1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,131 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:11,094 (bell ringing) 3 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,890 D'oh! 4 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,226 -Ahh! -(tires screech) 5 00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:19,728 (fax machine beeping) 6 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,835 Aw, all these new superheroes suck. 7 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:44,836 None of them can hold a candle 8 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,129 to Radioactive Man. 9 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:48,757 The only decent new one is Radiation Dude. 10 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,009 Naw, he's just a cheap imitation of Radioactive Man. 11 00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:52,177 Explain. 12 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:54,888 {\an8}The similarities are subtle but many. 13 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:57,557 {\an8}For example, Radioactive Man has his famous catchphrase 14 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,142 {\an8}"Up and atom!" 15 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,062 {\an8}with "atom" spelled a-t-o-m in a delicious pun. 16 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,396 {\an8}Go on. 17 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,731 {\an8}While Radiation Dude 18 00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:07,192 {\an8}has a similar but lamer catchphrase, 19 00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:08,902 {\an8}"Up and let's go." 20 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:11,196 {\an8}So you kids fancy yourselves experts, eh? 21 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:14,032 {\an8}Well, between us, we've read all 814 issues 22 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,950 {\an8}of Radioactive Man. 23 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:16,993 {\an8}Yeah, and we both have the special 24 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,620 {\an8}limited edition issue 25 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:21,414 {\an8}where he and fallout boy get killed on every page! 26 00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,917 {\an8}Well, I suppose you know then that Hollywood is planning 27 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,794 {\an8}a feature film about Radioactive Man. 28 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:26,961 {\an8}(gasping) 29 00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,338 {\an8}I have got to do something 30 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:29,798 {\an8}about that air conditioner suction. 31 00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:31,883 {\an8}Who's going to play Radioactive Man? 32 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:34,928 {\an8}I will tell you in exactly seven minutes. 33 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:40,892 {\an8}Okay, here we are. 34 00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:43,728 {\an8}"Alt-dot-nerd-dot-obsessive. 35 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,355 "Need know star 36 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,190 RM pic." 37 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:05,166 I don't see why Rainier Wolfcastle 38 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,501 should be the star. 39 00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:09,879 I think we should bring back Dirk Richter. 40 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,423 Kids will want to see the original Radioactive Man. 41 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:13,925 I keep telling you-- 42 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:16,636 He's 73 years old, and he's dead. 43 00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:17,971 Granted, but-- 44 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:19,472 Besides, we want to stay as far away 45 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,851 from the campy '70s version as possible. 46 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:25,311 Billowing backpacks, Radioactive Man! 47 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,147 It's the worst villain of them all! 48 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,357 The Scoutmaster! 49 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,276 I see him, Fallout Boy. 50 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:33,153 (a la Paul Lynde) Go get them, scouts. 51 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,830 Don't be afraid to use your nails, boys. 52 00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:45,290 (laughing) 53 00:02:57,802 --> 00:02:59,804 ♪♪ (rock) 54 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,814 (shudders) 55 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,858 So, where could we shoot this picture? 56 00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:14,652 We need a city that has a nuclear reactor and a gorge, 57 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,654 and can guarantee us the full corporation 58 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,072 of city officials. 59 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,325 I'll check Variety. 60 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,996 Wow! Look at that ad! 61 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,875 All right, this place must be hot. 62 00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,419 They don't need a big ad or even correct spelling. 63 00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,296 I agree with that logic. 64 00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,464 Get me two plane tickets 65 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:35,590 to the state that Springfield is in. 66 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,428 All right, we have $30 million to spend. 67 00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:43,056 We'll blow up our dams, destroy forests, anything. 68 00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:45,475 If there's a species of animal that's causing you problems, 69 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,935 nosing around your camera, 70 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,353 we'll have it wiped out! 71 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,146 Look, we just want to make movies, 72 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,940 not kill things. 73 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,859 Right. We understand. 74 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,278 SKINNER (on PA): Students, I have an announcement. 75 00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,823 One of your favorite comic book heroes, Radio Man-- 76 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,992 Radioactive Man, stupid! 77 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,953 Strange, I shouldn't have been able to hear that. 78 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,872 Anyway, a Hollywood studio has decided to film 79 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,750 the Radioactive Man movie here in Springfield. 80 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,085 (all cheering) 81 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,920 And they will be holding auditions 82 00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:16,631 to find a local youngster to play Fallout Boy. 83 00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,591 (all gasping) 84 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,677 Oh, and the air conditioner will be fixed this afternoon. 85 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,224 (all munching) 86 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,935 Look behind you, Radioactive Man! 87 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:30,812 The sun is exploding again! 88 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,773 Bart, why are you talking like that? 89 00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:36,109 Yeah, and who the hell are you talking to? 90 00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:38,278 Marge, do you have other men in this house? 91 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,821 Radioactive men? 92 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,948 I'm practicing my Fallout Boy dialogue. 93 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,117 If I get this role, I could finally come to terms 94 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,119 with this funny little muddle called Bart. 95 00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:01,592 Everyone is talking about 96 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,970 Radioactive Man 97 00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:05,972 y'all. 98 00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:07,807 Wow! You mean, you were one 99 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:09,058 of the original Little Rascals? 100 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,226 Yeah. 101 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,437 Which one were you? The ugly one? 102 00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,189 Were you the ugly one? 103 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,067 No. I was the tough kid, Smelly. 104 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,986 My shtick was looking into an exhaust pipe 105 00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:21,988 and getting a face full of soot. 106 00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:23,823 Nobody could do that better than me. 107 00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,117 Of course, it was kind of hard to think of reasons 108 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,952 for me to look in that exhaust pipe every time 109 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,495 but, you know, we had good writers. 110 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,748 William Faulkner could write an exhaust pipe gag 111 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:32,999 that would really make you think. 112 00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,709 If you were such a big shot, 113 00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:36,419 why aren't you still making movies? 114 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,380 Moe? 115 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,548 Moe? 116 00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:47,305 Oh, no. My favorite aggie. 117 00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:49,223 Huh? 118 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,976 (car engine starts up) 119 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,186 You stole my bit! 120 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:54,604 That's my bit! 121 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,189 Ooh, ooh, you stole my bit! 122 00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:58,524 Cut! Oh, my God! 123 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,985 He's killed the original Alfalfa! 124 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,945 Yeah. Luckily, Alfalfa was an orphan 125 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,197 owned by the studio. 126 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,491 -ALL: Oh, I see. -Yeah, that makes sense. 127 00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:08,910 With wealthy Hollywood people on the way 128 00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:10,578 local merchants can be forgiven 129 00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,455 for raising their prices a little. 130 00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:22,298 Watch out, Radioactive Man! 131 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,175 (all rehearsing line) 132 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:25,927 Watch... out... Radioactive Man. 133 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,970 -Watch out! -(gasping) 134 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,138 Radioactive Man! 135 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,223 (cheering) 136 00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:31,682 Totally awesome. 137 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,142 Thank you, thank you. Thank you. 138 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,811 It's all in the delivery. 139 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:37,230 Now is the winter of our discontent. 140 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,148 Oh, no! Run! 141 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,525 Wow! 142 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,235 (cheering) 143 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:45,071 Mom... Don't make me do this. 144 00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:47,281 I don't want to be an actor. 145 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:48,699 Nonsense. 146 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,034 You're going to be great. 147 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,869 Now take off those glasses 148 00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,247 so they can see your beautiful eyes. 149 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,501 (monotone) "At last the world is safe, 150 00:06:58,584 --> 00:06:59,919 eh, Fallout Boy?" 151 00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:01,421 -"Watch ou--" -Next. 152 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,299 Ha ha! 153 00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,969 Hey, that hurts. 154 00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:10,805 No wonder no one came to my birthday party. 155 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:15,768 "At last the world is safe, eh, Fallout Boy?" 156 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,478 What's for lunch tomorrow? 157 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,981 -Next. -Chicken necks? 158 00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:22,108 We're never going to find-- Wait a minute. 159 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,152 That child has the exact qualities we're looking for! 160 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,903 He's perfect! What is his name?! 161 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,822 I don't know. He just came along with one of the others. 162 00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:29,490 He didn't sign up officially. 163 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,033 Oh, forget him then. 164 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,577 It wouldn't be fair to the other children 165 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,912 who filled out their application forms in full. 166 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,706 Next! 167 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:40,960 "At last the world is safe, eh, Fallout Boy?" 168 00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:43,963 Watch out, Radioactive Man! 169 00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,548 Brilliant reading. Again. 170 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,176 Watch out, Radioactive Man! 171 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,261 Fantastic! One more time. 172 00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,722 Watch out, Radioactive Man! 173 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,932 Congratulations, Bart Simpson! 174 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,934 You're our new Fallout Boy! 175 00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,311 That's what I'd be saying to you 176 00:07:58,394 --> 00:07:59,520 if you weren't an inch too short. 177 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:00,605 Next. 178 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,777 I've got to grow an inch by tomorrow 179 00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,321 or I won't get that part. 180 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:10,198 Pull, you mighty stallions! 181 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,532 Pull! Show me no mercy. 182 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,622 Oh! 183 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,709 (alarm clock ringing) 184 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,092 Oh, I only grew half an inch. 185 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,928 I'm still too short. 186 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,847 Growing half an inch in one day is still pretty good, Bart. 187 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,058 Yeah, that's how fast Grampa's shrinking. 188 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,310 Oh, I'm as tall as I ever was. 189 00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,354 Is there any way I can look taller 190 00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,439 without actually being taller? 191 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,529 Good news, gentlemen. 192 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,072 I've grown that extra inch you wanted, 193 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,281 plus several feet more. 194 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,784 We've found our new Fallout Boy! 195 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,410 -(gasps) -And he's right over there. 196 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:57,620 Huh? 197 00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,789 Ladies and gentlemen, 198 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,250 meet America's new Fallout Boy. 199 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,751 (cheering) 200 00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:06,921 Out of the way. 201 00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:09,090 Milhouse, baby! 202 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,925 Lionel Hutz, your new agent, bodyguard, 203 00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:13,469 unauthorized biographer and drug dealer... 204 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,929 keeper-awayer. 205 00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:18,266 (screaming) 206 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,809 Leave me alone! 207 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:21,727 Mom! Dad! 208 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,271 Make them stop! 209 00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:28,442 What is all this stuff? 210 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,236 We've heard you've become a star. 211 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:33,072 We decided we better start living in the fast lane. 212 00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:34,699 What if I'm not a success? 213 00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,742 How will you pay for all this? 214 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:39,120 I'm sorry, I can't hear you, son. 215 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,330 I'm wearing a jacuzzi suit. 216 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,373 (groans) 217 00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:43,958 Oh! I just missed out 218 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:47,128 on the greatest opportunity of my entire life. 219 00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:48,671 George Burns was right. 220 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,424 Show business is a hideous bitch goddess. 221 00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:52,967 Cheer up, Bart. 222 00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:54,802 Milhouse is still going to need a true friend. 223 00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:57,805 Someone to tell him he's great, someone to rub lotion on him 224 00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,599 someone he can hurl whiskey bottles at 225 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:00,891 when he's feeling low. 226 00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:03,352 You're right, Lis. I can suck up to him 227 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,688 like the religious people suck up to God. 228 00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:06,731 (banging) 229 00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,107 Guess what, kids? 230 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,942 They're gonna pay us $50 a day 231 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,902 to film some of the movie here. 232 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,113 We'll run that cable through here. 233 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,241 Careful, now. 234 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:18,784 Hey... 235 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:21,954 Didn't you direct "Unnatural Discretion"? 236 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,914 Well... yes, I did. 237 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,625 Hoo-wee! 238 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,460 Whoo! Oh! 239 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,295 You know, I never walk out of a movie 240 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:30,296 but yech! 241 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,631 (clearing throat) 242 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,341 I've got an idea, Mr. Simpson-- 243 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,551 Why don't you get something to eat from our food truck? 244 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,136 (distant panting) 245 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:38,471 Mr. Simpson? 246 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:44,060 You've got to give me the part of "Krispy the Klown." 247 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,145 I'm sorry. You're wrong for the part. 248 00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:48,522 But look at my range. 249 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:56,072 I'm sorry. "Krispy the Klown" has been cast 250 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,532 but I will hire you for "Angry the Clown," 251 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,785 "Silly Sailor," and "Dr. Clowneous." 252 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,746 I won't let you down. 253 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:06,165 Well, I might let you down on "Silly Sailor." 254 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,048 Up and atom. 255 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,633 Up and at them. 256 00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,635 Up and atom! 257 00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:18,844 Up and at them! 258 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,596 Up and atom! 259 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,847 Up and at them! 260 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:22,890 Better. 261 00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:24,642 Hi, Milhouse. 262 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,185 Hey, I want you to know 263 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:28,020 that I'm glad at least one of us got the part. 264 00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,148 Milhouse! 265 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,109 I didn't do it. I wished him well. 266 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,694 I wished him well! 267 00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,570 (screams) 268 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:39,156 The stupid dummy wasn't supposed to explode yet. 269 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,199 (sighing) 270 00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:42,368 There's the real Milhouse. 271 00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,120 (tires screeching) 272 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,038 (gasping) Milhouse! 273 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,207 Hey! You're not Milhouse. 274 00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,334 No, I'm just Milhouse when he gets hurt. 275 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,752 (groans) 276 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,713 Okay, let's get the real Milhouse over here 277 00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,506 under the X-ray truck. 278 00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,469 Hi, Bart. 279 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,595 Hey, cool, Milhouse. 280 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,431 You get to be crushed by a truck. 281 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:06,434 It sounds like more fun than it really is. 282 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,478 Hey! I think I'm lying on a broken bottle. 283 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,855 Beautiful! Use it. 284 00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:13,858 {\an8}Okay, Fallout Boy origin scene-- Take one. 285 00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,276 Action! 286 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,819 (sizzling) 287 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:17,820 (grunting) 288 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,238 Up and at them. 289 00:12:19,321 --> 00:12:21,949 Thanks for the help, mysterious stranger. 290 00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:25,786 Say, I think those X-rays gave me super powers. 291 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,997 DIRECTOR: And, cut! 292 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,832 That was perfect. Let's do it again. 293 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:33,002 Uh, these aren't real x-rays, are they? 294 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,212 Good question! We'll check into that. 295 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,089 Okay, X-ray machine to full power 296 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,632 and... Action! 297 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,926 (sizzling) 298 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:46,056 Uh, sir, why don't you just use real cows? 299 00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,683 Cows don't look like cows on film. 300 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,518 You got to use horses. 301 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,603 What do you do if you want something 302 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:53,189 that looks like a horse? 303 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,274 Usually we just tape a bunch of cats together. 304 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:56,609 You guys work on the movie? 305 00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,110 You saying we're not working? 306 00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,654 Oh, I always wanted to be a teamster. 307 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,740 So lazy and surly. 308 00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:05,034 Mind if I relax next to you? 309 00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,286 (yawning) 310 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:11,248 (yawning) 311 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:29,141 Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 312 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,226 Oh, here he comes. 313 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,769 What is it now, Quimby? 314 00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:34,772 Nothing, nothing, only the city has just passed 315 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,817 another tax on puffy directing pants. 316 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,069 But I don't wear puffy pants. 317 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:43,280 I meant a tax on not wearing puffy pants. 318 00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,282 -Oy! -I'm sorry. 319 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,623 Wow! You really got it made now, Milhouse. 320 00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:54,124 This is living. 321 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,417 Is it, Bart? 322 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,419 Is it really? 323 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,671 Yeah. 324 00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,631 Ever since I became a movie star 325 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,174 I've been miserable. 326 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,593 I had to get up at 5:00 a.m. just for makeup. 327 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,555 I like the way the blush brings out my cheekbones 328 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,139 but it's not worth it. 329 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,934 And making movies is so horribly repetitive. 330 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,686 I've said "Jiminy jillikers" so many times 331 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,604 the words have lost all meaning. 332 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,440 We've got to do the "Jiminy jillikers" scene again, Milhouse. 333 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,526 (growling) But we already did it. 334 00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:23,404 It took seven hours, but we did it. 335 00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:25,489 It's done. 336 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,576 Yes, but we've got to do it from different angles 337 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,035 again and again 338 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,162 and again and again and again. 339 00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,747 (screaming) 340 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,001 Yeah... 341 00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:39,086 (sighing) 342 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:45,759 I can't believe Silly Sailor beat us both up 343 00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:49,722 and imprisoned us in his floating aqua world. 344 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,181 Jiminy jillikers! 345 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,766 Tut-tut, now. 346 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:56,061 There's no need for profanity, Fallout Boy. 347 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,980 Everyone in town has been gouging us silly 348 00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,523 but it's worth it. 349 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,442 It's all up there on the screen. 350 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:03,944 Yes. That Milhouse is going to be big. 351 00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,529 Gabby Hayes big! 352 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,909 Okay, listen up, everybody. 353 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,994 This is the hardest, most expensive scene in the movie, 354 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:15,372 and we only get one shot at it, so we have to do it right. 355 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:18,167 Fallout Boy will untie Radioactive Man 356 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,128 and pull him to safety moments before he's hit 357 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:24,048 with a 40-foot wall of sulfuric acid 358 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:27,051 that will horribly burn everything in it's path. 359 00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:30,387 Now, that's real acid, so I want to see goggles, people. 360 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,098 Real acid? 361 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,226 Okay, roll film... 362 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,020 tip the acid vats... 363 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,064 and action! 364 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,318 (grunting) 365 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:47,529 Only Fallout Boy can save me now. 366 00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:50,824 Where's Fallout Boy? 367 00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:51,909 (gasps) 368 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,913 Fallout Boy! 369 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,331 Uh-oh. 370 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:04,546 My eyes! 371 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,465 The goggles do nothing! 372 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:08,092 (crashing) 373 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:12,262 Ah, ooh! Ah! 374 00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,478 Where in the hell is Milhouse? 375 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:22,773 That one shot cost us a million dollars. 376 00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,692 KRUSTY: Where's the producer? 377 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:27,361 I want to talk about this coffee. 378 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:46,964 Milhouse! 379 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:48,298 Milhouse! 380 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:49,466 -Milhouse! -Milhouse! 381 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,593 Milhouse! 382 00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:55,472 Thanks to modern editing techniques, 383 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,891 we can use existing footage to complete the film 384 00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:58,851 without Milhouse. 385 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,520 Watch. 386 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:07,568 It looks like we're in trouble, Fallout Boy. 387 00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:10,279 Jiminy jillikers, Radioactive Man. 388 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:12,114 We'll have to fight our way out. 389 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:13,157 Are you ready? 390 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,658 Yes. 391 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,326 (grunting and groaning) 392 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,829 Seamless, huh? 393 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,332 -You're fired. -And with good cause. 394 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:23,542 (sniffing) 395 00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:24,585 (growling) 396 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:25,586 Go! 397 00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:29,131 Okay. We can all stop worrying now. 398 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,507 These dogs never fail. 399 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,968 But... will they just find Milhouse 400 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,887 or will they find him and kill him? 401 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:38,348 Well, they'll-- When they find him, they'll, um... 402 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,642 (mumbling) 403 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,395 Uh, excuse me. 404 00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:45,147 You didn't answer me. You just trailed off. 405 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,191 Yeah. 406 00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:49,109 Yeah, I did kind of trail off there, didn't I? 407 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,570 I know Milhouse. 408 00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:53,572 I'll just check all his old haunts. 409 00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,036 Have you seen Milhouse? 410 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,120 No. Now, go away. 411 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:01,205 We're racing for the title 412 00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:02,164 of the champion of the universe. 413 00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:06,460 All right. 414 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:15,344 Yo, Dr. S., have you seen Milhouse today? 415 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:16,345 No. 416 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:17,346 Okay. Thanks. 417 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,722 Wait. Did you know 418 00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,015 that there's a direct correlation 419 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,225 between the decline of Spirograph 420 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:22,518 and the rise in gang activity? 421 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:23,644 -Think about it. -I will. 422 00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:25,437 No, you won't. 423 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,401 The only place left is the tree house. 424 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:36,698 Aha! 425 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,367 Stay away from me, Bart. 426 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,035 I mean it. I'm not going back. 427 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,079 I'm not cut out to be a star. 428 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:44,206 But, Milhouse, being a star 429 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:46,208 is every patriotic American's dream. 430 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,251 Not mine. 431 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,836 It's a sham, Bart. 432 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,672 You get up on that movie screen pretending to be a hero 433 00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,590 but you're not. 434 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:56,718 The real heroes are out there, toiling day and night 435 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,345 on more important things. 436 00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:00,013 Television. 437 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:03,100 No. Curing heart disease and wiping out world hunger. 438 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:06,353 But, Milhouse, they haven't cured anything. 439 00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:08,564 Heart disease and world hunger are still rampant. 440 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:11,525 Those do-gooders are all a bunch of pitiful losers, 441 00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:13,110 every last one of them. 442 00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,112 You want results, you have to go 443 00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:17,364 to the Schwarzeneggers, the Stallones, 444 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,074 and to a lesser extent, the Van Dammes. 445 00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:24,955 BOTH: Mickey Rooney! 446 00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:26,582 Hi, Milhouse. 447 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,083 The studio sent me to talk to you 448 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,252 being a former child star myself 449 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:32,796 and the number-one box office draw 450 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,507 from 1939 through 1940. 451 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,593 Wow, spanning two decades. 452 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,094 How'd you find us? 453 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,680 They tapped your tree house phone. 454 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:44,349 (radio signal beeping) 455 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:47,102 Milhouse, listen, you can't quit this movie. 456 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,645 I've seen your work. 457 00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,689 It's good, very, very good. 458 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,482 Van Johnson good. 459 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:54,151 I know I'm good. 460 00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:56,069 Movie stardom is just so hollow. 461 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,821 Hollow?! 462 00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,449 The only thing in show business that's hollow 463 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,783 is the music industry. 464 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,202 Come on, Milhouse. 465 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,579 You have to do this, if not for yourself 466 00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,414 then for the movie-going public 467 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,208 and for the foreign markets 468 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,877 that are more important than ever nowadays, 469 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:17,549 and finally, for me, the Mickster. 470 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:18,675 No. 471 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,344 All right. I tried. 472 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:21,595 Fortunately, we have 473 00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,847 a perfectly good Fallout Boy right here. 474 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,644 Jiminy jillikers. Jiminy jillikers. 475 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:29,811 Jiminy jillikers. 476 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,897 We're shutting down production. 477 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:34,608 Yeah. Well, we only have $1,000 left, anyway. 478 00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:36,443 Uh, there's a $1,000 leaving-town tax. 479 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,740 MICKEY: Well, I hope you're all satisfied. 480 00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:44,117 You bankrupted a bunch of naive movie folks. 481 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:47,579 Folks from Hollywood, where values are different. 482 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,665 They weren't thinking about the money. 483 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,875 They just wanted to tell a story, 484 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,961 a story about a radioactive man 485 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,671 and you slick small-towners 486 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,464 took them for all they were worth. 487 00:20:57,547 --> 00:21:00,968 (whimpers) 488 00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,844 Should we give them some of their money back? 489 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:04,638 No. 490 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,183 Hurry, Mr. Rooney. 491 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,184 We've got a disenchanted little girl 492 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,644 in a Jell-O pudding commercial. 493 00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:11,937 I could play that. 494 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,400 So, Milhouse, it must be a little tough 495 00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:17,693 giving up all that glamour 496 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,027 and coming back to school, huh? 497 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,947 Quiet. Maybe I can get my citizenship. 498 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,201 (cheering) 499 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,038 We know you don't have any more money left 500 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,581 but that doesn't matter. 501 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:34,001 Just take whatever you need from our boutiques 502 00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,961 until you can get back on your feet. 503 00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,046 Thank God we're back in Hollywood 504 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,465 where people treat each other right. 505 00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:43,552 ♪ Lean on me ♪ 506 00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:46,930 ♪ When you're not strong ♪ 507 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:50,017 ♪ And I'll be your friend ♪ 508 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:54,896 ♪ I'll help you carry on ♪ 509 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:59,609 {\an8}♪ For it won't be long ♪ 510 00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:01,486 {\an8}♪ Till I'm gonna need... ♪ 511 00:22:02,362 --> 00:22:04,323 ♪♪ 512 00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,363 Shh! 513 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:49,826 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.