1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:05,588 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:10,969 D'oh! 3 00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:13,054 -Aah! -(tires screech) 4 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,193 (video games beeping) 5 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:35,160 Thirsting for a way to name the unnamable, to express the inexpressible. 6 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:36,369 Tell me more. 7 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,373 Keep cool, Simpson. 8 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:43,626 Be in the game but not of the game. 9 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:44,878 (roars) 10 00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:47,380 No es bueno. 11 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,967 -(machine gun fire) -(screaming) 12 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,304 -(grunts) -Winners don't use drugs. 13 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,890 Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! Ehh! 14 00:00:56,973 --> 00:01:00,685 -Aw! I'm outta money. -Don't say that out loud. 15 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,771 {\an8}Two Caucasian males out of money in Sector 4. 16 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,607 {\an8}Go to Code Red. 17 00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:08,109 {\an8}-(alarms blaring) -(everyone gasps) 18 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,406 {\an8}(pounding footsteps) 19 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,870 {\an8}I'm sorry. You'll have to leave. 20 00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:21,081 {\an8}Oh, man. How are we supposed to kill 21 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,499 {\an8}the rest of the afternoon? 22 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,793 {\an8}You mustn't kill time, boys. 23 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:27,754 {\an8}You must cherish it. Seize the day! 24 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:30,882 {\an8}Can I have some change to go get loaded? 25 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,593 {\an8}Ah. Finally, a little quiet time 26 00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:36,262 {\an8}to read some of my old favorites. 27 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,724 {\an8}"Honey roasted peanuts. 28 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:41,768 {\an8}"Ingredients: salt, 29 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,937 {\an8}"artificial honey-roasting agents, 30 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:46,147 {\an8}pressed peanut sweepings." 31 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,774 {\an8}Mmm! 32 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,943 {\an8}Homer, I have to go out to pick up something for dinner. 33 00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:52,612 {\an8}-Steak? -Money's too tight for steak. 34 00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:56,783 {\an8}-Steak? -Eh, sure. Steak. 35 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:58,952 {\an8}Ah. The last peanut-- 36 00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:02,747 {\an8}Overflowing with the oil and salt of its departed brothers. 37 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,627 {\an8}Uh-oh. Something's wrong. 38 00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:12,966 Hmm. Ow! Pointy. 39 00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:15,760 Eww! Slimy. Uh-oh! Moving. 40 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:18,763 Aha! Aw. Twenty dollars. 41 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,974 I wanted a peanut. 42 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,559 {\an8}(thinking) Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts. 43 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:23,852 {\an8}Explain how. 44 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,312 {\an8}Money can be exchanged for goods and services. 45 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,940 Whoo-hoo! Whoa! (grunts) 46 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:33,403 (whimpers, shrieks) 47 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,656 ♪♪ ("The Flight of the Bumblebee") 48 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,329 -Ow! -Ow! 49 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,040 -Ow! Ow! -Ow! 50 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,834 You know, this is wearin' a bit thin. 51 00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:50,253 You think so? 52 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,756 -Bart! Look! -Maybe a plane exploded. 53 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,092 Our prayers have been answered. 54 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:02,140 Hello, gents. What will it be? 55 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:05,185 Apu, give us a Super Squishee. 56 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:08,897 One that's made entirely out of syrup. 57 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:12,775 -Entirely ou-- (gasps) -(all gasping) 58 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,737 An all-syrup Super Squishee? 59 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,865 Oh, s-such a thing has never been done. 60 00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,742 Just make it happen. 61 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,493 Oh. Oh, dear. 62 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,961 (clanking, rumbling) 63 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,422 -(syrup glugging) -(yelps) 64 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:37,425 Oh! She won't hold! She's breaking up! 65 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,803 -(bell dings) -All done. 66 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,805 If you survive, please come again. 67 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,141 (both yelling, whooping) 68 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,603 -(squeaking) -(gasps) It's so thick! 69 00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:51,522 (sucking) 70 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,358 (coughing) 71 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,193 (gasping) Your turn, Bart. 72 00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:58,363 (sucking) 73 00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:01,324 (coughs) Whoa! That's good Squishee. 74 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,660 (groaning) 75 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:06,829 What's it like, Bart? Bart? Bart? 76 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,749 -(babbling gibberish) -Give me that! 77 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:13,878 (slurps, moans, yelps) 78 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,965 Okay. We're young, rich, and full of sugar. What'll we do? 79 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:20,134 Let's go crazy Broadway-style! 80 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,762 -(hands slap) -(both) Yeah! 81 00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:25,473 ♪ Springfield, Springfield It's a helluva town ♪ 82 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:28,142 ♪ The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down ♪ 83 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,853 ♪ The stray dogs go to the animal pound ♪ 84 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,022 -♪ Springfield, Springfield ♪ -♪ Springfield, Springfield ♪ 85 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,483 ♪ New York, New York ♪ 86 00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:39,487 -New York is thataway, man. -Thanks, kid. 87 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:44,409 ♪ It's a helluva town ♪ 88 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:48,746 {\an8}-♪♪ (show music continues) -Whoa. Wow. 89 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,219 -(blows) -(caterwauling) 90 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,971 Huh? Huh? Huh? 91 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,939 Mmm! Free goo. 92 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:24,490 MILHOUSE: Hey! Don't bogart that Squishee! 93 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:29,078 (gulping) I don't know where you magic pixies came from, 94 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,914 but I like your pixie drink. 95 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,501 -♪♪ (continues) -(laughing) 96 00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:42,050 (groaning) 97 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,635 -My head. -(tsking) 98 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,846 The remorse of the sugar junkie. 99 00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:50,641 (groans) I don't remember anything. 100 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,019 Really? Not even this? 101 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,065 (screams) Oh, no! 102 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,233 I must have joined the Junior Campers. 103 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,569 -(whimpers) -The few, the proud, the geeky. 104 00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:03,571 (chortles) 105 00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:07,283 Boy! A man on a Squishee bender can sure do some crazy things. 106 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,243 (horn blows) 107 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:12,080 (groaning) Uh-oh. 108 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,457 Not again? (belches) 109 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,463 Okay, look. I made a terrible mistake. 110 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,132 I wandered into a Junior Camper recruitment center, 111 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,759 but what's done is done. 112 00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:27,136 I've made my bed, and now I've gotta weasel out of it. 113 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:31,599 I know you think the Junior Campers are square and "uncool," 114 00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:33,810 but they also do a lot of neat things, 115 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:37,563 like sing-alongs and flag ceremonies. 116 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,482 Marge, don't discourage the boy. 117 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:42,360 Weaseling out of things is important to learn. 118 00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:46,280 It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. 119 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,078 All I've gotta do is take this uniform back after school. 120 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:56,124 You're lucky. You only joined the Junior Campers. 121 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:59,669 I got a dirty word shaved into the back of my head. 122 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:02,839 (gasps) What is it with you kids and that word? 123 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,049 I'm going to shave you bald, young man, 124 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:09,262 until you learn that hair is not a right-- It's a privilege. 125 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:11,180 What's in the bag, wuss? 126 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:15,476 Huh? Oh, look. Camper's pampers. Ha-ha! 127 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,395 -Keep away! -Keep away! 128 00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,480 -Keep away! Nyah-nyah-nya-nya-nyah! -Keep away! 129 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,606 Yeah, whatever. 130 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:26,362 You better pretend you want your uniform back, twerp. 131 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,321 (gulp) 132 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:30,241 -Keep away! -Keep away! 133 00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:32,201 (spiritless) Oh, no. Woe is me. 134 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,745 My precious uniform. Oh. 135 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,164 Guess what, class. 136 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,458 -Time for a surprise quiz? -(all gasp) 137 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,418 Well, that's not what I was gonna say, but it's a good idea. 138 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:43,087 Ha! Take out a sheet of paper. Books under your desks. 139 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,214 -(groans) -But I'm supposed to-- 140 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,967 I've gotta-- I'm supposed to-- 141 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,760 Oh, Warren, I nearly forgot. 142 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:52,305 All Junior Campers are excused to attend their patrol meeting. 143 00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:55,725 Um, Mrs. Krabappel, I'd love to stay, 144 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,644 but this uniform carries certain responsibilities. 145 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,105 Hey, look! Sergeant Dork! 146 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:04,150 -Ha-ha! -Enjoy your test. 147 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:06,027 Ha-ha-- Aw. 148 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:11,240 Hello, alternative to testing. 149 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:16,704 -(moans) -Well, it's Bart Simpson. Come on in. 150 00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:19,957 You're just in time for Sponge-Bath the Old Folks Day. 151 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,293 Help yourself, but stay above the equator. 152 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:25,421 -(shrieks, yelps) -(thuds on floor) 153 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,510 Now, just breathe into him every three seconds. 154 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,137 Make sure you form a tight seal around his mouth. 155 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:36,390 BART: No! 156 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:39,227 (coughing, gagging) 157 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:42,480 -Should I keep doing it? -Well, sir, just apply 158 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:45,191 a smidgen of peanut butter to an ordinary pine cone, 159 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,860 and you've got yourself a makeshift bird feeder, sir. 160 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,029 I'm outta here, man. 161 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,739 Okay. Everybody take out your Junior Campers pocketknives. 162 00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:56,118 Hmm? You guys get to play with knives? 163 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,163 -Oh, cool. A "spork." -Don't hurt me! 164 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,333 Ooh. Sorry, Bart. That's a Neddy no-no. 165 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,085 You're not allowed to handle a pocketknife 166 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:07,255 {\an8}till you read this booklet on knife safety and pass a test. 167 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,049 {\an8}Aw, who needs a cruddy knife anyway? 168 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:13,594 -Knives are boring. -Whoa! 169 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:17,014 When I say put your beer on a coaster, I mean it! 170 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,183 You call that a knife? 171 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,352 This is a knife. 172 00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:24,313 (whimpering) Down I go. 173 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,899 -(grunts) -(sighing) Oh. 174 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:30,236 (exhales) Oh, hi, Bart. 175 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:32,363 I'd gladly share these sweet cookies with you, 176 00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,532 if only you would help me remove this ribbon. 177 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:37,159 -Here's a knife. -Oh, thank you. 178 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,287 Now let's all share the goodness. 179 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:42,290 -Share this. -(groans) 180 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,417 (bullies laughing) 181 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,753 (groaning) 182 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,047 This man's appendix is about to burst. 183 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,425 Luckily, I have my trusty pocketknife. 184 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,468 -(whimpers) -(flesh slicing open) 185 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,680 -(crowd gasps) -Stand back! (grunts) 186 00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,182 -(explosion) -(cheering) 187 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,227 -Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. -Don't thank me. 188 00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:06,439 -Thank the knife. -(crowd cheering) 189 00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:09,275 Oh. Seems like everywhere I look, 190 00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:11,235 people are enjoying knives. 191 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:17,491 "Don't do what Donny Don't does." 192 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:20,620 (sighs) They could've made this clearer. 193 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:29,253 Oh! They won't let you have any fun. 194 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:33,299 Well! If it isn't the leader of the wiener patrol, 195 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:36,093 boning up on his nerd lessons. 196 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,638 Homer, you should be more supportive. 197 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:42,433 -You're right, Marge. Good work, boy. -Hmm. 198 00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:44,435 ♪ Egghead likes his booky-wook ♪ 199 00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,729 -Homer! -Just tucking him in. 200 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,357 Here you go-- Your rubber training knife. 201 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,651 You've attained the rank of Pussy Willow. 202 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:55,071 Rubber knife? This place is for wimps. 203 00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:58,866 Okay, kids. Now I'm gonna teach ya how to trap wild animals. 204 00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,326 But this should only be used 205 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:03,788 -in a life-or-death situation. -Hmm. 206 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,459 Ooh! Floor pie. 207 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:09,960 I-- Whoa! 208 00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,462 (rope stretching) 209 00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:13,255 Jeez! 210 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,257 Oh! 211 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,051 Ah! 212 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:20,221 (whimpering) Aw. Oh. 213 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:31,524 {\an8}-(yelps) -(thuds) 214 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,192 Bart! 215 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:36,153 Mmm! Apple. 216 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,364 ♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show ♪ 217 00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:42,368 ♪♪ (strumming) 218 00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:47,039 (yowling) 219 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,795 {\an8}-(thunder) -(snoring) 220 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,881 {\an8}-(thundering) -(laughing) 221 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,969 The guys who wrote this show don't know squat. 222 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,345 Itchy should've tied Scratchy's tongue 223 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,305 with a taut-line hitch, not a sheet bend. 224 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,767 Oh, Bart. Cartoons don't have to be 100% realistic. 225 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,269 (Homer humming) 226 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,314 Howdilly-hey, Camper Bart! Ready for today's meeting? 227 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,859 -You know-dilly know it, Neddy. -Okilly-dokilly. 228 00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:17,945 Now, our annual father-son rafting trip is next weekend. 229 00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:21,365 (thinking) Oh, no. Me bring Homer on a rafting trip? 230 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:26,412 Duh, I'm the captain. My son is Bart. 231 00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:28,581 -What an oaf. -How embarrassing. 232 00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:30,416 I'm glad he's not my father. 233 00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,209 (shudders) 234 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,420 (sniffling) 235 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:37,423 Oh, Warren, I know your dad is in prison, but don't you fret. 236 00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:40,426 A special celebrity dad has been arranged for ya. 237 00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,595 But my older brother would like-- 238 00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:46,182 Sorry, but I'm afraid Ernest Borgnine has already been confirmed. 239 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,434 (laughing) Hiya! 240 00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,603 I'm sure you kids know me best... 241 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:53,606 as Sergeant Fatso Judson in From Here to Eternity. 242 00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:55,316 (cheering) 243 00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,528 How was jerk practice, boy? 244 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,781 Did they teach you how to sing to trees... 245 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:05,409 and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? 246 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,578 Huh? D'oh! 247 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:10,664 (growls) Stupid poetic justice! 248 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:13,793 Actually, we were just planning the father-son river-rafting trip. 249 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:15,836 Heh-heh! You don't have a son. 250 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,380 Look. Homer won't wanna go. 251 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,382 So just ask him, and he'll say no. 252 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,384 Then it'll be his fault. 253 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:26,055 I don't wanna go. So if he asks me to go, I'll just say yes. 254 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,641 (thinking) Wait! Are you sure that's how this sort of thing works? 255 00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:30,935 Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip. 256 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:38,067 Dad, I really want you to come on this trip with me. 257 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,486 Bart, I'd be delighted to go on your trip with you. 258 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,363 BOTH: D'oh! 259 00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:45,533 -(crying) -Aw, come on, kid. Quit cryin'. 260 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,993 It'll be fun. I promise. 261 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,329 (laughing) 262 00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:58,462 Arr! Here be a fine vessel, 263 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,382 the yarest river-goin' boat there be. 264 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:04,134 I'll take it. 265 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:07,304 Arr. I don't know what I'm doin'. 266 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:09,932 Okeydokey. Everybody find a partner. 267 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,725 Two dads to a raft. 268 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:16,230 (all chattering) 269 00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:19,608 Please not Flanders. Please not Flanders. Please not Flanders. 270 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,777 Well, Homer, looks like we're boat buddies, huh? 271 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,154 Want me to zinc your sniffer? 272 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,949 (campers chattering, yelling) 273 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,371 (gasps) I guess now we know why... 274 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:35,416 they call 'em rapids and not "slowpids, huh?" 275 00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:38,711 -(laughing) -You are not my son. 276 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:43,173 Eh. Now, what happened to that gosh-darn map I brought? 277 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,801 -(wind gusts) -(yelps) Um, I don't know. 278 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:49,680 But lucky for you, somebody here is responsible. 279 00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,932 Hey! There's a new Mexico. 280 00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:55,769 Whoa, Nelly! 281 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:58,022 Oh! Quick, Homer! Which way do we turn? 282 00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:00,649 So many Krusty Burger locations. 283 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,610 (drooling) 284 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:06,780 Uh-oh! No time. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John! 285 00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:11,285 -(grunting) -(all screaming) 286 00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:14,246 Hey, where are the sissy and the bald guy goin', huh? 287 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:17,541 (all yelling) 288 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,589 -(horn blows) -Paddle harder, Homer. 289 00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,634 -We gotta fight the current. -Wrong again, Flanders. 290 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,886 In a situation like this, you just relax 291 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:31,639 and let the current take you back to land. 292 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,397 (whimpering) D'oh. 293 00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:45,986 -♪♪ (Archies: "Sugar, Sugar") -♪ Sugar, do-do-do-do do-do ♪ 294 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:50,074 ♪ Aw, honey, honey do-do-do-do do-do ♪ 295 00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:53,661 -♪♪ (tempo decreases) -♪ You are my candy girl ♪ 296 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,997 -♪♪ (stops) -♪♪ (slurring, stops) 297 00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,541 (yells) Lousy piece of junk! 298 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,295 Hey! I got that for my birthday. 299 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,674 Now I have to face stupid reality again. 300 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,509 Flanders! My socks feel dirty. 301 00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,427 -Give me some water to wash 'em. -Again? 302 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:14,098 Homer, we have to ration the water carefully. It's our only hope. 303 00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,934 Oh, pardon me, Mr. Let's Ration Everything. 304 00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:18,477 What do you think we're floatin' on? 305 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,396 Don't you know the poem? 306 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:24,024 "Water, water everywhere, so let's all have a drink." 307 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:28,070 -ALL: Homer! No! -What does it matter? 308 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,655 We're doomed. 309 00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,657 -(calling) -NED: Wrong. 310 00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:35,244 We're saved! Seagulls always stay near land. 311 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,246 They only go out to sea to die. 312 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,039 (squawks) 313 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,250 Whoo-hoo! See that, boy? 314 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:44,294 Your old man was right, not Flanders. 315 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,756 We are doomed. In your face, Flanders! 316 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,551 Well, at least Ned is trying. What are you doing to help? 317 00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:53,554 Well, since you're all such a big bunch of big ration babies, 318 00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:55,681 I'll just be in charge of the rationing. 319 00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,141 Look here, boy. 320 00:16:57,224 --> 00:17:00,144 The secret is to take tiny bites, like so. 321 00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:03,647 Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! 322 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,610 -Stop it! -Stop it! 323 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,863 -(all shouting, indistinct) -HOMER: Let go of my hand! 324 00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:13,282 D'oh! (grunts) 325 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,159 (bawling) 326 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:17,536 Why couldn't I be on one of the smart rafts? 327 00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,705 I bet they're having the time of their lives. 328 00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:22,833 ♪♪ ("Dueling Banjos" playing) 329 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,587 (chortling) 330 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,215 Shh! Shh, shh! Shh! 331 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:31,967 I keep telling you, lady. 332 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,511 Your husband and son have to be missing for a week... 333 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,055 before we can start searching. 334 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,723 I'd like to help sooner. I would, 335 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:40,309 but we're very, very busy down here. 336 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,603 Heesh! King me. 337 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,605 (growls) Still no help. 338 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:46,815 You know, it is cougar season, 339 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,692 and those things don't mess around. 340 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,444 (worried murmur) 341 00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:56,200 A rescue plane! Get the flare gun! 342 00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:59,036 (grunts) This ain't one of your church picnic 343 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,871 flare gun firings, Flanders. 344 00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:02,289 This is the real thing. 345 00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:08,295 D'oh! All right. Well, that's okay. 346 00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:11,048 When they come to rescue him, they'll rescue us. 347 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,512 D'oh! 348 00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:21,642 Here's our chance. 349 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:24,436 Dolphins always help humans lost at sea. 350 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,021 {\an8}(dolphins vocalizing) 351 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,735 Come back! Come back! 352 00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:34,238 (gasps) Oh, we're done for. 353 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,865 We're done for. We're done-didilly done for! 354 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,659 We're done-didilly-dodilly 355 00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:41,662 done-didilly-dodilly done-didilly-dodilly done-- 356 00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,872 Flanders! Snap out of it! 357 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,958 Thank you, Homer. I don't know what got-- 358 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,418 -(Ned grunting) -Dad! I think he's okay. 359 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:51,171 -(grunting) -It's better... 360 00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:54,716 -to be safe than sorry. -Dodilly-- 361 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,343 -Sorry. -Didilly-- 362 00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,762 -You see anything yet? -Nothin', Captain. 363 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:01,181 Somebody took all the beer and cold cuts. 364 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:04,309 That's it. I'm not even castin' off until we go to the store. 365 00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:09,731 You know, Homer, this cheese doodle 366 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,151 is our last morsel of food. 367 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:17,489 You'll thank me when we're fryin' up a big, juicy fish. 368 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:21,326 {\an8}-(strained grunt) -Godspeed, little doodle. 369 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,164 He'll be back. 370 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,877 Here, fishy, fishy, fishy. 371 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,129 We're waiting. 372 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:39,178 Son, there's something I was gonna give you at the end of this trip, 373 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:42,598 but, since we may not survive, 374 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,600 I want you to have it now. 375 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:48,562 (gasps) A real Swiss Army knife. Cool! 376 00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:51,356 I stole it from that Borgnine guy. 377 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,650 (roaring) 378 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:56,653 Don't worry, kids. I'll take care of him with my trusty-- 379 00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,115 Uh, uh-- 380 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:04,953 Um, uh-- Hmm. 381 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,080 Dad, I know I've been a little hard on you 382 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,166 the last couple of days. 383 00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:13,045 If I had the strength to lift my arms, I'd give you a hug. 384 00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:15,047 Thanks, boy. 385 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:17,424 Now, be careful when you-- Oops. 386 00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:20,219 (all gasping) 387 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,012 (relieved sighs) 388 00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,599 (sizzling) 389 00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:27,684 Dad, don't take this wrong, 390 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,229 but your expression doesn't fill me with confidence. 391 00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,981 The foul stench of death is upon us! 392 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,984 (sniffing) Mmm! Hamburger. 393 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:39,196 (sniffs) Hey, wait! I smell hamburgers, too. 394 00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:41,156 (sniffing) 395 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,158 According to this map, 396 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,286 there's a Krusty Burger on an off-shore oil rig. 397 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,622 That's what you're smelling, Homer. 398 00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:51,500 Oh, if it weren't for this blasted fog, we'd be saved. 399 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:54,169 Never mind the fog! (sniffing) That way! 400 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,463 Steer. There isn't much time! 401 00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,840 (sniffing) 402 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,093 (sign buzzing) 403 00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:04,221 Oh! We're takin' a bath on this. 404 00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:07,474 We tried to tell ya these are unmanned oil rigs. 405 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:10,394 Aw, close the damn thing down. No one's ever gonna come. 406 00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:15,524 -Huh? -Give me 700 Krusty Burgers! 407 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,901 You want fries with that? 408 00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,445 -(gulping) -You did it, Dad! You saved us! 409 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,322 I'm proud you're my father. 410 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:24,283 Go away. Eating. 411 00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:27,536 BORGNINE: Well, it sure is lucky... 412 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:30,914 we stumbled upon this old, abandoned summer camp. 413 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:32,916 CAMPERS: Yeah. 414 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,420 -Hey, how about a song? -CAMPERS: Okay. Yeah. 415 00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:40,299 ♪ There was a farmer had a dog ♪ 416 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,093 ♪ And Bingo was his name-o ♪ 417 00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:45,345 -♪ B-I-N-G-O ♪ -(heavy breathing) 418 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:47,973 -♪ B-I-N-G-O ♪ -(heavy breathing continues) 419 00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:50,058 ♪ B-I-N-G-O ♪ 420 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,853 ♪ And Bingo was his name-o ♪ 421 00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:56,481 (all screaming) 422 00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:02,404 {\an8}♪♪ 423 00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:46,865 Shh! 424 00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:53,121 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.