1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:03,878 {\an8}♪♪ ("Funeral March of a Marionette") 2 00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:11,636 Good evening. 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,013 I've been asked to tell you 4 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,807 that the following show is very scary 5 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:18,435 with stuff that might give your kids nightmares. 6 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:21,354 You see, there are some crybabies out there, 7 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:24,691 religious types mostly, who might be offended. 8 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,234 If you are one of them, 9 00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:29,154 I advise you to turn off your set now. 10 00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:30,822 Come on, I dare you. 11 00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:33,450 (clucking) 12 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,452 Chicken. 13 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,162 Hey! 14 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,788 (footsteps) 15 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:42,876 MARGE: Homer, did you just call everyone chicken? 16 00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:45,879 HOMER: No. I swear on this bible. 17 00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:49,090 MARGE: That's not a bible. That's a book of carpet samples. 18 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,217 HOMER: Ooh, fuzzy. 19 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:53,845 (thunder crashes) 20 00:00:57,932 --> 00:00:59,809 (deep cackling) 21 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,835 {\an8}(background chatter) 22 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,633 {\an8}Behold mighty Caesar. 23 00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:33,843 {\an8}In all his glory. 24 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,513 {\an8}-(all laughing) -Hah-hah! 25 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:37,472 {\an8}D'oh! 26 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:43,436 {\an8}I am Calliope, the muse of heroic poetry. 27 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,396 {\an8}No kidding? 28 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,108 {\an8}(gasping) 29 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,567 {\an8}(British accent) Stupid party. 30 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,152 {\an8}Wish we was trick-or-treating. 31 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,613 {\an8}Now Bart, you can find just as much horror 32 00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:54,989 {\an8}around the house. 33 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:56,616 {\an8}Now, you children may not know it, 34 00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:59,244 {\an8}but there was once an evil witch, 35 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:02,455 {\an8}and she died a horrible death. 36 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:06,209 These are her eyes... 37 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,962 {\an8}Eww! 38 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:10,797 And this is her hair... 39 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,800 Eww! 40 00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:17,011 And these are her brains. 41 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,680 {\an8}Eww. 42 00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:21,766 Yo, Mom, we haven't got the eyeballs yet. 43 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,643 MARGE: Homer, you're ruining it. 44 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:26,229 Yeah, well, it was an evil game. 45 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,607 Well, now we need another Halloween activity. 46 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,235 Hmm, does anyone know a ghost story? 47 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:35,113 I do, it's the story of a boy and his doll. 48 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:36,698 That's not so scary. 49 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:39,367 A doll from hell! 50 00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,035 I'm gonna go to the store. 51 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,537 (evil cackling) 52 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:50,086 ABRAHAM: Happy birthday, Bart. 53 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,255 Thanks, Grampa. 54 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:53,798 Where did you get all the money? 55 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,592 The government. I didn't earn it. 56 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,051 I don't need it, 57 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,595 but if they miss one payment, 58 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,680 I'll raise hell. 59 00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,807 Hey, Homer, where's your present? 60 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,852 D'oh! I mean, don't worry, son. 61 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:08,521 I forgot to get you a present, 62 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,815 but I swear on my father's grave... 63 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,693 -Hey! -I will get you one now. 64 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,904 -(door slams) -(tires screech) 65 00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:22,785 Do you sell toys? 66 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,455 We sell forbidden objects from places 67 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,123 men fear to tread. 68 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,376 We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call frogurt. 69 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,712 Well, I need something for my son's birthday. 70 00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:35,089 Perhaps this will please the gentleman. 71 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:38,801 (heart beating) 72 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,639 Take this object. 73 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,558 But beware, it carries a terrible curse. 74 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,310 Oh, that's bad. 75 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,145 But it comes with a free frogurt. 76 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,315 -That's good. -The frogurt is also cursed. 77 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:55,401 -That's bad. -But you get your choice of topping. 78 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:57,153 -That's good. -The toppings contain 79 00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,865 potassium benzoate. 80 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,076 -That's bad. -Can I go now? 81 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,745 (kids clamoring) 82 00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,622 Happy birthday, son. 83 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,459 Great Caesar's ghost! 84 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,044 A talking Krusty doll! 85 00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:16,339 I'm Krusty the Clown, 86 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,508 and I love you very much. 87 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:22,929 Oh, Dad, this is the best birthday I've ever had. 88 00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,931 That doll is evil, I tells you. 89 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:29,310 Evil. Evil! 90 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,771 Grampa, you said that about all the presents. 91 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:34,190 I just want attention. 92 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,485 BROCKMAN: And in environmental news, scientists have announced 93 00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:39,737 that Springfield's air is now only dangerous 94 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,864 to children and the elderly. 95 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,574 Whoo-hoo! 96 00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:47,870 I'm Krusty the Clown, and I don't like you. 97 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,206 (laughing) 98 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,917 I'm Krusty the Clown, and I'm going to kill you. 99 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:56,129 (chuckles) Didn't even pull the string that time. 100 00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,922 I said I'm going to kill you. 101 00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,590 You, Homer Simpson. 102 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,759 Oh, yeah? With what? 103 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,136 Hah! 104 00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:04,470 (screaming) 105 00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:08,141 Homer, what's wrong? 106 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:10,935 That doll tried to kill me. 107 00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:13,187 I'd say that the pressure's finally gotten to Dad, 108 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,273 but what pressure? 109 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:17,275 Don't leave me alone with him. 110 00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:21,195 (laughing maniacally) 111 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,613 (laughing stops) 112 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:26,784 (laughing resumes) 113 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,540 ♪ My bologna has a first name ♪ 114 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:34,959 ♪ It's H-O-M-E-R ♪ 115 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,128 ♪ My bologna has a second name♪ 116 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:39,172 ♪ It's H-O-M-E-R ♪ 117 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,841 (screaming) 118 00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,886 (screaming continues) 119 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,846 There goes the last lingering thread 120 00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:50,641 of my heterosexuality. 121 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,852 Hey, baby, get comfortable. 122 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,645 Relax. 123 00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:56,564 It's a little hot for that cheerleader outfit, 124 00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,941 don't you think? 125 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:06,240 You think your dirty socks can stop me? 126 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,452 Well, they are making me dizzy. 127 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:11,579 Ohh... 128 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,128 (wolf howls) 129 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,009 Good-bye, Dolly. 130 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,387 Arrivederci, Vito. 131 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,639 I was a fool to think anyone would want 132 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:32,016 nude photos of Whoopi Goldberg. 133 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,684 What the-- 134 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,855 And that is that. 135 00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,029 Guess who, fat boy! 136 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,739 Marge! Marge! Look! 137 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,449 Oh, my God! 138 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,992 The doll's trying to kill me, 139 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,411 and the toaster's been laughing at me. 140 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:52,495 (gurgling) 141 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,871 Eww, dog water! 142 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:58,000 -(keypad beeping) -(line ringing) 143 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:01,963 Your doll is trying to kill my husband. 144 00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,132 Yes, I'll hold. 145 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:08,010 ♪ Everybody loves a clown, so why don't you? ♪ 146 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:13,516 (grunting) 147 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:17,186 Yep, here's your problem. 148 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,898 Someone set this thing to evil. 149 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,400 I love you, Homer. 150 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,193 Come here, you. 151 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,158 -Here you go, buddy. -Did you walk the dog? 152 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,743 Yeah, he buried me a couple of times. 153 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:35,329 Yeah, dogs like to bury old junk. 154 00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,415 Yeah, you stupid idiot. 155 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,461 Oh, what a day. 156 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,713 Homer made me give him a sponge bath. 157 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,381 Eww! 158 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,135 But coming home to you makes it all worthwhile. 159 00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:51,846 Uh-oh, here, let me get that for you. 160 00:07:57,059 --> 00:08:01,772 So then his wife comes through the door. 161 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,983 -So? -Did I mention she was dead? 162 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:05,693 -No. -Well, she was. 163 00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:08,070 And she hit him in the head 164 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,739 with a golf club. 165 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:12,116 -And? -Don't you remember, 166 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,118 he went golfing all the time, and it really bugged her. 167 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,787 -You said he went bowling. -D'oh! 168 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:20,833 Homer, I've coughed up scarier stuff than that. 169 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,085 Grampa, why don't you tell us a story. 170 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,462 You've led an interesting life. 171 00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,797 That's a lie, and you know it! 172 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:30,510 But I have seen a lot of movies. 173 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:31,886 ♪♪ 174 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,186 My name is Marge Bouvier. 175 00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,938 I'm here about your ad. 176 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,274 "Single white female wanted for mysterious expedition. 177 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,026 "Must like monkeys. 178 00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,736 Non-smoker preferred." 179 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:51,197 Well, you'd be a welcome change of pace 180 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,533 from the rest of these crude and uncouth sailors. 181 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,825 -Argh! -Argh! 182 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:55,868 -Argh! -Argh! 183 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,036 Argh! 184 00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:58,746 What do you think, Smithers? 185 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:00,998 I think women and seamen don't mix. 186 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,333 We know what you think. 187 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,627 Young lady, you're hired. 188 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,004 (laughing maniacally) 189 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:14,095 Hey, I heard we're going to Ape Island. 190 00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:15,680 Yeah, to capture a giant ape. 191 00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,640 I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island. 192 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,016 Candy Apple Island? 193 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,560 What do they got there? 194 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,353 Apes-- but they're not so big. 195 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:25,565 (chanting) Homer, Homer, Homer. 196 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,650 Hey, who's this Homer dude? 197 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,236 He's either a 50-foot prehistoric ape 198 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:33,406 or a tourist trap concocted by the Ape Island Jaycees. 199 00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:36,242 Either way, we're going ashore. 200 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,661 -Am I going too? -Of course, 201 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,913 we wouldn't think of going without the bait... 202 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:44,208 uh, that is, the bait-thing beauty... 203 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,043 the bathing beauty. 204 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,420 I covered that up pretty well. 205 00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,880 (chanting) Homer, Homer, Homer, 206 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:53,634 Homer, Homer, Homer, Homer... 207 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,970 BURNS: Just try to remain inconspicuous. 208 00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:59,515 {\an8}(speaking native language) 209 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,641 What's he saying? 210 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:01,976 He's saying, uh... 211 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,394 "We wouldn't dream 212 00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:05,229 of sacrificing the blue-haired woman." 213 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,772 Oh, well, isn't that-- 214 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,275 -Whoa! -Mm-hmm. 215 00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:12,486 (yelling) 216 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:13,946 (grunting) 217 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,369 (gong crashes) 218 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,412 D'oh! 219 00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:24,415 (echoing) D-oh! 220 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:27,918 (screaming) 221 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:32,673 (screaming) 222 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,259 Smithers, this is a golden opportunity. 223 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,429 If we get him alive, we can put him on Broadway. 224 00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:41,390 Dead-- We'll sell monkey stew to the army. 225 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,643 (chuckles) Ooh! 226 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,145 You keep your hands to yourself, mister! 227 00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:47,688 (sniffing) 228 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:48,856 (purrs) 229 00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,650 (giggling) 230 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,652 BURNS: Now, we don't want to kill him. 231 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,737 Shoot him around the groin and belly. 232 00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,200 (roaring) 233 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,285 (screaming) 234 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,745 Hey, Homer, cut it out. 235 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:04,664 Come on, quit eating me. 236 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:06,707 Ow! 237 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,709 Nice shot, Carl. 238 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:09,835 (muffled cries) 239 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:10,920 (crunching) 240 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,672 (gulps) 241 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:13,756 (belches) 242 00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,508 All right, you big ape. 243 00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,843 Get a snootful of this gas bomb. 244 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,428 (hissing) 245 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,596 (moaning) 246 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,601 ♪ I was strolling through the gas one day... ♪ 247 00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:29,230 (roaring) 248 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,691 (yawning) 249 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:38,322 (snoring) 250 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,658 Nice work, Smithers. 251 00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:42,827 When we get back, I'm giving you a raise. 252 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:46,997 Oh, well. 253 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,082 ♪♪ 254 00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,970 (roaring) 255 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,347 What kind of show you got for us, Mr. Burns? 256 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,015 Well, the ape's going 257 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,476 to stand around for three hours or so. 258 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:11,313 Then we'll close with the ethnic comedy of Dugan and Dershowitz. 259 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,107 Sensational! 260 00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:17,069 Ladies and gentlemen, in his native land, he was a king, 261 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:21,031 but he comes before you in chains for your own amusement. 262 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:25,077 Presenting Homer, the Eighth Wonder of the World! 263 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,079 (audience gasping) 264 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:31,125 Wow, look at the size of that platform! 265 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:37,131 (frightened grunting) 266 00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:39,508 (roaring) 267 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,927 I think you're making him angry. 268 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,137 Come on, what's he going to do-- 269 00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:45,931 run amok in downtown Springfield? 270 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,100 (roaring) 271 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,810 (audience screaming) 272 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,440 (screaming) 273 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,154 Hey, monkey, want a peanut? 274 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,991 I said one! 275 00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:06,035 (grunting) 276 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:14,502 ♪ On the Good Ship Lollipop ♪ 277 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:18,172 ♪ It's a sweet trip to the candy shop ♪ 278 00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:19,840 ♪ Where bonbons... ♪ 279 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,550 -(roaring) -(screaming) 280 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,345 (muffled screams and crunching) 281 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:29,809 I'm dreading the reviews, I can tell you that. 282 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:30,976 Oh, hi, Homey. 283 00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:35,981 (screaming) 284 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,318 (grunts) 285 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,111 (gasping) 286 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,074 Oh... 287 00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:49,245 He's sure taking his sweet time. 288 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,663 Better refuel. 289 00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:56,168 You know, you look a little flushed. 290 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,628 Maybe you should eat more vegetables 291 00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:58,879 and less people. 292 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,215 Uh-huh. 293 00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,092 (gasping) 294 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:06,011 (moaning) 295 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,222 (groaning) 296 00:14:08,305 --> 00:14:10,057 He's not dead! 297 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,768 No, but his career is. 298 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,228 I remember when Al Jolson ran amok 299 00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:15,604 at the winter garden 300 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,439 and climbed the Chrysler Building. 301 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:20,192 After that, he couldn't get arrested in this town. 302 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,610 (pitiful moaning) 303 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,237 Don't worry, Homey. 304 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,155 I'll take care of you. 305 00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:31,161 ♪♪ (organ playing "Trumpet Voluntary") 306 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,455 Are you with the bride or groom? 307 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,165 (chattering) 308 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:37,167 Right this way. 309 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:43,299 Folks, if you could just stop cleaning each other for a second. 310 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:46,135 Wait, wait, Marge, I can't find your father. 311 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,053 (crunching and slurping) 312 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,055 (belches) 313 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,974 Oh, Homer. 314 00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:58,898 Now, kids, instead of candy, I thought I'd serve 315 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,816 an array of healthy fresh fruits. 316 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,902 (kids grumbling) 317 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,654 Fruit is nature's candy. 318 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,864 (grumbling grows louder) 319 00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:09,992 Whoa! 320 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,119 (eerie moaning) 321 00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,288 (screaming) 322 00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:16,790 Hey, hi, fellow Halloweenies. 323 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,626 Did I scaredilly-dare you? 324 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:22,212 (gasping) Why... da-da-darn it. 325 00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:23,839 Nice try, Mr. Flanders, 326 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,341 but I've got a story so scary 327 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:26,884 you'll wet your pants. 328 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,427 Too late. 329 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:36,352 From A-apple to Z-zebra, 330 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,687 Baby's First Pop-Up Book is 26 pages 331 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,898 of alphabetic adventure. 332 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:42,274 Bart, you mean to tell me 333 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,944 you read a book intended for pre-schoolers? 334 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,195 Well, most of it. 335 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,906 You have to read another book. 336 00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:55,120 "Find Waldo Yet Again." 337 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:58,165 Man, he's just not trying anymore. 338 00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:01,168 Gee, never noticed that before. 339 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,385 (chittering) 340 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,098 Ow! What's this? 341 00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:17,726 -Evil. -Evil. 342 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,144 Madness. 343 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,105 -Beware. -Beware. 344 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,898 Cool! 345 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,108 -Ow. -Ow. 346 00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,067 -Ow. -Ow. 347 00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:28,696 (sighing) 348 00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,823 Chapter 8, "Let's Talk Zombies." 349 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,866 "If a zombie bites you, you become a zombie. 350 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,284 "You must walk the earth 351 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,744 "feeding on the brains of the living 352 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,329 until the spell is broken." 353 00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:40,541 Bart, please, don't you remember that Snowball I died 354 00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:42,376 four years ago tonight? 355 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:45,629 Run over by the mayor's beer-swilling brother, Clovis. 356 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,214 Hey, maybe there's a spell in here 357 00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:49,383 that'll bring her back from the dead. 358 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,552 Let's see what we've got. 359 00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:53,512 "How to get your skeletons their whitest." 360 00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,514 "Selling your soul in a buyers' market." 361 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:58,392 Ah, here we are! "How to raise the dead." 362 00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:00,394 (laughing maniacally) 363 00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:03,272 (thunder crashing) 364 00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:22,332 (chanting solemnly) Cullen, Rayburn, Narz, Trebek. 365 00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:28,172 Zabar, Kresge, Caldor, Wal-Mart! 366 00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:34,094 (tortured growling) 367 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,263 LISA: It's not working. 368 00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:38,766 (sighing) 369 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,934 Bart, you cast the wrong spell! 370 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,352 Zombies! 371 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,730 Please, Lise, they prefer to be called 372 00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:46,190 the living-impaired. 373 00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:51,028 There, pretty as a picture. 374 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:52,446 (growling) 375 00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,823 Ach! Zombies! 376 00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:58,827 There, pretty as a picture. 377 00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:11,256 Well, howdy, strangers. What can I do you for? 378 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,593 -Brains. -Brains. 379 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:16,303 Why, Sue Dolkes, you rascal. 380 00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,138 I thought you were dead and-- 381 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,807 (Flanders screaming) 382 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,519 Dad we did something very bad! 383 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,270 -Did you wreck the car? -No. 384 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,481 -Did you raise the dead? -Yes! 385 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:29,441 -But the car's okay? -BOTH: Uh-huh. 386 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,026 All right then. 387 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:35,864 Martin Prince, report to my office at once, 388 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:39,868 and bring that big, juicy, chess club brain of yours 389 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,453 along with you. 390 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,913 (lips smacking) Mmm. 391 00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,957 (whimpering) 392 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,708 Hey, kids look what you can win 393 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:50,087 in the Krusty sweepstakes. 394 00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,463 (screaming) 395 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:54,883 ♪♪ (Muzak) 396 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:58,011 To enter, send me your parents' brains 397 00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,389 {\an8}or write "Parents' Brains" On a 3x5 card 398 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:01,974 {\an8}and send it to-- 399 00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,934 Homer, did you barricade the door? 400 00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:04,935 Why? 401 00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:07,479 Oh, the zombies. No. 402 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,189 (screaming) 403 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,691 Spare my family. 404 00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:12,276 Take me. Take me. 405 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:14,611 Hmm. 406 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,405 (hollow tapping) 407 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:17,906 -Brains! -Brains! 408 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,908 -Brains. -Brains. 409 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,995 I thought dabbling in the black arts 410 00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,454 would be good for a chuckle. 411 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,831 How wrong I was. 412 00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,624 I should have never read that book. 413 00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,751 Wait, Bart, maybe the library has another book 414 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,753 that will reverse the spell. 415 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,589 It's our only hope. 416 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,132 To the book depository! 417 00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:40,637 (tortured growling) 418 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,222 Hey, Simpson. 419 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:43,557 I'm feeling a might peckish. 420 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,851 Mind if I chew your ear? 421 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:51,565 -(gasping) -Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders! 422 00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:52,816 He was a zombie? 423 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:58,405 KZMB, all-zombie radio. 424 00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:01,491 (eerie moaning) 425 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,997 The zombies have the earthlings on the run. 426 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,458 Soon the human race will wither and fall 427 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,043 like the earth plums 428 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,503 we have seen on the observascope. 429 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,380 (evil laughter) 430 00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,307 Ow! Careful. 431 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,558 Not the face. 432 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:38,111 (munching and moaning) 433 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,405 Barney, not you too? 434 00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:41,740 I'm not a zombie. 435 00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:43,700 But hey, when in Rome... 436 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:46,411 Wow! George Washington! 437 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,372 -Take that, Washington. -(gunshot) 438 00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:52,292 -Eat lead, Einstein. -Oy. 439 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:55,170 Show's over, Shakespeare. 440 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,507 Is this the end of zombie Shakespeare? 441 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:04,346 Hurry, Bart! 442 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,931 Kolchak, Mannix, 443 00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,558 Banacek, Danno! 444 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:09,935 What's wrong? 445 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,895 Uh... I never realized 446 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:13,814 what a beautiful young woman you've become. 447 00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,065 Oh. 448 00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:18,318 Trojan, Ramses, Magnum, Sheik! 449 00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:22,781 (zombies groaning) 450 00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,119 -See you in hell. -Still pushing that boulder? 451 00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:28,120 Uh-huh. 452 00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,625 Excuse me, I'm John Smith. 453 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:36,003 John Smith, 1882? 454 00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:39,006 My mistake. 455 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:42,342 The zombies that plagued our town 456 00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:45,637 are now just corpses rotting in our streets. 457 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:46,722 (crowd cheering) 458 00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:47,723 (groans) 459 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:53,478 Well, I'm sure glad we didn't turn into mindless zombies. 460 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:56,023 Shh, TV. 461 00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:57,649 -(thudding noise) -(canned laughter) 462 00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,693 Man fall down. 463 00:22:00,902 --> 00:22:02,070 Funny. 464 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,322 ALL: Mmm. 465 00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:08,327 (wolf howls) 466 00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:10,954 {\an8}♪♪ 467 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:56,166 ♪♪ (pipe organ plays) 468 00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:01,713 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.