1
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:11,279
( bell ringing )

2
00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:15,349
D-OHH!

3
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:16,684
( screams )

4
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:37,705
WELCOME TO THE 6:00 NEWS
IN OUR BRAND-NEW STUDIO.

5
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,573
LOOKING GOOD, SPRINGFIELD.

6
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:41,242
( crowd shouting )

7
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:45,513
IN TODAY'S NEWS, A TWO-TON RHINO
ESCAPED FROM THE SPRINGFIELD ZOO

8
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,915
BUT ZOO OFFICIALS
WERE QUICK TO ACT

9
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:53,587
AND PETUNIA, AS SHE IS KNOWN,
IS SAFELY BACK IN CAPTIVITY.

10
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:56,023
IN OTHER NEWS, A THREE-TON RHINO

11
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,258
THAT ESCAPED
FROM THE ZOO LAST WEEK

12
00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:58,759
IS STILL AT LARGE.

13
00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:02,596
Marge:
WHO BROKE MY VASE?

14
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:04,098
Lisa:
WHO TOOK MY TEST PAPERS

15
00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:05,766
OFF THE REFRIGERATOR
AND TORE THEM UP?

16
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,435
WHO SPREAD GARBAGE
OVER FLANDERS' YARD

17
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:08,869
BEFORE I GOT
A CHANCE TO?

18
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,272
OH, PLEASE. THIS IS
SENSELESS DESTRUCTION

19
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,874
WITH NONE OF MY USUAL
SOCIAL COMMENTARY.

20
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:14,808
( growls )

21
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:18,379
IF IT WASN'T YOU,
THEN WHO WAS IT?

22
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,813
( growls )

23
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:22,750
WELL, I'M SURE THESE THINGS
DIDN'T DESTROY THEMSELVES

24
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:23,717
NOW, DID THEY?

25
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,386
DID THEY?!

26
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,421
( growls )

27
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,723
HMM. I GUESS

28
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,091
BART'S NOT TO BLAME.

29
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,894
HE'S LUCKY TOO,
BECAUSE IT'S SPANKING SEASON

30
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,830
AND I GOT A HANKERING
FOR SOME SPANKERING.

31
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,266
( barks )

32
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:41,769
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE
SO ENERGETIC TODAY, BOY

33
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,637
BUT PREPARE
TO BE WORN OUT.

34
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:46,674
( barks )

35
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,777
WHAT'S WRONG, BOY?

36
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,078
GETTING TIRED?

37
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,247
( laughing )
( laughing )

38
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,649
( panting playfully )

39
00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:57,385
( barking )

40
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,760
I THINK THERE'S
REALLY SOMETHING WRONG

41
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,329
WITH SANTA'S
LITTLE HELPER.

42
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,130
HE WAS UP BARKING
ALL NIGHT

43
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,166
AND DUG UP THE BACK YARD

44
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,334
WORSE THAN EVER.

45
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:14,668
Lisa:
MY BONGO DRUMS!

46
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:16,470
Bart:
MY STROBE LIGHT!

47
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:19,440
Homer:
MY BEST OF RAY STEVENS
FEATURING "THE STREAK" ALBUM.

48
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,476
SO IT WAS THE DOG
THAT BURIED OUR STUFF.

49
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,645
YES. THE DOG.

50
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:25,946
Homer:
OH, MY GOD!

51
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,115
HE'S GOT
THE PRECIOUS

52
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,251
CABLE TV CABLE!

53
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,824
Always use fresh macaroni.

54
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,527
If the box rattles,
throw it away.

55
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,830
Chief Wiggum:
AW.

56
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,966
Announcer:
Your cable TV is experiencing
difficulties.

57
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,668
Please do not panic.

58
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,838
Resist the temptation
to read or talk to loved ones.

59
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,840
Do not attempt
sexual relations

60
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,542
as years of TV radiation

61
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:57,578
have left your genitals
withered and useless.

62
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,179
WELL, I'LL BE DAMNED.

63
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:07,154
EXCUSE ME. WE'RE HAVING
A PROBLEM WITH OUR DOG.

64
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,990
LADY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT
I'M TELLING EVERYONE ELSE:

65
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,759
I'M SORRY IF
YOUR DOG WENT BLIND

66
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,194
BUT YOUR GRIPE IS WITH
HARTZ MOUNTAIN, NOT ME.

67
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,597
NO! OUR DOG IS OUT OF CONTROL.

68
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,232
HE'S WILD, DESTRUCTIVE

69
00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:21,702
AND HAS LITTLE OR NO RESPECT
FOR AUTHORITY.

70
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,738
HMM. LET ME TRY
A CANINE-HUMAN MIND MELD.

71
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:27,174
IT'S AN INCREDIBLY RARE
PSYCHIC POWER

72
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,842
POSSESSED ONLY BY ME

73
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,545
AND THREE OTHER CLERKS
AT THIS STORE.

74
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:32,546
OKAY.

75
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:33,981
( barks )

76
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,251
( moans )

77
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,952
I'M BORED.

78
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,888
I'M RESTLESS.

79
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,023
NEED CHANGE IN LIFE.

80
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:43,924
( barks )

81
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,394
LIKE IMPORTED LEATHER LEASH...

82
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:47,395
( barks )

83
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,796
BLUE CONTACT LENSES...

84
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:49,863
( barks )

85
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,300
200-VOLT SHOCK TRAINING COLLAR.

86
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:55,336
WELL, PROBLEM SOLVED.

87
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,772
HOMER, HOLD ON
TO THE WHEEL!

88
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,608
YOU'VE GOT IT.

89
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,511
HEY!

90
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:09,617
DON'T WORRY. WE'LL CATCH HIM
OR RUN HIM OVER TRYING.

91
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:12,052
LOOK, HE'S HEADED BACK TO
THE GREYHOUND RACING TRACK

92
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,721
WHERE WE FOUND HIM.

93
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,590
DON'T WORRY, AS SOON AS
THEY FIND OUT HE DOESN'T
HAVE ANY MONEY

94
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,859
THEY'LL THROW HIM OUT.
BELIEVE ME, I KNOW.

95
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,134
THIS PLACE
IS SO BIG.

96
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,602
DO YOU THINK
WE SHOULD SPLIT UP

97
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:29,903
AND LOOK FOR HIM, HOMEY?

98
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:30,971
HOMEY?

99
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,574
TWO BUCKS TO WIN
ON NUMBER EIGHT.

100
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,777
( sobbing ):
AND HAVE YOU SEEN
MY BELOVED DOG?

101
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,347
GIVE ME THE TICKET.

102
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,248
WE CAN'T LOSE!

103
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,082
LOOK AT THE NAME

104
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,083
OF THE DOG I BET ON.

105
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,353
"SHE'S THE FASTEST."

106
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,955
HOMER, I DON'T THINK
THAT MEANS NECESSARILY...

107
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,858
She's The Fastest jumps out
to an insurmountable lead.

108
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,860
YOU'RE LUCKY
YOU GOT LOOKS.

109
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:56,096
As they round the far turn,
it's She's The Fastest

110
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,532
followed by
Always Comes In Second
and I'm Number Three.

111
00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:00,334
YES! COME ON, YOU LITTLE HORSE.

112
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,336
They're in the home stretch.

113
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:05,005
It's... Wait!
Another dog is on the track!

114
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,173
IT'S SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER!

115
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,776
The mystery dog is gaining
fast on the outside.

116
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,712
Of course,
he could never win this race--

117
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,046
or could he?

118
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,656
WHAT'S SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER
DOING TO THAT DOG?

119
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:23,857
UH-OH.

120
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,527
LOOKS LIKE HE'S TRYING
TO JUMP OVER HER

121
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,361
BUT HE CAN'T
QUITE MAKE IT.

122
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:29,963
C'MON BOY,
YOU CAN DO IT!

123
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:33,534
This is the end--
This is the end of dog racing.

124
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,668
BOO!
BOO!
BOO!

125
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:37,070
I THINK THEY'RE
IN LOVE.

126
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,006
AW!
AW!
AW!

127
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,512
Homer:
AW! SO THAT'S

128
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:47,415
WHAT'S BEEN WRONG
WITH THE LITTLE FELLA.

129
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:50,150
HE MISSES CASUAL SEX.

130
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,152
CAN WE KEEP
SANTA'S GIRLFRIEND, MOM?

131
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,086
PLEASE?

132
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,488
BUT SHE'S NOT
OUR DOG.

133
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:56,990
SHE'S YOURS NOW.

134
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,259
ONCE THEY FALL IN LOVE, THEY
LOSE THEIR RACING SPIRIT.

135
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:03,330
WON'T YOU MISS HER
LOYALTY AND COMPANIONSHIP?

136
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,866
( guffawing )

137
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,936
LADY, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

138
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,173
OKAY, YOU CAN GO
OUT AND PLAY

139
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:17,578
BUT NO MORE YOU-KNOW-WHAT IN
FRONT OF THE HOUSE, ALL RIGHT?

140
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:20,448
HEY! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?

141
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,073
( laughing )

142
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,483
TAKE IT. IT FELL

143
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,017
ON THE FLOOR.

144
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,626
( growling and snarling )

145
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,601
HEY, BOY, YOU WANT
TO PLAY FETCH?

146
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:17,070
OH! ME AND SANTA'S LITTLE
HELPER USED TO BE A TEAM

147
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,573
BUT HE NEVER WANTS
TO PLAY ANYMORE

148
00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:21,575
SINCE HIS BITCH MOVED IN.

149
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,511
BART, DON'T EVER
SAY THAT WORD AGAIN!

150
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,613
WELL, THAT'S WHAT SHE IS!
I LOOKED IT UP.

151
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,981
I'M GOING TO WRITE
THE DICTIONARY PEOPLE

152
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,650
AND HAVE THAT CHECKED.

153
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,318
IT FEELS LIKE
A MISTAKE TO ME.

154
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,319
HEY, LOOK!

155
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:33,821
A REALLY SMALL DOG

156
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,089
JUST FELL OUT
OF SANTA'S GIRLFRIEND!

157
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,258
OH, MY GOD!
SHE'S HAVING BABIES!

158
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,593
I'M SORRY, GIRL.

159
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:40,628
I THOUGHT

160
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,362
YOU WERE JUST
GETTING FAT.

161
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,197
LOOK! IT'S TWINS!

162
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,866
IT'S TWO SETS OF TWINS.

163
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,301
TWO SETS OF TWINS
AND A TRIPLET.

164
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,337
HOMER! HOMER,
FIND A PLACE

165
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,906
FOR ALL THESE
LITTLE MIRACLES.

166
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,618
Marge:
OH, MY!

167
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,187
I'VE NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

168
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,156
Lisa:
HOW MANY MORE

169
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,724
CAN THERE BE?

170
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,993
All:
TWENTY-TWO...

171
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,995
TWENTY-THREE...

172
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,097
TWENTY-FOUR..!

173
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:26,106
TWENTY-FIVE!

174
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,687
WOW! 25 PUPPIES!

175
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,325
AN ARMY OF DOGS!

176
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,061
NO BULLY WILL EVER
TOUCH ME AGAIN.

177
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,600
HEY, JERKFACE.

178
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:55,235
YOU HAVE THE FACE
OF A JERK.

179
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:57,070
ALL RIGHT SIMPSON,
YOU ASKED FOR IT.

180
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,371
GET HIM, BOYS.

181
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:04,778
HEH.

182
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:07,380
SAY, JIMBO, HOPE I WASN'T
OUT OF LINE

183
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,783
WITH THAT
"JERKFACE" CRACK.

184
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,304
OH, HOMIE

185
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:33,240
AREN'T THEY ADORABLE?

186
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,308
YES.

187
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,044
WE'VE WAITED MANY YEARS

188
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,914
BUT THE GOOD LORD HAS FINALLY
BLESSED US WITH A REAL FAMILY.

189
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,959
( Marge laughing )

190
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,894
LOOK AT BRANFORD II.

191
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,562
ISN'T THAT CUTE?

192
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,831
HE THINKS HE'S ONE
OF THE MODELS, INC.

193
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,800
( all laughing )

194
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,771
Homer:
GET THAT CAT
OUT OF THE WAY!

195
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,977
( yelling )

196
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,544
MY SOCKS!

197
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:22,455
MOM, WHY DO I HAVE
TO WEAR A FLEA COLLAR?

198
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,324
IT'S JUST EASIER
THIS WAY.

199
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:27,761
AH...

200
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:28,829
D-OHH!

201
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:29,763
AH...

202
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,264
D-OHH!

203
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,766
AH...

204
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:33,834
D-OHH!

205
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:34,768
MM...

206
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:35,769
D-OHH!

207
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:36,670
AH...

208
00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:37,671
D-OHH!

209
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:38,672
OOH...

210
00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:39,673
D-OHH!

211
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:41,108
THIS TIME...

212
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,375
D-OHH!

213
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,310
AH...

214
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,712
YEESH.

215
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,279
THIS HOUSE STINKS.

216
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,782
YOU'RE NOT JUST PUTTING
THE NEW NEWSPAPERS

217
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,718
OVER THE OLD ONES, ARE YOU?

218
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,553
DO YOU HAVE
A BETTER IDEA?

219
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,388
NOW, I KNOW

220
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,157
WE LOVE THE PUPPIES
VERY MUCH

221
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,793
BUT I THINK THEY'RE GETTING
TO BE A PROBLEM.

222
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:02,529
YEAH, THEY ATE ALL MY SOCKS.
I HAVE TO WEAR LISA'S
TO SCHOOL TODAY.

223
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:05,298
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN
THE CULOTTES, BOY?

224
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,034
I HAVE TO COORDINATE, DON'T I?

225
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,402
YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE BEEN
THINKING ABOUT GIVING
THE PUPPIES AWAY.

226
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,138
NO!
NO!

227
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,172
MAINLY YOUR MOTHER.

228
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:13,206
IS THAT WHAT WE DO
IN THIS FAMILY?

229
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,208
WHEN SOMEONE BECOMES
AN INCONVENIENCE

230
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:17,344
WE JUST GET RID OF THEM?

231
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,416
HELLO?

232
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,452
IS ANYBODY THERE?

233
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:29,056
AW...

234
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,725
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GIVE
THE DOGS ONE MORE CHANCE.

235
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:35,162
AS LONG AS THE PUPPIES
DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE WRONG

236
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,329
THEY STAY.

237
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,365
ON A COMPLETELY UNRELATED TOPIC

238
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,934
I'M HAVING A VERY IMPORTANT
DINNER PARTY TONIGHT.

239
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,369
SPLENDID.

240
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,436
WHO'S COMING?

241
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,539
REVEREND LOVEJOY,
YOUR OLD ARMY DRILL SERGEANT

242
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:49,442
AND THE REGIONAL DIRECTOR
OF THE I.R.S.

243
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,379
JUST LOVELY, MARGE.

244
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:53,713
THE WHOLE TOWN

245
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:56,383
WILL HEAR
WHAT A PERFECT EVENING THIS WAS.

246
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,118
HOW NOTHING AT ALL
WENT WRONG.

247
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,220
SIMPSON, THIS EVENING
HAS GONE SO FLAWLESSLY

248
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:01,421
I'M GONNA FORGET THAT

249
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,291
YOU WERE MISTAKENLY LET OUT OF
THE ARMY A MONTH EARLY.

250
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,860
I'M SO IMPRESSED
BY THIS PROBLEM-FREE EVENING

251
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,862
THERE'S NO NEED
FOR THAT AUDIT.

252
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,263
All:
A TOAST

253
00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:11,731
TO THE SIMPSONS.

254
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,633
AND TO THE DELECTABLE TURKEY...

255
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,936
THAT'S WALKING
AROUND THE TABLE?!

256
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,638
DEAR LORD, IT'S A DEMON BIRD!

257
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,075
( retching )

258
00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:30,383
SIMPSON, SEE YOU AT REVEILLE
0500 TOMORROW.

259
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,285
SEE YOU AT THE I.R.S.

260
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,121
SEE YOU IN HELL.

261
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,488
FROM HEAVEN.

262
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,262
WELL, WE SURE COULD USE

263
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:45,265
A POOCH TO GUARD THE FLOCK
AT THE FLANDEROSA.

264
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,734
IT WOULD BE NICE
TO HAVE SOME COMPANIONSHIP

265
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,636
WHEN MOTHER GOES OUT
ON DATES.

266
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:52,739
WE COULD USE A NEW PET
OVER AT THE HOME

267
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,976
SEEING HOW WE ACCIDENTLY
KILLED THAT SMART-MOUTHED BIRD.

268
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,945
( whimpering )

269
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,815
THEY DON'T LIKE
BEING BROKEN UP.

270
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:04,084
WE'VE GOT TO BE
REALISTIC, KIDS.

271
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,753
WHO'S GOING TO HAVE
A BIG ENOUGH HEART

272
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,655
TO TAKE CARE OF 25 PUPPIES?

273
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:12,092
AND I KNOW THE LITTLE FELLOWS
WILL LOVE ROMPING AROUND

274
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,327
MY MANY ACRES,
CHASING MY MANY CARS

275
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:17,097
DRINKING FROM
MY MANY TOILETS.

276
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,498
WHO WOULDN'T?

277
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,600
MOM, DON'T GIVE
THE PUPPIES TO HIM.

278
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,369
HE'LL BE MEAN TO THEM.

279
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,436
SHE'S RIGHT, HOMER.

280
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,672
THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT HIS FACE

281
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,040
I DON'T TRUST.

282
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:29,242
( evil laughter )

283
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,112
UH...

284
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,114
I'M SORRY, MR. BURNS

285
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:37,117
BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE THESE DOGS.

286
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,451
AM I FIRED?

287
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,287
OH, OF COURSE NOT.

288
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,855
THEY'RE YOUR PETS.

289
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:43,490
YOU CAN DO
AS YOU WISH.

290
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,925
GOOD DAY, EVERYONE.

291
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,628
MY, HE CERTAINLY
TOOK THAT WELL.

292
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,498
A LITTLE TOO WELL,
IF YOU ASK ME.

293
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:54,301
I'M SURE HE'S PLOTTING
SOME BRILLIANT SCHEME

294
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,402
TO GET THOSE PUPPIES.

295
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,538
THERE YOU GO.

296
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,207
THERE YOU GO.
YOU, TOO.

297
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,542
HONESTLY, SIR,
YOU JUST DON'T PUT THE EFFORT

298
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,744
INTO YOUR SCHEMES
THAT YOU USED TO.

299
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:12,852
( humming )

300
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,991
ER, UH, DON'T WORRY, FOLKS.

301
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,492
WE'LL FIND YOUR WALLET.

302
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:22,362
DOGS! CHIEF, YOU'RE GETTING
POWDERED SUGAR

303
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,863
ALL OVER MY FLOOR.

304
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:26,066
NO, I'M NOT.
NO, I'M NOT.

305
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,435
I'M, UH...
DUSTING FOR PRINTS.

306
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:29,602
OH.

307
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,338
WE DON'T HAVE TO WAIT
FOR THE COPS.

308
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,439
WHO CAN TRACK
THE PUPPIES BETTER

309
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,840
THAN THEIR OWN MOM AND DAD?

310
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,909
Lisa:
LET'S GO FIND
YOUR BABIES.

311
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:40,080
DINNER'S ON, DOGS!

312
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:42,382
I'M SORRY, KIDS.

313
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,517
I DON'T THINK WE'RE EVER GOING

314
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,453
TO FIND YOUR GREYHOUNDS.

315
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:50,723
MAYBE MR. BURNS WILL SELL YOU
ONE OF THE 25 HE GOT LAST NIGHT.

316
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,770
( dogs barking )

317
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:06,940
WHO KNOWS WHAT
HORRIBLE THINGS HE'S DOING

318
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:09,576
TO THOSE INNOCENT
LITTLE PUPPIES?

319
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,750
( laughing )

320
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,452
OH, THERE.

321
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,421
NOW, WASN'T THAT HEAVENLY?

322
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,423
DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER TOO?

323
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,391
( all yapping )

324
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,926
HE'S GIVING THEM A BATH.

325
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,395
THERE YOU ARE.

326
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,497
THERE YOU GO, LITTLE FELLA.

327
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,132
AND YOU.

328
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:35,902
( gasping )

329
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,004
SMITHERS, LOOK.

330
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,438
HE'S STANDING UP.

331
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:39,439
I'VE NEVER SEEN

332
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,807
ANYTHING SO ADORABLE.

333
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,909
YOU KNOW WHO IT
REMINDS ME OF?

334
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:43,943
BENJI?
NO.

335
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,145
LASSIE?

336
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,947
NO, NO, NO. A PERSON.
YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN.

337
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,017
SNOOP DOGGY DOG?
BOB BARKER?

338
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,451
DAVID BRENNER?

339
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:55,688
NO. NO. THE PERSON WHO'S
ALWAYS STANDING AND WALKING.

340
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:56,956
RORY CALHOUN?

341
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,625
THAT'S IT.

342
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,293
YOU STAY WITH ME.

343
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:03,363
YOU'RE THE PICK OF THE LITTER.

344
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:08,701
MAYBE WE WERE WRONG
ABOUT BURNS ON THIS ONE.

345
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:14,474
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS, SIR?

346
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,509
YOUHAVE
A VERY FULL WARDROBE AS IT IS.

347
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:17,944
YES...

348
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,213
BUT NOT COMPLETELY FULL.

349
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,614
YOU SEE

350
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,984
* SOME MEN HUNT FOR SPORT

351
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,454
* OTHERS HUNT FOR FOOD

352
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:32,525
* THE ONLY THING
I'M HUNTING FOR *

353
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:38,765
* IS AN OUTFIT
THAT LOOKS GOOD *

354
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,636
* SEE MY...

355
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:44,737
* VEST

356
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,839
* SEE MY VEST
MADE FROM REAL *

357
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,475
* GORILLA CHEST

358
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,742
* FEEL THIS SWEATER

359
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,245
* THERE'S NO BETTER
THAN AUTHENTIC IRISH SETTER *

360
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:54,047
* SEE THIS HAT,
T'WAS MY CAT *

361
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:56,483
* MY EVENING WEAR, VAMPIRE BAT

362
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,584
* THESE WHITE SLIPPERS

363
00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:00,353
* ARE ALBINO
AFRICAN ENDANGERED RHINO *

364
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,322
* GRIZZLY BEAR UNDERWEAR

365
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,391
* TURTLES' NECKS,
I'VE GOT MY SHARE *

366
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:08,228
* BERET OF POODLE,
ON MY NOODLE, IT SHALL REST *

367
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,097
* TRY MY RED ROBIN SUIT

368
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,432
* IT COMES ONE BREAST OR TWO

369
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:13,433
* SEE MY VEST

370
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:14,334
* SEE MY VEST

371
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,769
* SEE MY VEST

372
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,108
* LIKE MY...

373
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:24,911
* LOAFERS, FORMER GOPHERS

374
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,347
* IT WAS THAT
OR SKIN THE CHAUFFEURS *

375
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,517
* BUT A GREYHOUND FUR TUXEDO
WOULD BE BEST *

376
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,685
* SO LET'S PREPARE
THESE DOGS... *

377
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,354
* KILL TWO
FOR MATCHING CLOGS *

378
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,922
* SEE MY VEST

379
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,557
* SEE MY VEST

380
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:44,531
* OH, PLEASE, WON'T YOU
SEE MY VEST. *

381
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,633
I REALLY LIKE THE VEST.

382
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:47,800
I GATHERED. YEAH.

383
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:51,238
HE'S GOING TO MAKE A TUXEDO
OUT OF OUR PUPPIES.

384
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,872
( humming "See My Vest" )

385
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:53,940
BART!

386
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:56,143
SORRY. YOU GOT
TO ADMIT, IT'S CATCHY.

387
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:57,410
COME ON, SMITHERS.

388
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,779
LET'S GO FINISH
THE LITTLE FLEA CIRCUSES OFF

389
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:02,915
EXCEPT FOR "LITTLE MONTY,"
OF COURSE.

390
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:07,620
WE GOT TO GET
THE DOGS OUT OF THERE.

391
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:10,056
( yapping and barking )

392
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,258
SHH!

393
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,592
HUSH, PUPPIES!

394
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,494
WE GOT TO GET
YOU OUT OF HERE.

395
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:21,434
( gasping )

396
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:22,469
I KNOW.

397
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:23,503
THE WINDOW.

398
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,572
NO, BART!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

399
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,140
DOGS ALWAYS LAND
ON THEIR FEET.

400
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:28,241
THAT'S CATS.

401
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,642
NO. IT'S DOGS.

402
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:30,843
I'LL PROVE IT.

403
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,746
BEST TWO OUT OF THREE.

404
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,248
( latch rattling )

405
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,283
( gasping )

406
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:37,650
BART, LOOK.

407
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,419
A LAUNDRY CHUTE.

408
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,453
OKAY, GUYS.

409
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:41,954
LET'S MOVE.

410
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,629
COME ON.

411
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,498
COME ON.

412
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:52,732
I GOT AN IDEA.

413
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,674
HMM?
HUH?

414
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:04,043
SORRY, MONTY

415
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,846
BUT YOU'RE TOO BIG
FOR THIS RIDE.

416
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,485
( yelling )

417
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,654
QUICK! LET'S GET THE..!

418
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:15,722
GOING SOMEWHERE?

419
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,324
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

420
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,359
HOW DID YOU GET HERE FIRST?

421
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,861
OH, THERE'LL BE PLENTY OF TIME
FOR EXPLANATIONS LATER.

422
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,797
RIGHT NOW, I'LL BE TAKING
MY PUPPIES BACK.

423
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,132
BUT THEY'RE OURS.

424
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,734
YOU STOLE THEM FROM US.

425
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:28,968
HERE'S A PHONE.

426
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,003
CALL SOMEBODY WHO CARES.

427
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:34,574
NOW, IF YOU'LL
EXCUSE US, CHILDREN

428
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,610
THE PUPS HAVE A DATE
WITH A FASHION KNIFE.

429
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:42,715
THERE. NOW YOU DON'T KNOW
WHICH ONE'S LITTLE MONTY.

430
00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:44,817
I GUESS IF YOU DON'T WANT
HIM TO BE PART OF YOUR TUXEDO,

431
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,420
YOU HAVE TO LET
THE OTHER DOGS GO, TOO.

432
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:48,521
NICE TRY.

433
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,357
COME ON, LITTLE MONTY.

434
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,524
STAND UP.

435
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:52,492
( gulps )

436
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,726
COME ON.
STAND UP.

437
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,328
DO YOUR TRICK.

438
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,729
NO. DON'T.
NO.

439
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,931
STAY DOWN, LITTLE MONTY.
STAY DOWN.

440
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,569
EXCELLENT.

441
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,209
NOW, IT'S...

442
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,278
( groans )

443
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,413
SIMPLY A MATTER
OF BENDING DOWN

444
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,181
AND PICKING UP THE ONE

445
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,783
AND ONLY...

446
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:18,251
( sputtering )

447
00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:20,753
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.

448
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,221
THEY'RE ALL STANDING.

449
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,757
I CAN'T TELL THEM APART.

450
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,026
WELL, ALL RIGHT, YOU WIN.

451
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,262
I'LL HAVE TO KILL THEM ALL.

452
00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:30,297
NO!

453
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:35,268
BUT THEY'RE
SO WRETCHEDLY ADORABLE.

454
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:37,737
25 LITTLE RORY CALHOUNS.

455
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,906
I CAN'T DO IT...

456
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:42,041
BUT I CAN KILL YOU.

457
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,242
( whimpers )

458
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:46,746
NO. I CAN'T KILL YOU EITHER.

459
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:47,914
LOOK AT YOU.

460
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,216
STANDING THERE
ON YOUR HIND LEGS

461
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,653
LIKE A COUPLE OF RORY CALHOUNS.

462
00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:54,887
( sighs )

463
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,089
WELL, MR. BURNS,
I HOPE YOU'VE REALIZED THE FOLLY

464
00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,092
OF KILLING INNOCENT ANIMALS
FOR FASHION.

465
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,294
OH, I HAVE.

466
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:02,795
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER WEAR

467
00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:04,797
ANY CLOTHING
MADE FROM AN ANIMAL...

468
00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:07,800
( quietly ):
...THAT CAN DO AN AMUSING TRICK.

469
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:08,835
Another victory

470
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:11,170
for Montgomery Burns's
champion greyhound.

471
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:13,272
25 dogs, 25 World Champions,

472
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:14,841
which, so far,
have earned their owner

473
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,576
over ten million dollars.

474
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,946
I'll bet whoever
gave him those dogs
is kicking themselves now.

475
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,981
( wood creaking )

476
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,650
HOMER!

477
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,485
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO!

478
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:28,621
MARGE, YOU KNOW
THAT BATTING THIS LIGHT BULB

479
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:30,823
IS THE ONLY THING
THAT CHEERS ME UP

480
00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:34,461
AFTER GIVING AWAY
THOSE MILLION-DOLLAR GREYHOUNDS.

481
00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:36,429
D-OHH..!

482
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:37,530
UGH!

483
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:29,916
SHH!