1 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:06,297 {\an8}♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:07,257 (tires screech) 3 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,427 D'oh! 4 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,262 -Aah! -(tires screech) 5 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,224 D'oh! 6 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,319 {\an8}(many bottles clinking) 7 00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:30,572 {\an8}Hmm? 8 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,413 {\an8}ANNOUNCER (on TV): And now, the thrilling conclusion of... 9 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:41,207 {\an8}"Colonel Dracula Joins the Navy!" 10 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,501 {\an8}-Uh, Colonel? -DRACULA: Blahh! 11 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,838 {\an8}-(clinking continues) -Hmm? 12 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:49,591 {\an8}Lisa, what in the heck are you doing? 13 00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,593 {\an8}Oh, it's for my junior achievers club. 14 00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:53,762 {\an8}We're trying to earn money by recycling. 15 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,847 {\an8}Recycling is useless, Lise. 16 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:58,099 {\an8}Once the sun burns out, this planet is doomed. 17 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,060 {\an8}You're just making sure we spend our last days 18 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,478 {\an8}using inferior products. 19 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,021 {\an8}Well, I think it's a great idea. 20 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,900 {\an8}Mom! Mom! 21 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:09,277 {\an8}You're mixing polyethylene with polyurethane. 22 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,780 {\an8}-Marge! -Well, I'm sorry. 23 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,323 {\an8}And you have to cut these up first. 24 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,283 {\an8}Otherwise, animals get caught in them. 25 00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:16,910 {\an8}Only the stupid ones. 26 00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:18,578 {\an8}I could still use more paper. 27 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,039 {\an8}Hey, I know where there's lots of paper. 28 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,835 {\an8}(laughing) 29 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,421 {\an8}Dad, you're not supposed to have fun recycling. 30 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,881 {\an8}This is serious. 31 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:32,967 {\an8}Oh, okay. 32 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,969 {\an8}(choked-up crying) 33 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,806 {\an8}SKINNER: What a load of garbage. 34 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:40,850 {\an8}I'm ecstatic. With the money from this, we're within striking distance 35 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,477 {\an8}of our trip to Albany! 36 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,771 (cheering) 37 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,774 Super. Now, let's give a big Junior Achievers' 38 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,484 welcome to our guest speaker-- 39 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:51,444 I know he can teach us a lot about business-- 40 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,071 Mr. C. Montgomery burns. 41 00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:56,616 (scattered applause) 42 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,870 I'll keep it short and sweet. 43 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,832 Family, religion, friendship. 44 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,042 These are the three demons you must slay 45 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,710 if you wish to succeed in business. 46 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,796 When opportunity knocks, 47 00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:11,464 you don't want to be driving to the maternity hospital 48 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,008 or sitting in some phony baloney church. 49 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,719 Or synagogue. Questions? 50 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,350 Well, uh, I'm going to take advantage 51 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:24,018 of this rare opportunity 52 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,354 even if you children aren't interested. 53 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:27,689 Which do you think is more important-- 54 00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:30,608 hard work or stick-to-itiveness? 55 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,236 -Are there any real questions? -Yes. 56 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,822 Um, does your plant have a recycling program? 57 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:39,117 Re-cy-cling? 58 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,296 I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that term, 59 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,464 you adorable little ragamuffin. 60 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,300 Hmm. You never heard of recycling? 61 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,759 It means to reuse things 62 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,344 to conserve our natural resources. 63 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,722 Oh, so Mother Nature needs a favor. 64 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:03,016 Well, maybe she should have thought of that 65 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:05,143 when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys. 66 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,936 Nature started the fight for survival, 67 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,022 and now she wants to quit because she's losing. 68 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,690 Well, I say-- hard cheese. 69 00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,358 But nature's not our enemy. 70 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,485 Well, surely, you agree we can do without her. 71 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,362 No, I don't agree. 72 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,447 No? 73 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,073 How dare you question Mr. Burns? 74 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,491 I'll handle it, Smithers. 75 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,535 (chuckles) Shut up, little girl. 76 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:25,413 If I had spent my life listening to dismal Doras like you, 77 00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:27,916 I wouldn't be worth $200 million today. 78 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,084 But according to your most recent biography, 79 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,961 you only have $100 million today. 80 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,504 I... I... 81 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,382 (sputters) 82 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:37,967 Um... 83 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,385 Actually, sir, it's... 84 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,221 considerably less than that. 85 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:46,184 I, um... have to go. 86 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,520 (clapping alone) 87 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,688 Monty Burns, everybody. 88 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,108 I've called you all here 89 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,152 because I need some honest answers. 90 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,904 What is my current financial situation? 91 00:03:57,987 --> 00:03:59,322 -Great. -Great. 92 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,115 -I hear great. -All right, well, 93 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,367 let's have a look at my stock portfolio. 94 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:08,581 Hmm. Confederated Slaveholdings. How's that doing? 95 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,709 It's, uh... uh, steady. 96 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,378 I'm sure all your stocks are doing well, sir. 97 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,047 -After all, you chose them. -(murmuring approval) 98 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:18,716 Well, let's get out the old stock ticker and have a look. 99 00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,513 Here's where I stopped checking it last time-- 100 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,766 September, 1929... 101 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:29,644 Oh, no... Oh, no. 102 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,771 Oh, no. 103 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:34,232 Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash? 104 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:37,986 Um, well, sir, it happened 25 years before I was born. 105 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,029 Oh, that's your excuse for everything. 106 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,365 I've got to do something to get my money back quickly. 107 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,325 This calls for an aggressive trading strategy. 108 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,452 ALL: Good idea, sir. 109 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,788 Take 50% of my money and put it in the blue chips-- 110 00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:50,915 Trans-Atlantic Zeppelin, Amalgamated Spats, 111 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,668 Congreves Inflammable Powders, U.S. Hay-- 112 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,586 and sink the rest into that up-and-coming 113 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,422 Baltimore Opera Hat company. 114 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,340 That should set things right again, eh, boys? 115 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:00,758 -Absolutely. -Oh, yes, sir. 116 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,051 Genius. "A" all the way. 117 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,386 Can't go wrong with Congreves. 118 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:12,937 A half-ton of newspaper, and all we get is 75 cents? 119 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,565 That won't even cover the gas I use to go to the store 120 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,442 to buy the twine to tie up the bundles. 121 00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:20,778 It sounds like you're working for your car. 122 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:24,115 Simplify, man. 123 00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:25,575 (muttering) 124 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,702 Sorry, kids, the trip to Albany is off, 125 00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:30,121 -and there's to be no more recycling. -(kids protesting) 126 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,248 But we didn't do that badly. 127 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,834 We collected enough paper to save one whole tree. 128 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,671 (children crying) 129 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,340 CHILD: Oh, Mommy, help. 130 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,261 Are you saying my money's all gone? 131 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,555 -ALL: Mm-hmm. -But... 132 00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:49,390 I made all the right moves, didn't I? 133 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,351 -Oh, yes, sir. -Every move a right one. 134 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,854 I see it all now. 135 00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:56,647 You're just a bunch of yes men. 136 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,191 I was making the wrong moves, 137 00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,400 and you were too gutless to tell me. 138 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:00,651 Isn't that right? 139 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,403 -Oh, yes, sir. -Dead on, sir. 140 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,655 Then I'll fix this myself. 141 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,741 Smithers, take out another mortgage on the plant. 142 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:08,951 Well, the bank has already foreclosed on the plant. 143 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,620 And your house, sir. 144 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:13,915 But... what will I do? 145 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,750 Well, the first thing you'll have to do 146 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:17,126 is move out of the bank's house. 147 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,546 -I'll help you pack. -(whimpers) 148 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,096 (faucet squeaks) 149 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,348 -Go on. Get out of here. -(birds squawking) 150 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,773 And I'm sure a pro wrestler such as yourself 151 00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:41,567 will appreciate all the closet space, Hit Man. 152 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,610 (sniffs) 153 00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:44,320 Ooh... 154 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,364 this place has got old-man stink. 155 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:49,325 -Ooh... -Don't listen to him, sir. 156 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,036 You've got an enchanting musk. 157 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,621 And you wouldn't even be the only wrestler 158 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,248 in the neighborhood. 159 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,707 The Shrieking Sheik lives just three doors away. 160 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,584 (distant shrieking) 161 00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,378 Hey-hey, I'll take it. 162 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:09,679 Uh, would it be all right if I kept this portrait... 163 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,806 to remind me of better times? 164 00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:14,892 Why would I want a picture of a pitiful pencil-neck geek? 165 00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:15,977 Yeah. 166 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,062 Why, indeed. 167 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,781 I'll make sure he forwards your social security check, sir. 168 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,408 Mmm. Excellent. 169 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:36,164 Homer! You didn't tell me Mr. Burns went broke and lost 170 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,915 the nuclear power plant. 171 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:40,126 Now, I can't remember every little thing 172 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,003 that happens in my day. 173 00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,255 You told me about that candy bar you found three times. 174 00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:45,882 You found a candy bar? 175 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,258 Oh, yes. Gather 'round, my son, 176 00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:49,177 and I shall tell you a tale... 177 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,137 I normally don't laugh at other people's misfortunes, 178 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,973 but on behalf of the recycling community... 179 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:56,809 Ha! It couldn't have happened to anyone more deserving. 180 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,145 They're not going to close the plant, are they? 181 00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,439 No. The bank put Lenny in charge. 182 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:05,693 Uh... 183 00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:07,778 attention, everybody. 184 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:10,114 Uh... 185 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:13,242 Uh... work harder. Bye. 186 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,370 -(groans) -(knuckles crack) 187 00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:20,583 Well, sir, 188 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,126 I have to get to work. 189 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,920 Lenny's a real bear on tardiness. 190 00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:25,296 Are there any chores I can do? 191 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,388 -(shattering) -Uh, no, no. 192 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:38,935 Uh, you just stay here and maintain your dignity. 193 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,603 (door closes) 194 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:45,149 (water dripping) 195 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,693 Ah. Here's a chance to earn my keep. 196 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,278 I will go out and get these items 197 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,488 from the food jobber. 198 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,284 Grocery store, please. 199 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,166 I am riding on the bus. 200 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:05,795 Hey, aren't you that guy everybody hates? 201 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,422 Oh, my, no. I'm Monty Burns. 202 00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:13,511 I'm shopping. 203 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,766 Oh, my. 204 00:09:18,849 --> 00:09:20,226 I wonder which is the cereal for me? 205 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,188 Um, oh, excuse me. 206 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,440 Could you tell me where I might find the "Burns O's"? 207 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,734 Sorry, pops, they don't put nobodies 208 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,736 on cereal boxes. 209 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,446 Hmm... 210 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:36,033 well, I suppose this one looks a bit like me. 211 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:42,748 Whoo. Thank you, shoppie. 212 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,333 I ventured in to search for milk 213 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,335 when the door snapped shut behind me. 214 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,255 Yeah, those dairy cases are death traps. 215 00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:51,173 Ketchup. 216 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,883 Catsup. 217 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,094 Ketchup. 218 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:56,304 Catsup. 219 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,265 Catsup. 220 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:02,059 Huh. I'm in way over my head. 221 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,020 He's, uh, talking to the ketchup now. 222 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:05,396 Burns is sure acting nutty. 223 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,273 Maybe going broke and losing his plant 224 00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:09,650 destroyed his brain. 225 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:12,111 Could you come along with us, sir? 226 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:15,031 Are you here to solve my ketchup problem? 227 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,282 Yes, that's right. 228 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,997 Where are you taking me? 229 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,498 What's happening? 230 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,250 Relax. You've gone off your nut, 231 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,502 so we're stuffing you into an old folks home. 232 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:31,255 Those, uh, store guys signed the commitment papers. 233 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,923 But... I'm shopping. 234 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,134 (Homer glugging) 235 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,221 Here you go, honey. 236 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,307 That's about all the recycling-- 237 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,142 (hiccups) ...I can handle today. 238 00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:44,393 Dad, if you just drink one more, 239 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,312 I'll have a full bag. 240 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:49,357 Oh, but Daddy doesn't feel so good. 241 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:50,858 Uh... there's got to be 242 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,735 more trash around here somewhere. 243 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,405 Hey, why don't you try the old folks home? 244 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,158 They practically live in their own filth. 245 00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:00,409 Thanks, Dad. 246 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,161 You're welcome, honey. 247 00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:03,913 That's the activity room. 248 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,248 We're not allowed in there. 249 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:09,543 That's the library. Not allowed in there either. 250 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,837 And don't even think about going in the game room. 251 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,757 Egad, man, how are we supposed to pass the time? 252 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,468 Best bet is to stake yourself out a good spot 253 00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,345 at the staring window. 254 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,057 (shudders) 255 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,101 ♪ Don't tell my heart ♪ 256 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,936 ♪ My achy-breaky heart ♪ 257 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:31,148 ♪ I just don't think it understands ♪ 258 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,693 Come on, Mr. Burns, join the fun! 259 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,488 That's the spirit. 260 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:43,744 So, this is how the Monty Burns saga ends. 261 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,955 Oh, if I hadn't surrounded myself 262 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,832 with those spineless yes men... 263 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,209 LISA: What do you mean you don't have anything to recycle? 264 00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:52,378 You must have some magazines or newspapers. 265 00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:55,214 That voice. That shrill, disagreeable voice. 266 00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:56,799 It's her! 267 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:59,510 Sorry, we're not allowed to read newspapers. 268 00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:01,721 They angry up the blood. 269 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,389 You! The troublemaking girl! 270 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:06,559 My name is Lisa, Mr. Burns. Lisa Simpson. 271 00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,602 It doesn't matter, what your name is, you idiot. 272 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,771 What I want to know is, will you help me get my money back? 273 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:14,066 Ha. I'd never help you. You're the worst man in the world. 274 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,569 Yes. That's the kind of moxie I'm looking for! 275 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,821 -You're hired! -No, I'm not! 276 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,365 Sir, I'm so sorry my grocer committed you. 277 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,783 We'll never shop there again. 278 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,118 Not now, Smithers. 279 00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,786 I've got an empire to rebuild. 280 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,788 And the person who's going to help me is... 281 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,165 that girl. 282 00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,542 ("That Girl" theme playing) 283 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:36,422 -Please. -No. 284 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:44,555 Please. 285 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,849 No. 286 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,603 -Please. -No. 287 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,564 (doorbell ringing) 288 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,903 Sir, we've never met before, but my name is Mr. Burns, 289 00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:01,572 and I want your daughter to help make me rich again. 290 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:02,740 You mean Maggie? 291 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,827 Ah, the baby who shot me. 292 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,413 No, I was referring to your other daughter. 293 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,833 Lisa, you have a guest. 294 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,960 So, uh... 295 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,837 How's life in the gutter? 296 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,715 You again? 297 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,259 I've realized the error of my ways, Lisa. 298 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:24,136 I need someone with your integrity to help me. 299 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:28,557 Please? Don't refuse this poor old man. 300 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:32,812 Uh... 301 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,980 well... 302 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,732 if I did agree to help you, you could only earn money 303 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,235 by doing good, socially responsible things. 304 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,862 -Nothing evil. -"Nothing evil." 305 00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,865 That's exactly the kind of radical thinking I need. 306 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,909 It's a deal. 307 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,746 See that, boy? 308 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,873 Why aren't you making any business deals? 309 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,042 (whining): I'll do it this afternoon. 310 00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,423 You mean there are actually people 311 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,592 who will pay good money for garbage? 312 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,219 Not good money, really. 313 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,054 Each can will get you a nickel. 314 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,139 Oh, don't pooh-pooh a nickel, Lisa. 315 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,475 A nickel will buy you a steak and kidney pie, 316 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:12,977 a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake, 317 00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,728 and a newsreel, 318 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,730 with enough change left over to ride the trolley 319 00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:19,608 from Battery Park to the polo grounds. 320 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,151 There's a can. 321 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:26,740 You have to cut these six-pack holders up. 322 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,576 Otherwise, fish get trapped in them. 323 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:29,994 I see. 324 00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:35,040 Ha-ha! 325 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,892 My first dollar. Thanks to you, Lisa 326 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,768 and our hemp-smoking friend. 327 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:57,146 Shine on, you crazy diamond. 328 00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:00,524 Sounds like somebody's living in the past. 329 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,943 Contemporize, man. 330 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:06,572 Well, Lisa, as my advisor, you're entitled to 10%. 331 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,199 Oh, I'm not doing this for the money. 332 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,660 I'm just happy knowing that future generations 333 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,537 will enjoy unspoiled median strips 334 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,915 and pristine highway embankments. 335 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,750 There's a can. 336 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,836 And from our "it's funny when it happens to them" file, 337 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,255 remember millionaire C. Montgomery Burns? 338 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,549 The man who blocked out our sun, ran over a local boy, 339 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:28,344 and stole Christmas from 1981 to 1985? 340 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,305 Well, guess who's flat broke and picking up trash for a living? 341 00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:34,350 Please be Flanders, please be Flanders please be Flanders. 342 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,645 Excuse me, Mr. Burns. Now that you're completely ruined, 343 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,980 -How do you feel? -Excellent. 344 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,607 I'm on my way back to the top. 345 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:44,902 I've turned these cans into "can do." 346 00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:47,655 Well, you smell terrible. Good luck to you, sir. 347 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,740 Wow, he went from stinking rich 348 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,450 to just plain stinking. 349 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,786 (laughing) 350 00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:56,538 -Good one, Mom. -Oh, you're so bad, honey. 351 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,207 You guys shouldn't laugh at him. 352 00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,626 Mr. Burns has changed. He's different now. 353 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:03,754 -Yeah, he's broke. -(laughing) 354 00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:05,005 Two in a row. 355 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,674 (sighing) 356 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,891 Oh, you've really turned my life around 357 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,559 these past few weeks, Lisa. 358 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,104 I've got my own business again, my beloved employees. 359 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:22,606 Oh, consarn it... 360 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:26,068 Come on, let's pick up the pace, you neglected old nincompoops. 361 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:27,820 Mr. Burns, if you want people to do a good job, 362 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,488 you can't bully them. 363 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:30,990 You have to show them they're appreciated. 364 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,242 Ooh, capital idea, partner. 365 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,703 People, if we meet this week's quota, 366 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,371 I'll take you to the most duck-filled pond 367 00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:39,206 you ever sat by. 368 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:40,874 Oh, hot diggity, that's how they got me 369 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,334 to vote for Lyndon Larouche. 370 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,923 Wow, even I didn't know 371 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,550 he was so committed to recycling. 372 00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:53,012 See? I told you Mr. Burns has changed. See? 373 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:55,139 Lisa, nobody likes a gloater. 374 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,724 -Right, Homey? -Uh-huh. 375 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:57,808 See? 376 00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:00,477 (applause) 377 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:01,979 Yes, thank you, everyone. 378 00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:04,231 But 10% of your applause should go to 379 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,858 my little partner, Lisa Simpson. 380 00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:08,694 For, if it were not for her infectious moralizing, 381 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:11,613 we would not be here today to witness the unveiling of-- 382 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,366 the Li'l Lisa Recycling Plant. 383 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,577 (applause) 384 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,495 Oh, ain't that cute? 385 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,248 Makes Little Debbie look like a pile of puke. 386 00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,750 Would you like to be the first 387 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,293 to take a tour of the plant, Li'l Lisa? 388 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,588 I'd love to, partner. 389 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,923 The whole plant is environmentally sound. 390 00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:32,092 It's powered by old newspapers. 391 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:35,345 The machinery is made entirely of used cans, and the windows 392 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:38,432 are from the old liquor bottles we collected. 393 00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:41,894 Hey, I thought I told you to stop licking my windows. 394 00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:44,104 I know, you told me... 395 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,273 and when I woke up this morning, I said, 396 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,942 "Barney, you're not going to lick that man's..." 397 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,944 I'm so proud of you, Mr. Burns. 398 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,738 You're getting your fortune back, 399 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,406 and you're doing it without endangering the planet 400 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,533 or cozying up to the Aspen crowd. 401 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:59,620 Oh, hold your accolades till the end of the tour. 402 00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,246 You haven't seen the best part. 403 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,040 I couldn't watch your demonstration 404 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:04,875 of the fish caught in the plastic rings 405 00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:06,877 without getting an idea. 406 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:07,878 Look out over the water. 407 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,928 I figured if one six-pack holder will catch one fish, 408 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:19,598 a million sewn together will catch a million fish. 409 00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:20,724 Watch. 410 00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:23,852 What's going on? 411 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,522 Ah, I call it the "Burns Omni-Net." 412 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:28,941 it sweeps the sea clean. 413 00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,067 (gasps) 414 00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:39,576 Oh, dear God. 415 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:40,953 BURNS: I call our product 416 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,955 "Li'l Lisa's Patented Animal Slurry." 417 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:45,165 it's a high-protein feed for farm animals, 418 00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:46,792 insulation for low-income housing, 419 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,418 a powerful explosive, 420 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,129 and a top-notch engine coolant. 421 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,755 And best of all, 422 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,925 it's made from 100 percent recycled animals. 423 00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:57,177 Oh, I think I'm going to be sick. 424 00:18:57,261 --> 00:19:00,764 Oh, a spoonful of slurry will cure what ails you. 425 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,225 Ah! You haven't changed at all. 426 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,602 You're still evil, and when you're trying 427 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,479 to be good, you're even more evil. 428 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,565 I don't understand. 429 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,067 Pigs needs food, engines need coolant, 430 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,986 dynamiters need dynamite. 431 00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:16,446 I'm supplying it to them at a tidy profit, 432 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,782 and not a single sea creature was wasted. 433 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,702 You inspired it all, Li'l Lisa. 434 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,960 Stop! Don't recycle! 435 00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:32,838 It's murder! You're helping Mr. Burns! 436 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,883 (robotic monotone) But you told us to recycle. 437 00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:38,010 You convinced us it was good. 438 00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:41,889 No, it's evil! Please, stop recycling! 439 00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:48,812 (robotic monotones) Stop. You can't mix plastic with paper. 440 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:55,194 (gasps) Oh! Oh! 441 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,154 (tires screech) 442 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,242 (sobbing) 443 00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:06,246 Oh, I can't get the smell of slurry out of my clothes. 444 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:10,083 I was a fool to help that horrible old man. 445 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,586 I hope you learned your lesson, Lisa. 446 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:14,588 Never help anyone. 447 00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:16,173 (doorbell ringing) 448 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,845 Simpson, what are you doing here? 449 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,889 -Why aren't you at work? -I made a bad mistake, 450 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:26,016 and Lenny sent me home to think about what I did. 451 00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:28,310 But I don't remember what it was, so I'm watching TV. 452 00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:30,854 Well, Lenny's reign of terror is over. 453 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,689 Mr. Burns bought the plant back this morning. 454 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:34,483 -And-- -Enough chitchat. I need to see Lisa. 455 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,485 I don't want to talk to you, Mr. Burns. 456 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:38,195 Oh, I think you will. 457 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,323 You see, I just sold the Li'l Lisa Recycling Plant 458 00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:44,243 for $120 million. 459 00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,661 Congratulations. 460 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,079 Oh, don't congratulate me. 461 00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:49,414 Congratulate Bay State Fish Sticks. 462 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,333 As my advisor, you're entitled 463 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:52,626 to 10% of the proceeds. 464 00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:54,461 (gasping) 465 00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:57,923 Lise, have I told you lately that I love you? 466 00:20:58,006 --> 00:21:02,135 Wow! I've never seen so much money. 467 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:05,097 Oh, but I can't accept that, 468 00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:07,557 knowing where it came from. 469 00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,309 Can I, Mom? 470 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,144 (groaning) 471 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,731 Lisa, you do whatever your conscience tells you. 472 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,234 (groans) 473 00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,322 No... 474 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,284 Oh, you did the right thing, sweetheart. 475 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,579 (chuckling) 476 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,331 Well, that's the first case I've ever seen 477 00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:34,668 of a man suffering four simultaneous heart attacks. 478 00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:36,753 I'm sorry, Dad. 479 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:40,090 It's all right. I understand. 480 00:21:40,173 --> 00:21:43,385 But we really could have used that $12,000. 481 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:44,720 Um... Dad, 482 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,055 10% of $120 million 483 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:50,267 isn't 12,000, it's... 484 00:21:50,350 --> 00:21:53,186 -(heart monitor races) -WOMAN (on P.A.): Code blue! Code blue! 485 00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:01,194 {\an8}♪♪ 486 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:40,650 Shh! 487 00:22:43,653 --> 00:22:46,782 {\an8}CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.