♪ The Simpsons ♪
(tires screech)
D'oh!
-Aah! -(tires screech)
Hey, Bart, summer's almost here.
Which kind of sprinkler do you like?
The one that goes like this?
Sss... fff...
sss... fff...
Or the one that goes like this?
Fft-fft-fft-fft-fft-fft.
Oh, and there's this one.
Fff-fff-fff-fff-fff-fff.
It's the last day of school, Milhouse.
Try to show some dignity.
(truck engines rev)
Gentlemen, start your chimes.
(chimes ringing)
School's out! Up yours, Krabappel.
Well, I'm glad the rest of you remembered that summer vacation
starts at the end of the day, not the beginning.
Here you go, Ma'am.
Hmm, quick work.
How did you know he was going to run?
We've got someone on the inside.
(nervous laughter)
Ah, the reward for a year's worth of toil and sacrifice.
Retrospecticus.
Ugh...
-Ooh. -Aah.
The leatheroleum covers were worth the extra money.
Oh... you can smell the benzene.
Oh, when the kids see these layouts and fonts,
you're going to be the most popular girl in school.
You know something, Beezee?
I think you're right.
And so, as Abraham Lincoln sat in Ford's Theater that night,
John Wilkes Booth entered, drew his gun and...
(bell ringing)
Well, that's it. Have a nice summer, everyone.
But what happened in Ford's Theater?
Was President Lincoln okay?
He was fine.
Go home, Ralph.
In the beginning of the school year,
each of you received a colored ticket.
I hope everyone still has theirs.
-No. -No.
Who died and made you boss?
Mr. Estes, the publications advisor.
I edited the whole thing.
If you hadn't done it, some other loser would have.
So quit milking it.
(cheering)
Hey, will you guys sign my yearbook?
(sighs)
This is Becky.
She's in the second grade.
Hi, Becky. Thanks for coming out.
"See ya."
He writes the way people talk.
Your daughter is named Seymour?
Well, I... ye...
I lied. It's for me.
I don't get it. Straight A's,
perfect attendance, bathroom timer.
I should be the most popular girl in school.
(sighs)
Homer, I'm in a rhubarb of a pickle of a jam here.
I was all set to go off on vacation
when I get called up for jury duty.
It's a corker of a case.
Seems a man drove up onto a traffic island
and hit a decorative rowboat full of geraniums.
Now they're trying it as a maritime offense...
So, anyhoo, how'd you like to use my beach house?
Free of charge.
I only get two weeks of vacation a year,
and you want me to spend it in your lousy beach house?
Well... if it will seal the deal,
I'll take a look at your septic tank,
see if I can get her humming again?
Deal. See Flanders? You give a little, you get a little.
(squishing)
Hello, Mr. Brown Ground. What you got for me?
MARGE: And you're sure the Flanderses won't be there?
Well, it sounds great.
Bart, you can invite Milhouse.
Lisa, you can bring a friend, too.
Hey, great, a friend...
or a companion...
or, I don't know, a stuffed animal.
Well, did you call one of your friends?
Friends? Ha.
These are my only friends.
Grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal.
And even he's kissed more boys than I ever will.
Girls, Lisa.
Boys kiss girls.
Mom, why don't I have any friends?
We have each other.
When I was a lonely little girl,
I always dreamed that someday
my daughter would be my best friend.
We are best friends, Mom.
But I'm a kid.
I need friends my own age, too.
Honey, you'll make plenty of friends.
All you have to do is be yourself.
Be myself?
I've been myself for eight years and it hasn't worked.
Look at all these dorky clothes.
A bathing cap...
nose plugs...
a microscope at the beach?
Ugh, what was I thinking?
Mom, I'm gonna tighten Milhouse's straps.
He's fidgeting again.
Ow!
-(honking) -Lisa! Let's go.
Hmm...
Somebody's traveling light.
Maybe you're getting stronger.
Well, I have been eating more.
Wave bye-bye to our house, Maggie.
Bye-bye, tree.
Bye-bye, job.
Bye-bye, toothbrush.
Bye-bye, Lisa Simpson.
When the hell are we going to get to...
Where the hell are we going?
(annoyed grunt)
It's called Little Pwagmattasquarmsettport.
It's known as America's scrod basket.
I thought Springfield was America's scrod basket.
No. Springfield is America's crud bucket.
At least, according to Newsweek.
"Wel-diddly-elcome, Simpsons."
Oh, geez.
He actually wrote "diddly."
That was thoughtful.
"I left a few helpful notes around our house."
HOMER: Aw, come on-- Gee--
"Put food in me."
I'll take that.
Well, duh!
With what, Ned?
(annoyed groan)
Nice try, Todd.
(chuckles)
Isn't this fun, honey?
It must be exciting to make a different set of beds.
I know you're joking, but it is!
Say, why don't you put on your swimsuit
and head for the beach?
Well, it's kind of funny.
With all the craziness and confusion
and mishegoss of packing, I forgot to pack.
Lisa, that's not at all like you.
Exactly.
Hmm.
I forgot my swimsuit, too
but I improvised.
HOMER: Hello.
(siren wailing)
Uh, Mom, I'm kind of trying to go
for a different look this year.
Oh, okay.
(gasps)
Ooh!
How about this adorable sunsuit?
It has a starfish on the fanny
and it comes with its own pail.
LISA: Mom, come here! Bring money.
So, where do you want to show off your new hip togs?
The Sherbet Shoppe? The Candle District?
Big Sue's Tap Water Taffy?
Um, if it's okay with you, Mom,
I'd rather go find some kids.
Oh. Okay.
You'll be my friend.
I'm never, never going to let you get away.
(laughing)
BART: Last one in is a yearbook editor!
Full speed ahead. Prepare to dive.
Dive!
(both groan)
It's low tide, boys.
I wonder where all the kids are.
Hey, a library!
No, I can't.
That's the old nerdy Lisa.
Lisa, read about my adventures in the south seas
and make me live again.
We've got periodicals on microfiche.
Won't you join our tea party?
It would be ever so...
Don't do it, Lisa! It's a trick. Run!
Run!
Oh, I don't see any kids at all.
It's like they ditched me in advance.
BOY: So, he goes like (snorts).
GIRL: I can totally hear him going that.
(gasps) Only kids are that incoherent.
(kids chuckling)
So my Mom tried to take me to some candle place,
but I'm all, like, "no way."
Like, you know, whatever.
Hey, what's hap...
(screeching)
Okay, okay, okay.
Not your fault. It's a bird thing.
You don't control the birds.
You will someday, but not now.
-Hi. -What's up?
-Who's that? -I don't know. Some kid.
Hey, I like your hat.
A compliment!
Scanning for sarcasm...
It's clean. Go!
Thanks.
Um... you guys skate?
Try to, but cops always confiscate our boards.
Yeah. And you just know they're using them
like, five minutes later down at the station.
Hmm. I think I know a place you can skate
that's virtually deserted.
Like, you know, whatever.
-Oh, cool. -All right. Cool.
Hey, this place rocks.
What'd you say your name was?
-Didn't. It's Lisa. -I'm Erin.
So how'd you know about this place?
You into books?
Me? Unlikely.
My goony brother's always going to libraries.
I usually hang out in front.
Oh, you like hanging out, too?
Well, it beats doing stuff.
Yeah, stuff sucks.
Hey, you up? You can use my board.
Aah!
Okay. Thanks.
That's very, um...
rad of you.
Hey, Bart, Lisa's skateboarding with some cool kids.
And she looks like Blossom.
Lisa? With people? (snorts)
If they're impressed by her,
I'm going to Bart their world.
Okay, Milhouse, you know the drill.
Right. You go over and wow them.
I hide in the shrubs.
Hot stuff coming through!
My friendship, you know you want it.
(scoffs) That kid, like, tries too hard.
Shah. The whole thing smacks of effort, man.
Pff. That's my dorky little brother, Bart... tholomew.
(scoffs) Like, who does he think he is
with that slingshot in his back pocket?
Dennis the Menace?
-(all laughing) -Face. What a rip!
Like, Mr. Wilson or something.
How'd it go? Are we down with them?
No. They must have seen you.
(bug zapper zaps)
Oh, why do we have to play this lousy old game?
Because it was the only one in the house.
Come on, Homer, open the door for your mystery date.
Ooh captain of the football team!
He's a dreamboat.
Don't wait up, Marge.
(chuckles)
Okay, Bart, your turn, your turn.
(Marge laughing)
You got the dud!
Hey, he looks just like you, Poindexter.
(guffawing)
How come Lisa doesn't have to play?
Why does she get to hang out with her friends?
You got friends. You got the dud right here.
Stand up for yourself, Poindexter.
Wow, Lisa, I never appreciated
all this, like, sea junk before.
Hey, that clam's got legs.
That's a hermit crab.
When she outgrows her old shell,
she finds a new one that's a better fit.
Don't be afraid, little friend.
You'll be the most popular crab on the beach.
Aww, a gift from my favorite crustacean.
Um, did you learn that word from a teacher or something?
No. No...
I heard it on Baywatch.
(overlapping affirmations)
Baywatch... David Hasselhoff, man.
Hmm... I bet this place sells illegal fireworks.
Just go in and act casual, like you buy 'em all the time.
Hi.
Um... let me have one of those porno magazines,
large box of condoms,
a bottle of Old Harper,
couple of those panty shields,
and some illegal fireworks,
and one of those disposable enemas.
No, make it two.
My apologies, sir, but the sale of fireworks
is prohibited in this state and is punishable by...
Follow me.
Any red-blooded, flag-fearing American
would love the M-320.
Celebrate the independence of your nation
by blowing up a small part of it.
All right.
Pretty cool of your Mom
to let us hang out here.
Totally. Not like my Mom.
She'd be butting in
with Rice Krispie squares and Tang.
My Dad's all stoked
'cause today's the fourth of July.
He woke me up at dawn to take a loyalty oath.
Ugh. My Mom's French
so we only celebrate Bastille Day.
Well, we could do something fun.
Um, how about a beach party?
Oh, great idea, Lis.
I know where there's a beach.
I know where we can get some baguettes.
Gee, I don't know what you've got planned
for tonight, Homer, but count me out.
Didn't you buy any meat?
(chuckles)
This baby's sure to kill something.
Okay, now, everybody, stand back while I celebrate freedom.
Bart, give me your matches.
Fresh out.
No lighter? Nothing?!
Oh!
Wait. I got it.
D'oh!
(gibbering)
(gasps) The beer!
(sighs)
(whistling)
Oh, this is the worst fourth of July ever.
I hate America.
Come on, Milhouse. Let's go down there.
I don't think you should.
Let Lisa be alone with her new friends.
They're my friends rightfully.
She only got them by copying me.
Don't have a cow, man.
(all laughing)
See? That's my expression.
Oh, you haven't said that in four years.
Let Lisa have it.
It's the principle. She's got to learn.
No! Now, park your keister, Meester.
LISA: Aye, carumba!
(kids laugh)
Hey, Lis, I made something for you.
It's a friendship bracelet.
For me?
Wow, my first real friend... ship bracelet.
(nervous chuckle)
I don't have anything for you...
except this necklace I made.
Oh, cool.
Thanks.
(sniffing)
Hey, cinnamon dental floss.
I just know we're going to be friends forever.
So, Lisa has a friend.
We'll see about that.
Bart!
I need my glasses.
Oh, nice doggie.
(giggling)
I'm dizzy!
I'm nauseous!
But I'm popular!
Huh?
What's he doing here?
My yearbook.
No!
Mm-hmm.
Hey, you guys, you want to see
how cool Lisa Simpson really is?
Check this out. "Miss Perfect Attendance."
"Grammar Rodeo-- Head Buckeroo."
"The French table." Ooh la la.
"Teacher's Pet"?
(sobbing)
(humming)
Hey, Lis.
I guess my little yearbook stunt
was pretty rough,
but it did teach you a lesson.
It's important to be yourself.
(through clenched teeth) I know exactly who I am.
I am the sister
of a rotten, jealous, mean little sneak.
You cost me my only friends.
You've ruined my life.
Hey, kids, there's a carnival tonight.
Oh, boy, a carnival!
Hmm.
(choking)
Kids, stop that.
Don't make me get the carny.
Hey, Lisa, make friends with this.
Hey!
MILHOUSE: Help!
Remember, kids, there's no need to bump.
Just enjoy the ride.
(bell rings)
(electrical crackling)
(sighs)
Lisa, wait!
Being myself didn't work.
Being someone else didn't work.
Maybe I just wasn't meant to have friends.
BOY: Lisa is gonna freak when she sees this.
ERIN: Well, hurry up. They'll be back soon.
(gasps) Lisa.
Okay, you found out I'm an overachieving bookworm.
So whatever mean prank you're pulling,
just finish it up and send me a Polaroid.
I'm going to sleep.
BOY: Wait, Lisa, look.
Hmm?
(Lisa exclaiming)
Cool, huh?
Now you can take the beach with you wherever you go.
Uh, but don't drive at night.
Does this mean you still want to be friends?
Even though I tried to cover up my nerdish leanings?
Look, we don't care who you were,
and you can't fake the kind of good person that you are.
Yeah. You taught us about cool things like nature
and why we shouldn't drink sea water.
This is the most thoughtful thing anybody ever--
HOMER: Sweet merciful crap!
My car!
(sea gulls shrieking)
Mmm. The polite thing to do
would have been to clean the shells first.
Shoo. Shoo.
I guess I should give this back to you.
I showed it to your friends again before we left.
Bart!
Look inside.
Oh, thanks, Bart.
I signed it, too.
(goofy laughter)
Uh-huh.
Well, get a last look
at the beautiful ocean scenery, kids.
♪ Sittin' in my car outside your house ♪
♪ Remember when you spilled Coke all over your blouse ♪
♪ T-shirts, cut-offs, and a pair of thongs ♪
♪ We've been havin' fun all summer long ♪
♪ Won't be long till summertime is through ♪
♪ Summertime is through... ♪
♪ Every now and then we hear our song... ♪
Shh!
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.