﻿1
00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:06,548
{\an8}<i>♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

2
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:07,716
(tires screeching)

3
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:10,969
D'oh!

4
00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:13,013
-Aah!
-(tires screech)

5
00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,989
{\an8}-(vocalizes)
-Quit it, Bart.

6
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,700
{\an8}Quit it. Quit it.

7
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:36,703
{\an8}Quit it! Mom!
Bart's making faces.

8
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,955
{\an8}Stop that, Bart.
Homer, speak to him.

9
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,043
{\an8}Blah. Blee. Bleh.
(chuckles) Stupid animals.

10
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,963
{\an8}Ah, the daily newspaper.

11
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:51,926
{\an8}Ooh, the Springfield men's shelter
is giving away 60 soiled mattresses.

12
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:55,638
{\an8}Why do you read that "free" column, Homer?
They never have anything good.

13
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:59,392
{\an8}(gasps)
Oh, my God!

14
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:03,021
{\an8}-What is it?
-"Tramampoline." "Trambapoline."

15
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,105
{\an8}He said what now?

16
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:07,067
{\an8}Please, don't bring home
any more old crutches.

17
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,194
{\an8}-(car door closes)
-(tires screech)

18
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,864
{\an8}Oh, no you don't.
That trampoline is mine.

19
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,787
{\an8}-(panting)
-(bicycle horn)

20
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,623
{\an8}-(spits) Huh?
-(bicycle horn)

21
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:24,334
{\an8}-(laughs)
-(bicycle horn)

22
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:28,088
{\an8}-(laughing) Yea.
-Hey. That seltzer ain't free.

23
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:31,341
-(gasps) Krusty!
-That's me.

24
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,344
(goofy laugh)
You here for the trampoline?

25
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,346
Yeah. What's the deal?

26
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,807
Well, I used to do
a lot of tumbling in my act,

27
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,559
but I'm phasing it out
for more dirty limericks.

28
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:45,772
-There once was a man named Enis--
-I can just haul it away, free?

29
00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:49,442
Yep. It's all yours.

30
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:52,278
(chortling)

31
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:53,571
(door slams)

32
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{\an8}You're a good dog, aren't you, boy?
Aren't ya?

33
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:05,416
Hi, son.
Hi, son.

34
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,543
-Hmm?
-Hi, son.

35
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,128
Wow!

36
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:11,256
{\an8}(panting)
I can't believe it.

37
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:14,092
Whoa. Whoo-hoo!

38
00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:18,638
Dad, this one gesture almost makes up
for years of shaky fathering.

39
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,431
(all whooping)

40
00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,392
-HOMER: Hey, look at me.
-BART: Whoa-ho.

41
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,979
-HOMER: Bart, look.
-BART: I will never get tired of this.

42
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,106
LISA: I'm gonna have
my wedding here.

43
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,650
Whoa! Whoa!

44
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,861
I don't know
if this is a good idea.

45
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,571
HOMER: Marge,
it's the perfect exercise.

46
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,281
It'll double the value
of our house,

47
00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:38,408
and it was free-- free!

48
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:41,661
-Are you sure it's safe?
-Absolutely.

49
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:46,207
And this is just the beginning.
I've got some big plans.

50
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:52,630
-♪♪ (calliope)
-(delighted squeals)

51
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:01,389
-It smells funny in there.
-No, it doesn't.

52
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:09,063
Whoo.
(laughing)

53
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:12,317
Whoa.
Yeah-- (grunts)

54
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,069
-(groans)
-Otto, are you okay?

55
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,447
{\an8}-Yeah. Just pop my shoulder back in.
-(cracks)

56
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:21,034
Ooh. Thanks, buddy.
Hey, I lost my turn.

57
00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:24,871
Oh! My arm.

58
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,957
Whee! Ow!
I bit my tongue.

59
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,294
Each leap brings us
closer to God.

60
00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:35,048
-Catch me, Lord. Catch me. Wh--
-Ow!

61
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:38,509
{\an8}-What have we done to make God angry?
-You did it.

62
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,429
Stop jumping on me.
I'm hurt.

63
00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:45,725
Kids, kids. Once you get hurt,
move aside and let other people jump.

64
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:50,396
-Homer, this is terrible.
-Okay. Okay. I'll take care of it.

65
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:56,736
-Hmm?
-(moaning)

66
00:03:56,819 --> 00:04:00,698
(all moaning)

67
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,955
I told you
this was a bad idea.

68
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,749
All right, all right!
I'll get rid of the trampoline.

69
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,337
Hey, Krusty.
I'm bringing back the--

70
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,631
You just keep
right on driving.

71
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,178
(grunts)
There we go.

72
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:31,437
That's the last I'll see
of Mr. Trampoline.

73
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,691
Yep, it's finally gone.

74
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,235
D'oh!
(grunting)

75
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:45,535
If this were a cartoon,
the cliff would break off now.

76
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:51,124
(animal howling)

77
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:54,335
I'm thirsty.

78
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,672
-(screams)
-(body thuds)

79
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:04,345
-Checkmate, Mr. Trampoline.
-(whirring)

80
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,683
(yelling)
Oh!

81
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,689
All right. All right.
You win for now,

82
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:18,443
but someday you'll rust!

83
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:23,031
Rust, I tell ya!
(hysterical laughter)

84
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,658
Dad. Dad?

85
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,160
You really wanna get rid
of this trampoline?

86
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:28,119
Uh-huh.

87
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,538
Observe. A bike lock.

88
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:32,415
(chain rattles,
lock clicks)

89
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,751
Now just turn around
and count to three.

90
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:38,087
One, two, three.

91
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,298
Uh, better make it five.

92
00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:44,093
-(chain rattles)
-All right. I got me a bed.

93
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,347
DOLPH: Shh! Quiet.
You'll wake up Old Man Simpson.

94
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,474
JIMBO:
Hey, no more trampoline.

95
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,559
DOLPH:
Let's jump on the car instead.

96
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:54,937
-(metal thudding)
-(boys grunting)

97
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,690
Okay, the trampoline
was a bad idea.

98
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:01,277
But you know what?
At least I'm out there trying new things.

99
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,364
If it were up to you, all we'd ever do
is work and go to church.

100
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:05,907
That's not true.

101
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,326
Name one thing you've done in
the past month that was fun.

102
00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:11,662
I can name 10 things.
Um...

103
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,999
-I made Sloppy Joes.
-(scoffs) That's not fun.

104
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:18,878
Kids, tell me the truth. Am I no fun?
Do I just nag all the time?

105
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,923
-Um.
-Um.

106
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:23,925
-Well.
-Uh--

107
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You should've called.
I was very worried.

108
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,346
We're on a tight budget here.

109
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,181
Bart, watch your language.

110
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:32,683
You are not going to perform
that operation yourself.

111
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:37,021
(groans)

112
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:41,859
-See, Marge?
-I didn't realize people saw me that way.

113
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:45,029
-Are you mad?
-No, I'm fine.

114
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,614
I'm going
to my sisters' now.

115
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,951
-(door slams)
-(car tires squealing)

116
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,869
NED: Careful there, Marge.
You almost nicked me.

117
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,915
Well, your blood pressure
is off the chart.

118
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,501
And I don't like
this urine sample one bit.

119
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:01,838
You're headed for a nervous breakdown.
You need Brad Goodman.

120
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:05,466
His infomercial plays
round the clock on Channel 77.

121
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,468
<i>-(applause)</i>
<i>-Thank you, Martha Quinn.</i>

122
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,387
<i>There you have it.</i>

123
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,973
<i>Unrehearsed testimonies</i>
<i>from important celebrities.</i>

124
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:16,519
<i>She's one of my favorites.</i>
<i>I loved her in the thing I saw her in.</i>

125
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:20,273
<i>You know, my course can help you</i>
<i>with every personality disorder...</i>

126
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:23,776
<i>in the "feel bad" rainbow.</i>

127
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,862
<i>Let's look at the rainbow.</i>
<i>What's in there?</i>

128
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:35,580
<i>Geriatric profanity disorder,</i>
<i>or G.P.D.</i>

129
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:40,293
<i>And chronic nagging, nagging,</i>
<i>nagging, nagging, nagg--</i>

130
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,879
-Sorry. It does that sometimes.
<i>-Nagging. Nagging.</i>

131
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,135
Mm-mm-mm. What up, Marge?

132
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:52,263
I'm watching a videotape
that could change our lives.

133
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,849
♪♪

134
00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:57,685
<i>Oh, hi. I'm Troy McClure.</i>

135
00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,396
<i>You might remember me from</i>
<i>such self-help videos as...</i>

136
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,858
<i>"Smoke Yourself Thin"</i>
<i>and "Get Confident, Stupid."</i>

137
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:07,737
<i>Well, now I'm here to tell you about</i>
<i>the only real path to mental health.</i>

138
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:12,200
<i>That's right. It's the Brad Goodman...</i>
<i>something or other.</i>

139
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,911
-Marge, can I go outside and play?
-Shh.

140
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:18,498
<i>A few weeks ago, I was a washed-up</i>
<i>actor with a drinking problem.</i>

141
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:23,211
<i>Then Brad Goodman came along and gave me</i>
<i>this job and a can of fortified wine.</i>

142
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:27,590
<i>(loud gulp)</i>
<i>Ahh! Sweet liquor eases the pain.</i>

143
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,551
<i>And now I'd like to introduce</i>
<i>the man who will put the "you"...</i>

144
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,386
<i>in "impr-you-vement."</i>

145
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:36,307
<i>-Brad Goodman.</i>
<i>-Thank you so much, Troy.</i>

146
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:39,644
<i>And, by the way,</i>
<i>I'm not happy you're still drinking.</i>

147
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:42,522
<i>But, at least you're down</i>
<i>to one from more than 50.</i>

148
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:43,439
<i>(applause)</i>

149
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:47,151
<i>Folks, I'm often asked</i>
<i>about my qualifications.</i>

150
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:52,073
<i>Well, I may not have a lot of</i>
<i>"credentials" or "training,"</i>

151
00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:57,245
<i>but I'll tell you one thing,</i>
<i>I'm a Ph.D.... in pain.</i>

152
00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:01,582
<i>Now, let me show you</i>
<i>how you can change your life.</i>

153
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:05,127
<i>Troy, this circle is you.</i>

154
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,089
<i>My God, it's like you've</i>
<i>known me all my life.</i>

155
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,298
<i>(applause)</i>

156
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:16,264
<i>Doctor, you've solved all my problems.</i>
<i>(gulps)</i>

157
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,394
That video
really opened my eyes.

158
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:24,814
I can see that I'm just
a passive-aggressive coculprit.

159
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:27,233
By nagging you when
you do foolish things,

160
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,443
I just enable
your life-script.

161
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,029
And that sends me into
a shame spiral.

162
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:36,867
Exactly. So from now on, I'm going to
quit nagging and have more fun.

163
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,706
{\an8}Homer, did you eat
my whole pan of brownies?

164
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,958
Uh-oh. You're in for it
now, Dad.

165
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,171
Marge, I'm feeling
a lot of shame right now.

166
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,716
I'm hearing that
you feel a lot of shame.

167
00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:53,843
And I feel that
you hear my shame.

168
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:58,681
I'm feeling annoyance
and frustration, but also tolerance.

169
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:03,060
-I feel validated by that.
-Good. I'm glad we had this talk.

170
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,229
Me too.
(whistles)

171
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,231
-Hmm?
-Hmm?

172
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:11,110
Wow! For free.

173
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:14,739
Surplus drums of mayonnaise
from Operation Desert Storm.

174
00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:17,700
(gasps) Brad Goodman
is coming to town!

175
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:21,871
Oh, Marge, you and I are fine now.
Who needs Brad Goodman?

176
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:24,707
-(clattering)
-(whooping) Yee-haw! Yahoo!

177
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,921
Well, here we are
at the Brad Goodman lecture.

178
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,466
-We know, Dad.
-I just thought I'd remind everybody.

179
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:36,552
After all, we did agree
to attend a self-help seminar.

180
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,554
What an odd thing to say.

181
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:42,058
-(applause)
-Thank you.

182
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,643
Okay, folks.
Let me hear what's troubling you.

183
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,228
Don't be shy. Yell it out. Everybody. Go.

184
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,690
-I, uh, can't commit to a relationship.
-I'm too nice.

185
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,568
-I have problems with--
-I'm always interrupting people.

186
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:58,157
Okay. Okay. Right now, I want each of you
to try something interesting.

187
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,035
There's no trick to it.
It's just a simple trick.

188
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:05,873
Now, close your eyes for a moment and
really listen to that inner voice inside.

189
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:08,584
Your inner child.

190
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,961
(quietly)
Listen. What's he saying?

191
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,547
Stay the course, Big Ned.
You're doing super.

192
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:19,095
-Food goes in here.
-It sure does.

193
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,140
(Italian accent)
Hey, Moe. What'sa matter?

194
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:26,811
-You no talka with your accent no more.
-Mamma mia.

195
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:30,648
Principal Skinner,
let's try some rage work.

196
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:34,026
I want you to pretend this dummy
right here is your mother.

197
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,903
Okay, I'll try.
(chuckles)

198
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:40,616
Tell this dummy mother
exactly how you feel right now.

199
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:44,370
I'm annoyed with you, Mother.
Not just annoyed, angry.

200
00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:48,999
I'm a grown man now,
and I can run my own life!

201
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,460
(grunting)

202
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:56,465
(whispering) Shh-shh. Calm down.
Calm down. Moving. You can sit down now.

203
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,510
We're still going antiquing
on Saturday, right, Mother?

204
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:04,640
You see, folks?
We're all trying to please someone else.

205
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:08,018
And as soon as you're not
a human being,

206
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:11,021
you're a human doing.

207
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:14,233
-Then what comes next?
-A human going!

208
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:18,320
-(laughter)
-Bart, be quiet.

209
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,906
Son, that's wonderful.
Come here. Come up here.

210
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:24,326
What made you
yell out that remark?

211
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,745
I don't know.

212
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:29,123
You just wanted
to express yourself, yes?

213
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,959
-I do what I feel like.
-That's marvelous.

214
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:34,503
I couldn't have
put it better myself.

215
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:38,549
"I do what I feel like."

216
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:44,263
People, this young man here is
the inner child I've been talking about.

217
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:45,306
What?

218
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:48,100
Son, you've never read
any of my books, have you?

219
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:51,562
-(snorts) Earth to boring guy.
-(laughter)

220
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:55,232
(laughs) I get that means no, huh?
I'm not so old-fashioned.

221
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:59,904
Your parents have done a fantastic job.
Mama? Papa? Could you come up here?

222
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,822
-(applause)
-MAN: Yeah!

223
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:05,659
Thank you.
Thank you very much.

224
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:10,164
This is really remarkable. Here we have
a man with an obvious eating disorder,

225
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:15,503
and a woman with a bizarre hairstyle--
I'm sure worn only for shock value.

226
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,713
-(groans)
-And yet,

227
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:21,759
they've managed to raise
an emotionally healthy son.

228
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:24,720
-That's fantastic.
-Oh, thank you.

229
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,263
We can all learn a lot
from this young man here.

230
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,015
-This-this--
-Rudiger.

231
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:32,603
Rudiger. And if we can all
be more like little Rudiger--

232
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:35,314
-His name is Bart.
-His name isn't important.

233
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:39,902
What's important here is that this lad
has fully developed ego integrity...

234
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:44,073
with well-defined boundaries.

235
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,325
(loud snoring)

236
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:50,162
-(laughter)
-(chuckles) Isn't he--

237
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:53,290
People, I am excited.

238
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:56,001
I can sense a change
in the air tonight.

239
00:13:56,085 --> 00:14:00,548
You are all going to
start living. Really living.

240
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:03,801
(all)
Yea! Living! Living!

241
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:08,430
-Be like the boy.
-Be like boy! Be like boy!

242
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:12,560
-Just the ladies.
-Be like boy! Be like boy!

243
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:17,982
-Now, the seniors in the back.
-We like Roy! We like Roy!

244
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,360
(chattering)

245
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:29,660
{\an8}This is madness. He's just peddling
a bunch of easy answers.

246
00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:31,704
And how.
(laughs)

247
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,168
<i>A new mood is in</i>
<i>the air in Springfield,</i>

248
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:41,005
<i>as refreshing as</i>
<i>a pre-moistened towelette.</i>

249
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,715
<i>Folks are finally accepting</i>
<i>their feelings</i>

250
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:45,634
<i>and really communicating</i>
<i>with no holding back.</i>

251
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,345
<i>And this reporter thinks</i>
<i>it's about (beep) time.</i>

252
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,139
<i>Of course, all these</i>
<i>good vibes can be traced</i>

253
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,224
<i>to one feisty little scamp...</i>

254
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:55,603
<i>who taught us that</i>
<i>if it feels good, do it.</i>

255
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,646
<i>(gurgling)</i>

256
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:03,652
Lis, today I am a god.

257
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,654
Is that why you're sitting on
an ice cream sandwich?

258
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:09,825
Ew!
(groans)

259
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:15,164
Now, instead of
my boring old sermon,

260
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:18,167
I'm going to take a page
from the book of Bart,

261
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,045
and do something
I've always wanted to do.

262
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:26,717
Take five, Mrs. Feesh.

263
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,303
♪♪ (ragtime)

264
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:33,849
-♪♪ (discordant)
-Wait. Wait. I can do this.

265
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:39,271
-♪♪ (resumes)
-Wait. Wait. Hold on.

266
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,565
(groans)

267
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:45,444
The wireless was an invention
by Guglielmo Marconi.

268
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,488
Who can tell me
what his first message was?

269
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:50,658
-Uh--
-I want-a change-a my name-a.

270
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:54,286
-(laughing)
-Ah, good one, Milhouse.

271
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:57,247
Anyone else?
The first message by wireless.

272
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,666
-It was--
-Our 10th caller

273
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,710
will receive
tickets to Supertramp.

274
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,128
(laughing)

275
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:06,006
Oh, jeez.
Everybody's a comedian.

276
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:11,011
I'm blue. Time for some of my
patented spitting off the overpass.

277
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:13,597
-Aw, man!
-(all spitting)

278
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:16,266
(cars honking, crashing)

279
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,980
(groans)

280
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:24,650
Lis, everyone in town is acting like me.
So why does it suck?

281
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,111
It's simple, Bart.
You've defined yourself as a rebel.

282
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:32,032
In the absence of a repressive milieu,
your societal niche has been co-opted.

283
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,742
I see.

284
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,244
Ever since that self-help guy
came to town,

285
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,162
you've lost your identity.

286
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,539
You've fallen through
the cracks of our quick-fix,

287
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,833
one-hour photo,
instant-oatmeal society.

288
00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:43,043
-What's the answer?
-Well, this is your chance

289
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,337
to develop a new
and better identity.

290
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:48,132
May I suggest
good-natured doormat?

291
00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:50,050
Sounds good, sis.
Just tell me what to do.

292
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,802
Springfield will have
its first annual

293
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:54,179
"Do What You Feel" festival
this Saturday...

294
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:56,390
whenever you feel like
showing up.

295
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:59,768
It'll be a welcome change from our
annual "Do As We Say" festival,

296
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,855
started by German settlers
in 1946.

297
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:06,025
-(ropes creaking)
-If elected mayor...

298
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:10,320
my first act will be to kill the whole
lot of ya and burn your town to cinders.

299
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,698
-(whispering) Mike's on.
-I know it's on.

300
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:16,410
Park anywhere. I'm not gonna
lay any rule trip on you today.

301
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,541
♪♪ (calypso)

302
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:28,297
♪♪ (humming)

303
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,966
I feel like such a free spirit,

304
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:35,304
and I'm really enjoying
this so-called "iced cream."

305
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:38,432
Sir, in the spirit of
the festival and everything,

306
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:42,061
I'd just like to say that--
(clears throat)

307
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:45,731
-I... love you.
-Hmm?

308
00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:47,733
In those colors!
(nervous chuckle)

309
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:51,028
Oh, who am I kidding?
The boathouse was the time.

310
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:54,948
{\an8}-MAN: My God. They're naked.
-Double your pleasure, Springfield.

311
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,076
I'm sweating.
Let's ride through the car wash.

312
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,244
ALL: Ew.

313
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:04,458
Arr! This picture will serve me well
on those lonely nights at sea.

314
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:07,836
This is great. I can
finally look like I want...

315
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,756
and not get hassled
by the man.

316
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,966
APU:
Cowabunga!

317
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:19,014
Skateboards?
You copycat wannabes.

318
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:22,476
-Ow!
-Eat my shorts, young man.

319
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:25,896
Good afternoon and welcome to
the "Do What You Feel" festival.

320
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:29,733
By the way, this young lady is not
my wife, but I am sleeping with her.

321
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:33,028
I'm telling you this because
I'm comfortable with my womanizing.

322
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,447
-Yea!
-Arr!

323
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:38,075
And now to usher in
this new era of feeling good...

324
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:41,370
here's the, uh,
Godfather of Soul, James Brown.

325
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:44,540
<i>♪ Ow! I feel good ♪</i>

326
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:47,668
<i>♪ Huh, I knew that</i>
<i>I would now ♪</i>

327
00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:51,296
(grunts)
<i>♪ I feel good ♪</i>

328
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:56,009
<i>♪ Good God,</i>
<i>I knew that I would, hah ♪</i>

329
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:58,053
<i>♪ So good ♪</i>

330
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,807
<i>♪ So good, I got you ♪</i>

331
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,393
(yells)

332
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:08,856
-(all gasp)
-Hey. Wait a minute. Hold on here.

333
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:12,109
This bandstand
wasn't double-bolted. Huh.

334
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:15,654
-I didn't feel like it.
-Hey. I hear you, buddy.

335
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:19,449
Uh, I don't want to judge
the rightness of your ego orientation,

336
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:22,452
but my inner critic says
you should've done your job.

337
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:26,456
Hey, now, Marge.
Let's not "should" this fella to death.

338
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:30,419
Yeah. Next you'll be laying a guilt-trip
on me for not oiling that Ferris wheel.

339
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,005
-(loud screeching)
-(riders screaming)

340
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:38,343
(screaming continues)

341
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:44,016
(various animal noises)

342
00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:48,562
-(screaming)
-(elephant trumpeting)

343
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:51,690
In the, uh, spirit of the occasion,
I must tell you what I think.

344
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:53,233
You two screwed up royal.

345
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:57,321
You know, I really don't feel
like being blamed.

346
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:58,989
I feel that you should shut up.

347
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:00,991
You know, you really
irritate me, Skinner.

348
00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:03,952
What with your store-bought haircut
and excellent posture.

349
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,747
Mister, I can't stand
the sound of your voice.

350
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,749
-Oh, really? Come here.
-Oh!

351
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:11,043
Oh, now, now. There's no need
to resort to violence.

352
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:15,005
-Aw, sure there is.
-(clamoring)

353
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:19,676
I knew it.
If only I had nagged more.

354
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:24,723
God is angry. We've made
a false idol of this Brad Goodman.

355
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:27,434
No. You must not
blame yourself, Reverend.

356
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:30,395
You must blame that little boy.
He started it all.

357
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,272
-Get him!
-Eep.

358
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,483
(crowd jeering)

359
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,654
-Here, boy. In here.
-Huh?

360
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,577
Hold on, son.

361
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:50,916
(engine puttering)

362
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,424
So long, suckers.

363
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,344
Damn. They're very slowly
getting away.

364
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:05,722
-They're heading for the old mill.
-No, we're not.

365
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:08,642
Well, let's go to the old mill anyway,
get some cider.

366
00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:10,811
-MAN: That's a good idea.
-Let's get some cider.

367
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:17,317
Aw, boy. If only Bart had been
a better role model for everyone.

368
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,653
That's not fair.
The lesson here is that...

369
00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:23,240
self-improvement is better left
to people who live in big cities.

370
00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:26,994
No. Self-improvement can be achieved,
but not with a quick fix.

371
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:30,580
It's a long, arduous journey of
personal and spiritual discovery.

372
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:34,084
That's what I've been saying.
We're all fine the way we are.

373
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,461
-(TV clicks on)
-Ooh, it's that new show...

374
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,755
about the policeman who solves
crimes in his spare time.

375
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:39,965
Crank it, Homer.

376
00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:42,467
MAN (on TV): <i>You busted up that</i>
<i>crack house pretty bad, McGonigle.</i>

377
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:45,095
<i>Did you really have to</i>
<i>break so much furniture?</i>

378
00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:47,806
MCGONIGLE: <i>You tell me, Chief.</i>
<i>You had a pretty good view</i>

379
00:21:47,889 --> 00:21:49,141
<i>from behind your desk.</i>

380
00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:52,853
Ah, McGonigle eases
the pain.

381
00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:54,563
{\an8}CHIEF: <i>You're off the case,</i>
<i>McGonigle.</i>

382
00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:56,732
{\an8}MCGONIGLE: <i>You're off</i>
your <i>case, Chief.</i>

383
00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:58,942
{\an8}CHIEF:
<i>What does that mean exactly?</i>

384
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:01,486
{\an8}HOMER: It means he gets results,
you stupid chief!

385
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,447
{\an8}-LISA:  Dad, sit down.
-HOMER: Oh, I'm sorry.

386
00:22:04,614 --> 00:22:06,283
{\an8}♪♪

387
00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:50,494
Shh!

388
00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:57,084
{\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.

