1 00:00:06,412 --> 00:00:08,483 (band playing "Mary Had a Little Lamb") 2 00:00:12,424 --> 00:00:15,197 ♪ Mary's rolling in her grave ♪ 3 00:00:15,264 --> 00:00:17,736 ♪ I'd like to join her now. ♪ 4 00:00:17,802 --> 00:00:19,138 (door opens) 5 00:00:19,205 --> 00:00:21,209 I come bearing an important communiqué. 6 00:00:21,309 --> 00:00:23,814 It's from the marching band director at Springfield High. 7 00:00:23,881 --> 00:00:26,987 Oh, did he get his swollen head stuck in a French horn? 8 00:00:27,054 --> 00:00:29,058 Uh, there's no mention of that. 9 00:00:29,158 --> 00:00:31,630 But it seems one of the band's most important musicians 10 00:00:31,730 --> 00:00:34,970 injured his middle toe doing a high step in double-time. 11 00:00:35,037 --> 00:00:38,109 - (all gasp) - That's footwork suicide! 12 00:00:38,176 --> 00:00:39,780 They need a replacement sax player, 13 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,117 and they've requested... Lisa Simpson. 14 00:00:42,218 --> 00:00:44,656 Me, in the high school band? 15 00:00:44,723 --> 00:00:47,461 Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! 16 00:00:47,562 --> 00:00:50,400 One yes would suffice. Pack your sax, Lisa, 17 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,371 you're moving up to high school. 18 00:00:52,404 --> 00:00:53,808 Three days a week after school, 19 00:00:53,874 --> 00:00:55,645 otherwise you're still in second grade. 20 00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:00,153 I finally get to play with people 21 00:01:00,220 --> 00:01:03,093 who respect music theory and tradition. 22 00:01:03,159 --> 00:01:04,830 Teenagers! 23 00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:08,370 Class, we have a new baritone sax player. 24 00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:10,107 Direct from Springfield Elementary. 25 00:01:10,207 --> 00:01:11,877 (coughing): Largo's losers. 26 00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:13,714 Hi. Hello. 27 00:01:13,781 --> 00:01:15,117 Now, if you'll turn to page 12 28 00:01:15,217 --> 00:01:17,087 in your marching band songbook. 29 00:01:17,154 --> 00:01:19,826 The theme to Hawaii Five-O?! Wow! 30 00:01:19,893 --> 00:01:22,364 Yeah, Mr. Orlando is cool. 31 00:01:22,431 --> 00:01:25,738 We do 50-year-old songs instead of 100-year-old songs. 32 00:01:26,674 --> 00:01:29,445 (band playing Hawaii Five-O theme song) 33 00:01:33,153 --> 00:01:36,392 Shauna Chalmers, thank you for joining us. 34 00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:38,396 I'm gonna call you James Corden, 35 00:01:38,496 --> 00:01:40,501 because you're a late, late show. 36 00:01:40,602 --> 00:01:42,237 (laughter) 37 00:01:42,338 --> 00:01:44,475 He totally relates to us on our level. 38 00:01:44,576 --> 00:01:45,612 Mm. 39 00:01:45,712 --> 00:01:47,549 - Burnout. - Waste case. 40 00:01:47,616 --> 00:01:48,985 Third-chair slacker. 41 00:01:49,051 --> 00:01:50,922 Shut up, woodwinds. 42 00:01:51,022 --> 00:01:52,324 Okay, from the top. 43 00:01:52,391 --> 00:01:55,263 (band playing Hawaii Five-O theme song) 44 00:01:58,638 --> 00:01:59,706 Okay, cut. 45 00:01:59,806 --> 00:02:02,111 Apparently Supertramp isn't giving us the rights 46 00:02:02,177 --> 00:02:04,015 to "Goodbye Stranger." 47 00:02:04,081 --> 00:02:05,852 (students protesting) 48 00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,524 No... 49 00:02:09,693 --> 00:02:12,632 Shauna! I didn't know you played drums. 50 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:16,306 And I didn't know some tiny band dork was gonna talk to me. 51 00:02:16,372 --> 00:02:18,544 It's me, Lisa Simpson? 52 00:02:18,611 --> 00:02:20,080 You babysat for us. 53 00:02:20,180 --> 00:02:21,750 Last Saturday night. 54 00:02:21,884 --> 00:02:23,219 TikTok is dumb. 55 00:02:23,286 --> 00:02:26,059 Well, anyway, your drumming's really good. 56 00:02:26,125 --> 00:02:27,461 Wow. 57 00:02:27,595 --> 00:02:30,334 Dear diary, today I got a compliment 58 00:02:30,434 --> 00:02:33,974 from a rando about something I don't care about. 59 00:02:34,041 --> 00:02:36,112 (gasps) I have a diary, too! 60 00:02:36,179 --> 00:02:38,517 (exhales) Oh. 61 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:39,686 (moans softly) 62 00:02:40,722 --> 00:02:44,095 People were playing eighth notes like it was nothing. 63 00:02:44,195 --> 00:02:46,633 Band kids are the coolest kids in high school. 64 00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:49,606 No fair. Lisa gets to go to high school? 65 00:02:49,706 --> 00:02:51,342 I was supposed to be King of the Burnouts 66 00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:52,779 before she even got there. 67 00:02:52,846 --> 00:02:55,317 Well, son, I guess Lisa's just unusually bright. 68 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:58,791 She gets it from me. (shouts) 69 00:02:58,858 --> 00:03:00,260 Oh, no, no, no, no, no! 70 00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:02,297 I left all my sheet music at school. 71 00:03:02,364 --> 00:03:04,669 I have to go get it. 72 00:03:06,439 --> 00:03:08,410 Ah... 73 00:03:13,554 --> 00:03:14,856 Hmm? 74 00:03:14,923 --> 00:03:17,394 (drums playing) 75 00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:20,868 - Shauna! - I'm Shauna! 76 00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:23,006 Did you stay late to practice? 77 00:03:23,073 --> 00:03:24,943 No way. As if. 78 00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:27,281 You're practicing. Being stupid. 79 00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:29,920 You don't need to. You're great at it. 80 00:03:29,986 --> 00:03:31,957 I'm jealous. 81 00:03:33,093 --> 00:03:35,932 Shauna, we share a passion for music. 82 00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:38,169 (gasps) Do you want to jam? 83 00:03:38,269 --> 00:03:40,340 Yeah, jam this stick in my eye 84 00:03:40,373 --> 00:03:42,679 if this conversation goes on another second. 85 00:03:42,746 --> 00:03:43,681 Gah. 86 00:03:43,814 --> 00:03:46,085 Fine! But I'm not afraid to admit that music 87 00:03:46,152 --> 00:03:48,591 means something to me, unlike you. 88 00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:51,530 (imitating Shauna): You're Shauna. 89 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:54,903 Hey! 90 00:03:54,936 --> 00:03:56,907 I'm sorry if I was mean back there... 91 00:03:57,007 --> 00:03:58,376 little weirdo. 92 00:03:58,476 --> 00:04:00,013 I really don't know how to take that. 93 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,519 Well, maybe we can talk about it tomorrow at my house... 94 00:04:02,585 --> 00:04:04,890 when you come over to jam. 95 00:04:04,923 --> 00:04:06,159 (gasps) I'd love to! 96 00:04:06,259 --> 00:04:07,762 Where do you live? 97 00:04:07,829 --> 00:04:09,165 Okay, stalker. 98 00:04:09,298 --> 00:04:11,002 (groans) 99 00:04:14,743 --> 00:04:16,513 Oh, hello, Lisa Simpson. 100 00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:18,483 And how are you this fine evening? 101 00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:22,191 Dad, stop interrogating people, you fascist! 102 00:04:22,257 --> 00:04:23,527 Hmm. 103 00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:27,434 Wow, you're really rude to your dad. 104 00:04:27,502 --> 00:04:30,240 Thanks. That's actually the reason I got into drums. 105 00:04:30,307 --> 00:04:32,579 To drive him crazy. 106 00:04:32,645 --> 00:04:33,781 But then I... 107 00:04:33,848 --> 00:04:36,018 Turns out, I really like playing music. 108 00:04:36,085 --> 00:04:38,089 It takes the suck out of things. 109 00:04:38,156 --> 00:04:40,293 It does take the suck out of things. 110 00:04:40,393 --> 00:04:42,832 (gasps) I just said a light swear. 111 00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:45,237 - (both laugh) - (knocking) 112 00:04:45,303 --> 00:04:47,341 Well, sounds like you girls are having fun. 113 00:04:47,407 --> 00:04:48,844 How would you know?! 114 00:04:48,911 --> 00:04:50,548 (sighs) Yes. Well, uh, 115 00:04:50,615 --> 00:04:52,519 dinner's almost ready, dear. 116 00:04:52,619 --> 00:04:54,656 Lisa and I are eating at the mall. 117 00:04:54,723 --> 00:04:57,394 I've been hand-rolling gnocchi all day. 118 00:04:57,494 --> 00:04:59,365 Stop touching my food. 119 00:04:59,431 --> 00:05:01,402 Food-toucher. 120 00:05:03,106 --> 00:05:05,511 Look at all this science stuff. 121 00:05:05,578 --> 00:05:07,181 Are you building a Frankenstein? 122 00:05:07,247 --> 00:05:08,818 'Cause if you are, you have to tell me. 123 00:05:08,884 --> 00:05:11,523 Ah, yes. Uh, you're here to pick up Lisa. 124 00:05:11,590 --> 00:05:14,863 She's at the mall with my, uh, challenging daughter. 125 00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:18,403 Eh, tell me something, Simpson, do you like beer? 126 00:05:18,469 --> 00:05:20,975 Hmm, I never thought about it. 127 00:05:21,075 --> 00:05:23,079 (glugging) 128 00:05:24,481 --> 00:05:27,054 Well, I've been brewing my own Belgian ale 129 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,225 in the style of the Trappist monks. 130 00:05:29,291 --> 00:05:31,195 It's a, it's a stupid hobby really. 131 00:05:31,262 --> 00:05:32,966 (laughs) That is stupid. 132 00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:34,468 I buy my beer in a bar. 133 00:05:34,536 --> 00:05:36,138 I-I'm sure you do. 134 00:05:36,239 --> 00:05:38,042 But, uh, just take a sip. 135 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:43,621 (choir singing) 136 00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:48,363 This is the most delicious drink 137 00:05:48,463 --> 00:05:51,269 I ever drank that could get me drunk. 138 00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:52,572 You made this? 139 00:05:52,639 --> 00:05:54,509 Yes, I did. If you'd like, 140 00:05:54,609 --> 00:05:58,016 I could show you how to brew it using these simple ingredients. 141 00:05:58,082 --> 00:06:00,888 Beer has ingredients? 142 00:06:00,988 --> 00:06:02,559 What the hell? 143 00:06:03,794 --> 00:06:05,063 (glugging) 144 00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:06,934 You have so much to teach me. 145 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,938 (burps) 146 00:06:10,508 --> 00:06:12,912 Okay, worked there, got fired there. 147 00:06:13,012 --> 00:06:15,751 Got unfairly accused of shoplifting there. 148 00:06:15,818 --> 00:06:18,991 Oh, shoplifted a ton of stuff there. 149 00:06:19,091 --> 00:06:21,095 Wow, you've really lived. 150 00:06:21,195 --> 00:06:22,899 In this end of the mall, sure. 151 00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:24,435 Cool! 152 00:06:24,502 --> 00:06:26,072 A selfie machine. 153 00:06:26,172 --> 00:06:28,744 (camera clicking) 154 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,619 Ooh, A Prom Before Dying. 155 00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:35,056 I read that book. It's about two teenagers 156 00:06:35,123 --> 00:06:39,131 who fall in love despite only having 45 minutes to live. 157 00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:40,701 Sounds stupid. 158 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,406 Let's go see it. It's on me. 159 00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:46,312 LISA: Shauna's so great. She's like a fun, older friend 160 00:06:46,412 --> 00:06:48,784 who's mean to me for no reason. 161 00:06:48,817 --> 00:06:51,289 But somehow I really want to hang out with her. 162 00:06:51,422 --> 00:06:54,028 What do you call that? 163 00:06:54,128 --> 00:06:56,232 Um, she seems young for a movie 164 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,403 with adult themes. 165 00:06:58,469 --> 00:07:00,240 You have to let her in. 166 00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:01,843 I'm her big sister. 167 00:07:01,977 --> 00:07:04,849 LISA: (gasps) That's it-- big sister! 168 00:07:04,983 --> 00:07:08,389 Now let's go watch teenage sickos make out, then croak... 169 00:07:08,456 --> 00:07:10,962 - little sis. - (giggles) 170 00:07:17,140 --> 00:07:18,944 (smooth jazz music playing) 171 00:07:36,613 --> 00:07:39,218 ♪ Shauna, two, three, four ♪ 172 00:07:39,318 --> 00:07:41,355 ♪ Is my new three, four ♪ 173 00:07:41,422 --> 00:07:44,696 ♪ Super awesome, three, four, sister! ♪ 174 00:07:48,704 --> 00:07:51,175 You've made a very fussy enemy. 175 00:07:51,242 --> 00:07:53,046 Well... later, losers! 176 00:07:53,146 --> 00:07:56,252 That's what Shauna and I call people who aren't us. 177 00:07:56,319 --> 00:07:58,489 Isn't that cute? 178 00:07:58,557 --> 00:07:59,726 HOMER: Hmm. 179 00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:02,699 Hmm, I'm not sure Shauna's the best influence. 180 00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:05,370 She always seems like she's so over it. 181 00:08:05,437 --> 00:08:07,775 Even when "it" is something nice. 182 00:08:07,842 --> 00:08:10,748 Yep, teens are garbage. (chuckles) 183 00:08:10,815 --> 00:08:12,652 Anyway, I'm off to 'Mers. 184 00:08:12,719 --> 00:08:14,421 Don't you mean Moe's? 185 00:08:14,522 --> 00:08:16,125 No, Chalmers. 186 00:08:16,225 --> 00:08:19,566 Now there's a different sad, old man getting me drunk. 187 00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:23,306 ♪ Before we commence a new batch ♪ 188 00:08:23,406 --> 00:08:25,578 ♪ Let us chug deep the last ♪ 189 00:08:25,644 --> 00:08:28,951 ♪ Of the old. ♪ 190 00:08:32,525 --> 00:08:34,763 (harmonic burping) 191 00:08:39,138 --> 00:08:40,440 Oh, man. 192 00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:42,779 Art thou as hammered as I? 193 00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:45,785 Yes, verily, but, Homer, Trappist brewing 194 00:08:45,851 --> 00:08:48,757 is about more than just drinking the beer. 195 00:08:48,857 --> 00:08:51,563 It's about the traditions of the Belgian monks 196 00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:54,468 who created this divine quaff. 197 00:08:54,569 --> 00:08:57,107 (festive music playing) 198 00:09:02,518 --> 00:09:03,887 (retching) 199 00:09:03,954 --> 00:09:06,258 See, that's what I like about home brewing. 200 00:09:06,358 --> 00:09:09,566 You're there when it enters the world, so full of promise. 201 00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:12,538 And you know that if you pour your heart and hard work 202 00:09:12,605 --> 00:09:15,343 into it, it won't tell you it's pregnant 203 00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:17,080 just to mess with you. 204 00:09:18,216 --> 00:09:20,453 Simpson! 205 00:09:20,554 --> 00:09:22,491 - Hmm? - I think it's time for you 206 00:09:22,592 --> 00:09:25,296 to brew this next batch on your own. 207 00:09:25,363 --> 00:09:26,967 You think I'm ready? 208 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,875 Oh, I sense great drunkenness in you. 209 00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:32,110 ♪ ♪ 210 00:09:32,210 --> 00:09:36,252 Mm. I didn't think he'd transform on page one, 211 00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:38,724 but I'm not complaining. 212 00:09:38,757 --> 00:09:41,095 (playing DJ Kool's "Let Me Clear My Throat") 213 00:09:41,195 --> 00:09:43,199 My horror-romance! 214 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,352 Messing with parents is the best. 215 00:09:57,762 --> 00:10:00,099 Wow, Shauna, you're so good! 216 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:03,607 I've been thinking, you should try out for lead drummer. 217 00:10:03,740 --> 00:10:05,443 They would never give that to me. 218 00:10:05,511 --> 00:10:08,349 Even if I wanted it, which I don't. 219 00:10:08,449 --> 00:10:10,386 Why won't you shut up about this? 220 00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:12,658 Mmm, these Cheetos are cheesy. 221 00:10:12,758 --> 00:10:14,829 Shauna, listen, the last thing I'd ever do 222 00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:18,269 is imply that you care, but I think you're a star. 223 00:10:18,369 --> 00:10:20,774 And stars are meant to shine. 224 00:10:20,808 --> 00:10:22,745 So if you won't do this for yourself, 225 00:10:22,812 --> 00:10:24,549 will you do it for me? 226 00:10:24,649 --> 00:10:26,853 Uh... 227 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,191 I think I have cheese dust in my eyes. 228 00:10:29,291 --> 00:10:31,095 Fine, I'll do the audition. 229 00:10:31,162 --> 00:10:33,065 But only to shut you up. 230 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,034 Yes! 231 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,472 Mind if I celebrate with a sax solo? 232 00:10:36,506 --> 00:10:38,644 Oh, that'd be great. 233 00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:41,282 (chuckles) Sarcasm noted. 234 00:10:41,348 --> 00:10:44,154 ♪ ♪ 235 00:10:50,701 --> 00:10:52,304 Huzzah, big brother! 236 00:10:52,404 --> 00:10:54,041 Thank you, petit frère. 237 00:10:54,107 --> 00:10:55,911 (both giggling) 238 00:10:55,945 --> 00:10:59,151 Next audition... Shauna Chalmers?! 239 00:10:59,251 --> 00:11:00,554 I am so out of here. 240 00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:01,890 Mm. 241 00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:07,334 (inhales, exhales) 242 00:11:21,328 --> 00:11:23,432 (crying) 243 00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:29,144 (crowd cheering) 244 00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:30,748 (giggling) 245 00:11:33,419 --> 00:11:34,856 ♪ ♪ 246 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:42,337 ALL: Shauna! 247 00:11:42,470 --> 00:11:44,308 (cheering) 248 00:11:44,408 --> 00:11:46,412 Shauna, that was great! 249 00:11:46,478 --> 00:11:49,519 (whispers): I won't tell anyone how hard you practiced. 250 00:11:49,619 --> 00:11:50,788 Like I care. 251 00:11:50,854 --> 00:11:52,057 (whispers): Thanks. 252 00:11:52,157 --> 00:11:55,163 Um, Shauna, I'm sorry to bother you, 253 00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:57,400 but I'm Trevor McBride, star quarterback. 254 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,505 Cool bio, Jock Cousteau. 255 00:11:59,539 --> 00:12:00,774 What do you want? 256 00:12:00,908 --> 00:12:02,712 Well, um, I couldn't help but noticing 257 00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:05,316 that you blew my mind tonight with your drumming. 258 00:12:05,416 --> 00:12:07,655 I'm having a pool party at my house tomorrow. 259 00:12:07,788 --> 00:12:09,324 - Do you want to come? - Mm. 260 00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,630 Of course, your band friends are invited, too. 261 00:12:11,763 --> 00:12:13,834 Sure. I guess. 262 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,971 "Sure" and "I guess"? 263 00:12:16,071 --> 00:12:17,340 Crushing it! 264 00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:18,744 I don't know. I've never been 265 00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:20,648 to a teen party before. 266 00:12:20,748 --> 00:12:22,785 Don't worry, you'll be with your big sis. 267 00:12:22,852 --> 00:12:25,490 Whatevs, it's all good, NBD. 268 00:12:25,557 --> 00:12:28,530 What am I saying? It's a huge BD! 269 00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:30,701 - (giggles) - Oh, I forgot to mention. 270 00:12:30,768 --> 00:12:32,905 Everyone has to bring a beer to get in. 271 00:12:33,005 --> 00:12:36,178 Huh, I think I have a hookup for some brews. 272 00:12:36,278 --> 00:12:38,784 Hmm. Warm caramel color, 273 00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,754 the foam is immaculately bubbled. 274 00:12:40,821 --> 00:12:43,292 Beautifully brewed, Brother Homer. 275 00:12:43,392 --> 00:12:44,461 ♪ ♪ 276 00:12:44,529 --> 00:12:46,465 Today, you have truly become 277 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,004 my padre from another madre. 278 00:12:49,071 --> 00:12:50,340 (chuckles) 279 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:54,381 I wish only to be worthy of our humble labels. 280 00:12:55,450 --> 00:12:57,688 - (both chuckle) - SHAUNA: Daddy? 281 00:12:57,755 --> 00:12:59,559 I know I've been kind of a B-word lately. 282 00:12:59,626 --> 00:13:02,598 That stands for Brenda. She's this total bitch I know. 283 00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,869 So Lisa and I want to apologize by, like, 284 00:13:04,936 --> 00:13:06,773 putting on a little show for you. 285 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,478 Shauna, that is so thoughtful and-and... 286 00:13:09,579 --> 00:13:11,081 Just shut up and come in the house! 287 00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:13,620 You're so embarrassing! Both of you! 288 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,891 BOTH: Sorry, Shauna. 289 00:13:24,742 --> 00:13:25,678 (tires screech) 290 00:13:25,744 --> 00:13:27,515 Awesome! This beer is exactly 291 00:13:27,581 --> 00:13:29,318 where the chick said it would be. 292 00:13:29,384 --> 00:13:30,721 Her name is Shauna! 293 00:13:30,854 --> 00:13:32,424 Learn three things about her that don't have 294 00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:34,996 to do with her looks, or you're off the team! 295 00:13:35,063 --> 00:13:37,267 (playing jazz music) 296 00:13:40,306 --> 00:13:43,613 Wonderful. Shauna and I are finally connecting. 297 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,651 We're just like the Gilmore Girls. 298 00:13:45,751 --> 00:13:47,955 (chuckles) And I'm Lorelai. 299 00:13:48,022 --> 00:13:51,095 (whispers): I'm so happy for you. 300 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,134 (clicks) 301 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,643 ♪ ♪ 302 00:13:58,710 --> 00:14:00,714 What? 303 00:14:00,781 --> 00:14:02,852 - Bravissima! Yes! - Yeah! (whooping) 304 00:14:02,918 --> 00:14:05,156 - Wonderful, wonderful! - Yeah! All right! 305 00:14:11,669 --> 00:14:14,041 Welcome to the pool party, ladies. 306 00:14:14,107 --> 00:14:15,577 We've got pizza, burgers-- 307 00:14:15,644 --> 00:14:17,247 possible and Impossible-- 308 00:14:17,313 --> 00:14:19,852 and hella soda, courtesy of my parents. 309 00:14:19,919 --> 00:14:21,823 BOTH: Love you, T-Man! 310 00:14:21,923 --> 00:14:23,927 (lively chatter) 311 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,031 Oh, my God! 312 00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:27,902 It's a little girl with a saxophone. 313 00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,505 So cute. 314 00:14:29,572 --> 00:14:31,509 Play us a song, Saxophone Girl. 315 00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,245 Okay, sure. 316 00:14:33,345 --> 00:14:35,016 ♪ ♪ 317 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,886 I don't care what people say. 318 00:14:36,986 --> 00:14:39,892 I just think music is one of the coolest sounds out there. 319 00:14:39,992 --> 00:14:41,596 Want to kiss about it? 320 00:14:41,629 --> 00:14:43,466 Duh. 321 00:14:44,836 --> 00:14:46,338 Trev, 322 00:14:46,371 --> 00:14:48,577 Mom and I are going to one of those fun escape rooms 323 00:14:48,643 --> 00:14:49,912 in another city. 324 00:14:49,979 --> 00:14:51,482 Is it okay with you that we won't 325 00:14:51,549 --> 00:14:52,952 be back for seven hours? 326 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,089 Oh, don't worry about them, Brian. 327 00:14:55,189 --> 00:14:56,458 It's almost nightfall. 328 00:14:56,526 --> 00:14:59,197 That's when teen pizza parties generally break up. 329 00:14:59,297 --> 00:15:00,734 Bye. 330 00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:02,003 (engine starts) 331 00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:03,707 Well, party's over. 332 00:15:03,807 --> 00:15:06,412 Now let's make two separate recycling piles. 333 00:15:06,513 --> 00:15:08,282 JOHNNY JOE: The beer... 334 00:15:08,382 --> 00:15:09,952 is here! 335 00:15:10,052 --> 00:15:12,257 (all cheering, clamoring) 336 00:15:13,927 --> 00:15:15,964 (electronic dance music playing) 337 00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:24,481 Uh, this is like one of those TV shows 338 00:15:24,582 --> 00:15:26,619 I'm not supposed to watch. 339 00:15:29,992 --> 00:15:31,996 - Our beer, someone stole it! - (Homer gasps) 340 00:15:32,096 --> 00:15:34,902 But I brewed that with the malt of my loins. 341 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:36,706 (crying) 342 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,643 Oh, God, please don't let Shauna have 343 00:15:38,710 --> 00:15:39,979 anything to do with this. 344 00:15:40,046 --> 00:15:41,616 I'm gonna check her social media. 345 00:15:41,716 --> 00:15:43,452 She lets you follow her? 346 00:15:43,553 --> 00:15:44,589 Of course not. 347 00:15:44,722 --> 00:15:46,458 I follow her as "Rodrigo," 348 00:15:46,559 --> 00:15:49,164 a goth teen from Argentina. 349 00:15:49,231 --> 00:15:50,133 Mm. 350 00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:52,571 Oh, dear God, that so-called pool party 351 00:15:52,638 --> 00:15:55,176 is a bona fide rager! 352 00:15:55,276 --> 00:15:56,345 (gasps) 353 00:15:56,411 --> 00:15:59,886 Our homebrewed beer is inebriating these minors. 354 00:15:59,986 --> 00:16:01,523 We have to go save them. 355 00:16:01,556 --> 00:16:04,161 The beers I mean, from those awful teens! 356 00:16:04,261 --> 00:16:07,400 Excuse me, have you seen Shauna? 357 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,004 Big sister? 358 00:16:09,104 --> 00:16:11,375 Cool, it's a metal beer bong. 359 00:16:11,475 --> 00:16:13,647 Thanks. 360 00:16:13,713 --> 00:16:15,082 (gasps) 361 00:16:15,884 --> 00:16:17,453 (glugging) 362 00:16:17,555 --> 00:16:19,424 (wails) 363 00:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,028 Hello, emergency? 364 00:16:21,128 --> 00:16:23,499 I'd like to report the abandonment of a minor. 365 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,403 The minor is me! (sobbing) 366 00:16:25,504 --> 00:16:28,375 Hurry, this party is out of control! 367 00:16:28,475 --> 00:16:29,645 What are you doing? 368 00:16:29,712 --> 00:16:32,818 Did you just narc out the party, you party narc? 369 00:16:32,918 --> 00:16:34,120 Where were you?! 370 00:16:34,187 --> 00:16:36,291 I was with Trevor, getting some. 371 00:16:36,358 --> 00:16:38,797 - Some what? - Some smooches. 372 00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:40,601 - Duh! - Your turn. 373 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,505 You give me that! 374 00:16:42,571 --> 00:16:44,441 Oh, no, this is terrible. 375 00:16:44,509 --> 00:16:47,080 Homer, we need to get every one of those bottles, 376 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,585 or my superintending days are over. 377 00:16:49,619 --> 00:16:51,623 (Homer whimpering) 378 00:16:54,929 --> 00:16:56,833 You abandoned me. 379 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,469 And I was really scared. 380 00:16:58,570 --> 00:17:02,010 I thought big sisters were supposed to take care of you. 381 00:17:02,076 --> 00:17:04,214 And I thought little sisters weren't supposed 382 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,653 to be stupid, snitchy babies. 383 00:17:06,753 --> 00:17:09,391 I am not a stupid, snitchy baby! 384 00:17:09,491 --> 00:17:11,829 (crying) 385 00:17:11,896 --> 00:17:13,198 - (lively chatter) - ♪ ♪ 386 00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,936 It's worse than we thought, Chief. 387 00:17:15,036 --> 00:17:16,606 This party's not just epic. 388 00:17:16,673 --> 00:17:18,175 It's legendary. 389 00:17:18,309 --> 00:17:21,481 Now, who could have given these teens so much beer? 390 00:17:21,549 --> 00:17:23,753 Uh, good evening, Your Eminences. 391 00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:25,156 May God be with you. 392 00:17:25,223 --> 00:17:27,160 Chief, those are no monks! 393 00:17:27,227 --> 00:17:29,799 - (Wiggum gasps) - (both clamoring) 394 00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:31,703 You two are under arrest 395 00:17:31,803 --> 00:17:33,405 for subjecting these kids 396 00:17:33,472 --> 00:17:35,844 to the best night of their lives. 397 00:17:35,978 --> 00:17:38,082 Well, there goes my career and my pension. 398 00:17:38,148 --> 00:17:40,754 Oh, and also I'm going to prison. 399 00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:43,092 (laughing) 400 00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:46,298 - (Homer whimpers) - LOU: Chief? 401 00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:48,269 I just breathalyzed all these teens. 402 00:17:48,369 --> 00:17:50,607 They're all blowing 0.0. 403 00:17:50,707 --> 00:17:52,945 Dear God, they're already dead! 404 00:17:52,978 --> 00:17:55,784 This beer contains no alcohol. 405 00:17:57,153 --> 00:17:59,124 Simpson, you-you glorious idiot. 406 00:17:59,224 --> 00:18:00,961 You forgot to add the yeast. 407 00:18:01,028 --> 00:18:02,196 What forgot the who? 408 00:18:02,297 --> 00:18:04,802 No fermentation means no intoxication. 409 00:18:04,869 --> 00:18:06,873 Mwah! Your incompetence 410 00:18:06,973 --> 00:18:08,977 just saved our cowls. 411 00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:11,649 Attention teens, you are not drunk. 412 00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,352 Repeat-- not drunk. 413 00:18:13,419 --> 00:18:16,024 Please examine your outrageous behavior 414 00:18:16,091 --> 00:18:18,730 through a lens of newfound self-awareness. 415 00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:21,468 Please use this experience 416 00:18:21,536 --> 00:18:24,207 to better understand the pressures you're all under, 417 00:18:24,274 --> 00:18:27,046 and have more compassion for your friends, 418 00:18:27,146 --> 00:18:29,752 teachers, parents, and most of all, 419 00:18:29,852 --> 00:18:32,056 yourselves. Over. 420 00:18:32,123 --> 00:18:34,895 You bungling brewmasters are free to go. 421 00:18:34,962 --> 00:18:36,298 My career. 422 00:18:36,431 --> 00:18:38,770 It's saved. (laughing) 423 00:18:38,870 --> 00:18:40,006 Yes. 424 00:18:40,106 --> 00:18:43,379 Whoa, Rodrigo from Instagram is crying 425 00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:45,282 at our party! 426 00:18:45,349 --> 00:18:47,588 Let's comfort him. 427 00:18:47,655 --> 00:18:48,990 (crying) 428 00:18:49,057 --> 00:18:50,894 All right, yeah... (chuckles) 429 00:18:50,961 --> 00:18:53,365 Yes, all right. 430 00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,506 Sweetie, what are you doing at a teenager party? 431 00:18:56,572 --> 00:18:58,042 Shauna brought me! 432 00:18:58,108 --> 00:19:00,714 But I never want to see her stupid face again! 433 00:19:00,781 --> 00:19:02,150 (crying) 434 00:19:02,216 --> 00:19:03,687 - Dad... - Mm. 435 00:19:03,753 --> 00:19:05,289 MARGE: Oh, Lisa. 436 00:19:05,389 --> 00:19:07,193 It's been a week now. 437 00:19:07,226 --> 00:19:09,230 Are you still upset about Shauna? 438 00:19:09,297 --> 00:19:12,070 I really did think of her like a sister. 439 00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:15,142 Well, you still have your real sister. 440 00:19:16,244 --> 00:19:18,482 - Hmm? - (Maggie giggling) 441 00:19:21,121 --> 00:19:23,058 Well, your father and I are headed out. 442 00:19:23,158 --> 00:19:25,129 We're gonna spend some Mommy-Daddy time. 443 00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:27,367 Marge, did you get the hotel room? 444 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:30,707 Because I got the chants and the incense. 445 00:19:30,774 --> 00:19:32,711 Ave Maria. 446 00:19:32,778 --> 00:19:34,047 (doorbell rings) 447 00:19:34,147 --> 00:19:36,084 That must be the babysitter. 448 00:19:36,151 --> 00:19:37,654 Hmm? 449 00:19:38,656 --> 00:19:40,359 Oh, hello. 450 00:19:40,393 --> 00:19:42,330 You look... well. 451 00:19:42,397 --> 00:19:44,167 Thanks. I thought I might see you here 452 00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:46,806 at the house you live in. 453 00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:49,745 What's going on here? 454 00:19:49,812 --> 00:19:52,083 Well, whatever it is, the awkwardness is... 455 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,653 (smooches) ...delicious. 456 00:19:53,753 --> 00:19:55,891 (laughs) 457 00:19:55,991 --> 00:19:58,262 So, how's the marching band? 458 00:19:58,362 --> 00:20:00,199 I can't believe they made me quit 459 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:01,903 when that kid's toe healed. 460 00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:03,840 I hate Western medicine. 461 00:20:03,907 --> 00:20:05,376 Oh, I quit, too. 462 00:20:05,443 --> 00:20:08,282 I started a punk band, where I'm the drummer and the singer. 463 00:20:08,382 --> 00:20:10,219 Just like Phil Collins! 464 00:20:10,286 --> 00:20:11,689 Okay, got to go. 465 00:20:11,756 --> 00:20:14,060 We're called Brenda and the B-words. 466 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,897 I never would have done it without all that 467 00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:17,968 stupid confidence you gave me. 468 00:20:18,102 --> 00:20:20,406 Wow, that's actually really nice to hear. 469 00:20:20,473 --> 00:20:22,511 Shut up, it wasn't meant to be. 470 00:20:22,611 --> 00:20:24,280 Anyway, I brought my drums. 471 00:20:24,314 --> 00:20:25,784 You want to jam? 472 00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:27,153 I'd like that. 473 00:20:27,220 --> 00:20:29,124 Oh, dear God, no. 474 00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:30,894 ♪ ♪ 475 00:20:34,769 --> 00:20:36,773 Aah! (grunts) 476 00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:52,303 ("You Can Count on Me" by Sammy Davis playing) 477 00:20:54,007 --> 00:20:56,813 ♪ If you get in trouble ♪ 478 00:20:56,879 --> 00:20:59,284 ♪ Bring it home to me ♪ 479 00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:02,423 ♪ Whether I am near you ♪ 480 00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:06,231 ♪ Or across the sea ♪ 481 00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:09,605 ♪ I will think of something to do ♪ 482 00:21:09,705 --> 00:21:12,276 ♪ I'll be on the lookout for you ♪ 483 00:21:12,376 --> 00:21:14,047 ♪ And I'll find you ♪ 484 00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,853 ♪ You can count on me ♪ 485 00:21:16,919 --> 00:21:20,760 ♪ You can count on, you can count on ♪ 486 00:21:20,827 --> 00:21:23,031 ♪ You can count on ♪ 487 00:21:23,098 --> 00:21:24,467 ♪ Count on me. ♪ 488 00:21:24,535 --> 00:21:26,037 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 489 00:21:26,138 --> 00:21:27,373 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 490 00:21:27,473 --> 00:21:28,910 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 491 00:21:29,945 --> 00:21:31,616 Shh! 492 00:21:33,686 --> 00:21:35,924 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org