﻿1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:02,961
(theme music playing)

2
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CHORUS: <i>♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

3
00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:07,424
(tires screeching)

4
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:10,427
D-oh!

5
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:11,511
(screams)

6
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{\an8}Ha-ha!

7
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:27,610
{\an8}(Marge grunting)

8
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,030
{\an8}Come on!

9
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:33,908
{\an8}You have to go outside
to do your... business.

10
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,744
{\an8}The experts say if you want

11
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,245
{\an8}an animal to do something

12
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:40,123
{\an8}you should do it yourself first
to show him how.

13
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,876
{\an8}I'm not going to the bathroom
in the backyard.

14
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,462
{\an8}Sorry, your majesty.

15
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:48,339
{\an8}Hmm... Why don't you want to go out there?

16
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{\an8}Yuck!

17
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,928
{\an8}The kids are supposed
to be keeping this yard clean.

18
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{\an8}(hissing)

19
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{\an8}(gasping)

20
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{\an8}(Ned screaming)

21
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{\an8}Ned, I'm so sorry.

22
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{\an8}-Oh, no problem, Marge.
-(snake hissing)

23
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,230
{\an8}Oh!

24
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,732
{\an8}Turn on the TV, Lis.

25
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:09,069
{\an8}You turn it on. I turned it on yesterday.

26
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,862
{\an8}Allowance day. Ding, ding, ding.

27
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,655
{\an8}You don't deserve an allowance.

28
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,324
{\an8}Sure we do. Ding, ding, ding.

29
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{\an8}BOTH: ding, ding, ding...

30
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,410
{\an8}Ice cream man! Ice cream man!

31
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:20,580
{\an8}That backyard is a disgrace. Now get busy.

32
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,499
{\an8}That's a good suggestion, Mom.

33
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,042
{\an8}We'll take it under advisement.

34
00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:27,670
{\an8}But I can't go out dressed like this.

35
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:28,963
{\an8}What if someone sees me?

36
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{\an8}You're just going into our backyard.

37
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{\an8}No one will see you.

38
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NELSON: HAW...

39
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(grunts)

40
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,264
Haw!

41
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{\an8}Oh, man... Look at all this stuff.

42
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:47,607
{\an8}"Pull weeds, mow lawn,
scoop and bag 'dog business.'"

43
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There's got to be a way out of this.

44
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:51,820
Lisa, chop off my hands.

45
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,071
No!

46
00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,240
Then who'd chop off my hands?

47
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:57,200
All right, you chop my hands halfway off

48
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:58,827
and I'll still have strength to--

49
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,203
Get to work!

50
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:03,331
Kids, I made some lemonade for you.

51
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:04,374
BART: Sounds great.

52
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,708
LISA: Bring it in here.

53
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,585
(groans) What the...

54
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,546
What are you doing inside?

55
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,506
Work was hard, so we quit.

56
00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:12,507
What?

57
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,384
Hard work made us quit.

58
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,177
I see.

59
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,764
Well, then, no chores, no allowance.

60
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,267
OK. We get our room and board free anyway.

61
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And Santy Claus provides the rest.

62
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:24,936
(grumbling)

63
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(carnival music playing)

64
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(gasping)

65
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:33,111
The carnival!

66
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,405
We need money fast.

67
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,532
MARGE: Well, well, well.

68
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:40,034
Looks like somebody's
going to have to do some yard...

69
00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,120
It's carnival time. Here's money kids.

70
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,163
Take what you need.

71
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,831
Free money. Oh, boy.

72
00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,583
(all three) Ding, ding, ding, ding.

73
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(groaning)

74
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(music playing)

75
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,134
Ooh, ooh, I want to see
lobster boy and shrimp girl.

76
00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:57,760
I want some fried sugar.

77
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,430
I want to go on the yard work simulator.

78
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,598
MARGE: But when I ask you

79
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,016
to do yard work...

80
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(heavy sigh)

81
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,145
Wow! The tooth chipper!

82
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,814
(screaming)

83
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:13,026
(moaning and groaning)

84
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:15,820
(screaming)

85
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,864
(moaning and groaning)

86
00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:19,449
Ooh, ooh! Me first.

87
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,658
You can't go on that.

88
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,118
You have a heart condition.

89
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,329
Heart condition? Get out of here.

90
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:26,831
You had a quadruple bypass.
You nearly died.

91
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,374
Don't you remember?

92
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,960
Obviously, I don't.
If you'll get out of my way...

93
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,503
But it doesn't look safe.

94
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,547
And the guy running it looks seedy.

95
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:35,632
No offense.

96
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:36,758
None taken.

97
00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:38,968
He's not just some guy, Marge.

98
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:42,805
He's a Carny and part
of a noble tradition.

99
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,141
Carnies built this country--

100
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,851
The carnival part of it anyway--

101
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,312
And though they may be
ratlike in appearance,

102
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:52,190
they are truly kings among men.

103
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:53,650
OK. Let's go, fatty.

104
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:54,984
Yes, sir.

105
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,366
(all laughing)

106
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:02,867
(all groaning)

107
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,661
HOMER: Ow! My heart.

108
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:05,745
(heavy sigh)

109
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:11,876
Fear! Fear in the pit of your stomach.

110
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,878
No surgeon can save you.

111
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,256
No Bromo can soothe you.

112
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,882
Do you dare enter

113
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:21,552
the screamatorium of Dr. Frightmarestein?

114
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,596
Only two tickets left.

115
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,723
Two tickets? Whoa, what a break!

116
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(weak screaming)

117
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,854
(sound of tape rewinding)

118
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,564
(weak screaming)

119
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,149
This isn't very scary.

120
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,361
DRACULA-LIKE VOICE: I vant your blood.

121
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,780
Um, I think that one's broken.

122
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,409
Hee-haw!

123
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:45,994
That was just confusing.

124
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:50,581
Behold the ravages of age.

125
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,126
(buzzer blaring)

126
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,128
Boo! Exit to your left.

127
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,841
Sorry.

128
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,135
MAN: And they're off! There they go!

129
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,804
(children shouting)

130
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:06,222
(sputtering)

131
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,976
Why does this always happen
when I stand here?

132
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:12,395
What is it about this exact spot?

133
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,814
(sputtering)

134
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,232
It's happening again!

135
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,236
Three rings for a dollar.

136
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,447
Who's ready? Who's ready?

137
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,533
BOY: Seen any pidgeons yet, Dad?

138
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,453
(mindless humming)

139
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,791
(mindless cooing)

140
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:35,918
How about you, lucky?

141
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:38,087
(gasping) Who, me?

142
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,172
Hey, saw-top

143
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,591
Want your dad to win you a TV?

144
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,384
BART: Quick, Dad,
before somebody else wins it!

145
00:05:47,221 --> 00:05:48,598
Ooh, almost.

146
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:49,599
Rats. Too hard.

147
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,142
Ooh, that was close.

148
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,977
Wow, what a scam.

149
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,271
Sorry, son. Daddy failed.

150
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,856
Oh, listen, pal.

151
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,483
I got a son of my own.

152
00:05:58,566 --> 00:05:59,776
Here.

153
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:03,321
(sniffling) A novelty comb.

154
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,449
Kings among men.

155
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:09,869
You're looking at Adolf Hitler's
personal limousine.

156
00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:12,872
It's roomier than
Bonnie and Clyde's death car

157
00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:16,709
and was first automoble
to come with Farfegneugen.

158
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,378
CROWD: Ooh!

159
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:21,130
Wow, it's fuhrer-rific.

160
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,507
There are some who say

161
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,967
Hitler's skeleton is in the trunk.

162
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,553
Others say just his spare tire.

163
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,639
I'm a busy man, so I haven't checked yet.

164
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:33,976
Hmm... One of these
must activate the flamethrower.

165
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,897
-Uh-oh.
-(crowd gasping)

166
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:38,981
Bart!

167
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,901
What in the name
of high school football...

168
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,694
(crowd speaking indistinctly)

169
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,530
(horn honking)

170
00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:47,240
Out of my way. I'm Hitler.

171
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,744
Oh! Oh! Man, that hurts!

172
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,287
Oh, I can't stand it!

173
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:54,747
(screaming)

174
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,165
You are...

175
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,917
in grave danger!

176
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,003
(screaming)

177
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,593
You wrecked Hitler's car.

178
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,637
What did he ever do to you, huh?

179
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,847
(groaning)

180
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:21,649
Why, you just damaged the main attraction
of my carnival, son.

181
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:24,610
Hey, I thought I was your main attraction.

182
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:25,695
(stammering)

183
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:28,281
Oh, you are, Humphrey, you are.

184
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:31,826
Hey, he's getting away.
Not so fast, partner.

185
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,494
You owe me some money.

186
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:34,912
Hey, come on.

187
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,122
He doesn't have any money.

188
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:37,540
Look at his clothes.

189
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:38,708
Hmm...

190
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,711
Well, I still can't let him off the hook.

191
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:44,088
You're going to work off
your debt right here.

192
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,882
At the carnival? Cool.

193
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,259
Hey, that's not fair.
I want to be a Carny, too.

194
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,178
Can I, Mister? Huh? Can ? Please?

195
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,637
I don't know.

196
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:52,722
You going to get drunk

197
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,265
and start a lot of trouble?

198
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:56,225
Sure. Anything you want.

199
00:07:57,351 --> 00:08:00,354
All right. See you tomorrow, 6:00 a.m.

200
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:03,774
And you're going to work like
you've never worked before.

201
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,152
BOTH: Whoo-Hoo! Whoo-hoo!

202
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:08,571
We just saw the most amazing camel.

203
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,989
It was wearing a hat.

204
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:20,333
(alarm ringing)

205
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,680
-(rats squeaking)
-(chuckling)

206
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,684
Son, if you don't finish your cotton candy

207
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,186
you won't get your snow cone.

208
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,687
Aw, heck.

209
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:45,441
Hey, you lost your money fair and square.

210
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,817
I didn't scam nobody.

211
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:49,028
(laughing) Put down your stick.

212
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,613
We're here to work.

213
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,157
Starting today we're Carnies
just like you.

214
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:56,619
Well, in that case let me show you
how I scammed you.

215
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:57,787
Have a seat.

216
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,289
Spud, throw a couple more
apples in the caramel.

217
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,918
Ugh...

218
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,254
Oh, don't worry. That's just to
scare off thieves.

219
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,970
Yeah. He's telling the truth.

220
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:15,471
Thanks for the food, Mister.

221
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,806
Name's Cooder.

222
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,641
This is my boy, Spud,

223
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,184
and there's no need to thank us.

224
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,562
We carnival folks look out for each other.

225
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:23,938
That's the Carny Code.

226
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,982
Did you hear that, Bart?

227
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:29,360
The Carny Code. Bart, did you hear that?

228
00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:30,570
Yes.

229
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,321
Ah, there you are.

230
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,864
You two ready to work?

231
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:34,865
Yes, sir!

232
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,075
So what's our first job, huh?

233
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:37,159
Test the roller coaster?

234
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,828
-Fry up cheese?
-Hose down freaks?

235
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:41,914
Somethin' like that, yeah.

236
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:46,836
Oh, this isn't fun.

237
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,671
Maybe if you didn't
go to the bathroom so much

238
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,256
you wouldn't be so small.

239
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,216
Ow.

240
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,969
Please, folks, hold your fire.

241
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:57,305
The water level is dangerously low.

242
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:58,472
(yelling)

243
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,808
D-ohh! (crying)

244
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:02,268
Oh, my leg!

245
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:04,228
(cackling)

246
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:07,690
All right. Now, this geek bit
is pretty straightforward.

247
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:10,234
You just bite the heads off the chickens

248
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,320
and take a bow.

249
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:16,449
Go on. Give it a try.
Remember, big smiles.

250
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:19,994
-Oh, Bart?
-Yeah, Dad?

251
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,662
Do I like chicken?

252
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,289
Does it matter?

253
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:25,499
I guess not.

254
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:28,336
Hey, boss, me and Spud got to duck out

255
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:29,879
for our AA Meeting.

256
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,505
We need someone to cover for us.

257
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:32,590
(grunts)

258
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:37,094
OK. Simpson, you and your boy'll be
taking over the ring toss.

259
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,597
Dad, we're saved.

260
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,390
(mumbling)

261
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,143
Buddy, you're the luckiest
chicken in the world.

262
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:49,398
You see, the trick here
is the rings won't fit

263
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,566
over the good prizes.

264
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,485
Oh, we'll see about that.

265
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:53,944
Give me ten rings.

266
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,073
So, anyway, um...

267
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,408
The main thing is to bring in the rubes.

268
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,743
Do whatever it takes.

269
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:03,788
Sweet talk, insults, slang from the '30s.

270
00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:04,830
that no one uses anymore.

271
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:05,831
Like "rubes"?

272
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,667
Now you're on the trolley.

273
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,919
We gotta git. Here's the money box.

274
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:10,920
Any questions?

275
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:13,547
Uh, yeah. How do we handle refunds?

276
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,758
I'm going to give this to you.

277
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,218
-Good move.
-Give me ten rings.

278
00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,471
Lookee, lookee, hey, hey, wocka, wocka.

279
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:21,931
I got rings and you want them.

280
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:24,392
Win a genuine Ronex watch,

281
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,686
just like a real moogie star.

282
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,229
Hey, there's a sucker.

283
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,859
Aw, come on, Dad, get on the trolley.

284
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,280
Hey, high-pockets win something
for your girlfriend?

285
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,824
(both laughing)

286
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,036
Seymour, I want that lamp.

287
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,913
Win that lamp for me, Seymour.

288
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:48,124
All right, Simpson, be honest with me.

289
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,626
Is it actually possible to win this game?

290
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,044
If I like you it is.

291
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,004
Hot dog! Let's go.

292
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,300
No. Throw it over the peg.

293
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,261
Well, that's no good.

294
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,054
Oh, no! Are you blind?

295
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,223
I'm trying, Mother. It's hard.

296
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,434
You're failing, Seymour.

297
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,186
What is it about you and failure?

298
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,067
(grunting)

299
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,737
We're natural-born Carnies, Dad.

300
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,030
If only we weren't tied
down with a family.

301
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,199
Yeah. We could start our own game

302
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,201
where people throw ducks at balloons

303
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,704
and nothing's the way it seems.

304
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:29,331
Uh, I hate to interrupt your fun, boys

305
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,460
but I got a few complaints
that your game is crooked.

306
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,378
(chuckling) And how.

307
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,714
Gee, I'd hate to close you down.

308
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:40,050
Maybe we can reach a little, uh,
understanding here.

309
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,428
I understand.

310
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:44,638
Um, hey, dad...

311
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,265
I... I think he wants...

312
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,975
Not right now, son.

313
00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:49,977
Daddy's talking to a policeman.

314
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,604
Let me put it this way.

315
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:54,023
I'm looking for my friend "Bill."

316
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,734
Have you seen any "Bills" around here?

317
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:58,861
No.

318
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,446
He's Bart.

319
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:01,739
(groans)

320
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:08,204
Listen carefully and watch me wink
as I speak, OK?

321
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,455
OK.

322
00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:12,917
The guy I'm really looking for, wink

323
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,128
is Mr. "Bribe," wink, wink.

324
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,965
It's a ring toss game.

325
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,009
That's it. I'm shutting this game down.

326
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,762
(siren wailing)

327
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,806
Well, ain't that something?

328
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,140
Our game!

329
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,767
Our home!

330
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:30,810
Wh-what happened here?

331
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:31,894
Cops took it.

332
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,229
What?

333
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,314
Why didn't you bribe 'em?

334
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:37,149
I was trying to

335
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,652
but the opportunity never came up.

336
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,570
Oh, good lord.

337
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,114
Our whole life was in that trailer.

338
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,659
What are we going to do now?

339
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,911
Can't you stay in the whack-a-mole game?

340
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,997
SPUD: Naw. Fantastic Dan lives there.

341
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,416
Did you call me, Spud?

342
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,168
Look at them, Bart.

343
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,964
If a Carny can wind up homeless
it can happen to anyone.

344
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:01,715
I'm going for a corn dog. You want one?

345
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:05,219
Yes, but first there's a little matter
of the Carny Code.

346
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:08,472
Cooder, Spud, get off that hog.

347
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,474
You're coming to stay at our house.

348
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,060
(shuddering)

349
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:15,271
Why did you shudder just now, Mom?

350
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,772
I don't know.

351
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,029
You certainly have
a nice house here ma'am.

352
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,699
It must have taken you years
to win all this stuff.

353
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:29,577
Let me get you a coaster for those feet.

354
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,872
Hey, check this out.

355
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,291
I can unhinge all my joints at once.

356
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,709
(cracking)

357
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,632
Doing anything tonight, blue eyes?

358
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:44,800
Eww.

359
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,385
How long are those roustabouts

360
00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:48,012
going to be staying here?

361
00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,638
Oh, it won't be long.

362
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:50,931
Once their resume gets out

363
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,766
they'll have all kinds of offers.

364
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:55,561
The older one can pull out his left eye.

365
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:57,646
(screams)

366
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,189
COODER: A little help.

367
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,985
Here's a little trick
my grandmother taught me.

368
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,237
(all gasp)

369
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:12,578
(grunts)

370
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:13,913
HOMER: No.

371
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,374
Wow! Can you do that again?

372
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,001
Not for a little while.

373
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,837
So, Mr. Cooder, how long have you been

374
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,673
in the traveling amusement industry?

375
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,675
Oh, hell, the Cooders have been Carnies

376
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,886
ever since we came here in 1620

377
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:30,679
clinging to the side of the mayflower.

378
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,973
(grunts)

379
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:35,267
Thanks for dinner, Mom. I love you.

380
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:39,355
Aw, aren't you sweet? Hey! My pearls.

381
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,356
(laughing)

382
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,607
Spud taught me that.

383
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,317
Good one, Spud.

384
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,693
It sure is awful kind of you

385
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,237
to take us into your beautiful home here.

386
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:49,448
I just wish we had some way to repay you.

387
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,367
(whispering)

388
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:54,244
Yeah. Good thinking, Spudford.

389
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:57,998
Uh, you folks ever been
on a glass bottom boat ride?

390
00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,250
'Cause we just happen
to have some tickets.

391
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,711
Ooh, what a nice surprise.

392
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,797
This is so generous of you, Cooder.

393
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,550
Now who's the filthy
sleazebag, huh, Marge?

394
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:16,016
The undersea world certainly
is full of wonders.

395
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,018
(oohing and aahing)

396
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,191
That's our sister ship, the Athena.

397
00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:27,444
Went down with 88 souls just last week.

398
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:28,654
(shutters clicking)

399
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,030
I wonder how that happened?

400
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,532
Hey, come on, sharky!

401
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:33,617
Yeah. You want a piece of this?

402
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,828
You call yourself the king of the jungle.

403
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,955
(cracking)

404
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:41,917
That was fun! I wish we had
a glass bottom car.

405
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,962
I can't help but wonder
what we're missing.

406
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:49,758
I was wrong about the Cooders, Dad.

407
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,760
They're the nicest of all the transients

408
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,137
you've ever brought home.

409
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,471
(murmured agreement)

410
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,018
That's weird. The key doesn't fit.

411
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,186
Hey, someone's boarded up our windows.

412
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,521
Check this out.

413
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,607
What's going on?

414
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:06,775
Cooder!

415
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,944
What have you done to our house?

416
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,071
It's ours now.

417
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,448
Tell us where the extra sheets are

418
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,657
and get off our property.

419
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:16,910
(gasps) They're squatting in our house.

420
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,787
You can't do this to me.

421
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,248
What about the Carny Code?

422
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:24,460
(both laughing)

423
00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:33,761
HOMER: Carnies took over our house!

424
00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,012
You've got to help us.

425
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:38,140
Well, well, look who's here--
Mr. "No Bribe."

426
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,516
Sure we'll help you.

427
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,020
Just sit down and wait for detective
"Like-I-Give-a-Damn."

428
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:45,189
Thank you so much.

429
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:46,231
Dad...

430
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:48,817
Honey, daddy's waiting for the detective.

431
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,655
I found some food for breakfast.

432
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,700
I hope everyone likes the red things
that grow on this tree.

433
00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,537
Bart, you're brushing
your teeth with my twig.

434
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:03,290
So? I let you use my leaves.

435
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:04,416
(Cooders laughing)

436
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:07,377
Listen to 'em-- watching my television,

437
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:09,004
sitting on my couch.

438
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,756
You better not be in my ass-groove!

439
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:11,840
Homer!

440
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,967
It took me years to forge that groove.

441
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,677
(sax playing)

442
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:16,887
Oh!

443
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:19,306
One of them's playing my saxophone.

444
00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:20,808
(watery gurgling)

445
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:25,354
Oh, no! The spit valve!
Release the spit valve!

446
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:28,607
Over the sink! Over the sink!

447
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,486
Hey, look at me-- I'm a millionaire.

448
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:34,655
Wow, Dad!

449
00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:35,989
You look like James Bond.

450
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,533
(chuckles)

451
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,368
Hey, it's getting cold in here.

452
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,162
Throw another one of them
photo albums on the fire.

453
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:43,288
Which one--

454
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,874
"Precious Moments"
or "Treasured Memories"?

455
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,918
Quit your yapping. I'm freezing.

456
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,091
HOMER: Good morning, everybody.

457
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:58,053
-(Homer yells)
-MARGE: Homer!

458
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,597
HOMER: Stupid gravity.

459
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,892
We can't just give up our home.

460
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,394
There's got to be a way

461
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,521
to get those guys out of there.

462
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,898
I say, we set fire to the house--
kill them that way.

463
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,317
We don't want to kill them, Bart.

464
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,986
We just want our home back.

465
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:18,490
Well... If we did set fire to the house--

466
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,033
No fires!

467
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,578
-I've got it!
-No fires!

468
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:23,537
Aw.

469
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,789
There must be a way to outsmart them.

470
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:28,500
Uh, you can't outsmart carnival folk.

471
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,711
They're the cleverest folk in the world.

472
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:34,464
Just look at the way they sucker
regular folk with those crooked games.

473
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,342
(gasps) That's it!

474
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,345
Fire! Or...

475
00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:43,682
Cooder residence.

476
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,559
I got a proposition for you, Cooder.

477
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:47,519
Yeah. I'm listening.

478
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,354
One game of ring toss.

479
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:52,149
If I can throw this hula hoop
onto the chimney

480
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:54,318
you'll give us our house back.

481
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:58,030
If I miss, I'll sign the deed over to you.

482
00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,489
Homer, no!

483
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,116
Aw, you'll never make it, Dad!

484
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,954
So... We'd own the house legit?

485
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,372
That's right.

486
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:09,208
Deal.

487
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,633
Oh, I can't watch.

488
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,474
(neck cracks)

489
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:30,187
(grunts)

490
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,357
(kids groaning)

491
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,279
Now!

492
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,364
What the...

493
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,952
(all Simpsons laughing)

494
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:48,789
Hey, they just ran into the house.

495
00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:52,042
That Homer fella grifted you good, Dad.

496
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:54,795
Well, there's no shame in being
beaten by the best.

497
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:55,921
But he didn't seem--

498
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:58,799
We were beaten by the best, boy.

499
00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:01,969
I'm so proud of you, Homer.

500
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:03,762
You got our house back.

501
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:07,266
Way to go, Dad. You actually
outwitted someone.

502
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:10,644
Yeah, I guess your old man
is smarter than you thought.

503
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:15,482
Yeah. Look at them standing
out there-- no place to go.

504
00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:17,567
(laughs)

505
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:18,652
Poor guys.

506
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:21,738
Hey, what if we let them
stay here for just a few days?

507
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,116
Mom, get him away from the window.

508
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:26,201
Homer?

509
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,619
My groove!

510
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,665
Aw, they mushed it all out of shape.

511
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:35,210
All right. Better put on
a pot of coffee, Marge.

512
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,504
This could take a while.

513
00:21:37,587 --> 00:21:38,880
<i>♪ Uhh ♪</i>

514
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,549
<i>♪ Awww, sookie sookie now ♪</i>

515
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:41,633
(groaning)

516
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,176
<i>♪ Hey ♪</i>

517
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:45,554
<i>♪ Ow! Uhh! Come on, baby ♪</i>

518
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:46,763
<i>♪ Hey ♪</i>

519
00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:48,682
<i>♪ Groove me, baby ♪</i>

520
00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:51,685
<i>♪ I need you to groove me ♪</i>

521
00:21:51,768 --> 00:21:54,730
<i>♪ Ahhh, yeah, now, now, darling' ♪</i>

522
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:58,191
HOMER: <i>Come on, yo. Just a little... more.</i>

523
00:21:58,275 --> 00:22:00,569
<i>Oh, little more. Little left, left.</i>

524
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,738
<i>♪ Groove me, baby ♪</i>

525
00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,865
HOMER: <i>What did he do to this thing?</i>

526
00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:06,074
HOMER: <i>Almost. </i>(groaning)

527
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,702
<i>♪ Ahh, sock it to me, mama ♪</i>

528
00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:13,123
<i>♪ Uhh! Ahh! I like it like that, baby ♪</i>

529
00:22:13,206 --> 00:22:16,418
<i>♪ Uhh! Groove me, baby ♪</i>

530
00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:19,546
<i>♪ Hey! Uhh! Groove me, darlin' ♪</i>

531
00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:21,882
<i>♪ Come on, come on ♪</i>

532
00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:25,344
♪ <i>I need you to sock it to me, mama </i>♪

533
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,804
<i>♪ Come on, and now ♪</i>

534
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,182
<i>♪ Groove me, baby ♪</i>

535
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:33,101
<i>♪ Hey! Uh! ♪</i>

536
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:34,644
<i>♪ Good, God! ♪</i>

537
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,898
<i>♪ It makes me feel so good inside, mama ♪</i>

538
00:22:37,981 --> 00:22:39,691
-(murmuring)
-Shh!

539
00:22:42,944 --> 00:22:44,613
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Service

