1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,131 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,677 (bell ringing) 3 00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:15,932 D'oh! 4 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:16,891 -Ahh! -(tires screech) 5 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:34,617 {\an8}-GRANDPA: Are we there yet? -HOMER: No. 6 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,744 {\an8}-Are we there yet? -No. 7 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,704 {\an8}-Are we there yet? -No. 8 00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:39,205 {\an8}Where are we going? 9 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:42,167 {\an8}We're going to Storytown Village, Grandpa. 10 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,294 {\an8}It's an amusement park for babies. 11 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:47,756 {\an8}Oh, just leave me in the car with the window open a crack. 12 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,174 {\an8}That's the plan. 13 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:50,675 {\an8}I think it's nice we're doing something 14 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,594 {\an8}Maggie will enjoy for once. 15 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,679 {\an8}Besides, I'm sure Storytown Village 16 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,556 {\an8}is also fun for everyone-- 17 00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:59,934 {\an8}From eight to... God only knows. 18 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,270 {\an8}(all groaning) 19 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,568 {\an8}(knocking) 20 00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:13,031 {\an8}Come out, come out, or I'll blow your house in. 21 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:16,367 {\an8}ALL: Not by the hairs of our chinny chin chin. 22 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,535 {\an8}What a load of crappy crap crap. 23 00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:18,745 {\an8}Quiet, boy. 24 00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:20,246 {\an8}I have a feeling some bad stuff 25 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,956 {\an8}is about to go down. 26 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,750 {\an8}This is where the wolf blows down the pigs' house. 27 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:26,544 {\an8}He blows all right. He blows big time. 28 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:29,297 {\an8}That's it, honey. Get into the spirit. 29 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:30,590 {\an8}(inhaling) 30 00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:31,549 {\an8}(soft puff) 31 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,847 {\an8}Aw, it was good, but not great. 32 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:43,103 Somebody's been sleeping in my bed. 33 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:46,481 (distorted) Somebody's been sleeping in my bed. 34 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:49,776 Somebody's been sleeping in my bed. 35 00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:51,152 Well, I'm sorry. 36 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,238 But it was 150 degrees in the car. 37 00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,036 ♪ La, la, la, la, la La la la ♪ 38 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,122 ♪ La, la, la, la, la La la la ♪ 39 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,085 So long, suck-- Aah! 40 00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,262 (cheering) 41 00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:24,769 Come on. Eat the can. 42 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,437 Come on. 43 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,772 You're supposed to feed them pellets 44 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,190 from the machine over there. 45 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,533 Oh, my. 46 00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:49,127 ALL: Aw... 47 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,588 ALL: Aw... 48 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,424 ALL: Aw... 49 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,051 HOMER: Out of the way, you. 50 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,178 Aw... 51 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,015 Oh, you are so cute. 52 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,933 Yes, you are, you are. 53 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,060 I just love you. 54 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,478 (chuckling) 55 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:10,023 See? It was a good idea to come here after all. 56 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,441 WOMAN (on PA): Attention, families. 57 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:12,901 This is Mother Goose. 58 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,153 The following cars have been broken into... 59 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:18,156 ♪♪ (fiddle) 60 00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:19,824 Hm? 61 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:23,286 FLANDERS: Allemande left and do-si-diddley-diddley-do 62 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:25,955 {\an8}swing your partner to-and-froodilly-fro. 63 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,379 MAN: All rightly, dittly! 64 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,631 Hey, Flanders. 65 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:37,008 ALL: Hidilly how, neighbor-eeno! 66 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:39,344 -Shut up. -ALL: Okaly dokaly. 67 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,512 So, Ned, you're having a family reunion 68 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,014 and you didn't invite me? 69 00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,475 Oh, gosh, Homer, this is strictly a Flanders affair. 70 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:48,019 I got family here from around the globe. 71 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:50,063 Here's Jose Flanders. 72 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,606 Buenos ding-dong-diddly-dias, señor. 73 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:54,025 And this is Lord Thistlewick Flanders. 74 00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:56,069 Charmed. 75 00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,863 Uh... A-googily-doogily. 76 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,240 (chuckles) 77 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,908 I can't believe you didn't invite me 78 00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:03,743 after I painted those cool stripes 79 00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,536 all over your car. 80 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,748 I know! I'll throw my own barbecue. 81 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,709 The greatest barbecue this town has ever seen 82 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,754 and I'll only invite who I want. 83 00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:16,005 That'll show you. 84 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,882 -Can I come? -Sure... D'oh! 85 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:20,343 This barbecue will be hard, thankless work 86 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,095 but I'm sure you're up to it, Marge. 87 00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,347 Well, it could be a good chance to get to know our neighbors 88 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,015 outside of a courtroom setting. 89 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,517 You know what you should serve, Marge? 90 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,310 More of these lamb chops. 91 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,895 These are the best ever. 92 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,022 Why, thank you, Homie. 93 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:36,901 You might say the extra ingredient is salt. 94 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,569 (loud chomping) 95 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,614 (sucking) 96 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,123 (bleating) Ple-e-ease, Lisa, 97 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:54,836 I thought you lo-o-oved me, lo-o-oved me. 98 00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:56,212 What's wrong, Lisa? 99 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,797 Didn't you get enough lamb chops? 100 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:58,965 I can't eat this. 101 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,883 I can't eat a poor little lamb. 102 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,343 Lisa, get a hold of yourself. 103 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,721 This is "lamb", Not "a lamb". 104 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,097 What's the difference between this lamb 105 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:07,724 and the one that kissed me? 106 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,058 This one spent two hours in the broiler. 107 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,894 Bart, sensible bites! 108 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,730 All right, Lisa, if you don't want lamb chops, 109 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,648 there's lots of other things I can make: 110 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,734 chicken breast, 111 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,110 rump roast, 112 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,237 hot dogs? 113 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,530 No, I can't! 114 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,032 I can't eat any of them! 115 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,074 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. 116 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,909 Lisa, honey, are you saying 117 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,245 you're never going to eat any animal again? 118 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,288 -What about bacon? -No. 119 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,331 -Ham? -No. 120 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,790 Pork chops? 121 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,293 Dad, those all come from the same animal. 122 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:39,839 Yeah, right, Lisa, a wonderful, magical animal. 123 00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:41,466 (chuckling) 124 00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:44,302 I think Lisa's right, Dad. Eating meat is bah-ah-ad. 125 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,972 Hey, that's my chop. 126 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:48,973 (both growling) 127 00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,735 My family just doesn't understand 128 00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:03,321 my newfound vegetarianism. 129 00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:04,906 Compared to them 130 00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:07,241 the public schools are a haven of enlightenment. 131 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,786 Okay, class. Time to dissect our worms. 132 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,120 ALL: Yay! 133 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,459 First, pin them down 134 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:18,169 so they don't fly up and hit you in the eye. 135 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:19,629 (muffled) Um, Miss Hoover? 136 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,047 Yes, Ralph, what is it? 137 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,424 My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. 138 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:24,801 Can I have a new one? 139 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,803 No, Ralph. There aren't any more. 140 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:29,347 Just try to sleep while the other children are learning. 141 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,099 Oh, boy, sleep. 142 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,558 That's where I'm a viking. 143 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,354 LAMB'S VOICE: Lisa, 144 00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:39,148 what did I ever do to y-y-you? 145 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,775 Why does it talk like a lamb? 146 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:47,782 (whimpering) 147 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:52,537 Uh, Miss Hoover, I don't think I can dissect an animal. 148 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,038 I think it's wrong. 149 00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,791 Okay, Lisa. I respect your moral objection. 150 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,385 Um, excuse me. 151 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,887 Isn't there anything here that doesn't have meat in it? 152 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,389 Possibly the meat loaf. 153 00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:13,182 Well, I believe you're required to provide 154 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,684 a vegetarian alternative. 155 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:21,482 Yum. It's rich in bunnly goodness. 156 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,610 Do you remember when you lost your passion for this work? 157 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,739 (buzzing) 158 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,575 Uh-oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. 159 00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,243 The students are overstimulated. 160 00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:34,704 Willie, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms. 161 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:37,290 I warned you! Didn't I warn you? 162 00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:40,668 That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself. 163 00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:43,087 ♪ The Itchy & Scratchy show ♪ 164 00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:56,350 Hee hee hee. 165 00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:21,000 (laughing) 166 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:25,379 I never realized before, 167 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,131 but some "Itchy & Scratchy" cartoons 168 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,092 send the message that violence against animals is funny. 169 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,344 Say what? 170 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,929 Cartoons don't have messages, Lisa. 171 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,722 They're just a bunch of hilarious stuff 172 00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:36,349 you know, like people getting hurt and stuff-- 173 00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:37,391 Stuff like that. Oh! 174 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,060 Look, kids. 175 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:41,145 I just got my party invitations back from the printer's. 176 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,899 (reading) 177 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,364 -What's that extra "B" For? -That's a typo. 178 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,865 Dad, can't you have some other kind of party-- 179 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,784 one where you don't serve meat? 180 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,245 But all normal people love meat. 181 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,372 If I went to a barbecue and there was no meat 182 00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:02,416 I would say, "Yo, goober, where's the meat?" 183 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,460 I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. 184 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,379 You don't win friends with salad. 185 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,130 (conga beat) ♪ You don't win friends with salad ♪ 186 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,715 ♪ You don't win friends with salad ♪ 187 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,342 ♪ You don't win friends with salad ♪ 188 00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:13,344 ♪ You don't win friends with salad ♪ 189 00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,096 ♪ You don't win friends with salad ♪ 190 00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:16,847 ♪ You don't win friends with salad ♪ 191 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,599 ♪ You don't win friends with salad ♪ 192 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,518 ♪ You don't win friends with salad ♪ 193 00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,353 ♪ You don't win friends with salad ♪ 194 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:23,479 Mom! 195 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,772 I didn't mean to take sides. 196 00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:25,982 I just got caught up in the rhythm. 197 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,608 Good morning, class. 198 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:30,236 A certain agitator-- 199 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:33,322 for privacy's sake, let's call her Lisa S. 200 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,491 No, that's too obvious. 201 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,035 Let's say L. Simpson-- 202 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,245 has raised questions 203 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:40,913 about certain school policies. 204 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,249 So in the interest of creating an open dialogue, 205 00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:44,917 sit silently and watch this film. 206 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,133 Nothing beats a stroll in cattle country. 207 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,846 Hi. I'm Troy McClure. 208 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,223 You may remember me from such educational films as 209 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,018 "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun!" 210 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,770 And "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer." 211 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,063 BOY: Mr. McClure? 212 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,732 -Oh, Hello, Bobby. -Jimmy. 213 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,609 I'm curious as to how meat 214 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,319 gets from the ranch to my stomach. 215 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,404 Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, Jimmy. 216 00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,156 You just asked a mouthful. 217 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:18,367 It all starts here in the high-density feed lot. 218 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,286 Then when the cattle are just right... 219 00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,455 Mmm... 220 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:24,457 It's time for them to graduate 221 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,626 from Bovine University. 222 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,377 (buzzer) 223 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,257 Come on, Jimmy. 224 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:34,383 Let's take a peek at the killing floor. 225 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,968 (gasps) 226 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,094 Don't let the name throw you, Jimmy. 227 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,971 It's not really a floor. 228 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,723 It's more of a steel grating that allows material 229 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,517 to sluice through so it can be collected and exported. 230 00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:47,480 (cows screaming) 231 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,658 Getting hungry, Jimmy? 232 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:03,454 Uh, Mr. McClure, I have a crazy friend 233 00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:05,665 who says it's wrong to eat meat. 234 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,291 Is he crazy? 235 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,502 No, just ignorant. 236 00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:10,961 You see, your crazy friend 237 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,296 never heard of the "food chain". 238 00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:15,549 Just ask this scientician. 239 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:16,759 Um... 240 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,803 He'll tell you that in nature 241 00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:21,263 one creature invariably eats another to survive. 242 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,265 (roaring) 243 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,017 (eagle screeches, sheep bleats) 244 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,018 (growls) 245 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,563 Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. 246 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,107 If a cow ever got the chance 247 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,900 he'd eat you and everyone you care about. 248 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:41,325 Wow, Mr. McClure, I was a grade-A moron 249 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,077 to ever question eating meat. 250 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,038 Yes, you were, Jimmy. 251 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,748 Yes, you were. 252 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,834 Ow. You're hurting me. 253 00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:52,461 (mooing) 254 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,673 They can't seriously expect us to swallow that tripe. 255 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:58,551 Now, as a special treat courtesy of our friends at the Meat Council, 256 00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,219 please help yourselves to this tripe. 257 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:02,054 (cheering) 258 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,016 Stop it! Stop it! 259 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,101 Don't you realize you've just been brainwashed 260 00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:08,936 by corporate propaganda? 261 00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:13,107 Apparently my crazy friend here hasn't heard of the food chain. 262 00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:16,527 Yeah, Lisa's a grade-A moron. 263 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:20,072 When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University. 264 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:25,661 Hi, Homer. 265 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,496 Thanks for inviting me to your barbecue. 266 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,458 Wow, Barney, you brought a whole beer keg. 267 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:31,876 Yeah, where can I fill it up? 268 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,286 Wait, Dad. 269 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,413 Good news, everyone. You don't have to eat meat. 270 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,665 I made enough gazpacho for all. 271 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:12,958 (all murmuring) 272 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,335 What is that anyway? 273 00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:17,505 It's tomato soup served ice cold. 274 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:21,634 (laughing) 275 00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:22,968 BARNEY: Go back to Russia. 276 00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:37,483 Ah, diagnosis: Delicious. 277 00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:39,693 I've got the prescription for you, doctor. 278 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:42,112 Another hot beef injection. 279 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,405 (laughing) 280 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,494 Hey, Homer, wing me another one of them, uh... 281 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:50,663 burgers, would you? 282 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:54,375 Can't quite seem to... stand up under my own power anymore. 283 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,252 One whopper for the copper. 284 00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,088 Can I have a burger, Dad? 285 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,631 Here you go! 286 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,967 It's bad enough they're all eating meat. 287 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:05,469 They don't have to rub it in my face. 288 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:07,763 Ah! 289 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,517 Okay, everybody, 290 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,727 it's the moment you've all been waiting for... 291 00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:16,438 the pig de resistance. 292 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,773 ALL: Ooh! 293 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,233 Ah! 294 00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:21,193 (laughing) 295 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,236 Look at his nose. 296 00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:23,571 Congratulations, Homer. 297 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,739 Your Q's a huge success. 298 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:29,076 A toast to the host who can boast the most roast. 299 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,161 (chuckles) Thanks, Flanders. 300 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:34,790 I have to agree that everything certainly-- 301 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:35,916 Huh? 302 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,084 (gasping) 303 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,295 Bart, no! 304 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,296 What? 305 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:41,589 Sorry. Force of habit. 306 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,716 Lisa, no! 307 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,137 Ah! Oh! 308 00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:56,770 (groaning) 309 00:14:58,105 --> 00:14:59,356 It's just a little dirty. 310 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,524 It's still good. It's still good. 311 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:01,650 (honking) 312 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,155 It's just a little slimy. 313 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,573 It's still good. It's still good. 314 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,835 It's just a little airborne. 315 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,170 It's still good. It's still good. 316 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,671 -It's gone. -I know. 317 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,924 You know, Smithers, I think I'll donate 318 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:28,385 a million dollars to the local orphanage... 319 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,595 when pigs fly. 320 00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:31,388 (both laughing) 321 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:32,556 That's a good one. 322 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,769 Will you be donating that million dollars now, sir? 323 00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:38,979 No, I'd still prefer not. 324 00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,529 Give it up, Dad-- Piggy ain't coming back. 325 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,575 Lisa, you ruined my barbecue. 326 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,911 I demand you apologize this second. 327 00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,704 I'm never ever apologizing 328 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,539 because I was standing up for a just cause 329 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,708 and you were wrong, wrong, wrong! 330 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,670 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to my room. 331 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:03,921 That's it! Go to your room! 332 00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:08,842 Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, 333 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:11,512 would you please ask her to pass me the syrup? 334 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:14,223 Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa. 335 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,892 Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup 336 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,728 if it won't be used on any meat product. 337 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,188 You dunking your sausages in that syrup, homeboy? 338 00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:23,524 Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink 339 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,693 a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. 340 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,860 Tell him yourself. 341 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,737 You're ignoring Lisa, not Bart. 342 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,739 Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out. 343 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,533 Homer, you're not not talking to me 344 00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:34,326 and secondly, I heard what you said. 345 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,453 Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case. 346 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,330 Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to. 347 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,665 Bart, go to your room. 348 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,291 Why don't you just eat him, Dad? 349 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:44,336 I don't need any serving suggestions from you 350 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,338 you barbecue-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all. 351 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:47,631 That's it! 352 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:49,550 I can't live in a house 353 00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:51,260 with this prehistoric carnivore! 354 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,137 I am out of here! 355 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,808 That's it! Go to your room! 356 00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,854 Look, it's Mrs. Potato head. 357 00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:04,273 She has a head made out of lettuce. 358 00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,066 (both laughing) 359 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,527 I can't believe I used to go out with you. 360 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,654 Are you gonna marry a carrot, Lisa? 361 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:13,991 Yes, I'm gonna marry a carrot. 362 00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:15,409 She admitted it. 363 00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,369 She admitted she's gonna marry a carrot. 364 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,038 I can't believe it. 365 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:36,722 ...your windows. 366 00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:38,724 Mmm! The next-- 367 00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,022 The whole world wants me to eat meat. 368 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,648 I can't fight it anymore. 369 00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,198 (gasping) 370 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,245 (gulps) 371 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,831 There! Is everybody happy now?! 372 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,667 I take it from you're yelling that you like my tofu dogs. 373 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,669 -Tofu? -Oh, yes. 374 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,004 No meat whatsoever, 375 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,006 and only thrice the fat of a normal hot dog. 376 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,300 I made the switch and nobody noticed. 377 00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:14,510 But why, Apu? 378 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,053 Because I'm a vegetarian. 379 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,013 Haven't you ever seen my T-shirt? 380 00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,725 That's cute. 381 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,019 Here, let me show you something, Lisa. 382 00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,359 Wow. A secret staircase. 383 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:33,195 But what do you do if somebody wants a non-alcoholic beer? 384 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,196 You know, it's never come up. 385 00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:43,288 LISA: Oh, Apu, it's beautiful. 386 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,957 Yes, this is where I come 387 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,583 when I need some refuge from the modern world 388 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:50,504 or when I want to see drive-in movies for free. 389 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:53,382 I know it is not easy to be a vegetarian, Lisa. 390 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,050 {\an8}That's why I ran away from home. 391 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,718 What? She's leaving home? 392 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,597 Wow. Paul McCartney. 393 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,599 I read about you in history class 394 00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:03,934 but where's your wife, Linda? 395 00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,227 Right here, Lisa. 396 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,937 Whenever we're in Springfield, 397 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,981 we like to hang out in Apu's garden in the shade. 398 00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,899 We met him in India years ago, 399 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,359 during the Maharishi days. 400 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:15,028 Back then, I was known as the fifth Beatle. 401 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,530 Sure you were, Apu. 402 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:17,656 You know what, Lisa? 403 00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:19,908 Paul and Linda are vegetarians too. 404 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:23,287 In fact, Linda has her own line of vegetarian entrees. 405 00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,123 {\an8}Apu, I'm sure the last thing they want to talk about is-- 406 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:27,416 We weren't satisfied with the other 407 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,168 vegetarian meals on the market. 408 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,627 You'd be surprised how often 409 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,629 you'd find a big hunk of pork in them. 410 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:33,672 Ew. 411 00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:34,798 Linda and I both feel strongly 412 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:36,508 about animal rights. 413 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,720 In fact, if you play "Maybe I'm Amazed" backwards, 414 00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:40,804 you'll hear a recipe 415 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,723 for a really ripping lentil soup. 416 00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:44,474 When will all those fools learn 417 00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,185 that you can be perfectly healthy 418 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:49,271 simply eating vegetables, fruits, grains, and cheese? 419 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:50,981 Ooh! Cheese. 420 00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:53,025 You don't eat cheese, Apu? 421 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:56,862 No, I don't eat any food that comes from an animal. 422 00:19:56,945 --> 00:20:00,490 {\an8}Oh, then you must think I'm a monster. 423 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,201 Yes, indeed, I do think that. 424 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,453 But I learned long ago, Lisa, 425 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:05,746 to tolerate others 426 00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:07,581 rather than forcing my beliefs on them. 427 00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:09,041 You know, you can influence people 428 00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:10,542 without badgering them always. 429 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,378 It's like Paul's song, "Live and Let Live." 430 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,047 Actually, it was "Live and Let Die." 431 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:17,299 Whatever, whatever, it had a good rhythm. 432 00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:19,635 I guess I have been pretty hard on a lot of people, 433 00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,720 especially my dad. 434 00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:22,763 Thanks, you guys. 435 00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:24,389 Lisa, before you go, 436 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:25,807 would you like to hear a song? 437 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,559 Wow! That'd be great! 438 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,562 Okay. Take it, Apu. 439 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:34,233 ♪ I'm Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club, man ♪ 440 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:37,152 ♪ I hope I will enjoy my show... ♪ 441 00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:44,701 Lisa! 442 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:46,787 Lisa! 443 00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:51,166 Lisa! Come back before everyone finds out 444 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,960 what a horrible father I am. 445 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:55,170 Hi, Dad. Looking for me? 446 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,880 I don't know. Are you looking for me? 447 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,465 I don't know. 448 00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:01,426 Oh, Lisa... I was looking for you. 449 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,428 I wanted to apologize. 450 00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,305 I don't know exactly what went wrong 451 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:06,890 but I know it's always my fault. 452 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:08,433 Actually, Dad, this time, I was wrong... 453 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:09,434 (gasps) 454 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:11,186 -Too. -Oh. 455 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,604 {\an8}While I was gone, I got some really good advice 456 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,106 {\an8}from Paul and Linda McCartney. 457 00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:17,442 Rock stars-- Is there anything they don't know? 458 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,695 {\an8}I still stand by my beliefs 459 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,239 {\an8}but I can't defend what I did. 460 00:21:22,322 --> 00:21:24,700 I'm sorry I messed up your barbecue. 461 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,785 I understand, honey. 462 00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:29,121 I used to believe in things when I was a kid. 463 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,333 Come on, I'll give you a piggyback ride-- 464 00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:35,711 Whoops, I mean a veggie-back ride home. 465 00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:37,129 Come on. 466 00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:39,298 (both giggling) 467 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:44,720 ♪ Baby, I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time ♪ 468 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:48,223 ♪ And maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you ♪ 469 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:56,356 {\an8}♪ Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time ♪ 470 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,526 {\an8}♪ You hung me on the line ♪ 471 00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:03,739 {\an8}♪ Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you ♪ 472 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:06,616 {\an8}(McCartney speaking backwards) 473 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:09,828 {\an8}♪ Baby, I'm a man, maybe, I'm a lonely man ♪ 474 00:22:09,911 --> 00:22:11,705 {\an8}♪ Who's in the middle of something ♪ 475 00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:13,457 {\an8}(McCartney speaking backwards) 476 00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:15,584 {\an8}♪ That he doesn't really understand ♪ 477 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:18,670 {\an8}(McCartney speaking backwards) 478 00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:20,672 {\an8}♪ Baby, I'm a man, and maybe ♪ 479 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:24,176 {\an8}♪ You're the only woman who could ever help me ♪ 480 00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:28,055 {\an8}♪ Baby, won't you help me to understand? ♪ 481 00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:32,184 {\an8}♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 482 00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:35,395 {\an8}(McCartney speaking backwards) 483 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:48,992 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.