1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:05,755 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:18,893 -(chalk screeches) -(bell rings) 3 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,358 (work whistle blows) 4 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,739 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,460 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:47,255 (tires screech) 7 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,263 (tires screeching) 8 00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,851 (horn honks) 9 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,020 (tires screech) 10 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,482 D'oh! 11 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,859 -Aah! -(tires screech) 12 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,364 {\an8}Take two! 13 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:19,037 {\an8}Take three! 14 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:45,063 {\an8}Human roaches feeding off each other's garbage. 15 00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:48,566 {\an8}The only thing you can't buy here is dignity. 16 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,193 {\an8}Welcome, swappers, 17 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:52,570 {\an8}to the Springfield Swap Meet! 18 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:56,491 {\an8}Ich bin ein Springfield Swap Meet patron. 19 00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:57,700 {\an8}(whistling) 20 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,870 {\an8}I need a drink and a shower. 21 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,664 {\an8}Oyster shells! 22 00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:05,625 {\an8}Hand-painted to resemble Lucille Ball! 23 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:08,169 {\an8}You'll love Oyster Lucy! 24 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:12,423 {\an8}Oh, Mr. Mooney, I just got to meet Bob Cummings. 25 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:13,925 {\an8}Viv! 26 00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:18,054 {\an8}Oh, boy! Free trading cards. 27 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,222 {\an8}Wow! 28 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,641 {\an8}Joseph of Arimathea! 29 00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:25,562 {\an8}Twenty-six conversions in A .D. 46. 30 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:29,107 {\an8}Whoa! A Methuselah rookie card! 31 00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,192 {\an8}Heh, heh. Well, boys, who'd have thought 32 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,319 {\an8}learning about religion could be fun? 33 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,822 {\an8}-Religion? -Learning? 34 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,825 {\an8}-Let's get out of here! -Hey! 35 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:43,621 {\an8}Wow! An original Malibu Stacy from 1958. 36 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,290 Oh. 37 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,624 Yeah, they took her off the market 38 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,459 after some kid put both his eyes out. 39 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,170 Oh, my. 40 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,463 Prisoner 24601. 41 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,465 (chuckles) God... 42 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,009 I wore this for two years 43 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:57,886 in a Viet Cong internment center. 44 00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,387 Never thought I'd see the old girl again. 45 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,182 Still fits. 46 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,850 Small world, huh? 47 00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:07,270 It is. It really, really is. 48 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,230 Ooh! Five cents each. 49 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,194 Junk. 50 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,987 Junk. 51 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:19,240 The airplane's upside down. 52 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,659 Stradi-who-vius? 53 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,161 (violin clatters) 54 00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,163 Your teenage son or daughter will think 55 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:28,416 this wishbone necklace is really cool. 56 00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:30,960 I doubt my son or daughter is that stupid. 57 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,295 (groans) 58 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,424 Hmm. 59 00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:38,176 Nah. 60 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,553 -What the hell's this? -"Melvin and the Squirrels." 61 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:44,057 Part of the Rodent Invasion of the early'60s. 62 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:46,392 ♪ Put a feather in his cap ♪ 63 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:49,229 ♪ And called it Rice-A-Roni ♪ 64 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,813 MAN: Melvin! 65 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,358 (gasps) 66 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,109 Bart, look. 67 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,361 It's Dad. 68 00:03:58,279 --> 00:03:59,906 Dad, when did you record an album? 69 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,325 I'm surprised you don't remember, son. 70 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,077 It was only eight years ago. 71 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,120 Dad, thanks to television, I can't remember 72 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,580 what happened eight minutes ago. 73 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,208 (laughing) 74 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,835 No, really, I can't. It's a serious problem. 75 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:18,299 (laughing) 76 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,176 What are we all laughing about? 77 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,262 Who cares? 78 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,013 Anyway, it all happened 79 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,141 during that magical summer of 1985. 80 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,851 A maturing Joe Piscopo 81 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,479 left Saturday Night Live to conquer Hollywood. 82 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,898 People Express introduced a generation of hicks 83 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,316 to plane travel. 84 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,027 {\an8}And I was in a barbershop quartet. 85 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,362 (plays tone) 86 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,114 ♪ Hello, hello ♪ 87 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,991 ♪ Hello, hello ♪ 88 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,367 ♪ Hello, my baby ♪ 89 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,244 ♪ Hello, my honey ♪ 90 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:49,580 ♪ Hello, my ragtime, ragtime gal ♪ 91 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,958 HOMER: Every afternoon at Moe's, Chief Wiggum, 92 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,293 Principal Skinner, Apu, and I 93 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,836 would get together and sing. 94 00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:58,006 And the crowds went wild. 95 00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:59,465 Yoo-hoo! 96 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:02,010 ♪ Then you'll be left alone ♪ 97 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,219 Barbershop? 98 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,470 That ain't been popular 99 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,389 since aught-six, dagnab it. 100 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:08,224 Bart, what did I tell you? 101 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:13,146 No talking like a grizzled 1890s prospector, consarn it. 102 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,815 Anyway, rock and roll had become stagnant. 103 00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:18,651 "Achy Breaky Heart" was seven years away. 104 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,653 Something had to fill the void. 105 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,489 And that something was barbershop. 106 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,158 ♪ Good-bye ♪ 107 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,492 -♪ Good-bye ♪ -♪ Good-bye ♪ 108 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,077 ♪ Good-bye ♪ 109 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:31,122 ♪ Good-bye, my Coney Island baby ♪ 110 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:33,458 That's my son up there. 111 00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:35,710 What, the balding fat ass? 112 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,837 No, the Hindu guy. 113 00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,132 ♪ Never to see you any ♪ 114 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:42,925 ♪ Never gonna see you any ♪ 115 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,471 I'm going to nail that cop right between the eyes. 116 00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:48,973 ♪ Never to return again ♪ 117 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,892 Right after this song is over. 118 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:54,729 ♪ Good-bye, my Coney Island babe ♪ 119 00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:57,440 (applause, whistling) 120 00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,108 (laughing) 121 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,612 ♪♪ (organ playing) 122 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,698 ♪ Good-bye, my Coney Island baby ♪ 123 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,159 ♪ Farewell, my own true love ♪ 124 00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,244 ♪ True love, my baby, I'm gonna go... ♪ 125 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,121 Ching, ching! 126 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,707 You know, Reverend, this really isn't a hymn. 127 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,335 Ned, there's an oil stain in the parking lot 128 00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:20,838 -that looks just like St. Barnabas. -Oh, my stars. 129 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,632 ♪ Never to return again ♪ 130 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,467 -♪ So, good-bye ♪ -♪ Farewell ♪ 131 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,427 ♪ Shop Quick-E-Mart and save ♪ 132 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,137 ♪ Good-bye, my Coney Isle ♪ 133 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,139 ♪ Good-bye, my Coney Isle ♪ 134 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:35,478 ♪ Good-bye, my Coney Island babe ♪ 135 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:42,235 Homer, I'm a theatrical agent. 136 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:45,279 And I want to represent your group. 137 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:48,991 -Really? -Yeah. You've got it. 138 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,368 All except that police officer. 139 00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,120 Yuck! Too "Village People." 140 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,705 -You have to replace him. -Just leave it to me. 141 00:06:57,708 --> 00:06:59,794 Where we goin'? Where we goin'? (panting) 142 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:02,839 Run along, boy. 143 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:03,881 You're free now! 144 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,927 No! No! 145 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:11,889 (baying) No! 146 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,892 Principal Seymour Skinner. 147 00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:16,561 Apu Nasapimapetalon. 148 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:18,438 Never fit on a marquee, luv. 149 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:21,274 From now on, your name is Apu de Beaumarchais. 150 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:25,361 That is a great dishonor to my ancestors and my god, but okay. 151 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,655 HOMER: The next day, we started auditioning 152 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,574 for Chief Wiggum's replacement. 153 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:32,201 ♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪ 154 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,829 ♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪ 155 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:37,707 ♪ And on this farm, he had a chick ♪ 156 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,001 ♪ The swingin'est chick I know ♪ 157 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,461 ♪ With a wiggle-wiggle here ♪ 158 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:42,920 ♪ And a wiggle-wiggle there...♪ 159 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:46,549 -Get off the stage. -I want to, but I can't. 160 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,634 ♪ When you're alone ♪ 161 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,553 ♪ And life is gettin' you lonely ♪ 162 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,555 ♪ Ye can always go ♪ 163 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,266 ♪ Ach! "Doontown" ♪ 164 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:56,434 Next! 165 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:58,603 ♪ Theme ♪ 166 00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:01,772 ♪ From "A Summer Place" ♪ 167 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:04,984 ♪ From "A Summer Place" ♪ 168 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:07,320 ♪ The theme ♪ 169 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:11,032 ♪ From "A Summer Place" ♪ 170 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:14,494 -♪ It's the theme ♪ -ALL: Next! 171 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,746 ♪ If I could walk with the animals ♪ 172 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,623 ♪ Talk with the animals ♪ 173 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:22,710 ♪ Run and squeak and squawk with the animals ♪ 174 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:23,878 Good Lord! 175 00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:26,422 Dr. Dolittle is Chief Wiggum. 176 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,257 This bird's going to fly. 177 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,343 (yells) 178 00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:34,138 HOMER: It was one lousy applicant after another. 179 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,598 And then... 180 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:39,268 MAN: ♪ Over in Killarney ♪ 181 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:43,564 ♪ So many years ago... ♪ 182 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,234 -Such a voice. -Who is that? 183 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:50,071 ♪ Me mother sang this song to me ♪ 184 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:54,200 ♪ In tones so soft and... ♪ 185 00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,786 -(burping) -ALL: Barney! 186 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:59,664 ♪ Just a little Irish ditty ♪ 187 00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,833 Barney! How'd you like to sing for our group? 188 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,669 Sure. Why not? 189 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,629 Now, where's me toothpick? 190 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,840 ♪ Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra ♪ 191 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:14,095 ♪ Too-ra loo-ra-li ♪ 192 00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:16,222 ALL (chanting): Wiggum forever! 193 00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:18,140 Barney never! 194 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,142 Wiggum forever! 195 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,061 Barney never! 196 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:23,563 -(chuckles) -Wiggum forever! 197 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:28,818 ♪ Sweet Adeline ♪ 198 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:34,240 ♪ Sweet Adeline ♪ 199 00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:38,202 ♪ My Adeline ♪ 200 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:41,247 ♪ My Adeline ♪ 201 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,165 (cheers and screams) 202 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,460 ALL (chanting): Barney forever! 203 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,421 Wiggum never! 204 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,047 Barney forever! 205 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,091 Wiggum never! 206 00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:55,511 Hey, those girls you paid to scream are doing a great job. 207 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,971 I didn't pay any girls to scream. 208 00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:58,097 Huh? 209 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,351 BARNEY: My, did we sound great! Huh? 210 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,061 Only one question remains, gentlemen. 211 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,771 What do we call ourselves? 212 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,148 How about... 213 00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:09,191 "Handsome Homer Simpson Plus Three"? 214 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:13,195 -I like it! -Wait, I do not. 215 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,905 We need a name that's witty at first 216 00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:17,533 but that seems less funny each time you hear it. 217 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,952 How about "The Be Sharps"? 218 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,412 (laughing) 219 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:28,794 Perfect. 220 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,296 The Be Sharps. 221 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,922 SKINNER: The Be Sharps. 222 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,091 ALL: The Be Sharps. 223 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,968 WIGGUM: The Be Sharps. 224 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,220 Ha, ha, ha. 225 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,348 Heh, heh. 226 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,016 Well, you can't blame a guy for trying. 227 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:44,769 Heh, heh... heh. 228 00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:46,520 Aw, you're all under arrest. 229 00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:54,945 -What did you kids get? -I bought this cool pencil holder. 230 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,989 (chuckles) Far out, man. 231 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,825 I haven't seen a bong in years. (chuckles) 232 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,787 No one bought a wishbone necklace. 233 00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,789 Well, one of us made some money. 234 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,415 I sold a guy our spare tire. 235 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,918 -(explosion) -D-ohh! 236 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,463 -(bird screeches) -It will be a long time 237 00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:14,465 before your mother gets back with the tire, 238 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:17,218 so why don't I tell you more of the story? 239 00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:20,137 Now that we had a name, the Be Sharps needed a hit-- 240 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:24,433 something new, something exciting, something mid-1980s. 241 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,857 ♪ There was nothing in Al Capone's vault ♪ 242 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:35,903 ♪ But it wasn't Geraldo's fault ♪ 243 00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:37,321 D-oh! 244 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,574 -Huh. -Look what I got. 245 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:43,828 Now people will stop intentionally ramming our car. 246 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:46,997 Hmm. "Baby on board." 247 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,958 ♪ Baby on board ♪ 248 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,627 ♪ Something, something, Burt Ward ♪ 249 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,546 This thing writes itself. 250 00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:57,466 ♪ I'm telling you it's mighty nice ♪ 251 00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:01,053 ♪ Each trip's a trip to paradise ♪ 252 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,221 ♪ With my ♪ 253 00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:04,682 ♪ Baby ♪ 254 00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:08,978 ♪ On board ♪ 255 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:12,857 Gentlemen, you've just recorded your first number one. 256 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,150 -Oh, yes! -Yes! 257 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,985 Wait till I tell Marge. 258 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,779 Oh, yes. Bouffant Betty. 259 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,198 Well, I would prefer we kept your marriage a secret. 260 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:24,493 You see, a lot of women are going to want to have sex with you, 261 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,662 and, uh, we want them to think they can. 262 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:30,833 Well, if I explain it to Marge that way, 263 00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,001 I'm sure she'll understand. 264 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,962 (sobbing) 265 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,718 Come on, honey. 266 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:42,762 It will only be till we finish our tour of Sweden. 267 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,014 (sobbing) 268 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:50,352 ♪♪ (bass intro plays) 269 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,898 ♪ Baby on board ♪ 270 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:57,067 ♪ How I adore ♪ 271 00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:02,990 ♪ That sign on my car's windowpane ♪ 272 00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:04,867 That's my boy Homer singing. 273 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,202 -Hmm. Paul Harvey's on. -Oh! 274 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:11,916 HARVEY: And that little boy whom nobody liked 275 00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:14,335 grew up to be... 276 00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:16,128 Roy Cohn. 277 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,671 BOTH: Wow! 278 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,132 And now you know the rest of the story. 279 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,092 ♪'Cause I'm driving ♪ 280 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:27,848 ♪ In the carpool lane ♪ 281 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:31,727 Ah, Squiddy, I got nothing against you. 282 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,688 I just heard there was gold in your belly. 283 00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:37,149 (laughing) 284 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:41,028 ♪ With my baby ♪ 285 00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:45,783 ♪ On board ♪ 286 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,035 Homer, you're going to be famous. 287 00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,454 Yeah, but I'm not going to let it change our lives. 288 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:53,123 I'll be the same loving father I've always been. 289 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,085 -Hmm, have you seen Bart? -I stuck him somewhere. 290 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,003 (clanging) 291 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,384 Look what I got for you, Dad. 292 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:07,388 Oh, Hom-- Ah, ah... ah! 293 00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:08,514 Give me the key. 294 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:10,266 {\an8}(crowd screaming) 295 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,149 I have a question for Apu De Beaumarchais. 296 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,068 Isn't it true that you're really an Indian? 297 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:24,071 By the many arms of Vishnu, I swear it is a lie. 298 00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:26,407 Barney, how did you join the group? 299 00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:28,784 They found me on the men's room floor. 300 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,079 (laughter) 301 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,164 -Principal Skinner. -Mm-hmm. 302 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,166 You've been referred to as "the funny one." 303 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,711 Is that reputation justified? 304 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,254 Yes. Yes, it is. 305 00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:44,341 -(laughter) -(explosions) 306 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,677 -♪ Be-hi... ♪ -♪ Good-bye, my Coney Isle ♪ 307 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,304 -♪ Be-ho... ♪ -♪ Good-bye, my Coney Isle ♪ 308 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:51,181 ♪ Good-bye, my Coney Island girl ♪ 309 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:54,101 ♪ Good-bye, my Coney Island babe ♪ 310 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,564 Damn ceremonies. 311 00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:01,275 This is time I could be working, Mommy. 312 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,527 We'd like to dedicate this next number 313 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,571 to a very special woman. 314 00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,281 She's a hundred years old 315 00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:11,493 and she weighs over 200... tons. 316 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,662 This enormous woman will devour us all! 317 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:14,914 (screaming) 318 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,417 I meant the statue. 319 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:25,090 Okay, Gilligan, the Skipper, and Chief Wiggum. 320 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,217 "Name three castaways." 321 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,929 -Hey-oh! -Ooh. 322 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,351 Clancy, use the remote. 323 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,437 Oh, yeah. 324 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,773 Uh! Can we talk about Chief Wiggum? 325 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:41,857 Uh, uh, uh! 326 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,362 We had fame and fortune. Now all we needed 327 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:49,490 was the approval of record company lowlifes. 328 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:52,993 -(drum roll) -And the Grammy for outstanding soul 329 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:56,080 spoken-word, or barbershop album of the year 330 00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:58,332 goes to... 331 00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,000 The Be Sharps! 332 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,627 (cheering) 333 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:08,050 -Congratulations. -David Crosby? You're my hero. 334 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,719 -Oh, you like my music? -You're a musician? 335 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:15,182 HOMER: Then came the greatest thrill of my life. 336 00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:17,059 Hello, Homer. I'm George Harrison. 337 00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:19,269 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 338 00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,647 Where did you get that brownie? 339 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:22,982 Over there. There's a big pile of them. 340 00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,817 (laughs crazily) 341 00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:32,116 Oh, man. 342 00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:33,534 Wow, what a nice fellow. 343 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,541 Lisa, did you see the Grammys? 344 00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:42,918 You beat Dexy's Midnight Runners. 345 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,795 Well, you haven't heard the last of them. 346 00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:46,213 I miss you, Daddy. 347 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:47,965 I miss you, too, honey. 348 00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:00,686 Oh... 349 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,689 Here's that champagne you ordered, Mr. Simpson. 350 00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,065 Oh, thanks. 351 00:17:06,775 --> 00:17:07,860 Here. 352 00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,903 Wow! An award statue! 353 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,698 Oh... it's a Grammy. 354 00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,324 (clunk) 355 00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,452 MAN: Hey, don't throw your garbage down here. 356 00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,461 Wow! Look at all this Be Sharps merchandise. 357 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:26,795 Lunch boxes, 358 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,630 coffee mugs, 359 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,050 funny foam. 360 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,010 They took the foam off the market, 361 00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,553 because they found out it was poisonous. 362 00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,638 But if ask me, if you're dumb enough to eat it, 363 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,057 you deserve to die. 364 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,059 -Bart! -What? 365 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,436 I can't believe you're not still popular. 366 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,396 What'd you do? Screw up like the Beatles 367 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,273 and say you were bigger than Jesus? 368 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,817 All the time. It was the title of our second album. 369 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,947 But we were about to learn an iron law of show business-- 370 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:56,283 what goes up must come down. 371 00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:58,368 What about Bob Hope? 372 00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,454 He's been consistently popular for over 50 years. 373 00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:01,455 So is Sinatra. 374 00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,957 Well, anyway, we were all getting tired of-- 375 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,334 Dean Martin still packs them in. 376 00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,377 -Ditto Tom Jones. -Shut up! 377 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:09,338 With your father on the road all the time, 378 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,840 I tried to compensate for his absence. 379 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,347 Hi, kids. 380 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,681 I love... 381 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:20,933 (tape rewinds) 382 00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:22,142 (both scream) 383 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,020 -(pop) -(screaming) 384 00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:28,732 HOMER: Meanwhile, the group 385 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,442 was having problems of its own. 386 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,278 ♪ For all the latest ♪ 387 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,322 ♪ Medical poop ♪ 388 00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:38,492 ♪ Call Surgeon General ♪ 389 00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:41,245 ♪ C. Everett Koop ♪ 390 00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:46,291 ♪ Poo, poo, pa-doop ♪ 391 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,669 This is worse than your song about Mr. T. 392 00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:52,673 I pity the fool who doesn't like he. 393 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:55,384 -And where's Barney? -Oh, he's with his new girlfriend, 394 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:58,011 the Japanese conceptual artist. 395 00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:03,100 BARNEY: Barbershop is in danger of growing stale. 396 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:06,979 I'm taking it to strange, new places. 397 00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,106 -GIRLFRIEND: Number eight. -(Barney belches) 398 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,357 -Number eight. -(Barney belches) 399 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,484 -Number eight. -(Barney belches) 400 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:14,111 -Number eight. -(Barney belches) 401 00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:15,779 -Number eight. -(Barney belches) 402 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:18,949 Then came the day we knew we were finished. 403 00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,618 Gentlemen, this magazine just came out 404 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,787 with its "What's hot and what's not" issue. 405 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:26,248 -Are we hot? -We are not. 406 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:29,251 HOMER: We all went our separate ways. 407 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,129 Well, William, I'm back. 408 00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,381 So how did you spend your summer? 409 00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:36,216 I made millions in software 410 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,844 and lost it at the track, och! 411 00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:41,722 It may not be glamorous, 412 00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:43,640 but it's good, honest work. 413 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,851 -How much is this quart of milk? -12 dollars. 414 00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:49,605 Hey, Barney, what will it be? 415 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,064 I'd like a beer, Moe. 416 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,774 I'd like a single plum 417 00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,359 floating in perfume, 418 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,777 served in a man's hat. 419 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,112 Here you go. 420 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,822 Hey, fellas, I'm back. 421 00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:00,199 Oh, that's great. 422 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:01,825 Your replacement was getting tired. 423 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,744 (clucking) 424 00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:06,038 Hey, Queeny, you can go now. 425 00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:08,290 I'll give her a good home. 426 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,833 And I did. 427 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:14,296 I'll never forget my five and a half weeks 428 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,798 -at the top. -Man, that's some story. 429 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,634 But there are still a few things I don't get. 430 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,303 Like, how come we never heard about this until today? 431 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,971 Yeah, and what happened to the money you made? 432 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,473 Why haven't you hung up your gold records? 433 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:27,017 Since when could you write a song? 434 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,062 There are perfectly good answers to those questions, 435 00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:32,564 but they'll have to wait for another night. 436 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:33,815 Now off to bed. 437 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,501 I can't remember the last time we were all together. 438 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:55,170 Last year on that stupid Dame Edna special. 439 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,506 And a-one and a-two 440 00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:58,674 and a-three. 441 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,008 ♪ Ba-bom, bom, bom ♪ 442 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:03,595 ♪ Baby on board ♪ 443 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,515 ♪ How I've adored ♪ 444 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:07,975 ♪ That sign ♪ 445 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:09,685 ♪ On my car's ♪ 446 00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:11,520 ♪ Windowpane ♪ 447 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:14,231 Hello! Human fly here. 448 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:16,775 Come on! I stayed up all night 449 00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:18,360 dyeing my underwear. 450 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:19,945 Extra, extra! 451 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:22,447 Be Sharps sing on rooftop! 452 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:23,824 What? Give me one of those. 453 00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,492 Wait a minute. 454 00:21:25,575 --> 00:21:27,369 There's nothing in here about the Be Sharps. 455 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,788 -Come back here! -Ha-ha! 456 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,794 It's been done. 457 00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:37,754 ♪ That window sign can't ♪ 458 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:39,423 ♪ Be ignored ♪ 459 00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:40,632 Pretty, huh, Chief? 460 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:44,344 It sure is, Lou. It sure is. 461 00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:45,637 Get the tear gas. 462 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:48,307 ♪ A trip to paradise ♪ 463 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:51,727 ♪ With my baby ♪ 464 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:55,647 ♪ On board ♪ 465 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:56,648 (applause) 466 00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:03,155 {\an8}HOMER: I'd like to thank you on behalf of the group, 467 00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:04,823 {\an8}and I hope we passed the audition. 468 00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:06,491 {\an8}(laughter) 469 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:09,661 {\an8}(Barney laughing) 470 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,872 {\an8}BARNEY: I don't get it. 471 00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:14,458 {\an8}♪♪ 472 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,324 Shh. 473 00:22:50,243 --> 00:22:53,580 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.