﻿1
00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:03,537
(magical theme playing)

2
00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,939
Ho, ho, ho!

3
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,709
‐♪ ♪
‐(children laughing, chattering)

4
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:22,089
Good sir, perchance you would
like to try on

5
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,525
the "categorize cap"
to see which school

6
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,159
of magic most suits thee?

7
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,061
Not today, weirdo.

8
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:29,897
(alarm blares)

9
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:32,799
Congratulations,
you're a Grizzledum!

10
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,036
Yes! Finally!
A hat that respects me!

11
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:37,638
Don't be too cocky.

12
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:40,774
That means you're a sworn
enemy of Pufflesnuff.

13
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,876
I hate those guys.

14
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,112
Well, well, well, if it ain't

15
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,447
one of those Grizzledum gits.

16
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:51,351
Someone had a little too much
bubble and squeak for breakfast.

17
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:54,221
Don't worry, Dad.
Those are just park employees.

18
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,490
Cool!
Then they can't hit me back.

19
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,591
Oi!

20
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,860
We're seasonal workers.

21
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:02,729
We can do
as we bloody well please.

22
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:06,033
Yeah, well, just wait'll
my fellow Grizzledums help me.

23
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,169
I'm known for my stomach aches.

24
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:12,439
My character was cut
from the movies.

25
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,208
‐Aah!
‐Get him!

26
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,310
[sighs] This is a good time
to call Grampa

27
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,312
and see how Maggie's doing.

28
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,080
PUFFLESNUFF: Carve a lightning
bolt in his head!

29
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:22,449
<i>Hello, Mabel.
Can I have my dad?</i>

30
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,483
Sure thing, Marge.

31
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:26,587
Patching you through
to Throwback 7244.

32
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:27,821
(phone rings)

33
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,591
Hey, Marge,
everything is A‐okay,

34
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,192
which was a popular slogan

35
00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:35,529
during Martin Van Buren's
election campaign because...

36
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,866
Ooh, thank God
I'm on my anti‐rambling meds.

37
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,368
I remember the first day
I went on them.

38
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,169
That's it.

39
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,770
Anyway, Maggie's having fun

40
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,439
with her little friend.

41
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,607
We're at the beach?!

42
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:48,408
I better put on sunscreen.

43
00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:49,643
(humming)

44
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,745
♪ ♪

45
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,956
(exhales)
I finally know what it's like

46
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,458
to be a British beverage.

47
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:08,161
Gently back and forth,
back and forth.

48
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:11,331
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

49
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:13,901
Bart!
Stop playing with the wheel.

50
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,336
Only if Homer buys us something
at the gift shop!

51
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:19,940
Why do I keep thinking
these places will be fun?

52
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,043
You don't!
It's a place you can be with us

53
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,078
without having to talk to us.

54
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,346
(Bart laughs evilly)

55
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:32,586
Oh, finally,
a place to spend money.

56
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,521
I'll take three of each wand

57
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:37,291
plus holsters and the
five‐year magic care warranty.

58
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:40,360
And I'll pick the one
that costs a little extra

59
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:43,363
because they also give
a wand to a needy child.

60
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,765
(groans)

61
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,534
(grunting)

62
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:50,404
Aw.

63
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,507
Listen to her,
purring like a kitten.

64
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:57,744
(gasps) Grampa, when was
the last time you saw Maggie?

65
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,646
I just changed her diaper

66
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,515
before I put the cat out.

67
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,116
Uh‐oh.

68
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,286
‐Maggie!
‐Where are you, Mags?

69
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,488
Ask Grampa, maybe he knows.

70
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:09,756
(knocking)

71
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,391
Simpsons, I don't know

72
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:14,628
if Heaven's missing an angel,
but I think you might be.

73
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,800
Oh, my sweet baby!

74
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,335
Flanders, I owe ya one.

75
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,704
Well, sir, could you give me
back my Allen wrench?

76
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,672
(scoffs)
This guy names his tools.

77
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:29,910
Grampa, I'm afraid we'll never
ask you to babysit again.

78
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,112
Who says I want to?
You never even pay me!

79
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:34,915
Well, you can rest easy
knowing if anything did happen,

80
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:37,184
she has the only insurance
you truly need.

81
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,186
A simple Christian baptism.

82
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:41,722
Actually,
we haven't gotten around

83
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,123
to baptizing her yet.

84
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,858
You mean
this child could've been

85
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,293
cast into God's basement

86
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,829
of eternal burning,
because you were "too busy"?

87
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:52,232
We could baptize her soon,
if you want to be the godfather.

88
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,501
Oh, no can‐doodily.
I'm already the godfather

89
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,637
to 1,100 children.
Take one of these.

90
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,106
‐It'll buzz
when I have an opening.
‐(buzzes)

91
00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:00,641
This is for a baptism?

92
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:04,511
My wife is Shinto and I worship
the Klingon faith of Ba‐a‐a‐a.

93
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,647
We thought this was
for Tony Roma's.

94
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,515
Good night!

95
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:13,187
I can't stop thinking
about Maggie not being baptized.

96
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,489
What if...
the unspeakable happens?

97
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:17,457
Are you saying that just
because we don't splash

98
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,993
a little water on her
she's gonna burn forever?

99
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:21,995
Sleep well, knowing
current religious thought

100
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,064
is Maggie won't go to Hell.

101
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:26,767
Although that's
always up for debate.

102
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,203
‐Mm. (snores)
‐(sighs)

103
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,509
Hmm.

104
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,244
♪ ♪

105
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:38,345
Ah! Ah.

106
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,452
Nice and unbaptized.

107
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,622
She'll play
in an unsanitary ball pit

108
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,757
‐for all eternity.
‐(gasps)

109
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,626
(Devil laughing)

110
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,195
And I'm here, too!

111
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,098
And I've got Milhouse
growing on my back.

112
00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,634
I'm the front
and you're the back!

113
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,269
‐I'm the front!
‐(grunts)

114
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:03,470
Ow!

115
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,074
We have
to get Maggie baptized now.

116
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,443
Either Patty or Selma could be
the godmother.

117
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,678
Well, that would insult
one of them.

118
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,647
But I want
to insult both of them.

119
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,549
What we really need

120
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,150
for the godfather

121
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,919
is someone
who goes to church weekly,

122
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,054
not the Christmas
and Easter crowd.

123
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,090
Lousy part‐time Protestants.

124
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,125
I go every week
and sleep through mass

125
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,793
like a real Christian.

126
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,096
Homie, this is important to me.

127
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,265
I get it, but can't this wait?

128
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,034
You go find her a godfather!

129
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,637
The classiest person you know.

130
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:41,909
‐BOTH: Hey!
‐Wait a minute!

131
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,577
I wasn't watching that!

132
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:44,678
Guys, this is serious.

133
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:47,080
I'm looking for a godfather
for my little angel.

134
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:49,750
Aw, what a cutie.
Let me give her a sip of beer.

135
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,785
Okay, you're out.

136
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,253
If I'm out, Carl's out.

137
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:56,123
I decide who tells
me what to do. Moe?

138
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,493
You're out, Carl. So, Homer,
I hear you're lookin' for...

139
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,761
You're out. Barney?

140
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:03,063
‐You're out.
‐Aw!

141
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,998
Godfather? Well let's see.

142
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,167
I have done a great
job with Ralphie.

143
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,571
HOMER:
Wiggum out.

144
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:13,907
Don't worry, sweetie. You don't
need a godfather right away.

145
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,543
You're gonna live
a long, long time.

146
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:22,516
Here's another avoidable death
you've gotten us into.

147
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,185
(sobbing)

148
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,724
Fat Tony!

149
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,059
You saved us!

150
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:35,229
Not I.
It was the Blessed Mother.

151
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,131
You're religious, too.

152
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,634
You'd be a great godfather,
if it weren't for...

153
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,503
If it weren't for what?

154
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,671
Uh... you know...

155
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,907
No, I do not know.

156
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:47,908
(whimpers)

157
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,577
What a cute little bambina.

158
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,012
(Maggie giggling)

159
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,380
I accept your offer.

160
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,483
I will be godfather
to your child.

161
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,417
Yeah, but, but, but...

162
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,821
You did offer it to me,
didn't you?

163
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:03,657
He said it.
We got it all on tape.

164
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,226
(sobs)
I truly appreciate this.

165
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,462
I have nothing innocent
and pure in my life,

166
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,064
but now I have
this sweet little angel.

167
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,900
Great, great.

168
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,035
This'll be just
like <i>The Godfather.</i>

169
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,404
‐The what?
‐You know, the movie
<i>The Godfather.</i>

170
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,473
‐Never heard of it.
‐It's about a guy like you,

171
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:20,507
who does what you do.

172
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,609
Which is what?

173
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,411
Um, legitimate business.

174
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:27,147
He sounds like quite the fellow,
this godfather.

175
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,816
I've seen <i>Shark Tale</i>
and <i>Analyze This,</i>

176
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,852
but that sounds even better.

177
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,787
Fat Tony can't be godfather.

178
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,190
We'd be better off
with Mr. Burns.

179
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,725
I asked him.
He's allergic to new baby smell.

180
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:39,927
(knocking)

181
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:43,397
Pardon me for dropping
by unannounced,

182
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,134
but I could not help but notice
that my goddaughter‐to‐be has

183
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:51,238
an outdated car seat
facing in the wrong direction.

184
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:56,310
(whimpers)

185
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,879
So, I have taken
the liberty of purchasing you

186
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,381
the most exclusive,
top‐of‐the‐line

187
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:05,452
car seat:
the Ferrari Protect‐a‐rossa.

188
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,489
Well, that's very nice, but...

189
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:13,160
And you, the mama,
will drive her more safely

190
00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:16,463
in this Luxus SUV
I have leased in your name.

191
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,198
It's got everything.

192
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,933
Blindspot monitors...

193
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,236
built‐in humidor, a GPS

194
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,304
that doesn't think
it's better than you.

195
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:26,740
MALE VOICE:
Sure, let's try it your way.

196
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:29,176
‐Oh...
‐FAT TONY: Hmm?

197
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:33,747
Fat Tony, I'm sorry,
but you can't be the godfather.

198
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,315
Marge, think about this.

199
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:37,818
Your baby will want
to go to an elite preschool,

200
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,586
a prestigious prep school,

201
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,188
a college with the ivy.

202
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,891
I could help you
with all these things.

203
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,526
You can really do that?

204
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:48,161
With the soccer coaches
and admissions officers

205
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:51,665
I have in my pocket
like so many yogurt melties.

206
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:58,572
We'll play along
until we can get out of it.

207
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,009
Godfather.

208
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,580
Welcome to the family.

209
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,017
Welcome to the family.

210
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,294
<i>MARGE:
Okay, just get through this.</i>

211
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,329
<i>Then you never see
the godparents again.</i>

212
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:25,098
Always so nice to see you,
Fat Tony.

213
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,633
Is everything okay?

214
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,537
Please, please, say it's okay.

215
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,105
Why you no answering?

216
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:35,309
I'm a‐gonna die!
And I've never been‐a to Italy!

217
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,577
(sobbing)

218
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,245
Everything's fine.

219
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:41,281
Ah, I knew it.
Have‐a some parmesan.

220
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,649
My hand!

221
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,152
It's‐a having a heart attack!

222
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,789
Now, I take my duties
as godfather seriously.

223
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,891
I might almost be intrusive.

224
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,059
Almost.

225
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,460
First, I want to help

226
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,996
with little Margaret's
religious development.

227
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,732
For my first communion,
my sainted mother gave me

228
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:02,469
this book and ten dollars,
which was a fortune to me.

229
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:04,371
I never spent it.

230
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,040
Mama!

231
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,612
First, the queen of all saints,

232
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,580
Mary, the only woman in history

233
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:17,117
who had the ugatz
to be a mother and a virgin.

234
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,586
Actually, the virgin birth
is the doctrine

235
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:21,355
of traditional Christianity.

236
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:22,756
Not Protestants.

237
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,525
<i>La beata madre è stata</i>

238
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,527
<i>concepita senza
peccato originale.</i>

239
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:29,930
<i>Quindi è possibile
che sia madre e vergine.</i>

240
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:31,265
Oh. Got it.

241
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,268
This is Saint Lucia,

242
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:37,171
which may or may not be
where my money is.

243
00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:39,873
And this is St. Zeno of Verona,

244
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,476
the saint of learning to speak.

245
00:10:42,543 --> 00:10:44,678
For you, Margaret.

246
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,414
Hmm.

247
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:50,551
Ah, you got to love
a religion with merch.

248
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:55,022
Maybe this could work out.

249
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:58,492
You just enjoy riding
in a safe car for once.

250
00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:01,094
Yes! Yes! Yes, I do!

251
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,163
For the family.

252
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,332
Stop so we can do
the door again.

253
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,169
Whoa, Mama!
(laughs)

254
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:11,171
D'oh!

255
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,641
I can't believe the boss
has us babysitting.

256
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:17,377
I broke out of prison for this?

257
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,149
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

258
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:25,185
Careful, those babies got those
super sharp fingernails!

259
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,123
Here ya go, Baby Boss.

260
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,065
<i>Mangia. Mangia.</i>

261
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,499
Leave no evidence.

262
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,335
Boss,
Benny down at the liquor store

263
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,770
is late on his payment. Again.

264
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,606
Let me break his kneecaps.

265
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:46,740
<i>Marone a mi!</i>

266
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,443
You never ever talk that way
in front of a baby.

267
00:11:49,510 --> 00:11:51,245
Uh, uh, okay, uh,

268
00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:53,881
what if we give him
a boo‐boo to the brain?

269
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,650
Make him go night‐night forever?

270
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:57,885
Disgusting!

271
00:11:57,985 --> 00:12:00,220
You give the kiss of death
with that mouth?

272
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:02,756
Now, if you'll excuse me...

273
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,992
I have to take
sweet little Maggie

274
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,160
to Guido and Me class.

275
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,062
(humming happily)

276
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,298
I think the boss is
gettin' soft.

277
00:12:11,365 --> 00:12:13,100
Next thing you know,
he'll be startin'

278
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:15,235
a legitimate
legitimate business!

279
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,404
Eh, I think
you're imagining things.

280
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:21,008
♪ Twinkle, twinkle,
little star ♪

281
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,610
♪ Let me hotwire you a car ♪

282
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:26,747
♪ We'll change the plates,
I know a guy ♪

283
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:29,816
♪ You'll be my little alibi. ♪

284
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,653
(laughs)
You stole my heart.

285
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,621
You little criminal.

286
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,590
(all groaning)

287
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,126
(all gasping)

288
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,528
Ah, it's‐a so sad.

289
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:44,031
Fat Tony has been
a very good boss.

290
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:48,168
I have too much respect
for him not to kill him.

291
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,404
Eh, what do you think,
Johnny Tightlips?

292
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:53,073
I don't want
to do nothin' to nobody.

293
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,642
So... you want to do
somethin' to somebody.

294
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,277
Exactly.

295
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,379
Does Maggie seem different
to you?

296
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:00,681
I'm worried.

297
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,616
Uh, Marge,
let me put it this way.

298
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,084
We can't be bad parents,

299
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:07,221
because bad parents can't
get their kid into...

300
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,923
the finest preschool in town!

301
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,458
Maggie has been admitted

302
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,894
to the Preschool
for the Performing Arts?

303
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,963
They have a three‐year wait.

304
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,465
Is she in the morning class
or afternoon?

305
00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:19,733
Morning.

306
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,635
‐Mm.
‐(knocking)

307
00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:24,137
I'm afraid we have
an agreement

308
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:26,206
and you have not held up
your end.

309
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:28,842
We are going for a ride.

310
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,478
(whimpering)

311
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:37,317
No!

312
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:42,089
No goddaughter of mine
will miss Sunday service.

313
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:44,091
Oh, but I'm hungover.

314
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,293
We were gonna go at 1:00 p. m.

315
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,529
I'm afraid there ain't
no 1:00 p. m. no more.

316
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,764
Low attendance whacked it
from the schedule.

317
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:51,999
I knew it.

318
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,233
You make a deal with the devil,

319
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,668
and look where you wind up.

320
00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:56,303
‐(snoring)
‐Wake up.

321
00:13:56,370 --> 00:13:57,371
(blabbering)

322
00:13:57,471 --> 00:13:58,739
Oh, come on, man.

323
00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:00,307
Even the priest is asleep.

324
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,875
(yawns)

325
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:05,179
Please rise
and open your hymnals.

326
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,383
(whispers):
He said open your book.

327
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:13,353
♪ You were so right, I'm
a moron, I'm so frightened ♪

328
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:17,591
♪ Bail us out now,
I am out of ideas. ♪

329
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,362
Look, if we're direct
and say he can't be godfather,

330
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,264
what's the worst
that can happen?

331
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,166
Did you see <i>The Godfather?</i>

332
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,734
I saw the wedding part.

333
00:14:27,835 --> 00:14:29,503
Does anything happen after that?

334
00:14:29,570 --> 00:14:32,539
That Carlo seems
like a wonderful husband.

335
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:35,509
‐What are you talking about?
‐Uh, Mister Fat?

336
00:14:35,576 --> 00:14:38,712
There's a non‐whacking matter
I need to discuss with you.

337
00:14:38,779 --> 00:14:40,614
I also have
to tell you something.

338
00:14:40,681 --> 00:14:44,117
Your daughter is cute, smart,
and sweet as a hung jury.

339
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,420
So I will honor
all of you next Sunday

340
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,857
with tickets to Itchy
and Scratchy's Christmas On Ice.

341
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:54,027
Now, what did you want
to tell me?

342
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,263
I, um, uh, stall, stall...

343
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,198
play for time...
(stammers)

344
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:01,034
I wanted to tell you
how great you look in that suit.

345
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,302
Why, thank you.

346
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,004
Why do people have
such difficulty

347
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,606
telling me how great I am?

348
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,212
This is
the first business I've had

349
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,848
where in the back room is
just more of the same.

350
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,050
Thoughts?

351
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,019
Hey, these diaper bags
are great.

352
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,088
You could hide a brick
of nose candy in here.

353
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,624
No, you <i>mezzo arguto paisan!</i>

354
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,192
This is all aboveboard.

355
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,060
I want to be family friendly.

356
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,730
You mean "the family" family?

357
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:31,732
I mean every family!

358
00:15:31,832 --> 00:15:33,600
Except the Branzinos.

359
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,068
Death to them.

360
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,136
ALL THREE:
Death to them.

361
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,271
Hey, boss, maybe you can get

362
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,640
your little Maggie one of these.

363
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,543
You would body shame a baby?!

364
00:15:44,745 --> 00:15:46,580
‐(door closes)
‐I've seen enough.

365
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,482
This Sunday we make our move.

366
00:15:48,549 --> 00:15:50,317
Can we make it Saturday?
I got a thing.

367
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,352
‐Move your thing.
‐I already moved it

368
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,321
for the thing that was cancelled
for the you know what

369
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,056
where we did that thing
we did not do.

370
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:58,225
That didn't happen
two weeks ago.

371
00:15:58,292 --> 00:15:59,893
You don't know about that!

372
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,863
You don't know
what I don't know.

373
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,465
Um, we certainly appreciate

374
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,367
all you've done for us.

375
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:10,671
Maggie has all the bling
a toddler could want.

376
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,408
Don't look at me.

377
00:16:14,508 --> 00:16:16,710
They fell off the back
of a tricycle.

378
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,080
(crying)

379
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,516
(gasps)
What have we done?

380
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,954
Uh, Maggie! What are ya doin'?

381
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,056
I didn't mean it! Maggie!

382
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:32,159
Fat Tony, get away from my kid!

383
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,063
That's it.

384
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,868
Fine. I see.

385
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:43,971
Excuse me,
there is an urgent matter

386
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,039
I must attend to.

387
00:16:57,885 --> 00:16:59,152
(burps)

388
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:01,889
Homer, can I tell you
a little secret?

389
00:17:01,955 --> 00:17:04,525
‐No, no, please don't!
‐It's a good secret.

390
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,227
I'm finally getting out of
this terrible business I'm in.

391
00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:09,963
And into the slightly
less cutthroat business

392
00:17:09,997 --> 00:17:11,932
of maternity wear.

393
00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:13,901
I'm gonna get my soul back.

394
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:16,737
And Maggie is my inspiration.

395
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,772
‐Aw.
‐Give me one more day

396
00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:20,874
to prove
that I belong in her life.

397
00:17:20,974 --> 00:17:22,709
I'll see what I can do.

398
00:17:22,743 --> 00:17:24,978
(giggles)

399
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,048
Legs! Louie! Get in here!

400
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,316
Dispose of this.

401
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:32,419
I don't want
to know where or how.

402
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,297
Ain't nobody gonna
find this now.

403
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:46,533
Uh, marone.
You never forget that smell.

404
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:04,418
Remember: take the gun.

405
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,286
Leave the Zamboni.

406
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,922
Okay, this is it.
I'm ending it today.

407
00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:12,292
In a public place
with a lot of witnesses.

408
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:20,667
Well, Fat Tony,
this is really fun,

409
00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:22,736
but where is everyone else?

410
00:18:22,803 --> 00:18:25,105
On the suggestion
of my coworkers,

411
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,774
who only have
my best interests in mind,

412
00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:29,743
I bought out the whole arena

413
00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:32,279
for my dear little Maggie.

414
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,548
No audience means no witnesses!

415
00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:36,116
What's going on?

416
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,352
Fat Tony, I beg you!

417
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:41,054
Stop being
my daughter's godfather!

418
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,657
If you do, I'll clean for you,
I'll cook for you.

419
00:18:43,724 --> 00:18:45,526
I'll be your mama!

420
00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:47,594
God rest her soul.

421
00:18:48,829 --> 00:18:50,430
I must refuse your offer.

422
00:18:50,531 --> 00:18:53,066
I made a promise to God
to watch your baby.

423
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,903
And he's the only boss
I answer to.

424
00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:59,239
Except that guy in Kansas City.

425
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,874
<i>MARGE:
Oh, no! No!</i>

426
00:19:00,941 --> 00:19:02,543
<i>We're stuck with him forever!</i>

427
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:04,411
<i>Maggie's in Hell already!</i>

428
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,655
Johnny Tightlips!

429
00:19:14,755 --> 00:19:16,423
This is it, Tony.

430
00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:19,226
You did the worst thing
a mob boss could ever do.

431
00:19:19,293 --> 00:19:21,228
Care about somebody else.

432
00:19:21,295 --> 00:19:24,198
I thought you was
with me on this double cross!

433
00:19:24,298 --> 00:19:27,100
We'll never turn on Tony!
He's my cousin!

434
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,702
I thought he was my cousin!

435
00:19:28,802 --> 00:19:30,237
Well, he's somebody's cousin.

436
00:19:30,304 --> 00:19:32,472
And in this world,
that's what counts.

437
00:19:32,506 --> 00:19:34,274
You would betray me?

438
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,375
(grunts)

439
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,710
(gasps)

440
00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:40,981
No, Maggie, no! I'm sorry!

441
00:19:41,048 --> 00:19:43,617
‐That's not me!
‐Oh, isn't it?

442
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,152
Oh, my God, you're right.

443
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,887
I cannot change who I am.

444
00:19:46,987 --> 00:19:49,156
Also that maternity store
was a joke.

445
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,691
They look, but don't buy.

446
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,894
But, Maggie, it's not too late
for you to go straight.

447
00:19:53,994 --> 00:19:56,530
I'm stepping back as godfather.

448
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:57,865
‐Finally.
‐Thank God.

449
00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:59,499
(grunting)

450
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:00,634
Oops.

451
00:20:00,734 --> 00:20:03,337
Here's the keys to the SUV.

452
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,439
(both grunting)

453
00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:11,945
You have to let go
for me to take them back.

454
00:20:12,012 --> 00:20:13,347
I know, let me just

455
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,415
open the doors one more time.

456
00:20:15,449 --> 00:20:16,650
(alarm chirps)

457
00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:18,519
(grunts, groans)

458
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,888
Maggie, my darling.

459
00:20:20,988 --> 00:20:23,123
Thank you for reminding me
of everything

460
00:20:23,190 --> 00:20:25,492
that's good and sweet
in this world.

461
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,694
And now, <i>ciao bella.</i>

462
00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:29,062
(sniffing)
Ew, uh,

463
00:20:29,129 --> 00:20:31,598
before you go... could you?

464
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,467
Just when I thought I was out,

465
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,069
they drag me back in.

466
00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:51,318
I'm not afraid to say it.

467
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,453
If this keeps up,
I'm calling HR.

468
00:20:53,554 --> 00:20:56,557
You mean Harry the Rat?
He's buried right over there.

469
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:02,963
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION

470
00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:05,966
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

471
00:21:06,033 --> 00:21:08,735
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.

472
00:21:08,769 --> 00:21:12,206
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

473
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:31,992
Shh!

