1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:05,755 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:14,889 (chalk screeches) 3 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,893 (bell rings) 4 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,358 (work whistle blows) 5 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,739 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 6 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,418 (jazzy solo) 7 00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:47,255 (tires screech) 8 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,180 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,809 (horn honks) 10 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,020 (tires screech) 11 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,565 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,776 -Aah! -(tires screech) 13 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,653 (air hissing) 14 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,543 MAN: Captain's log, Stardate 6051. 15 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,087 Had trouble sleeping last night. 16 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,380 My hiatal hernia is acting up. 17 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,216 The ship is drafty and damp. 18 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,635 I complain, but nobody listens. 19 00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:41,017 {\an8}ANNOUNCER: See the original cast in their latest 20 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,685 {\an8}greatest adventure. 21 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:45,563 {\an8}Captain, Klingons off the starboard bow. 22 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,232 {\an8}Again with the Klingons. 23 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,733 {\an8}Mr. Scott, give me full power. 24 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,401 {\an8}It's no good, Captain. 25 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:53,071 I cannot reach the control panel. 26 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,615 {\an8}Movies! What a rip-off! 27 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,784 {\an8}I don't have to sit here and take this. I... 28 00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:58,952 {\an8}(snoring) 29 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,498 {\an8}Hubba, hubba. 30 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,583 {\an8}-Oh, you kid! -Thank you, dear. 31 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,211 {\an8}Now, be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. 32 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,671 {\an8}We'll bring back dinner. 33 00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:11,464 {\an8}-What are we gonna have? -Well, that depends 34 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:13,133 {\an8}on what your teachers say. 35 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:14,634 {\an8}If you've been good, pizza. 36 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,511 {\an8}If you've been bad, uh... 37 00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:19,389 {\an8}Let's see... poison. 38 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,015 {\an8}What if one of us has been good 39 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,851 {\an8}-and one of us has been bad? -Poison pizza. 40 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,602 {\an8}Oh, no, I'm not making two stops. 41 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,274 {\an8}All right, I'll talk to Lisa's teacher this year, 42 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:30,692 {\an8}you can have Bart's. 43 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:32,652 {\an8}That's the way we do it every year. 44 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,612 {\an8}All right, tell you what. 45 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,072 I'm thinking of a number between one and 50. 46 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,323 Is it 37? 47 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,325 D'oh! I mean, no. 48 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,119 -Homer! -Please, Marge! 49 00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,203 Please, please, please, please, please? 50 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,329 Oh, all right. 51 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,622 Woo-hoo! 52 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,416 -(honking horn) -(chanting) U.S.A., U.S.A. 53 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,042 U.S.A. 54 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,550 Ach. 55 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,096 (inhales) 56 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,473 -(exhales) -(wood creaking) 57 00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,270 (makes flatulating noise) 58 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:11,107 (gasps) 59 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,317 Hee-hee! 60 00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,617 (blade ringing) 61 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,870 Bart has been guilty of the following atrocities: 62 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:25,622 synthesizing a laxative 63 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,874 from peas and carrots, 64 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:31,544 replacing my birth-control pills with Tic-Tacs. 65 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,463 Well, I'm sorry. 66 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,466 I'm sure Bart doesn't really mean to be bad. 67 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:39,552 Now's our chance to be bad. (chuckles) 68 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,095 TEACHER: Mr. Simpson-- 69 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,722 I just wanted to tell you 70 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:45,058 that you've done a wonderful job with Lisa. 71 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,101 You must have read to her at a young age. 72 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,729 I did. I did read to her. 73 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,982 "8:00: Happy Days. 74 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:58,279 The Fonz, Henry Winkler, is worried he's losing his cool." 75 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,115 Well, I've always been a firm believer in the three R's: 76 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:04,160 reading TV Guide, um... 77 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,829 writing to TV Guide, and... 78 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,039 renewing TV Guide. 79 00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:10,792 Now, we don't usually do this 80 00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:12,418 but we have some witnesses. 81 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,670 Come in, Arthur. 82 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:19,801 Now, where did Bart stick the fireworks? 83 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:21,010 Oh! 84 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,096 (snoring) 85 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,514 (smacking) 86 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,307 Over the lips and past the gums, 87 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,017 look out dentures, here I come. 88 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,811 (slurping) 89 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,396 -(crunching) -Eew! 90 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:33,439 (growling) 91 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,732 (giggling) 92 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,693 (growling) 93 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:42,657 "My child is on the honor roll at Springfield Elementary." 94 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:45,785 You know, I never thought I'd find a replacement 95 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:48,246 for my "Where's the beef?" bumper sticker. 96 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,039 (chuckling) Where's the beef? 97 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,417 We'd like the desk back, Mr. Simpson. 98 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,544 Huh? 99 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,713 (chuckling) Oh. 100 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,464 ("The Saber Dance" playing) 101 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,347 (yells) 102 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:11,060 I really don't see how this helps Bart. 103 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,270 Just do it. 104 00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:14,605 Busted! 105 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,941 Homer, we have a problem here. 106 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,067 Are you kidding? 107 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,944 Lisa turned out perfect! 108 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,655 I won't stand here and listen to you bad-mouthing Lisa. 109 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,157 We're talking about Bart. 110 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,867 Oh. That guy. 111 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,036 I think the problem here is discipline. 112 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,662 If Bart does something wrong 113 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,788 you should punish him. 114 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,749 Well, we try. 115 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,167 But he has this way of making us think 116 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,626 we've punished him when actually, 117 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,462 we've completely caved in. 118 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,213 He's the boy you love to hate. 119 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,215 Well, you've got to start being firm with him. 120 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:43,760 I believe, with persistent discipline, 121 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,762 even the poorest student can end up becoming 122 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:49,807 oh, say, chief justice of the Supreme Court. 123 00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,851 Chief justice of the Supreme Court. 124 00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:53,978 What great men he would join. 125 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:55,605 John Marshall... 126 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,774 Charles Evans Hughes... 127 00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,776 Warren Berger... 128 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,778 Mm, burger... 129 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,613 And what if we don't? 130 00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,407 Then there's no telling how low he can sink. 131 00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,202 HOST: All right, ladies! 132 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:12,622 Prepare to be blown away by Bang-Bang Bart! 133 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,501 (gunfire) 134 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:19,879 (women booing) 135 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:20,963 You're fat. 136 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,715 Just more of me to love, honey. 137 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:25,718 (women grumbling) 138 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:26,761 (Bart groaning) 139 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:30,056 Oh, my poor baby! 140 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:33,851 (car approaching) 141 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,144 (tires screeching) 142 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,106 Uh-oh. 143 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:49,992 What? Whazzat? 144 00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:53,246 Hi, Mom, hi, Dad. 145 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:55,248 Home already? 146 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,417 Boy, time really flies when you're reading... 147 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,835 the bible! 148 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,294 Eew! 149 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,712 Well, we brought some pizza. 150 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:04,090 (loud, rapid mumbling) 151 00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:05,842 If you don't start making more sense 152 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,094 we're gonna have to put you in a home. 153 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,138 You already put me in a home. 154 00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:11,931 Then we'll put you in the crooked home 155 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,599 -we saw on 60 Minutes. -I'll be good. 156 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,895 Look what your bad egg of a son did to my teeth! 157 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,856 Dad, you and your stories. 158 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:21,315 "Bart broke my teeth. 159 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,526 "The nurses are stealing my money. 160 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,695 This thing on my neck is getting bigger." 161 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,238 Now this is exactly 162 00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:28,948 what Bart's teacher was talking about. 163 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:30,700 Our son did something wrong 164 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:32,368 and you look the other way. 165 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,829 But Marge, look at that hangdog expression. 166 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:37,373 He's learned his lesson. 167 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,958 Let's get him a present. 168 00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,918 Oh, please, Homer. 169 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,837 Why do I always have to be the bad guy? 170 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,464 All right, all right. 171 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,341 Young man, since you broke Grampa's teeth, 172 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:48,759 he gets to break yours. 173 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,012 Oh! This is going to be sweet. 174 00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:53,473 -No, no, no! -Oh! 175 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,350 Bart, we're sending you to bed without your supper. 176 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,644 Yeah, right, like you're gonna let me go hungry. 177 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,771 I'll be eating that pizza in five minutes. 178 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,315 Bart, stop being confident. 179 00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:04,901 Doggone it! Oh... 180 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:08,279 -Oh, Grampa. -(teeth clattering on floor) 181 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:11,908 I'm starving. 182 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,118 Somebody bring me some food, quick. 183 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,828 I'm a-coming, boy! 184 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:19,707 MARGE: Homer, get back here. 185 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:23,211 There must be something to eat around here. 186 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,213 (sniffing, whimpering) 187 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,380 Hmm. 188 00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:31,761 (panting) 189 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:34,972 (panting) 190 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,182 (whimpering) 191 00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:38,768 (light switches clicking) 192 00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:43,731 Gee, maybe they mean it this time. 193 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:46,817 From now on, I guess I'd better straighten up and fly-- 194 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,361 Bart, don't tell your mother-- 195 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,820 but I brought you some pizza. 196 00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:52,573 Just promise me you'll try to be good. 197 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,909 -I promise. -That a boy. 198 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,413 (chuckling) 199 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,456 Sucker. 200 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,214 -(gun cocks) -Well, well. 201 00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:10,800 If it isn't the Tooth Fairy. 202 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,932 ANNOUNCER: Coming for Christmas, "The Itchy & Scratchy Movie." 203 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:31,404 (delighted cackling) 204 00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,531 (gasping) Bart! 205 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:37,368 Stick around, Mr. Bond. 206 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,453 Things are really starting to... 207 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,496 cook. 208 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,624 (laughing) 209 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,209 LISA: Bart, come quick! 210 00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:46,836 There's an Itchy and Scratchy movie! 211 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,841 MAN: If you want suspense... 212 00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:01,559 (screaming) 213 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,686 ...romance... 214 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:15,031 ...you'll find it at "The Itchy & Scratchy Movie," 215 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,033 coming soon to a theater near you... 216 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,284 53% new footage. 217 00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,328 Wow. 218 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,747 Bart, did you take out the garbage like I asked? 219 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,206 Indeed, I did. 220 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,958 (braying) 221 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:30,129 -D'oh! Hey, you goats get out of here. -(hissing) 222 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,590 Boy, you're gonna have to be punished for this. 223 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:35,259 Dad, you could punish me 224 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,428 but that means you have to think of a punishment, 225 00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:39,889 sit here, and make sure I do it... 226 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,849 -Oh. -Or you could let me 227 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,060 go play with Millhouse while you spend the afternoon 228 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,395 watching unpredictable Mexican sitcoms. 229 00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,109 Ay! El estomago! 230 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,319 (laughing) 231 00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:54,862 Run along, you little scamp. 232 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,128 ♪ Jingle bells ♪ 233 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:14,090 -♪ Jingle bells ♪ -Bart! 234 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,175 -Why are you doing that? -I don't know. 235 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,636 Well, this time you must be punished. 236 00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:21,389 Well, you could punish me, but... 237 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,808 No tricks, boy. I said I'm going to punish you, 238 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,393 and come hell or high water, 239 00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:28,521 -I-- Wait a minute. -(chimes ringing) 240 00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:29,980 Ice cream truck! 241 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,985 (yelling and chattering) 242 00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,489 Me, me! I was here first! 243 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:43,536 Mmm. Now, what were we talking about, boy? 244 00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,705 Uh... we were talking 245 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,832 about the time you beat jury duty. 246 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,583 Oh, yeah. 247 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,001 The trick is to say 248 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:53,629 you're prejudiced against all races. 249 00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:58,384 We're home. 250 00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,844 We got beets! 251 00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:01,804 Bart, are you pulling up the carpet? 252 00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,432 -Uh-huh. -Why are you letting him do this? 253 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,976 -I don't know. -Well, punish him. 254 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:09,061 All right, all right. Bart, go to your room. 255 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,230 See you in the funny pages. 256 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:12,606 How could you let this happen? 257 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,400 How could you let this happen? 258 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:18,070 -I wasn't here. -Oh. How convenient. 259 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,447 Homer, do you want your son 260 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,824 to become chief justice of the Supreme Court 261 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,452 or a sleazy male stripper? 262 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:26,829 Can't he be both like the late Earl Warren? 263 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,748 Earl Warren wasn't a stripper. 264 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,416 Now who's being naive? 265 00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,251 Look, you have to help discipline your son. 266 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:35,004 All right, Marge, I swear to you, 267 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:36,630 the next time he does something wrong, 268 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,257 I'll punish him and make it stick. 269 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,844 ANNOUNCER: Tonight on Eye on Springfield, 270 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:45,389 we meet a man who's been hiccupping for 45 years. 271 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:46,557 Hic! Kill me. 272 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,642 Hic! Kill me. 273 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,436 ANNOUNCER: But first we'll examine the growing 274 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:51,645 Itchy and Scratchy mania, with their new movie 275 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:52,980 premiering today. 276 00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:55,399 I got my ticket. 277 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,444 I'm here live in Korea to give you a first-hand look 278 00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:00,696 at how American cartoons are made. 279 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:04,867 But first, let's take a look back at the year 1928, 280 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,994 the year when you might have seen Al Capone 281 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,914 dancing the Charleston on top of a flagpole. 282 00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:13,667 {\an8}♪♪ 283 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,461 {\an8}(screams) 284 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:18,756 It was also the year of the very first Scratchy cartoon 285 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,175 entitled "That Happy Cat." 286 00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:22,843 ♪♪ 287 00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:29,391 (whistling) 288 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,649 The film did very poorly, 289 00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,651 but the following year, Scratchy was teamed up 290 00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:41,237 with a psychotic young mouse named Itchy, 291 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,531 and cartoon history was made. 292 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,950 Here's their first cartoon together: 293 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,952 "Steamboat Itchy." 294 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,703 (whistling) 295 00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,833 (whistle blows) 296 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,756 (whistling) 297 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,719 (screaming) 298 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:10,808 (whining) 299 00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,228 (screaming) 300 00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:15,646 (laughing) 301 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:21,527 Oh, me, oh, my. 302 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,195 ♪♪ 303 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,406 (loud laughter) 304 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:27,324 During the war, Itchy and Scratchy 305 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,201 put their differences aside and teamed up 306 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,995 to fight a bigger foe. 307 00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:34,498 ♪♪ ("Stars and Stripes Forever" playing) 308 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,634 ♪♪ ("Happy Days Are Here Again" playing) 309 00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:50,764 We'll be back with the real-life Itchy and Scratchy, 310 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,391 a rabid mouse in Boston 311 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:54,810 who attacked and killed a small cat. 312 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,228 (chuckles) 313 00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,606 (loud laughter) 314 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,900 Bart, didn't I ask you to watch Maggie? 315 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,735 Sounds like something you'd say. 316 00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:04,194 Hey, where is she? 317 00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,332 Oh, my Lord! 318 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,668 Oh, isn't that cute? 319 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,378 A baby driving a car. 320 00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,507 And look, there's a dog driving a bus. 321 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,927 -(screeching tires) -Hey! 322 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,136 (grunts) 323 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,608 All right. 324 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,985 Time for a crime spree. 325 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,823 All right, boy, this calls for the biggest punishment 326 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,952 I ever handed down, and this time it's going to stick. 327 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,870 Come on, Homer, this isn't funny. 328 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,080 Damn right. 329 00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:58,499 Bart, you can't go to see 330 00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:00,918 that Itchy and Scratchy movie ever! 331 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:01,919 (gasps) 332 00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:08,842 (moans) 333 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,430 Oh, no! Beta. 334 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,894 Dad, you got to let me see that movie. 335 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,397 Can't you just give me a spanking? 336 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,649 Come on, go nuts. 337 00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:25,234 Don't point that thing at me. 338 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,360 I said you're not going to the movie 339 00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:27,695 and I'm sticking to it. 340 00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:30,072 Dad, I agree that Bart should be punished, 341 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:31,740 but "The Itchy & Scratchy Movie" 342 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,659 is the defining event of our generation. 343 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,244 How would you like it if someone told you 344 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,788 that you couldn't watch the moon landing? 345 00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,581 Hmm. 346 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:42,334 That's one small step for man. 347 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,921 One giant leap for mankind. 348 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,881 (sniffles) 349 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:51,135 ♪ Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got love in my tummy ♪ 350 00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:53,929 ♪ And I feel like lovin' you ♪ 351 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,975 ♪ Love is such a sweet thing, good-enough-to-eat thing... ♪ 352 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,478 Sorry, but the punishment stands. 353 00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,197 I regret nothing! 354 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,330 (groans) 355 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,624 Someday you'll thank me for this, son. 356 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,043 Not bloody likely. 357 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,544 No, it's true. 358 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:27,463 You know, when I was a boy, 359 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:28,881 I really wanted a catcher's mitt. 360 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,133 But my dad wouldn't get it for me. 361 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,343 So I held my breath until I passed out 362 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,471 and banged my head on the coffee table. 363 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:38,057 The doctors thought I might have brain damage. 364 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,184 Dad, what's the point of this story? 365 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:41,685 I like stories. 366 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:43,645 Look, can I please go to the movie? 367 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,981 I know my punishment might seem a little harsh 368 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,691 but I can't go back on it. 369 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:50,486 You're welcome to watch anything you want on TV. 370 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,029 TV sucks. 371 00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:53,655 I know you're upset right now, 372 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,949 so I'll pretend you didn't say that. 373 00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:59,995 MAN (on TV): A master craftsman can make three mailboxes an hour. 374 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,705 I'm not licked yet. 375 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:04,541 I can entertain myself. No matter how good a movie is, 376 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:08,087 it can't compare to the imagination of a small boy. 377 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,016 (groaning) 378 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,019 -How was it? -It wasn't that great. 379 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,188 -Be honest. -It was the greatest movie 380 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,023 I've ever seen in my life! 381 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,567 And you wouldn't believe the celebrities who did cameos-- 382 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,444 Dustin Hoffman, Michael Jackson. 383 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,321 Of course, they didn't use their real names 384 00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:36,073 but you could tell it was them. 385 00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:38,534 -Lisa... -Sorry, Bart. 386 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,748 It's just not the same. 387 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:51,255 I've seen "The Itchy & Scratchy Movie" 13 times. 388 00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:53,632 I've seen it 17 times. 389 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,259 You guys must be getting pretty tired 390 00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:56,510 of that movie by now. 391 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:59,930 No one who saw the movie would say that. 392 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,431 Let's get him. 393 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:02,724 (all yelling) 394 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,729 Homer, we'd like to talk to you. 395 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,356 But then I won't be watching TV. 396 00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,066 You can see the bind I'm in. 397 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,443 Dad, you've got to let Bart see that movie. 398 00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:14,695 I've never seen him like this. 399 00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:16,280 He has the demented melancholy 400 00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:18,574 of a Tennessee Williams heroine. 401 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:19,950 Don't you think I know that? 402 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:21,785 Well, it's been two months. 403 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,996 You laid down the law and I'm proud of you. 404 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:26,290 But I think we've gotten through to him. 405 00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:28,792 Sweet, soft-hearted Marge. 406 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,961 You just can't see the big picture. 407 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,672 If I stick to my guns, the boy could wind up 408 00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:36,300 chief justice of the Supreme Court. 409 00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:38,302 If I fail, the best he could do 410 00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:41,471 is judge at a Mr. Tight Buns competition. 411 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:42,890 I can't let that happen. 412 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,308 I won't let that happen, 413 00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:45,976 and I can't let that happen. 414 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:53,984 One for Itchy & Scratchy. 415 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,197 We promised your dad we wouldn't. 416 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,406 (groans) 417 00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:18,008 I'm here at the Springfield Aztec Theater 418 00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:20,636 where, after eight months and nine Academy Awards, 419 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:23,931 "The Itchy & Scratchy Movie" is showing for the last time. 420 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,807 Tomorrow a new movie, 421 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,851 starring Liza Minnelli and Mickey Rourke will open. 422 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,686 Will it be as successful? 423 00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,063 Only time will tell. 424 00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:33,565 Well, Dad, I guess you won. 425 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,692 No, son, we both won. 426 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:38,445 You don't know it now, but I've started you on the road 427 00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:40,489 to somewhere very special. 428 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,748 Well, I'll be. "The Itchy & Scratchy Movie." 429 00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,500 Come on, what do you say? 430 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:54,628 All right. I think you've learned your lesson. 431 00:20:57,631 --> 00:20:59,216 One senior citizen 432 00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,260 and one chief justice of the Supreme Court. 433 00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,387 Eh-eh-eh. I'll get it, son. 434 00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,514 That will be $650. 435 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:06,556 D'oh. 436 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,058 One soylent green. 437 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:09,184 Hold the butter. 438 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,937 Mmm... soylent green. 439 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,190 ♪ They fight, they fight ♪ 440 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:16,858 ♪ They fight and fight and fight ♪ 441 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,235 ♪ Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight ♪ 442 00:21:18,318 --> 00:21:21,071 ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy Movie ♪ 443 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:25,367 ♪♪ ("I've Been Working on the Railroad" playing) 444 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,451 Get out! 445 00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:29,329 Get out! 446 00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:36,795 (cheering) 447 00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:42,509 ♪♪ ("I've Been Working on the Railroad" playing) 448 00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:47,681 (whistle blowing) 449 00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:50,309 (screaming) 450 00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,811 (train whistle blowing) 451 00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:54,771 Which one's the mouse? 452 00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,106 Itchy. 453 00:21:56,189 --> 00:21:57,607 Itchy's a jerk. 454 00:21:57,691 --> 00:21:59,568 (chuckles) 455 00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:00,694 Yeah. 456 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,910 {\an8}♪♪ 457 00:22:52,412 --> 00:22:53,330 Shh. 458 00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:59,878 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.