1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:05,755 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:18,893 -(chalk screeches) -(bell rings) 3 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,358 (work whistle blows) 4 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,739 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,168 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:47,255 (tires screech) 7 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,180 (tires screeching) 8 00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,809 (horn honks) 9 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,020 (tires screech) 10 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,440 D'oh! 11 00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:07,859 -Aah! -(tires screech) 12 00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:44,646 {\an8}MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, it's Up Late with McBain. 13 00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,732 {\an8}I'm your announcer Makrokuffen Fuerer Wolfkassel. 14 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:50,610 {\an8}And here's McBain. 15 00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:51,903 {\an8}(applause) 16 00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:57,742 {\an8}Ja, and thank you, ja. 17 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,077 {\an8}That's nice. 18 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,330 {\an8}Let's say hello to my music guy, Scoey. 19 00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:04,916 {\an8}(applause) 20 00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:07,418 {\an8}That is some outfit, Scoey. 21 00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,546 {\an8}It makes you look like a homosexual. 22 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,047 {\an8}(booing) 23 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,676 {\an8}Whoa, maybe you all are homosexuals too. 24 00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:16,261 {\an8}(booing) 25 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,971 {\an8}This is horrible. 26 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:20,640 {\an8}The Fox network has sunk to a new low. 27 00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:22,684 {\an8}Lisa, you got a letter. 28 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,854 {\an8}It's from my pen pal, Anya. 29 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:29,858 "Dear Lisa, as I write this, I am very sad. 30 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,861 Our president has been overthrown, and--" 31 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,822 MAN: "Replaced by the benevolent General Krull. 32 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:39,534 "All hail Krull and his glorious new regime. 33 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,703 Sincerely, little girl." 34 00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:42,871 Oh. 35 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,622 You got a letter, too, Bart. 36 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,753 (gasps) 37 00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:12,859 ♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show ♪ 38 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,712 (screams) 39 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:56,819 (laughing) 40 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,696 Bart, what's wrong with you? 41 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,076 Oh, my God! 42 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,536 Someone's trying to kill me! 43 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,706 Oh, wait. It's for Bart. 44 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:15,838 MARGE: This one's done in different handwriting. 45 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,548 Oh, I wrote that one 46 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:21,177 after Bart somehow put this tattoo on my butt. 47 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:25,181 (laughter) 48 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,849 Ha-ha. 49 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,559 But who'd want to hurt me? 50 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,353 I'm this century's Dennis the Menace. 51 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:33,523 It's probably the person you least suspect. 52 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,858 That's good, Dad. 53 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,568 I say we call Matlock. 54 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,112 He'll find the culprit. 55 00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:41,906 It's probably that evil Gavin Macleod 56 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,825 or George "Goober" Lindsey. 57 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:46,160 Grandpa, Matlock's not real. 58 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,704 Neither are my teeth, 59 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,998 but I can still eat corn on the cob 60 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,541 if someone cuts it off 61 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,126 and smushes it into a fine paste. 62 00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,711 Now that's good eatin'! 63 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,798 I checked around. 64 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:01,592 The girls are calling you "Fatty fat-fat-fat," 65 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:04,470 and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants, 66 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,514 but nobody's trying to kill you. 67 00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:08,516 Oh, that's good. 68 00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:11,352 (girls chanting) Fatty fat fat-fat. 69 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,146 Fatty fatty fat-fat. 70 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:16,024 All right. This is dedicated to Bart Simpson 71 00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:18,651 with the message, "I am coming to kill you 72 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,820 slowly and painfully." 73 00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:22,113 (maniacal laughter) 74 00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:23,156 ♪ Wipeout ♪ 75 00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:24,574 ♪♪ ("Wipeout" plays) 76 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:36,627 -Bart, I'm going to get you-- -(gasps) 77 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,379 ...some ice cream at the store, 78 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,840 since I'm saving so much money on diet cola. 79 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:48,306 -(Bart gasps) -Say your prayers, Simpson. 80 00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:50,975 Because the schools can't force you like they should. 81 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,689 Maude, these new finger razors make hedge trimming 82 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,650 as much fun as sitting through church. 83 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:08,701 You're going to be my murder victim, Bart, 84 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,037 in our school production of Lizzy Borden 85 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,914 starring Martin Prince as Lizzy. 86 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:16,167 40 whacks with a wet noodle, Bart. 87 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,794 I'd like to help you, ma'am, 88 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,463 but I'm afraid there's no law 89 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,839 against mailing threatening letters. 90 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,383 I'm pretty sure there is. 91 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:26,969 Hah! The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle-- 92 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,638 Hey, she's right, Chief. 93 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,224 Well, shut my mouth. It's also illegal 94 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,476 to put squirrels down your pants 95 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,728 for the purposes of gambling. 96 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,814 (laughter) 97 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,942 Boys, knock it off. 98 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:43,152 (squirrels chittering) 99 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,904 Bart, I figured it out. 100 00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:46,781 Who's someone you've been making 101 00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,699 irritating phone calls to for years? 102 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:51,911 -Linda Lavin? -No, someone who didn't deserve it. 103 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,039 Hello. Moe? 104 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,125 We know you're the one behind this, 105 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,918 so knock it off or we're going to the cops. 106 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,712 No, no. I'll take care of it. 107 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:02,922 Okay, it's over. 108 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,632 Get them out of here. 109 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,762 All right, andale, andale! 110 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,515 You're out there somewhere. 111 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:16,227 But where? Where? 112 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,646 (thunderclap) 113 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:33,244 (laughing) 114 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,374 "Dear 'Life in these United States,' 115 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,710 a funny thing happened to me..." 116 00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:46,466 Use a pen, Sideshow Bob. 117 00:07:57,685 --> 00:08:00,313 Parole granted. 118 00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:02,648 Next up for parole, Bob Terwilliger, 119 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,525 A.K.A. Sideshow Bob. 120 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:05,902 Take care, Snake. 121 00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,528 May the next time we meet 122 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,448 be under more felicitous circumstances. 123 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,408 -Gah? -Take care. 124 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,618 Bah. 125 00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:16,996 Sideshow Bob has no decency. 126 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,540 He called me Chief "Pig-ham." 127 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,542 (audience laughing) 128 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,545 Now I get it. Good. 129 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:28,341 Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon. 130 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,550 (audience murmurs) 131 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:32,011 How many people in this court 132 00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,763 are thinking of killing her right now? 133 00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:36,974 Be honest. 134 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,189 (gasps) 135 00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:46,067 Ah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up. 136 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:50,279 Robert, if released, would you pose any threat 137 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,198 to one Bart Simpson? 138 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:53,407 Bart Simpson? 139 00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,868 Ha! The spirited little scamp 140 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:59,080 who twice foiled my evil schemes 141 00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:03,751 and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hellhole? 142 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,629 We object to the term urine-soaked hellhole 143 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,674 when you could have said pee-pee soaked heckhole. 144 00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,092 Cheerfully withdrawn. 145 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,636 What about that tattoo on your chest? 146 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,972 Doesn't it say, "Die, Bart, Die"? 147 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:20,601 No. That's German for vie, Bart, vie. 148 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,979 (laughing) 149 00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,065 No one who speaks German can be an evil man. 150 00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,984 Parole granted. 151 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,702 ERNEST: Wow! Public library. 152 00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,829 Let's stay here for a while, Vern. 153 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:41,956 (loud laughter) 154 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,044 (coughing) 155 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,421 That man is so rude. 156 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:49,797 Yeah. 157 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,007 (laughing) 158 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,759 (laughing) 159 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,177 If you don't mind, 160 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,179 we're trying to watch the mov-- 161 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,223 ERNEST: Hey, Vern. 162 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,142 Help me get my head out of this toilet. 163 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:02,643 (toilet flushes) 164 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:06,647 (loud laughing) 165 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,524 Oh, really, now. That's too much. 166 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,610 Ah! Sideshow Bob! 167 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,487 -You wrote me those letters. -You awful man. 168 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,905 Stay away from my son. 169 00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,032 Oh, I'll stay away 170 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,576 from your son, all right. 171 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,412 -Stay away forever. -Oh, no. 172 00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:22,955 Wait a minute. That's no good. 173 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,334 Oh! 174 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,464 Wait. I've got a good one now. 175 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:34,216 Marge, say, "Stay away from my son" again. 176 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,552 -No! -(groaning) 177 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,441 And turn and flex and shake and bounce. 178 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:53,444 And turn and flex and shake and bounce. 179 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:04,622 Now Sideshow Bob can't get in without me knowing. 180 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,415 And once a man is in your home, 181 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,377 anything you do to him is nice and legal. 182 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:13,172 Is that so? Oh, Flanders? 183 00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,716 Won't you join me in my kitchen? 184 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:16,884 (sinister laughing) 185 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,219 (door opens) 186 00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,554 Uh, doesn't work if you invite 'em. 187 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:21,639 Hi-dily hey! 188 00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:23,432 -Go home. -Toodle-ly doo. 189 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,477 Now, don't you fret. When I'm through, 190 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,313 he won't set foot in this town again. 191 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,899 I can be very, very persuasive. 192 00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:33,401 (gun cocks) 193 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,277 (siren wails in distance) 194 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,655 -Come on. Leave town. -No. 195 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,657 I'll be your friend. 196 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,575 -No. -Oh, you're mean. 197 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:44,078 The following neighborhood residents 198 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:46,747 will not be killed by me-- 199 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:47,748 Ned Flanders, 200 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,500 Maude Flanders. 201 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,960 Oh, isn't that nice? 202 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,503 Homer Simpson, 203 00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:53,963 Marge Simpson, 204 00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,047 Lisa Simpson, 205 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,966 that little baby Simpson. 206 00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,843 That is all. 207 00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,469 Woo-hoo! Did you hear, Bart? 208 00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:02,888 Oh. 209 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:09,603 Don't worry, Mrs. Simpson. 210 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:10,938 We've helped hundreds of people in danger. 211 00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:12,732 We'll give you a new name, 212 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:13,899 a new job, new identities. 213 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,693 Whoo! I want to be John Elway. 214 00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,570 (crowd cheers) 215 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,613 ANNOUNCER: Elway takes the snap 216 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,490 and runs it in for a touchdown! 217 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,660 Thanks to Elway's patented last-second magic, 218 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,246 the final score of Super Bowl XXX: 219 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:30,499 Denver 7, San Francisco, 56. 220 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,836 -Woo-hoo! -I don't think this is such a good idea. 221 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,672 This isn't just because of Sideshow Bob. 222 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,175 It's a chance to turn around all our stinking lives. 223 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:42,011 I'll be Gus, the loveable chimney sweep. 224 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:45,848 Clean as a whistle, sharp as a thistle. Best in all Westminster. Yeah! 225 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,558 -Shut up, boy. -We have places 226 00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:49,769 your family can hide in peace and security. 227 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:54,148 Cape Fear, Terror Lake, New Horror Field, Screamville. 228 00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:55,316 Ooh! Ice Creamville. 229 00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:57,651 -No. Screamville. -(shrieks) 230 00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,528 Tell you what, sir. 231 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,448 From now on, you'll be Homer Thompson at Terror Lake. 232 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,492 Let's just practice a bit, hmm? 233 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,952 When I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson," 234 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,579 -you'll say, "Hi." -Check. 235 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:11,457 Hello, Mr. Thompson. 236 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:14,877 Remember now, your name is Homer Thompson. 237 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,046 -I got ya. -Hello, Mr. Thompson. 238 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,093 (groaning) 239 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,721 Now, when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson" 240 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:29,725 and press down on your foot, you smile and nod. 241 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,520 -No problem. -Hello, Mr. Thompson. 242 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:38,484 I think he's talking to you. 243 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:43,280 -Here you go. -Oh, what a cute convertible. 244 00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,324 You guys at the Bureau thought of everything. 245 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:48,118 Hey, look, the F.B.I. Light Opera Society 246 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,246 sings The Complete Gilbert and Sullivan. 247 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,918 ♪ Three little maids from school are we ♪ 248 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,087 ♪ Pert as a schoolgirl well can be ♪ 249 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,172 ♪ Filled to the brim with girlish glee ♪ 250 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,799 ♪ Three little girls from school ♪ 251 00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:03,676 ♪ Everything is a source of fun ♪ 252 00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:06,595 ♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha ♪ 253 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:07,555 (laughing) 254 00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:09,932 (thud) 255 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,934 Lousy speed bumps. 256 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,435 Ooh! 257 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,728 Oh! 258 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,772 (slurping) 259 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,316 Uh, this coffee's too hot. 260 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,526 SIDESHOW BOB: Ow! 261 00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:24,572 Hey, kids, want to drive 262 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,031 through that cactus patch? 263 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,032 -Yeah! -Yeah! 264 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,617 SIDESHOW BOB: No. 265 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,744 Well, two against one. 266 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:34,039 SIDESHOW BOB: Oh! Ow! Oh! Ow! 267 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:34,999 Ow! Ow! Ow! 268 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,214 {\an8}♪ The Thompsons ♪ 269 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,608 {\an8}Wow, a houseboat. 270 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,067 {\an8}You know, the great thing is, 271 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,736 {\an8}if you don't like your neighbors, 272 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:07,031 {\an8}you can just pull up the anchor and sail someplace else. 273 00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:11,160 {\an8}(laughter) 274 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,587 (groans) 275 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,131 (groans) 276 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:27,718 (groans) 277 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,348 (groans) 278 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,726 (groans) 279 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,271 (groans) 280 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,524 (groans) 281 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,445 (groans) 282 00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:49,531 -(blow landing) -(faint groaning) 283 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,033 Homer, where's the dog? 284 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,660 Uh, I tied him up out back. 285 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:55,704 (panting) 286 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,790 (sighs) 287 00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:00,668 We've left it all behind. 288 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,628 How can you make a clean break 289 00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:03,921 with your life? 290 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,090 Relax, Marge. 291 00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,509 I tied up all the loose ends before we left. 292 00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:11,053 Hello! 293 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,222 Hello! 294 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,933 You have my pills! 295 00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:17,726 Hello! 296 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,813 I'm cold, and there are wolves after me. 297 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:24,650 (howling in distance) 298 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,696 SIDESHOW BOB: Hello, Bart. 299 00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,823 (screaming) 300 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,992 Down here, Bart. 301 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,704 Ow! 302 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:37,955 What do you want? 303 00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:39,748 Surely there's no harm 304 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,084 in laying in the middle of a public street. 305 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,546 (loud groaning) 306 00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,426 -(trumpeting) -Not the elephants! No! 307 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,845 -(crunching) -(groaning) 308 00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:55,889 -(splatting) -(groaning) 309 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,350 (crunching and splatting) 310 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,895 -(groaning) -(splatting and crunching) 311 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,606 (groaning) 312 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:05,691 (bird chirping) 313 00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:07,401 (glugging) 314 00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:09,486 Ah! 315 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,447 Mom, Dad, I saw Sideshow Bob, 316 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,865 and he threatened to kill me! 317 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,241 Bart, don't interrupt. 318 00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:15,993 Homer, this is serious. 319 00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:17,411 Oh, it is not. 320 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:23,709 Roman numeral III: 321 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,794 surprise boy in bed-- 322 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,796 (slurping) 323 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,091 ...and, uh, disembowel him. 324 00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,761 No, I don't like that "bowel" in there. 325 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,596 Gut him. 326 00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,765 Ah! Le mot juste! 327 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:40,601 (moaning) 328 00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:43,562 (creaking) 329 00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,814 Bart, you want some brownie before you go to bed? 330 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,649 (screaming) 331 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,693 Come on, let me cut you a brownie while they're still hot. 332 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,321 Dad, I'm kind of edgy right now. 333 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,948 I'd appreciate you not coming in my room 334 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,367 screaming and brandishing a butcher knife. 335 00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,119 Why? 336 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,954 Oh, right. 337 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,831 This Sideshow Bob thing. 338 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,541 I'm sorry, boy. 339 00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:10,547 Bart, you want to see my new chainsaw and hockey mask? 340 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:11,590 -(screaming) -(saw whirring) 341 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,217 Oh, sorry. 342 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,427 What am I thinking? 343 00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,889 (water gurgling) 344 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,232 (groans) 345 00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,572 (door creaking) 346 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,324 Hello, Bart. 347 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:38,784 Mom! Dad! 348 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,786 Your family can't help you now. 349 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:43,080 (grunting) 350 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:46,583 -(snoring) -Oh, no! Dad's been drugged. 351 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:47,793 No, he hasn't. 352 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,849 Uh-oh. 353 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:06,019 (crackling) 354 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,604 Ohh! 355 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,735 -Oh, yeah. -Well, Bart. 356 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,696 Any last requests? 357 00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:18,574 Well, there is one, but... 358 00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:22,995 -Nah. -No, go on. 359 00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:26,123 Well, you have such a beautiful voice. 360 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,083 Guilty as charged. 361 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,128 Uh-huh. Anyway, I was wondering if you could sing 362 00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:34,006 the entire score of the H.M.S. Pinafore. 363 00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,799 Very well, Bart. 364 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:39,553 I shall send you to heaven before I send you to hell. 365 00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,139 And a-two and a-three and... 366 00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:44,141 ♪ We sail the ocean blue ♪ 367 00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:46,602 ♪ And our saucy ship's a beauty ♪ 368 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,104 ♪ We are sober men, and true ♪ 369 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,523 ♪ And attentive to our duty ♪ 370 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,484 ♪ I'm poor little buttercup ♪ 371 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,612 ♪ Poor little buttercup ♪ 372 00:19:56,695 --> 00:20:00,532 ♪ Though I could never tell why ♪ 373 00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,161 ♪ What, never? No, never ♪ 374 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,330 ♪ What, never? ♪ 375 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:08,165 ♪ Hardly ever ♪ 376 00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:11,376 ♪ He's hardly ever sick at sea ♪ 377 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:16,340 ♪ For he himself has said it ♪ 378 00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:21,261 ♪ And it's clearly to his credit ♪ 379 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:26,058 ♪ That he is an Englishman ♪ 380 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:28,101 ♪ He remains ♪ 381 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:34,775 ♪ An Englishman ♪ 382 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,832 And now, the final curtain. 383 00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:57,506 (guns cocking) 384 00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:59,883 Hold it right there, Sideshow Bob. 385 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:00,968 You're under arrest. 386 00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:03,553 By Lucifer's beard! 387 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:07,557 Uh, yeah. It's a good thing you drifted by this brothel. 388 00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:12,562 I knew I had to buy some time. So I asked him 389 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:15,065 to sing the score from the H.M.S. Pinafore. 390 00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:18,860 Ooh, a plan fiendishly clever in its in-tric-acies. 391 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,445 Take him away, boys. 392 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,114 Hey, I'm the chief here. 393 00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:23,824 Bake him away, toys. 394 00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:24,992 What did you say, Chief? 395 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,493 Do what the kid says. 396 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:33,041 Hmm. It's so good to be home again. 397 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,836 Look what happened without my pills! 398 00:21:35,919 --> 00:21:37,462 (gasping) 399 00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:40,132 Bart, run upstairs, get Grampa's medicine. 400 00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:45,429 Not so fast. I want to court this fair young maiden. 401 00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:47,639 GRAMPA: There's something you should know about me. 402 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,891 JASPER: I've got Steve and Eydie tickets. 403 00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,268 I'm all yours! 404 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:52,477 (kissing sound) 405 00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,938 {\an8}♪♪ 406 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:39,316 Shh! 407 00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:45,864 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.