1 00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:03,503 MAN: Hmm. 2 00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:05,213 {\an8}No. 3 00:00:05,296 --> 00:00:08,049 {\an8}No. No. 4 00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:11,136 {\an8}(hearty laugh) 5 00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:14,764 {\an8}No. 6 00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:18,893 {\an8}Hmm... I think we can do without the crack pipe. 7 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:21,021 {\an8}Oh, hi. As the Fox censor, 8 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:24,315 {\an8}it's my job to protect you from reality. 9 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:25,817 {\an8}And thanks to my prudent editing, 10 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,444 {\an8}tonight's special Halloween show 11 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:30,071 {\an8}has been rated TV-G. 12 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,491 {\an8}This means there will be no raunchy NBC-style sex 13 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:36,369 {\an8}or senseless CBS-style violence. 14 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:39,664 {\an8}So sit back and enjoy a night of worry-free-- 15 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:42,709 {\an8}(groaning) What the fudge-- 16 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,294 {\an8}Oh, for Pete's sake! 17 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,295 {\an8}(groans) 18 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:49,049 {\an8}Jiminy Christmas! (screams) 19 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,175 {\an8}Darn it! 20 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,596 (spooky music playing) 21 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,475 (all moaning) 22 00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:02,896 (bell clanging) 23 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:14,908 And that's how an heroic hippo became a deputy. 24 00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:16,367 Stupid hippo. 25 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,452 This just in. 26 00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:20,121 Tensions continue to mount between Springfield and France 27 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:23,333 over Mayor Quimby's now-famous frog's legs joke! 28 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:26,377 The French president has threatened swift and massive retaliation 29 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:28,797 if he doesn't receive an immediate apology. 30 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:29,881 Stupid frog. 31 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:33,551 We now go live to city hall for Mayor Quimby's response. 32 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,554 I stand by my ethnic slur! 33 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:40,141 Do your worst, you filthy, pretentious savages! 34 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:43,186 {\an8}Homer, you know how unpredictable the French are. 35 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:47,232 {\an8}One minute they're kissing a woman's hand, the next, they're chopping off her head. 36 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,817 {\an8}What if they start a war? 37 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,653 {\an8}Relax. I built a bomb shelter. 38 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,906 {\an8}That's not gonna protect us from anything! 39 00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,116 {\an8}Fine, then don't use it. 40 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:57,700 {\an8}-I won't. -Good. 41 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,494 {\an8}-I know it's good. -So do I. 42 00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,621 {\an8}-I'm happy for you. -You should be. 43 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,210 {\an8}Now, this baby is called "The Withstandinator." 44 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:11,965 {\an8}It can take a six-megaton blast. No more, no less. 45 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,925 {\an8}Oooh! 46 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,513 {\an8}Blankets, radio. 47 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:21,307 {\an8}(gasps) Oh, a Gary Larson calendar. 48 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,561 {\an8}I don't get it. I don't get it. 49 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,522 {\an8}I don't get it. I don't get it. 50 00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,190 {\an8}I... don't get it. 51 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,817 {\an8}(romantic accordion music plays) 52 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:34,988 Sacre bleu! 53 00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:37,157 We will show those stupid Americans 54 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,075 who looks like ze frog, eh? 55 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,952 (all chortling) 56 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,790 Ready, aim- 57 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:47,417 (popping sound) 58 00:02:58,094 --> 00:03:00,013 What the hell was that? 59 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,890 Calling home planet. 60 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,349 This is Ensign Kang reporting 61 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:06,102 a cigar-shaped object moving at tremendous speed. 62 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,731 Sure, Kang, I'm writing it all down. 63 00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:11,774 -(chuckles) -(snorts) 64 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:19,574 I'll bet I get blamed for this. 65 00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:24,621 But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. 66 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,873 You're from two different worlds. 67 00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,124 (bomb whistle sound) 68 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,002 Oooh, I've wasted my life. 69 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:42,805 You call that prime rib? Yuck. 70 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,521 (horn blaring) 71 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:54,901 It's green, moron! Earth to stupid guy. Hello? 72 00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:58,905 (groans) Maybe a little friendly punching will move your ass. 73 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,491 Ha! Still got it! 74 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:05,453 (wind howling) 75 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:09,082 Geez, what's with all the dust? 76 00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,669 My God! 77 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,129 Everyone's gone! 78 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,298 (whimpers, voice cracking) Little Bart. 79 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,633 (bat striking ball) 80 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:21,135 -Little Lisa. -(bat striking ball) 81 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,639 -Little Marge. -(bat not striking ball) 82 00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,724 And the rest! 83 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,978 (sobbing) 84 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:34,482 Oh, I've lost everything! I can't go on! 85 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,026 No. No, no! 86 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:41,698 I can't just wallow in sadness. It's time to laugh again! 87 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,826 (giddy laughter) 88 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,787 I'm the last man alive... 89 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:51,416 (voice echoing) and I can do everything I've always wanted! 90 00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:02,635 -(both yelling) -(bees buzzing) 91 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:07,015 Oh, Spade, why did you put Farley in charge of the bees? 92 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,143 Hey, buddy, down in front! 93 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,645 (grunts, laughing) 94 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:15,606 ♪ I said... ♪ 95 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,483 -♪ War, huh ♪ -♪ War, huh! ♪ 96 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,943 ♪ Good God, y'all ♪ -♪ Good God, y'all ♪ 97 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:21,154 -♪ What is it good for? ♪ -♪ What is it good for? ♪ 98 00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:22,655 -♪ Absolutely nothin' ♪ -♪ Absolutely nothin' ♪ 99 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:23,656 -♪ Say it again ♪ -♪ Say it again ♪ 100 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,824 OK. 101 00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:27,410 Hey, what happened to the tunes? 102 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,038 (shrieks) 103 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:33,333 Hey, what the hell's going on? Where'd you get those cloaks? 104 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,377 Silence! You're talking too loud. 105 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:39,172 Not everyone died in the blast, Homer. 106 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,966 Some of us were merely horribly mutated. 107 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,760 (laughing) 108 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,928 (gasps) You're mutants? 109 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,348 Uh, we don't like the word "mutants," Homer. 110 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,767 We prefer "freaks" or "monsters." 111 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,061 We're creating a new perfect society 112 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:56,939 in which the mistakes of the past will be eliminated. 113 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,026 And now... you must die. 114 00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,278 (all moaning) 115 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,993 -You want me? Come and get me! -Get him! 116 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,246 -D'oh! -(all moaning) 117 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,252 (screams) Look, a coffin! 118 00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:22,215 -(engine not turning over) -(moaning continues) 119 00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,217 (engine starting) 120 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:29,680 -(all shouting) -After him. 121 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,771 Die, you chalk-faced goons! 122 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:38,648 (both screaming) 123 00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:43,736 Come on. We just wanna eat your skin. 124 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,321 Go to hell, cloaky! 125 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,161 (tires screeching) 126 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,748 -Safe at last. -(doorbell rings) 127 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,875 That better not be the mutants. 128 00:06:59,293 --> 00:07:01,754 -(screams) -MARGE: Homie, is that you? 129 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:05,425 (gasps) Marge, kids, you're alive! 130 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:09,262 All the layers of lead paint in this house made it the perfect bomb shelter. 131 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:10,930 Oh, come here. 132 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,601 (all sighing) 133 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,479 Kinda brings a tear to your eye socket. 134 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,774 Mm-hmm. In the midst of all the killing and skin eating, 135 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,485 somehow we forgot the love. 136 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:25,695 Yeah, ain't that always the way? 137 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,780 You get nuts with the skin eating. 138 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:32,493 You know, I don't see any reason why freaks and norms can't get along. 139 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,995 (all murmuring agreement) 140 00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:35,830 Why not? Yeah. 141 00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:39,292 We can all work together to build a utopian society 142 00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:41,752 free of violence, hate and prejudice. 143 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:45,548 That sounds beautiful, Ned. And let me just say... 144 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:49,510 my family and I share your vision for a better-- Now! 145 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,804 (all gasp) 146 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,599 (all groaning) 147 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:57,768 Hmph! Friends with mutants-- Right! 148 00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:01,606 Now that's the Marge I married. 149 00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:04,442 So, who wants to steal some Ferraris? 150 00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:05,651 LISA: I do! BART: I do! 151 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:06,736 MARGE: I do! 152 00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,864 LISA: Yeah, let's go! 153 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:22,668 Wow, look at all these gadgets. If I were a nerd, I'd be in heaven. 154 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:26,088 Good morning, ma'am. Good afternoon, sir. 155 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,049 It passed noon while I was speaking, 156 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,676 so that was technically accurate. 157 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,428 He's crazy. 158 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,058 Hey, Eins-teen, how much for the mood pants? 159 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:40,228 (mutters) How much you got? 160 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:46,108 Nice try, Floyd, but you were designed for scrubbing. 161 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,486 And scrubbing is what you shall do. 162 00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:54,075 (whistling) 163 00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:56,577 (hum resonating) 164 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:57,870 (whistling) 165 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:58,913 Hmm! 166 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,499 {\an8}I take it from that little impressed noise 167 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:05,378 {\an8}that you are interested in purchasing that matter transporter, sir. 168 00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:08,214 {\an8}Um, two bucks. 169 00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:12,426 {\an8}And it only transports matter. 170 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,388 {\an8}Um, well, uh- 171 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,056 {\an8}I'll give you 35 cents. 172 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:19,559 Sold! But I must warn you 173 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:23,563 this device carries a frighteningly high risk of catastrophic-- 174 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,940 I said I'll take it. 175 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:30,027 This mountain of stairs used to make bedtime a grueling chore 176 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,113 but not anymore, baby. 177 00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,906 (hum resonating) 178 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,658 (hum resonating) 179 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,911 (chuckling) Good night, losers. 180 00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:44,292 Man, how'd I ever live without this thing? 181 00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:53,467 (contented sigh) 182 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,095 Oh, man, that's good! 183 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,807 (grunting) Hmm. 184 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:02,893 (humming) 185 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,895 -(unzipping) -Homer, no! 186 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,689 -(zips up pants) -Oh! 187 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,566 Hey, Dad, can I use the transporter sometime? 188 00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:10,234 Please, I swear I'll be careful. 189 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,863 Sorry, but this is a highly sophisti-ma-cated doo-wacky. 190 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,824 If you don't use it responsibly, kablamo! 191 00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:20,036 LISA: Ow! Someone just punched me in the face! 192 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,120 It was your mother! 193 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:29,253 OK, cat, now if this works, your next trip will be to the bank vault. 194 00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:32,423 (frantic meowing) 195 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:34,508 (barking) 196 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,054 (alarm beeping) 197 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:42,475 (whimpering) 198 00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:45,895 Whoa, cool! Twice the pet and none of the mess. 199 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:50,816 Oh! Ugh! You can be Lisa's. 200 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,943 (fly buzzing) 201 00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:55,946 Hmm... 202 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:05,206 Look, in the sky! It's Superfly! 203 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,876 Oh, I'd be stupid not to do this! 204 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,259 (alarm beeping) 205 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:24,183 It worked! 206 00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:27,228 Oh... I was hoping to be humongous. 207 00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:29,855 Tch. Oh, well, at least I don't have two butts. 208 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:33,651 MARGE: What's going on down there? What's all this mist? 209 00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,111 Uh-oh. 210 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,112 -(banging) -(groans) 211 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:39,824 -(banging window) -Ow! Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh! 212 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:43,077 Bart, are you in there? 213 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,788 Have you forgotten our little "kablamo" talk? 214 00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:49,959 (growling) 215 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,460 (all scream) 216 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,465 (blubbering) 217 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,758 Mom, stop! 218 00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:01,554 According to this, it says Bart mixed up his D.N.A. with a fly's. 219 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,305 I think that's Bart! 220 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,600 (babbling) 221 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,478 I think she's right. The pants are a dead giveaway. 222 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:15,109 Oh, well, he may be a horrible freak, but he's still my son. 223 00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,486 I'm sure we'll grow to accept him in time. 224 00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:20,823 (slurping) 225 00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:28,372 So then Lenny says, "As if! Don't even go there, sister." 226 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,000 (all laughing) 227 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,169 -Good one, Dad. -Yeah, well, Lenny said it. 228 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:34,378 Bluggh! 229 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:39,008 -Blarrr! Blagh! -Oh. You want more syrup, honey? 230 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,218 There's one thing I still don't understand. 231 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:44,930 When Bart went through the transporter, what happened to his head? 232 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,682 Oh, it'll turn up somewhere. 233 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:53,939 (high-pitched) Help me! Help me! 234 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,816 Sucker! 235 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,785 {\an8}(slurping) 236 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:10,039 {\an8}-(growls) -OK, OK. It's your sugar, Bart. 237 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,458 That impostor! 238 00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:15,586 (Bart buzzing) 239 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,756 Mom, Dad, I'm the real Bart. 240 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,634 That's just some overgrown fly with my body. 241 00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:25,513 -Somebody listen to me! -(grunts) Shoo! Shoo, fly! 242 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:27,848 (grunting) 243 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,851 Listen, buddy. This is all a mistake. 244 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,145 If you'll just go through the transporter with me again, 245 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:36,023 we'll have you back eating garbage in no time. 246 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:38,692 -Blarrgh! -(Bart gaaps) 247 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,153 (crashing) 248 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,364 Get him, boy! Smash that fly! 249 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,199 Mush him up good! 250 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,868 Nice work, son. 251 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,455 (thunderclap) 252 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,042 Bart! Is that you? 253 00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:58,629 -(buzzing) -I can't hear you. Wait. 254 00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:00,756 Fly into my saxophone. 255 00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:05,803 Help me, Lise! That giant fly stole my body and now he's trying to kill me! 256 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:09,223 Oh, no! And I let him use my toothbrush! 257 00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:13,060 Well, that hideous creep doesn't scare me. 258 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:16,939 (screaming) 259 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:20,359 Mom, Dad, help! He's trying to kill me! 260 00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:22,570 Nobody likes a tattletale, honey. 261 00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,905 They're like this every rainy day. 262 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,615 (grunting) 263 00:14:27,324 --> 00:14:28,909 Bluggh! Blagh! 264 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,369 (buzzing) 265 00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:31,996 Bluggh! Blagh! 266 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,582 (Bart grunts) 267 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:37,293 Hey, get my filthy hands off my sister! 268 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:42,047 Whoa! No, don't eat me! You don't know where I've been! 269 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:47,887 You just made a big mistake, fly-boy! 270 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,599 (grunting) 271 00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:55,394 Hey, it worked! 272 00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:58,022 Well, we were lucky this time. 273 00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:02,192 But it's all too clear that some things in this universe 274 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,320 aren't meant to be trifled with. 275 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:05,905 Homer, what are you doing? 276 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:09,867 Something I should have done a long time ago. 277 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:12,119 I'll teach you to mess with my machine! 278 00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:15,456 -(screams) -I'm gonna chop you good! 279 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,374 That cost me 35 cents! 280 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,753 You're just making it worse! I promise I won't hurt you! 281 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,721 (animal howling) 282 00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:36,477 {\an8}QUIMBY: You are all hereby found guilty of the crime of witchcraft. 283 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,647 I sentence you hags to be burned at the stake 284 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:42,733 until you are deemed fit to reenter society. 285 00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,109 Fire it up, boys. 286 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,615 -(crowd cheering) -Ha-ha! 287 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:52,952 -See you in hell, Seymour! -Good-bye, Mother. 288 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,828 How horrible! 289 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:58,290 If they're really witches, why don't they use their powers to escape? 290 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,627 -That sounds like witch talk to me, Lisa. -Never mind. 291 00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:04,088 Well, that's 75 witches we've processed. 292 00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:06,966 That ought to show God whose side we're on, eh, Pastor? 293 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:11,220 Yes, Nedwin, but we have many more strumpets to incinerate. 294 00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:16,684 Brothers and sisters, there is still a witch among us. 295 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,979 Let us throw open the floor to, uh, wild accusations. 296 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,523 Whoo-hoo! I accuse Goodie Flanders! 297 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,775 -(gasps) -(crowd murmuring) 298 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,986 I accuse Goodie Badwife. 299 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,654 Uh, we killed her on Sunday. 300 00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,906 Well, there must be someone here we can accuse. 301 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,659 -Lisa Simpson! -Bart, quit it! 302 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,703 She put a spell on me! 303 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:38,163 Must... drop... pantaloons. 304 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,164 -(groans) -Whoa! 305 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,583 Let's come to our senses, everyone. 306 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,336 This witch hunt is turning into a circus. 307 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,379 -She's the witch! -(crowd shouting) 308 00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:47,047 Yeah! She's the witch! 309 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,173 I was just about to accuse her. 310 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,968 This is crazy. I'm not a witch! 311 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:54,972 Ha! Then how come your laundry is always much whiter than mine? 312 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:59,977 -Oh, I've heard enough. Burn her! -ALL: Burn her! Burn her! 313 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,855 People, let us not turn into an angry mob. 314 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,734 Goodie Simpson is entitled to due process. 315 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:09,111 OK, here's how the process works. 316 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,530 You sit on the broom and we shove you off the cliff. 317 00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:13,532 -What? -Well, hear me out. 318 00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:17,286 If you're innocent, you will fall to an honorable Christian death. 319 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,371 If, however, you are the bride of Satan, 320 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,082 you will surely fly your broom to safety. 321 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:25,669 At that point, you will report back here for torture and beheading. 322 00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:26,712 Tough, but fair. 323 00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:27,880 Stop! 324 00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:32,551 Doesn't the Bible say, "Judge not lest ye be judged"? 325 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,887 (murmuring agreement) 326 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,847 The Bible says a lot of things. Shove her! 327 00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,015 (gasps) 328 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,308 (screaming) 329 00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,686 (screaming) 330 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,314 Brothers and sisters... 331 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,649 we have performed the Lord's work 332 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:51,862 and sent a good woman into his waiting-- 333 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:55,157 -(gasping) -(cackling) 334 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:59,953 OK, now, let's not jump to conclusions, everyone. 335 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,247 {\an8}Well, I'll be a son of a witch. 336 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,792 That's right, I'm a witch. 337 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:07,252 And I'm the one who withered your livestock, 338 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:10,547 soured your sheep's milk and made your shirts itchy. 339 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:14,426 {\an8}-Hey, you destroyed my turnip crop. -No, that was gophers. 340 00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:17,012 {\an8}Impossible. We burned all the gophers. 341 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,348 Not all of them. 342 00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:22,101 (screaming) 343 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,937 And this is for pushing me off the cliff! 344 00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:27,106 -MAN: Whoa! Whoa! -(all gasping) 345 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,233 All right, people, nothing to see here. 346 00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:31,610 Yeah, show's over, all right? Move along. 347 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:35,030 As for the rest of you-- (cackling) 348 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,282 (screaming) 349 00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:40,244 (gasps) They're in my hair! They're in my hair! 350 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:50,212 Mmm, mmm, mmm... 351 00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:52,381 This needs more eye of newt. 352 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,258 You always want more eye of newt. 353 00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:57,219 If it were up to you, the brew would be nothing but newt eyes. 354 00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,055 Well, look who's here. 355 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,683 If I knew you were coming, I'd have baked a cat. 356 00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:06,812 What a day! They found out I was a witch, so I had to leave my family. 357 00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:10,482 Really? So you finally left Durwood. 358 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,151 His name is Homer. 359 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:18,115 Oh, Neddie, look at them up there, plotting our doom. 360 00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:21,034 They could force us to commit wanton acts of carnality. 361 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,829 -(scoffs) Yeah, that'll be the day. -What's that, Ned? 362 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:26,123 Uh, we shouldn't fear the witches, Maude. 363 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:30,043 We're both 35. We've already gone way past our life expectancy. 364 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:33,172 But think of the children! I heard that witches come to your house 365 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,674 and take your children away to eat them! 366 00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:39,178 Hmm. Eat their children. 367 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:42,014 Geez, we were just gonna swipe their shoes. 368 00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:45,309 But a good idea is a good idea. 369 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:52,858 (all cackling) 370 00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:58,363 -NED: Who is it? -ALL: Witches! 371 00:19:58,447 --> 00:19:59,990 MAUDE: Um, what do you want? 372 00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:02,034 We're here to eat your kids. 373 00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:05,078 NED: OK, come on in... 374 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,705 and look at this! 375 00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,832 Oh, please! 376 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,543 Now make with the kids. 377 00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:16,298 Don't blame yourself, Daddy. 378 00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,926 (muffled) You did everything you could. 379 00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:23,305 (whimpers) Maude, do something. 380 00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:26,934 Oh. Uh, well, excuse me. 381 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:31,355 Are you sure you ladies wouldn't prefer some gingerbread children instead? 382 00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:33,482 -They're boneless. -ALL: Hmm? 383 00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:40,572 -ALL: Mmm. -CHILDREN: Ow! 384 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,199 (hooting) 385 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:47,496 Bye, witches. Thanks for not eating me. 386 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,581 Yeah, you hags are all right. 387 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:51,792 What did you get? 388 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:55,128 -A candied apple. -I got a caramel cod. 389 00:20:56,505 --> 00:21:01,468 Mmm, you know, scaring people into giving us treats is fun. 390 00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:03,345 We should do this every year. 391 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,181 I just wish we hadn't filled up on all those kids 392 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,100 before we got to the Flanders'. 393 00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,184 (belches) 394 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:13,313 (all cackling) 395 00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:17,526 Yar, and that's the story of the very first caramel cod. 396 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:20,696 I mean, Halloween. And it wasn't long 397 00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:24,825 before this yearly custom became an annual tradition. 398 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:31,623 {\an8}(children chattering) 399 00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:37,713 (grunting) 400 00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:41,550 Come on! Give us some candy! Don't pretend you're not home. 401 00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:43,468 Dad, that's our house. 402 00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:46,805 (crowd laughing) 403 00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:48,890 -She's a witch! -MAN: Get her! Get her! 404 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,893 -(crowd shouting) -(Lisa screaming) 405 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,687 Burn her! Burn her! 406 00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:42,819 (woman screaming) 407 00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:46,406 Captioned by Visual Data Media Service