1
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:11,279
( bell rings )

2
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,684
D-ohh!

3
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:35,035
* The Itchy & Scratchy show.

4
00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:39,973
( grunting )

5
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,754
( laughing )

6
00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,693
( laughing )

7
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,729
( moaning )

8
00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,067
( yells )

9
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,069
( Bart and Lisa laughing )

10
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,108
Thanks, kids.

11
00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:16,377
Now we'd like to speak to you
seriously for a moment.

12
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,045
Yup. This week is
the grand opening

13
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,880
of Itchy & Scratchy Land--

14
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,915
the violentest
place on Earth.

15
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:24,252
And to celebrate,
for this week only

16
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:26,720
we're cutting ticket
prices in half.

17
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,122
Yow!

18
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:34,295
Kids, you heard the cartoon rat.

19
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,396
If you haven't already
run to your parents

20
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,598
begging to go, do it now.

21
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:40,000
You won't be missing
anything funny.

22
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,935
I'll just be sitting here

23
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:44,305
reading this
grown-up's newspaper.

24
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:45,606
Go now!

25
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:47,675
Dad!

26
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,143
Remember how you said that

27
00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:51,745
Itchy & Scratchy Land
would be too damned expensive?

28
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,815
Oh everything's too damn
expensive these days.

29
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:57,851
Look at this Bible
I just got-- 15 bucks.

30
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,953
And talk about
a preachy book.

31
00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:03,090
Everybody's a sinner,
except for this guy.

32
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,325
But now
Itchy & Scratchy Land

33
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,594
is cutting ticket
prices in half.

34
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,796
Can we go, Dad?
Can we, can we, can we?

35
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:09,797
Take it, Lise.

36
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:10,798
Can we?

37
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:11,632
No, no, no, no, no.

38
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:12,533
Ask your mother.

39
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,268
Both:
Yay!

40
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:16,304
Mom, guess what?

41
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:18,939
We're going to
Itchy & Scratchy Land.

42
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,140
No.

43
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,176
I've already planned
our vacation.

44
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:25,145
We're going to the
Highway 9 Bird Sanctuary.

45
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:28,216
I understand they've installed
a new bird feeder this year.

46
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:32,220
It's shaped like a diner

47
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:35,088
and it's on this
really tall pole.

48
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:42,162
Mom, Dad, Bart's dead!

49
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:43,231
( both gasping )

50
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:44,698
That's right--

51
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:47,235
dead serious about going
to Itchy & Scratchy Land.

52
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:48,569
( both groaning )

53
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:51,138
You know,
Itchy & Scratchy Land
isn't just for kids.

54
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,741
They have a place
called Parents' Island.

55
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,008
Hmm?
Hmm?

56
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:57,144
"Yeah, dancing, bowling,
fashionable shops

57
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,480
"over 100 bars and saloons

58
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,516
and a world-class
chemical dependency center."

59
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,319
TV Town! Comic Land!

60
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:08,155
Oh, recipe-related
bumper cars.

61
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,891
( both gasping )

62
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,059
Yay!
Yay!

63
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,561
Wait a minute.

64
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,529
I'm not sure
about this.

65
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,030
Every time
we've ever gone on vacation

66
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,099
I end up being
horribly embarrassed.

67
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:22,870
We end up in a big fight
and we come home more miserable
than when we left.

68
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,839
You have to promise me
that this isn't gonna happen
this time.

69
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,575
Embarrassed?
What are you talking about?

70
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,511
Well, there was our trip
to the Amish Country.

71
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,846
Oh, yes.

72
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:38,185
Hey look, Marge,
they're still
not fighting back.

73
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,186
I can be a jerk

74
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,290
and no one
can stop me.

75
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,292
Marge:
Even worse was our trip

76
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,426
to Sandy Beach.

77
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:49,297
( all screaming )

78
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,864
( laughing )

79
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,400
Suckers.

80
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:53,367
( laughing )

81
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,234
( screaming )

82
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,404
Shark Boy!

83
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:01,208
This year I want us to do things
together as a family

84
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,210
and get a lot
of good exercise outdoors

85
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,213
so we'll have a lot
of wonderful memories
of our vacation.

86
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,315
Don't worry, mom.

87
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,317
We'll make you
proud of us.

88
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:11,485
Lobster hat,
fishnet Speedo Speedo Junior

89
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:15,989
wheelie shoes,
invisible dog leash.

90
00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,391
Well, I'm packed.

91
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,660
Marge:
And remember, every morning,
give one bowl of kibble

92
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:22,262
to Santa's little helper.

93
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:23,831
Do you want me to write
any of this down?

94
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:26,800
No. I ain't senile,
Dad-blasted!

95
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,402
Okay, bye-bye.

96
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:29,737
Lisa:
Bye, Grandpa!

97
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:30,838
Wait a minute.

98
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,440
What was that last thing
you said?

99
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,475
Grandpa's little helper?

100
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,644
What's that?

101
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,979
Which one of you
is the mailman?

102
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,916
Okay, let's make a pact.

103
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,952
This is gonna be
the best vacation ever

104
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:48,322
or we'll all agree to disband
and join other families.

105
00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:49,289
All:
Agreed.

106
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:51,992
Ah, the interstate.

107
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,827
Fasten your seat belts, kids.

108
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,329
We're on our way

109
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:56,830
to Itchy & Scratchy Land!

110
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,699
All:
D-ohh!

111
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,100
Don't worry.

112
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,670
I've got an ace
up my sleeve.

113
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,137
( honking )

114
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,320
Dad, can we stop
at Flickey's?

115
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,389
Homer:
No.

116
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:30,197
Oh, my God,
what'll I do?
what'll I do?!

117
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,365
What's the matter
with you, Homer?

118
00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:34,668
We don't have any fruits
or vegetables in the car.

119
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:37,337
The whole trunk's
full of them, Marge.

120
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,875
You got any fruits
or vegetables?

121
00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:45,413
( panicky scream )

122
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:48,348
Hey. Mr. Wimbley,
it happened again.

123
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,484
Now to absorb
some local color

124
00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:53,020
through the magic
of A.M. radio.

125
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,988
The book of Revelations

126
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:58,526
tells us to watch for
the seven signs of evil...

127
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,994
....sign of evil number four.

128
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,731
Continuing our
"sign of evil" countdown

129
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,599
here's Vanessa Williams.

130
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:13,273
Aw, haven't we stood in five
different states long enough?

131
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,141
No.

132
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,554
We better find a motel
and stop for the night.

133
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,456
We don't need
to do that, Marge.

134
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,957
I'm not tired.

135
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,792
I'm not tired at all.

136
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:36,396
( tires screeching )

137
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,398
Ooh, glad that wasn't us.

138
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,368
north... south...

139
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,870
Ah, nuts to this.

140
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,938
I'm going to take
a shortcut.

141
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:45,906
Homer, no.

142
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:46,774
You're going to get lost.

143
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,208
Trust me, Marge.

144
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:51,078
With today's modern cars,
you can't get lost--

145
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,647
what, with all
the silicon chips and such.

146
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,492
All right,
we're here.

147
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:07,561
Let us never speak
of the shortcut again.

148
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:10,931
Now remember, we're
in the Itchy lot.

149
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,605
Pilot:
We're now approaching
our final destination.

150
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:18,906
Itchy & Scratchy Land--

151
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,674
The amusement park of the future
where nothing

152
00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:23,143
can possi-blye go wrong.

153
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,178
Possibly go wrong.

154
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:28,482
Huh. That's the first thing
that's ever gone wrong.

155
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,829
( kids laughing )

156
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:48,802
One adult
and four children.

157
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:51,104
Would you like to buy some
Itchy & Scratchy Money?

158
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,205
What's that?

159
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,607
It's money made
just for the park.

160
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:56,944
It works just like regular
money, but it's fun.

161
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:57,845
Do it, Dad.

162
00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,713
Well, okay,
if it's fun.

163
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:00,814
Let's see...

164
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:03,150
I'll take $1,100 worth.

165
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:09,523
( groans )

166
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:14,662
Ha, cool!

167
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:15,729
Wow!

168
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:16,730
Neat-o!

169
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:18,999
Such a violent motif.

170
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,801
Yeah, but
it's just
pretend violence

171
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,070
which is actually
beneficial for children.

172
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,471
Ow!

173
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,573
( soft growl )

174
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:26,907
( laughs )

175
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,309
There's no need
to murmur, Ma'am.

176
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,011
Here at Itchy & Scratchy Land

177
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:33,380
we're just as concerned
about violence as you are.

178
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:36,817
That's why we're always
careful to show the consequences

179
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:40,053
of deadly mayhem so that we
may educate as well as horrify.

180
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:42,422
When do you show the
consequences?

181
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,391
On TV, that mouse pulled out
that cat's lungs

182
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,525
and played them
like a bagpipe.

183
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:48,596
But in the next scene, the cat
was breathing comfortably.

184
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,763
Just like in real life.

185
00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:52,432
Hey, look
over there!
Yoing!

186
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,071
I'll have a Brain Burger
with extra pus, please?

187
00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,072
Bart!

188
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:00,040
Eyeball stew.

189
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,875
Homer,
We just got here

190
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:05,045
and already I'm mortified
beyond belief by your
embarrassing behavior.

191
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,346
I was just ordering
a cheeseburger, Mom.

192
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,082
They have violent names
for everything here.

193
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,083
Oh, I see.

194
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,451
All right.

195
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,186
Mmm...

196
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,555
I'll have the Baby Guts.

197
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,257
Lady, you disgust me.

198
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,626
( disgusted snort )

199
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,460
Mom, that's veal.

200
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:21,394
Oh.

201
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,530
Marge:
You're sure

202
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,765
she'll have fun here?

203
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:25,766
Oh, of course.

204
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:28,468
Babies love the ball room.

205
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,613
Marge:
"Torture Land"

206
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:42,049
"Explosion Land"

207
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:45,085
"Searing Gas Pain Land"

208
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:48,588
"Unnecessary Surgery Land."

209
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:51,759
Homer: Oh look!
It's the 12:00
robot parade.

210
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,962
Hurry up or we'll have to wait
for the 12:05 parade.

211
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,680
( gunfire )

212
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:18,819
Wow, this is so much
like my dreams it's scary.

213
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:28,595
Aw, look at that
cute little baby ax.

214
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,429
It's cute

215
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,497
but I'm sure it's very sharp

216
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:33,633
- and probably dirty.
- ( laughing )

217
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:34,668
Dirty, maybe.

218
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:36,003
Dangerous, hardly.

219
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:39,339
These are the latest
state-of-the-art
animatronic robots.

220
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,442
They have sensors that ensure
they only attack each other--

221
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,977
never the guests.

222
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,460
Marge:
See all that
stuff in there, Homer?

223
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,996
That's why your robot
never worked.

224
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,735
( clicking )

225
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:11,705
( quiet banjo plays )

226
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:14,041
This is just what
I was hoping for--

227
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,977
spending the day together
as a family.

228
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,912
( screaming )

229
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,222
( screaming )

230
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:33,927
Yay!
Yay!

231
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:36,730
You know, part
of spending time

232
00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:38,498
together as a family

233
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,500
is spending time apart
as individuals.

234
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,769
Parents' Island?

235
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,036
Yeah-huh. I'm
sure we'll appreciate

236
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:46,373
each other all the more
when we meet up at dinner.

237
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,275
Are you kids gonna
be all right?

238
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:49,276
Kids?

239
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,310
( laughing )

240
00:11:57,484 --> 00:12:01,188
Homer:
It i the '70s-- right down
to the smallest detail.

241
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,589
Hey, the bartender

242
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,291
even looks like
John Travolta.

243
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,126
Yeah. Looks like.

244
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:10,097
Look at all this
great stuff, Lise.

245
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,865
Cool-- personalized plates.

246
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:12,866
"Barclay"

247
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,067
"Barry"

248
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,135
"Bert"

249
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,136
"Bort"?

250
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,737
Aw, come on-- Bort?

251
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:20,040
Mommy, buy me
a license plate!

252
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,574
No. Come along, Bort.

253
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:23,143
Are you talking to me?

254
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,312
No. My son is
also named Bort.

255
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,114
Who are all
these characters?

256
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:28,715
Well, you're probably
too young to remember

257
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,051
the short-lived
Itchy & Scratchy
and Friends Hour.

258
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,652
They had to come up
with some friends.

259
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,621
There's
Disgruntled Goat

260
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:36,723
Uncle Ant,
Ku Klux Klam.

261
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:37,757
Oh, yeah.

262
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,626
They weren't very funny.

263
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:40,560
I don't know.

264
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,995
Disgruntled Goat
had his moments.

265
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,932
( muffled humming )

266
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,469
( martial arts yell )

267
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,939
( groaning )

268
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,413
Welcome to T.G.I. McScratchy's

269
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,783
where it's constantly
New Year's Eve.

270
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,785
Here we go again!

271
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:09,923
Three, two, one...

272
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:12,459
crowd:
Happy New Year!

273
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,627
( cheering )

274
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:18,765
It must be wonderful

275
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,701
to ring in the new year
over and over and over.

276
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,871
Please, kill me.

277
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:26,874
( explosions )

278
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,641
( laughing )

279
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:35,815
( grunts )

280
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,384
( groaning )

281
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,655
The babies
look unhappy.

282
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,191
Add more balls.

283
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,698
Roger Meyers, Sr.,
the gentle genius

284
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,867
behind Itchy & Scratchy

285
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:57,137
loved and cared about almost
all the peoples of the world

286
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,207
and he, in return,
was beloved by the world

287
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,543
except in 1938
when he was criticized

288
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,012
for his controversial cartoon

289
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,814
Nazi Supermen
Are Our Superiors.

290
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:11,151
Among his proudest achievements
was the full-length musical

291
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,585
Scratchtasia.

292
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:27,867
( panting )

293
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,709
( yelling )

294
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:58,831
( evil laughter )

295
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:08,241
Hey Ma, I'm goin'
get me a picture

296
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,943
of this crazy critter.

297
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,912
( nervous laughing )

298
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,315
Uh, no flash
photography, please.

299
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,122
Roger Meyer's
next full-length feature

300
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,324
was the wildly successful
Pinnitchy-o.

301
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:27,560
Now you be a good,
Pinnitchy-o

302
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,062
and don't you lie.

303
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:31,931
I promise I will
never hurt you.

304
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,333
Ouch!

305
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,068
I wonder if this
kind of violence

306
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,837
really does
desensitize us.

307
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:42,976
Want to get
a sno cone?

308
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,011
Okay.

309
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,982
( both gasp )

310
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:50,750
So, Mr. Itchy,
you think you're

311
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,853
God's gift to
women, do ya?

312
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,055
Don't do it, Bart.

313
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:01,694
Ow!

314
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,030
( groaning )

315
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,498
I just wanted to entertain.

316
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:06,366
( laughing )

317
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,634
Can you believe

318
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,137
I keep getting
away with this?

319
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,704
Uh, officer?

320
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,574
( elevator bell ringing )

321
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,681
Mop-and-bucket man
to the exit of
The Nauseator.

322
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,983
We have another jumper
on the roof of T.G.I.
McScratchy's.

323
00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,818
We need more
"Bort" license plates

324
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,120
in the gift shop.

325
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:30,357
I repeat, we are sold out
of Bort license plates.

326
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,526
Aah!

327
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,895
I really wished
they wouldn't scream.

328
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,532
Dad?

329
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,000
I kicked one of those

330
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,036
stupid Itchy characters
in the butt.

331
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:46,039
There's no way to resist it,
is there?

332
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,642
I want all five
t-shirts to say

333
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,311
"best vacation ever."

334
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:54,647
Man:
Attention, Marge Simpson,
your son has been arrested.

335
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,882
( crowd gasps )

336
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,217
I'd be
terribly embarrassed

337
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,918
if I were that
boy's mother.

338
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,087
( soft growl )

339
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,555
Attention Marge Simpson.
We've also arrested

340
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:05,192
your older,
balder, fatter son.

341
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,127
( soft growl )

342
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,263
I'm so embarrassed.

343
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,164
I wish there was a hole

344
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,899
I could just
crawl into and die.

345
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,367
Okay, throw her
in the hole.

346
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:17,204
Oh please!
It was just a figure
of speech.

347
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,271
( exasperated growl )

348
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,774
You've got to listen to me.

349
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:24,377
Elementary chaos theory
tells us that all robots

350
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,279
will eventually turn
against their masters

351
00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:30,016
and run amok in an orgy
of blood and kicking

352
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,918
and the biting
with the metal teeth

353
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:32,952
and the hurting and shoving.

354
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,355
How much time do we
have, Professor?

355
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,524
Well, according to
my calculations

356
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,893
the robots won't go
berserk for at least
24 hours.

357
00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:42,162
( groaning )

358
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:47,700
Oh, I forgot to carry the one.

359
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,302
I have nothing
to say to you.

360
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:51,704
But Marge, I was
a political prisoner.

361
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,406
How were you
a political prisoner?

362
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,642
I kicked a giant mouse
in the butt!

363
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:59,212
Do I have to draw you
a diagram?

364
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:01,814
Oh, for gosh sakes,
what now?

365
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,558
Hey, look.

366
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,093
This one's coming on to me.

367
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,662
Yoo-hoo!

368
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:16,763
Mr. Robot.

369
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,071
Lisa:
Dad, I think you're

370
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,073
wrong about that robot
trying to be your friend.

371
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,275
Lisa, don't...

372
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,310
contradict...
your... elders.

373
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:31,344
Ah!

374
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:32,779
My hair!

375
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,347
You chopped off my hair.

376
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:35,915
Oh, God, I'm ugly.

377
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,818
I knew we should have gone
to the bird sanctuary.

378
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,420
( chirping and twittering )

379
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:44,191
( screaming )

380
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:48,361
I need the biggest seed bell
you have.

381
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:50,697
No, that's too big.

382
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,133
A chopper! We're saved.

383
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,637
Hey, you're the guys
who didn't like our capering.

384
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:00,540
When you get to hell,
tell them Itchy sent you.

385
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,408
( grunts )

386
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,380
Oh my.
It looks like we're doomed.

387
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,049
Back, you robots!

388
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:13,353
Nobody ruins
my family vacation but me

389
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,054
and maybe the boy.

390
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:18,024
( grunting )

391
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,001
( screaming )

392
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:33,906
( all screaming )

393
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:36,509
Dad! The flash must have
scrambled their circuits.

394
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:38,245
What are you,
the narrator?

395
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,847
Ahh! Just keep taking pictures.

396
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:41,881
( clicking )

397
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,383
I'll get more cameras.

398
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,085
( grunting )

399
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,187
Smashy-smashy.

400
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,690
I don't approve of that.

401
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,361
( screaming )

402
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,398
Hey, mouse...

403
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,834
Say cheese.

404
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:02,702
With a dry, cool wit
like that

405
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,371
I could be an action hero.

406
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:05,338
( cameras clicking )

407
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:06,739
( groaning )

408
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,216
Die, bad robots, die!

409
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,552
With a dry, cool wit
like that

410
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:20,787
I could be
an action hero.
Who would
have thought

411
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:21,788
that our visit to
Itchy & Scratchy Land

412
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:24,524
would be our
best vacation ever?

413
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,092
Yeah, best ever.

414
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,194
Are you two bonkers?

415
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,596
We almost got killed.

416
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:32,098
Not to mention all
the embarrassment I suffered.

417
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:35,101
But Mom, it's exactly what
you wanted in a vacation.

418
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,769
It brought us
together as a family.

419
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,272
We got a lot
of good exercise outdoors

420
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:41,107
and we have so many memories.

421
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:44,377
You know you're right.
This truly was the best
vacation ever.

422
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,646
Now let us never
speak of it again.

423
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,383
As Roger Meyers, Jr.,
the owner of the park

424
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:53,252
I'd like to thank you
for stopping the killer robots,

425
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:56,389
and to show my appreciation,
here are two free passes.

426
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:57,390
But there are five of us.

427
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,891
( louder ):
Here are two free passes.

428
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,293
That's better.

429
00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:02,128
Man, if this is happening here

430
00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:04,130
I'd hate to think
what's happening

431
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,433
in Euro Itchy & Scratchy Land.

432
00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:14,140
( French accent ):
Hello! Itchy & Scratchy Land
open for business.

433
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:17,243
Who are you to resist it, eh?

434
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,478
Come on.

435
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:19,912
My last paycheck bounced.

436
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,915
My children need wine.

437
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,785
( yelling in French )

438
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:29,021
( Lisa and Bart laughing )

439
00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:32,759
I hope you realize now

440
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,193
that violence on TV
may be funny

441
00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:35,261
but it's not so funny

442
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,330
when that violence
is happening to you.

443
00:21:37,364 --> 00:21:40,099
But it would
be funny to someone
who was watching us.

444
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:41,267
( soft growl )

445
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,201
No Mom, he's right.

446
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:44,003
Observe.

447
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,171
Ow!

448
00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:46,272
( laughs )

449
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,274
( all laughing )

450
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,308
Oh, my.

451
00:21:49,342 --> 00:21:51,010
Lisa, go to your room.

452
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,379
( low growl )

453
00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:44,531
Shh!