1 00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:20,020 ( bell ringing ) 2 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:25,126 ( whistle blows ) 3 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:39,207 ( blues playing ) 4 00:00:58,326 --> 00:01:00,161 ( horn honks ) 5 00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:05,133 D-ohh! 6 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,267 ( screams ) 7 00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:13,174 ( big band music plays ) 8 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,279 ( carnival music plays ) 9 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,817 ( elephants trumpet ) 10 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:46,940 Hey, Moe, you got change for a five? 11 00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,242 Yeah sure thing, Lenny. 12 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:51,245 Ah! Ow! Ooh! 13 00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:53,347 A snake in the cash register! 14 00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,648 ( all laughing ) 15 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:56,317 Great prank, fellas. Great. 16 00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,419 Oh, I'm going to be sick tonight. 17 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,289 Hey, Moe, you want to smell my flower? 18 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,323 Do I! 19 00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:07,094 Oh, I'm burnin' up here! 20 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,462 Oh, that's hot. 21 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:11,332 Taking advantage of my alcohol-soaked clothes. 22 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:14,268 Oh, it's funny-- and it makes you think. 23 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:16,870 I need some coffee before I black out. 24 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,340 Homer, pass me the sugar. 25 00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,242 This is gonna be great! 26 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,712 ( all groaning ) 27 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,848 Oh, there's sugar all over the bar now. 28 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,683 That's not funny, Homer. 29 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:32,186 Yeah. We were just messin' around 30 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,322 and you had to go too far! 31 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:38,192 How many people want Homer banned from this place for life? 32 00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:39,159 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 33 00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,394 Aw, come on, everybody. 34 00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:42,996 This bar is like a tavern to me. 35 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,898 Sorry Homer, you should have thought of that 36 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,034 before you gave me the old "sugar me do." 37 00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:51,004 I'm taking your caricature down from Mount Lushmore 38 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:52,072 and I'm pulling 39 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:55,008 your favorite song out of the jukebox. 40 00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:57,010 "It's Raining Men"?! 41 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,146 Not no more, it ain't. 42 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,582 Ow. 43 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,317 Ooh! 44 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:06,053 ( yelling ) 45 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,755 ( chuckles ) Joke's on them. 46 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,623 I'm still alive. 47 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:13,261 Cheer up, Homer. 48 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,362 Can't. 49 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,429 Okay. 50 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:18,065 What if you pretended this couch were a bar? 51 00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:21,235 Then you could spend more nights at home with us. Huh? 52 00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:24,238 I'm not going to dignify that with an answer. 53 00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:25,873 Look on the bright side, Dad. 54 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,908 Did you know that the Chinese use the same word 55 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,043 for "crisis" as they do for "opportunity"? 56 00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:31,279 Yes! "cristitunity!" 57 00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,347 You're right! 58 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:36,116 I've been wasting my life away in that dump for years. 59 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,285 That's it! 60 00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:39,520 I'm going to find a new bar to drink in 61 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:43,457 and I'm going to get drunker than I've ever been in my entire life! 62 00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:46,294 Bart, where's my wallet? 63 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:47,295 Right here, Dad. 64 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,396 Thank you! 65 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,304 Wow. Classy. 66 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:57,538 Good evening, sir. 67 00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,608 Would you please leave without a fuss right now? 68 00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:01,809 Okay. 69 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:11,251 Hmm... this looks like a nice, friendly place. 70 00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:13,421 Sammy, you're too old to go on a date with two twins 71 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:16,089 on the same night you're supposed to marry Diane 72 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,124 without Rebecca knowing. 73 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,826 Okay Carla, I'll make you a bet. 74 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:21,329 If this affects my major league comeback 75 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,296 I'll sell the bar. 76 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,231 Woody, give me a beer. 77 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,234 I think you've had enough, Mr. Peterson. 78 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,103 My chiropractor says I can't carry you home anymore. 79 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:33,507 Just give me another beer, you brain-dead hick! 80 00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:36,076 I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you! 81 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,311 Woah, settle down Normy. 82 00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:39,413 Gotta save those pipes for karaoke. 83 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:40,948 ( shrieks ) 84 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,652 I love you guys. 85 00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,354 ( sobbing ) 86 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:50,057 ( piano plays ) 87 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,963 Wait a minute. 88 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:59,700 There's something bothering me about this place. 89 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:05,373 I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! 90 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,941 Enjoy your deathtrap, ladies. 91 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,843 What was her problem? 92 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,513 ( English accent ): Greetings, good men. 93 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:15,616 Might I trouble you for a drink? 94 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,385 Oh get out of here, Homer. 95 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:20,220 Homer? Who is Homer? 96 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:23,323 My name is Don Incognito. 97 00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:25,459 ( crashing ) 98 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,860 Ah! 99 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:30,498 ( gasps ) 100 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,532 Oh, my God. 101 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,634 This man is my exact double! 102 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,535 ( gasps ) 103 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:37,405 That dog has a puffy tail! 104 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:38,739 ( giggling ) 105 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,041 Here, puff! Here, puff! 106 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:42,342 ( giggling ) 107 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,880 The last bar in Springfield. 108 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:50,818 If they don't let me in here, I'm gonna have to quit drinking. 109 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:51,885 Yay! 110 00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,521 Shut up, liver! 111 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:56,123 Ow... my liver hurts. 112 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,162 I'd like a beer, please. 113 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,498 Sorry. You got to be a pilot to drink in here. 114 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,666 But I am a pilot. 115 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,100 Where's your uniform? 116 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:10,671 Um... I stowed it safely in the overhead compartment. 117 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,673 Well, you talk the talk. 118 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,408 Here's a loaner. 119 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,376 We need a pilot, pronto. 120 00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:18,278 Who wants to fly to the windy city? 121 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,913 I'll go. I'm your man. Me! 122 00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:21,449 Conditions are a little windy. 123 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,382 Never mind. 124 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:23,417 Some other time. 125 00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:24,418 You. 126 00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,186 But I... 127 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,955 Hey, you're not just impersonating a pilot 128 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,590 so you can drink here, are you? 129 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:32,460 Yeah. That's exactly why I'm here. 130 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:33,527 ( laughs ) 131 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:35,896 You fly boys, you crack me up. 132 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,432 But I keep telling you, I'm not a pilot! 133 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:41,569 And I keep telling you, you fly boys crack me up! 134 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:42,870 Hi. I'm Alan. I'm your copilot. 135 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,138 Uh, yeah. Uh... hmm. 136 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,240 As a change of pace, 137 00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,577 I'm gonna let you do most of the work. 138 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,479 I think you're ready for it, Alan. 139 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:56,617 And, um, I'll just get us started... 140 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,589 Uh, we'll need that to land. 141 00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:10,631 If word gets out about this, 142 00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:14,234 Quasi-Clown Airlines will be a laughingstock. 143 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,636 In exchange for your silence, 144 00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,338 I'm prepared to offer your family free tickets 145 00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:20,240 to anywhere in the United States... 146 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,309 excluding Alaska and Hawaii, the freak states. 147 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,911 Woo-hoo! 148 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,145 Good news, everybody! 149 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:28,582 Because I endangered lives, we can fly anywhere we want! 150 00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:29,950 Alaska! Hawaii! 151 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,620 Mmm... I don't know, Homer. 152 00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:35,789 We're right in the middle of the busy housekeeping season. 153 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:39,159 But Marge, you deserve a vacation. 154 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:42,696 It's a chance for you to clean up after us in a whole other state! 155 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:45,533 I don't want to be a wet blanket, but getting on a plane like that 156 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,467 seems like a hassle coupled with a burden. 157 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:50,671 Come on Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. 158 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,606 I want to explore the world. 159 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,342 I want to watch TV in a different time zone. 160 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,444 I want to visit strange, exotic malls. 161 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,779 I'm sick of eating hoagies. 162 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,715 I want a grinder... a sub... a foot-long hero! 163 00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:03,651 I want to live, Marge! 164 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,318 Won't you let me live?! 165 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,487 Won't you please?! 166 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:13,393 ( chomping ) 167 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,895 So, Marge... 168 00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:16,530 pretty sweet, eh? 169 00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:19,567 I forgot to clean the lint basket in the dryer. 170 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,669 If someone broke into the house and did laundry, 171 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:22,770 it could start a fire. 172 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,238 ( baby crying ) 173 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:29,910 Oh, great-- I specifically asked not to be seated next to a baby. 174 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,715 Wow! We must be really flying high! 175 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:39,319 Those people down there look all tiny and blurry 176 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,488 just like the inside of a cataract. 177 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,223 Attention, passengers. 178 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,926 Due to our policy of overselling flights 179 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,195 this flight has been oversold. 180 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,030 In accordance with F.A.A. rules, 181 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,232 the first two people to the front 182 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,267 will be upgraded to first class. 183 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:57,738 ( all yelling ) 184 00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,673 Okay, you two. 185 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,074 Come on, Bart. 186 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:03,210 They're going to pamper us. ( gasps ) 187 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,378 Not literally, of course. 188 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:16,890 I come for the service, but I stay for the leg room. 189 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,029 Flight crew, prepare for takeoff. 190 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,764 ( panting ) 191 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:29,136 I think I'll go get a picture of the plane taking off. 192 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,537 Marge, what's wrong? 193 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,640 Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? 194 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:34,107 Gassy? Is it gas? 195 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,575 It's gas, isn't it? 196 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:38,612 Homer, I've never told you this before, 197 00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:40,113 but I'm not a good flyer. 198 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:43,216 ( raspy panting ) 199 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,585 I have to get off the plane. 200 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,587 Let me off the plane. 201 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:50,658 I'm asking you nicely to open the doors. 202 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:53,627 Take it easy, Marge. How about if we dope you up real good? 203 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,395 Let me off! Let me off! 204 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,297 Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! 205 00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,000 Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! 206 00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:04,404 It's okay, Marge. 207 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,940 We don't need to go on a trip. 208 00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:11,344 We'll just wait for the killer bees to come to us. 209 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:20,353 You know, I have this feeling that we forgot something. 210 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:23,724 Ah! 211 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,594 I'm sure it's nothing. 212 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,096 Mom, are you feeling any better? 213 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,865 Yes, but I'd rather not talk about it. 214 00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,867 Permit me to solve the mystery. 215 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:36,103 Your mother has a fear of flying. 216 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:39,539 So much for the days when I could say 'at least my mother's normal.' 217 00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,374 Everybody's got a fear of something. 218 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,043 Not everybody. 219 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,544 Sock puppets. 220 00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,713 Where? Where? ( screams ) 221 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:48,615 Mom, are you sure you don't want to discuss it? 222 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,684 Sure as sugar. 223 00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:52,652 ( forced laugh ) 224 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,157 Lisa, the important thing is for your mother 225 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,658 to repress what happened. 226 00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:01,795 Push it deep down inside her 227 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:04,464 so she'll never annoy us again. 228 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,566 But if we don't encourage her to vent her feelings 229 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,368 they can come out in other ways. 230 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:12,039 I just realized we never had a wedding for the cat and the dog. 231 00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,707 They've been living in sin. 232 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,419 Mom, you've been cooking all night? 233 00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:30,357 Judge, jury and executioner all rolled into one you are. 234 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:33,026 See, Dad? I told you Mom would have problems. 235 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,328 No, no, honey, it's all right. 236 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:38,098 Really, I'm fine. I'm all right. 237 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,566 Mother always said "don't complain. 238 00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:42,936 Be good. Behave. Behave. Be nice. Smile. Be polite. 239 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,772 Don't make waves." 240 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,774 You heard your mother's ramblings. 241 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,776 She's fine, so behave. 242 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,878 ( hammering ) 243 00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:56,416 Marge, it's 3:00 A.M. 244 00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,118 Shouldn't you be baking? 245 00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,753 In a little while. 246 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,390 Mom, can we talk to you? 247 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,457 Can't talk. 248 00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:07,727 Keeping myself in a state of cat-like readiness. 249 00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,130 Uh... neat. 250 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,800 Anyway Mom, maybe you should go into therapy. 251 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,134 No, I don't need therapy. 252 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,069 I'm fine, and it's too expensive. 253 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,737 And I don't believe in it. 254 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,206 It breaks up families.. 255 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,142 turns wives against husbands, children against fathers, 256 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,077 neighbors against me. 257 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:26,914 You don't have to pay some fancy psychiatrist 258 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:29,917 ten bucks an hour to get top-notch therapy. 259 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,584 Hello, Radio Psychic. 260 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,753 You will die a terrible, terrible death. 261 00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,155 ( gasps ) 262 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,825 Ooh, I'm sorry. That was our last caller. 263 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:40,493 Okay, I'm getting something now. 264 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:43,296 Huh...okay, you will die a terrible, terrible death. 265 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,398 Thank you for calling Radio Psychic. 266 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,400 Do you have a song request? 267 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:48,836 "It's Raining Men." 268 00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,941 Now Marge, Dear Abby says seeing films about air travel 269 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,775 can calm your fears. 270 00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,811 Ooh, here are some upbeat titles. 271 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:06,019 Man 1: No thanks to the plane, many of us are still... 272 00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:07,955 group: alive. 273 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,756 Man 2: We certainly are. 274 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,024 ( chomping and slurping ) 275 00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:13,927 Man 3: Pass me another hunk of co-pilot. 276 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,829 Dad, Mom's getting worse. 277 00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,697 You have to take her to see a real psychiatrist. 278 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,366 Look how tense she is. 279 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,101 She's fine. 280 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,003 Oh. 281 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,843 Alright Lisa, you got your way. 282 00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:32,112 Your mom's going to a psychiatrist. 283 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,981 She's going to tell Marge to leave me. 284 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,048 It'll break up the family 285 00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:36,683 and you'll have to live with your grandmother 286 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:37,985 and pick beans. 287 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,786 Dad, I like picking beans with Grandma. 288 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,688 Well, keep it up then. 289 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:42,789 Okay, I will. 290 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,291 Good. You do that. 291 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,625 Fine. 292 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,627 You'll be picking many a bean. 293 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,828 Hope I do. 294 00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:51,464 I don't believe it. 295 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,901 Principal Skinner! 296 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,702 Well, well, well. 297 00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,238 I never thought I'd win this easy. 298 00:13:58,271 --> 00:13:59,839 Ha, this has nothing to do with you, Simpson. 299 00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:04,978 I have many, many issues with my beloved smother... mother. 300 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:07,514 Bart, leave that man alone with his pain and sit down. 301 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:08,581 Okay. 302 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,183 ( laughing ) 303 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,920 ( blubbering ) 304 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,554 All right, how much do you charge? 305 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,823 If money's a problem, I charge on a sliding scale. 306 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,526 I can go as low as $30 an hour. 307 00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:20,827 Keep sliding. 308 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,996 $30 will be fine. 309 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,097 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 310 00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,900 First, what are your qualifications? 311 00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:29,002 Well... 312 00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,370 Oh, no. 313 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,906 I'm not here to take a reading test. 314 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,774 I want to see some credentials. 315 00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,076 I'm sorry, Doctor. 316 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,211 He's just afraid you'll blame all my problems on him. 317 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,280 I'm not here to blame anyone. 318 00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,051 Marge, therapy can be an intense process. 319 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,185 Uh-huh. 320 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,387 We're going to delve deeply into your subconscious 321 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,390 and we're not going to stop until we've exposed 322 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:53,226 the root of your fear of flying. 323 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,861 Hmm... 324 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,764 Don't worry. This is a private sanctuary. 325 00:14:57,797 --> 00:15:01,969 Where whatever transpires will be just between us. 326 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:02,869 Whuh? 327 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,737 Oh that's just Murray the window washer. 328 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,739 He comes every day at 12:00. 329 00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,808 But it's a few seconds before 12:00. 330 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,310 ( crashing ) ( Homer yelling, falling ) 331 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,619 Ever since you started therapy, 332 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,721 all you can do is talk about yourself. 333 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,456 Well, what about me, Marge? 334 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,892 I just left my first session, and I haven't even opened 335 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:26,994 my mouth yet. 336 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,161 You see? You see? 337 00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:31,098 "I just left my first session 338 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:34,134 andhaven't opened my mouth yet." 339 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:37,937 Marge, there's no simple explanation for your fear of flying, 340 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:41,241 but it can probably be traced to some childhood trauma. 341 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,642 Think back. 342 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,844 What's the earliest memory you have 343 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:46,746 of something bad happening? 344 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:51,084 That would have to be my first day of school. 345 00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:56,023 They got this thing called a fire drill. 346 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,958 They use it to drill a flaming hole 347 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,093 in your head. 348 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,361 ( groaning ) 349 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,530 And there's only one big toilet 350 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:07,834 and they make you all go at the same time. 351 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,669 ( laughing ) 352 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:13,373 Marge: The kids at school were even worse. 353 00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,979 Ew! You like The Monkees? 354 00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,849 You know they don't write their own songs. 355 00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:23,950 They do so. 356 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,218 They don't even play their own instruments. 357 00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:27,654 No! No! 358 00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:30,157 That's not even Michael Nesmith's real hat. 359 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,458 ( screaming ) 360 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,660 Kids can be so cruel. 361 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,962 But it's true. They didn't write their own songs 362 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,031 or play their own instruments. 363 00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:40,133 The Monkees weren't about music, Marge. 364 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:43,336 They were about rebellion, about political and social upheaval! 365 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:45,672 Mmm. 366 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,541 Did you talk about me in therapy today? 367 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:49,676 I don't think so. 368 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,044 Tell me the truth! 369 00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:53,813 Don't tell her I raised my voice! Don't. 370 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,182 ( mad laughter ) 371 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,716 Happy family, happy family. 372 00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,919 I keep having the same dream. 373 00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:04,023 I am the mother from Lost in Space. 374 00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:06,259 Ready for breakfast, Dr. Smith? 375 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:09,062 Being stuck on this Godforsaken planet 376 00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:11,831 has vanquished what little appetite I have. 377 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,201 ( chomping ) 378 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,935 Warning! Warning! 379 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:20,507 Dr. Smith refuses to do his astro chores. 380 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,910 Why, you clattering clank of cogs and... 381 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,079 My dear lady, as you well know, my back is a disaster area. 382 00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,448 Oh the pain. Oh, the pain of it all! 383 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,683 Danger! Danger! 384 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,120 My hooks are flailing wildly! 385 00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:36,956 Wait! 386 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:39,058 Daddy, wait, please! 387 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,893 Don't leave! 388 00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:43,029 Take me with you! 389 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,098 Marge, are you aware you just said 390 00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:47,400 "Please don't leave" to your Daddy? 391 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,935 No, I didn't. 392 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:49,969 Yes, you did. 393 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:53,106 And you also infringed on any number of copyrights. 394 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:56,075 Now, let's talk about your father. 395 00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,811 Sure, okay. I'll talk about Father-- Father Christmas. 396 00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,248 That's what they call Santa Claus in England. 397 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,484 They drive on the wrong side of the road there. Now that's crazy. 398 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:07,554 People are always saying how small England is, 399 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,457 but you couldn't fit it all in here. Not by a long shot. 400 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,492 You know what? I'm cured. 401 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:15,728 Marge, get back here and tell me about your father. 402 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,297 What did he do for a living? 403 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,965 Mmm. Okay. 404 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:22,502 Okay. Okay, but you're going to make a big deal out of this. 405 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,271 He was a pilot. 406 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,938 A pilot?! 407 00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,474 This is a big deal. 408 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:28,841 You see? 409 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:32,412 This may not be the best time to bring this up 410 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,314 but your last check bounced. 411 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,316 Wait. I'm remembering something. 412 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:38,418 Yes Marge, there's still the matter of... 413 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,220 I was a little girl. 414 00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:45,458 Mmm. Good-bye, Margie. 415 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,794 Be a good girl now. 416 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,297 Why does Daddy have to leave? 417 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,464 Because he's a pilot. 418 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:54,167 He flies all over the world. 419 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:56,203 I want to see Daddy fly. 420 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:57,170 Margie! 421 00:18:57,204 --> 00:18:58,538 No, come back! 422 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,543 Daddy? Daddy, where are you, da..? 423 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:06,179 So who wants a pre-flight cookie? 424 00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:07,814 Fig Newtons? Hydrox? 425 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,182 Daddy? 426 00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:10,850 Ah! 427 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,286 Don't look at me! 428 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,889 Don't look at me! 429 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,091 ( crying ) 430 00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,396 My father was a stewardess. 431 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,797 Marge, 432 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:27,334 there's nothing to be ashamed of here. 433 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,336 Today, male flight attendants-- 434 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,871 or stewards-- are common. 435 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:32,972 They are? 436 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,307 Yes. 437 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,809 Thanks to trailblazers like your father. 438 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,511 You might say he was a pioneer. 439 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:42,415 Yeah. You might even say he was an American hero. 440 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:44,251 Let's not go nuts. 441 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,652 The important thing 442 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:49,222 is that we've pinpointed the precise moment 443 00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:52,158 when you developed your fear of flying. 444 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:55,194 Wait. Some other stuff's coming back to me. 445 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:58,231 Open wide. 446 00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,866 Here comes 447 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,434 the airplane. 448 00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,536 ( imitating engine ) 449 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:04,637 ( screaming ) 450 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,743 ( screaming ) 451 00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,379 This is 452 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:15,448 what a cornfield looks like, honey. 453 00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:16,883 Hmm. 454 00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:20,453 ( screaming ) 455 00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:22,589 You think those things could also have contributed 456 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,391 to my fear of flying? 457 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,225 Yes yes, it's all a rich tapestry. 458 00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:27,627 Well, thank you, Doctor. 459 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,296 You've changed my life. 460 00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:31,197 You know Marge, we've really just begun to scratch the surface. 461 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:35,034 There's still the far more serious problem of your husband. 462 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,304 That's okay, you don't have to make her into some kind of superwoman. 463 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,472 She can get on the plane. That's plenty. 464 00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:40,640 Thank you, Doctor. 465 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:43,943 Whenever the wind whistles through the leaves 466 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:47,280 I'll think Lowenstein, Lowenstein. 467 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:48,715 My name is Zweig. 468 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,750 ( whispering): Lowenstein... 469 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,160 Don't worry about a thing, honey. 470 00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:04,130 I'm going to help you through this. 471 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:05,765 ( engine whirring ) 472 00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:07,500 Those are all normal noises. 473 00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:08,635 ( clunk ) 474 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,903 Luggage compartment closing.. 475 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,505 cross-checking. 476 00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:14,974 Just sit back and relax. 477 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:21,748 Homer: That's just the engine powering up. 478 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,351 That's just the engine struggling. 479 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:30,823 That's just a carp swimming around your ankles. 480 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:32,359 ( Marge growls ) 481 00:22:25,545 --> 00:22:26,579 Shh!