1
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:10,244
( bell ringing )

2
00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:15,383
D-OHH!

3
00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:16,684
( screams )

4
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,435
AND NOW, TO TOP OFF

5
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:37,538
OUR MOST PROPANE EXPLOSION-FREE
SCIENCE WEEK EVER

6
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:41,008
OUR GRAND FINALE, THE LAUNCHING
OF A WEATHER BALLOON.

7
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:41,875
( cheering )

8
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,244
GO, WEATHER BALLOON!

9
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,513
HURRAH FOR SCIENCE! WHOO!

10
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,449
HURRAH FOR SCIENCE? WHOO?

11
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,218
WELL, I CAN'T SAY
I APPROVE OF THE WHOO

12
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,220
BUT THE HURRAH
WAS QUITE HEARTENING.

13
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,621
RELEASE THE BALLOON.

14
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,957
Bart:
ALL RIGHT! WHOO!

15
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,399
( kids laughing )

16
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:13,807
NO!!

17
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,444
( grunting )

18
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,579
I DON'T THINK
I REALLY CAPTURED THE EYES.

19
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,248
BART, IF YOU HAVE
A FAILING

20
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,616
IT'S THAT YOU'RE
ALWAYS DEMANDING PERFECTION.

21
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,385
IF YOU HAVE A FAILING.

22
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,587
WHOEVER BRINGS DOWN THAT BALLOON
DOESN'T HAVE

23
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:27,455
TO LEARN FRACTIONS!

24
00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,423
( cheering )

25
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:32,493
( kids grunting )

26
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:33,627
CAREFUL, CHILDREN.

27
00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:34,495
THAT'S MY CAR.

28
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,468
DESTROY THAT BALLOON.

29
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:41,535
AYE.

30
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,473
TANGO 14, WE'RE BEING FIRED AT.

31
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,807
I'M GETTING AN EXACT I.D.

32
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,108
ON THE BOGEY NOW.

33
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:51,845
IRAQIS AGAIN.

34
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,481
LAUNCHING SIDEWINDER MISSILE.

35
00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:58,186
MISSED HIM.

36
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,454
LAUNCHING SECOND
SIDEWINDER MISSILE.

37
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,194
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS

38
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:07,995
WHEN YOU CUT MONEY
OUT OF THE MILITARY

39
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,297
AND PUT IT
INTO HEALTH CARE!

40
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,531
IT'S A GOOD PROGRAM!

41
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,766
JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE.
THAT'S ALL I ASK!

42
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,869
( both yelling )

43
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:18,071
( grunting )

44
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,542
IT WON'T COME DOWN FOR MONTHS.

45
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,876
CURSE THE MAN
WHO INVENTED HELIUM.

46
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:26,380
CURSE
PIERRE-JULES-CESAR JANSSEN.

47
00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:28,516
NOW TO FIND OUT WHO DID THIS.

48
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,484
BART, EMPTY YOUR POCKETS.

49
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,052
EMPTY MY POCKETS, YOU SAY?

50
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,488
WELL, CERTAINLY, BUT I FAIL

51
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,356
TO SEE HOW...

52
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:38,125
BLUEPRINTS OF THE DUMMY,

53
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,628
NOTARIZED PHOTOS
OF YOU MAKING THE DUMMY,

54
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:44,365
AND AN ALTERNATE WORDING
FOR THE BANNER-- BUTTZILLA.

55
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:46,133
RACE YOU TO UTAH,
MILHOUSE.

56
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,301
OKAY.

57
00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:48,236
( grunting )

58
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,538
I'M GOING TO PUNISH YOU
FOR THIS, BART

59
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:53,307
AND IT WON'T JUST BE
A SIMPLE CANING THIS TIME.

60
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,509
BECAUSE YOU HAVE
IMPEDED SCIENCE

61
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:58,479
YOU MUST NOW AID SCIENCE.

62
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,649
YES. STARTING TOMORROW,
YOU WILL ASSIST ME

63
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,385
WITH MY AMATEUR ASTRONOMY,
TAKING DOWN COORDINATES

64
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,019
CARRYING EQUIPMENT,
AND SO FORTH.

65
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,388
4:30 IN THE MORNING.

66
00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:08,856
THERE'S A 4:30
IN THE MORNING NOW?

67
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,595
Man on radio:
Top of the hour,
time for the morning news.

68
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,230
But of course,
there is no news yet.

69
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:19,733
Everyone's still asleep
in their comfy, comfy beds.

70
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:20,701
Good night, everybody.

71
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:21,969
( groaning )

72
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,207
MOM, WILL YOU
MAKE ME BREAKFAST?

73
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:32,513
THERE'S A STUFFED PEPPER IN
THE TRASH FROM LAST NIGHT.

74
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,282
JUST RINSE IT GOOD.

75
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,516
Kid:
Come home, Lassie!

76
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,517
Here, boy!

77
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,618
Come on, girl!

78
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,489
Attaboy!

79
00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:52,900
IT'S STILL DARK.

80
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,302
BETTER USE THE GENERATOR.

81
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:58,272
( grunting )

82
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:11,251
AH, THERE'S NOTHING
MORE EXCITING THAN SCIENCE.

83
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:13,287
YOU GET ALL THE FUN
OF SITTING STILL,

84
00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:15,423
BEING QUIET,
WRITING DOWN NUMBERS,

85
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:16,724
PAYING ATTENTION.

86
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,626
SCIENCE HAS IT ALL.

87
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,561
IS THAT THE TELESCOPE WE'RE
GONNA BE LOOKING THROUGH?

88
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,730
YES, BUT YOU WON'T
BE LOOKING THROUGH IT.

89
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,231
I FORBID IT.

90
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,167
BUT YOU DON'T NEED A TELESCOPE
TO ENJOY ASTRONOMY, BART.

91
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,937
THERE ARE ALL THE CONSTELLATIONS
YOU'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT.

92
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:33,641
THERE'S ORION, THE SWAN,
THE CHARIOT RACE.

93
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,576
WHY DON'T THEY LOOK ANYTHING
LIKE THEIR NAMES?

94
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,678
WELL, YOU DO HAVE
TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION.

95
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,648
LOOK, THERE'S
THE THREE WISE MEN.

96
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,182
WHO NAMES THESE THINGS,
ANYWAY?

97
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,417
WHOEVER DISCOVERS THEM.

98
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,353
I'VE BEEN HOPING
I COULD FIND SOMETHING

99
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,687
THAT WOULD BE NAMED
AFTER ME.

100
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,756
AND YOU'VE NEVER
FOUND ANYTHING?

101
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:51,525
ONCE, BUT BY THE TIME
I GOT TO A PHONE

102
00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:52,993
MY DISCOVERY
HAD ALREADY BEEN REPORTED

103
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,096
BY PRINCIPAL KAHOUTEK.

104
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,198
I GOT BACK AT HIM THOUGH.

105
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,668
HIM AND THAT LITTLE BOY OF HIS.

106
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,135
ANYWAY, THAT'S WHY
I ALWAYS KEEP

107
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,371
A CELLULAR PHONE
NEXT TO ME.

108
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,038
NOW, THIS MORNING,
WE'RE GONNA BE MAPPING

109
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:07,441
A SMALL SQUARE OF SKY
THAT'S THOUGHT TO BE EMPTY.

110
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:08,676
IT'S MY HOPE THAT IT'S NOT.

111
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:11,178
SO, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO EXACTLY?

112
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,781
JUST WRITE DOWN MY FINDINGS
AS I GIVE THEM TO YOU.

113
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,016
SIX HOURS,
19 MINUTES RIGHT ASCENSION

114
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:19,787
14 DEGREES,
22 MINUTES DECLINATION...

115
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:20,654
NO SIGHTING.

116
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:21,855
MM-HMM.

117
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,057
SIX HOURS, 19 MINUTES,
RIGHT ASCENSION

118
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:28,061
14 DEGREES,
23 MINUTES DECLINATION...

119
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:29,129
NO SIGHTING.

120
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,330
MM-HMM.

121
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,866
SIX HOURS, 19 MINUTES
RIGHT ASCENSION

122
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,903
14 DEGREES,
58 MINUTES DECLINATION...

123
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:38,806
NO SIGHTING.

124
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:39,740
DID YOU GET THAT ONE, BART?

125
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:40,708
HELL, NO.

126
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:41,809
GOOD.

127
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,777
MY STARS!
GIVE ME THE PHONE QUICK!

128
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:50,884
CHECK OUT 6-19-14-59.

129
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,527
NO. NO, THERE'S NO NEED
FOR THAT.

130
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,596
IT'S ALREADY NAMED AFTER ME.

131
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:03,997
IT'S GETTING PRETTY CLOSE
TO THE GROUND.

132
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:04,998
MAYBE I CAN CATCH IT.

133
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,401
DON'T TOUCH
THE TELESCOPE, BART.

134
00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:08,936
EVEN A SLIGHT CHANGE
IN ELEVATION

135
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,738
CAN DESTROY A
WHOLE MORNING'S WORK.

136
00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,846
WHOO! ALL HANDS ON DECK!

137
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,048
PIRATES OFF THE PORT BOW!

138
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:21,915
HEY.

139
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,956
( beeping )

140
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,391
OBSERVATORY?
THIS IS BART SIMPSON.

141
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:34,361
I SEE SOMETHING IN THE SKY
AT 4-12-8

142
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,729
AND THE LAST NUMBER IS SEVEN.

143
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,769
( grunting )

144
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,772
AH, GOT YOU,
MY RUMPY DOPPELGANGER.

145
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,375
I'VE GOT IT.

146
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,743
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

147
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:50,778
GIVE ME THAT PHONE.

148
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,780
Woman:
Congratulations, Bart.

149
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,381
You've just discovered a comet.

150
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,451
NO!!

151
00:06:57,485 --> 00:07:01,822
NO!!

152
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:07,360
NO!!

153
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,603
( eating loudly )

154
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,337
AND THEN I SPED AWAY

155
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,473
WITHOUT ANYONE SEEING
MY LICENSE PLATE.

156
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,341
SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD
A GOOD DAY TODAY, DAD.

157
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:24,177
YEAH, EXCEPT I FORGOT
TO GO TO WORK.

158
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:27,014
WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY, BART?

159
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,249
WHAT DIDN'T I DO?

160
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,318
"BOY DISCOVERS COMET."

161
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,285
WHAT?

162
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:33,420
"A YOUNG SPRINGFIELDIANITE

163
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,454
"HAS DISCOVERED A NEW COMET

164
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,590
TO BE KNOWN AS
THE BART SIMPSON COMET."

165
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:39,960
OH, HONEY,
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

166
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,295
BUT THEN, YOU'VE ALWAYS
BEEN PROUD OF ME.

167
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,397
( doubtfully ):
YES.

168
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,339
WON'T YOU
JOIN US, BART?

169
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,477
Bart:
UH...

170
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:58,311
I GUESS SO.

171
00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,446
AS THE FIRST STUDENT

172
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,950
AT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY
TO DISCOVER A COMET,

173
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,718
WE'RE VERY PROUD
TO MAKE YOU A MEMBER

174
00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:07,621
OF OUR VERY SELECT GROUP.

175
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:10,223
WELCOME TO SUPER FRIENDS.

176
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:11,124
HUH?

177
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,193
All:
WELCOME, SUPER FRIEND.

178
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:17,631
I AM CALLED HAM
SINCE I ENJOY HAM RADIO.

179
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:18,999
THIS IS E-MAIL,

180
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,300
COSINE,

181
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,802
REPORT CARD,

182
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,003
DATABASE,

183
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,071
AND LISA.

184
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,940
YOUR NICKNAME
WILL BE COSMOS.

185
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:30,811
WELL, I'M DONE EATING.
GOOD-BYE.

186
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,312
All:
GOOD-BYE, COSMOS.

187
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,914
BYE-BYE.

188
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,249
PERHAPS SOME NIGHT
YOU COULD SHOW
US YOUR COMET.

189
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:37,417
THERE IT IS RIGHT THERE.

190
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,519
I MAKE IT A POINT
NEVER TO TURN MY HEAD

191
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:41,321
UNLESS I EXPECT
TO SEE SOMETHING, BART.

192
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,257
NATURALLY, WE CAN'T SEE YOUR
COMET IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

193
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,359
AND WITHO A TELESCOPE.

194
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,428
BUT YOU DON'T NEED
A STUPID TELESCOPE.

195
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,163
IT'S RIGHT THERE.

196
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,231
( all gasping )

197
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,532
OH, NO, NO, NO.

198
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,367
THIS ISN'T RIGHT AT ALL.

199
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:57,504
IT MUST BE COMING TOWARD US
AT A FANTASTIC SPEED.

200
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,438
HUH?

201
00:08:58,471 --> 00:08:59,406
DON'T YOU REALIZE

202
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:00,407
WHAT'S HAPPENING, BART?

203
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,341
YOUR COMET IS GONNA
COLLIDE

204
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,409
WITH THE EARTH

205
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,177
AND EVERY LIVING THING
IN ITS PATH WILL BE KILLED.

206
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,713
I KNEW YOU'D TRY
TO FIND SOMETHING WRONG

207
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,180
WITH MY COMET, LISA.

208
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,949
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN
PETTY AND SMALL,

209
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,383
RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING.

210
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,519
WE MUST ALERT
THE PROPER AUTHORITIES.

211
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,588
TO THE OBSERVATORY!

212
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:21,294
All:
WE ARE THE SUPER FRIENDS!

213
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,663
HEY, SHUT UP.

214
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,236
DEAR GOD!

215
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,804
WARREN, WE'VE
TALKED ABOUT YOU

216
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,640
HOGGING THE EYEPIECE.

217
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,643
( air raid siren sounding )

218
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,310
( all gasping )

219
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:40,247
SOUNDS LIKE
THE DOOMSDAY WHISTLE.

220
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,884
AIN'T BEEN BLOWN
FOR NIGH ON TO THREE YEARS.

221
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,619
TSK, TSK, TSK.

222
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:46,787
TROUBLE A-BREWING.

223
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,789
FELLOW CITIZENS,
WHEN I LEARNED

224
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,991
ABOUT THE IMPENDING CRISIS

225
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:54,828
I CAUGHT THE VERY NEXT PLANE
TO SPRINGFELD... FIELD.

226
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,400
FIRST OF ALL,
YES, THERE IS A COMET IN THE SKY

227
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,636
AND, YES, IT IS GOING
TO HIT SPRINGFIELD.

228
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,674
YOU DON'T NEED TO APPLAUD THAT.

229
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:09,677
NOW, HERE'S WHAT WE THINK
THE IMPACT MIGHT LOOK LIKE.

230
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:10,811
SHOW THEM, JERRY.

231
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,219
OH, DEAR GOD, NO!

232
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,623
FORTUNATELY,
WE HAVE A PLAN.

233
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,358
PROFESSOR FRINK.

234
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,694
GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND...

235
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:27,661
QUIT STALLING!

236
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:28,829
WHAT'S THE PLAN?!

237
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,998
JUST TAKE YOUR SEAT.
JUST TAKE YOUR SEAT.

238
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:34,467
NOW, WORKING WITH FORMER
CARTER ADMINISTRATION OFFICIALS

239
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,770
AND MILITARY MEN WHO WERE FORCED
INTO EARLY RETIREMENT

240
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:39,372
FOR VARIOUS REASONS
WHICH WE WON'T GO INTO HERE,

241
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:42,776
WE HAVE PLANNED THIS DEFENSE
FOR THE CITY.

242
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:45,545
AS THE COMET HURTLES
TOWARD THE CITY

243
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:50,617
OUR ROCKET WILL INTERCEPT IT
AND BLOW IT TO SMITHEREENS.

244
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,686
OH, DEAR GOD, NO!

245
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,488
AND THAT WILL BE THE END
OF OUR MR. COMET.

246
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,624
( cheering )

247
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,760
( people laughing )

248
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:04,197
( taunting laughter )

249
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,703
WILL YOU ALL
STOP WORRYING

250
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:10,838
ABOUT THAT
STUPID COMET?

251
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,706
IT'S GOING
TO BE DESTROYED.

252
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:14,541
DIDN'T YOU HEAR
WHAT THE GUY
IN THE BUILDING SAID?

253
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:15,709
BUT DAD, DON'T
YOU THINK..?

254
00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:16,810
AH, LISA.

255
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,212
THE WHOLE REASON WE
HAVE ELECTED OFFICIALS

256
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,815
IS SO WE DON'T HAVE
TO THINK ALL THE TIME.

257
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:24,985
JUST LIKE THAT RAIN FOREST
SCARE A FEW YEARS BACK.

258
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,054
OUR OFFICIALS SAW
THERE WAS A PROBLEM

259
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,521
AND THEY FIXED IT,
DIDN'T THEY?

260
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:29,689
NO, DAD,
I DON'T THINK...

261
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:31,524
THERE'S THAT
WORD AGAIN.

262
00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,383
HOMER, WHAT IF THIS
DOESN'T WORK?

263
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,751
WELL, THEN, I HAVE
A BACKUP PLAN.

264
00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:59,619
SEE, WHILE
THE UNPREPARED

265
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,088
ARE STILL
SITTING AROUND

266
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:02,255
TWIDDLING
THEIR THUMBS

267
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:03,256
AND GOING...

268
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,625
( humming )

269
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,698
DAD, THE PLAN!

270
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,366
I'M GETTING TO THAT.

271
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,968
SO, ANYWAY, THEY'RE GOING...

272
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:17,304
( humming )

273
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,742
DAD!

274
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:23,777
SO, ANYWAY, WE
GET IN OUR CAR

275
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:25,578
AND TAKE THE BRIDGE
OUT OF TOWN,

276
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,915
WHILE ALL THE WHILE,
THEY'RE STILL GOING...

277
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:32,085
( humming )

278
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,287
DAD, THEY'RE FIRING
THE ROCKET!

279
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,723
UH!

280
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,225
ALL RIGHT!

281
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,860
( people cheering )

282
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,772
( all gasping )

283
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,441
IT BLEW UP
THE BRIDGE!

284
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:55,809
WE'RE DOOMED!

285
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,244
IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS

286
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,812
I WISH I WERE
A RELIGIOUS MAN.

287
00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:01,448
IT'S ALL OVER, PEOPLE!

288
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,483
WE DON'T HAVE
A PRAYER!

289
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,118
( wailing )

290
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,130
And like Icarus

291
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,698
the rocket foolishly soared

292
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:22,369
TOO HIGH AND LOST CONTROL
OF ITS SERVO-GUIDANCE MECHANISM

293
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:26,139
LEAVING US WITH SOME...
SIX HOURS TO LIVE.

294
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,475
SO, LET'S GO LIVE NOW

295
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:31,644
TO THE CHARRED REMAINS
OF THE ONLY BRIDGE OUT OF TOWN

296
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:34,381
WITH ARNIE PIE
AND ARNIE IN THE SKY.

297
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,849
Arnie:
With the bridge gone
and the airport

298
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:37,985
unfortunately on the other
side of the bridge,

299
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,719
a number of citizens
are attempting

300
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,855
to jump the gorge
with their cars.

301
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:44,524
IT'S A SILENT TESTAMENT
TO THE "NEVER GIVE UP

302
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:47,794
AND NEVER THINK THINGS OUT"
SPIRIT OF OUR CITIZENS.

303
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,662
WITH OUR UTTER ANNIHILATION
IMMINENT

304
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,664
OUR FEDERAL GOVERNMENT
HAS SNAPPED INTO ACTION.

305
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,300
WE GO LIVE NOW, VIA SATELLITE,

306
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,102
TO THE FLOOR OF THE
UNITED STATES CONGRESS.

307
00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:01,641
THEN IT IS UNANIMOUS, WE ARE
GOING TO APPROVE THE BILL

308
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,877
TO EVACUATE THE TOWN
OF SPRINGFIELD

309
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,879
IN THE GREAT STATE OF...

310
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:07,247
Man 2:
WAIT A SECOND, I WANT
TO TACK ON A RIDER

311
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,581
TO THAT BILL.

312
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,985
$30 MILLION OF TAXPAYER MONEY
TO SUPPORT THE PERVERTED ARTS.

313
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:16,423
ALL IN FAVOR OF THE AMENDED
SPRINGFIELD/PERVERT BILL?

314
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,858
( loud boos )

315
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:19,826
BILL DEFEATED.

316
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,162
I'VE SAID IT BEFORE,
AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN:

317
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,998
DEMOCRACY SIMPLY DOESN'T WORK.

318
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,599
NOW, OVER THE YEARS

319
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,035
A NEWSMAN LEARNS
A NUMBER OF THINGS

320
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:31,738
THAT FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER,
HE JUST CANNOT REPORT.

321
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:32,772
DOESN'T SEEM TO MATTER NOW

322
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,742
SO THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE
ARE GAY:

323
00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:38,245
TURN IT OFF.

324
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,879
JUST A SECOND.

325
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:45,885
WHAT'S EVERYONE
SO WORKED UP ABOUT?

326
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,588
SO THERE'S A COMET.
BIG DEAL.

327
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,723
IT WILL BURN UP IN OUR
ATMOSPHERE, AND WHAT'S EVER LEFT

328
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,792
WILL BE NO BIGGER
THAN A CHIHUAHUA'S HEAD.

329
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,594
WOW, DAD, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

330
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,196
OF COURSE I'M RIGHT.

331
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,530
IF I'M NOT, MAY WE ALL BE

332
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,366
HORRIBLY CRUSHED
FROM ABOVE SOMEHOW.

333
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,701
( all groaning )

334
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,803
OKAY, IF YOU'RE
THAT WORRIED ABOUT IT

335
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,439
LET'S GO DOWN
TO THE BOMB SHELTER.

336
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:07,941
WE HAVE A BOMB SHELTER?

337
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,978
HOMER SIMPSON TAKES
CARE OF HIS FAMILY.

338
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,215
FLANDERS, OPEN UP!

339
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,317
HI-DEE-HO-A-ROONEY,
NEIGHBOR.

340
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,551
WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?

341
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,452
GET OUT OF THERE.

342
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,121
MY FAMILY NEEDS TO USE
YOUR BOMB SHELTER.

343
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,222
HOMER!

344
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,157
I KIND OF FIGURED
THIS MIGHT HAPPEN.

345
00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:26,593
SO I BUILT THE SHELTER
BIG ENOUGH FOR BOTH
OUR FAMILIES.

346
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:27,560
NO DEAL. OUT.

347
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,129
GET IN THE SHELTER, HOMER.

348
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,656
ONE MORE HOUR.

349
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:57,924
AN HOUR?

350
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,859
I CAN'T WAIT
ANOTHER HOUR.

351
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,494
WHAT'S KEEPING
THAT STUPID COMET?

352
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:02,962
( knock on door )

353
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,064
THERE IT IS.

354
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:10,003
Flanders:
WELL, HOWDELY-DOODELY,
NEIGHBORS.

355
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:12,839
SHOULDN'T YOU BE IN
YOUR SHELTERINIS BY NOW?

356
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,042
WE HAVEN'T GOT
SHELTERINIS.

357
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,143
WE WANT IN YOURS.

358
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,111
OH, WELL, SORRY.

359
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,212
THE SHELTER'S
KIND OF FULL.

360
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,381
REALLY? OH.

361
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,350
WELL, WE'LL JUST GO
OFF SOMEPLACE
AND DIE THEN.

362
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,251
THANKS.

363
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,155
WAIT!

364
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,523
YOU KNOW, I MAY REGRET THIS
WHEN OUR AIR RUNS OUT

365
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:33,160
AND WE CAN'T WHISTLE
OR STAY ALIVE, BUT...

366
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,961
OH, WHAT THE HEY.

367
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,030
( all cheer )

368
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,968
I CAN'T... GET THE...

369
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,203
( groaning )

370
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,737
I CAN'T GET THE DOOR CLOSED.

371
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,639
SOMEBODY'S GOING
TO HAVE TO GET OUT.

372
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,376
Lisa:
I'D GET OUT,
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM.

373
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,811
HEY, SOMEBODY'S TOUCHING ME.

374
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:52,845
I AM.

375
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:53,813
OH, OKAY.

376
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,683
OKAY, LET'S FIGURE OUT
WHO SHOULD STAY.

377
00:16:56,716 --> 00:17:00,653
LET'S SEE. THE WORLD
OF THE FUTURE
WILL NEED LAUGHTER,

378
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,888
SO I'M IN.

379
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,224
AND THEY'LL NEED SOMEBODY
TO DISPENSE DRINKS

380
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,558
I.E., ME.

381
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:08,061
AND SOMEONE WILL HAVE
TO RUN THE POWER.

382
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:09,362
YOU CAN DO
THAT, HOMER.

383
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,398
UH... YEAH.

384
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,200
I CAN DO THAT.

385
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,238
OKAY, LET'S START AGAIN.

386
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,707
WE'LL NEED LAUGHTER,
RELIGIOUS ENLIGHTENMENT,

387
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,909
GOSSIP... THAT'S MRS. LOVEJOY.

388
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:26,113
WAIT A MINUTE, WE ALL KNOW
THE ONE THING WE WON'T
NEED IN THE FUTURE--

389
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,947
LEFT-HANDED STORES.

390
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:29,116
THAT'S YOU,
FLANDERS.

391
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:32,452
( whispering ):
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

392
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,954
( aloud ):
FLANDERS IS THE ONLY
USELESS PERSON HERE.

393
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:38,024
IF ANYONE DIES,
IT SHOULD BE HIM.

394
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:38,891
( whispering ):
I'M SORRY.

395
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,927
PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

396
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,362
( aloud ):
SO LET'S KICK FLANDERS OUT.

397
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,296
( whispering ):
SORRY.

398
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,066
WELL, SIR, SOUNDS FAIR.

399
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:47,967
TOODLE-OO, EVERYBODY.

400
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,103
I'LL SCREAM WHEN
THE COMET GETS HERE.

401
00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:51,604
OH, I'M COMING
WITH YOU, NEDDY.

402
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:52,805
NO, SWEETHEART.

403
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:55,942
YOU... YOU STAY
HERE BECAUSE...

404
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:57,977
OKAY.

405
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,546
I MIGHT GO MAD WITH FEAR
OUT THERE

406
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,582
SO, TODD, I WANT YOU
TO SHOOT DADDY

407
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:05,084
IF HE TRIES TO GET BACK IN.

408
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,953
OKAY, DAD.

409
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,155
OKAY.

410
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:12,625
* QUE SERA, SERA *

411
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:18,631
* WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE

412
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:23,336
* THE FUTURE'S NOT OURS
TO SEE... *

413
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,674
HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.

414
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:30,009
WE CAN PLAY A GAME
TO PASS THE TIME.

415
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:32,645
I'LL MAKE THE SOUND
OF A BARNYARD ANIMAL

416
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:35,081
AND YOU ALL TRY
TO GUESS WHAT IT IS.

417
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,316
( clearing throat )

418
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:40,086
( guttural braying )

419
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:40,987
IT'S A PIG.

420
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,121
IT'S A COW, MAN.

421
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:42,989
IT'S A PONY.

422
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,457
NO, IT'S A GOAT.

423
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,025
YOU KNOW,
ONE OF THEM LADY GOATS.

424
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:48,628
THERE ARE NO LADY GOATS.
A LADY GOAT IS A SHEEP.

425
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:49,862
I BELIEVE
SHE'S RIGHT.

426
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,097
YOU'RE CRAZY.

427
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:51,998
WHAT'S IT TO YOU?

428
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:53,166
WHAT'S IT TO ME?

429
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,634
IT'S A PONY.

430
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,703
( all arguing )

431
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,172
STOP IT! STOP IT!

432
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,308
CAN'T YOU SEE THIS
BARNYARD NOISE GUESSING GAME

433
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,776
IS TEARING US APART?

434
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:07,214
Flanders:
* QUE SERA, SERA *

435
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:10,550
* WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE...

436
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,520
SAY, MOE, WAS IT A DUCK?

437
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:15,988
( all arguing again )

438
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:20,560
NO, NO! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

439
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,562
STOP IT,
STOP IT!

440
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,197
I CAN'T TAKE THIS
ANYMORE.

441
00:19:24,231 --> 00:19:27,700
I CAN'T LET THAT BRAVE MAN
OUT THERE DIE ALONE.

442
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:31,170
I'M SURPRISED AND DISGUSTED
BY ALL OF YOU.

443
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:33,005
ESPECIALLY HIS CHILDREN.

444
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,541
I'M GOING OUT THERE.

445
00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,877
AND IT WAS
A BABY OX.

446
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,145
HE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW.

447
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,012
Skinner:
ABOUT THE OX?

448
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,881
ABOUT EVERYTHING, DAMN IT!

449
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:42,815
HEY, HOMER, WAIT UP.

450
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:45,051
I WANT TO DIE TOO.

451
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:46,319
IF YOU ARE GOING,
I AM GOING.

452
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,220
ME TOO.

453
00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:49,756
( all agreeing to go )

454
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:58,365
* WHEN I WAS JUST
A LITTLE GIRL *

455
00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,100
* I ASKED MY MOTHER

456
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:04,671
* WHAT WILL I BE?

457
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:10,209
* WILL I BE PRETTY,
WILL I BE RICH? *

458
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:15,348
* HERE'S WHAT SHE SAID TO ME

459
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:19,686
All:
* QUE SERA, SERA *

460
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,422
* WHATEVER WILL BE

461
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,957
* WILL BE

462
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:30,062
* THE FUTURE'S NOT OURS TO SEE

463
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:32,098
* QUE SERA... *

464
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,266
RUN!

465
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:40,640
LOOK!

466
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,174
IT'S BREAKING UP!

467
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:56,589
COOL.

468
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,224
WE'RE SAVED.

469
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,760
( all cheering )

470
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,295
SURE MAKES YOU
APPRECIATE

471
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,297
THE PRECIOUSNESS
OF LIFE.

472
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,301
LET'S GO BURN DOWN
THE OBSERVATORY

473
00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:09,769
SO THIS'LL
NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

474
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:12,505
( all agreeing )

475
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:13,440
I CAN'T BELIEVE

476
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:15,141
THAT EXTRA-THICK
LAYER OF POLLUTION

477
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:18,277
THAT I'VE ACTUALLY PICKETED
AGAINST IS WHAT BURNED UP
THE COMET.

478
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:19,912
WHAT'S REALLY AMAZING

479
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:24,484
IS THAT THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT DAD SAID WOULD HAPPEN.

480
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:25,318
YEAH.

481
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:27,119
DAD WAS RIGHT.

482
00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:28,020
I KNOW, KIDS.

483
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:29,922
I'M SCARED TOO.

484
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:31,458
( all shuddering )

485
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:27,179
SHH.