1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,131 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,385 D'oh! 3 00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,721 -Ahh! -(tires screech) 4 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,822 {\an8}(hocking) 5 00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:32,782 {\an8}Milhouse, do you ever think 6 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,659 {\an8}about the people in those cars? 7 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:35,827 {\an8}I try not to. 8 00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,746 {\an8}It makes it harder to spit on them. 9 00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:40,498 {\an8}Sometimes I wonder about all the people in this town. 10 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:41,541 {\an8}Do you think anything interesting 11 00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:42,625 {\an8}ever happens to them? 12 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,960 {\an8}I mean, there must be 13 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,671 {\an8}thousands of great stories out there. 14 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,304 {\an8}What do you think, Milhouse? 15 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,973 {\an8}-Milhouse? -Huh? 16 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,975 {\an8}Oh, sorry, I saw a convertible. 17 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,935 {\an8}-You were saying? -Forget it. 18 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:02,353 {\an8}Come on, it's 11:00. 19 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:03,730 {\an8}I need some sugar. 20 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,818 {\an8}I wish you'd come to my party, Apu. 21 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,820 {\an8}You could use some merriment. 22 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:14,199 {\an8}Listen, serving the customer is merriment enough for me. 23 00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:16,451 {\an8}Thank you. Come again. 24 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,787 {\an8}You see? Most enjoyable. 25 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,790 {\an8}Oh, I guarantee a wingding of titanic proportions. 26 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:23,792 {\an8}You will be there or kindly be square. 27 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:27,712 Well, I don't like to leave the store, but... 28 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:30,715 for the next five minutes I'm going to party 29 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,884 like it's on sale for 19.99. 30 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,269 Quick, quick, no time to cook them. 31 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,688 They will plump in my stomach. 32 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:48,817 (belches) 33 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,903 Whoo! Hello, beautiful. No ring I see. 34 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:52,946 So you are only arranged to be married. 35 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:54,447 ♪♪ (synthesizer) 36 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:56,866 Oh, I love this song. Let us boogie. 37 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,827 ♪ I am a freak-a-zoid ♪ 38 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,954 ♪ Come on and wind me up ♪ 39 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:03,164 Whoo, I am hot. Let us get out of here. 40 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,460 Don't worry. 41 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,546 Ill tell everybody you were untouchable. 42 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,342 Whoo! Woo-hoo. 43 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:17,262 Oh, Sanjay, never have I partied so hearty. 44 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,180 -Same time next year, ya? -Yes! 45 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,562 Made it. And with one minute to spare. 46 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:30,400 You took four minutes of my life and I want them back. 47 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,986 Oh, I'd only waste them anyway. 48 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:36,865 ♪♪ 49 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:40,201 MAN: Swing Serenade is brought to you by Gorman's Ear Guards. 50 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,870 (loudly) Guard your ears... 51 00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,705 (softly) with Gorman's. 52 00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:47,000 Mom, Dad threw his beer can at the Miracle-Gro guy on TV. 53 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,209 Can I recycle it? 54 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,460 Why not. 55 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:56,843 Waa! 56 00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,261 Uhh! 57 00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:00,263 There's gum in my hair! 58 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:02,765 Mom, someone threw gum in my hair! 59 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:03,892 Are you sure? 60 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:05,727 Maybe it's just shampoo. 61 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,270 That washes right out. 62 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:10,023 No, it's somebody's gross gum! 63 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,566 Get it out! 64 00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:13,818 Ow! Ow! 65 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,987 It's pulling out my hair! 66 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:18,948 Wait-- if I remember my Heloise, 67 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,951 the trick to getting out gum is peanut butter. 68 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,330 There. 69 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,916 Now that gum should lift right out. 70 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,752 -(grunting) -Ow. 71 00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,170 Hmm? 72 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,130 Maybe it needs a little mayonnaise 73 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,965 to get going. 74 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:39,928 Okay, you go sit in the sun and let it melt in. 75 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,888 Why me? 76 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:45,391 Yuck. I smell like a sandwich. 77 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,228 (buzzing) 78 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:49,604 (screaming) 79 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,443 (buzzing) 80 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,412 Smithers, what's the meaning of this slacking off? 81 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,957 There's a bee in my eye, Sir. 82 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,625 And? 83 00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:12,293 I'm allergic to bee-stings. 84 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,379 They cause me to, uh... die. 85 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,965 But we're running out of forward momentum. 86 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,299 Uh, perhaps you could pedal 87 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,884 for just a little while, Sir? 88 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,344 Quite impossible. 89 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:24,430 I can try to bat him off if you like. 90 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:25,974 Really, that's ok-- 91 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:28,017 (moaning) 92 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,228 Holy cats, man, we're starting to wobble. 93 00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:34,607 (thickly) Get me to a hospital. 94 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,694 You have... to... pedal. 95 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,696 Oh, Tuttle's Sunday trousers. 96 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,073 Fear not, I'll get you to a hospital 97 00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,200 the only way I know how. 98 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,702 Smithers, you infernal ninny! 99 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,246 Stick your left hoof on that flange now! 100 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:51,332 Now, if you can get it through your bug-addled brain 101 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,668 jam that second mephitic clod-hopper of yours 102 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,086 on the right doodad! 103 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,297 Now pump those scrawny chicken legs, 104 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,298 you stuporous funker! 105 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,384 (panting) 106 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:04,095 One more jostle, you wretched shirkaday. 107 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,476 (groaning) 108 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,769 Help me. 109 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,479 Holy smokes! 110 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,648 You need booze. 111 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:20,862 Hi, everybody. 112 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,239 ALL: Hi, Dr. Nick. 113 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,907 Dr. Nick, this malpractice committee 114 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,909 has received a few complaints against you. 115 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,746 Of the 160 gravest charges, the most troubling are 116 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,748 performing major operations 117 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:34,292 with a knife and fork from a seafood restaurant-- 118 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,336 But I cleaned them with my napkin. 119 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,962 Misuse of the cadavers-- 120 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:41,090 I get here earlier when I drive in the car-pool lane. 121 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,842 (door opens) 122 00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:45,803 (panting) There's a crazy man with a scalpel in E.R.! 123 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,472 He's demanding to see a quack. 124 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,729 Hi, everybody. 125 00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:57,065 Now tell Dr. Nick where is the trouble. 126 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,609 I'm edgy! I got ants in my pants! 127 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:00,610 I'm discombobulated! 128 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,445 Give me a calmative! 129 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,405 Slow down, sir. 130 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,075 You're going to give yourself skin failure. 131 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,160 Okay, now the symptoms you describe 132 00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:11,079 point to "bonus eruptus." 133 00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,830 It's a terrible disorder 134 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,582 where the skeleton 135 00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:16,000 tries to leap out the mouth 136 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,210 and escape the body. 137 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:19,212 Now you're talking. 138 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:22,090 Our one chance is trans-dental electromicide. 139 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:26,302 I'll need a golf-cart motor with 1,000 volt capacimator, stat. 140 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,179 Doctor, I can't in good conscience-- 141 00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:30,264 Now there's no time, man. 142 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,682 We'll have to improvise. 143 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:34,268 (electricity crackling) 144 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,603 (screaming) 145 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,024 Keep doing that every five seconds. 146 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,110 Dr. Nick, we owe you an apology. 147 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,903 Consider the charges dropped. 148 00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:45,113 All right! 149 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:48,282 Free nose jobs for everybody. 150 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,700 Yi! You first. 151 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,369 Give me a Van Heflin. 152 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,287 -(electricity crackling) -(screaming) 153 00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,669 Say, Barn... 154 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:01,462 uh, remember when I said 155 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:05,091 I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab? 156 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,342 (laughs) Oh, yeah. 157 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,219 We all had a good laugh, Moe. 158 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,804 The results came back today. 159 00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:10,888 (grunts) 160 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:13,433 You owe me $70 billion. 161 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:14,434 Hmm? 162 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,810 No, wait, wait wait, 163 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,520 that's for the Voyager spacecraft. 164 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,605 Um, your tab's $14 billion. 165 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:22,066 Well, alls I got is 2,000 bucks. 166 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,526 Well, that's halfway there. 167 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,238 Freeze, dude. 168 00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:29,949 Move a muscle and I'll blow this wino's head off. 169 00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:36,497 (grunts) 170 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,749 I'm behind three inches of bullet-proof glass. 171 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:39,750 Do your worst. 172 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,085 All right. 173 00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,796 No, stay out of there. Stay out of there! 174 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,923 Oh, good God, no! 175 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:52,013 Oh, good-bye student loan payments. 176 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,306 Ha-ha. 177 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,725 Come back here, you stinking... 178 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,227 Hey, I wonder how much air is in here. 179 00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,818 (doorbell rings) 180 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,946 Well, Seymour, I made it, despite your directions. 181 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,699 Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome. 182 00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:13,493 I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon. 183 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:14,660 Yeah. 184 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,498 (gasps) 185 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,416 Oh, ye Gods! 186 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,002 My roast is ruined. 187 00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:24,962 But what if... 188 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,797 I were to purchase fast food 189 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,842 and disguise it as my own cooking? 190 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:33,471 Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. Delightfully devilish, Seymour. 191 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:41,229 ♪ Skinner, with his crazy explanations ♪ 192 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:44,482 ♪ The superintendent's gonna need his medication ♪ 193 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:47,360 ♪ When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations ♪ 194 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,320 ♪ There'll be trouble in town tonight ♪ 195 00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:52,031 Seymour! 196 00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:53,574 Superintendent! I was just... 197 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,952 uh, stretching my calves on the windowsill. 198 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,995 Isometric exercise-- care to join me? 199 00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,581 Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour? 200 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,250 Uh... oh! That isn't smoke. 201 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,126 It's steam. 202 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,254 Steam from the steamed clams we're having. 203 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:07,713 Mmm, steamed clams. 204 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:10,675 Whoo. 205 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,471 Superintendent, I hope you're ready 206 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,889 for mouth-watering hamburgers. 207 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,642 I thought we were having steamed clams. 208 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,061 Oh, no, I said "steamed hams." 209 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:23,896 That's what I call hamburgers. 210 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,482 You call hamburgers "steamed hams"? 211 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,651 Yes, it's a regional dialect. 212 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,570 Uh-huh. What region? 213 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,280 Uh... upstate New York. 214 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,448 Really? Well, I'm from Utica, 215 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,535 and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams." 216 00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:39,996 Oh, not in Utica, no, it's an Albany expression. 217 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:40,955 I see. 218 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,375 You know, these hamburgers are quite similar 219 00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,502 to the ones they have at Krusty Burger. 220 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,629 (laughing) Oh, no. 221 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,591 Patented Skinner burgers, old family recipe. 222 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,969 -For steamed hams. -Yes. 223 00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,762 Yes, and you call them steamed hams 224 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,432 despite the fact they are obviously grilled. 225 00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:02,768 Y-You know th-- 226 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,646 One thing I sh-- 227 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,523 Excuse me for one second. 228 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,733 Of course. 229 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,944 Ah, well, that was wonderful. 230 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,030 Good time was had by all. I'm pooped. 231 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,698 Yes, I should be-- 232 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,742 Good Lord! What is happening in there? 233 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,285 Aurora borealis. 234 00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,954 Aurora borealis?! 235 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,665 At this time of year, at this time of day, 236 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,417 in this part of the country, 237 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:29,295 localized entirely within your kitchen? 238 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:32,214 -Yes. -May I see it? 239 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,966 No. 240 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,178 SKINNER'S MOTHER: Seymour, the house is on fire! 241 00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,472 No, Mother, it's just the Northern Lights. 242 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,891 Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, 243 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,310 but I must say, you steam a good ham. 244 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:51,651 SKINNER'S MOTHER: Help! Help! 245 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,028 (siren blaring) 246 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,699 "Helms calls for donut tax." 247 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,076 (gasping) 248 00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:04,538 (door slamming) 249 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,458 There! Done and done. 250 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:08,459 (shrieks) 251 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:13,839 Oh! 252 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,258 Why did I have to stop at the railroad tracks? 253 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:17,510 Better get some change. 254 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,095 (sucking loudly) 255 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,305 It's okay. It's okay. I'm back. 256 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,932 See? Daddy's here. 257 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,308 (grunting) 258 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,769 Come on, Maggie. 259 00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:29,188 Maybe if you just squeeze a little... 260 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,190 (grunting) 261 00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:32,316 That's it. That's it. I-- 262 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,359 D'oh! 263 00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,319 (giggling) 264 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:41,075 Okay, okay, think, Homer. 265 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:42,034 -(dog barks) -The dog! 266 00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:47,415 (mumbling) 267 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,002 Okay, go, boy. 268 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,003 Go find help. 269 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,423 Go find help, boy. 270 00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:56,841 D'oh, bad dog. 271 00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:58,134 Bad dog! 272 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,052 (sucking) 273 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,512 Oh... 274 00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,097 Don't worry, Maggie. 275 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,557 I'll think of something. 276 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,726 (Homer speaking gibberish) 277 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,602 Where's that lil' baby? 278 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:09,937 (giggling) 279 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:13,482 (babbling) 280 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,073 You know, I went to the McDonald's 281 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,742 in, uh, Shelbyville on Friday night. 282 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:23,951 The Mc-what? 283 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,077 Uh, McDonald's restaurant. 284 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,829 I never heard of it either 285 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,456 but, uh, they have over 2,000 locations 286 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:29,665 in this state alone. 287 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,208 Must have sprung up overnight. 288 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,918 You know the funniest thing, though? 289 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,253 It's the little differences. 290 00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:36,172 -Example. -Well, at McDonald's, 291 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,466 you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right? 292 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,426 But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese. 293 00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,428 Get out! What do they call it? 294 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:43,971 A Quarter Pounder with cheese. 295 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:46,056 Quarter Pounder with cheese? 296 00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:49,018 Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have 297 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:52,813 Krusty partially gelatinated, nondairy, gum-based beverages? 298 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,398 Mm-hmm. They call them shakes. 299 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,317 Huh, shakes. 300 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,818 You don't know what you're getting. 301 00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,362 Well, I know what I'm getting-- some donuts. 302 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:01,739 (grunting) 303 00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:03,699 Uh, help me out of the booth, boys. 304 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,701 (air hissing) 305 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:09,079 ♪♪ ("La Cucaracha" on radio) 306 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,461 Mmm-ahh! 307 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:18,881 (yipping) 308 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,425 Ay, que dia miserable a trabajo. 309 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:26,764 Primero, el attaque del woodpeckero loco. 310 00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:29,975 (canned laughter) 311 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,561 Luego, un disastro de electricidad. 312 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:34,980 (electricity crackling) 313 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,398 (canned laughter) 314 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,067 Y finalmente 315 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,945 una catastrofia con una pelota de beisbol. 316 00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,154 (crack of a bat) 317 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,572 (ball whistling) 318 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,241 (canned laughter) 319 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,117 (sighs) 320 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:50,037 Tiempo para relaxar en paz y quieto. 321 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,249 Ay! Naranjas en la cabeza! 322 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,042 (yips) 323 00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,670 ♪♪ ("Mexican Hat Dance" on radio) 324 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,674 Ay, una candelabra precariosa! 325 00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:03,050 (yells) 326 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,220 (dog yipping) 327 00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:07,596 Ooh! Ooh! 328 00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,057 (screams) 329 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,642 Mira que cosa tan terrible 330 00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:13,561 no puedo entender algo como esto 331 00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:16,480 como puedo vivir con alguien tan irresponsible. 332 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,357 No, no, no, no! 333 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,401 -(yipping) -(sighs) 334 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:21,944 ¿ Donde esta mi tequila? 335 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,202 ♪♪ (hard rock version of "The Simpsons" theme on radio) 336 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,496 ♪ Donuts ♪ 337 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,290 ♪ I got donuts, I g-- ♪ 338 00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,457 Hey, I know you! 339 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,458 (engine revving) 340 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,418 (tires squealing) 341 00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:38,377 Ooh! 342 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,297 (children laughing) 343 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,007 Huh... huh! 344 00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,341 Hey, hey, wait up! 345 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,051 We got to swap insurance info. 346 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,678 (panting) 347 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:48,679 (grunting) 348 00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:49,889 Hey! 349 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,932 Hey! Hey! 350 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,767 -Whoa, whoa, whoa... -Huh, huh, huh... 351 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:54,977 -Whoa, whoa, whoa... -Huh, huh, huh... 352 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,395 -Whoa... uh! -(gun cocks) 353 00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:58,731 Hold it right there. 354 00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:02,359 Looks like the spider caught himself a couple of flies. 355 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,695 (chuckles) 356 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,327 Come on, boy. 357 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,954 This is the spot right here. 358 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,289 That's a good boy. 359 00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:16,665 Good boy. 360 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,126 Do your dirty, sinful business. 361 00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:21,086 Well, howdy, Reverend Lovejoy. 362 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,088 Nice to see you there... 363 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,506 on my lawn with... 364 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,175 your dog. 365 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,177 Oh, uh, ooh... bad dog. 366 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,387 Look at that. Right on Ned's lawn. 367 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,473 Now, how could you do such a thing? 368 00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:33,682 (quietly) Good boy. Don't stop now. 369 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,226 Bad dog! I condemn you to hell. 370 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,603 Better get the ol' snow shovel 371 00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:39,563 back from Homer, huh? 372 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:40,648 Good boy. 373 00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,524 Don't stop the music. 374 00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,236 Marge Simpson, 375 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,821 still making juice the old-fashioned way? 376 00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,240 No, I've got gum in my hair. 377 00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,992 Oh, we've tried everything-- 378 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,745 olive oil, lemon juice, tartar sauce, chocolate syrup, 379 00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:57,456 gravy, bacon fat, hummus and baba ganoush. 380 00:15:57,539 --> 00:16:00,000 My scalp hurts from horsefly bites. 381 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,794 Why don't you freeze it with an ice cube, 382 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:02,920 and hit it with a hammer? 383 00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:03,963 Works for me when I get bubbly-gum 384 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,005 in the ol' push broom. 385 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,256 That sounds okay. 386 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,383 Ah! 387 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,051 Ah! 388 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,219 Stop! Stop! 389 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,012 Hmm... 390 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,180 I seem to have mashed more hair into it. 391 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,099 Oh, well. 392 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:16,809 Ice cubes are useless, man. 393 00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,936 Chewing gum's got to be chewed out. 394 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,771 Does the whole town have to hear about this? 395 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:24,358 Gar, have ye tried a Baltic squid? 396 00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:27,653 They can suck the bolts out of a submarine's hull. 397 00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,279 All right. 398 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:32,199 Fangoria will give me 25 bucks for this shot. 399 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,868 I can give you the name of a good gum-and-hair man. 400 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:35,911 (laughs) 401 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,871 I have a word of advice: 402 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,249 don't try to dig gum out with a bone. 403 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,167 It just makes things worse. 404 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,003 Leave it in as evidence. 405 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,421 Bazooka Joe's got deep pockets. 406 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,381 Perhaps I can help. 407 00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:49,717 My papa is foreman of the Dusseldorf gum-works. 408 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,677 (honking) 409 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,475 {\an8}♪♪ (Bluegrass) 410 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,655 {\an8}Hey, what's going on on this side? 411 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,490 Hey, Brandine, 412 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:16,160 you might could wear these to your job interview. 413 00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:18,662 And scuff up the topless dancing runway? 414 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,706 Naw. You best bring them back 415 00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:21,874 where from you got them. 416 00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:22,958 Okay. 417 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,793 Back you go-- 418 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:28,881 to waits for a woman of less discriminating tastes. 419 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,842 ♪♪ (Bluegrass) 420 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,188 Hey, you know what? 421 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:47,316 I could call my ma while I'm up here. 422 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,650 Hey, Ma! 423 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,694 Get off the dang roof! 424 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,616 Yes, and one with extra cheese. 425 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,326 Thank you. 426 00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:58,660 Can I use your bathroom? 427 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,037 No, you may not. 428 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,497 The bathroom is for paying customers only. 429 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,582 If you purchase an item, you may use the bathroom. 430 00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,125 Uh... okay. 431 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,669 Um... how about that? 432 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,089 That is a rare photo of Sean Connery 433 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,423 signed by Roger Moore. 434 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:12,549 It is worth $150. 435 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,760 Oh... what can I get for 75 cents? 436 00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:18,222 You may purchase this charming Hamburglar adventure. 437 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,808 A child has already solved the jumble using crayons. 438 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:21,934 The answer is "fries." 439 00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:24,394 Milhouse, What's going on? 440 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:25,729 You said you just needed to use the bathroom. 441 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:26,855 Now I find you buying comics! 442 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,857 Our transaction is completed. 443 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,109 You may take the boy. 444 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,568 Wait! 445 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:42,329 As soon as Zed gets here, the party will begin. 446 00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:43,705 (doorbell rings) 447 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:44,915 (buzzing) 448 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,250 There he is now. 449 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:48,961 Who are you? 450 00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:50,796 Uh, can my son use your bathroom? 451 00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:52,214 You got to say "yes"! 452 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,466 Okay, but be quick. 453 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,801 It's in back. 454 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,014 (muffled grunts) 455 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,602 Uh... so, uh... n-nice store. 456 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,479 (louder muffled grunts) 457 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,606 Uh, you know, when I was a kid, 458 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,025 this used to be a pet store. (nervous chuckle) 459 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,778 Yeah, right over there against that wall 460 00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:17,030 -there was the cutest little-- -(gun cocks) 461 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:18,949 -Get in the corner. -(gulps) 462 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:24,538 Hey, Dad, can we get this, please? 463 00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,248 Oh, my gosh! 464 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,875 Sorry, mister. 465 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,585 (muffled grunt) 466 00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,427 Want me to cut off the gum 467 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,636 or just style it? 468 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,388 Cut if off, but be careful. 469 00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:43,015 Don't worry, sweetheart. 470 00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,976 I know how important hair is to a little girl. 471 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:48,896 (screams) 472 00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,397 You keep squirming 473 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,941 there's going to be a little bald girl 474 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,234 with no lollipop. 475 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,403 (gasps) I love it! 476 00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,739 I finally look like a real person. 477 00:19:58,822 --> 00:19:59,698 Thanks! 478 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,786 Ha! Ha! 479 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,163 (groans) 480 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,124 (screams) 481 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,334 Ha! Ha! 482 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:15,714 Ha! Ha! 483 00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:16,632 (brakes screeching) 484 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,343 Crud. 485 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:22,304 (panting) 486 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,392 He's down there. 487 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:28,936 NELSON: Crud! 488 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:33,106 Do you find something comical about my appearance 489 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,359 when I'm driving my automobile? 490 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,069 Yeah. 491 00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:40,781 Everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even the very tall. 492 00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:44,326 This was the largest auto that I could afford. 493 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:47,412 Should I, therefore, be made the subject of fun? 494 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:48,997 I guess so. 495 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,249 (frustrated grunt) 496 00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:52,042 Would you like it 497 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:54,253 if I laughed at your misfortune? 498 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:55,796 Huh?! 499 00:20:55,879 --> 00:20:57,631 Maybe we should find out. 500 00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:59,049 (grunts) 501 00:20:59,132 --> 00:21:01,009 Now... march! 502 00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:04,179 (horn honking) 503 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,598 Hey, everybody, look at this! 504 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,559 It's that boy who laughs at everyone. 505 00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:11,520 Let's laugh at him. 506 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:13,563 ALL: Ha! Ha! 507 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:17,109 Wave to the people! 508 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:18,860 Blow them kisses! 509 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:23,115 (bawling) 510 00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:30,080 (guffawing) 511 00:21:30,163 --> 00:21:33,000 Well, Milhouse, I guess interesting stuff 512 00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,460 does happen to people in Springfield. 513 00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:39,506 Yep. Everybody in town's got their story to tell. 514 00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:41,800 There's just not enough time 515 00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:42,968 to hear them all. 516 00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:44,219 (panting) 517 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,888 Oh, sorry I'm late. 518 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,515 There was trouble at the lab-- 519 00:21:48,598 --> 00:21:50,100 with the running, the exploding and the crying. 520 00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:52,978 One of the monkeys stole the glasses off my head! 521 00:21:53,061 --> 00:21:54,521 No, wait. Please, no! 522 00:21:54,604 --> 00:21:57,024 Please, I have a funny story-- if you listen. 523 00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,442 {\an8}I even wrote theme music. 524 00:21:58,525 --> 00:21:59,693 {\an8}Yeah, listen-- (clears throat) 525 00:21:59,776 --> 00:22:01,611 {\an8}♪ Hey, hey ♪ 526 00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:03,530 {\an8}♪ Professor Frink, Professor Frink ♪ 527 00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:05,449 {\an8}♪ He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think ♪ 528 00:22:05,532 --> 00:22:08,452 {\an8}♪ He likes to run, and then the thing with the... ♪ 529 00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:10,495 {\an8}♪ Person... ♪ 530 00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:14,124 {\an8}Ah, boy, that monkey is going to pay. 531 00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:17,377 ♪♪ 532 00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:42,986 Shh! 533 00:22:46,239 --> 00:22:49,368 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.