1 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,279 ( bell ringing ) 2 00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:15,383 D-ohh! 3 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:16,684 ( screams ) 4 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:39,207 Ah... this place is going to smell classy all week. 5 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,675 To Homer-- the Wall Street genius! 6 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,611 Yay! Yeah! All right. 7 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,116 Ah, ooh, ooh, ooh! 8 00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:52,686 Hey, Homer, how come you got 9 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,788 money to burn, or singe anyway? 10 00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:56,557 Yeah Homer, what's your secret investment? 11 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,226 Take a guess. 12 00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,560 Uh, pumpkins? 13 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,562 Yeah, that's right, Barney. 14 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,364 This year, I invested in pumpkins. 15 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,600 They've been going up the whole month of October 16 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:07,801 and I got a feeling 17 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,571 they're going to peak right around January 18 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,806 and, bang! That's when I'll cash in. 19 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,243 To Homer, and to Sergeant Pepper 20 00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:18,446 who is growing out of the middle of your back. 21 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:21,048 Uh, Barn, you got to unwrap the plastic 22 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,450 before you smoke these. 23 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:23,784 To Homer. Yeah! 24 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:26,720 Man: Way to go, Homer! 25 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:31,425 Homer, you knuckle-beak, I told you a hundred times 26 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:32,660 you got to sell your pumpkin futures 27 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:34,395 before Halloween, before. 28 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,831 Alright, let's not panic. I'll make the money back by selling one of my livers. 29 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,433 I can get by with one. 30 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,603 Oh, how am I going to tell Marge we're broke? 31 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,505 I need a miracle. 32 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,274 My house is on fire! 33 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,676 Whoo-hoo! Insurance to the rescue! 34 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:52,780 ( groans ) 35 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,515 Both: Hello, Homer. 36 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:58,419 Marge, we had a deal. 37 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,188 Your sisters don't come here after 6:00 38 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,689 and I stop eating your lipstick. 39 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,458 This is a special occasion. 40 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,594 Patty and Selma just got promoted at the D.M.V. 41 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,695 Yeah, Homer. 42 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:11,465 Let your wife have a glimpse of success for once. 43 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,133 All right. 44 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,435 That's the last straw. 45 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:18,038 Time to take out the trash, but first 46 00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:20,274 I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 47 00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:21,342 ( both grunt ) 48 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,618 I'm sorry. 49 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,353 Homer doesn't mean to be rude. 50 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,522 He's just a very complicated man. 51 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:35,523 Wrong! 52 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,525 When are you going to wake up 53 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:38,859 and smell your husband, Marge? 54 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,195 Granted, you got some kids out of him, 55 00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:42,730 but when the seeds have been planted, 56 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,198 you throw away the envelope. 57 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:45,733 I wish you wouldn't put Homer down like that. 58 00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:49,537 He may not be a big success like you, but I can always count on him 59 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,339 to provide for the family. 60 00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:54,875 Oh, sweet, trusting Marge, I can't let you down. 61 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:57,445 I'll get some money somehow. 62 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,081 Hello. Vegas? 63 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,850 Give me a hundred bucks on red. 64 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:06,019 D-ohh! All right, I'll send you a check. 65 00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:10,691 If only I could think of an invention. 66 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,560 Something that would really make money. 67 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:15,729 Must concentrate and work harder than I've ever worked... 68 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:17,798 ( snoring ) 69 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,571 Congratulations, Mr. Simpson. 70 00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:24,772 This invention of yours 71 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,608 has made us all rich, especially you. 72 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:28,942 It's simple yet ingenious 73 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,279 and it fits right in the palm of your hand. 74 00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,681 Every person in America now owns one of these 75 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:34,948 and in many cases, three or four. 76 00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,617 Could I just get a look at that? 77 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,118 Why would you need to see it? 78 00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:40,788 You're the genius who invented the product in question. 79 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,022 But, uh, could I just..? 80 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,724 Now don't worry, you'll get to see it 81 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,959 just as soon as we unveil our new ad campaign. 82 00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:48,095 Ooh! Ooh! 83 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,196 Let me see! Let me see! Out of the way! 84 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,197 Homer! 85 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,599 Homer, wake up! 86 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,934 There's still a few minutes till our usual bedtime. 87 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,235 Ooh, my invention! 88 00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:57,237 All my money problems could have... 89 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,739 Money problems? Homer, are we 90 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,974 in some sort of fiduciary trouble? 91 00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,547 Oh, Marge, my loyal wife, 92 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,649 of course not. 93 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,951 And Lisa, my little princess 94 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:15,055 and who could forget dear Rat Boy? 95 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,058 Rat boy? I resent that. ( chomping ) 96 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,159 Bart, I told you before-- 97 00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,094 stop gnawing on the drywall. 98 00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:23,163 What a day, eh, Milhouse? 99 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:25,299 The sun is out, birds are singing. 100 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,301 Bees are trying to have sex with them-- 101 00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:28,669 as is my understanding. 102 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,904 It is a gorgeously fabulous day. 103 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,640 Marvelous even. 104 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:36,577 So, uh, what's your hurry to get to school? 105 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,745 Nothing. 106 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,212 What's your hurry? 107 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,016 That's enough, Bart. 108 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,652 Fun is fun, but if we're late, 109 00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:45,786 we're going to get in trouble. 110 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,254 You're right, Milhouse. 111 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,856 Funfun. 112 00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,824 ( whistling ) 113 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,262 Skinner: Attention, students. It's time once again 114 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,130 to choose a gym class for the coming term 115 00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,199 so let's all prove how adult we can be 116 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,702 by filing to the gym in a calm and orderly manner 117 00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,637 even though it's first come, first serve, 118 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,105 and the most popular sports fill up fast. 119 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,375 ( screaming ) 120 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:10,578 Aargh, too many wee ones! 121 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,482 This gets uglier every year. 122 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,384 Any sign of Bart and Milhouse? 123 00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,318 No. And if they don't get here soon, 124 00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:20,153 it'll be T.S. for them. 125 00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,523 ( grunting ) 126 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,892 I don't feel right. 127 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:25,959 ( bell ringing ) 128 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,661 Do you hear that, Bart? 129 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:28,796 That was the tardy bell. 130 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,665 "Truant! Truant! Truant!" They'll all say. 131 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:34,034 ( screams ) Aw, who needs him? 132 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,669 I can have fun all by myself. 133 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:36,804 ( high voice ): S'all right? 134 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:37,805 ( low voice ): S'all right. 135 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:38,806 S'all right? S'all right. 136 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,340 S'all right? S'all right. 137 00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:43,343 ( snickers ) 138 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,879 Sure Homer, I can loan you all the money you need. 139 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:48,716 However, since you have no collateral, 140 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,719 I'm gonna have to break your legs in advance. 141 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,654 Gosh Moe, I use these all the time. 142 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,689 Couldn't you just bash my head in? 143 00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:56,857 Hey, hey, are you a loan shark? 144 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,726 Do you understand how finance works? 145 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,028 Now, let's do this thing. 146 00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:05,533 ( children chattering ) 147 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:08,902 Oh, no. 148 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,370 It's P.E. sign-up day. 149 00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:11,439 How could you forget? 150 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,674 They had signs posted all over the library. 151 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,743 Better sign up for something fast, man. 152 00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,678 Baseball just filled up... Ow! 153 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,713 So did tae kwon do. 154 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:20,748 Uh... 155 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,950 Oh... 156 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,051 Oh... 157 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,087 ( groans ) 158 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,789 Oh... 159 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,358 There's only one class left 160 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:35,629 but it happens to be the coolest one of all. 161 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,297 Ballet? 162 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:38,799 Dancing is for girls. 163 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,801 Well, you should have gotten here earlier. 164 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,302 Uh... 165 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:44,872 I need another extension on my mortgage payments. 166 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,708 I understand that Mr. Simpson, but according to our computer 167 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,710 your credit history is not good. 168 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:53,046 It says here that you've been pre-declined for every major credit card. 169 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,949 It also says that you once grabbed a dog by the hind legs 170 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,718 and pushed him around like a vacuum cleaner. 171 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:58,986 That was in the third grade. 172 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,888 Well it all goes on your permanent record. 173 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,891 I'm sorry, but if you don't come up with that money by tomorrow, 174 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,292 the bank is going to take your house. 175 00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:06,494 Well, good luck finding it 176 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:08,128 because I'm gonna take the numbers off tonight. 177 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,930 We'll look for the house with no numbers. 178 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,431 Then I'll take off the numbers on my neighbor's house. 179 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:15,969 So then we'll look for the house next to the house with no numbers. 180 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,572 All right, you'll get your money. 181 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,941 You're my last last chance-- 182 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,242 bottom-of-the-barrel, hail-mary 183 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,678 longshot-wish-you-would-do-it but-probably-won't 184 00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:26,780 final resort to lend me money. 185 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:27,848 We'll take care of you. 186 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,016 Yes, care. 187 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,485 ( evil laughter ) 188 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,956 ( chuckling ) 189 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,458 ( laughing harder ) 190 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:48,802 ( bellowing ) 191 00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:51,805 Cut him a check 192 00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,707 and get him the hell out of here. 193 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,815 What a wonderful dinner. What a beautiful family. 194 00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:03,884 Someone get a picture of me with my arm around this steak. 195 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,019 You're certainly in a good mood tonight, Dad. 196 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,120 Well, Lisa 197 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,456 I managed to solve a little problem today 198 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,492 and to celebrate, I'm going to tilt my chair. 199 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,863 Mmm, slanty. 200 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,998 ( growling ) 201 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,033 Patty, Selma? What are you doing here? 202 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:23,671 We thought we'd stop by unexpectedly for dinner. 203 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,907 Now bring us some extra chairs like a good blubber-in-law. 204 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,542 Time to fertilize the lawn. 205 00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:31,411 A couple of 500-pound bags should do it. 206 00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,146 Homer, be careful with my sisters' heads. 207 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,514 Their necks are brittle. 208 00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,684 That's okay, Marge. Nothing's broke-- 209 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,018 except Homer. 210 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,087 ( gasps ) What's that supposed to mean? 211 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,354 It means... 212 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:42,522 ( muffled ) 213 00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:45,559 It means these two fabulous babes 214 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,160 are staying for dinner. 215 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,862 ( both gasping ) 216 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,231 Now, there's a stink I could have done without. 217 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:54,234 This has been such a nice, peaceful dinner. 218 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,769 It calls for a celebration. 219 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:56,770 I'm going to make 220 00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,438 the most international coffee in the house-- 221 00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:01,241 Montreal Morn. 222 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,377 All right, you had your fun. 223 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:05,545 Now get lost. 224 00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:07,447 Oh, our fun hasn't begun yet. 225 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,315 Huh? 226 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:14,788 We know something you don't want Marge to know. 227 00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,724 Now we own you 228 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,059 like Siegfried owns Roy. 229 00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,393 I'm sorry. 230 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,062 All we have is Nescafe. 231 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,632 I'm very, very sorry. 232 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,966 Oh, Marge, Marge. 233 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,234 You're just in time. 234 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,903 Homer's getting ready to give us a foot rub. 235 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,271 You are? 236 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,306 No! I... uh... 237 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:37,645 I'm giving them a foot massage. 238 00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,913 At least let me have that. 239 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,082 You can start with the corns. 240 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,918 Then you can move on to bunion country. 241 00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:47,955 Okay. Steady, Bart. 242 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:51,458 Taking ballet doesn't make you any less of a man. 243 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,261 ( snickering ) 244 00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,765 ( Russian accent ): All right, girls. 245 00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:00,567 Today we learn the dance of the fairy queens. 246 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,136 You can either be a fairy or a queen. 247 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,237 It's wide open. 248 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,073 ( groaning ) 249 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,108 And what have we here? 250 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:11,111 A young man maybe who thinks he can be the next Baryshnikov? 251 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,980 I don't want to be the next anything. 252 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,282 I'm only taking this stupid class because they made me. 253 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,350 So, he has fire in the belly. 254 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:21,021 But it will take more than belly fire to be the next Baryshnikov. 255 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,323 Look, Boris, I think ballet's for sissies. 256 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,792 ( laughs ) 257 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,960 Ballet is for the strong, the fierce, the determined-- 258 00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,461 but for the sissies... 259 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:29,629 Never. 260 00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,464 Now, put on this fuchsiatard. 261 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:32,966 You, are a fairy. 262 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,501 ( groans ) 263 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,103 Quitting time. 264 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,370 Let's go Homer. On the way home, 265 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:38,772 we're stopping at Moe's for a Zima. 266 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:40,941 Maybe I'll just stay and work overtime. 267 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:44,044 My sisters-in-law are at my house again. 268 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,679 Homer, quit wallowing in self-pity. 269 00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:48,381 Pull yourself together and come get drunk with us. 270 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:55,989 Is something wrong, Mr. Simpson? 271 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,058 I don't like wearing tights, ma'am. 272 00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:00,828 But so many of your heroes wear tights. 273 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,562 Batman, for example 274 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,231 and... Magellan. 275 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,366 I don't like this cootie platoon and I never will. 276 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,300 I'm out of here 277 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,836 and I'm out of this stupid outfit. 278 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,073 ( groaning ) 279 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,241 Wait. 280 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,076 Joy of movement increasing. 281 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,278 Love of dance, impossible to resist. 282 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,082 Toes twinkling! 283 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,350 Look at me, girls. 284 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,752 I'm doing ballet! 285 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:27,087 And I... love it! 286 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,090 Hmm. Am I wrong 287 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,592 or did it just get fatter in here? 288 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,862 Request permission to slink by. 289 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,930 Permission pending. 290 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,198 First... 291 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,599 light our cigarettes. 292 00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,869 But you're already smoking cig... 293 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:44,171 ( both clearing throat ) 294 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,506 You're really pushing it. 295 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,841 Come on, Homer. 296 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:51,378 You can't spell "obsequious" without "i-o-u." 297 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,046 I'll have to trust you on that. 298 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,347 Marge was always a good speller. 299 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,083 Let's ask her. 300 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,451 No! Don't tell Marge. I'll be good, I'll be good. 301 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,091 Ah, ah, ah, ahh... 302 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:08,195 Just for that, you have to crawl around on the floor 303 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,030 like the dog you are. 304 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,198 ( stammering ) 305 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,599 Yes, ma'am. 306 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:13,600 ( Patty laughing ) 307 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:14,868 Now say 308 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:16,569 "I am Homer Simpson 309 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,071 the lowly dog" 310 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,639 in a dog's voice. 311 00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:21,441 I am rrr-omer rrr-impson. 312 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,210 Good. Jump, Homer, jump. 313 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,045 What's going on in here? 314 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,279 Rabso-rutely rothing, Rarge. 315 00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,281 What's that paper? What paper? 316 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,086 ( gasps ) 317 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,487 Homer. 318 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,156 Is this projection accurate? 319 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,892 Did you borrow money from my sisters? 320 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,894 I don't know Marge. I can't be expected to keep track 321 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:42,896 of all my wheeling's and dealings. 322 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,465 He blew all your savings on jack-o'-lanterns. 323 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,200 ( gasping ): You told! 324 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:51,905 Sorry, Marge. 325 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:52,840 ( kissing ) 326 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,441 ( angry grunt ) 327 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:57,344 I never want to see you again. You either. 328 00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:01,448 Homer. Homer, why didn't you tell me? 329 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,983 I was ashamed, Marge. 330 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:05,285 I failed you as a husband and a provider 331 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,921 At best, I was a "b+" dog. 332 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:11,158 I'll understand if you wanna sleep on the couch tonight. 333 00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:12,725 ( door slamming ) 334 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,598 How's Dad today? 335 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,601 Not too good, Lisa. 336 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,037 Frankly, he's underneath the table. 337 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,973 Homer: Nobody make me any breakfast. 338 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,208 A man so deeply in debt doesn't deserve it. 339 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,610 But I like to make you breakfast. 340 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,679 Homer: In that case, I'll just have French toast 341 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,882 with double butter and a side of bacon. 342 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:37,684 But no powdered sugar-- I don't deserve it. 343 00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,086 Maybe a little powdered sugar. 344 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,626 See that? 345 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,395 I started to do, like, a little arabesque 346 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:49,963 but then I just fully went for it 347 00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:52,699 and pulled off the demi-entrechat. 348 00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:55,502 Not that I'm into that kind of thing. 349 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,337 Bravissimo, Bart! 350 00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:00,240 Next week, class gives its first recital 351 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:03,410 and you, you will dance the male lead. 352 00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,078 Dance in front of my whole school? 353 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,147 What is it with you and ballet? 354 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,049 I know you have great conflict, Bart. 355 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,417 You love ballet, 356 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:14,421 yet you fear the boys will laugh at you. No? 357 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,256 No. I fear the girls will laugh at me. 358 00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,791 I fear the boys will beat the living snot out of me. 359 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,761 Hey Dad, what you doing? 360 00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,830 Daddy has very important work to do. 361 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,832 He's looking through the want ads 362 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,367 to find a part-time job. 363 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,769 Dad, that's a gag paper we got at the carnival. 364 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:32,272 Oh. No wonder I didn't hear about Bart being elected 365 00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,374 World's Greatest Sex Machine. 366 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,209 Aw, I'll never pay off that debt. 367 00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:37,244 Need money fast? 368 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,445 Got no experience? 369 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:40,080 Step up to elegance. 370 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:42,382 Become a limo driver at Classy Joe's. 371 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:45,552 That's it! I'll make money with a chauffeur job. 372 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:48,388 Good thing you turned on that TV, Lisa. 373 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,257 I didn't turn it on. I thought you turned it on. 374 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,725 No. Well, anyway, turn it off. 375 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,461 It i off. 376 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,569 You're gonna have to work hard to win this crowd over. 377 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,404 Most of them are here as part of detention. 378 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,373 Pretty big crowd. 379 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,475 Hm-hmm. We even bussed in troublemakers 380 00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:09,409 from other schools. 381 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:10,410 ( gulps ) 382 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,623 That spiky-haired, masked dancer is really something. 383 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:24,958 I wonder who he is. 384 00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:27,327 He's graceful, yet masculine 385 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,729 So it's okay for me to enjoy this. 386 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,599 This reminds me of the movie Fame 387 00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,802 and to a lesser extent, the TV series 388 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,138 which was also called Fame. 389 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,742 Oh, wow. I can't believe 390 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:46,346 my very first passenger is comedy legend Mel Brooks. 391 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,815 I loved that movie Young Frankenstein. 392 00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:50,917 Scared the hell out of me. 393 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,485 Um, thanks. 394 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,322 Let's do that 2,000-pound-man thing. 395 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,590 I'll be the Carl Reiner guy, and you be what's-his-face. 396 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,626 Homer, it's not that easy. 397 00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,094 It takes the genius of Carl Reiner 398 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,030 and the rhythm and timing that only he and I... 399 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,798 Sir, today every country has a national anthem. 400 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:09,336 Did they have national anthems 2,000 years ago? 401 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,272 ( Yiddish accent ): Sure. Sure we had. Of course we was caves. 402 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,641 But every cave had a national anthem. 403 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,677 I'll never forget my cave's national anthem. 404 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,279 What was that national anthem? 405 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,281 * Let 'em all go to hell 406 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,550 * except Cave 76. 407 00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:24,984 ( siren wailing ) 408 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:25,985 Vat's with..? 409 00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:29,389 What's with the siren? 410 00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,824 Evening, Simpson. You got a short in your taillight. 411 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:32,859 Started blinking when you made that turn. 412 00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:35,228 Let's see your Chauffeur's License. 413 00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:37,530 Chauffeur's License, eh? 414 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,466 Mel, buckle your borscht belt! 415 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,402 ( engine revving ) 416 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:45,004 Since you're trying to make a getaway in park 417 00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,207 I'm guessing you don't have a license. 418 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,142 Better head down to the D.M.V. 419 00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,411 These two broads will help you out. 420 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:52,679 ( shrieking repeatedly ) 421 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:56,216 Wow. Officer, this man is making me a little edgy. 422 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,884 Could you please give me a ride to the airport? 423 00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,387 Hey! Hey! You're Mel Brooks! 424 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,489 Sure. I'll give you a ride. 425 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:03,656 Thank you. 426 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,493 On the way, we can do that 2,000-dollar-man thing. 427 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,394 ( groans ) 428 00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:08,561 You be Carl Reiner 429 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,997 and I'll be Police Chief Wiggum. 430 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:14,601 Listen, why don't you play Carl Reiner and let me play Police Chief Wiggum? 431 00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:15,935 I hate Carl Reiner. 432 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:22,475 I haven't been moved like this since the Joy Luck Club. 433 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,046 ( audience oohing ) 434 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,681 Bart: They love me. I'm accepted. 435 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,350 I don't need this mask anymore. 436 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:34,254 Behold, the masked dancer is me, Bart. 437 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,255 ( all gasp ) 438 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,625 It is I who have won your acclaim. 439 00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,527 Bart does ballet! 440 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,061 He dances like girls! 441 00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:42,962 Ha, ha! 442 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,531 Go ahead and laugh 443 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,566 but I took a chance and did something I wanted to do. 444 00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:52,372 And if that makes me a sissy, well then, I guess I'm a sissy. 445 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,540 He's a sissy. 446 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,142 Let's rush him. 447 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,144 ( boys yelling ) Yeah, let's get him! 448 00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,411 Come on! 449 00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,012 After him, go! 450 00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,449 Uh-oh. 451 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:03,716 There he is! There, right there! 452 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,453 Bart, use the ballet. 453 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:10,357 Leap, leap like you've never leapt before. 454 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,396 ( crashing ) 455 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,565 ( Bart groaning ) 456 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,568 Looks like he took a pretty bad spill. 457 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,937 Well, as long as he's hurt. 458 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,141 Bart, I am so proud of you. 459 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:30,643 You've shown a sensitive side of yourself 460 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,145 that can never be erased. 461 00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:34,981 From this day forward, we are kindred spirits. 462 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,285 Why did she just leave me here 463 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,987 when I clearly need medical attention? 464 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:46,426 Stupid driving test at the stupid D.M.V. 465 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,661 Where stupid Patty and stupid Selma work. 466 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,930 Sometimes, I think God is teasing me 467 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,132 just like he teased Moses in the desert. 468 00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,134 Tested, Homer. God tested Moses. 469 00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:56,869 Try to be nice to my sisters. 470 00:18:56,903 --> 00:19:00,139 Very hard on me to have you fighting all the time. 471 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:02,442 Oh..Okay, Marge. I'll get along with them. 472 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,844 Then, I will hug some snakes. 473 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:08,848 Yes, I will hug and kiss some poisonous snakes! 474 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,550 Now, that's sarcasm. 475 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,554 Well well, well. Look who needs us again 476 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,656 to get his Chauffeur's License. 477 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,891 Look, all I ask is that you be fair. 478 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,628 Oh! Did not adjust side mirror-- minus one point. 479 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,331 Failed to check blind spot-- minus two points. 480 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,633 You won't be happy till my family thinks I'm a loser, will ya? 481 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:27,900 You a a loser, Homer. 482 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:30,169 And we're winners. Ya gotta learn that. 483 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,672 Seat belt twisted-- minus one point. 484 00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:35,041 Nagging the driver-- minus ten points for you! 485 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,643 Grazed a cone-- minus five points. 486 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,345 Being a jerk-- minus a million points. 487 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,648 - (stifled) D-oh! - One more wrong answer 488 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:45,184 and Homer flunks another of life's little tests. 489 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:46,753 And what's this? Ohhh... 490 00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:49,656 Someone didn't fill in a circle all the way. 491 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,657 Oh! 492 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,058 ( growls ) 493 00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:53,560 Selma: Oh. 494 00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,328 Oh, boy. Oh, that felt good. 495 00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,529 Let me try. 496 00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:57,730 Oh. 497 00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:58,698 Oh, yeah. 498 00:19:58,731 --> 00:19:59,699 Oh, boy. 499 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,434 Oh, that was so sweet. 500 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,606 So Homer, how did you do? Well, I... 501 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:10,543 Ladies, please don't tell me you're smoking 502 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,944 in a government building 503 00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,381 because that is precisely the kind of infraction 504 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,749 that can cost a couple of sisters their promotion. 505 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:17,884 Uh... Uh... 506 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:19,419 Yeah, oh, what? You mean, uh... 507 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,922 ( both stammering ) 508 00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:26,793 ( snickering ) 509 00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:30,730 ( sighs ) 510 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,400 I'll never forgive myself for this. 511 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,036 Wait a minute. 512 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,538 Those are yours, sir? 513 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,606 Yes. 514 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:40,607 ( coughs ) 515 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,241 I am in flavor country. 516 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:43,743 Both of them? 517 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:44,744 ( coughs ) 518 00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:45,978 It's a big country. 519 00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:47,414 Ladies, I apologize. 520 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,649 And you, sir, are worse than Hitler. 521 00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:50,550 Oh! 522 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,619 Homer, I'm... 523 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,554 I'm speechless. 524 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,656 You just saved our hides. 525 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:59,659 Please, on top of everything else, don't make me picture your hides. 526 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,629 That's a wonderful thing you did for my sisters. 527 00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,230 I didn't do it for them. 528 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,732 I did it for yo Marge. 529 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,066 I'd kill for you. 530 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,068 Please ask me to kill for you. 531 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,438 No, Homie. You see? 532 00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:13,740 This is the stuff I've been telling you about 533 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:14,607 that you never see. 534 00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:17,744 Homer... 535 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,780 We're... sorry. 536 00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:22,582 If there's anything we can do to make it up.... 537 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,416 Call off the debt? 538 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:24,651 Or, say we could let you 539 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,085 pass your driver's test. 540 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,086 Call off the debt? 541 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,655 Uh... well... 542 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,457 Debt's off. Let's go, Marge. Whoo-hoo! 543 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,959 ( tires squealing ) 544 00:22:25,412 --> 00:22:27,313 Shh!