( bell ringing )
D-OHH!
( screams )
WELL, YOU'RE CERTAINLY DOING YOUR JOB TODAY, MR. SUN.
OH, RATS.
AND HERE WE HAVE THE WORLD-FAMOUS BEATLES
EXACTLY AS THEY LOOKED
PERFORMING ON THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW.
I HARDLY THINK IT'S FAIR TO BE CHARGED FULL PRICE.
I'M UP TO MY KNEES IN THE ORIGINAL CAST OF MASH.
* SUNSHINE ON MY SHOULDERS MAKES ME HAPPY... *
HOMER, MY HAT GOES OFF TO YOU.
IT'S COOL IN HERE, BOY.
FOR THE REST OF THE SUMMER
WE CAN LIVE INSIDE THE REFRIGERATOR.
HOMER, THE FRIDGE WASN'T MEANT TO BE USED THIS WAY.
ALTHOUGH, I MUST SAY IT'S CERTAINLY REFRESHING.
I GOT THE IDEA WHEN I NOTICED
THE REFRIGERATOR WAS COLD.
Marge: WON'T THIS OVERLOAD THE MOTOR?
( motor sputtering )
MARGE, CAN YOU SET THE OVEN TO COLD?
( moans )
Man: ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!
( both gasping )
I'M ALL OUT OF ICE CREAM!
IT'S TRUE, YOU KNOW.
ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!
FRESH OUT OF ICE CREAM!
( both groan )
CHILI! RED HOT STYLE CHILI.
AND WE GOT GINGER ALE. BOILIN' HOT TEXAS STYLE GINGER-ALE...
UGH!
AW, FACE IT, BART.
OUR SALVATION ISN'T JUST GOING TO ROLL BY
ON THE BACK OF SOME STUPID TRUCK.
WHOA! I GOT TO REPLACE THAT WINDOW.
Both: POOL-MOBILE?!
LOOK, LISA, I SNATCHED FIVE BATHING SUITS.
ALL MARTIN'S.
TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT.
I'M WEARING 17 LAYERS.
( gasping )
I BROUGHT THIS ON MYSELF.
OKAY, LITTLE DUDES, TIME'S UP.
EVERYBODY OUT!
( kids groaning )
TIME'S UP?!
SO LONG, LISE.
I'M GONNA STOWAWAY UNDERWATER, AND GO WHERE THE POOL GOES.
HAVE A GOOD LIFE.
SORRY, BART DUDE.
WE GOT TO FILL THIS
WITH EPSOM SALTS
AND JAM IT ON OVER TO THE OLD FOLKS' HOME.
OH, WELL. SAME TIME TOMORROW, OTTO?
NO WAY, MAN.
ONE DAY OF SUMMER IS ALL WE'RE BUDGETED FOR.
I GUESS IT IS KIND OF A TEASE.
( police sirens blaring from TV )
DAD.
DAD!
YES, LISA.
DAD, AS YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN SWIMMING
AND WE'VE DEVELOPED A TASTE FOR IT.
WE BOTH AGREE THAT GETTING OUR OWN POOL
IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO.
NOW BEFORE YOU RESPOND YOU MUST UNDERSTAND
THAT YOUR REFUSAL WOULD RESULT IN MONTHS OF...
Both: CAN WE HAVE A POOL, DAD?! CAN WE HAVE A POOL, DAD?!
CAN WE--
I UNDERSTAND.
LET US CELEBRATE OUR NEW ARRANGEMENT
WITH THE ADDING OF CHOCOLATE TO MILK.
OVER HERE WE HAVE "THE HICK TUB"
THE "INSTA-RUST."
THAT'S "THE LIGHTNING MAGNET."
THAT'S "THE TINKLER."
WHOO! "THE TINKLER."
I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. WE'LL TAKE IT.
IS IT TRUE SHOULD WE WAIT AT LEAST AN HOUR AFTER EATING BEFORE WE GO IN?
GOOD QUESTION LADY. THIS JOB IS NOT WHAT I REALLY DO, OKAY?
I PLAY KEYBOARDS.
Homer: ALL RIGHT.
EVERYBODY IN THE POOL!
'TIS A FINE BARN, BUT SURE 'TIS NO POOL, ENGLISH.
D-OHH-ETH!
IS IT A POOL YET?
YES, DAD.
WHOO-HOO!
( doorbell ringing )
WHO COULD THAT BE?
UH... HELLO... UH... MRS. BART.
IS YOUR POOL READY YET?
( groans ) ( children cheer )
BART, ARE ALL THESE CHILDREN FRIENDS OF YOURS?
FRIENDS AND WELL-WISHERS, YES.
HEY, BART.
HIYA, BART.
HEY, BART.
HELLO, MRS. CUMBERDALE.
PEOPLE! PEOPLE!
IT'S TIME WE ALL DISCUSSED THE POOL SAFETY RULES.
All: JUMP, BART, JUMP!
YOU GOT IT.
HEY, BART, YOUR EPIDERMIS IS SHOWING!
IT IS?
OH... OOH.
WHOA...
SEE, EPIDERMIS MEANS YOUR HAIR.
( Bart screaming )
( thuds )
SO, TECHNICALLY IT'S TRUE.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO FUNNY.
PARDON ME A MOMENT.
HAW! HAW!
HEY, NELSON, HE'S REALLY HURT.
I THINK HE BROKE HIS LEG.
I SAID, "HAW! HAW!"
GET THIS KID A MAGAZINE. STAT.
I'M SORRY, THAT LEG IS GONNA HAVE TO COME OFF.
( both gasp )
DID I SAY LEG?
I MEANT THAT WET BATHING SUIT.
I'M AFRAID YOU'LL NEED A CAST ON THAT BROKEN BONE.
OH, I'M GOING TO MISS THE WHOLE SUMMER.
DON'T WORRY, BOY.
WHEN YOU GET A JOB LIKE ME, YOU'LL MISS EVERY SUMMER.
ISN'T IT AMAZING THE SAME DAY YOU GOT A POOL
IS THE SAME DAY WE REALIZED WE LIKED YOU?
THE TIMING WORKED OUT GREAT, DON'T YOU THINK?
HI.
HEY, GUYS, SIGN MY CAST?
SIGN MY CAST?
GUYS?
( laughing )
MILHOUSE.
UH... HI, BART.
FAITHFUL MILHOUSE
YOU'LL SPEND THE LONG, HOT DAYS BY MY SIDE
WON'T YOU?
OH, I THINK I LOST MY GLASSES IN YOUR POOL.
I BETTER GO IN AND FIND THEM.
YOU'RE WEARING YOUR GLASSES.
NO, I'M NOT.
OH, LOOK, BART'S ALL ALONE.
MAYBE I SHOULD KEEP HIM COMPANY
AT LEAST FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
Boy: LISA, HEY, LOOK. WATCH THIS.
UH...
COMING.
( groans )
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST YOU AND ME, BARTY BOY.
GREAT, I GET TO SPEND THE SUMMER WITH MY BRAIN.
WHAT FUN CAN YOU HAVE
IN A POOL ANYWAY THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE
IN A BATHTUB WITH A GARBAGE BAG TAPED AROUND YOUR CAST?
( kids laughing )
( Busby Berkeley style musical extravaganza )
TRAITORS.
GO ON AND HAVE YOUR POOL.
I'M FINE BY MYSELF RIGHT HERE.
( shuddering )
( brains pulsating )
( screaming )
( brains pulsating )
( laughing )
YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T SO BAD.
I'LL JUST SPEND THE SUMMER GETTING BETTER ACQUAINTED
WITH AN OLD FRIEND CALLED TELEVISION.
( cheering )
( goofy laugh )
Hope you enjoyed that, kids
'cause Krusty's out of here for the summer.
In the meantime, we'll be running...
( groans )
Classic Krusty.
Enjoy.
( chuckling )
Good evening.
Tonight my guest is AFL-CIO chairman, George Meany
who will be discussing
collective bargaining agreements.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Let me be blunt.
Is there a labor crisis in America today?
Well, that depends what you mean by crisis.
( groans )
AH, THERE'S NOTHING LIKE RISING WITH THE SUN
FOR A QUIET, PEACEFUL DIP IN YOUR VERY OWN POOL.
( whooping )
WHOO!
( shrieking )
EWW...
LISA, THE BLOB HAS GOT ME.
DON'T TOUCH ME, OR HE'LL GET YOU TOO.
DAD, YOU HAVE TO PUT CHLORINE IN THE WATER EVERY DAY
TO KEEP IT CLEAN.
CHLORINE, EH?
( all bawling )
OH, MY FACE IS ON FIRE.
( groans )
OH, LOOK.
THERE'S BART.
WAVE TO HIM.
HMM, MAYBE WE SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME WITH BART.
HE'S BECOMING ISOLATED AND WEIRD.
I SWEAR I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE BOMBS ARE.
ONLY THE MINERS KNOW THAT.
( evil voice ): MAYBE THIS WILL LOOSEN YOUR TONGUE.
NO! AH..!
UH, BART?
DON'T TURN ON THAT LIGHT!
SORRY, I JUST CAME TO SEE HOW YOU WERE FEELING.
I'M FINE. JUST FINE.
WHAT ARE YOU WRITING HERE? A PLAY?
UH... NO.
UH-HUH.
"CAST OF CHARACTERS: VICEROY FIZZLEBOTTOM
A HEARTY CHERUB OF A MAN..."
GIVE ME THAT.
IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS.
SO, HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING
MISS POPULARITY?
OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, IT AIN'T SO GREAT.
BART, IT'S THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME
IN MY WHOLE LIFE!
WELL, ANYWAY I BROUGHT
YOU A PRESENT.
IT'S THE TELESCOPE
I WON AT THE OPTICS FESTIVAL.
THERE WAS AN OPTICS FESTIVAL, AND I WASN'T INFORMED?
YOU GO NOW. BUT...
GO!
WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
"THE LIGHTER SIDE OF HIPPIES."
THEY DON'T CARE WHOSE TOES THEY STEP ON.
( chuckles )
( Marge and Homer laughing )
Marge: THIS WAS A LOVELY IDEA, HOMEY.
COME HERE AND KISS ME.
MMM...
( screaming )
Do not be alarmed.
CONTINUE SWIMMING NAKED.
( munching )
AW, COME ON. CONTINUE.
COME ON. AW...
ALL RIGHT, LOU. OPEN FIRE.
Bart: WOW.
THE UNIVERSE IS SO BORING.
I KNOW.
I'LL USE THIS TO PEER INTO SPRINGFIELD'S SEAMY UNDERBELLY.
( Bart groans )
It turned out it was his evil twin.
( chuckling )
( Bart groans )
( Jimmy Stewart voice ): GRACE, COME HERE.
THERE'S A SINISTER-LOOKING KID I WANT YOU TO SEE.
( Bart groans )
I'M NEVER EVER GOING TO SEE ANYTHING INTERESTING
WITH THIS STUPID PIECE OF JUNK.
( high-pitched scream )
THAT CAME FROM FLANDERS' HOUSE.
OH...
( high-pitched scream )
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
I'VE KILLED HER.
CAN'T BE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
THIS IS FLANDERS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
NAH, I'LL JUST WATCH SOME TV.
Now, what you've been waiting for.
Another long raga by Ravi Shanker.
Shan-kar.
Shankar. Groovy, man.
( groans )
( snoring )
( noise outside )
HUH?
Bart: HUH? WHOA!
THIS CAN'T BE WHAT
IT LOOKS LIKE.
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME OTHER EXPLANATION.
I WISH THERE WAS SOME OTHER EXPLANATION FOR THIS.
BUT THERE ISN'T.
I'M A MURDERER. I'M A MURDERER.
THEN THAT'S NOT THE REAL NED FLANDERS.
I'M A MURDIDDLY-ERDLER!
IF IT'S NOT FLANDERS, HE'S DONE HIS HOMEWORK.
DADDY, WHERE'S MOMMY?
WE MISS HER.
MOMMY... HAD TO GO AWAY.
SHE'S WITH GOD NOW.
Both: YAY! CAN WE GO THERE TOO?
SOON ENOUGH.
Both: YAY!
( gasping )
HE'S GOING TO KILL ROD AND TODD TOO.
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
IN PRINCIPLE.
LOOK, LISA.
I FOUND THIS CHANGE
ON THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL.
YOU CAN HAVE IT.
THANKS, NELSON.
SOMEBODY TOOK MY JUICE MONEY!
LISA, PLEASE JOIN MY FAMILY FOR A WEEKEND IN THE COUNTRY.
THERE'LL BE HUNTING, CHARADES
AND EVER SO MANY DELIGHTFUL ROMANTIC MISUNDERSTANDINGS.
( clamoring for attention )
THEY'RE ONLY USING YOU FOR YOUR POOL, YOU KNOW.
SHUT UP, BRAIN!
I GOT FRIENDS NOW.
I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE.
DUH... YEAH, I'D LOVE TO GO TO YOUR HOUSE.
( chortling )
AH, MY PLAN
HAS COME TO FRUITION.
SOON I'LL BE QUEEN OF SUMMERTIME.
UH, KING. KING!
( inaudible )
DUDE, BUZZ HAS IT AN EVEN WUSSIER KID
HAS AN EVEN BETTER POOL THAN THIS.
HUH?
HELLO?
HEY, I'M STUCK IN HERE.
I GOT TO THINK OF A WAY TO GET OUT.
WELL, WELL, WELL.
LOOK WHO'S COME CRAWLING BACK.
LISTEN, NED FLANDERS MURDERED HIS WIFE.
BUT WHY? SHE'S SUCH A FOX.
I MEAN, WHAT'S ON FOX TONIGHT?
SOMETHING RIBALD, NO DOUBT.
I WISH YOU'D STOP SPREADING BAD RUMORS ABOUT PEOPLE.
REMEMBER HOW YOU GOT GRANDPA TARRED AND FEATHERED?
SURE. THAT WAS 20 MINUTES AGO.
GOING TO BE IN THE TUB FOR A WHILE.
BART, I'M REALLY SORRY I'VE BEEN IGNORING YOU LATELY.
I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH BEING POPULAR
BUT NOW THAT I'M UNPOPULAR AGAIN
I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M HERE FOR YOU.
YOU CAN START MAKING IT UP TO ME RIGHT NOW.
FLANDERS IS LEAVING THE HOUSE.
I WANT YOU TO SNEAK IN THERE
AND BRING ME BACK SOME EVIDENCE...
AND SOMETHING SWEET FOR LATER.
BART, I'M HERE FOR YOU, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO BREAK INTO SOMEBODY'S HOUSE.
ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT.
LET'S JUST FORGET ABOUT THAT. HERE..
LET ME READ TO YOU FROM MY PLAY.
"'KIPPERS FOR BREAKFAST, AUNT HELGA?
IS IT ST. SWITHEN'S DAY ALREADY?'"
"'TIS,' REPLIED AUNT HELGA..."
I'M GOING, I'M GOING!
( gasping )
A HUMAN HEAD!
PHEW!
OH. OF COURSE.
OH, NO. HE'S BACK.
FLANDERS IS BACK.
LISA, GET OUT OF THERE. NO, LISA, DON'T GO UPSTAIRS.
YOU'LL BE TRAPPED.
AN AXE!
HE'S GOT AN AXE.
I'LL SAVE YOU, LISA.
OW!
UH, I'LL SAVE YOU BY CALLING THE POLICE.
Moviefone voice: Hello, and welcome
to the Springfield Police Department Resc-U-Fone.
If you know the name of the felony being committed
press 1.
To choose from a list of felonies
press 2.
If you are being murdered
or are calling from a rotary phone
please stay on the line.
( frustrated growl )
You have selected regicide.
If you know the name
of the king or queen being murdered, press 1.
( yelling )
I'LL SAVE YOU, CAST OR NO CAST.
( grunting )
GOT TO SAVE LISA, TRASH CAN OR NO TRASH CAN.
D-OHH!
OH, NO.
THAT SINISTER-LOOKING KID
IS COMING TO KILL ME.
HELP! HELP! AAH!
Flanders: * MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
* LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB...
( gasping )
( panting and grunting )
AAH! AAH!
( footsteps )
( grunting )
( growling )
YEAH... YEAH... YEAH...
IT'S TIME TO PUT YOU AWAY.
( gasping )
PUT YOU AWAY FOR GOOD.
( screaming )
NO!!!!
HO..WHAT THE GUMDROPS IS GOING ON HERE?
I CAME TO STOP YOU
FROM MURDERING LISA LIKE YOU MURDERED YOUR WIFE.
MURDERED?
OHHH...
MURDERED?
OH NO, I'VE JUST BEEN
IN THE COUNTRY FOR A WEEK.
BUT I DISTINCTLY HEARD YOU SAY
THAT MAUDE WAS WITH GOD.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I WAS AT BIBLE CAMP.
I WAS LEARNING HOW TO BE MORE JUDGMENTAL.
BUT I SAW THE MURDER, AND I SAW YOU BURY THE CORPSE
IN THE BACKYARD.
ALL RIGHT, IT'S TRUE. I AM A MURDERER.
( gasping )
I OVER-WATERED
MAUDE'S FAVORITE FICUS PLANT
I PANICKED AND THEN I BURIED THE REMAINS.
I WAS HOPING TO REPLACE IT
BEFORE YOU GOT HOME.
BUT I HEARD A WOMAN SCREAM.
WELL, NOW, THAT I CAN'T EXPLAIN.
FOUND IT, CHIEF.
( high-pitched scream )
OH. WELL. I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.
NOT EVERYTHING.
THERE'S STILL THE LITTLE MATTER
OF THE WHEREABOUTS OF YOUR WIFE.
UM, I'M RIGHT HERE.
OH, I SEE. THEN EVERYTHING IS WRAPPED UP
IN A NEAT LITTLE PACKAGE.
REALLY, I MEAN THAT.
SORRY IF IT SOUNDED SARCASTIC.
( laughing and clamoring )
MORE FRIENDS! MORE ALLIES!
MORE, I SAY!
HANG THOSE WHO TALK OF LESS!
THERE'S A FEW INCHES OVER HERE! HO!
( screaming )
MY PRECIOUS POOL
AND ITS LIFESTYLE ACCOUTREMENTS. NO!
( grumbling )
HA-HA.
OH.
THE GENTLE CARESS OF A SUMMER BREEZE.
( pop ballad musical intro )
* THE SUMMER WIND
* CAME BLOWING IN
* FROM ACROSS THE SEA...
Shh!