1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,589 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:07,799 (tires screech) 3 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,593 D'oh! 4 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,679 -(screams) -(tires screech) 5 00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,653 Wow. 6 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,071 You know, most of my life, 7 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:32,282 I've had to live with the shame 8 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:33,658 of being a screw-up. 9 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,910 But now, as I stand here with the award 10 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,413 {\an8}for the district's safest bus driver... 11 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:41,374 {\an8}well, it... it's like a dream come true. 12 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,835 {\an8}MILHOUSE: Otto, wake up! 13 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:45,503 {\an8}Huh? (screaming) 14 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,630 {\an8}(children screaming) 15 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:53,636 {\an8}(machinery clanging) 16 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:03,563 {\an8}So, um... who's good at keeping secrets? 17 00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:05,315 {\an8}"Dear parents, 18 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,442 {\an8}"Due to yesterday's unscheduled field trip 19 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,069 {\an8}"to the auto wrecking yard, 20 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:11,738 {\an8}"the school bus will be out of commission for two weeks. 21 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,782 {\an8}"By reading this letter out loud, 22 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:17,243 {\an8}"you have waived any legal responsibility on our part 23 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:20,455 {\an8}"in perpetuity throughout the universe." 24 00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:21,873 {\an8}(groans) 25 00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:24,000 {\an8}Well, we'll have to organize a car pool. 26 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:27,045 {\an8}Hey! Every day will be like a road trip 27 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:30,006 {\an8}with your dad to school! 28 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,050 {\an8}(grumbling) 29 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,095 {\an8}So... 30 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,806 {\an8}How about those rainbow suspenders, huh? 31 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:38,932 Dad? 32 00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,309 Pretty cool way to keep your pants up, eh? 33 00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:43,603 -Dad. -I see these kids now 34 00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,855 with "jive" printed on their shirts. 35 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,440 Now, I can teach you 36 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,359 how you're supposed to say "jive." 37 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,402 Dad. Please just drive the car, Dad. 38 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,029 I'm watching the road, sweetie. 39 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,281 You jive turkey. 40 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,742 See? You got to sass it. 41 00:01:57,826 --> 00:02:00,370 Quit jivin' me, turkey. 42 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,539 You got to sass it. 43 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,083 A "turkey" is a bad person. 44 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:07,377 MAN (on radio): K-F-S-L-- Fossil 103. 45 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:11,131 Classic hits from Abba to Zeppelin, comma, Led. 46 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:14,259 ♪ We are winners and losers ♪ 47 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:17,303 ♪ We're the mellow choosers ♪ 48 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,513 Tell him. 49 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:21,266 Uh, Mr. Simpson, sir? 50 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:24,394 Can you please change the radio station? 51 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,063 But this is Grand Funk Railroad. 52 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,983 You guys back there know Grand Funk, right? 53 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,318 (grumbling) 54 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:35,405 Nobody knows the band Grand Funk? 55 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,533 The wild shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner? 56 00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:41,911 The bong-rattling bass of Mel Schacher? 57 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:45,290 The competent drum work of Don Brewer? 58 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,125 Oh, man! 59 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,420 For more information on Grand Funk, 60 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,463 consult your school library. 61 00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:01,848 ("Mississippi Queen" playing in distance) 62 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,143 ♪ Mississippi queen ♪ 63 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:07,187 When I listen to a really good song, 64 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,855 I start nodding my head 65 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,607 like I'm saying "yes" to every beat. 66 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,026 Yes! Yes! Yes! This rocks! 67 00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:15,278 And then sometimes I switch it up like-- 68 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,198 No! No! No! Don't stop a-rockin'! 69 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,408 Dad, please. You're embarrassing us. 70 00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:22,410 No, I'm not. 71 00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:25,246 I'm teaching you about rock music. Now... 72 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,041 Grand Funk Railroad paved the way for Jefferson Airplane 73 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:30,084 which cleared the way for Jefferson Starship. 74 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:33,213 The stage was now set for the Alan Parsons Project, 75 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:35,006 which I believe was some sort of hovercraft. 76 00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:37,634 Dad! No one cares about any of your stupid dinosaur bands! 77 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:41,638 You have the worst, lamest taste in music ever. 78 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,348 (turns off radio) 79 00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:45,058 I'm just trying to party with you guys. 80 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,435 Homer, first of all, it's "par-tay," 81 00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:50,230 and second, we wouldn't par-tay with you 82 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:53,524 if you were the last dad on Earth. 83 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,276 Hmm. 84 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,823 Hi, there. 85 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,408 It's been a while since I set foot 86 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,952 in Good Vibrations Music. 87 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,162 Where can I find the latest releases by Bread? 88 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,331 -Oldies. -Oldies? 89 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,833 But you've got all the top bands in here. 90 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,796 Styx? I just heard them on "The King Biscuit Flour Hour." 91 00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:17,423 Now, here are some of your no-name bands. 92 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,591 Sonic Youth? 93 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,593 Nine Inch Nails? 94 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,303 Hullabalooza? 95 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,472 Hullabalooza is a music festival-- 96 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:26,933 The greatest music festival of all time. 97 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,686 There can only be one truly great music festival 98 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,938 a lifetime and it's the "US Festival." 99 00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:35,108 -The what festival? -The "US Festival"! Jeez! 100 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:38,403 It was sponsored by the guy from Apple Computers. 101 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,447 -What computers? -(groans) 102 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:44,033 Well, why do you need new bands? 103 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,704 Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. 104 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,123 It's a scientific fact. 105 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:53,001 ("Frankenstein" playing in background) 106 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,670 Quadraphonic sound, a waterbed, 107 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,422 and now a strobe light. 108 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,257 Gentlemen, say hello 109 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,676 to the Second-Base Mobile. 110 00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:03,094 ALL: Wicked! 111 00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:05,179 (music continues) 112 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,472 ♪♪ 113 00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:24,240 HOMER: Back then, we didn't care what anyone thought, 114 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,535 and the chicks found that irresistible. 115 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:31,497 I think you're cool, Homer Simpson. 116 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,333 Sandra, that was mean. 117 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,336 But most of all, I remember the music. 118 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:39,339 (falsetto): ♪ You make me feel like dancing ♪ 119 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,965 ♪ I want to dance the night away ♪ 120 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,592 What the hell are you two doing? 121 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,177 It's called "rockin' out." 122 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,095 You wouldn't understand, Dad. 123 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,347 You're not with it. 124 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,223 I used to be with it 125 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,225 but then they changed what "it" was. 126 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:53,186 Now, what I'm with isn't it, 127 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:56,314 and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. 128 00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:58,816 (ominously): It'll happen to you. 129 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,360 No way, man. 130 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,195 We're going to keep on rocking forever. 131 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:04,906 Forever, forever, forever... 132 00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:07,825 forever... forever... 133 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:10,244 What's wrong, Homey? 134 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,621 (sighs) 135 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,664 I went to the record store today 136 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,376 and they were playing all this music I never heard of. 137 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,127 It was like the store had gone crazy. 138 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,713 Hmm. Record stores have always seemed crazy to me 139 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,382 but it doesn't upset me. 140 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,759 Music is none of my business. 141 00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:26,386 That's fine for you, Marge 142 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,554 but I used to rock 'n' roll all night 143 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:29,764 and party every day. 144 00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,724 Then it was every other day. 145 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,560 Now, I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week 146 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,312 in which to get funky. 147 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,564 I've got to get out of this rut 148 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,358 and back into the groove. 149 00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:41,776 Well, good. 150 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,111 Try to include Bart and Lisa. 151 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:44,987 (whistling tune) 152 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:48,366 Dear Lord, if you keep Homer from embarrassing us today 153 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,618 we promise to build several churches in your honor. 154 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:51,828 Bart, no! 155 00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:54,580 Hey, wait! 156 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:55,832 I'm okay today. 157 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,667 My Mom bought me deodorant. 158 00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,627 Dad, you forgot to pick up Milhouse. 159 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:01,379 I did? 160 00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:04,048 I must be getting forgetful in my old age. 161 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,758 Open the glove compartment 162 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,552 and fetch me my brain medicine. 163 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,387 What are you talking about? 164 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:13,891 -(gasps) -Well? 165 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,685 What have we here? 166 00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:18,855 Looks like your uncool Dad scored tickets 167 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,273 to Hullabalooza! 168 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,567 (gasps) Bart, these look real. 169 00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,819 Check the authenticator spot. 170 00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:27,780 MAN: This is an authentic Hullabalooza ticket. 171 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:30,074 For authentic refreshment, eat Clark bars. 172 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:33,786 And for totally outrageous class rings, it's Josten's. 173 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,496 Go, Josten's! 174 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,498 You're not going to school today. 175 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,125 Today, your classroom will be 176 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,835 the Capitol City Amphitheater. 177 00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:43,421 Your teacher-- four dozen rock bands. 178 00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,923 So get ready for some well-supervised craziness 179 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,259 while you rock out with your father. 180 00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:49,343 Whoo-hoo! 181 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,772 Wow. It's like Woodstock 182 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,232 only with advertisements everywhere 183 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,817 and tons of security guards. 184 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,736 People, have your tickets out. 185 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,321 Throw your cameras out. 186 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:11,949 Surrender all identification. 187 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,202 Oh, my homemade Kahlua. 188 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,537 Generation "X" may be shallow, 189 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,498 but at least they have tolerance and respect 190 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,707 for all people. 191 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,501 Hey, a freak show. 192 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:26,923 (barking) 193 00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:30,593 -Ow! Aah! -(crowd cheering) 194 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,512 Thank you. Thank you very much. 195 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,473 And now the band you've all been waiting for-- 196 00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,600 Cypress Hill! 197 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,353 -Yeah! -Before we start, 198 00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:41,938 we have a lost child here. 199 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,940 If she's not claimed within the next hour, 200 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,609 she will become property of Blockbuster Entertainment. 201 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,945 ♪ Throw your set in the air ♪ 202 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,947 ♪ Come on! ♪ 203 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,115 ♪ Wave it around like you just don't care... ♪ 204 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,827 (sniffing) What is that smell? 205 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,330 It smells like Otto's jacket. 206 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,502 -Dude, karma. -What? 207 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,921 Karma. Karma. 208 00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:08,881 Oh, I get it. 209 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,386 Dad, you cannot wear that. 210 00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,304 That's a Rastafarian hat. 211 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,641 Hey, I've been safari-ing since before you were born. 212 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,185 Wearing a Jamaican hat makes a bold statement 213 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,145 about your connection to reggae music. 214 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,982 Well, excuse me! 215 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:29,819 You know what, Dad? 216 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,362 Maybe we'll go exploring 217 00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:33,406 on our own for a while. 218 00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:35,324 Well, Homer, this is it. 219 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,618 Time to get back with the people-- 220 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,078 the young people. 221 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,915 All right! Yeah! 222 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,584 Cool concert, am I right? 223 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,794 -Yeah, nice try, narc. -Where's a narc? 224 00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,963 -Who? -That fat Jamaican guy. 225 00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:50,631 What'd I say? What's goin' on? 226 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:53,634 Hey, we're just trying to have a good time, narc. 227 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,720 Why do you want to destroy us? 228 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,847 Don't commit your hate crimes here. 229 00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,265 Hate crime! 230 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:01,225 Okay, I'm heading out now. 231 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,560 More butt support. 232 00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,437 More butt support. 233 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,646 D'oh! 234 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:09,400 (playing mid-tempo rock) 235 00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:11,569 ♪ My reflection ♪ 236 00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:12,987 ♪ Dirty mirror ♪ 237 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:15,573 ♪ There's no connection ♪ 238 00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:16,991 ♪ To myself ♪ 239 00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,118 ♪ I'm your lover ♪ 240 00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:21,162 ♪ I'm your zero ♪ 241 00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:24,290 ♪ I'm the face in your dreams of glass ♪ 242 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,878 -♪ So say your prayers... ♪ -It may be bleak, 243 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,631 but this music is really getting to the crowd. 244 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:32,965 Eh, making teenagers depressed 245 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,092 is like shooting fish in a barrel. 246 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:38,304 ♪ Throw your cares and fly... ♪ 247 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,556 Oh... 248 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,016 Makes no sense. 249 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,851 I haven't changed since high school, 250 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,979 and suddenly I'm uncool. 251 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,440 I've been kicked out of paradise. 252 00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:52,860 -(snorts) -I'll never be part of the scene again. 253 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,863 (powering up) 254 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,448 Uh-oh. 255 00:10:58,699 --> 00:10:59,575 (grunts) 256 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:07,124 Aw, man. There goes Peter Frampton's big finale. 257 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,001 He's going to be pissed off. 258 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:11,128 You're damn right, I'm going to be pissed off. 259 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,464 I bought that pig at Pink Floyd's yard sale. 260 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,299 Dad, are you okay? 261 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,634 I'm fine. 262 00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:18,803 (murmuring) 263 00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:21,847 Sir, I run Hullabalooza's Pageant 264 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:22,848 of the Transmundane-- 265 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,392 the freak show. 266 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,394 And I've been looking for a big fatso 267 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:28,187 to shoot with a cannon. 268 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,815 I'd like very much for you to be that fatso. 269 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,903 So, you want to go on tour 270 00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:38,531 with a traveling freak show. 271 00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,533 I don't think I have a choice, Marge. 272 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,868 -Of course, you have a choice. -How do you figure? 273 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,829 You don't have to join a freak show 274 00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:47,415 just because the opportunity came along. 275 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:51,043 You know, Marge, in some ways you and I are very different people. 276 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:54,171 (cheering) 277 00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,468 MAN (over P.A.): And now, get ready for the man 278 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:02,430 with the iron stomach! 279 00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,432 (drum roll) 280 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,643 (gulps) 281 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,311 Hi, everybody. 282 00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,564 Is everybody-- 283 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,315 (feedback) 284 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,400 ...good? 285 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,283 (grunts) 286 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,621 (cheering) 287 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,081 Thank you. 288 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,292 Thank you very much. 289 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:37,715 "Stay in school. 290 00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,675 Your hero, Homer." 291 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,135 (thud) 292 00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,554 Hey, Cannonball, I like your statement. 293 00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,890 When life takes a cheap shot at you, you stand your ground. 294 00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,725 Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins. 295 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:50,436 Homer Simpson, smiling politely. 296 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,313 You know, my kids think you're the greatest. 297 00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:54,064 And thanks to your gloomy music, 298 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,816 they've finally stopped dreaming 299 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,068 of a future I can't possibly provide. 300 00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,862 Well, we try to make a difference. 301 00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,157 "Dear Bart and Lisa..." 302 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,242 HOMER: All is well on tour 303 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:08,662 with America's most popular alternative music festival. 304 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,290 Our first job is to entertain. 305 00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:14,126 -(grunts) -(cheering) 306 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:18,214 And I like to think sometimes we get a message across as well. 307 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,134 (grunts) 308 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:25,054 (cheering) 309 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,139 But the main thing is, 310 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,434 I've finally tapped into that spirit of self-destruction 311 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:34,271 that makes rock 'n' roll the king of music. 312 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:37,358 (cheering) 313 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,361 Whoo-hoo! 314 00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:44,240 Hello, ticket holders! 315 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,118 Oh, here comes that cannonball guy. 316 00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:49,495 He's cool. 317 00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:51,664 Are you being sarcastic, dude? 318 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,541 I don't even know anymore. 319 00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:58,546 (grunts) 320 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:02,007 (cheering) 321 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,384 Thank you! 322 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,802 And remember! 323 00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:07,555 Don't trust anyone over 30! 324 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:10,140 And now, Peter Frampton! 325 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,017 (cheering) 326 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,561 Thanks, Homer. 327 00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:16,021 Homer Simpson, everyone! 328 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,440 (strikes chord) 329 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,317 Hey, Homer, looks like our next stop 330 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:21,902 is your hometown, Springfield. 331 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,738 Is it true that we have to bring our own water? 332 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:26,323 We got a little rule back home. 333 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:27,825 If it's brown, drink it down. 334 00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:29,827 If it's black, send it back. 335 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,704 The hometown show's the big one, Homer. 336 00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:33,831 Yeah. People who called you a weirdo in high school 337 00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:36,333 get to see what a successful freak you've become. 338 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,835 Hey, I wasn't a weirdo. 339 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:40,588 I was in the audio-visual club. 340 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:41,922 Really? Me too. 341 00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,549 But I got kicked out 342 00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,926 'cause of my views on Vietnam. 343 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,762 Also, I was stealing projectors. 344 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,264 Anyway... 345 00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:51,724 get ready, beer belly. 346 00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,434 We're going to show Springfield 347 00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:55,519 what we're made of. 348 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,062 All right, Homer! Yeah! 349 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,064 (echoey belch) 350 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,816 That was odd. 351 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,818 Gee, I don't like the sound of that. 352 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,153 (echo) 353 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,946 No biggie. I'm cool. 354 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,615 Homer, nothing's more important to me 355 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:10,075 than the health and well-being of my freaks. 356 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,077 I'm sending you to a vet. 357 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,872 My, God. Those cannonballs 358 00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:17,041 have practically demolished your stomach. 359 00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:20,419 From now on, no cannonballs, no spicy foods. 360 00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:22,046 And when you lie in a hammock, 361 00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,298 please, rest your beer on your head 362 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:25,841 or your genitals. 363 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,635 (scoffs) Rules. I'm a rocker. 364 00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,261 I don't care for rules. 365 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,764 Mr. Simpson, this is serious. 366 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:34,558 If you take one more cannonball to the gut, 367 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,018 you will die. 368 00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:38,646 Die? 369 00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:40,689 Well, you don't scare me, Doc, 370 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:45,110 'cause dying would be a stone groove. 371 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,780 Got any messages for Jimi Hendrix? 372 00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:50,366 Yes. Pick up your puppy. 373 00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:58,666 BART: So, what's it like being famous, Dad? 374 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,960 HOMER: People know your name, but you don't know theirs. 375 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,461 It's great. 376 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:05,506 Dad, do you wear boxers or briefs? 377 00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:07,800 -Nope. -What religion are you? 378 00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:10,803 You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules 379 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:13,097 that don't work out in real life. Uh... 380 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:14,974 Christianity. 381 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,517 What's with all the questions? 382 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,893 Just some report I gotta do for school. 383 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,520 Hey, you want some pie? 384 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:22,898 Sure. We got a lot of catching up to do. 385 00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:27,820 Hmm... 386 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,783 (rumbling) 387 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,797 Clear the way, clear the way. 388 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,173 Performer coming through. 389 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,675 This is so exciting. 390 00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:51,635 Last time I got to go backstage 391 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,637 was when Bart ripped his pants at the Christmas play. 392 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,597 -Mom! -Ha-ha! 393 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:05,232 Hello, bands. Who is playing with the London Symphony Orchestra? 394 00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:09,069 Come on, people. Somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra-- 395 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:11,572 possibly while high. 396 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:15,367 Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your direction. 397 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,244 Hey, man, did we order a orchestra? 398 00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:18,662 (whispering) What's up with this orchestra? 399 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,080 (whispering) Where'd the orchestra come from? 400 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,582 I don't know, man. 401 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:22,708 They didn't tell me about this, man. 402 00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:24,501 We got to do something. 403 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,795 Uh, oh, yeah, yeah, we think we did. 404 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,339 Uh, do you know "Insane in the Brain"? 405 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,717 (British accent): We mostly know classical, 406 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,552 but we could give it a shot. 407 00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:34,595 (hip-hop beat playing) 408 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,808 ♪ Put the water on the flame, boiling temper ♪ 409 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,144 ♪ Just toss that ham in the frying pan like spam... ♪ 410 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:44,646 Now this, I like. 411 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,776 (synthesized voice): ♪ Do you feel... ♪ 412 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:51,737 (crowd cheering) 413 00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:57,159 ♪ Like we do? ♪ 414 00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,369 Man. That guy's guitar is talking. 415 00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:02,456 Hey, my shoes are talking too. 416 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:04,458 Don't worry. 417 00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:06,585 We won't hurt you. 418 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:10,464 We only want to have some fun. 419 00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:11,757 (chuckling) 420 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,258 And to think, Smithers, 421 00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:16,178 you laughed when I bought Ticketmaster. 422 00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:19,431 "Nobody's going to pay a 100% service charge." 423 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:22,351 Well, it's a policy that ensures a healthy mix 424 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,561 of the rich and the ignorant, sir. 425 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,398 ♪ Do you feel like we do? ♪ 426 00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,943 Springfield, yeah! 427 00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:33,070 Do you-- Wait, what's this? 428 00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:34,613 ♪ Do you, do you feel ♪ 429 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:37,908 ♪ Do you feel ♪ 430 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:39,660 -(squeaking) -Oh, come on. 431 00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:41,453 Do you feel! 432 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:44,289 God. Homer Simpson wrecks my pig, 433 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,291 Cypress Hill steals my orchestra, 434 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,710 and Sonic Youth's in my cooler! 435 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,504 Get out of there, you kids! 436 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,339 {\an8}Aw, come on, Mr. Frampton. 437 00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,341 {\an8}You're not going to eat all that watermelon. 438 00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:57,469 Please. I'm trying to perform. 439 00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,012 Go ahead. 440 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:00,180 We'll stay here and guard your cooler. 441 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:03,267 Oh, 25 years I've been in this. 442 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:04,434 I've never heard anything like... 443 00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,145 (crowd cheering) 444 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,813 And now, Springfield, 445 00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:10,899 this is the moment that you've been waiting for. 446 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:15,696 The man who embodies everything about rock 'n roll, except the music-- 447 00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:18,866 Give it up for your very own homegrown hero... 448 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:23,203 -Homer Simpson! -(cheering) 449 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,080 I used to carpool with that guy. 450 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:29,459 Oh, this is heavy. 451 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:32,713 Okay, Homer, don't fear the reaper. 452 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,464 (stomach rumbling) 453 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:35,799 Oh, I'm going to die. 454 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,802 Cannons are designed to hurt. 455 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:41,054 They're designed to hurt. 456 00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,140 Shh! Mom, Dad needs our support. 457 00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:48,645 You're the coolest Dad alive. 458 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,445 (drum roll) 459 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,369 (gasps) 460 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,291 (crowd gasping) 461 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,170 (crowd jeering) 462 00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:17,966 Oh, Marge, I thought I had 463 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,010 an appetite for destruction, 464 00:20:20,093 --> 00:20:22,638 but all I wanted was a club sandwich. 465 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,890 There might be one in this cooler. 466 00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:26,558 Oh, here we go. 467 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:27,643 Ohh! 468 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,853 Aw, man. Homer wussed out. 469 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,313 I'm so disillusioned. 470 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:34,107 Hey, Hullabalooza isn't about freaks. 471 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,318 It's about music and advertising 472 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,987 and youth-oriented product positioning. 473 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:42,032 That and getting toasted-- nicely toasted. 474 00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:43,784 Homer, I'm sorry. 475 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:46,828 There's nothing worse than a yellow-bellied freak, 476 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,413 unless that's his act. 477 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,540 I expect your letter of resignation on my desk. 478 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:54,211 -You have a desk? -No, I mean, the hood of my car. 479 00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:58,173 I'll miss you, Pumpkins, but I just can't share your bleak world view. 480 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,133 I've got too much to live for. 481 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,719 We envy you, Homer. All we have is our music, 482 00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:04,805 our legions of fans, our millions of dollars, 483 00:21:04,888 --> 00:21:05,806 and our youth. 484 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,684 Whoo-hoo! 485 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:11,228 Let's all go out and buy fur coats! 486 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,771 I want a walk-in humidor. 487 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,152 So, I realized that being with my family 488 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,571 is more important than being cool. 489 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:24,866 Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool. 490 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,576 You know what the song says: 491 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:29,162 "It's hip to be square." 492 00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:31,164 That song is so lame. 493 00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,750 So lame that it's... cool? 494 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:34,751 -No. -No. 495 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,003 Am I cool, kids? 496 00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:37,004 -No. -No. 497 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,588 Good. I'm glad. 498 00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:41,008 And that's what makes me cool-- not caring, right? 499 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:42,301 -No. -No. 500 00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,261 Well, how the hell do you be cool? 501 00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,179 I feel like we've tried everything here. 502 00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:49,599 Wait, Marge. Maybe if you're truly cool, 503 00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:52,269 you don't need to be told you're cool. 504 00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:53,562 BART: Well, sure you do. 505 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:55,355 LISA: How else would you know? 506 00:21:56,606 --> 00:21:58,483 ♪♪ 507 00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:03,697 {\an8}(guitar feedback) 508 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:14,666 {\an8}(Sonic Youth playing "The Simpsons" theme) 509 00:22:47,657 --> 00:22:49,284 Shh! 510 00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:55,290 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.