1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,589 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:07,799 (tires screech) 3 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,719 D'oh! 4 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,595 -Aah! -(tires screech) 5 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:14,014 (yowls) 6 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,323 {\an8}Ah, spring break in Hong Kong. 7 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,868 {\an8}Custom-made suits at slave labor prices. 8 00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,454 {\an8}Good Lord! They've got this all wrong. 9 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,247 {\an8}(keypad beeping) 10 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:40,957 {\an8}Yes, this is Principal Seymour Skinner. 11 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,417 {\an8}How can I help you, Principal? 12 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:43,668 {\an8}I'm afraid there's 13 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,295 {\an8}some problems with my tickets. 14 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,756 {\an8}I asked for a center seat, not an aisle seat. 15 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:50,091 {\an8}I specifically requested not to have the kosher meal. 16 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,886 {\an8}And I booked the flight leaving Saturday morning, not Friday morning. 17 00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,638 {\an8}Okay, I've gone ahead and made those changes, 18 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,474 {\an8}and with the one-day advance purchase price, 19 00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,518 {\an8}it's just an extra $7,830. 20 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,313 {\an8}G.M. Chrysler! I can't afford that. 21 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,107 {\an8}(sighs) But I can't close the school a day early 22 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,818 {\an8}just to suit my vacation. 23 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,153 {\an8}Or can I? 24 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,113 {\an8}Think, Seymour, think. 25 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,033 "Go to Work With your Parents Day"? 26 00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:16,618 SKINNER (on P.A.): Yes, "Go to Work With your Parents Day." 27 00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,453 Tomorrow, you will learn by doing 28 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:20,580 and apply your knowledge of fractions and gym 29 00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,082 to real-world situations. 30 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,000 ♪ ...Itchy and Scratchy Show! ♪ 31 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,418 I still don't understand 32 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:27,587 why you get to stay home and watch Mom work. 33 00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,422 Because I've always been an advocate 34 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,257 of women in the workplace, Lis. 35 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:34,260 I can't help it if Mom's workplace contains our TV. 36 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,679 I'm honored, Bart. 37 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,890 And Lisa, you'll have a fine time at the plant with Dad. 38 00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:41,518 You've been interested in nuclear power for years. 39 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,187 I've signed numerous petitions to shut down that plant. 40 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:47,148 -Well, there you go. -Mom, you're blocking the TV. 41 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,192 If you need something to do, you can fill out my form. Here. 42 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,361 "Parent's occupation. 43 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:54,489 "Please note. Homemaker is not allowed 44 00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:56,616 "as it is not real work. 45 00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:59,035 That's why you don't get paid for it." Aw. 46 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,912 Bart can take my place at the plant. 47 00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:03,623 But he so wanted to see women in the workplace. 48 00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:06,626 Well, how about Aunt Patty and Aunt Selma at the D.M.V.? 49 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:08,878 -(gasping) -Of course, of course. 50 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,422 I would never ever have thought of that. 51 00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:12,966 (chuckles) 52 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:18,221 Some days, we don't let the line move at all. 53 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:20,181 We call those weekdays. 54 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:22,725 -(laughing) -Oh, good one. 55 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,311 Oh. Well, at least, I'm not stuck 56 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,230 at the cracker factory like Milhouse. 57 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:28,773 Wow! 58 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:36,948 -Ever wonder how crackers get salted? -Have I! 59 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:42,120 -Wow! -Crackers ho! 60 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:45,456 I never knew cracker production could be so exciting. 61 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,041 Where do they make those crackers 62 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,877 with the peanut butter already inside? 63 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,796 Ah, put this on and come with me, son. 64 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,423 Whoo! 65 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,094 Doughnut? 66 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,721 No, thanks. 67 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,639 Do you have any fruit? 68 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:02,724 This has purple stuff inside. 69 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,726 Purple is a fruit. 70 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:08,980 Uh... Oh, this a map of nuclear sites 71 00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:10,064 around the country. 72 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,941 As a safety inspector, 73 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,651 I'm responsible for changing most of these light bulbs. 74 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,112 Why are there so many burnt-out ones? 75 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,364 'Cause they won't hire an assistant. 76 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:23,286 Martin, here's ten dollars to invest in the futures market. 77 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:25,121 Soy! Soy! Soy! 78 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,123 ALL: Soy! Soy! Soy! 79 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,750 (bell ringing) 80 00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:31,085 Martin, you're up one million dollars. 81 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,462 Yes! 82 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,088 (buzzer sounds) 83 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,299 And now, you've lost all but $600. 84 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:37,800 You got greedy, Martin. 85 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,347 I'm sorry. I guess watching me 86 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:45,099 isn't any more exciting than being me. 87 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:47,477 Maybe we can make your job more fun. 88 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,686 What are those? 89 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,104 I don't know. 90 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,148 Well, what if we used our imaginations? 91 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,609 Houston, we have a problem. 92 00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:57,278 Homer 13 is spinning out of control. 93 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,198 I'm going after him. 94 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,742 (both laughing) 95 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:07,163 Boy, this is a lot more fun with a second person. 96 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,462 Okay, one more step. 97 00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,464 I've just got to go laminate your license. 98 00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,383 You'll get it in two or three weeks. 99 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:19,884 Hot damn! 100 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,512 No more sitting in the dirt at the drive-in. 101 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,306 Bart, I left the driver's license-making machine on. 102 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,849 Turn it off. 103 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,360 25 years old? 104 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,862 You're not 25 years old. 105 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,156 This I.D. Is completely fake. 106 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,075 Yes, you're right, Milhouse. 107 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,368 It is a fake. 108 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,370 Which makes it a fake I.D. 109 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:50,206 A fake I.D.? Cool! 110 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:54,544 And it's our ticket to the best spring break of our lives. 111 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,921 One adult and two children, please. 112 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:05,138 I can think of at least two things wrong with that title. 113 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:10,351 Twenty-five? Whoa, I 'm sorry, Mr. S. 114 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,562 But, you know, I gotta check everybody. 115 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:13,771 What, are you kidding? 116 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,773 I take it as a compliment. 117 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,358 Three beers, please. 118 00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:21,237 Hey, join the party. 119 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,196 (belches) 120 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,079 Spring break! 121 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,831 Yeah! 122 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:35,126 Well, when are we going to get rowdy? 123 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,379 Maybe when we find something decent to do with this I.D. 124 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,381 We could go rent a carpet shampooer. 125 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,134 (mechanical barking) 126 00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,802 Greetings, chums. 127 00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:47,680 Were your days at work as profitable as mine? 128 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,933 {\an8}I just had a sinful shopping spree at Wee World. 129 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,269 Well, we're having the best spring break of our lives, 130 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,146 and we don't need you around nerding it up. 131 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:57,482 That job is taken. 132 00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,650 But surely, I and my $600 133 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:02,320 could play some small part in your vacation fun. 134 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,030 Yeah, right. 135 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,907 Like there's any way to get some kicks 136 00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,117 with a big wad of cash and a license to drive-- 137 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,830 MILHOUSE: Wow! 138 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,918 (barking) 139 00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:19,045 Oh, boy, Flipsy! 140 00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:21,172 You and I are going on a road trip. 141 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:22,799 (cries out) 142 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,509 -(tires screech) -(electric window operating) 143 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,678 (barking continues) 144 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,347 NELSON: Ha-ha. 145 00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:37,063 Gentlemen, for our road trip, I have taken the liberty 146 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:40,274 of preparing an air-tight and utterly plausible alibi 147 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,902 for use on our parents. 148 00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,655 I've been selected to represent the school 149 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,157 at the National Grammar Rodeo at... 150 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,243 the Sheraton Hotel in Canada. 151 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,537 I've been selected to represent the school 152 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:55,832 at the National Grammar Rodeo at the Sheraton Hotel in Canada. 153 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,042 I'm going away for a week. See ya! 154 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,670 Eh! 155 00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,547 The National Grammar Rodeo? 156 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,173 I wish I were going. 157 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,341 Oh, wait, wait! I mean... 158 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,176 I wish I was going. 159 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,887 -Is that right, Bart? -(mumbles) I dunno. 160 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,723 It's not fair. I'm the best student in school. 161 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,184 How come I never heard about this competition? 162 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,687 Maybe because you are, as we say in Latin, 163 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,730 a dorkus malorkus. 164 00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,607 That's not Latin. 165 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,151 Mom, Bart 's faking it. 166 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,027 Oh, honey, you've had your glory. 167 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,529 Now it's Bart 's turn. 168 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,823 Hmm. 169 00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:34,245 (rock intro to "Radar Love") 170 00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:38,541 ♪ I been driving all night, my hand's wet on the wheel ♪ 171 00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:43,337 ♪ There's a voice in my head that drives my heel ♪ 172 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:47,758 ♪ It's my baby calling Says, I need you here ♪ 173 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:49,719 (radio tuning back and forth) 174 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:52,180 Oh, oh, oh, wait, oh, yeah, I wanted that... 175 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,431 Oh, wait, oh, oh. 176 00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,057 Ow! 177 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,351 Bart! Nelson hit me. 178 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,603 He sure did. 179 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,063 (gasps) 180 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,565 A cup holder! 181 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,693 Bart, we gotta stop and get a cup. 182 00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:06,903 Uh, Bart? 183 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,571 Cruise control, my good man. 184 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,072 Everybody all set back here? 185 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,574 Nelson, good to see you. 186 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,201 Martin, always a pleasure. 187 00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,705 (kids screaming) 188 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:25,129 Oh... Diablo Canyon 2. 189 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:28,549 Why can't you be more like Diablo Canyon 1? 190 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,593 (sighs) 191 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,056 (phone ringing) 192 00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:36,599 Hello. 193 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,601 Oh, Homie! Hello. 194 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,521 I can't remember the last time you called me from... 195 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,190 Oh. You want to speak to Lisa. 196 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,487 Hi, Lisa. How is your spring break going? 197 00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,405 I'm learning about owls. 198 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:54,492 Oh, owls, eh? So you probably wouldn't want 199 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,327 to spend another day at work with me... 200 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:57,912 Sure, I would. 201 00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:59,956 I can learn about owls this summer at bird camp. 202 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:05,795 (grunting) 203 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,505 (gasps) 204 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,840 We've arrived in the vast cornfields of Canada. 205 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,510 How much farther to the grammar rodeo? 206 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,136 Grammar rodeo! 207 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,806 We're going to a grammar rodeo? 208 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,724 We're not going to a grammar rodeo. 209 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,935 That was just an alibi, Milton. 210 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:22,562 -Martin. -Martin. 211 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,355 -Fellows? -OTHERS: What? 212 00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:25,773 Where are we going? 213 00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:30,653 Well, I realize it's trite, but we could tour 214 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,613 the bridges of Madison County. 215 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,575 {\an8}Hey, who has better vacation ideas than Triple-A? 216 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,410 {\an8}According to the publisher 217 00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:39,537 {\an8}of this triple-a guidebook-- no one. 218 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,123 I've always wanted to see Macon, Georgia. 219 00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,166 Wait, how about a fair? 220 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,793 Not just a county fair. 221 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,920 Not just a Europe fair, 222 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,589 but a world's fair. 223 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,675 The world's fair in Knoxville, Tennessee. 224 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,051 Keep reading. 225 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,469 The Hungarians have built 226 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,597 a giant, motorized Rubik's cube, 227 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,099 and the fair's symbol is the Sunsphere 228 00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:03,853 which sits atop a 266-foot-tall steel shaft. 229 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,606 -What's inside? -An information desk. 230 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,441 ALL: Cool. 231 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:11,861 So, it's a choice between Disney World and Knoxville. 232 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:15,031 ALL (chanting): Knoxville! Knoxville! Knoxville! 233 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,365 I concur. 234 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,034 (tires screeching) 235 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:23,748 You made it! Did you have any trouble 236 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,291 getting past the security guards? 237 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,126 Security guards? 238 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,753 -Great! You want to get some lunch? -Sure. 239 00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,588 The way I figure it, 240 00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:32,131 if candy stays in the machine 241 00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,467 for more than a year, it's up for grabs. 242 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,718 (groaning) 243 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,303 Why do you need me? 244 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:38,929 Well, it's a two-man operation, 245 00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,723 and you're the only man here I trust. Ready? 246 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:41,807 Ready. 247 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,102 -Whoo-hoo! -Whoo-hoo! 248 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,104 Simpson! What in God's name are you-- 249 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:48,689 Zagnut bar, Mr. Smithers? 250 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,733 Razzles? Skittles? Whatchamacallit? Twizzlers? 251 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:53,611 They all have hilarious names and are delicious. 252 00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:57,657 Well, I am partial to Jolly Ranchers. Mmm. 253 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,659 Good work, Simpson. 254 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,286 Simpsons. 255 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,164 Boy, Lisa, with you here, this hardly seems like work at all. 256 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,666 I don't know how I'm going to make it 257 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,584 through my night shift without you. 258 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,462 -We can have a slumber party. -Oh, that'd be great. 259 00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:14,924 Sleeping bags on the floor, a roaring fire-- 260 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:18,010 It'll be like the time they kicked me out of the sporting goods store. 261 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,179 (kids yelling, laughing) 262 00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:23,516 If you kids can't keep your hands to yourself, 263 00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,643 I'm going to turn this car around, 264 00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,354 and there'll be no Cape Canaveral for anybody! 265 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:31,649 That's it! Back to Winnipeg! 266 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,696 Bart, can we stop for ice cream? 267 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,114 Yes. 268 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,491 Bart, can we weigh the car 269 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,326 at that weigh station? 270 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,286 Yeah. 271 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,372 Bart, can we pick up that hitchhiker? 272 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,082 I don't see why not. 273 00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:50,292 Bart, can we stop for ice cream? 274 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,586 Yes. 275 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,296 Well, I didn't think I was rehabilitated, 276 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,966 but I guess they needed the extra bed. 277 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,553 (sighs) 278 00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:02,555 With Bart gone, and now you and your father, 279 00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:04,014 I'm not going to have anyone to-- 280 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,142 Thanks, Mom. Bye. 281 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:07,435 ...talk to. 282 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:15,192 -What is this place? -Branson, Missouri. 283 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,861 My dad says it's like Vegas 284 00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:18,612 if it were run by Ned Flanders. 285 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,159 Andy Williams! 286 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,618 Oh, we don't need to stop here. 287 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,455 -Yes, we do! -Ugh! 288 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,418 ANDY WILLIAMS: ♪ ...my huckleberry friend ♪ 289 00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:37,214 ♪ Moon river ♪ 290 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:40,760 ♪ And me ♪ 291 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:43,763 (cheers, applause) 292 00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,432 (whistles) Wow! 293 00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:49,435 I didn't think he was going to do "Moon River," 294 00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:51,771 but then, bam, second encore. 295 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,773 Okay, time for truth or dare. 296 00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,691 -You go first. -Eh... truth. 297 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,193 Ask me anything. 298 00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:01,614 Who do you love most-- me, Bart, or Maggie? 299 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,449 D'oh! All right, dare. 300 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:06,827 Okay, why don't you... 301 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,454 Hello, I'd like to speak 302 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:10,581 with a Mr. Snotball. 303 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:12,082 First name Ura. 304 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,250 Ura Snotball? 305 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,085 What? How dare you! 306 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:18,380 If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag to your butt 307 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,258 and mail you to Iran! 308 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,969 -Okay, your turn. -Mmm... truth. 309 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:27,556 Uh... do you have a crush on anyone? 310 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,682 Dad. 311 00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:30,851 I won't tell anybody. 312 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,478 Dad, you tell everybody everything. 313 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:35,105 Even Moe knew when I threw up on the dentist. 314 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,691 Moe thinks he knows a lot more than Moe knows. 315 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,944 Well, just give me another chance, 316 00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:42,112 and I'll prove I can keep your secret. 317 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,489 Okay. 318 00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:45,407 I like... 319 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,409 Langdon Alger. 320 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:50,621 I have no idea who that is. 321 00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:51,789 Nobody does. 322 00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,207 (giggling) 323 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,084 He's very quiet and enjoys puzzles, 324 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,919 but that still doesn't mean you can tell anyone. 325 00:13:57,002 --> 00:14:00,506 I've already forgotten his name. 326 00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:01,799 It was Larsen something, right? 327 00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:03,425 (giggling) 328 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,177 Thanks, Dad. 329 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:08,055 Oh, this has been the best spring break ever. 330 00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:10,516 And with my patented seminar, you will learn 331 00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:13,310 how to corner the real estate market through hypnosis. 332 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,145 Why waste your hypnotic powers 333 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,856 on neighbors and co-workers when... 334 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:18,566 I can't take this anymore. 335 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,235 (sighs) 336 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,196 (sighs) 337 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,326 (coughing) 338 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,787 (coughing louder) 339 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,957 (groaning) 340 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,834 (crying) 341 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,878 Aw, there, there... 342 00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,005 oh, Maggie, there... 343 00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:49,805 We're on the home stretch. 344 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,682 Next stop-- the Knoxville World's Fair 345 00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:54,059 and its fabulous Sunsphere. 346 00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,984 Hurry up. We've only got four days 347 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,444 to spend at the... 348 00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:06,030 "Wod... fir"? 349 00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:07,531 (metallic clatter) 350 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,328 Uh... excuse me. 351 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,371 Is this the World's Fair visitor's center? 352 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:17,917 It used to be, back in 1982. 353 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,961 You're 14 years too late. 354 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:26,175 But there's another world's fair coming soon, right? 355 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,177 Before Friday? 356 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,428 What about the Sunsphere? 357 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:30,971 You mean the Wigsphere. 358 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,307 You're welcome to go up there 359 00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:36,769 if you want to see 16,000 boxes of unsold wigs. 360 00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:40,606 Now, you gentlemen gonna buy some wigs or ain't ya? 361 00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:43,108 I guess fate was against us. 362 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:46,362 It's really nobody's fault, right? 363 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,572 Uh, right? 364 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,324 Well, we've still got a car 365 00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:51,784 and a wad of cash. 366 00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,744 Uh, no, we don't. 367 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,996 I must have spent our last $10 368 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,831 on this Al Gore doll. 369 00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:00,417 You are hearing me talk. 370 00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:03,337 I hate this place! 371 00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:08,968 We've got no car. 372 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,469 We've got no money. 373 00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:12,262 And no one knows we're here. 374 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,306 TOGETHER: We're stranded! 375 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,850 -(crying) -But on the plus side, 376 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,602 I knocked over the Sunsphere. 377 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:22,773 NELSON: Ha-ha! 378 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:28,904 This never would have happened 379 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,406 if we'd gone to Macon, Georgia. 380 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:34,284 I'm just saying, is all. 381 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,370 Fellows, I think perhaps the time has come 382 00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:37,997 to call our parents. 383 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,206 No! They'd kill us. 384 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:40,791 Look, we got here on our own, 385 00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:42,459 so we can survive here on our own. 386 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,003 All we need is money, food, and a way to get home. 387 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,921 Follow me. 388 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,258 Everybody, remember, we're parked under the Sunsphere. 389 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,598 Hey! I need those to see! 390 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,392 Ah, these lenses are perfect. 391 00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:01,270 Now I can re-bottom those antique coke bottles. 392 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:04,023 -300... -Hey, come back! 393 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:07,651 400, 500, 600... 394 00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,111 Ow! Oh! 395 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,530 500, 400, 300, 200, 100, zero. 396 00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:14,742 Come on! 397 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:17,077 This train goes right through Springfield. 398 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,625 (all groaning) 399 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,757 (phone ringing) 400 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,718 Well, of course, I'll accept. 401 00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:35,929 Bart! I've missed you so mu-- 402 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:38,223 You want to speak to Lisa? 403 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,684 So, how's the National Grammar Rodeo, Bart? 404 00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,936 Lisa, I really need your help, 405 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,855 so I 'm gonna let you in on a secret. There's no such thing. 406 00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:47,024 I knew it! I knew it! Because why would they have 407 00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:49,151 our national grammar rodeo in another nation? 408 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,028 Oh, Bart, you're going to be in so much trouble. 409 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:53,030 I'm in trouble already. Here's what happened. 410 00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,497 So you've got to think of a way I can come home for free. 411 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:05,501 Hmm... you could travel for free if you were a stewardess. 412 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:08,337 Well, how badly do you want to get home? 413 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:09,797 All right, all right, how about a courier? 414 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,341 They travel for free too. 415 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,426 No, that's a terrier. They're dogs. 416 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:19,098 Well, you sure don't look 25 417 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,350 but your un-laminated out-of-state driver's license 418 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:22,893 is proof enough for me. 419 00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:25,270 Here's your first assignment. 420 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,987 {\an8}(speaking Chinese) 421 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,948 {\an8}(speaking Chinese) 422 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,033 What the-- 423 00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:42,162 (snoring) 424 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,915 Can we call our parents yet, Bart? 425 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,000 (phone ringing) 426 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,211 BART (on phone): Lisa, this isn't working. 427 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:50,379 I've got to courier something to Springfield. 428 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:51,797 And it's got to be big enough 429 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,215 to fit Milhouse, Martin, and Nelson inside. 430 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,801 Bart, that will cost a fortune. 431 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:58,011 Simpson, how'd you like to escort 500 Big Macs 432 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,930 to Marlon Brando's island? 433 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:02,141 Oh, I can't take much more of this. 434 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,684 I'm counting on you, Lis. 435 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,776 -(dejectedly) Whee. -What's wrong, honey? 436 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,611 There's something troubling me, Dad. 437 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,864 But I don't think I can tell you because it's a secret. 438 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,615 Well, you don't have to tell me, 439 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:21,118 but I thought we trusted each other with our secrets now. 440 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:24,288 I mean, I haven't told a soul about your new boyfriend. 441 00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:25,622 Langdon Alger? 442 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,332 I don't like him anymore. 443 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,293 Okay, but you gotta promise you won't get mad 444 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,378 or tell anyone, especially Bart. 445 00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:32,713 I promise. 446 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,381 Bart rented a car with a phony driver's license 447 00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:36,508 and drove Milhouse, Nelson, and Martin to a wig outlet in Knoxville 448 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,510 and the car got crushed, and they're out of money 449 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:39,928 and they can't get home, and Bart 's working as a courier 450 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:40,929 and just came back from Hong Kong. 451 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:45,684 Yes, that's a real pickle. 452 00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:47,853 Would you excuse me for a moment? 453 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:53,650 (muffled yelling) 454 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:57,112 (muffled yelling) 455 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,200 All right, I have thought this through. 456 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:04,286 I will send Bart the money to fly home, 457 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,371 then I will murder him. 458 00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,832 No, no! Then he'll know I told! 459 00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:11,418 Dad, you said I could trust you. 460 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:12,920 (sighs) 461 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,505 Okay, we'll work this out together. 462 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,050 First things first. Where is Knoxville? 463 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:21,595 It's in Tennessee, right next to the Oak Ridge nuclear facility, 464 00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,722 birthplace of the atomic bomb. 465 00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:26,433 Well, maybe we could order something from Oak Ridge. 466 00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:28,435 And Bart could be the courier! 467 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,730 Yello, Oak Ridge? 468 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,899 This is Springfield Nuclear. 469 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,068 We need to order a, uh... 470 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,239 T-437 471 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,740 safety command console. 472 00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:43,408 Springfield, my computer 473 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,119 shows your t-437 is fully operational. 474 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,038 Uh, I suggest you-- 475 00:20:48,121 --> 00:20:49,456 Oh, my God! 476 00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:50,916 Oh, God, no! 477 00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:52,751 This can't be happening! 478 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,462 This... you're operating without a T-437, Springfield! 479 00:20:55,545 --> 00:20:57,297 Ah, sweet mother of mercy! 480 00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,299 I mean... I mean, my God! 481 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:02,469 And have it sent to the Springfield nuclear power plant 482 00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:04,471 care of Homer J. 483 00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:06,723 No, don't use your real name or Bart will know! 484 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,475 Forget the name Homer Simpson. 485 00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:12,312 Have it sent care of Langdon Alger. 486 00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:19,945 MILHOUSE (muffled voice): Bart! Hey, we really could use another air hole. 487 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:22,072 Shh! They'll know you're in there. 488 00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:23,865 (chuckling) 489 00:21:26,159 --> 00:21:28,203 But I don't think I'd go back again next year. 490 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,122 It's getting too commercial. 491 00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:32,457 They've forgotten it's supposed to be about the grammar. 492 00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:40,882 (phone ringing) 493 00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,384 Hello. 494 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,886 Oh, hello, Principal Skinner. 495 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:48,223 No, Bart has never been to Hong Kong. 496 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,725 {\an8}Good night. 497 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:51,893 {\an8}(phone ringing) 498 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,520 {\an8}Hello. 499 00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:55,981 {\an8}Tennessee state police? 500 00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:59,067 {\an8}No, my son's car was not crushed in Knoxville. 501 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,402 {\an8}I don't know where to begin telling you 502 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,778 {\an8}what's wrong with that. 503 00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:03,405 {\an8}(phone ringing) 504 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:04,906 {\an8}Hello. 505 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,534 {\an8}No, Bart is not available tomorrow 506 00:22:07,617 --> 00:22:10,996 {\an8}to deliver a human kidney to Amsterdam. 507 00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:12,539 {\an8}(snickering) 508 00:22:12,622 --> 00:22:15,459 {\an8}Homer, are you laughing at me? 509 00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,880 {\an8}♪♪ 510 00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:43,779 Shh! 511 00:22:46,823 --> 00:22:49,409 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.