1 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,922 {\an8}ANNOUNCER: Live from the Springfield Civic Auditorium, 2 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,551 it's "The Simpsons" 138th episode spectacular! 3 00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,469 (applause and cheers) 4 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:20,228 Hello. I'm Troy McClure. 5 00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:23,356 You may remember me from such Fox network specials 6 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,316 as Alien Nose Job, 7 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,820 and five fabulous weeks of the Chevy Chase Show. 8 00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,864 Tonight we're here to honor 9 00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:33,575 America's favorite non-prehistoric cartoon family. 10 00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:36,244 You'll see long-lost footage, 11 00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,079 -never-before-seen material -(belches) 12 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,206 from your favorite episodes-- 13 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:44,169 old favorites you can't see in syndication. 14 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,129 So join me, won't you, 15 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:49,799 for The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular! 16 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,471 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 17 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,022 (chalk screeching) 18 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,233 (bell ringing) 19 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,486 (tires screeching) 20 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:12,906 D'oh! 21 00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,200 -(screams) -(tires screech) 22 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,039 ♪♪ 23 00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:33,426 (snarling) 24 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,751 (elephants trumpeting) 25 00:02:20,765 --> 00:02:22,934 {\an8}The Simpsons began as the brainchild 26 00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:24,811 {\an8}of cartoonist Matt Groening-- 27 00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:27,939 {\an8}the already famous creator of such comics 28 00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:30,900 {\an8}as Damnation, Johnny Reb, 29 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,027 and True Murder Stories. 30 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:36,489 In 1987, Groening teamed up with award-winning producers 31 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:40,785 {\an8}James L. Rooks and Sam Simon. 32 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,538 {\an8}And what better place to premiere their creation 33 00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:45,540 {\an8}than on The Tracey Ullman Show-- 34 00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:48,126 {\an8}the nation's showcase for psychiatrist jokes 35 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,044 {\an8}and musical comedy numbers. 36 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:55,800 {\an8}On April 19, 1987, America first met the Simpsons. 37 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,803 Well, good night, son. 38 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,222 -Um, Dad? -Yeah? 39 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:05,226 What is the mind? Is it just a system of impulses, 40 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:08,438 or is it something tangible? 41 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,981 Relax. 42 00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,399 What is mind? 43 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:12,650 No matter. 44 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:13,860 What is matter? 45 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:14,861 Never mind. 46 00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:15,904 (laughs) 47 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,530 Thanks, Dad. 48 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:18,865 Good night, son. 49 00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,825 (switch clicks) 50 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,536 Good night, Lisa. 51 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,829 Good night, Mom. 52 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,456 Sweet dreams. 53 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:27,999 Thanks, Mom. 54 00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,584 Sleep tight. 55 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:30,835 I will, Mom. 56 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,421 Don't let the bedbugs bite. 57 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:36,799 -(switch clicks) -Bedbugs? 58 00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:41,471 ♪ Rock-a-bye baby ♪ 59 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,724 -♪ In the treetop ♪ -(wind blowing) 60 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:47,477 ♪ When the wind blows ♪ 61 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,730 ♪ The cradle will rock ♪ 62 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:53,608 ♪ When the bough breaks ♪ 63 00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:56,611 ♪ The cradle will fall ♪ 64 00:03:56,694 --> 00:04:00,907 ♪ And down will come baby ♪ 65 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:04,035 ♪ Cradle and all ♪ 66 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,748 MARGE: Sweet dreams. 67 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,917 -(switch clicks) -(Maggie sucking on pacifier) 68 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:16,506 We may be the best parents in the world. 69 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,383 Hmm. Good night, dear. 70 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:19,801 Good night. 71 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,345 (footsteps running) 72 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:24,305 (all talking at once) 73 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,230 All right. Climb in. 74 00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:34,857 There's nothing to worry about. 75 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,776 Now everyone go to sleep. 76 00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:38,861 Good night. 77 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:42,865 -(switch clicks) -(Maggie sucking on pacifier) 78 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,284 MAGGIE: Good night. 79 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:47,287 (laughs) 80 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,872 They haven't changed a bit, have they? 81 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:53,584 As the weeks went on, so did the cartoons. 82 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:57,130 Fresh chocolate chip cookies. 83 00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:59,424 Oh! Don't touch those yet. 84 00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:01,551 They're very, very hot. 85 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:02,677 (door closes) 86 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,679 Aha. No one's around. 87 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:06,848 The perfect crime. 88 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,142 Yeow! 89 00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,644 (sniffing) 90 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,439 -Do I smell cookies? -(gasps) 91 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:17,817 -Where's the cookies? -They're all gone-- the whole batch. 92 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,819 Somebody ate those cookies. 93 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,863 Did you eat the cookies, Maggie? 94 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,993 HOMER: I think she's trying to tell us something. 95 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,453 Go on, Maggie. 96 00:05:28,536 --> 00:05:29,454 Go on, Maggie. Go! Go! 97 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,458 (groaning) 98 00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:38,504 There's no perfect crime. (groaning) 99 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,006 (loud gulp) 100 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:42,633 I've got a great idea. 101 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,802 Let's play space patrol. 102 00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:48,556 I'll be Lissouie, the devil-may-care rocket pilot. 103 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:51,476 Maggie can be Maggina, your spunky sidekick. 104 00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,436 And you'll be... 105 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,646 Bartron, the evil robot 106 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,607 from Mars, gone berserk. 107 00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,192 (muffled shouting) 108 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:02,737 Do I understand you correctly, Bartron? 109 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,489 Do you wish me to release you 110 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:07,909 from the Helmet of Evil Thoughts with my enchanted space wand? 111 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,786 (muffled) Yes! Yes! Yes! 112 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,621 I will do it, Bartron, 113 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:15,792 but who knows what mysterious forces will be unleashed? 114 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:20,963 Oh, no. Inside, the evil Bartron is a horrible mutant boy. 115 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,132 LISA: We'll be safe here 116 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,718 till Mom and Dad, the evil overlords, 117 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,553 get home. 118 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,680 As wacky as those kids were, 119 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,433 they were no match for Captain Wacky, 120 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,810 later renamed Homer. 121 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:36,145 Wake up, everybody! 122 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,438 It's World War III! 123 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:38,731 (screaming) 124 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,067 Quick! Down to the fallout shelter. 125 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,610 The bombs are dropping. 126 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:46,572 (grunting) 127 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,409 Eighteen seconds. Hmm. 128 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,661 If this were really a nuclear war, 129 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:53,162 we'd all be dead meat by now. 130 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,082 Say, you're all shivering. 131 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,583 Are you cold or what? 132 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,877 HOMER: Bart! 133 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,004 Bart! 134 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,132 Time for your Sunday night bath, boy. 135 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,216 (coughs) 136 00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:07,176 Got to hide. 137 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:11,514 Bart! Huh? Where are you, boy? 138 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,307 (Bart belching) Oops! 139 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,809 Aha! 140 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,312 There you go! 141 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,898 Now, that's not so bad, is it? 142 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,275 (teeth chattering) 143 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,444 HOMER: Scrub good now. 144 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:28,156 Ahh... 145 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,907 (with French accent) Welcome to zee exotic world 146 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,161 of undersea explorer Bart Simpseau. 147 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:36,956 Come with Bart as he dive into zee briny deep, 148 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:40,251 searching for zee wily and elusive washcloth. 149 00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,253 Suddenly, without warning, 150 00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:45,465 zee brave boy get more than he bargain for. 151 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,133 (muffled) Help! Help! 152 00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:49,051 Help! 153 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,219 Help! 154 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,394 Clean as a whistle, Homer. 155 00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,896 (squeaking) 156 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,355 (angry growl) 157 00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:05,651 Maybe the drawings were a little crude, 158 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,320 but all the characters were there: 159 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,113 Itchy and Scratchy, 160 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,324 Grampa Simpson, 161 00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,868 and Krusty the Clown. 162 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,037 When we return, more classic moments. 163 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,706 And for the first time on TV, 164 00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:21,584 our private reel of Simpsons outtakes, 165 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:25,838 including the alternate endings to "Who shot Mr. Burns?" 166 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,341 (canned audience applause) 167 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,509 (exhales) 168 00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:48,611 {\an8}The cash register says "N.R.A. Forever"-- 169 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:51,739 {\an8}Just one of the hundreds of radical right-wing messages 170 00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:54,742 {\an8}inserted into every show by creator Matt Groening. 171 00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:56,744 (applause) 172 00:08:56,827 --> 00:09:00,122 Over the six years The Simpsons has been on the air, 173 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,375 we've received dozens of letters from fans 174 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,710 wanting to know more about the show. 175 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,712 Tonight, we'll answer some of your questions. 176 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,089 Professor Lawrence Pierce 177 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,049 of the University of Chicago writes: 178 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:13,302 "I think Homer gets stupider every year." 179 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,721 That's not a question, professor, 180 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,933 but we'll let the viewers judge for themselves. 181 00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:20,851 {\an8}(deep voice) Hello. 182 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,770 {\an8}My name is Mr. Burns. 183 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,855 {\an8}I believe you have a letter for me. 184 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,274 {\an8}Okay, Mr. Burns. 185 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,817 {\an8}Uh, what's your first name? 186 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,819 {\an8}I don't know. 187 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,904 {\an8}Well, Homer, maybe you can take some consolation 188 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,906 {\an8}in the fact that something you created 189 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,992 {\an8}is making so many people happy. 190 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,285 {\an8}Ooh, look at me! 191 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,495 {\an8}I'm making people happy! 192 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,456 {\an8}I'm the magical man from Happyland 193 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:46,419 {\an8}in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane. 194 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:50,548 By the way, I was being sarcastic. 195 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,091 Well, duh. 196 00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:56,887 {\an8}("The Flintstones" theme music playing) 197 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:57,888 {\an8}(bird cawing) 198 00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:00,474 {\an8}Yabba-dabba-do! 199 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,105 {\an8}♪ Simpson ♪ 200 00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:08,065 {\an8}♪ Homer Simpson ♪ 201 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:11,777 {\an8}♪ He's the greatest guy in history ♪ 202 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:13,279 {\an8}♪ From the ♪ 203 00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:15,281 {\an8}♪ Town of Springfield ♪ 204 00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:18,159 {\an8}♪ He's about to hit a chestnut tree ♪ 205 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,410 {\an8}(screams) 206 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,497 {\an8}Hey, guys, look what I smuggled aboard. 207 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,498 {\an8}Homer, no! 208 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,375 {\an8}Huh? 209 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,252 {\an8}They'll clog the instruments! 210 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,754 {\an8}Careful. They're ruffled. 211 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,881 {\an8}I'll take care of this. 212 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,760 {\an8}("Blue Danube" waltz playing) 213 00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:38,888 {\an8}(loud crunching in time to waltz's accents) 214 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:52,318 {\an8}Ah! 215 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,536 {\an8}Mmm. 216 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:03,829 {\an8}Bah! 217 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,206 {\an8}Ants! 218 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,166 {\an8}(whining) 219 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:12,963 {\an8}(grunts) 220 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:19,387 {\an8}No TV and no beer make Homer something-something. 221 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,888 {\an8}Go crazy? 222 00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:22,807 {\an8}Don't mind if I do! 223 00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,767 {\an8}(screaming and babbling) 224 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,895 {\an8}(hooting) 225 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,188 {\an8}(electric zipping) 226 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,189 {\an8}(whooping) 227 00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:31,941 {\an8}Dr. Linus Irvin 228 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,943 {\an8}of the Sloan-Kettering Memorial Institute writes: 229 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:36,195 {\an8}"How does Matt Groening find the time 230 00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:40,157 {\an8}to write and draw an entire Simpsons episode every week?" 231 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:43,577 {\an8}For the answer to this, we went straight to the source. 232 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,624 {\an8}Get out of my office! 233 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:49,750 {\an8}(static) 234 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,544 Of course, 235 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,295 what Matt meant to say, according to his attorneys, 236 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,381 {\an8}is that he couldn't possibly do it alone, 237 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,550 {\an8}and he insisted that we make time 238 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,343 {\an8}to acknowledge the hard work 239 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:02,471 {\an8}of everyone who makes the Simpsons possible. 240 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,474 {\an8}♪♪ 241 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:09,478 {\an8}Ambassador Henry Mwabwetumba of the Ivory Coast writes: 242 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,857 {\an8}"What is the real deal with Mr. Burns' assistant Smithers? 243 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,984 {\an8}You know what I'm talking about." 244 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,277 (sly chuckle) 245 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,237 Of course we do. 246 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,156 Preparations for your birthday have begun. 247 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,949 I won't get what I really want. 248 00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:23,993 No one does. 249 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:28,956 ♪ Happy birthday, Mr. Smithers ♪ 250 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,667 Hmm... 251 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,502 People like dogs, Mr. Burns. 252 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,130 Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. 253 00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:37,465 Think about it, Smithers. 254 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:38,883 If I came into your house 255 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,468 and started sniffing at your crotch 256 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,969 and slobbering all over your face, 257 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:43,471 what would you say? 258 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:45,306 Hmm. If you did it, sir? 259 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:48,058 -I'll print you out a copy. -Thanks. 260 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,394 Hello, Smithers. 261 00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:53,856 (halting cadence) You're quite good at turning me on. 262 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,650 Um... you probably should ignore that. 263 00:12:56,734 --> 00:13:00,446 I dreamed about her again last night, Smithers. 264 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:01,864 You know that dream where you're in bed 265 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,699 and they fly in through the window? 266 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,498 Ohh... 267 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,042 MCCLURE: As you can see, 268 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,752 the real deal with Wayland Smithers is 269 00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,295 that he's Mr. Burns' assistant. 270 00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,506 He's in his early 40s, is unmarried 271 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,841 and currently resides in Springfield. 272 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,176 Thanks for writing. 273 00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:23,886 We'll be right back. 274 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,596 {\an8}ANNOUNCER: Which popular Simpsons characters 275 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,932 {\an8}have died in the past year? 276 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,649 {\an8}If you said Bleeding Gums Murphy 277 00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,317 {\an8}and Dr. Marvin Monroe, 278 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,070 {\an8}you are wrong-- they were never popular. 279 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,988 Right about now, you're probably saying 280 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,574 "Troy, I've seen every Simpsons episode. 281 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,743 You can't show me anything new." 282 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,371 You've got some attitude, mister. 283 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:54,333 Besides, you're wrong because sometimes episodes run long 284 00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:55,835 and certain scenes never get aired. 285 00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:58,170 So fire up your V.C.R., 286 00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,005 because here, for the first time ever 287 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,216 are the cut-out classics. 288 00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:04,510 (projector whirring) 289 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,181 When Krusty the Clown got canceled, 290 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,267 he tried everything to stay on the air. 291 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,936 Here's what you didn't see. 292 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,437 {\an8}If you watch my show, 293 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,857 {\an8}I will send you this book featuring me 294 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,150 {\an8}in a variety of sexually explicit positions. 295 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:21,986 {\an8}What? Oh! Hey! 296 00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:24,363 {\an8}It's not really me! I used a stunt butt! 297 00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:28,659 Krusty, we're from the network. We have some bad news. 298 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:29,827 I'm afraid your show's been canceled. 299 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,413 Oh, I thought this would happen. 300 00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:34,290 I just hope you replace me with something 301 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:37,501 as educational and uplifting as I tried to be. 302 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,086 Actually, it's a hemorrhoid infomercial 303 00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,546 starring Claude Akins. 304 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,840 Can I play Hemorrhoid Sufferer Number One? 305 00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,675 Ooh! Oh, that hurts! 306 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:46,510 Oh! Oh, is there no relief? 307 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,178 I don't think so. 308 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,723 Well, how about one of the "after" guys? 309 00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:53,267 Ah! Oh, that's better. 310 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,185 I can ride a bike again! 311 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,730 -Sorry. -Ohh. 312 00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,232 {\an8}When Springfield legalized gambling, 313 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,610 {\an8}Homer became a blackjack dealer, 314 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:05,487 and comedy was in the cards. 315 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,865 Twenty. Your move, Mr. Bond. 316 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,701 I'll take a hit, dealer. 317 00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,412 Joker? You were supposed to take those out of the deck. 318 00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:15,331 Sorry. Here's another one. 319 00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,166 What is this card? 320 00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,084 "Rules for draw and stud poker"? 321 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,045 What a pity, Mr. Bond. 322 00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:22,880 What?! Well, it was Homer's fault. 323 00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,548 I didn't lose. I never lose. 324 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,508 Well, at least tell me the details 325 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,260 of your plot for world domination! 326 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,721 Ha ha ha! I'm not going to fall for that one again. 327 00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,097 MCCLURE: Earlier this year, 328 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,475 Homer's long-lost mother returned 329 00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:37,645 and so did a long-lost care package. 330 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:40,606 {\an8}(chewing loudly) 331 00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:42,733 {\an8}Homer, please. 332 00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:46,111 You don't have to wolf down that 25-year-old candy 333 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:47,571 just to make me happy. 334 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:51,075 But it won't make you unhappy, right? 335 00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:53,786 Hey! Space food sticks! 336 00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:57,373 Oh, I wish I had these on my space adventure. 337 00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:00,626 Did you know I was blasted into space two years ago, Mom? 338 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,544 Oh, sure. I read all about it. 339 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,255 I mean, it was national news. 340 00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:07,299 Do you still work for NASA? 341 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,468 No, I work at the nuclear power plant. 342 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:10,803 Oh, Homer. 343 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:12,721 Well, you'll be happy to know 344 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,390 I don't work very hard. 345 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:16,141 Actually, I'm bringing the plant down 346 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,560 from the inside. 347 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,355 MCCLURE: When Homer sold his soul for a doughnut, 348 00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:25,150 he found out that hell isn't all it's cracked up to be 349 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:28,529 in these never-before-broadcast scenes. 350 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:31,657 {\an8}(grunting) 351 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:34,994 (screaming) 352 00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:38,914 D'oh! 353 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,292 Hmm, lawyers, lawyers, lawyers... 354 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,336 Ooh, Lionel Hutz! 355 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:48,924 "Cases won in 30 minutes or your pizza's free." 356 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:52,636 I'd sell my soul for a Formula 1 racing car. 357 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,055 (chuckling) That can be arranged. 358 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,891 Changed my mind. Sorry. 359 00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,268 Cool. 360 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,978 Bart, stop pestering Satan. 361 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,897 Your Honor, we find that Homer Simpson's soul 362 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,525 is legally the property of Marge Simpson 363 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,485 -and not of the devil. -Oh... 364 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,987 (cheering) 365 00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:12,156 Woo-hoo! Oh! 366 00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:15,659 Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza. 367 00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:16,827 But we did win. 368 00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,412 That's okay. The box is empty. 369 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,708 If that's what they cut out, 370 00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,169 what they leave in must be pure gold! 371 00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:26,628 Let's watch some more 372 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,048 of those fabulous Simpsons outtakes. 373 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:33,552 Apu living with the Simpsons? It happened. 374 00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,387 And here's a scene you didn't see. 375 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,473 {\an8}I'm hoping you enjoy this movie. 376 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,809 {\an8}It made every Indian critic's top 400 list. 377 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,187 ♪ Love, love, love, love, love ♪ 378 00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:45,647 ♪ I'm in love with lovely Johnny ♪ 379 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,861 (speaking Hindi) 380 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,618 {\an8}This movie you rented sucks. 381 00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:00,079 No, it doesn't. It's funny. 382 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,830 Their clothes are different from my clothes. 383 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,415 (laughs) 384 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:04,875 Look at what they're wearing. 385 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,127 (laughing) 386 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:10,672 A few years back, Bart was adopted by Mr. Burns. 387 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:15,844 In this very special outtake, Homer attempts a reconciliation 388 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,721 {\an8}with his estranged son. 389 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,098 {\an8}Watch. 390 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,599 {\an8}Bart, you're coming home. 391 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,392 I want to stay here with Mr. Burns. 392 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,394 I suggest you leave immediately. 393 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,939 Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees 394 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:29,108 or the dogs with bees in their mouth 395 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:31,568 and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? 396 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:32,986 Well, go ahead! 397 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,488 Do your worst! 398 00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,115 My worst, eh? 399 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:39,409 Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons. 400 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,330 Come on, big boy! 401 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,332 Shake the butter off those buns! 402 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,001 (disco music playing) 403 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,754 ♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪ 404 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,381 (screams) 405 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,757 ♪ Shake your booty ♪ 406 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,677 Come on, girls. Shake, shake, shake. 407 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,095 Smithers, it's out of control. 408 00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:00,722 -I'll take him out, sir. -(gun cocks) 409 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:01,890 ♪ Shake your ♪ 410 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,684 (music stops) 411 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,271 ♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪ 412 00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:08,730 Shake, shake, shake. 413 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,566 (voice slowing down) Shake your... 414 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,151 His ass is going to blow! 415 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,570 (all screaming) 416 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,950 This past summer, all of America 417 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:24,538 was trying to solve the mystery of who shot Mr. Burns. 418 00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,748 Then they found out it was the baby. 419 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,208 (coughs) 420 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,002 To keep this bombshell secret, 421 00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:32,421 the producers animated several solutions 422 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,715 that were never intended to air. 423 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:40,012 {\an8}(groaning) 424 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:45,017 (groaning) 425 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,978 And to keep the show's animators, editors, staff, 426 00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:50,647 and hangers-on from leaking the solution, 427 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:53,150 two completely different endings were produced-- 428 00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,319 one real, one phony. 429 00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:58,363 Here's the ending you were never meant to see. 430 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,324 The one who shot me was... 431 00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,161 (screaming) 432 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,913 Wayland Smithers. 433 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,998 No! 434 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:08,999 Wait a minute. 435 00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:10,709 Yes. 436 00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:13,879 With the sun blocker in place and the town aghast, 437 00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,380 I was on top of the world. 438 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:18,592 So I wanted to kick up my heels and indulge 439 00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:19,635 my sweet tooth. 440 00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,553 I feel like celebrating. 441 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,515 Oh, it's you. 442 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:26,850 What are you so happy about? 443 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,101 (Burns gasps) 444 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,102 I see. 445 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,729 Smithers had thwarted 446 00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,856 my earlier attempt to take candy from a baby, 447 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,108 but with him out of the picture, 448 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:37,569 I was free to wallow in my own crapulence... 449 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,446 or so I thought. 450 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,698 At the last moment, 451 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,326 Smithers, drunk as a lemur, lurched out 452 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,702 of the darkness and fired. 453 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:46,912 (groaning) 454 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,288 That's right. 455 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,958 Right before I shot Jasper. 456 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,543 Hmm. I was busy that night. 457 00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:55,671 BURNS: Stricken, I lurched forth 458 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,422 in search of aid. 459 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,216 But, finding only slack-jawed gawkers, 460 00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,468 I gave up and collapsed on the sundial. 461 00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:04,221 Then, with your last ounce of strength, 462 00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:06,765 you pointed to "w" and "S." 463 00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:09,226 Wayland Smithers. 464 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:11,144 Well, I'm just relieved that Homer's safe, 465 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,814 and that you've recovered and we can get back to normal. 466 00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:15,482 Not exactly. 467 00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:18,652 Smithers, for attempting to kill me, 468 00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:22,030 I'm giving you a five percent pay cut. 469 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,950 Ohh! 470 00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:27,327 But, of course, for that ending to work, 471 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,497 you would have to ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence. 472 00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:34,459 (laughing) And that would be downright nutty. 473 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:38,380 Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans 474 00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:41,425 out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts. 475 00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:43,260 Who knows what adventures they'll have 476 00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:47,389 between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable? 477 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,725 I'm Troy McClure, and I'll leave you 478 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,727 with what we all came here to see-- 479 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,520 hardcore nudity! 480 00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:55,939 {\an8}(disco music playing) 481 00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,110 {\an8}♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪ 482 00:22:00,193 --> 00:22:01,737 {\an8}♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪ 483 00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,822 {\an8}♪ Shake your booty ♪ 484 00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:05,949 {\an8}♪ Shake your booty ♪ 485 00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:07,576 {\an8}♪ Oh, shake, shake, shake ♪ 486 00:22:08,952 --> 00:22:10,037 {\an8}♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪ 487 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,663 {\an8}♪ Shake your booty ♪ 488 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:14,458 {\an8}♪ Shake your booty ♪ 489 00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:17,377 {\an8}♪ Oh, you can ♪ 490 00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:18,879 {\an8}♪ You can do it ♪ 491 00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:21,298 {\an8}♪ Very well ♪ 492 00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,552 {\an8}♪ Your love ♪ 493 00:22:25,635 --> 00:22:26,887 {\an8}♪ Best in the world ♪ 494 00:22:26,970 --> 00:22:28,722 {\an8}♪ I can tell ♪ 495 00:22:31,808 --> 00:22:34,311 {\an8}♪ Oh, shake, shake, shake ♪ 496 00:22:34,394 --> 00:22:36,438 {\an8}♪ Shake, shake, shake ♪ 497 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,398 {\an8}♪ Shake your booty ♪ 498 00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:40,484 {\an8}♪ Shake your booty ♪ 499 00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:41,985 Shh. 500 00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,491 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.