1 00:00:02,873 --> 00:00:04,676 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:05,812 --> 00:00:08,083 (humming a tune) 3 00:00:08,183 --> 00:00:10,254 - (indistinct chatter) - Huh? 4 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,824 So dope. 5 00:00:11,891 --> 00:00:13,661 Slammin' kicks. 6 00:00:13,761 --> 00:00:15,632 Is that kid wearing Slipremes? 7 00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:18,136 He totally is. 8 00:00:19,205 --> 00:00:22,111 These are my first tie-shoes. 9 00:00:22,177 --> 00:00:24,248 You're wearing the new Slipreme Caliphates? 10 00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:27,321 How did a chum-wad like you get a pair? 11 00:00:27,388 --> 00:00:29,258 My daddy took my cat to the cat doctor, 12 00:00:29,325 --> 00:00:30,962 and when Daddy came home, 13 00:00:31,029 --> 00:00:33,066 my cat had turned into these shoes. 14 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:35,538 So Ralph got weird sneakers-- who cares? 15 00:00:35,638 --> 00:00:37,809 Uh, no one... 16 00:00:37,876 --> 00:00:39,713 except everyone. 17 00:00:39,780 --> 00:00:41,617 Those aren't just sneakers. 18 00:00:41,684 --> 00:00:43,053 They're Slipremes. 19 00:00:43,186 --> 00:00:45,692 That's Orion Hughes' skatewear company. 20 00:00:45,792 --> 00:00:48,263 He's huge on TikTok. 21 00:00:48,363 --> 00:00:50,467 Got to say, today was crazy. 22 00:00:50,568 --> 00:00:52,071 You all know my dad, 23 00:00:52,137 --> 00:00:54,342 international superstar Darius Hughes. 24 00:00:54,375 --> 00:00:56,780 Well, I just laid down the hook for his new movie, 25 00:00:56,847 --> 00:00:59,519 Duplicate Cop 2: Copy Cop. 26 00:00:59,653 --> 00:01:01,957 (laughs) ♪ One cop that you just can't stop ♪ 27 00:01:02,024 --> 00:01:05,297 ♪ 'Cause he's two cops-- one cop and a copy of a cop ♪ 28 00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:08,169 ♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪ 29 00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,240 And my skatewear brand, Slipreme, 30 00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:12,177 is about to drop a new shoe, 31 00:01:12,244 --> 00:01:14,482 the sequel to the Caliphate One. 32 00:01:14,583 --> 00:01:16,152 The Caliphate Two. 33 00:01:16,219 --> 00:01:18,958 Limited release-- available only this Friday. 34 00:01:19,025 --> 00:01:20,528 (laughs) And Saturday, 35 00:01:20,595 --> 00:01:23,099 we explode the pop-up factory that makes them. 36 00:01:23,199 --> 00:01:26,707 ALL (chanting): Go! Go! Go, Orion! Go! Go! 37 00:01:26,774 --> 00:01:28,443 Go! Go! Go, popcorn! 38 00:01:28,511 --> 00:01:30,848 - Go! Go! Go, popcorn! - (gasps) 39 00:01:30,915 --> 00:01:32,986 BOTH: No! No! No kernels! 40 00:01:33,119 --> 00:01:35,858 No! No! No kernels! 41 00:01:35,925 --> 00:01:37,361 Hey, that's my favorite show. 42 00:01:37,428 --> 00:01:39,465 You guys have to buy me these sneakers. 43 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,369 They're all anyone cares about at school. 44 00:01:41,436 --> 00:01:43,173 And if I don't have them, I'm nobody. 45 00:01:43,239 --> 00:01:45,444 Well, you're somebody in this house. 46 00:01:45,511 --> 00:01:47,682 Come on, don't lie to the boy. 47 00:01:47,749 --> 00:01:49,485 I've never wanted a piece of clothing before 48 00:01:49,586 --> 00:01:51,055 in my entire life. 49 00:01:51,122 --> 00:01:52,659 Dad, with this one act, 50 00:01:52,726 --> 00:01:55,898 you can erase ten years of second-rate parenting. 51 00:01:55,965 --> 00:01:57,368 I'd think about that, Homie. 52 00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,005 It's a pretty good offer. 53 00:01:59,071 --> 00:02:00,307 Mm? 54 00:02:00,374 --> 00:02:03,380 You must really want those pants 55 00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,017 or videogame. 56 00:02:05,117 --> 00:02:08,289 Son, your father will deliver. 57 00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:14,068 Of course Orion Hughes' new store would be 58 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,907 in Springfield's former packing peanuts district. 59 00:02:17,041 --> 00:02:18,978 This street is so cool. 60 00:02:19,045 --> 00:02:21,349 art galleries, beard-only barbershops, 61 00:02:21,416 --> 00:02:23,353 and a weird store that only sells 62 00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:25,625 a single action figure. 63 00:02:25,692 --> 00:02:27,428 How do they survive? 64 00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:30,768 Hmm? 65 00:02:30,835 --> 00:02:32,972 Oh, look at this line. 66 00:02:33,073 --> 00:02:34,843 Can't even see those guys. 67 00:02:34,943 --> 00:02:38,049 I'm gonna be stuck here all day with the nose ring brigade. 68 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:42,391 In that case, I'm gonna check out this Hasidic surfwear shop. 69 00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:46,099 Okay, Homer, you can do this-- you waited in line overnight 70 00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:48,103 for Krusty's new fried chicken sandwich. 71 00:02:48,203 --> 00:02:51,376 And it was the best decision of your life. 72 00:02:51,476 --> 00:02:54,348 I will get Bart those shoes. 73 00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:58,123 Whoa! 74 00:02:58,223 --> 00:03:00,260 (gasps) Whoa! 75 00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:02,966 Dad, you got 'em. 76 00:03:03,033 --> 00:03:05,337 I waited through rain, through sun, 77 00:03:05,437 --> 00:03:07,341 through the death of my phone battery 78 00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:09,980 from watching super-cuts of boating accident videos, 79 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,521 all to see the joy on your face. 80 00:03:13,621 --> 00:03:16,860 I love you, Dad. I finally love you. 81 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,229 And bought love 82 00:03:18,329 --> 00:03:21,269 is the best kind of love. 83 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:22,739 - JIMBO: Wow! - NELSON: I'm so pumped! 84 00:03:22,839 --> 00:03:23,941 DOLPH: I'm also pumped! 85 00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:26,145 Here come the sneakers! 86 00:03:26,212 --> 00:03:28,149 KID: Shh, shh. 87 00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:31,089 ALL: Whoa! (hushed clamoring) 88 00:03:31,222 --> 00:03:32,692 (both screaming) 89 00:03:32,759 --> 00:03:35,965 Whoa, I got to see those babies in action. 90 00:03:36,099 --> 00:03:38,069 ♪ ♪ 91 00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:40,373 (grunts) Hmm? 92 00:03:42,244 --> 00:03:44,281 (grunts) 93 00:03:44,315 --> 00:03:46,285 (all gasp) 94 00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:48,256 These shoes are made from... 95 00:03:48,323 --> 00:03:52,164 - used Band- - Aids and North Korean newspapers? 96 00:03:52,197 --> 00:03:54,034 My dad waited in line all day for these shoes, 97 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,337 and they're crap. 98 00:03:55,404 --> 00:03:58,276 I'm gonna go to that store and get his money back. 99 00:03:58,376 --> 00:04:00,515 (gasps) "Dear Leader Announces 100 00:04:00,581 --> 00:04:02,786 Wheat Quotas Exceeded Yet Again." 101 00:04:02,886 --> 00:04:04,890 (all cheering) 102 00:04:06,259 --> 00:04:08,697 (snoring) 103 00:04:08,764 --> 00:04:09,966 (phone chimes) 104 00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:11,770 Ooh, a text. 105 00:04:11,804 --> 00:04:13,808 (imitates powering down) 106 00:04:14,810 --> 00:04:16,379 (Bart reading) 107 00:04:17,749 --> 00:04:18,884 Returning the shoes? 108 00:04:18,984 --> 00:04:20,822 But then he'll find out... 109 00:04:20,888 --> 00:04:23,426 what really happened. 110 00:04:23,493 --> 00:04:26,165 So hot, no shade. 111 00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:27,602 Maybe this guy will let me sit 112 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:30,608 under his flat-brimmed baseball hat? 113 00:04:30,675 --> 00:04:32,645 Mm... Mm. 114 00:04:32,745 --> 00:04:33,981 Homer J. Simpsons. 115 00:04:34,048 --> 00:04:37,354 The line-standing legend himself. 116 00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:39,425 Hey! Mike Wegman! 117 00:04:39,559 --> 00:04:41,864 How's it clangin'? Where's your food truck? 118 00:04:41,964 --> 00:04:43,968 Somebody pushed it off a bridge, but don't worry, 119 00:04:44,068 --> 00:04:47,107 I had a good reason, and now I got an even better business. 120 00:04:47,174 --> 00:04:49,211 Selling those limited-edition sneakers. 121 00:04:49,345 --> 00:04:50,748 You want a pair? 122 00:04:50,848 --> 00:04:52,451 Oh, my God, my kid's begging for these. 123 00:04:52,519 --> 00:04:53,954 How much do I owe you? 124 00:04:54,054 --> 00:04:55,658 You owe me? 125 00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:58,329 How much do the pilgrims owe the Statue of Liberty? 126 00:04:58,396 --> 00:05:00,535 How much does hot dog owe a mustard? 127 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:03,106 For you, these are on the house. 128 00:05:03,206 --> 00:05:04,943 Oh, thank you so much. 129 00:05:05,010 --> 00:05:07,949 Don't worry about it, these aren't real Slipremes anyway. 130 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,553 What? They're fake? 131 00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:12,224 Oh, but I promised my son the real ones. 132 00:05:12,257 --> 00:05:14,696 Who, Bart, huh? That bed-wetting nobody? 133 00:05:14,763 --> 00:05:17,134 He won't be able to tell the difference. 134 00:05:17,201 --> 00:05:19,305 Kids today aren't like you and me. 135 00:05:19,371 --> 00:05:21,910 They're dumb because of phones or whatever. 136 00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:25,985 Hmm, and I do like getting away with things. 137 00:05:26,018 --> 00:05:27,555 That's winner talk there. 138 00:05:27,655 --> 00:05:30,327 Hey, which of you freak shows wants to do business? 139 00:05:30,393 --> 00:05:32,632 I like your dumb hat. 140 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,805 (humming a tune) 141 00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:37,942 (grunts) 142 00:05:38,042 --> 00:05:39,746 Mm? Mmm! 143 00:05:39,813 --> 00:05:42,417 I got to stop Bart from returning those fake sneakers. 144 00:05:42,484 --> 00:05:44,255 "No no no no no!" 145 00:05:44,321 --> 00:05:46,860 - (phone chimes) - Thanks, Dad, it is on. 146 00:05:46,927 --> 00:05:48,531 Bart Simpson here, about to clown some fools 147 00:05:48,631 --> 00:05:50,935 who sold me some crappy sneakers. 148 00:05:51,035 --> 00:05:53,908 These shoes are trash. I want my money back. 149 00:05:53,974 --> 00:05:56,747 Uh, real Caliphate Twos aren't made from garbage. 150 00:05:56,813 --> 00:06:00,053 They're vegan leather made from upcycled recycling bins. 151 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,857 BART: Wait, what? 152 00:06:01,924 --> 00:06:03,393 These are fakes. 153 00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:06,232 You're trying to return bootleg sneakers. 154 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,871 You can't record me-- I'm recording you. 155 00:06:08,938 --> 00:06:10,508 What up, Shauna Nation? 156 00:06:10,575 --> 00:06:12,545 As always, I'm Shauna. 157 00:06:12,645 --> 00:06:15,483 (scoffs) Look at this idiot, trying to return a knock-off. 158 00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:18,891 Link in my bio to win free edible eyeshadow. 159 00:06:18,991 --> 00:06:20,227 They're not fake. 160 00:06:20,293 --> 00:06:22,532 (laughing) 161 00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:25,805 My Dad waited in line for these shoes and spent a lot of money. 162 00:06:25,938 --> 00:06:28,376 And Homer Simpson would never lie to his son 163 00:06:28,409 --> 00:06:31,148 just to get out of standing in li... (gasps) 164 00:06:31,215 --> 00:06:33,419 Oh, my God, he bought me fake shoes. 165 00:06:33,486 --> 00:06:35,190 Bart, don't return the shoes! 166 00:06:35,257 --> 00:06:36,192 This is just a dream. 167 00:06:36,259 --> 00:06:38,129 - Wake up, Bart. Wake up. - (grunts) 168 00:06:38,196 --> 00:06:39,733 How could you? 169 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,102 I will never be more embarrassed 170 00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:43,473 than I am right now. 171 00:06:44,241 --> 00:06:45,377 (all gasp) 172 00:06:45,477 --> 00:06:48,049 We have underpants. 173 00:06:48,149 --> 00:06:50,588 You've ruined me! 174 00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:52,457 ALL: Please like and subscribe. 175 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,506 Stupid Homer. Turned me into a GIF. 176 00:07:00,307 --> 00:07:02,512 Oh, man. 177 00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:06,352 You're even a dance. It's called 178 00:07:06,452 --> 00:07:08,222 the "Pants Kid Shimmy." 179 00:07:08,289 --> 00:07:10,293 It's everywhere! 180 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,464 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 181 00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,003 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 182 00:07:15,070 --> 00:07:17,374 ♪ Pants Kid Shimmy ♪ 183 00:07:17,441 --> 00:07:19,144 ♪ Shimmy, shimmy. ♪ 184 00:07:19,211 --> 00:07:21,415 So fun! (laughs) 185 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:23,654 Son, I got you this apology card. 186 00:07:23,754 --> 00:07:26,025 The duck, you know, on the front, he thinks 187 00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:29,331 what I did was "quackers," and maybe he's right. 188 00:07:29,465 --> 00:07:31,035 Don't ever talk to me again! 189 00:07:31,135 --> 00:07:32,972 What was I thinking, trusting you to help me look cool? 190 00:07:33,039 --> 00:07:35,377 You're the least cool person who ever lived. 191 00:07:35,477 --> 00:07:37,314 (gasps) But that includes Urkel. 192 00:07:37,381 --> 00:07:39,418 You're bald. You own a bowling ball. 193 00:07:39,519 --> 00:07:41,422 You own truck nuts but no truck. 194 00:07:41,523 --> 00:07:44,061 You've seen Tim Allen's standup multiple times. 195 00:07:44,128 --> 00:07:45,631 You still have a CD tower. 196 00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,000 And each one your three kids 197 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,604 is embarrassed by you in a different way. 198 00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:50,473 - (Homer whimpers) - Mm. 199 00:07:50,574 --> 00:07:52,377 You were born uncool 200 00:07:52,444 --> 00:07:54,348 and every day for four decades, 201 00:07:54,415 --> 00:07:56,620 you've gotten less cool. 202 00:07:58,489 --> 00:08:00,861 I know I'm not exactly Stefan Urquelle, 203 00:08:00,928 --> 00:08:04,001 but didn't you ever think your old man was a little cool? 204 00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:06,573 Never. Not one bit. 205 00:08:07,374 --> 00:08:09,078 (whimpers, sniffles) 206 00:08:09,144 --> 00:08:10,881 (doorbell rings) 207 00:08:11,683 --> 00:08:14,088 I'm sorry to bother you. I'm looking for Bart Simpson. 208 00:08:14,154 --> 00:08:15,423 Orion Hughes! 209 00:08:15,490 --> 00:08:17,995 I found your critically-maligned book of poetry 210 00:08:18,096 --> 00:08:20,233 to be weirdly moving. 211 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,540 Yeah, I thought poetry would be hard, but it wasn't. 212 00:08:23,574 --> 00:08:25,644 I know you. You're the voice 213 00:08:25,745 --> 00:08:27,515 of the urban squid from the live-action 214 00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:29,284 Finding Nemo. 215 00:08:29,351 --> 00:08:30,286 (gasps) 216 00:08:30,353 --> 00:08:32,257 Bart, I wanted to apologize 217 00:08:32,324 --> 00:08:34,294 for the way my employees shamed you. 218 00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:35,664 You heard about that? 219 00:08:35,798 --> 00:08:38,236 - (humming a tune) - Ooh, I saw that dance 220 00:08:38,302 --> 00:08:40,741 on Ellen today. 221 00:08:40,841 --> 00:08:41,910 (moans) 222 00:08:41,977 --> 00:08:43,547 You didn't know the shoes were fake. 223 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,183 To make up for your global humiliation, 224 00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,889 I brought your family some free Slipreme skatewear. 225 00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,636 Whoa, new skateboards! 226 00:08:55,403 --> 00:08:57,007 (grunts) 227 00:08:57,842 --> 00:09:00,146 Grab a board, show me what you got. 228 00:09:00,246 --> 00:09:02,084 Uh, I'd love to, of course. 229 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,889 But the thing is, I have a deal with Slim Jim. 230 00:09:04,956 --> 00:09:08,697 I can't skate unless I'm holding a Dr. Pepper Salami Twister. 231 00:09:08,797 --> 00:09:10,500 Come on, just ollie off the curb. 232 00:09:10,568 --> 00:09:12,572 Ollie? Oh, yeah, that's the move 233 00:09:12,672 --> 00:09:14,475 where you throw it, right? 234 00:09:14,576 --> 00:09:16,278 - (grunting): Ollie! - (gasps) 235 00:09:16,378 --> 00:09:20,353 You own a skatewear company and you don't know how to skate? 236 00:09:20,453 --> 00:09:22,457 (whimpers) 237 00:09:22,525 --> 00:09:23,994 Please don't tell anyone. 238 00:09:24,094 --> 00:09:25,698 Hey, dude, no worries. 239 00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,869 You know what? I can teach you to skate. 240 00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,873 But what if I'm not instantly amazing at it? 241 00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:32,177 I've heard that can happen. 242 00:09:32,979 --> 00:09:35,183 Okay, feet on the board, bend your knees, 243 00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:36,653 find your center... 244 00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:38,891 - (grunts) See? You're doing it! - (exclaiming) 245 00:09:38,991 --> 00:09:40,828 I'm doing it. I-I'm authentic. 246 00:09:40,895 --> 00:09:43,099 No one's ever been this real. 247 00:09:43,199 --> 00:09:45,136 Don't fall down! 248 00:09:45,203 --> 00:09:46,840 What's "falling down"? 249 00:09:46,873 --> 00:09:48,242 (grunts) 250 00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,520 That's-that's my blood. 251 00:09:53,554 --> 00:09:55,323 I've never seen it before. 252 00:09:55,390 --> 00:09:57,394 So cool. Let's go again. 253 00:09:57,461 --> 00:09:58,964 (both exclaim) 254 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,638 Can you pass the guacamole, #GuacAttack? 255 00:10:02,772 --> 00:10:04,542 ♪NewChipsOnTheGuac? 256 00:10:04,609 --> 00:10:06,713 You're hashtagging a lot lately. 257 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:09,418 So Bart called you uncool, big deal. 258 00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:11,523 Chasing after coolness is futile, 259 00:10:11,656 --> 00:10:13,326 because the definition is both arbitrary 260 00:10:13,392 --> 00:10:15,230 and constantly changing. 261 00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:17,367 Mm, still want to be it. 262 00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:21,843 With hard shell tacos, you've got to bite them 263 00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:24,148 from the bottom, like this. 264 00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,018 (grunts) 265 00:10:26,118 --> 00:10:27,354 Why?! 266 00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:30,360 Why do I keep buying hard shells? 267 00:10:30,426 --> 00:10:32,430 I hate them! 268 00:10:32,497 --> 00:10:34,434 Uh, I'm going to Moe's. 269 00:10:34,502 --> 00:10:36,773 At least put on a clean shirt. 270 00:10:37,575 --> 00:10:39,278 Hmm. Mm. 271 00:10:39,378 --> 00:10:40,848 Mm. Hmm. 272 00:10:44,856 --> 00:10:45,758 Homer. 273 00:10:45,825 --> 00:10:47,360 Check it out-- I'm selling 274 00:10:47,427 --> 00:10:49,231 premium Wagyu-style steaks. 275 00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:51,168 The 72-month subscription plan-- 276 00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:53,640 it comes with a genuine landline phone. 277 00:10:53,707 --> 00:10:56,312 I'm too depressed to figure out what you're saying. 278 00:10:56,412 --> 00:10:58,316 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 279 00:10:58,416 --> 00:11:00,153 That's a Slipreme hoodie. 280 00:11:00,253 --> 00:11:03,760 And that ain't even a knock-off like these donkey steaks. 281 00:11:04,562 --> 00:11:05,898 I got to post this. 282 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:08,670 Whoa, someone posted a picture of me, 283 00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:11,308 and it it's not for falling down an escalator 284 00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:13,279 or yelling at a parking meter. 285 00:11:13,346 --> 00:11:14,883 Which means I must be... 286 00:11:14,983 --> 00:11:17,822 Cool. Yes, you are now cool. 287 00:11:17,955 --> 00:11:19,926 HOMER: I've been liked. 288 00:11:19,993 --> 00:11:21,863 Someone enjoyed looking at me. 289 00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:24,903 Finally, I know how it feels to be stylish. 290 00:11:25,003 --> 00:11:26,706 To be loved for my appearance 291 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,744 instead of judged for my actions. 292 00:11:28,844 --> 00:11:31,315 (gasps) This is why people 293 00:11:31,415 --> 00:11:33,252 own more than one outfit. 294 00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:36,091 Thank you, Mike Wegman! 295 00:11:37,728 --> 00:11:40,500 ORION: 540 flip straight onto your ear. 296 00:11:40,568 --> 00:11:41,937 Oh. 297 00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:43,005 Legendary! 298 00:11:43,105 --> 00:11:44,909 (slurring): Am I still slurring my's words? 299 00:11:44,976 --> 00:11:47,247 Uh, it's-it's barely noticeable. 300 00:11:47,314 --> 00:11:49,686 Having a movie star dad, I don't really get 301 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,255 to hang out with regular kids. 302 00:11:51,322 --> 00:11:52,992 With you I can relax, you know, without having 303 00:11:53,092 --> 00:11:55,396 to redefine our generation's notion of relaxation. 304 00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,000 I guess I envy you. 305 00:11:57,067 --> 00:11:59,672 Isn't that something rich people say to poor people 306 00:11:59,739 --> 00:12:02,277 so that they feel less guilty about being rich? 307 00:12:02,344 --> 00:12:05,216 Yes, but for the first time, I mean it. 308 00:12:05,283 --> 00:12:07,722 You helped me bleed. Maybe I can help you. 309 00:12:07,822 --> 00:12:10,093 What if we design a new sneaker together? 310 00:12:10,159 --> 00:12:12,163 A sneaker that all my friends will buy? 311 00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:15,036 No, a sneaker that all your friends will want to buy, 312 00:12:15,136 --> 00:12:18,009 but can't, because we won't make enough of them. 313 00:12:18,109 --> 00:12:20,280 (gasps) That's even better. 314 00:12:20,346 --> 00:12:22,150 Huh? 315 00:12:23,352 --> 00:12:24,923 What the hell are you wearing? 316 00:12:25,023 --> 00:12:27,862 I know what it is-- a hobo was murdered at a rave, 317 00:12:27,929 --> 00:12:30,901 and Homer's going undercover to find the killer. 318 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,239 Nah, nah, nah, he drove a motorcycle 319 00:12:33,339 --> 00:12:36,546 through the clothesline of a bi-curious farmer. 320 00:12:36,613 --> 00:12:38,984 (laughs) I was once like you. 321 00:12:39,084 --> 00:12:41,623 Wearing clothes I bought at the gas station 322 00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:43,392 or found at the beach. 323 00:12:43,459 --> 00:12:46,332 But I've learned something-- when you wear crazy clothes 324 00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:49,471 you don't understand, you're not you anymore. 325 00:12:49,539 --> 00:12:51,643 You're someone better. 326 00:12:51,743 --> 00:12:53,547 Oh, my God. 327 00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,851 I'm beautiful. 328 00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:04,636 Hey. 329 00:13:04,702 --> 00:13:07,273 Well, look at me-- I'm a real Hep Cat. 330 00:13:07,374 --> 00:13:11,448 And not just because I got Hep C, A and T. 331 00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:13,386 Which, I-I do got those. 332 00:13:13,486 --> 00:13:17,093 We must tell all middle-aged men that they need not grow old. 333 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,899 Where do the graying masses gather to worship? 334 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,203 ♪ I'm so sophisticated ♪ 335 00:13:22,270 --> 00:13:24,976 ♪ To get a verse from me, you gotta be initiated ♪ 336 00:13:25,076 --> 00:13:28,082 ♪ To get a purse from me, she gotta be sophisticated ♪ 337 00:13:28,149 --> 00:13:31,288 ♪ Purchase a whip from me and never miss a single payment ♪ 338 00:13:31,355 --> 00:13:34,294 ♪ You wanna be the hottest but that can get complicated. ♪ 339 00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:36,198 Bart, together we'll design a sneaker 340 00:13:36,265 --> 00:13:39,237 that'll change sneaker culture forever. 341 00:13:39,338 --> 00:13:41,141 Which, in this business, is one week. 342 00:13:41,175 --> 00:13:43,947 ♪ ♪ 343 00:14:05,456 --> 00:14:07,595 The Bartman One. 344 00:14:07,695 --> 00:14:10,266 My life has mattered. 345 00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:13,172 Yeah, and it comes with a sticker in the box. 346 00:14:13,272 --> 00:14:15,343 The release party is Saturday night. 347 00:14:15,443 --> 00:14:17,047 It's gonna be perfect. 348 00:14:17,113 --> 00:14:19,317 The right music, the right influencers, 349 00:14:19,418 --> 00:14:21,422 and every single person there will be young, 350 00:14:21,488 --> 00:14:23,359 cool and beautiful. 351 00:14:23,459 --> 00:14:26,165 Excuse me, do you have this in a large? 352 00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,035 You're buying that for yourself? 353 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,339 But old people don't know about my clothes. 354 00:14:30,473 --> 00:14:32,143 Unless... 355 00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:33,780 Oh, no. 356 00:14:33,847 --> 00:14:34,882 They're here. 357 00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:36,820 The middle-aged. 358 00:14:36,886 --> 00:14:38,523 The uncool! 359 00:14:38,623 --> 00:14:40,928 (both screaming) 360 00:14:46,573 --> 00:14:47,875 This is a nightmare. 361 00:14:47,975 --> 00:14:50,714 My brand's been discovered by dads. 362 00:14:50,781 --> 00:14:53,252 I'm wearing this to da club. 363 00:14:53,319 --> 00:14:54,956 Da bridge club. 364 00:14:55,056 --> 00:14:56,793 It's like Ed Hardy all over again. 365 00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:58,964 Who the heck is Ed Hardy? 366 00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:02,070 ORION: Ed Hardy was a California tattoo artist 367 00:15:02,137 --> 00:15:04,107 whose unique designs were the epitome of cool. 368 00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:05,844 But then, one terrible day, 369 00:15:05,944 --> 00:15:08,449 a newly-divorced dad wanted to seem younger 370 00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:09,819 on his dating profile. 371 00:15:09,886 --> 00:15:11,623 He bought a sleeveless tee in XXL 372 00:15:11,689 --> 00:15:13,359 and then posted the picture. 373 00:15:13,426 --> 00:15:15,496 Young people saw old people wearing the brand, 374 00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:17,902 and weeks later, a $700 million empire 375 00:15:17,968 --> 00:15:19,572 was sold for scrap. 376 00:15:20,874 --> 00:15:22,812 Stupid old losers. 377 00:15:22,912 --> 00:15:25,249 Slipreme's gonna die. What do I do?! 378 00:15:25,316 --> 00:15:27,287 I don't know, but we can think of something. 379 00:15:27,353 --> 00:15:30,259 We're two of the coolest kids in the world, right? 380 00:15:30,326 --> 00:15:32,565 So cool. You've even got your own sneaker. 381 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,134 That's cool, isn't it? 382 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,038 I don't even know anymore. 383 00:15:36,105 --> 00:15:38,209 Hey, Bart, thank your old man 384 00:15:38,309 --> 00:15:41,048 for introducing me to the look of the street. 385 00:15:41,081 --> 00:15:44,922 Wait, Homer's the reason you're all wearing these clothes? 386 00:15:44,989 --> 00:15:46,659 You know it. 387 00:15:46,726 --> 00:15:48,663 If my dad started this, 388 00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,366 maybe he can stop it. 389 00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:52,905 Yes, can I pay for this paisley tracksuit 390 00:15:52,972 --> 00:15:55,209 - with airline miles? - (grunts) 391 00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,619 Ooh. Ee. Ooh. 392 00:15:59,685 --> 00:16:01,856 Drop the selfie stick now. 393 00:16:01,923 --> 00:16:03,693 What about my Lookbook? 394 00:16:04,962 --> 00:16:06,566 Stop dressing your zombie friends up 395 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,935 in the clothes of the living. 396 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,439 Never! Before I discovered streetwear, 397 00:16:10,507 --> 00:16:12,945 people-- like my son-- 398 00:16:13,012 --> 00:16:15,483 treated me like a dried-up old husk. 399 00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:17,988 Well, you know what I am now? A wet husk. 400 00:16:18,055 --> 00:16:21,161 Full of juicy corn. Mmm, corn, Bart. 401 00:16:21,261 --> 00:16:24,635 You hear me? Mmm, corn. 402 00:16:24,702 --> 00:16:27,006 Orion and I made something amazing together, 403 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,844 and you're ruining it. 404 00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:30,647 (laughs) Too bad. 405 00:16:30,714 --> 00:16:34,287 'Cause we're all going to your sneaker release party. 406 00:16:35,323 --> 00:16:37,160 Just because they RSVP'd, 407 00:16:37,293 --> 00:16:39,464 doesn't mean they're actually coming. 408 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,569 Wrong. My generation 409 00:16:41,669 --> 00:16:43,740 shows up to things. 410 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,209 (gasps) 411 00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:51,388 This is horrible. My Dad told all his loser friends 412 00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:53,025 about this party. 413 00:16:53,092 --> 00:16:55,931 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 414 00:16:56,031 --> 00:16:57,935 Aah! It's my dad. 415 00:16:58,002 --> 00:16:59,772 Act like everything's fine. 416 00:16:59,872 --> 00:17:01,809 Son, I've never seen your aura 417 00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:03,947 looking less indigo. Are you okay? 418 00:17:04,014 --> 00:17:06,084 Nothing-nothing's wrong. I'm crushing it. 419 00:17:06,184 --> 00:17:08,990 I got this on lock. On lock. 420 00:17:09,057 --> 00:17:10,994 Your words have convinced me. 421 00:17:11,061 --> 00:17:13,065 The washed-up dads are gonna be here soon. 422 00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:15,269 I read about it in - The Old- - Timers Gazette: 423 00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:16,873 Facebook. 424 00:17:16,906 --> 00:17:18,175 I can't handle this. 425 00:17:18,275 --> 00:17:20,781 And my therapist is pitching his sitcom today. 426 00:17:20,814 --> 00:17:23,520 Which I'm producing. (whimpering) 427 00:17:24,487 --> 00:17:27,060 You said if I ever needed you, you'd come. 428 00:17:27,193 --> 00:17:29,932 No matter what. This is that call. 429 00:17:30,032 --> 00:17:33,707 Okie-dokie. Want me to grab you some mini carrots and hummus? 430 00:17:33,807 --> 00:17:35,510 Yes. 431 00:17:38,115 --> 00:17:39,619 Listen up, people. 432 00:17:39,719 --> 00:17:42,056 For the first time in your horrible lives, 433 00:17:42,123 --> 00:17:44,996 you are not the lamest losers in the world. 434 00:17:45,062 --> 00:17:47,033 (cheering, clamoring) 435 00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,404 So if any young person asks you what you do, 436 00:17:49,505 --> 00:17:53,345 say, "Virtual marketing for a CBD massage oil startup." 437 00:17:53,445 --> 00:17:56,653 Now everyone take two precautionary Advil 438 00:17:56,719 --> 00:17:58,757 and let's live forever! 439 00:17:59,926 --> 00:18:01,261 Homer, stop it! 440 00:18:01,328 --> 00:18:04,200 Dads, halt. Let my shorty speak. 441 00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:07,006 Homer, this isn't who you are. 442 00:18:07,106 --> 00:18:09,979 You're right-- it's better than who I am. 443 00:18:10,046 --> 00:18:12,785 This is the man I married. 444 00:18:12,851 --> 00:18:15,022 You call all deli meats baloney. 445 00:18:15,089 --> 00:18:16,826 You carry clippers on your key chain 446 00:18:16,893 --> 00:18:19,832 so you can cut your nails in line at the post office. 447 00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:22,671 You spent your stimulus check on funny bumper stickers 448 00:18:22,738 --> 00:18:25,209 about what you spent your stimulus check on. 449 00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:27,280 And since the day I first saw you 450 00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:29,417 moonwalk out of an Arby's, 451 00:18:29,552 --> 00:18:32,056 you've been comfortable in your own skin. 452 00:18:32,123 --> 00:18:34,327 Until now. 453 00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,102 (gasps) I look... 454 00:18:38,168 --> 00:18:40,072 ridiculous! 455 00:18:40,139 --> 00:18:42,778 I shouldn't be at a sneaker release party. 456 00:18:42,845 --> 00:18:44,047 I should be at home. 457 00:18:44,147 --> 00:18:47,554 Making microwave popcorn. 458 00:18:47,655 --> 00:18:50,226 My favorite show. 459 00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:52,564 We don't belong here. 460 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,167 Men our age 461 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,673 belong in here. 462 00:18:57,975 --> 00:19:00,413 The Museum of Aviation History. 463 00:19:00,479 --> 00:19:02,450 (excited chatter, laughing) 464 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,189 LENNY: Oh. 465 00:19:05,222 --> 00:19:07,828 The cross section of a real B-52. 466 00:19:07,895 --> 00:19:11,736 An IMAX movie about the golden age of ballooning. 467 00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:15,476 Audio tour by Gary Sinise. 468 00:19:15,544 --> 00:19:18,415 It worked. They took the dad-bait. 469 00:19:18,516 --> 00:19:19,952 (grunting) 470 00:19:20,019 --> 00:19:21,355 Dad. 471 00:19:21,455 --> 00:19:24,829 You did something no old person is remotely capable of. 472 00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:26,933 You changed your mind. 473 00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:29,037 I'm sorry I almost ruined everything 474 00:19:29,104 --> 00:19:31,041 for you and your friend. 475 00:19:31,141 --> 00:19:33,212 I have no business wearing skatewear. 476 00:19:33,278 --> 00:19:35,483 I don't even like to ice skate. 477 00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:37,453 (grunts) Oh. 478 00:19:37,521 --> 00:19:40,192 I never got a pair of my own shoes, and now they're sold out. 479 00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:43,767 Yo, style freaks. I got counterfeit Bart Ones. 480 00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:45,469 Genuine knockoffs. 481 00:19:45,537 --> 00:19:47,306 Your dumb friends can't tell the difference 482 00:19:47,373 --> 00:19:49,845 unless you wear 'em or you look at 'em close. 483 00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:53,586 (grunts) 484 00:19:55,524 --> 00:19:59,064 Thanks, Dad. Sometimes you are a little bit cool. 485 00:19:59,130 --> 00:20:01,969 Aw. Buy you a chicken sandwich? 486 00:20:21,374 --> 00:20:23,178 Dad, tonight was a close call. 487 00:20:23,245 --> 00:20:24,749 This party was almost not a cultural gamechanger. 488 00:20:24,815 --> 00:20:26,986 I hope you're not disappointed in me. 489 00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:28,990 Oh, you can never let me down, 490 00:20:29,090 --> 00:20:31,128 because I know exactly how you feel. 491 00:20:31,194 --> 00:20:32,865 Because you're me. 492 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,668 No, Dad. I'm not you. 493 00:20:34,769 --> 00:20:36,204 And I'll never be you. 494 00:20:36,271 --> 00:20:38,610 (chuckles) You're not hearing what I'm saying. 495 00:20:38,710 --> 00:20:39,979 You're me. 496 00:20:40,012 --> 00:20:42,417 A clone of me. Like this 497 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,692 You were created on the set of Duplicate Cop One, 498 00:20:46,759 --> 00:20:49,565 which we filmed in a real cloning lab. 499 00:20:52,538 --> 00:20:53,907 I knew I could never love a child 500 00:20:54,007 --> 00:20:57,648 as much as I love myself, so I made another me: 501 00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:58,516 you. 502 00:20:58,583 --> 00:21:01,421 But how... But I... But... What? 503 00:21:01,455 --> 00:21:03,693 Didn't you ever wonder why you don't have a mother? 504 00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:06,833 - Kind of. - Orion, our cosmic connection 505 00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:08,168 is infinitely deeper 506 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:10,272 than what a "father" feels for a "son." 507 00:21:10,372 --> 00:21:12,376 I love you, me. 508 00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:15,149 I love you, too... me. 509 00:21:15,182 --> 00:21:16,284 Mm. 510 00:21:16,384 --> 00:21:19,992 ♪ Two badges, one mind. ♪ 511 00:21:20,059 --> 00:21:23,198 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 512 00:21:23,265 --> 00:21:26,204 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 513 00:21:26,271 --> 00:21:29,010 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 514 00:21:29,077 --> 00:21:31,081 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 515 00:21:31,148 --> 00:21:33,520 Shh.