1
00:00:06,547 --> 00:00:08,283
(woman yodeling)
2
00:00:08,350 --> 00:00:10,387
♪ ♪
3
00:00:15,698 --> 00:00:16,767
(yodeling stops)
4
00:00:16,901 --> 00:00:19,138
♪ ♪
5
00:00:23,614 --> 00:00:25,518
(crickets chirping)
6
00:00:25,618 --> 00:00:27,622
♪ ♪
7
00:00:41,517 --> 00:00:43,554
(puppies yipping)
8
00:00:43,654 --> 00:00:46,392
Congratulations, sir‐‐
it's eight puppies.
9
00:00:46,459 --> 00:00:48,463
Four boys, three girls, and, uh,
10
00:00:48,531 --> 00:00:51,002
one who would prefer
not to be labeled yet.
11
00:00:51,102 --> 00:00:53,139
Excellent,
eight purebred puppies
12
00:00:53,206 --> 00:00:54,509
descended from the
first litter
13
00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:57,348
of Karl Friedrich Dobermann
himself.
14
00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,352
Smithers, you're in charge
of their training.
15
00:00:59,452 --> 00:01:01,657
Teach them all
the classic commands.
16
00:01:01,724 --> 00:01:03,360
Sit, stay...
17
00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:06,700
and bite striking workers
with your "wittle teefers."
18
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:07,936
Yes, Mr. Burns.
19
00:01:08,003 --> 00:01:10,073
And you've allowed
the training dummies
20
00:01:10,173 --> 00:01:12,077
to fall into terrible disrepair.
21
00:01:12,177 --> 00:01:13,814
So I've ordered a new one.
22
00:01:13,915 --> 00:01:15,417
Here he is now.
23
00:01:15,484 --> 00:01:17,522
Um, I was told
there'd be a taco truck?
24
00:01:17,622 --> 00:01:20,127
Don't worry, their adult teeth
haven't come in yet.
25
00:01:20,193 --> 00:01:22,532
Just look out for
their much sharper baby teeth.
26
00:01:22,632 --> 00:01:24,803
‐(puppies snarling)
‐(Homer shouting)
27
00:01:25,805 --> 00:01:28,711
‐(whimpers)
‐Hmm. Hmm.
28
00:01:29,713 --> 00:01:31,316
(snarls)
29
00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:34,155
Ah, I guess
"Executive Kennel Supervisor"
30
00:01:34,255 --> 00:01:36,259
is all I'll ever be
to Mr. Burns.
31
00:01:36,359 --> 00:01:38,263
Nothing‐‐ ow‐‐ worse‐‐ ow‐‐
32
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:40,367
than not being respected‐‐
ow‐‐
33
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:41,804
at work! Ow!
34
00:01:41,937 --> 00:01:44,108
♪ ♪
35
00:01:44,175 --> 00:01:46,680
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow. (moans)
36
00:01:46,814 --> 00:01:49,753
Ow. Ow. Ow.
37
00:01:49,853 --> 00:01:52,391
‐Ow.
‐Aw!
38
00:01:53,193 --> 00:01:55,732
‐(snarling)
‐(grunting)
39
00:01:55,832 --> 00:01:57,802
(snarling)
40
00:01:57,869 --> 00:02:00,040
Ah, the puppies are finally
41
00:02:00,107 --> 00:02:01,510
murderous enough
to be doled out
42
00:02:01,577 --> 00:02:04,482
to my rich and powerful allies
who need watchdogs.
43
00:02:04,549 --> 00:02:06,654
Now to look through the pile
of bribes
44
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,793
and see who's begging
hard enough to earn a puppy.
45
00:02:09,893 --> 00:02:13,934
Warren Buffett sent this box
of broken wooden pieces.
46
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:15,270
Sir, that's a puzzle.
47
00:02:15,370 --> 00:02:16,573
(chuckles)
It certainly is a puzzle.
48
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:19,445
What's his game,
sending me these misshapen bits?
49
00:02:19,513 --> 00:02:22,786
Uh, well, it's an activity
people do for fun.
50
00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:25,123
With their friends.
Perhaps you and I could‐‐
51
00:02:25,190 --> 00:02:27,161
Perhaps you could
stop assuming familiarity
52
00:02:27,227 --> 00:02:28,330
with your betters.
53
00:02:28,396 --> 00:02:30,133
Now de‐gunk the puppies' eyes!
54
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,904
(Smithers groans sadly)
55
00:02:34,976 --> 00:02:37,147
(whimpering nearby)
56
00:02:38,818 --> 00:02:42,391
Oh, if only I'd been born
in a litter of puppies,
57
00:02:42,458 --> 00:02:44,495
then maybe someone
would love me.
58
00:02:44,596 --> 00:02:46,767
(clears his throat)
Simpson!
59
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,671
(sniffles)
60
00:02:48,771 --> 00:02:51,409
Come on, Mr. Smithers,
you don't have to be lonely.
61
00:02:51,476 --> 00:02:53,380
You've totally got it going on.
62
00:02:53,446 --> 00:02:56,052
You've got that bow tie
and those glasses
63
00:02:56,152 --> 00:02:58,991
and that hunky nasal voice.
64
00:02:59,058 --> 00:03:01,530
Oh, sadly, the Springfield
dating pool is
65
00:03:01,597 --> 00:03:03,266
pretty bleak.
66
00:03:03,299 --> 00:03:05,270
It's always guys
who don't want to commit,
67
00:03:05,337 --> 00:03:08,109
or straight guys
who are going through a phase.
68
00:03:08,176 --> 00:03:09,980
Disco Stu is
69
00:03:10,047 --> 00:03:12,317
hetero‐flexible. Ooh!
70
00:03:12,418 --> 00:03:15,190
(sighs) I just want someone
to be there when I get home.
71
00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:18,029
Someone who loves me
unconditionally.
72
00:03:18,096 --> 00:03:20,000
Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff.
73
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,104
It's the conditions
that'll kill ya.
74
00:03:22,171 --> 00:03:24,676
Mr. Smithers, I'm gonna
find you a man‐Marge.
75
00:03:24,776 --> 00:03:26,980
Look at this guy‐‐
he seems perfect!
76
00:03:27,047 --> 00:03:28,684
That's me.
77
00:03:28,784 --> 00:03:30,220
Oh, yeah.
78
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,559
Well, it is
a much younger picture.
79
00:03:33,594 --> 00:03:35,698
Goodbye. Thank you for the oil.
80
00:03:35,765 --> 00:03:36,934
I love it.
81
00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:38,236
Excellent.
82
00:03:38,336 --> 00:03:40,207
Well, that's the last
of the litter.
83
00:03:40,273 --> 00:03:43,113
Oh, except for you.
84
00:03:43,213 --> 00:03:45,250
You're no killer,
with those soft eyes
85
00:03:45,317 --> 00:03:46,920
and kind disposition.
86
00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:49,659
You've brought shame to
the very notion of inbreeding.
87
00:03:49,726 --> 00:03:51,095
Go on, bite him.
88
00:03:51,195 --> 00:03:53,399
Bite his doughy face.
89
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,172
(groans)
90
00:03:56,272 --> 00:03:58,343
Who's gonna take you home?
91
00:03:58,476 --> 00:04:00,313
I hope they find you a dictator
92
00:04:00,447 --> 00:04:01,950
who's as sweet as you are.
93
00:04:02,017 --> 00:04:03,353
Or...
94
00:04:03,453 --> 00:04:05,190
how about a Fortune 500
fashion designer
95
00:04:05,323 --> 00:04:08,597
who's already made a matching
suit for the puppy?
96
00:04:08,631 --> 00:04:11,503
Good muscle tone, needy,
with a slight drooling problem.
97
00:04:11,570 --> 00:04:14,208
Reminds me of my last boyfriend.
98
00:04:14,275 --> 00:04:18,383
HOMER:
His last girlfriend was a boy?
99
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:21,824
Your last girlfriend was a boy?
100
00:04:22,826 --> 00:04:25,965
(speaking in Mandarin)
101
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:26,967
(knocking)
102
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,571
Oh, I'm sorry. I was just...
103
00:04:28,671 --> 00:04:30,741
Negotiating the sale
of excess Kilowatt hours
104
00:04:30,842 --> 00:04:32,211
to a Chinese server farm.
105
00:04:32,311 --> 00:04:34,081
And you got a very good deal.
106
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,016
Mm.
107
00:04:35,117 --> 00:04:36,185
I also speak Mandarin.
108
00:04:36,252 --> 00:04:37,421
I'm Michael de Graaf,
109
00:04:37,522 --> 00:04:40,360
and I flew here from my villa
in Milan to claim this puppy.
110
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:43,399
I can offer Burns a priceless
Impressionist painting.
111
00:04:43,466 --> 00:04:46,573
Mr. Burns' collection
could use a Manet...
112
00:04:46,673 --> 00:04:50,280
Well, I've got a Monet and a guy
who can change O's to A's.
113
00:04:50,347 --> 00:04:52,652
Mm, Mr. Burns would never know
the difference.
114
00:04:52,719 --> 00:04:55,625
He hates art‐‐ he just wants
to keep it out of museums.
115
00:04:55,691 --> 00:04:57,595
But first I told him
you have some questions
116
00:04:57,662 --> 00:05:00,902
about what the puppy's
looking for in a companion.
117
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,741
Well, uh, this is
an unusual Dobermann.
118
00:05:03,841 --> 00:05:06,780
Uh, are you prepared
for a dog that's sweet,
119
00:05:06,847 --> 00:05:09,285
maybe a little shy,
but just wants to give his heart
120
00:05:09,385 --> 00:05:11,088
to someone who loves him?
121
00:05:11,155 --> 00:05:13,259
He sounds
like a dream come true.
122
00:05:13,326 --> 00:05:15,463
Okay, the puppy's yours,
Mr. de Graaf.
123
00:05:15,531 --> 00:05:17,334
Please, it's Michael.
124
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:19,171
This calls for a celebration.
125
00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:20,942
Are you free for dinner tonight?
126
00:05:21,042 --> 00:05:22,044
I'm sorry?
127
00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:23,714
You're talented,
smart as a whip,
128
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:27,020
and hot in a 1960s
Cape Canaveral kind of way.
129
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,158
I'd love to take you on a date.
130
00:05:29,258 --> 00:05:31,162
Well, I'd love...
131
00:05:31,262 --> 00:05:33,801
to say yes!
132
00:05:35,303 --> 00:05:36,507
♪ ♪
133
00:05:36,573 --> 00:05:39,378
I love this place!
It's so old school.
134
00:05:39,445 --> 00:05:42,184
It reminds me of my childhood‐‐
laminated menus,
135
00:05:42,284 --> 00:05:45,490
fossilized Parmesan,
problematic murals.
136
00:05:45,558 --> 00:05:48,062
‐(Michael chuckles)
‐Welcome‐a to Luigi's.
137
00:05:48,162 --> 00:05:50,233
Italiana food for everybody.
138
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:53,574
I put a‐salt and a‐pepper
on the table,
139
00:05:53,674 --> 00:05:55,778
but for you,
such a handsome couple,
140
00:05:55,878 --> 00:05:58,651
if you want‐a pepper
and‐a pepper,
141
00:05:58,751 --> 00:06:01,122
hey, that's a‐wonderful, too!
142
00:06:01,188 --> 00:06:04,361
(both laugh)
143
00:06:04,495 --> 00:06:06,265
Vintage vinyl.
144
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,236
Add some spikes to it,
and you've got half
145
00:06:08,303 --> 00:06:10,040
of Vivienne Westwood's career.
146
00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:11,442
(laughs)
147
00:06:11,510 --> 00:06:12,579
Okay, that was a fake laugh.
148
00:06:12,745 --> 00:06:15,483
I was afraid to admit I don't
know anything about fashion.
149
00:06:15,585 --> 00:06:17,922
Oh, that's so refreshing.
150
00:06:18,022 --> 00:06:20,728
People usually want
to date me to get into GQ,
151
00:06:20,828 --> 00:06:23,801
meet Anna Wintour, or co‐parent
Anderson Cooper's baby.
152
00:06:23,901 --> 00:06:26,239
I guess that was
just Anderson Cooper.
153
00:06:26,305 --> 00:06:30,548
Waylon, you are like
no one I've ever met.
154
00:06:31,482 --> 00:06:33,687
(muttering in Italian)
155
00:06:35,257 --> 00:06:37,494
Mamma, no!
God‐a loves everybody!
156
00:06:37,595 --> 00:06:39,866
(shouting in Italian)
157
00:06:40,935 --> 00:06:43,774
But what about Uncle Benito
and the roommate
158
00:06:43,874 --> 00:06:46,212
he always‐a brings
to Easter supper?
159
00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:47,815
(spits)
160
00:06:47,882 --> 00:06:50,988
Mamma, no! Do not put
a hex on their ziti!
161
00:06:51,088 --> 00:06:53,393
(both laughing)
162
00:06:54,128 --> 00:06:56,165
♪ ♪
163
00:06:57,769 --> 00:07:00,675
People like me should spend
more time in flyover country,
164
00:07:00,775 --> 00:07:02,779
see what America's really like.
165
00:07:02,879 --> 00:07:05,551
More like fly‐around country.
Planes won't go near us
166
00:07:05,651 --> 00:07:08,524
because of all the teens
with laser pointers.
167
00:07:11,195 --> 00:07:13,667
(sighs) It's a shame
you have to leave tomorrow.
168
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,270
Oh, I'm canceling my flight.
169
00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:16,506
Why?
170
00:07:16,573 --> 00:07:17,675
Because it would be much harder
171
00:07:17,775 --> 00:07:20,881
to fall in love with you
from Milan.
172
00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:25,023
(shivering)
173
00:07:25,123 --> 00:07:26,693
Homer, what happened?
174
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,631
I can feel it‐‐
my fix‐up is working.
175
00:07:28,697 --> 00:07:31,235
I changed the destiny
of two human beings.
176
00:07:31,302 --> 00:07:33,974
I am a gay matchmaking God!
177
00:07:34,074 --> 00:07:36,713
What about some straight
matchmaking for us?
178
00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:39,786
(scoffs)
I'm a God, not a miracle worker.
179
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,502
And he posted you
on his Instagram?
180
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:50,307
Cute caption? Gay couple emoji?
(gasps)
181
00:07:50,407 --> 00:07:52,545
(singsongy):
I'm excited!
182
00:07:52,612 --> 00:07:53,914
What was that?
183
00:07:54,048 --> 00:07:55,417
Oh, just guy stuff.
184
00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,555
Smithers was updating me
on his boyfriend.
185
00:07:57,622 --> 00:07:59,592
‐Boyfriend?
‐Yeah, no big deal.
186
00:07:59,726 --> 00:08:02,297
I kind of fixed Smithers up
with a dude I know.
187
00:08:02,397 --> 00:08:04,001
Now they're going steady.
No big deal.
188
00:08:04,101 --> 00:08:06,205
Wait, wait,
I just have one question.
189
00:08:06,305 --> 00:08:08,209
Can I ask you
a thousand questions?
190
00:08:08,309 --> 00:08:10,681
Sorry, Marge, late for work.
191
00:08:11,482 --> 00:08:13,520
(birds chirping)
192
00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:15,658
‐Tell me everything!
‐(shrieks)
193
00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:18,196
Um, they've been dating
for six weeks or so.
194
00:08:18,262 --> 00:08:19,365
You probably
don't even know him.
195
00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:20,668
He's some fashion designer guy.
196
00:08:20,735 --> 00:08:22,037
Michael de Graaf.
197
00:08:22,104 --> 00:08:23,172
What?
198
00:08:23,306 --> 00:08:25,778
Smithers is dating
Michael de Graaf,
199
00:08:25,845 --> 00:08:29,619
the judge on seasons ten through
15 of America's Got Fabric?
200
00:08:29,719 --> 00:08:32,491
He has my favorite catchphrase!
201
00:08:32,592 --> 00:08:34,929
Now, that is avant‐gorgeous.
202
00:08:35,030 --> 00:08:37,234
Oh, my God, honey,
you got catchphrased.
203
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:40,608
And he's even more famous
for his savage zings.
204
00:08:40,741 --> 00:08:42,879
I don't know.
It's a little Sex and the City.
205
00:08:42,945 --> 00:08:46,419
If there were no sex
and the city was Milwaukee.
206
00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:47,622
(chuckles)
207
00:08:47,688 --> 00:08:50,761
They dress so bad in Milwaukee.
208
00:08:50,861 --> 00:08:51,830
I assume.
209
00:08:51,897 --> 00:08:52,932
Hmm?
210
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:54,969
(groans)
211
00:08:55,771 --> 00:08:58,042
I have to meet Michael de Graaf!
212
00:08:58,176 --> 00:09:00,848
Okay, okay. When they come back
from their trip.
213
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,520
Ooh, whisked off
by a billionaire.
214
00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:06,125
How romantic. Where did they go?
215
00:09:06,192 --> 00:09:08,697
Well, Smithers says they're
too young for Provincetown,
216
00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:10,668
too monogamous for Fire Island
217
00:09:10,768 --> 00:09:13,406
and you know
how Waylon gets in Palm Springs.
218
00:09:13,473 --> 00:09:14,642
No, I don't!
219
00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:17,147
I don't know anything!
220
00:09:22,224 --> 00:09:23,326
Yeah, it's pretty sweet
221
00:09:23,392 --> 00:09:26,232
to completely alter
the course of people's lives.
222
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:28,169
If it goes great, I'm a genius.
223
00:09:28,236 --> 00:09:29,371
If it goes south,
224
00:09:29,471 --> 00:09:31,710
I just turn off my phone.
225
00:09:31,810 --> 00:09:35,049
Ah, a beautiful resort,
226
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,452
a turquoise ocean.
227
00:09:36,553 --> 00:09:38,322
The only thing missing
is Christine Baranski
228
00:09:38,423 --> 00:09:39,793
singing "Dancing Queen."
229
00:09:39,893 --> 00:09:42,230
I thought you might say that.
230
00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:44,435
("Dancing Queen" playing)
231
00:09:44,536 --> 00:09:47,742
♪ Friday night
and the lights are low ♪
232
00:09:47,809 --> 00:09:51,616
♪ Looking out
for a place to go ♪
233
00:09:51,683 --> 00:09:53,821
Oh, my God!
How much did that cost?
234
00:09:53,954 --> 00:09:55,223
Less than you might think.
235
00:09:55,256 --> 00:09:57,427
‐Oh, and I got you
something else.
‐Oh.
236
00:09:57,461 --> 00:09:58,931
I call it the Waylon.
237
00:09:58,997 --> 00:10:01,368
Like you,
it's sophisticated yet playful,
238
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,507
as blue and sparkling
as your eyes.
239
00:10:03,574 --> 00:10:05,043
Okay, I've got to go.
240
00:10:05,076 --> 00:10:08,550
I'm helping a 13‐year‐old boy
come out to his parents.
241
00:10:08,684 --> 00:10:10,955
To Jacksonville!
242
00:10:11,021 --> 00:10:16,198
♪ Digging
the dancing queen...! ♪
243
00:10:16,298 --> 00:10:18,136
(song ends)
244
00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:19,539
(bird caws)
245
00:10:19,606 --> 00:10:21,843
(panting)
Sorry I'm late, sir.
246
00:10:21,943 --> 00:10:24,248
A‐And sorry I wasn't available
this weekend.
247
00:10:24,348 --> 00:10:25,918
Or last weekend. I was...
248
00:10:25,985 --> 00:10:27,354
You were gone?
(chuckles)
249
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:29,158
Who cares? I figured it out.
250
00:10:29,224 --> 00:10:31,128
These pieces are designed
to interlock.
251
00:10:31,228 --> 00:10:33,065
But to what purpose?
252
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,434
Sir, it is a puzzle.
253
00:10:34,502 --> 00:10:35,738
Not for long, man.
254
00:10:35,838 --> 00:10:37,742
Monty Burns is on the case.
255
00:10:37,875 --> 00:10:42,350
The obvious first step is
to sort every piece by weight.
256
00:10:46,325 --> 00:10:47,294
‐Waylon!
‐(gasps)
257
00:10:47,394 --> 00:10:50,433
Marge? Why are you
in the executive parking lot?
258
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,570
Who cares?
259
00:10:51,670 --> 00:10:53,941
Tell me
all about Michael de Graaf!
260
00:10:54,007 --> 00:10:57,113
(chuckles)
Well, Michael's kind of perfect.
261
00:10:57,180 --> 00:10:58,851
Attentive,
treats me like an equal,
262
00:10:58,917 --> 00:11:00,788
has never trap‐doored
an entire Girl Scout troop
263
00:11:00,855 --> 00:11:02,157
because they were out
of Thin Mints.
264
00:11:02,290 --> 00:11:05,063
I mean, it's nice to finally be
in love with someone...
265
00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:05,865
good.
266
00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:07,702
I'm dying to meet him.
267
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:10,608
What if we threw you two
a party?
268
00:11:10,674 --> 00:11:12,410
A party. That's what people do
269
00:11:12,477 --> 00:11:14,516
when they finally have
something worth celebrating.
270
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,653
‐Let's do it!
‐Yes!
271
00:11:16,753 --> 00:11:19,491
This makes me part
of your couple origin story.
272
00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:20,493
I'm in!
273
00:11:20,561 --> 00:11:22,330
(low, upbeat music plays)
274
00:11:24,468 --> 00:11:26,372
Just what I always wanted
for him,
275
00:11:26,472 --> 00:11:28,510
a handsome
billionaire boyfriend.
276
00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:29,913
So happy.
277
00:11:30,013 --> 00:11:30,881
(grunts)
278
00:11:30,948 --> 00:11:32,518
Excuse me, Mr. de Graaf,
279
00:11:32,652 --> 00:11:35,089
we love your wicked zingers
on the show.
280
00:11:35,156 --> 00:11:36,158
Could you?
281
00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:37,093
My pleasure.
282
00:11:37,193 --> 00:11:39,131
Wow, it was so kind
of Estelle Getty
283
00:11:39,197 --> 00:11:42,003
to donate her wardrobe for
your production of The Crucible.
284
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:42,972
(laughs)
285
00:11:43,039 --> 00:11:45,544
Hello and welcome
to Grey Gardens.
286
00:11:45,644 --> 00:11:47,480
At least
those ladies had a look.
287
00:11:47,548 --> 00:11:49,418
You have a "don't look."
288
00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:51,222
(laughing)
289
00:11:51,322 --> 00:11:52,424
Do you like my top?
290
00:11:52,525 --> 00:11:53,694
Yes, I love the shoulder pads.
291
00:11:53,827 --> 00:11:56,833
Is something I would have said
in the '90s but not about that.
292
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,469
Do you like my top?
293
00:11:58,537 --> 00:12:00,908
Yes. He seems very nice.
294
00:12:01,710 --> 00:12:03,947
Is it wrong
to enjoy being envied?
295
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:06,185
Because I am savoring it.
296
00:12:06,252 --> 00:12:08,724
When did you first realize
that Homer was the one,
297
00:12:08,857 --> 00:12:10,728
the great love of your life?
298
00:12:10,828 --> 00:12:13,032
Well, after he got me pregnant,
299
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:16,305
I just knew he was someone
I was gonna have kids with.
300
00:12:16,405 --> 00:12:17,942
Aw. Mwah.
301
00:12:18,042 --> 00:12:20,514
Young lady, I like
your quirky fashion sense.
302
00:12:20,581 --> 00:12:22,885
That zigzag dress hem
is everything.
303
00:12:22,952 --> 00:12:25,824
Thanks, but I don't
really pay attention to fashion.
304
00:12:25,925 --> 00:12:28,730
It doesn't seem...
super important.
305
00:12:28,764 --> 00:12:31,268
I'd like to suggest
some alterations. May I?
306
00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:34,408
I mean, it's a waste
of your time, but fine.
307
00:12:34,474 --> 00:12:36,445
Wearing the same thing
every day is a choice,
308
00:12:36,513 --> 00:12:39,585
so I can free up my mind
to think about important things,
309
00:12:39,652 --> 00:12:41,656
rather than "Am I on trend?"
310
00:12:41,723 --> 00:12:43,760
Ha, whatever that means.
311
00:12:43,894 --> 00:12:45,631
You know who didn't care
about fashion?
312
00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:47,067
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
313
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,204
She slapped on a doily
and that was enough.
314
00:12:49,271 --> 00:12:52,444
This obsession with appearance
in our culture...
315
00:12:52,545 --> 00:12:53,914
Did you make me taller?
316
00:12:54,014 --> 00:12:55,116
I feel so confident.
317
00:12:55,249 --> 00:12:59,024
I don't even have a job, but
I'm going to ask for a raise.
318
00:12:59,091 --> 00:13:00,093
(grunts)
319
00:13:01,328 --> 00:13:03,265
A toast to our hosts.
320
00:13:03,332 --> 00:13:04,802
And to Marge's hair,
321
00:13:04,869 --> 00:13:07,207
which is avant‐gorgeous.
322
00:13:07,307 --> 00:13:08,644
(chuckles):
Oh!
323
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,246
And I want you to be
the first to hear‐‐
324
00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:12,752
I've decided to manufacture
my new retail line
325
00:13:12,818 --> 00:13:14,187
right here in Springfield,
326
00:13:14,287 --> 00:13:17,595
in the factory that used
to make fidget spinners.
327
00:13:17,628 --> 00:13:19,197
Spin‐ners!
328
00:13:19,297 --> 00:13:21,770
And if anyone needs a job,
there are applications
329
00:13:21,836 --> 00:13:25,476
right next to the best coleslaw
I've ever had.
330
00:13:25,544 --> 00:13:27,113
MARGE:
Ooh‐hoo!
331
00:13:27,180 --> 00:13:28,617
(cheering)
332
00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:29,652
(grumbles)
333
00:13:29,752 --> 00:13:31,856
Mamma, everyone is‐a happy.
334
00:13:31,923 --> 00:13:35,129
Why are you so against
this‐a love? Why?
335
00:13:35,196 --> 00:13:36,633
I hate...
336
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,271
because I hate‐a myself!
337
00:13:39,371 --> 00:13:41,943
I... I love‐a the women.
338
00:13:41,976 --> 00:13:44,348
No, Mamma, you are beautiful.
339
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:47,187
You love‐a the women,
and I love‐a the you.
340
00:13:47,253 --> 00:13:49,157
(both crying)
341
00:13:49,257 --> 00:13:53,567
I had a pillow
of‐a Gina Lollobrigida
342
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:54,936
that I used to, oh...
343
00:13:55,036 --> 00:13:57,107
(speaking Italian)
344
00:13:57,207 --> 00:14:00,013
Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, Mamma!
345
00:14:01,115 --> 00:14:03,687
(gasps) Look,
it's Michael's new factory!
346
00:14:03,787 --> 00:14:05,323
So modern.
347
00:14:05,423 --> 00:14:06,425
Can we look inside?
348
00:14:06,492 --> 00:14:08,496
Yeah, do you know anybody
that works there?
349
00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,201
Ha, well, they hired
most of the desperate saps
350
00:14:11,301 --> 00:14:12,671
who've been unemployed forever.
351
00:14:12,805 --> 00:14:14,141
So, yeah,
I'm friends with all of 'em.
352
00:14:14,207 --> 00:14:17,414
This week's trend
is glitter on sunglasses.
353
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,284
So we got right on it.
354
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:27,735
(coughs)
355
00:14:27,835 --> 00:14:30,139
What happens
to all the toxic stuff?
356
00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:32,511
It gets off‐glittered
through the chimney.
357
00:14:33,547 --> 00:14:34,882
(geese honking)
358
00:14:34,949 --> 00:14:38,322
(distressed honking)
359
00:14:39,926 --> 00:14:42,063
Hey, look at me,
I'm a working stiff!
360
00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:44,702
Very stiff. These chemicals
are giving me a condition
361
00:14:44,802 --> 00:14:48,042
my doctor calls
"living rigor mortis."
362
00:14:48,777 --> 00:14:50,012
(yells)
363
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:54,254
No wonder fast fashion
is so inexpensive.
364
00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:56,559
This place is terrible
for the environment.
365
00:14:56,626 --> 00:14:58,362
And it's a sweatshop!
366
00:14:58,429 --> 00:15:01,503
No, sweetie,
it's a sweatpants shop.
367
00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:04,709
Which are made with Lycra,
which leaches into the sea.
368
00:15:04,776 --> 00:15:07,815
Our oceans
are now ten percent spandex.
369
00:15:07,882 --> 00:15:09,986
Well, then they'll fit the Earth
more snugly.
370
00:15:10,086 --> 00:15:11,656
Dad, how can Michael allow this?
371
00:15:11,689 --> 00:15:14,562
I thought gay people were
supposed to be better than us.
372
00:15:14,629 --> 00:15:15,764
You mean our boss?
373
00:15:15,798 --> 00:15:16,833
He knows.
374
00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:19,104
♪ ♪
375
00:15:20,507 --> 00:15:23,547
No. Michael's the perfect guy
for Smithers.
376
00:15:23,647 --> 00:15:25,450
I picked him out!
377
00:15:25,517 --> 00:15:27,120
I fixed them up!
378
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:31,061
My gay matchmaking reputation
is ruined!
379
00:15:31,161 --> 00:15:33,667
The human suffering is bad, too.
380
00:15:39,044 --> 00:15:41,616
(sighs) How do I tell Smithers
that the love of his life
381
00:15:41,749 --> 00:15:43,152
is running a sweatshop?
382
00:15:43,219 --> 00:15:44,922
Hey, look,
you tried to play God,
383
00:15:44,989 --> 00:15:46,158
and now, like God,
384
00:15:46,291 --> 00:15:50,233
you get to stand back and laugh
at all the losers' suffering.
385
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:51,870
Ha‐ha.
386
00:15:51,903 --> 00:15:53,372
Ah, losers.
387
00:15:53,472 --> 00:15:57,447
Oh, who knew gay relationships
could be complicated?
388
00:15:57,548 --> 00:16:00,219
(men moaning)
389
00:16:00,319 --> 00:16:02,525
Man, tough day on the line.
390
00:16:02,591 --> 00:16:06,866
Another guy lost an arm
to the spaghetti strap slicer.
391
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:09,070
Oh, I don't feel so good.
392
00:16:09,171 --> 00:16:12,578
I think I spent too much time
in the tie‐dye chamber.
393
00:16:12,645 --> 00:16:13,980
(coughs)
394
00:16:14,782 --> 00:16:15,884
You think that's bad?
395
00:16:15,951 --> 00:16:18,690
I got to go break a guy's heart.
396
00:16:20,527 --> 00:16:21,963
There he is!
397
00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:23,567
The man who showed me
that love is real
398
00:16:23,633 --> 00:16:26,205
and there is a man
at the end of the rainbow.
399
00:16:26,271 --> 00:16:29,979
Oof. Speaking of showing you
things you didn't know,
400
00:16:30,079 --> 00:16:32,718
look what his factory's done
to Lake Springfield.
401
00:16:34,387 --> 00:16:35,657
Wha...? (gasps)
402
00:16:35,724 --> 00:16:37,862
HOMER:
It's gone plaid.
403
00:16:37,962 --> 00:16:40,099
(groans) M‐Michael
must have an explanation.
404
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,134
He‐He's a good man.
405
00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:42,638
Uh, I just need advice
406
00:16:42,705 --> 00:16:44,709
from someone who understands
the ethical challenges
407
00:16:44,809 --> 00:16:46,478
faced by business leaders.
408
00:16:46,546 --> 00:16:49,952
Smithers,
I've made amazing progress.
409
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:52,023
By giving this enigma
my undivided attention,
410
00:16:52,123 --> 00:16:54,929
I've proven conclusively
these pieces form...
411
00:16:54,996 --> 00:16:56,833
a secret image.
412
00:16:56,966 --> 00:16:58,269
I can't believe
I'm asking you this,
413
00:16:58,369 --> 00:17:01,375
but I‐I have a question about,
uh...
414
00:17:01,441 --> 00:17:02,443
my love life.
415
00:17:02,511 --> 00:17:04,749
Indeed.
Tell me about the lucky lady.
416
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,118
‐Man.
‐Oh. What's her...
417
00:17:06,218 --> 00:17:07,287
‐His.
‐...name?
418
00:17:07,387 --> 00:17:09,859
‐Michael.
‐Michelle. Such a lovely name.
419
00:17:09,926 --> 00:17:11,028
And, uh, what does she...
420
00:17:11,128 --> 00:17:12,196
‐He.
‐...do?
421
00:17:12,263 --> 00:17:13,399
Well, that's just it, sir.
422
00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:15,169
He's the CEO of a major company.
423
00:17:15,269 --> 00:17:17,140
He's wonderful to me,
but I‐I'm worried
424
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,046
he might ruthlessly care
about nothing but profit.
425
00:17:20,112 --> 00:17:21,616
Ooh, don't tell me,
426
00:17:21,716 --> 00:17:22,918
is it Sheryl Sandberg?
427
00:17:22,985 --> 00:17:24,589
No, it's Michael de Graaf.
428
00:17:24,655 --> 00:17:26,859
Michael de Graaf?
Smithers, you fool.
429
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,362
Marry that man right now.
430
00:17:28,429 --> 00:17:31,736
‐What?
‐So you have to pretend
to be gay‐‐ who cares?
431
00:17:31,803 --> 00:17:33,172
He's a billionaire.
432
00:17:33,239 --> 00:17:35,209
Come, you must see.
433
00:17:35,978 --> 00:17:37,715
SMITHERS:
A denim fire?
434
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,486
De Graaf's discovered
the secret.
435
00:17:40,554 --> 00:17:43,760
Fast fashion is far more toxic
than nuclear power.
436
00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:47,100
‐It's worse?
‐Nuclear energy gives people
warmth and light.
437
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,939
This guy is profiting
off a product nobody needs:
438
00:17:50,039 --> 00:17:52,711
a constant stream
of brand‐new skinnied jeans
439
00:17:52,778 --> 00:17:55,149
and be‐cropped tops.
440
00:17:56,351 --> 00:17:58,790
Look what they've done
to Blinky.
441
00:18:01,161 --> 00:18:03,800
Our toxins may have created
the three‐eyed fish,
442
00:18:03,867 --> 00:18:05,469
but we never managed to kill it.
443
00:18:05,570 --> 00:18:07,708
You've got yourself
one hell of a guy.
444
00:18:07,775 --> 00:18:10,413
Don't let him slip away.
445
00:18:13,452 --> 00:18:15,524
(explosion)
446
00:18:16,726 --> 00:18:19,264
(gasps) I always thought
a Chernobyl in Springfield
447
00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:21,268
would be caused
by my horrible boss,
448
00:18:21,335 --> 00:18:23,506
not my perfect boyfriend.
449
00:18:25,510 --> 00:18:28,817
♪ ♪
450
00:18:40,507 --> 00:18:42,377
Something's clogging the engine!
451
00:18:42,443 --> 00:18:44,749
My God, it's loungewear.
452
00:18:44,815 --> 00:18:47,286
Loungewear!
453
00:18:48,890 --> 00:18:52,631
Michael, your factory
is literally a toxic workplace.
454
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,034
Don't worry, sweetie.
455
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:56,371
I've got an amazing
crisis management company.
456
00:18:56,438 --> 00:18:58,242
They're the ones
who squelched the story
457
00:18:58,342 --> 00:19:01,348
that Peloton seats
are made from dolphin faces.
458
00:19:03,152 --> 00:19:05,489
‐(explosion)
‐(yells)
‐If I'm making clothes
459
00:19:05,590 --> 00:19:07,561
for Tommy Target
and Wendy Walmart,
460
00:19:07,661 --> 00:19:08,830
they have to be cheap.
461
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:09,999
Because in fast fashion,
462
00:19:10,099 --> 00:19:12,236
whoever cuts
the most corners wins.
463
00:19:12,337 --> 00:19:15,844
(cries) I can't believe
I fell in love with a monster.
464
00:19:15,911 --> 00:19:19,451
Really? It seems to me that you
have a pretty consistent type.
465
00:19:19,518 --> 00:19:20,419
Ah.
466
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,925
‐(explosion)
‐Exquisite.
467
00:19:22,991 --> 00:19:24,127
Is that acid?
468
00:19:24,227 --> 00:19:25,931
No, molten sports bra.
469
00:19:25,997 --> 00:19:28,435
Waylon, you deserve
Milan, Paris,
470
00:19:28,536 --> 00:19:31,041
at the very least,
a town with a Chipotle.
471
00:19:31,141 --> 00:19:32,978
I love that you care
about what's right,
472
00:19:33,112 --> 00:19:35,349
but, for once,
do what's right for you.
473
00:19:35,416 --> 00:19:38,088
Come away with me and be adored.
474
00:19:38,155 --> 00:19:41,395
(sighs)
Adored would be a nice change.
475
00:19:45,403 --> 00:19:47,941
To seeing the best in each other
476
00:19:48,042 --> 00:19:49,979
and ignoring everything else.
477
00:19:50,046 --> 00:19:52,283
I'll drink to that.
478
00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:53,887
‐(yaps)
‐Ooh! Idiot!
479
00:19:53,953 --> 00:19:57,694
These pants are made of cashmere
and shredded Picassos.
480
00:19:57,795 --> 00:19:59,431
(whimpers)
481
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,903
(whimpers)
482
00:20:03,907 --> 00:20:06,779
♪ ♪
483
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:09,618
Buck up, pal.
484
00:20:09,685 --> 00:20:11,823
Beautiful jet‐setting
gay billionaires
485
00:20:11,889 --> 00:20:13,760
are a dime a dozen in this town.
486
00:20:13,827 --> 00:20:16,198
(sighs) It's gonna take
some time to get over Michael.
487
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,903
But I did get one thing out
of the relationship.
488
00:20:19,705 --> 00:20:22,009
Someone to be there
when I come home,
489
00:20:22,076 --> 00:20:24,682
who will love me
unconditionally.
490
00:20:24,782 --> 00:20:26,084
(chuckles softly)
491
00:20:26,853 --> 00:20:30,292
You're the one hound
I'll never release.
492
00:20:38,743 --> 00:20:41,081
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
493
00:20:41,181 --> 00:20:43,318
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
494
00:20:43,452 --> 00:20:45,924
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
495
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:54,608
The last piece. You will reveal
your secrets to me.
496
00:20:54,708 --> 00:20:57,581
Good Lord! All this time,
it was a hot‐air balloon!
497
00:20:57,648 --> 00:20:59,618
Yes, sir, just like the picture
on the box.
498
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:02,423
There was a picture? Well, that
could have saved me months!
499
00:21:02,457 --> 00:21:04,461
Oh, well. Now I can get back
to crushing unions,
500
00:21:04,562 --> 00:21:06,599
fouling the air
and garbaging the Pacific.
501
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,402
(stammers)
Sir, before you do that,
502
00:21:08,469 --> 00:21:10,206
maybe you'd like to try
another puzzle?
503
00:21:10,272 --> 00:21:11,341
This one's a little harder.
504
00:21:11,441 --> 00:21:13,345
It's a hundred pieces, and, uh,
505
00:21:13,445 --> 00:21:15,282
two of the unicorns
look pretty similar.
506
00:21:15,349 --> 00:21:17,420
Clear my calendar!
Lock the door!
507
00:21:17,487 --> 00:21:19,090
Turn up the Wagner.
508
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:21,929
("Ride of the Valkyries"
playing)
509
00:21:21,996 --> 00:21:25,436
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
510
00:21:30,547 --> 00:21:32,416
Shh!