1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,044 (thunder crashes) 2 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,130 ♪♪ 3 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,348 {\an8}(ghostly shriek) 4 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,437 (evil laughter) 5 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,523 (gunfire) 6 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,985 (all moaning) 7 00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,915 Paintings: 8 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:44,502 Lifeless images rendered in colorful goop. 9 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,339 But at night, they take on a life of their own. 10 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,050 They become portals to hell... 11 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,093 so scary and horrible and gruesome that-- 12 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:55,221 Bart, you should warn people this episode is very frightening. 13 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:56,890 Maybe they'd rather listen to that old 14 00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:58,975 "War of the Worlds" broadcast on N.P.R., hmm? 15 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,269 -Yes, Mother. -Good. 16 00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:04,773 Now, you hold Maggie. I'm going to buy some earrings at the gift shop. 17 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:09,444 (sighs) The subject of our first painting tonight is the most... 18 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:13,281 foul, evil, vicious, diabolical beast to stalk the earth. 19 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:15,408 Of course, I refer to-- 20 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,202 (muffled) 21 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:20,830 The devil. 22 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:29,339 {\an8}And next in our fall catalog-- we love this-- 23 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:32,342 {\an8}it is a vision in raspberry cream. 24 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,844 {\an8}(applause) 25 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:38,598 {\an8}Ohh! Pure genius. 26 00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:41,476 {\an8}(gurgling) 27 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:46,397 {\an8}Oh! And now to make the leap from dreams to reality. 28 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:47,982 {\an8}-(shrieks) -Sorry, Homer. 29 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,276 {\an8}While you were daydreaming, we ate all the doughnuts. 30 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,238 {\an8}Well, there were a few left, but we chucked 'em at an old man for kicks. 31 00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,866 {\an8}Damn buzzards! I ain't dead yet! 32 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:01,121 {\an8}All right. Stay calm. Remember your training. 33 00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:08,461 "Dear Homer, I.O.U. one emergency doughnut. Signed, Homer." 34 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:11,339 {\an8}Bastard! He's always one step ahead. 35 00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:14,509 {\an8}Oh! I'd sell my soul for a doughnut! 36 00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:17,387 {\an8}-(rumbling) -Well, that can be arranged. 37 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,515 {\an8}Flanders! You're the devil? 38 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:23,351 {\an8}(chuckles) It's always the one you least suspect. 39 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,478 {\an8}Now, many people offer to sell their souls... 40 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:28,106 {\an8}without reflecting upon the grave ramifica-- 41 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,733 {\an8}-Do you have a doughnut or not? -Coming up. 42 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,027 {\an8}Just sign here. Careful, hot pen. 43 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,867 Hmm. Who's that goat-legged fellow? I like the cut of his jib. 44 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,161 Uh, Prince of Darkness, sir. He's your 11:00. 45 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,292 (gasps) Ah! 46 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:50,837 Now, remember, the instant you finish it, I own your soul for-- 47 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,466 Hey, wait, if I don't finish this last bite, 48 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,136 you don't get my soul, do you? 49 00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,304 Uh, technically no, but--- 50 00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:02,599 I'm smarter than the devil! I'm smarter than the dev-- 51 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:05,602 You are not smarter than me! 52 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:09,355 I'll see you in hell yet, Homer Simpson! 53 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,444 Not likely. (chuckles) 54 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:20,158 (muttering) 55 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,619 Hm. Hm. Hm. 56 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,913 Mmm! 57 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:28,875 Mmm! Forbidden doughnut. 58 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,962 -Hmm? -Well, well. Finishing something? 59 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,006 (screams) 60 00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:36,966 (whimpering) 61 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,429 (gasps) 62 00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:43,306 -Homer, did you eat that doughnut? -No. 63 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:50,021 Your wide behind won't save you this time. Hey, Bart. 64 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:51,689 -Hey. -Wait! 65 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:54,067 Doesn't my father have the right to a fair trial? 66 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:57,946 Oh, you Americans with your "due process" And "fair trials." 67 00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:02,033 This is always so much easier in Mexico. All right. Very well. 68 00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:05,536 We'll have the trial tomorrow at the stroke of midnight. 69 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,665 Till then, you're going to spend the day in hell! 70 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:15,421 (screaming) 71 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,219 (sighs) That wasn't so bad. 72 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:23,179 Huh? Ow! Ow! Ow! 73 00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:33,439 So, you like doughnuts, eh? 74 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,441 -Uh-huh. -Well, 75 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:38,111 have all the doughnuts in the world! 76 00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,113 (cackling) 77 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,834 More. Mmm! 78 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:56,963 I don't understand it. James Coco went mad in 15 minutes. 79 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,591 (chiming) 80 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,260 (yowls) 81 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:04,846 Ooh! 82 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,098 -Homer, are you all right? -No. 83 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:08,808 Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. 84 00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,185 I watched Matlock in a bar last night. 85 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,104 The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it. 86 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,488 Hear ye! Hear ye! 87 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:26,200 The Court of Infernal Affairs is now in session. 88 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,494 Very well. But first, some ground rules. 89 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,080 Number one: We get bathroom breaks every half hour. 90 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,292 Agreed. Number two: The jury will be chosen by me. 91 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,085 Agreed. No, wait! 92 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:40,423 Silence! I give you the jury of the damned! 93 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:44,594 Benedict Arnold. Lizzie Borden. Richard Nixon. 94 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:48,389 But I'm not dead yet. In fact, I just wrote an article for Redbook. 95 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:51,059 -Hey, listen, I did a favor for you. -Yes, master. 96 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:55,021 John Wilkes booth. Blackbeard the Pirate. John Dillinger. 97 00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:58,691 And the starting line of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers. 98 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,402 -(gasps) -(chattering) 99 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:13,039 I'm sorry, Mr. Blackbeard. We're low on chairs, and this is the last one. 100 00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:16,667 Arr! This chair be high, says I. 101 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:22,632 (clears throat) I hold here a contract between myself and one Homer Simpson, 102 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:25,718 pledging me his soul for a doughnut! 103 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:30,556 Which I delivered! And it was scrum-didilly-umptious. 104 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,434 I simply ask for what is mine. 105 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:37,897 -(murmuring) -That was a right pretty speech, sir. 106 00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,774 But I ask you, what is a contract? 107 00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:41,859 Webster's defines it as 108 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,028 "An agreement under the law which is unbreakable." 109 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,739 "Which is unbreakable"! 110 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,619 Excuse me. I must use the restroom. 111 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:55,331 (door slams) 112 00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:58,918 Uh, Mr. Hutz? 113 00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:05,883 Homer Simpson, I have no choice... 114 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,719 but to sentence you to an eternity of-- 115 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,764 Wait! Before you send him to hell, there's something you should see. 116 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,017 That's a photo of Homer and me at our wedding. 117 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:18,938 Wait a minute. You got married in an emergency room? 118 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,774 Well, Homer ate the entire wedding cake by himself... 119 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,776 before the wedding. 120 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,779 (laughter) 121 00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,739 Read the back! The back! 122 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:32,452 Arr. 'tis some kind of treasure map. 123 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:35,997 -You idiot, you can't read. -Aye, 'tis true. 124 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,833 My debauchery was my way of compensatin'. 125 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:41,794 "Dear Marge, you have given me your hand in marriage. 126 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:45,214 "All I can give you in return is my soul, 127 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,675 which I pledge to you forever." 128 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,344 (murmuring) 129 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,430 We've heard enough. Your Honor, 130 00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:55,141 we find that Homer Simpson's soul is legally the property... 131 00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:57,143 of Marge Simpson and not of the devil. 132 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,978 (groans) 133 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:01,439 -Yea! -Whoo-hoo-- Ow! 134 00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:06,611 All right, Simpson. You get your soul back. 135 00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:11,824 But let that ill-gotten doughnut be forever on your head. 136 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,702 (Homer screams) 137 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,540 (Homer chewing) 138 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,754 -Homer, stop picking at it. -Oh! 139 00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:27,381 But I'm so sweet and tasty. 140 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,383 (sighs) Well, time to go to work. 141 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,636 Dad, I wouldn't go outside if I were you. 142 00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:34,555 {\an8}Don't worry, boys. He's gotta come out of there sometime. 143 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:41,395 The next exhibit in our ghoulish gallery is entitled-- 144 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,564 the "School Bus"? 145 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:47,360 Oh! Oh! They must mean the "Ghoul Bus." 146 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:50,196 {\an8}Nope. It says right there, "School bus." 147 00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:53,658 {\an8}Well, there's nothing scarier than having to go to school. 148 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,454 (sighs) 149 00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:10,132 Hey, Bart, look! Krusty trading cards! 150 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:13,469 The long-awaited eighth series! 151 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,805 {\an8}BART: "Krusty visits relatives in Annapolis, Maryland." 152 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,808 {\an8}"Krusty poses for trading card photo." 153 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:23,187 Hmm. He seems to be running a little low on ideas. 154 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:27,400 -Well, at least you got the gum. -Oww! I cut my cheek! 155 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,821 Whoa! Whoa! 156 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,615 -(screaming) -(horn blaring) 157 00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:35,950 (screaming) 158 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,120 Oh-- I hope this is sweat. 159 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,789 Bart, what's wrong? 160 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:46,586 I just had a vision of my own horrible, fiery death. 161 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,670 And? 162 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:50,089 Lisa, your brother's obviously had a nightmare. 163 00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,174 Don't worry, honey. The scary part's over. 164 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,260 (horn blaring) 165 00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:57,263 Marge, look at all this great stuff I found at the marina! 166 00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:59,473 It was just sitting in some guy's boat. 167 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:00,474 -(horn blaring) -Aah! 168 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,645 -(gasp) -Hello, Simpson. 169 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,897 I'm riding the bus because Mother hid my car keys 170 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,191 to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. 171 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,276 She was right to do it. 172 00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:13,321 Excuse me. Bart's a little upset this morning, 173 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:15,781 so could everyone please be extra-nice to him? 174 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,908 (all laughing) 175 00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:21,203 Hey, where's your diaper, baby? 176 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:24,582 {\an8}Thank goodness he's drawn attention away from my shirt. 177 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,253 (groaning) 178 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,471 (snarling) 179 00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:40,890 (gasps) Milhouse! Milhouse, wake up. 180 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:43,726 -Quick, look out the window. -No way, Bart. 181 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:48,230 If I lean over, I leave myself open to wedgies, wet willies, 182 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,191 or even the dreaded rear admiral. 183 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:53,778 -(grunts) -Otto, you gotta do something! 184 00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:55,655 There's a gremlin on the side of the bus! 185 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:01,410 Hey, no problemo, Bart-dude. I'll get rid of it. 186 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,998 {\an8}No! Oh, no. I just made my last payment. 187 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,126 Oh. 188 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,512 (screams) Everybody! 189 00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:21,597 There's a monster on the side of the bus! 190 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,599 (yelling) 191 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:27,186 Hey, there's no monster. 192 00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:30,064 -You're deceptive. -I don't see anything. 193 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:32,817 Hey, who's driving the bus? 194 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,777 Ooh! Una momento, por favor. 195 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,030 Foolish earthlings. 196 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,908 Frightened of a creature that does not exist. 197 00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:43,994 (laughing loudly) 198 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,500 (grunting) 199 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,627 -(gasps) -(groans) 200 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,882 Now, I've gotten word that a child is using his imagination, 201 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,551 and I've come to put a stop to it. 202 00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,511 No! No, it's true! There's a monster on the bus. 203 00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:02,388 The only monster on this bus 204 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,807 is a lack of proper respect for the rules. 205 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,225 Oh! 206 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,312 (groaning) 207 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:17,194 (screaming) 208 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,613 Ach. Me mule wouldn't walk in the mud. 209 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,866 So I had to put 17 bullets in him. 210 00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:25,661 (groaning) 211 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,664 You believe me, don't you? You're my friend who believes me. 212 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,333 Sweet, trustworthy Milhouse. 213 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,420 Actually, Bart, you're kinda creepin' me out. 214 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:36,672 Uh, I think I'm gonna go sit, uh, 215 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:40,050 w-with that foreign exchange student. 216 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:44,805 Oh, guten tag! Would you care for a bite of my vengelerstrasse bar? 217 00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:47,141 I also have a bag of marzipan joyjoys! 218 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,614 The gremlin's takin' off the wheel! 219 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:04,533 Stop the bus or we're all gonna die! Aaah! 220 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,495 Take me bridle and lash his hands to the seat! 221 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,918 Would you like another lick of my flavor wax? 222 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:15,878 Uh, sure. 223 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,632 Well, now that we're friends, Uter, 224 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:21,884 how 'bout loosening these straps, huh? 225 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,844 Ja, das ist gut. 226 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,854 (groans) 227 00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,782 (screaming) 228 00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:47,284 (all screaming) 229 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,955 -(screaming) -(gasps) 230 00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:53,499 -(growling) -(grunting) 231 00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:55,543 -Hey, boy! -(horn blaring) 232 00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:02,258 Pull, Willie! Pull! 233 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:05,719 I'm doin' all the pullin', ya blouse-wearin' poodle walker! 234 00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:20,317 Oh, Dear Lord! It's some sort of hideous monster. 235 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:26,115 Aw, isn't that cute? He's trying to claw my eyes out. 236 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,207 Whoa! 237 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,209 Gadzooks! 238 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,795 Look at the bus! I was right, I tell ya! I was right! 239 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,840 Right or wrong, your behavior was still disruptive, young man. 240 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,551 Perhaps spending the remainder of your life in a madhouse... 241 00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:47,970 -will teach you some manners. -Ha-ha! 242 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:55,436 (sighs) At least now I can get some rest. 243 00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,398 Hidilly-ho, Bart! 244 00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,817 (screams) 245 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:10,618 We come now to the final and most terrifying painting of the evening. 246 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:14,830 To even gaze upon it is to go mad. 247 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:19,960 (shrieks) They're dogs, and they're playing poker! 248 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,296 Aaah! (crazed laughter) 249 00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:30,220 We had a story to go with this painting, but it was far too intense. 250 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,723 So we just threw something together with vampires. Enjoy! 251 00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:39,063 KENT BROCKMAN (on TV): Another local peasant has been found dead, 252 00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:42,107 drained of his blood, with two teeth marks on his throat. 253 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:46,946 This black cape was found on the scene. Police are baffled. 254 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,823 We think we're dealing with a supernatural being, 255 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,659 most likely a mummy. 256 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,577 As a precaution, I've ordered 257 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:57,623 the Egyptian wing of the Springfield Museum destroyed. 258 00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,541 Nice work, Ed. 259 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,335 No, no, they're wrong! 260 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:04,088 The creature they seek is the walking undead. 261 00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:06,465 Nosferatu. Das vampyr. 262 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,636 A vampire! 263 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:14,848 (chuckles) Lisa, vampires are make-believe. 264 00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:17,434 Just like elves, gremlins and Eskimos. 265 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,103 In a completely unrelated story, 266 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:20,646 Montgomery Burns has just closed a deal... 267 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,564 to buy the Springfield Blood Bank. 268 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:26,110 Oh, I'm very excited about this deal. 269 00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:29,571 What? Oh. Precious blood. 270 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,365 {\an8}Hmm. Business deal. 271 00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:35,953 It sure was nice of Mr. Burns to invite us... 272 00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:38,664 for a midnight dinner at his country house in... 273 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,499 Pennsylvania. 274 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:43,293 (thunderclap) 275 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,587 Ah, there's something fishy about this whole setup. 276 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,132 Lisa, stop being so suspicious. 277 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:50,509 Did everyone wash their necks like Mr. Burns asked? 278 00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:52,761 -Yes. -Sure did. 279 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:59,977 -(doorbell chimes) -BURNS (over speaker): Welcome. Come in. 280 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,938 Ah, fresh victims for my ever-growing army of the undead. 281 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,690 SMITHERS: Sir, you have to let go of the button. 282 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,483 BURNS: Oh, son of a bit-- 283 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:17,453 Well, if it isn't my good friends, the, uh-- 284 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:21,081 -Simpson family, Master. -Simpson, eh? Excellent. 285 00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,170 Dad, do you notice anything strange? 286 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:28,213 Yeah, his hairdo looks so queer. 287 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,758 -I heard that! -It was the boy! 288 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,594 (gasps) Ooh! Punch! 289 00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:36,513 Eww. Dad, this is blood. 290 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,807 Correction-- free blood. 291 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:44,521 Whoops. Bart and I have to go wash up. 292 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:47,483 But you didn't get any on me-- ugh-- wh-- 293 00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:49,818 Lisa, Burns isn't a vampire. 294 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:53,614 And even if he was, we're not gonna stumble on his secret hiding place. 295 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,787 You're probably right. Let's just go back. (gasps) 296 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,667 -Satisfied? -Big deal. 297 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,212 It's no different from the basement in Grampa's rest home. 298 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,671 Look! (gasps) 299 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,927 Oh, my God! 300 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:19,098 (stammering) 301 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,642 Please, Bart. I've seen your stupid Shemp. 302 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:26,855 Nyung, nyung, nyung, nyung! 303 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,608 Yeah, I've seen your Curly too. 304 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:33,112 -(growls) -(screams) 305 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,537 I know I really shouldn't, but when am I gonna be here again? 306 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,873 Whee! 307 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,543 -(growling) -(screaming) 308 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,674 Well, if it isn't little... 309 00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,634 uh, boy. 310 00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:59,221 (screaming) 311 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:03,892 {\an8}Mom, Dad! Mr. Burns is a vampire, and he has Bart! 312 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,978 {\an8}BURNS: Why, Bart is right here. 313 00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:08,939 Hello, Mother. Hello, Father. 314 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:11,525 I missed you during my uneventful absence. 315 00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:13,944 Oh, Lisa, you and your stories. 316 00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:17,156 "Bart is a vampire." "Beer kills brain cells." 317 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,074 Now, let's go back to that 318 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,160 building thingy 319 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,620 where our beds and TV is. 320 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,125 (muttering) 321 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:30,460 (tapping) 322 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,714 (screaming) 323 00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:37,134 Come join us, Lisa. It's so cool. 324 00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:40,470 You get to stay up all night drinking blood. 325 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,389 And if you say you're a vampire, 326 00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:44,892 you get a free small soda at the movies. 327 00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,852 No! No! 328 00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:50,397 Lisa, it's not like you have a choice here. 329 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,735 (screams) 330 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:57,696 Bart! How many times have I told you not to bite your sist-- 331 00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,199 (gasps) Wait a minute! You are a vampire! 332 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,868 Quick! We have to kill the boy! 333 00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,912 How'd you know he's a vampire? 334 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,080 He's a vampire? Aaah! 335 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,708 (cackling) 336 00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:12,586 Homer, we gotta do something. Today, he's drinking people's blood. 337 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:14,588 Tomorrow, he could be smoking. 338 00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:17,925 The only way to get Bart back is to kill the head vampire, 339 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,927 Mr. Burns. 340 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:23,472 Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? 341 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:26,725 This is dangerous. 342 00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:28,560 I wish we could have found a sitter for Maggie. 343 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,812 (gasps) Super Fun Happy Slide! 344 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,649 -No, Dad. -Oh! I guess killing will be fun enough. 345 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:38,946 You must drive this stake right through his heart. 346 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:47,162 Take that, vile fiend! 347 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,167 Uh, Dad, that's his crotch. 348 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,127 (laughs) Oh, sorry. 349 00:20:56,713 --> 00:21:01,301 -(screaming) No! -(groaning) 350 00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:06,598 (exhales) 351 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,226 -You're fired! -D'oh! 352 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:13,355 It's so nice having everything back to normal. 353 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:17,442 I'm a vampire, and I've come to suck your blood. 354 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,444 Blah! Oh-- 355 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,571 This cape is giving me a rash. 356 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:24,533 -Grampa's a vampire? -We're all vampires. 357 00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:26,952 But, no, we killed Mr. Burns. 358 00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:29,621 You have to kill the head vampire. 359 00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:31,915 You're the head vampire? 360 00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:34,710 No, I'm the head vampire! 361 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:38,005 (laughs) 362 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:39,756 -Mom? -Well, I do have a life 363 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,383 outside this house, you know. 364 00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:43,844 -(screams) -(hissing) 365 00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:46,763 Happy Halloween, everybody! 366 00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:50,058 ♪♪ (vocalizing: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing") 367 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:05,615 {\an8}♪♪ 368 00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:50,285 -(woman screaming) -♪♪ (macabre organ) 369 00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:56,249 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.