1 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:05,672 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:18,101 -(chalk screeches) -(bell rings) 3 00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:24,858 (work whistle blows) 4 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,947 -(sucking) -(register beeping) 5 00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:43,334 (jazzy solo) 6 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,380 (tires screech) 7 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,055 (tires screeching) 8 00:00:58,516 --> 00:00:59,768 (horn honks) 9 00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,103 (tires screech) 10 00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,315 D'oh! 11 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,609 -Aah! -(tires screech) 12 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:10,403 Huh? 13 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:24,959 {\an8}(barking) 14 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,711 {\an8}(yelping) 15 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,463 {\an8}HOMER: Marge, mail's here. 16 00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:30,507 {\an8}Bills, bills... 17 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:33,551 {\an8}Ooh, a free sample of gasoline! 18 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,262 {\an8}Um, a note from Publisher's Clearinghouse 19 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,515 {\an8}saying we're out of the running. 20 00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,934 {\an8}Oh, look, Lisa you got something. 21 00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:43,311 {\an8}Oh, foreign language institute. 22 00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:47,065 {\an8}Oh, my German verb wheel. 23 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:50,777 {\an8}Ich esse, er isst, wir essen... 24 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,779 {\an8}When, when? Ich bin hungrig. 25 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,781 {\an8}Homer, this is yours. 26 00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:56,241 {\an8}Yes! 27 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:58,785 {\an8}My precious cartoons. 28 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:01,204 {\an8}(laughing) 29 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:03,456 {\an8}"Who pumped ethyl?" 30 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,959 {\an8}(laughing) 31 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,836 {\an8}Oh, how come I never get any mail? 32 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,170 {\an8}I'm sorry, honey. 33 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,756 {\an8}Here. You can have the junk mail. 34 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,174 {\an8}"Gas your termites." 35 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:14,926 {\an8}"Freeze your termites." 36 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:16,845 {\an8}"Zap your termites." 37 00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,513 {\an8}"Save the termites." 38 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:19,681 {\an8}Hello. 39 00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,643 {\an8}"Dear occupant, 40 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,645 {\an8}"because of your fine credit history, 41 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:29,607 {\an8}you have been pre-approved for a Moneybank charge card." 42 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:30,984 Oh, baby! 43 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,360 Okay, let's see now. 44 00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:33,570 "Occupation." 45 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:34,863 Hmm... 46 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:35,947 Butt doctor. 47 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,240 "Income." 48 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,742 Whatever I finds, I keeps. 49 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:40,994 "Name." 50 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:42,162 Hmm... 51 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,789 "Name. Name." 52 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,709 My name is... 53 00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:50,628 Santa's Little Helper. 54 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,842 (dog barking) 55 00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,218 (body thuds) 56 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,012 HOMER: Marge, mail's here. 57 00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:00,638 Bills, bills... 58 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,515 Oh, a rejection letter 59 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:05,810 from the New Yorker subscription department. 60 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:09,647 Hmm. Who or what is Santos L. Halper? 61 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,319 Wow! My own credit card! 62 00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:16,821 Thanks, Santos. 63 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:17,822 (hacks) 64 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:18,948 A quarter? 65 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,491 Well, you're just the dog 66 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,368 that keeps on giving, aren't you? 67 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:27,624 And Zebra Girl and Zillionaire and Zoidzilla. 68 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:30,710 And will there be any more splurging today? 69 00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:33,046 Oh, my, yes. Hmm. 70 00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:35,548 I'll take that hardbound Radioactive Man collection. 71 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,175 Ah, a superb choice. 72 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:40,220 In Volume II, Radioactive Man travels through time 73 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:44,057 to defeat Jesse Owens at the 1936 Olympic Games. 74 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:46,601 Put it all on my credit card, my good man. 75 00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:48,770 Oh, pardon me, Santos-- 76 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,356 if that is your real name, Bart Simpson-- 77 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,566 but your phony credit card is no good here. 78 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,027 Now, make like my pants and split. 79 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,946 Oh... 80 00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,407 What good's a credit card if you can't even use it? 81 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,533 Hmm. 82 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,332 "Order by phone. 1-800..." 83 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:12,168 Our phone doesn't go up to 800. 84 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,045 Unless... 85 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,426 Mom, this is for you-- 86 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:23,221 15 pounds of Vancouver smoked salmon. 87 00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:25,014 Here. Smell it. 88 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,225 Oh, Bart, you didn't have to do that. 89 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:28,393 (sniffs) 90 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,769 Mmm... 91 00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:31,145 And for Homer... 92 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,648 Wow. A golf shirt. 93 00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,358 With my corporate logo on it. 94 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:36,859 (sniffs) 95 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,404 Oh, it smells like salmon, too. 96 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,948 -Thanks, boy. -And for the college-bound, 97 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,033 500 stay-alert capsules. 98 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,995 Wow. Trucker's choice. 99 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,579 That is so sweet. 100 00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:51,207 Bart, where did you get all this stuff? 101 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,460 Let me answer that question with... 102 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,545 Cookware! 103 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:58,798 A frying pan radio? 104 00:04:58,881 --> 00:04:59,966 Wow. 105 00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:01,801 ♪♪ (rock plays) 106 00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:04,137 ♪ Girl, you really got me going ♪ 107 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:08,016 ♪ You got me so I don't know what I'm doing... ♪ 108 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,351 (bells ringing, electronic warbling) 109 00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:18,651 (computerized Japanese voice): You a winna, ha ha ha! 110 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,111 You a winna, ha ha ha! 111 00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:22,613 You a winna, ha ha ha! 112 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:25,992 Halogen lamps? Kilim rugs? You can't afford this. How can you afford this? 113 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:29,704 You've been all edgy and suspicious ever since I gave you those pep pills. 114 00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:32,081 What are you talking about? I don't need pep pills to be suspicious. 115 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,875 If I want to comment on it, I'll comment on it. 116 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,460 Who's going to stop me-- you, pep pill boy? 117 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:36,878 Pep Boys pills, Beverly Sills. 118 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,881 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, boy. 119 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,716 I got to start taking those pills again. 120 00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:44,260 You think you're so great. 121 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,054 Whoa! 122 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:48,765 "The crowning achievement of the dogmaker's art. 123 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,850 "This limited edition collie comes fully trained 124 00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:54,729 "by Major Jonas Fong, A.L.B.D.A. 125 00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:57,732 "Only 800 will be bred. 126 00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:00,485 Quite possibly the world's best dog." 127 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,743 1200 bucks? 128 00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:10,203 I better just get one. 129 00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:12,580 (doorbell chimes) 130 00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:14,082 (barking) 131 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:25,718 (gasps) 132 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,095 Hey, where you going? 133 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,889 "Hello. My name is Laddie. 134 00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,724 "I've been trained to gather fruit for you 135 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,601 as a welcome gift." 136 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,853 (barks) 137 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,063 Good dog. 138 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:43,736 (screeches) 139 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,613 Okay, watch this. Watch. 140 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,532 Do a backflip, Laddie. 141 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,618 ALL: Oh! Oh! 142 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:51,953 He's so smart. 143 00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,746 And so handsome. 144 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,373 Bart, I just love him. 145 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:56,791 Hi, Marge. Hi, Santa's Little Helper. 146 00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:58,334 Hi, kid. 147 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,086 Hey, that's not Santa's Little Helper. 148 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,587 That's Laddie. 149 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,381 Bart says he won him at a church carnival 150 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,133 two towns over. 151 00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:07,635 In a truth-telling contest, right, Bart? 152 00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:09,762 To the best of my recollection, yes. 153 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,973 Wow. I got to start going to church. 154 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,724 What have you got for me, boy? 155 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,309 Hey, this says we should feed him 156 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,978 lots of eggs and olive oil 157 00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:18,855 to ensure a glossy coat. 158 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:22,525 Oh, yes. A dog like this you have to feed every day. 159 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,026 He's trained to do all sorts of stuff. 160 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,029 He can herd sheep and perform C.P.R. 161 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,824 "Some call it the dog that never sleeps, 162 00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:32,785 though it actually does... while jogging." 163 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,455 Jeez, that dog has more education than I do. 164 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,665 He's some kind of super dog. 165 00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,167 Hey, where'd he go? 166 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,669 (toilet flushing) 167 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,754 -Ooh! -Wow! 168 00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:56,267 (phone rings) 169 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:57,477 Hello. 170 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,770 MAN: Hello, Mr. Halper. 171 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,397 I'm calling from the Moneybank credit services department. 172 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,982 I was wondering if you had a chance 173 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,066 to read the threatening letter we sent you. 174 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,110 Uh... 175 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:08,863 Because you sound like a mature, responsible person 176 00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:10,781 who wouldn't want an unpaid credit card bill 177 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,992 to spoil all his hopes and dreams for the future-- 178 00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:15,453 dreams such as home ownership, boat ownership 179 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,330 and event attendance. 180 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:20,458 Now, when can I tell my supervisor, Mr. Robinson, 181 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,168 to expect payment? 182 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,211 Good dog. 183 00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,670 Come on, boy! 184 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:25,963 Let's go for a walk! 185 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:29,300 No, not you. Laddie. 186 00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:30,801 Come on, I got a job for you. 187 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:37,058 (whimpers) 188 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,772 Good boy. 189 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:51,280 We didn't see nothing if you didn't see nothing. 190 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:55,117 (gasps) Oh, no. 191 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,036 Repo men! 192 00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:58,704 Laddie, hide behind that bush there. 193 00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:04,126 Mom and Dad aren't home, are they? 194 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,212 No. They went for a walk with the Flanders. 195 00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:09,215 Bart, what's going on? Why are those repo guys taking all your stuff? 196 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,008 The dog and I got a credit card and-- 197 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:14,595 Credit card? Oh, I knew you were up to no good. 198 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,806 Okay, so I committed a little mail fraud. 199 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,766 Haven't I been punished enough? 200 00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:21,269 Hey, stop! You can take back the bassinet, 201 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,728 but the baby's ours! 202 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:27,066 And the last item is one $1,200 dog. 203 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:30,403 -Is that him? -(snarling) 204 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:37,910 Well, is he the dog or isn't he? 205 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,453 (gulps) 206 00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,163 Yeah. That's him, all right. 207 00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:48,921 Sorry, boy. I didn't plan this. 208 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,423 It just sort of happened. 209 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,313 Mom, can I feed Laddie at the table? 210 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:08,190 Oh, it's against the house rule... 211 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:11,319 Oh, I guess just this once. 212 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,905 Oh, I don't know about this dog. 213 00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:17,116 He's kind of... snooty. 214 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:21,287 Homer, are you wearing a tie 215 00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:22,913 to impress Laddie? 216 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,373 Do you think he noticed? 217 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,668 (grumbling) 218 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,462 Where's Santa's Little Helper? 219 00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:30,546 Who? 220 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,590 Um, I took him to a kennel... 221 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,967 two towns over just till the new dog gets settled. 222 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,969 Well, we wrecked the first dog. 223 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,013 We've got to treat this one right. 224 00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:41,515 Bart, why don't you take Laddie for another walk? 225 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:44,268 No. Bart had his turn. Let me! 226 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,771 I can't resist his charms. 227 00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:48,606 Let's all walk Laddie. 228 00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,445 Hey, this park is great! 229 00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:56,822 How come we never take Santa's Little Helper here? 230 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,658 Crowds give him gas. 231 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,619 Besides, he's happy just hanging around the house with Bart. 232 00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,496 Um... yeah. 233 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:06,540 Hey, that is one fine-looking animal you got there. 234 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,793 Wow. T.V.'s Kent Brockman! 235 00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,711 (laughs) 236 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,005 Hey, this fellow's not available to stud, is he? 237 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,590 You want some puppies, eh, Mr. Brockman? 238 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,133 No, no. Jessica's been fixed. 239 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:19,637 She just needs a little... attention. 240 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,722 Why, that canine has the proud bearing 241 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:24,684 and glossy fur coat of a Yale man. 242 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,227 Hello, little fella. 243 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,483 Smithers, I believe this dog was in Skull and Bones. 244 00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,318 Whoa, cool dog! 245 00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,654 Can he catch a Frisbee? 246 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,406 (barking) 247 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:43,452 (cheering) 248 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,664 Boy, Bart Laddie's the best dog in the world. 249 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,624 He's nothing like your old dog. 250 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,543 Santa's Little Helper? 251 00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,670 Guess I was the only one who loved him. 252 00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:54,255 You got that right. 253 00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:56,173 Remember the time he ate my goldfish 254 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,759 and you lied to me and said I never had any goldfish? 255 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,636 But why'd I have the bowl, Bart? 256 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,180 Why did I have the bowl? 257 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,890 Yeah. 258 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,392 He was a great dog. 259 00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,857 Oh, Santa's Little Helper, 260 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,608 I was crazy to give you up for another dog. 261 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,527 What have I done to you? 262 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,698 (horn blowing) 263 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,075 Captain, can't we go any faster? 264 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,786 I greatly fear we shan't be in Wimbledon by noonfall. 265 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,705 No worries, madam. 266 00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:30,583 Lumley! Shovel on more dogs, won't you? 267 00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,585 Aye, aye. More dogs! 268 00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:34,712 -(bell ringing) -More dogs! 269 00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,507 In you go. 270 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,135 (gasps) 271 00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,512 Nah. That's not too likely. 272 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:44,764 But still... 273 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,640 you're gone. 274 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,517 Oh. 275 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:49,727 Where you are you, boy? 276 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,645 (horn blowing) 277 00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,109 "Time for a walk." 278 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,445 Ohh! Again? 279 00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,614 We got to find out where he's keeping these. 280 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:04,158 I'd take him, but those cards are nontransferable. 281 00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:05,743 Ohh... 282 00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,664 CHILD: Help! Help! 283 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,959 (barking) 284 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,546 Now what? Aw, come on. 285 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,632 I want to go home. 286 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,259 So, Laddie, 287 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:24,512 thank you for your heroic rescue. 288 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:27,932 And, baby Gerald, we can't help but wonder 289 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,643 what mischief you'll get into next. 290 00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:33,604 (applause) 291 00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,189 Now can we go home? 292 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:36,857 Laddie saved the day, Simpson. 293 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:40,027 Boy, we sure could use a dog like that on the force. 294 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,780 Why don't you guys take him? 295 00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:44,782 I thought he was the right dog for me 296 00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,784 but I guess I made a mistake. 297 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,786 Really? No fooling? 298 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,621 Aw, gee, thanks, mister. 299 00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:52,289 We'll take real good care of him 300 00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,083 and we'll play with him every day. 301 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,543 Honest. (grunting) 302 00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:01,215 Oh, Maggie, you got oatmeal all over. 303 00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:02,633 Homie, would you clean her off? 304 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,134 Can do. 305 00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:06,637 Laddie! 306 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:07,888 (whistling) 307 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,431 Come here, boy! 308 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,017 Who wants to lick a messy baby? 309 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,103 -Laddie? -Uh, Dad? 310 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,855 Laddie's not coming. 311 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:19,316 -I gave him away. -What's the matter, Bart? 312 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,110 Weren't you happy with him? 313 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,404 No. He just wasn't the right dog for me. 314 00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:25,030 I'm sure he'll be happy as a police dog. 315 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,533 He better know how to keep his mouth shut. 316 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:30,077 Well, if that's what you think is best. 317 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,745 Let's just go down to the kennel 318 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,747 and get Santa's Little Helper back. 319 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:36,792 Uh, well, we can't. 320 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,961 He's not in a kennel. 321 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,171 I gave him away, too, and I don't know where he is. 322 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:42,798 You gave both dogs away? 323 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,593 You know how I feel about giving! 324 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:48,721 I'm sorry. I know it's wrong. I messed everything up, 325 00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:50,806 and now I don't have any dogs at all. 326 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,808 There, there. 327 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,101 Shut up, boy. 328 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,686 We'll just get you a new dog. 329 00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:57,730 I don't want a new dog. 330 00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,356 I want Santa's Little Helper. 331 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,984 Well, crying isn't going to bring him back... 332 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,778 unless your tears smell like dog food. 333 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,822 So you can either sit there crying 334 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,782 and eating can after can of dog food 335 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,243 until your tears smell enough like dog food 336 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,661 to make your dog come back 337 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,956 or you can go out there and find your dog. 338 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,834 You're right. I'll do it. 339 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,878 Rats. I almost had him eating dog food. 340 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,175 I'm going to get the dog back. 341 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:27,968 HOMER: The bad dog or the good dog? 342 00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,511 -The bad dog. -Oh, good. 343 00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:37,478 You got to give me back my floor. 344 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:40,481 My customers are walking around on the pipes! 345 00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:41,732 Hey, next time, pay your bills. 346 00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,776 But I don't want to. 347 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:46,278 {\an8}Excuse me, sir. Did you repossess this dog from a guy 348 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:49,031 named Santos L. Halper? 349 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,742 Hmm. Yeah, yeah. I remember this mutt. 350 00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:53,535 We, uh, sold him to some guy 351 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:54,995 wearing a dress. 352 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,623 No, I didn't buy your dog. 353 00:15:57,706 --> 00:16:00,167 I got to go keep an eye on Selma. 354 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,294 She thinks she swallowed a Band-Aid. 355 00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:07,925 (heavy brogue) Yeah, I bought your mutt, and I ate him. 356 00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:10,052 (gasps) 357 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:13,222 I ate his little face. I ate his guts. 358 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,808 And I 'ate the way he's always barking! 359 00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:19,770 So I gave him to the church. 360 00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:23,732 Oh, I see. You hate him so you gave him to the church. 361 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:27,361 Aye. I also ate the mess he left on me rug. 362 00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,696 You heard me. 363 00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:34,410 Mmm, yes, I remember Satan's Little Helper... 364 00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,578 littering the rectory with his dirt, 365 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,205 biting me in the apse. 366 00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:40,124 He unholied the holy water. 367 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,667 That's him, all right. 368 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,585 I'll be happy to take him off your hands. 369 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,337 I'm afraid that's impossible, Bart. 370 00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:46,714 He's no longer among us. 371 00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:49,383 (gasps) You didn't crucify him? 372 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:52,553 (hearty laugh) 373 00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:55,014 No. He's safely with one of our parishioners. 374 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,182 I'll give you his address, if you like. 375 00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,144 And then, buy something or get out! 376 00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:01,145 Angel. 377 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:09,028 Hey, it's him. It's Santa's Little Helper! 378 00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,745 -(buzzes) -MAN: Yes? 379 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,204 My name is Bart Simpson. 380 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,373 I have to talk to you about your dog. 381 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:22,666 Give me one minute. 382 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,668 Okay... showtime. 383 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,462 (wicked laugh) 384 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,089 Please, mister... 385 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,216 (clears throat) No. Let me do that again. 386 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,760 Please, mister. 387 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,678 (sobbing): Ple-he-he-he-ase... 388 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,764 (gasps) 389 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,515 Hi, there. How can I help you? 390 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:39,975 You're the guy who owns the dog? 391 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,810 Yep. His name's Sprinkles. 392 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:44,605 -Sprinkles? -Yeah. He's my best buddy, huh? 393 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:47,107 Especially since my parrot decided to stop talking. 394 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:50,694 Polly? Polly want to say hi to our guest? Huh? 395 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:53,322 Fine. Be that way. 396 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,324 Now, what can I do for you, son? 397 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,326 Oh, nothing. Forget it. 398 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,665 So, that's my plan. 399 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,667 I'm gonna break into the blind man's yard 400 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,544 and swipe the dog. 401 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,713 Bart, that is a new low. 402 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,382 Hey, I'm not saying it's going to be a dance around the maypole. 403 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,134 I won't tell Mom and Dad 404 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,095 but only because I want the dog back. 405 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,597 Just try not to freak out the blind man. 406 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,724 I can't promise I'll try, 407 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,476 but I'll try to try. 408 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:26,939 (whistles softly) 409 00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,524 (whispers): Here, boy. Come on. 410 00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:29,525 (muffled yelp) 411 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,068 Oh... 412 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,659 (water splashing) 413 00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:40,452 -(squishing) -Ew! 414 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,539 Psst! 415 00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:47,793 Oh! I missed you so much, boy. 416 00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:48,877 Come on. Let's get out of here. 417 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,379 Now, keep quiet, okay? 418 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:52,673 (barks) 419 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:53,799 MITCHELL: Sprinkles? 420 00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,175 Is there somebody down there? 421 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:56,426 Come on, boy. Let's blow. 422 00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,722 Who's there? I can take you on. 423 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,307 You want to try me? Come on! 424 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,021 Where is he, Sprinkles? Come on. Let's get him. 425 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:11,900 No, no, no. Not the piano. I can't play now. 426 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,403 -(squeaks) -(door slams) 427 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,780 Ha! I may be blind, 428 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,782 but you just ran into a closet. 429 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,409 -D-ohh! -(lock clicks) 430 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:24,746 Heh-heh! 431 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,748 Hey, burglar! 432 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,333 I hope you're having a good time in there, 433 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,669 'cause the police will be here any minute. 434 00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:33,297 No, mister. Please, I 'm just a kid. 435 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:37,134 I... I only came to get my dog back. 436 00:19:37,217 --> 00:19:38,468 Your dog? 437 00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:40,929 (whines) 438 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,306 And I miss him so much. 439 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,433 And I know you like him, but I like him, too. 440 00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:46,310 And he was mine first. I know I don't deserve him. 441 00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:48,103 So what this comes down to is 442 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,272 you want a blind man 443 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:51,523 to give up his only companion? 444 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,858 Yes, please. 445 00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:55,485 Hmm. Tell you what: 446 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:59,072 Why don't we let the dog decide? 447 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,490 -Come on, Sprinkles! -Come on, Santa's Little Helper! 448 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,034 -Here, Sprinkles! -I'm sorry! 449 00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:05,120 I'm blind, Come to the blind man! 450 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,915 I'll let you be with me all the time. 451 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,583 I need you more, come on! 452 00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:13,378 (overlapping chatter) 453 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,339 Come on! 454 00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:18,759 Attaboy! Oh, I knew you'd come! 455 00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:20,093 Give me a kiss! 456 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,804 Oh-oh-oh. Yeah. 457 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,432 Sounds like you won. 458 00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:26,600 Congratulations. 459 00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:29,228 Oh, geez. I'm sorry. 460 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,396 I wish there was some way we could both have a dog. 461 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,148 (pounding) 462 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,860 -(doorbell rings) -Hello. 463 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:38,695 Police. 464 00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,949 Ah, man, if this one's not the right house, I quit. 465 00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,575 It's okay, Officer. False alarm. 466 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:44,910 (barking) 467 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,874 Uh... hey, who's that! 468 00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,834 Well, I like you, too. 469 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:56,338 Well, looks like somebody's made a new best friend. 470 00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,590 (laughs) Okay, boy. 471 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,384 That's enough. That's... 472 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:01,843 That's not for doggies. 473 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,345 Don't... 474 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:04,554 Oh, jeez. 475 00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,598 (barks) 476 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,767 (sniffs) Marijuana. 477 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,561 Well. I guess he didn't like you after all. 478 00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:13,981 He just smelled your narcotics. 479 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,274 Book him, boys. 480 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:16,400 Hold on, Chief. 481 00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:17,526 It might be medicinal. 482 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,569 Uh... yeah. M-medicinal. 483 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,655 I... without it, I could, uh... 484 00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:24,199 go even... blinder. 485 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,618 Right? 486 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,412 Eh, this might take a while, kid. 487 00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:30,706 Why don't you and your buddy run along? 488 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,499 Bye, Laddie. 489 00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:35,002 Come on, boy. Let's go home and have some fun, huh? 490 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,587 That cat's been strutting around like she owns the place. 491 00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:38,839 (reggae music playing) 492 00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:46,471 ♪ Ooh, yeah ♪ 493 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,098 LOU: Hey, hey, everybody. 494 00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:50,058 How are you doing? 495 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,227 Hey, what's up there? 496 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,104 {\an8}-WIGGUM: I love this song. -LOU: Hey, Chief. 497 00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:56,106 {\an8}WIGGUM: Shut up! I love this song. 498 00:21:56,189 --> 00:21:58,817 {\an8}-LOU: ♪ Ooh, yeah ♪ -WIGGUM: Shut up, Lou! 499 00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:01,611 {\an8}♪ I want to jam it with you ♪ 500 00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:03,613 {\an8}(Wiggum sings over Bob Marley) ♪ We're jammin' ♪ 501 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:05,407 {\an8}♪ Jammin' ♪ 502 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:08,702 {\an8}♪ And I hope you like jammin', too ♪ 503 00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:11,079 {\an8}-LOU: Yeah! -♪ Ain't no rules, ain't no vow ♪ 504 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,498 {\an8}♪ We can do it anyhow ♪ 505 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:16,960 {\an8}-♪ I and I will see you through ♪ -LOU: See you through, baby! 506 00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:19,504 {\an8}♪ 'Cause every day, we pay the price ♪ 507 00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:21,631 {\an8}-♪ With a little sacrifice ♪ -WIGGUM: ♪ The thing with sacrifice ♪ 508 00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,425 {\an8}♪ Jammin' till the jam is through ♪ 509 00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:25,469 {\an8}-LOU: Jammin's through, baby! -WIGGUM: ♪ Jamming ♪ 510 00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:27,304 {\an8}-♪ We're jammin' ♪ -WIGGUM: I can't really remember that. 511 00:22:27,387 --> 00:22:29,264 {\an8}WIGGUM: ♪ We're jamming ♪ 512 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:32,642 {\an8}♪ To think that jammin' was a thing of the past ♪ 513 00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:34,728 {\an8}♪ We're jammin'... ♪ 514 00:22:34,811 --> 00:22:36,521 {\an8}LOU: Hey, man, I'm jammin'. 515 00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:39,524 {\an8}♪ And I hope you like jammin'... ♪ 516 00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:43,737 -Shh! -WIGGUM: Jamming. 517 00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:47,074 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.