1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,669 {\an8}(theme music playing) 2 00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:06,673 {\an8}CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 3 00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:08,133 (tires screeching) 4 00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,386 D'oh! (screams) 5 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:16,182 -(Globetrotters theme) -(whistle) 6 00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:34,451 {\an8}What? Uh-oh. Here comes the evening rush. 7 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:35,910 {\an8}Clear out, fellas. 8 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,621 {\an8}(mice squeaking) 9 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:40,749 {\an8}(whistle blowing) 10 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:43,043 {\an8}(all talking at once) 11 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,419 {\an8}What a day. 12 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:45,587 {\an8}Serious drinking. 13 00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,255 {\an8}-Evening, Moe. -(toilet flushing) 14 00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:48,506 {\an8}Morning, Moe. 15 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,175 {\an8}Yeah, all right, listen up, guys. 16 00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,801 {\an8}The Springfield police have told me 17 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,304 {\an8}that 91% of all traffic accidents 18 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,181 {\an8}are caused by you six guys. 19 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,640 {\an8}-All right! -All right. 20 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,517 {\an8}I knew we could do it! 21 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:00,852 {\an8}Yeah, I know, I know. 22 00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:04,147 {\an8}But the bad news is we got to start having designated drivers. 23 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,648 {\an8}(all grumbling) 24 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,317 {\an8}Are you kidding me? 25 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,402 {\an8}We'll choose the same way they pick the Pope. 26 00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:12,405 Everybody reach in and draw a pickled egg. 27 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,865 Whoever gets the black egg 28 00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,408 stays sober tonight. 29 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,621 Whew. 30 00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:20,955 Whew. 31 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,123 Whew. 32 00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,124 Whew. 33 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,250 Whew. 34 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,339 No! 35 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:32,842 You got the black one. 36 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,385 (laughing and shouting) 37 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,346 (men shouting) 38 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:40,683 Hey, everybody I'm Peter Pantsless! 39 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,769 (laughing) 40 00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:46,022 I can't take this much longer. 41 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,608 I got to have a beer. 42 00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:51,778 (drum machine playing) 43 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:55,615 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 44 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:56,699 Oh, no. 45 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,785 Oh, no. Not tonight. 46 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,578 Not tonight! 47 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:08,670 Are you ready to get duffed? 48 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:11,047 (cheering) 49 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,507 Hey, it's Duffman-- 50 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:16,094 The guy in the costume that creates awareness of Duff. 51 00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:18,555 Duffman wants to party down 52 00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:21,808 with the man who sent in 10,000 Duff labels 53 00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,560 to bring me here today. 54 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:28,982 I've got a bottomless mug of new Duff extra cold for... 55 00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:31,818 Barney Gumbel! 56 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:41,035 ALL: Chug! Chug! Chug! 57 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,120 I can't. 58 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:44,789 I'm the designated driver. 59 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,000 (music stops) 60 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,585 Yeah, that's swell. 61 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:51,004 Duff wholeheartedly supports the designated driver program. 62 00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:54,549 Now, who wants to party? 63 00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,259 (crowd cheering) 64 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:03,183 ♪ Hey, yada, yada, yada, macarena ♪ 65 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:05,560 ♪ Hey, macarena! ♪ 66 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:10,523 Please, I'm trying to drive. 67 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,609 Hey, let's go to the girls' college. 68 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,652 No, the Playboy Mansion. Playboy Mansion! 69 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:15,778 Shut up! 70 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,989 It's my car, and I say we're going 71 00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:20,491 to the Lost City of Gold. 72 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,035 Oh, that's just drunk talk-- 73 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,038 Sweet, beautiful drunk talk. 74 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,499 Good night, Barney. 75 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:32,086 Don't forget to bring back my car back tomorrow. 76 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,547 Just slide it under the door. 77 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,758 Yes. (clicks tongue) 78 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,301 Tomorrow. 79 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:39,636 (tires squealing) 80 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,274 Face it, Homer. The car is gone. 81 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,818 -HOMER: Ohh! -Barney ain't never coming back. 82 00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,530 MAN: Here we are, Mr. Gumbel. 83 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,783 Uh? 84 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,076 Thanks for the lift. 85 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,536 Barney, where's my car? 86 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,539 Well, all I remember about the last two months 87 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:11,542 Is giving a guest lecture at Villanova-- 88 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,253 Or maybe it was a street corner. 89 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,088 So you lost my car, eh? 90 00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:17,006 Well, that's just great. 91 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,133 I ought to punch you in the nose 92 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,135 but I have to pick up my kids at school. 93 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:25,223 -(wheels squeaking) -(Homer grumbling) 94 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,189 Homer, I don't want you driving around 95 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,732 in a car you built yourself. 96 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,193 Marge, you can stand there finding fault 97 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,861 or you can knit me some seat belts. 98 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,280 Sorry, sorry. 99 00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:43,950 Dad, you got a letter from the City of New York. 100 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,618 (scoffs) Throw it away. 101 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,912 Nothing good has ever come out of New York City. 102 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:52,083 {\an8}"Dear motorist, your vehicle is illegally parked 103 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:54,085 {\an8}in a borough of Manhattan." 104 00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:55,211 My vehicle. 105 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,798 "If you do not remedy this malparkage within 72 hours, 106 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:00,383 your car will be thrown 107 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,593 into the East River at your expense." 108 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:03,720 Oh! 109 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,972 I don't want to go to New York City. 110 00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,808 -Why not? -New York is a hellhole 111 00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,060 and you know how I feel about hellholes. 112 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,396 Dad, you can't judge a place you've never been to. 113 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,440 Yeah, that's what people do in Russia. 114 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,108 (groans) 115 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,403 It's time I told you about a chapter of my life 116 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,655 I'd hoped would be closed forever. 117 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,950 I was on my way to the Harrisburg coat outlet 118 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,869 to buy an irregular coat 119 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:31,497 but it required a stopover in New York City. 120 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,584 (piano playing "The Entertainer") 121 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,921 All I had to do was walk a few blocks 122 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,840 from the Port Authority Bus Terminal 123 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,967 to my train at Penn Station. 124 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,642 (speaking inaudibly) 125 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:11,204 Anyhow, I must have looked at somebody the wrong way 126 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:12,914 because the next thing I knew 127 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,957 I was running for my life. 128 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:35,561 And that's when the C.H.U.D.s came at me. 129 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:36,562 Oh, Homer, 130 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,689 of course, you'll have a bad impression of New York 131 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,150 if you only focus on the pimps and the C.H.U.D.s. 132 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,111 Oh, I'd love to see New York. 133 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:44,320 We could all go 134 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,906 with the bus company's special supersitter fare. 135 00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:48,950 Nine bucks? This one's on me. 136 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:52,036 Great. We're all going to New York. 137 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,122 (mumbling) Lousy Bart and his money... 138 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:57,792 All right, New York, I'm coming back. 139 00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:59,502 But you're not getting this. 140 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,048 Dad, our baby pictures were in there. 141 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,258 Don't you start. 142 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,847 MARGE: Wake up, everyone. We're almost there. 143 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,433 (yawns) 144 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:17,061 (yawning) 145 00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:19,021 {\an8}That took too long. 146 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,232 {\an8}How come we had to transfer in Atlanta twice? 147 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:24,152 {\an8}I just think we should have paid the extra $1.50 148 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,112 {\an8}and gotten a bus with restrooms. 149 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,114 (yawns) 150 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:33,369 Hey. Marge, I can't feel my legs. 151 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,912 I can't feel my legs! 152 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,164 Homer! 153 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,958 Homer, those legs belong to the man behind you. 154 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,044 (chuckles) Hi. 155 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,421 (gasps) 156 00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,214 We're here! 157 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,382 Wow. 158 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,468 I feel like such a nobody. 159 00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:54,015 It's wall-to-wall landmarks-- 160 00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:56,142 The Williamsburg Bridge, 161 00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,727 Fourth Avenue, 162 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,645 Governor's Island. 163 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,772 Look. It's ZZ Top. 164 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,691 You guys rock! 165 00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,109 Eh. Maybe a little. 166 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:12,658 Now remember, criminals prey on small-town folk like us. 167 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:13,993 So if anyone asks, 168 00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:16,871 we're sophisticated millionaires from the Ozarks. 169 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,581 {\an8}Homer, you're scaring the children. 170 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,584 {\an8}Good. I don't want to spend one extra second 171 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:22,877 {\an8}in this urban death maze. 172 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,087 You wait here at the bus station while I get the car. 173 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:29,175 The bus station is just one of the sights we came to see. 174 00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:32,094 We'll meet you in Central Park at 5:00. 175 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,639 Oh, all right, but not a minute later, 176 00:08:34,722 --> 00:08:38,518 'cause once the sun goes down, all the weirdos turn crazy. 177 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,854 I'm on to you! 178 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:51,239 "Your vehicle is illegally parked at... 179 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:53,699 One World Trade Plaza." 180 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,493 Hmm. Whoo. 181 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,998 Aah! 182 00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:03,834 Aaaah! 183 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,545 Oh! 184 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,257 MARGE: Wow. 185 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:13,010 Governor's Island looks so insignificant from up here. 186 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,513 Hey, immigrants! Beat it! 187 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,014 Country's full! 188 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,141 OK, folks, you heard the lady. 189 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,560 Back into the hold. 190 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,644 We'll try Canada. 191 00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,062 (disappointed moans) 192 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,523 (speaking native language) 193 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,443 Stupid city. 194 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,946 What the hell is this thing? 195 00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:33,281 (groaning) 196 00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:34,490 C-come off! 197 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,701 Come... off. 198 00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:38,286 All right, you. 199 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:41,122 (angry muttering) 200 00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:46,752 Ow. 201 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,130 MAN (shouting): Hey! When you're done with that, 202 00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:51,966 I got something up here you can bite on! 203 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:55,303 Hey! Why don't you be polite you stinking pus bag! 204 00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:58,306 Pal, you got to call that number right on the boot! 205 00:09:58,389 --> 00:09:59,724 Sorry about that guy. 206 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:02,101 They stick all the jerks in Tower One! 207 00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:03,811 That's it! I'm coming over there! 208 00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:05,271 Yeah, why don't you come over here! 209 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:06,355 (both arguing) 210 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,441 Shut up, the both of yous! 211 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:11,444 WOMAN: Thank you for calling the Parking Violations Bureau. 212 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:14,405 To plead not guilty, press one, now. 213 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:16,949 Thank you. Your plea has been... 214 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,451 MAN: Rejected. 215 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:20,995 WOMAN: You will be assessed the full fine plus a small... 216 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:22,913 MAN: Large lateness penalty. 217 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,457 WOMAN: Please wait by your vehicle 218 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,334 between 9:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m. 219 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:29,503 -for parking officer Steve... -MAN: Grabowski. 220 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:30,838 (dial tone) 221 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:33,883 They expect me to sit here from 9:00 to 5:00? 222 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,760 That's... How many hours? 223 00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,763 Ten, 11... Denominator. 224 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,182 Oh! Where's Lisa when you need her? 225 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:46,812 Here's a better idea. 226 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,982 You give me your address, and I'll write to you. 227 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:50,941 Uh, OK. 228 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:54,362 Just send it to... Jesus, care of the Pentagon. 229 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,822 I'm so glad we took the subway. 230 00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,367 "Laser wart removal"? 231 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,827 Wow. The future is here. 232 00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:03,996 Hey, where's Bart? 233 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:04,997 (coins rattling) 234 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,499 Ladies and gentlemen, 235 00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:08,542 I'm sorry to disturb your pleasant ride. 236 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:11,671 but unlike yourselves, I was born without taste buds. 237 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,047 Let me demonstrate. 238 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:14,465 (groaning) 239 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:17,218 Ew. I'm in over my head here. 240 00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:18,886 Thank you for your time. 241 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,431 Ah... 242 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,433 Come on. Pick up the pace. 243 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,727 Hey, I'm not a bum. 244 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,021 Thanks, but I don't need... 245 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,731 OK, if you insist, but... 246 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,693 Spare change, lady? 247 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:34,944 Lousy cheapskate. 248 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,281 So hungry. 249 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,325 Can't leave car. 250 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,705 Getting closer. 251 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,832 Closer. 252 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:49,709 Almost... 253 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,168 there. 254 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:52,795 (snapping) 255 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:53,754 Ow! 256 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:55,756 MAN: Fresh Khlav Kalash! 257 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,508 Get your Khlav Kalash! 258 00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:59,760 Hey, could you go across the street 259 00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:00,886 and get me a slice of pizza? 260 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,097 No pizza, only Khlav Kalash. 261 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,557 Oh, shoot. 262 00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,892 All right, all right. Give me one bowl. 263 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,310 No bowl. Stick. Stick. 264 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:12,857 Aaah! Geez! 265 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:15,067 That's just awful. 266 00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:19,280 Mmm. 267 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:20,489 Now, what do you have 268 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,074 to wash that awful taste out of my mouth? 269 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,951 Mountain dew or crab juice. 270 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:26,829 Blech! Ew! Geez! 271 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,539 I'll take a crab juice. 272 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:36,756 (belches) 273 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:38,758 Uh-oh. 274 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,469 Uh... You got a men's room in there? 275 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:42,970 Only Khlav Kalash. 276 00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:43,971 Men's room in tower. 277 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:46,265 Tower. Observation deck. 278 00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,933 (whimpering) 279 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,936 But I can't leave my car until the parking guy gets here. 280 00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:55,232 Oh, why did I drink all that crab juice? 281 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,276 Mmm. 282 00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:59,737 (whistling) 283 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,239 Don't even think about it, pal. 284 00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,620 {\an8}Are we still in Little Italy? 285 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,789 {\an8}Actually, I think we're in Chinatown now. 286 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,290 Only in New York. 287 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,794 Mom, are those rabbits dead? 288 00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,378 No. No, Lisa. 289 00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,297 They're just... Sleeping... 290 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:21,425 Upside down and inside out. 291 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:22,843 Bart. 292 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,887 No fireworks. Put that back. 293 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,055 You're the boss. 294 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,643 Oh, no! 295 00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,144 Chinese firedrill! 296 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,437 Serious this time. 297 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,607 (whimpering) 298 00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:40,152 Come on, boot guy. 299 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,075 Oh. Flushing Meadows. 300 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,579 (celestial chorus) 301 00:13:55,042 --> 00:14:00,214 (toilets flushing) 302 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:04,134 {\an8}Oh, I can't take it anymore. 303 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,512 All right, I'll only be gone for a second. 304 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,852 Frontsies, backsies, I'm with them. 305 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,144 V.I.P Coming through. 306 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:15,479 Very important person. 307 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:16,480 They gave me frontsies. 308 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,943 (elevator bell dings) 309 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,236 (gasps) 310 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,864 How frightfully rude. 311 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,533 I certainly hope someone stabs him in the eye. 312 00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:30,619 (elevator dings) 313 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,164 Gah! 314 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,752 {\an8}(pained moan) 315 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,212 {\an8}(zipping) 316 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,173 (lift bell dings twice) 317 00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:47,511 (lift bell dings twice) 318 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,847 (loud groan of relief) 319 00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:01,358 Oh, yes. 320 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,277 (gasps) 321 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:08,657 D'ohh! 322 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:09,992 D-ohh! 323 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:11,243 D'ohh! 324 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,369 D'ohh! 325 00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:13,913 D'ohh! 326 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,502 (panting) 327 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,503 What? 328 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,130 "Failure to wait by vehicle..." 329 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:25,090 $250? 330 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,550 You... Oh! 331 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,844 (angry muttering) 332 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,387 Oh, no. 333 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:31,639 It's getting dark. 334 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:32,890 Well, that's it. 335 00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:35,643 I'm getting out of this town alive if it kills me. 336 00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:38,354 (engine revving) 337 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:41,732 (boot clanging) 338 00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:44,610 (tires screeching) 339 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,745 (laughing) 340 00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:55,788 Ow! 341 00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:57,164 (laughing) 342 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:58,290 Ow! 343 00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,500 (laughing) 344 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:00,960 Ow! 345 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,002 Ow! 346 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,470 Look at all those beautiful shoes. 347 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:14,431 I know they're made from animals, but wow. 348 00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:17,935 Mmm, If only I didn't already have a pair of shoes. 349 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,354 Speaking of shoes, I don't care about shoes. 350 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,272 I'll meet you ladies back here in half an hour. 351 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:23,524 OK, Dad. 352 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,110 Stay where I can see you, honey. 353 00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:29,863 (gasps) 354 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,782 {\an8}MAD Magazine? 355 00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:33,325 (moaning) 356 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,166 (breathes sharply) 357 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:46,005 Excuse me. Is this MAD Magazine? 358 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,215 No, it's Mademoiselle. 359 00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:50,676 We're buying our sign on the installment plan. 360 00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:54,972 Seriously though, my name is Bart Simpson. 361 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,265 My father has a subscription. 362 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:58,017 I'd like the grand tour, please. 363 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,852 Listen, kid, you probably think 364 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:02,187 lots of crazy stuff goes on in there, 365 00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:05,232 but this is just a place of business. 366 00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:07,860 Oh... OK. 367 00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,447 Get me Kaputnik and Fonebone. 368 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,865 I want to see their drawings 369 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,783 For "The New Kids on The Blecch." 370 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:19,329 And where's my fushlugginer pastrami sandwiches? 371 00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:22,499 Wow. 372 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,877 {\an8}I will never wash these eyes again. 373 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,507 (grunts) 374 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,384 (horns honking) 375 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,721 Get off the road, you freakin' maniac! 376 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,640 Yeah, you jackass! 377 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,434 {\an8}Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! 378 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:45,564 ♪ Everything is beautiful ♪ 379 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,691 ♪ In its own way... ♪ 380 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:48,734 (deep growl) 381 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:53,906 {\an8}LISA: " Kickin' it -- 382 00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:56,492 {\an8}A musical journey through the Betty Ford Center." 383 00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,452 You know, when I was a girl, 384 00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:01,747 I always dreamed of being in a Broadway audience. 385 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,293 How do you find the defendant? 386 00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:09,129 ♪ He's guilty of mayhem ♪ 387 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,714 ♪ Exposure indecent ♪ 388 00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:12,382 ♪ Freaked out behavior ♪ 389 00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,259 ♪ Both chronic and recent ♪ 390 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:17,596 ♪ Drinking and driving narcotics possession ♪ 391 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:23,102 ♪ And that's just page one of his ten-page confession ♪ 392 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,895 ♪ I should put you away ♪ 393 00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,106 ♪ Where you can't kill or maim us ♪ 394 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,732 ♪ But this is L.A. ♪ 395 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:34,571 ♪ And you're rich and famous ♪ 396 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,909 (Broadway show tune intro) 397 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:41,245 ♪ I'm checkin' in ♪ 398 00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:42,788 ♪ He's checkin' in ♪ 399 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:43,997 ♪ I'm checkin' in ♪ 400 00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,082 ♪ Checkin', checkin' in ♪ 401 00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:48,168 ♪ No more pills or alcohol ♪ 402 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:51,797 ♪ No more pot or Demerol ♪ 403 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,967 ♪ No more stinkin' fun at all ♪ 404 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:59,596 ♪ I'm checkin' in ♪ 405 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,765 ♪ He's checkin' in ♪ 406 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,310 ♪ He's checkin' in ♪ 407 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:08,438 ♪ No more looking pale and thin ♪ 408 00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:11,525 ♪ No more bugs beneath your skin ♪ 409 00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:14,403 ♪ Hey, that's just my aspirin ♪ 410 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,905 ♪ Chuck it out ♪ 411 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:22,995 ♪ You're checkin' in ♪ 412 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,833 When I grow up, I want to be in the Betty Ford Center. 413 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,418 You better start saving now. 414 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,420 -It's very expensive. -Shh. 415 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:34,006 They're strapping down Liza Minnelli. 416 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,177 HOMER: Oh, it's gonna be dark soon. 417 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,762 I'll never make it out of here with this rotten boot on my car. 418 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,016 (tires screeching) 419 00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,767 A-ha. I've got it. 420 00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,604 Brain, how can I ever thank you? 421 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:51,190 Just don't bump me on your way out of the car. 422 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:52,608 Sorry. 423 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,735 -Just a minute! -(horns honking) 424 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:57,696 Everything's under control. 425 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,407 Yes, I'd be upset, too. 426 00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:03,118 Hey! Hey! 427 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,119 Hey! 428 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,204 What? 429 00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,663 The boss says you're fired. 430 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,290 I'll get him. 431 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,750 (chuckling) 432 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,961 So long, Mr. Boot. 433 00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,839 C-c-come on. 434 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:17,841 C-c-come on! 435 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:28,101 Die! Die! 436 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:31,021 Homer one-- 437 00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:32,606 New York nothing. 438 00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:34,566 (clanking) 439 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:35,484 D'ohh! 440 00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:41,156 Thanks for your patience. 441 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,242 -(gunshot) -Aah! 442 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:51,458 What a perfect way to end our day in New York. 443 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:54,253 Mm. I hope your father had as much fun as we did. 444 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:57,047 (growls) 445 00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,424 -(horn honking) -(screaming) 446 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,635 (horn honking) 447 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,349 My God! 448 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,601 That maniac is heading straight for us! 449 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,353 Go, Secretariat! Go! 450 00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:18,568 -Ow! -Hey, it's Dad. Right on time. 451 00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:19,611 We're getting out of here. 452 00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:22,197 Now jump in, Marge. Trust me, throw the kids. 453 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,950 -No time for the baby. -We're not jumping, Homer. 454 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,577 -(tires screeching) -(horse whinnies) 455 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,705 Come on, let's go. Everyone into the car now. 456 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,420 Tell your friends to ask for Jimmy. 457 00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:41,216 {\an8}LISA: What a magical city. 458 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,926 {\an8}Can we come back next year, Dad? 459 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,931 We'll see, honey. 460 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:53,020 We'll see. 461 00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:56,690 ("New York, New York" playing) 462 00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:05,365 ♪ Start spreading the news ♪ 463 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:09,369 ♪ I'm leaving today ♪ 464 00:22:10,203 --> 00:22:14,541 ♪ I want to be a part of it ♪ 465 00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:19,087 ♪ In old New York ♪ 466 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:23,050 ♪ If I can make it there ♪ 467 00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:27,637 ♪ I'll make it anywhere ♪ 468 00:22:27,971 --> 00:22:30,932 ♪ Come on, come through ♪ 469 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,185 ♪ New York ♪ 470 00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:38,899 ♪ New York ♪ 471 00:22:38,982 --> 00:22:41,026 {\an8}-(murmuring) -Shh! 472 00:22:44,279 --> 00:22:47,282 {\an8}Captioned by Visual Data Media Services