♪ The Simpsons ♪
-(chalk screeches) -(bell rings)
(work whistle blows)
-(sucking) -(register beeping)
(jazzy solo)
(tires screech)
D'oh!
-Aah! -(tires screech)
(cries out)
(to tune of "Hooray for Hollywood") ♪ I work for Monty Burns ♪
♪ Muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-muh Monty Burns ♪
Mr. Smithers, may we offer you a ride to work?
(chuckling) No, thank you.
(humming)
We're from Globex Corporation.
We'd like to talk to you about
an exciting employment opportunity
in our nuclear division.
Flattered, but spoken for.
We're prepared to offer you an impressive salary
plus health benefits for you and your life partner.
The answer is no.
What's wrong with this country?
Can't a man walk down the street
without being offered a job?
(sighs)
We'll have to go to the next most senior man at the plant.
Oh, here we are.
Ten years' experience.
His name is...
Marge, I got a new job!
It's with Globex Corporation.
I get more money plus health benefits
for me and my life partner.
And, they'll move us and give us a nice house and liv--
-Move us? -It's in Cypress Creek, upstate somewhere.
You took a new job in a strange town
without discussing it with your family?
Of course not.
I wouldn't do that. Why not?
We have roots here, Homer.
We have friends and family
and library cards.
Bart's lawyer is here.
But Marge, this is a chance for me
to fulfill my lifelong dream.
What lifelong dream?
Promise not to laugh?
I always wanted to own the Dallas Cowboys.
(laughing)
I'm sorry, Dad.
I just find that very cute.
Homer, I don't want to leave Springfield.
I've dug myself into a happy little rut here
and I'm not about to hoist myself out of it.
Just bring the rut with you, honey.
Come on, take a look.
Uh, let's watch something else.
Homer, you're trying to talk us into moving to this place.
Oh, yeah, that's right. Let's watch this.
WOMAN: Look at this place.
Somebody ought to build a town that works.
ANNOUNCER: Somebody did.
It's called Cypress Creek--
a planned community designed for the workers of the Globex Corporation.
Cypress Creek-- where dreams come true.
ANNOUNCER 2: Your dreams may vary from those
of Globex Corporation, its subsidiaries and shareholders.
Well, what do you think of me
and Cypress Creek now, Marge?
It does seem nicer than Springfield.
Yeah, did you notice how the people weren't shoving
or knocking each other down?
I've never been to a place like that before.
-(cries out) -Me neither.
Well, we could use the extra money,
and this house is falling apart.
All right.
(cheering)
Oh, wow! Windows. (chuckles)
I don't think I can afford this place.
(doorbell chimes)
Hello. I am not interested in buying the house,
but I would like to use your rest room,
flip through your magazines,
rearrange your carefully shelved items,
and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner.
Ha! Now you know how it feels!
Thank you. Come again.
We'll never sell this rotten dump.
A little help here.
Even if we sell the house,
we still don't come close to paying off the mortgage.
-Hey. -Hey.
Uh... Homer, ah...
about those things you borrowed from me over the years,
you know, the TV trays, the power sander,
the downstairs bathtub,
you going to be needing those things in Cypress Creek?
-Yes. -Oh, uh...
Okily dokily...
Okily dokily.
-(tires screech) -Bye-diddly-I.
-So long. -God bless you.
-See ya. -Good-bye.
-Bye-bye, Homer. -Take care.
-Adios. -So long.
Fare thee well.
Arr. Bon voyage.
Toodle-oo.
So long.
-Bye-bye. -Ta-ta.
-Bye, everybody. -Bye-bye.
-Sayonara, dudes. -So long.
-ALL: Bye-bye! -Bye-bye, now.
-Bye. -See ya.
-Bye. -Bye-bye.
Ha-ha.
I'm gonna miss Springfield.
This town's been awfully good to us.
No, it hasn't, Dad.
That's why we're leaving.
Oh, yeah.
So long, stinktown!
It says here, one of these giant redwood trees
can provide enough sawdust to cover
an entire day's worth of vomit at Disneyland.
ALL: Ooh.
Ahh.
Ohh.
Ooh.
Here we are:
15201 Maple Systems Road--
Our new home.
(whistles)
I call this room.
(knocking)
I am here to welcome you
on behalf of the President of the Globex Corporation.
Me. Try the papayas.
They're juicy and full of papayine.
Makes you strong like Popeye.
Popeye, papayine. Popeye, papayine.
See? Same thing. Same... Ah, forget it.
How are you? I'm Hank Scorpio.
Wow, my boss.
Don't call me that word.
I don't like things that elevate me
above the other people. I'm just like you.
Oh, sure, I come later in the day,
I get paid a lot more and I take longer vacations,
but I don't like the word "boss."
-Hey, look at my feet. -Okay.
You like those moccasins? Look in your closet. There's a pair for you.
Don't like them? Then neither do I. Get the hell out of here!
Ha! Ever see a guy say good-bye to a shoe?
Yes, once.
Mr. Scorpio, this house is almost too good for us.
I keep expecting to get the bum's rush.
We don't have bums in our town, Marge, and if we did, they wouldn't rush.
They'd be allowed to go at their own pace.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of a fun run.
See you at work tomorrow.
Although I don't really like to call it work.
Whoa.
Okay, the oven is cleaning itself.
The Autovac's on dirt patrol.
(beeping, whirring)
And Maggie's enjoying her swing-a-majig.
(whimpering)
I can't believe it.
I've done all my housework, and it's only 9:30.
Well, better go upstairs
and make sure the beds are still made.
You will notice, my new best friend,
that we are pretty casual around here.
Yes, sir. I will notice that.
Very casual, Mr. Scorpion.
Don't call me "Mr. Scorpion."
It's "Mr. Scorpio," but don't call me that, either.
Call me Hank. Say, before we continue our tour,
would you mind hanging my coat up on the wall, please?
Mm-hmm. Um, uh... Let's see, um...
-Well, uh... -(laughing )
Relax, Homer.
At Globex, we don't believe in walls.
Matter of fact, I didn't even give you my coat.
Hmm?
Wow.
Having a place like this
has always been my dream, Homer.
What's your dream?
Uh, to work for you?
Don't do that.
My butt is for sitting, not for kissing.
Now you tell me the truth.
What's your real dream? Your real dream!
Um, someday, I'd... like to own the Dallas Cowboys.
I bet people laughed at you when you told 'em that dream.
-Yeah. -Homer, don't give up.
They laughed at me the first time I wore jeans with a sport coat.
I was the first wealthy man in America to ever do that.
Now they all do it.
-Did you ever hear of Mike Milken? -Yeah-- No.
-Hi there. -Hey, how you doing?
Now, Homer, these gentlemen here will be your eyes and your ears,
and should the need arise, they'll fill in
for any other part of your body.
Your job will be to manage and motivate them.
Give them the benefit of your years of experience.
Don't worry, that won't take long.
The key to motivation is trust.
Let me show you what I mean. I want you to close your eyes
and fall backwards, and I'll catch you.
That's gonna show you what trust is all about. Ready?
-Alright. -Three, two...
-(phone ringing ) -One second.
-Hello? -D-ohh!
Oh, my God, a guy's on the floor.
That was a phone call.
Don't chalk that up to mistrust, now.
Yes? What happened?
When did that happen? How much of it?
Oh my goodness, I'll be right up.
Homer, I got to go upstairs. There's a problem.
Somebody ate part of my lunch.
I'm gonna leave everything to you.
We're on a tight schedule.
You keep them motivated.
Are you guys working?
Yes, sir, Mr. Simpson.
Could you, um, work any harder than this?
Sure thing, boss.
Hey, call me Homer.
(making armpit noises)
You got a fresh sound.
It will play well at this school.
Hey Bart, do you have a best friend yet?
'Cause I've been looking for someone to boss me around.
Okay, folks, let's do it to it.
(chuckling)
Grammar, that is.
Uh, everybody write down this sentence
and circle the nouns.
Bart, as the newest addition to our menagerie,
you have the honors.
Um... uh...
Well, let's start by reading the sentence.
"Two wintim
amd jawwy wirt... " (trails off)
(armpit noise)
So, you never learned cursive?
Um, well, I know "hell" and "damn" and "bit--"
Cursive handwriting, script.
Do you know the multiplication tables?
Long division?
-I know of them. -Hmm...
You know, Bart, I think you'd profit
from a more remedial environment.
And I'm sure you'll feel right at home in...
the Leg-Up Program.
(gasps)
(groans)
Guess I can't complain.
Everything's perfect here.
(ominous music playing)
So, what are you in for?
I moved here from Canada, and they think I'm slow, eh?
I fell off the jungle gym,
and when I woke up, I was in here.
I start fires.
Okay, now, everyone take out your safety pencil
and a circle of paper.
This week, I hope we can finish our work on the letter "A."
Let me get this straight.
We're behind the rest of our class,
and we're going to catch up to them by going slower than they are?
Cuckoo.
ALL: Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo...
Stop it. Stop it!
Warren! Melvin! Gary! Dot! Gordy!
Look, lady, I'm supposed to be in the fourth grade.
Sounds to me like someone's got a case of "the s'pose'das."
(groans)
-(hard slap) -Warren!
Wild flowers!
We don't have you in Springfield.
(chittering )
Hello, Mr. Chipmunk.
You're a northern reticulated chipmunk.
Yes, you are.
You are so reticulated.
Hi, Mrs. Owl.
You're out kind of early.
♪ La-la-la, la-la... ♪
(hooting)
Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up two percent,
and it's all because of my motivational techniques,
like doughnuts and the possibility of more doughnuts to come.
I knew you'd do well, Homer.
Sports collectibles.
Wow, a baseball made out of Secretariat.
(gasping )
Tom Landry's hat, and it's autographed.
"To Berman's Dry Cleaning.
Best wishes, Tom Landry."
Why don't you buy it?
I can't buy that.
Only management-type guys with big salaries like me
can afford things like that.
(gasps) Guys like me.
I'm a guy like me.
All right, team, it's the fourth quarter.
The Lord gave us the atoms, and it's up to us
to make them dance.
Hey, if Tom Landry's hat doesn't motivate you,
then I should just quit right now.
I'm sorry, we're just a little tired, sir.
We've been pushing ourselves real hard
to get the reactor on-line.
Tired, eh?
What you guys need is hammocks.
Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
Sir, I need to know where can I get some business hammocks?
Hammocks?
My goodness, what an idea.
Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks.
Homer, there's four places.
-There's the Hammock Hut. That's on Third. -Uh-huh.
-There's Hammocks-R-US. -Got it.
That's on Third too.
-You got Put-Your-Butt-There. -Mm-hmm.
-That's on Third. -Yes.
-Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. -Right.
Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex.
It's the Hammock Complex down on Third.
Oh, the Hammock District.
That's right.
Ready for the linkup, Mr. Scorpio.
Homer, one second. I got to take care of this.
Very important. Be right back.
Fine.
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
This is Scorpio.
I have the doomsday device.
You have 72 hours to deliver the gold,
or you'll face the consequences.
And to prove I'm not bluffing, watch this.
(explosion)
Oh, my God, the 59th Street bridge.
Maybe it just collapsed on its own.
We can't take that chance.
You always say that.
I want to take a chance.
Collapsed on its own?
You... You have 72 hours.
See you. Back to the hammocks, my friend.
-Yes. -You know there's a little place
called Mary Ann's Hammocks.
The nice thing about that place
is Mary Ann gets in the hammock with you.
-(laughs) I'm just kidding. -Oh.
-You know who invented the hammock, Homer? -No.
That's something for you to do. Find that out.
Any sugar around here?
Try in there, Homer.
SCORPIO: Hi, Homer.
I'm keeping two of my fingers crossed
that you're going to have that nuclear generator
up to full power by tomorrow.
Yes, sir. No problemo.
Good. By the way, Homer.
What's your least favorite country? Italy or France?
-France. -(chuckling)
Nobody ever says Italy.
I never noticed this office before.
Why should you? It's mine.
Eh, you have any sugar around here?
Sugar? Sure.
There you go.
Sorry it's not in packages. Want some cream?
Uh... ye... no.
(ominous music playing)
♪ I like me ♪
♪ I'm as good as I can be ♪
♪ With a smile and a wave and a happy melody ♪
♪ I'm as good as... ♪
♪ I... ♪
Hooray!
Everyone's a winner.
(groans)
(humming)
Oh, the whole forest is blooming.
(sniffs)
(sneezes)
Excuse me.
Oh, my eyes are burning.
(loud sneezing)
(coughing)
Oh, little chipmunk friend.
I'm allergic to everything.
-(sneezes) -(chitters)
(sneezing)
-(sneezing continues) -(birds chirping)
(machine powering up)
Ingenious, isn't it, Mr. Bont?
Scorpio, you're totally mad.
Heh. I wouldn't point fingers, you jerk.
So, do you expect me to talk?
I don't expect anything from you,
except to die and be a very cheap funeral.
You're going to die now.
(grunts)
Stop him! He's supposed to die!
Nice work, Homer. Am I proud of you.
Well...
When you go home tonight, there's going to be
another story on your house.
-Thank you. -(guns firing)
I tackled a loafer at work today.
Hey, what's with you sad sacks?
I'm allergic to everything here.
My nose is so stuffed up
I can't even taste Mom's delicious boiled celery.
I've been so bored since we moved here,
I found myself drinking a glass of wine every day.
I know doctors say you should drink a glass and a half,
but I just can't drink that much.
Well, the Simpson men are doing fine, right, Bart?
You haven't even gotten in trouble at school.
I can't get in trouble at school.
They put me in the remedial class.
I'm surrounded by arsonists
and kids with mittens pinned to their jackets
all year 'round.
Hey, Dad...
ALL: We want to go back to Springfield.
What? We've got it great here.
And for the first time in my life,
I'm actually good at my job.
My team is way ahead of the weather machine and germ warfare divisions.
It's up to you, Homer.
Whatever you decide, that's what we'll do.
(whimpers)
WOMAN (on P.A.): "T" minus one minute, 35 seconds.
Uh... I've got a problem, Hank.
Oh, gee, Homer, could it wait a sec, please?
Well, it's pretty important.
-(grunting) -Say, what's going on?
I'm having a little trouble with the government.
Oh, those jerks always walking over the small businessman.
Don't get me started about the government.
What's the problem?
Well, my family wants to move back to Springfield.
Let them go. You'll stay here with me, we'll go bowling.
What's bothering them?
Nothing big. It's just a lot of little things.
Well, you can't argue with the little things.
It's the little things that make up life.
Homer, I'm disappointed,
but I think you need to do what's best for your family.
Well, thanks for everything, Hank.
WOMAN (on P.A.): "T" minus 14 seconds.
If you need anything, you call me.
Alright, what's the number?
I've never had to call my own company.
Someone will tell you upstairs. But Homer, on your way out,
if you want to kill somebody, it would help me a lot.
(evil laughter )
Hey, Homer, you're missing out on some fun.
Uh-oh. Sorry.
Let me just get my girlfriend, and I'll go.
Hey, Crystal, wake up.
(doorbell ringing)
Telegram.
"Project Arcturus couldn't have succeeded without you.
"This will get you a little closer to that dream of yours.
"It's not the Dallas Cowboys, but it's a start.
Drop me a line if you're on the East Coast, Hank Scorpio."
Ah, the Denver Broncos?
I think owning the Denver Broncos is pretty good.
-Yeah, yeah. -Well, explain to me why it isn't.
(sighs) You just don't understand football, Marge.
♪ Scorpio ♪
♪ He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth ♪
♪ Beware of, Scorpio... ♪
♪ His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world ♪
♪ And his employees health ♪
♪ He'll welcome you into his lair ♪
♪ Like the nobleman welcomes his guest ♪
♪ With free dental care ♪
♪ And a stock plan that helps you invest ♪
♪ But beware of his generous pensions ♪
♪ Plus three weeks paid vacation each year ♪
♪ And on Fridays the lunchroom ♪
♪ Serves hot dogs and burgers and beer! ♪
♪ He loves German beer! ♪
Shh!
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.