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CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(bell ringing)
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(tires screeching)
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D'oh!
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(screams)
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(tires screeching)
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{\an8}Whoa-ho, Texas snowball fight!
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{\an8}(chuckling)
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{\an8}Ow! Bart, that has nuts in it.
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{\an8}Hey, I thought your mother
told you to take a bath.
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{\an8}Yeah, Mom says a lot of things.
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{\an8}Aw, I understand kids.
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{\an8}I'm not a bath man myself--
more of a cologne man.
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{\an8}Actually, we can't take a bath anyway.
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{\an8}The water heater is broken.
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{\an8}Don't worry.
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{\an8}Daddy'll fix it.
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{\an8}Hmm.
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{\an8}(grunting)
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{\an8}Out of my way! She's gonna blow.
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{\an8}(rumbling)
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{\an8}What on earth?
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{\an8}Hi, sweetie. I'm off to Moe's. Love you.
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(tires squealing)
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HOMER: To Marge...
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and all the blissful years
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{\an8}I've spent hiding from her in this bar.
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{\an8}ALL: Hear, hear.
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{\an8}Yeah, big deal-- you got a wife.
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I got a rash. Who cares?
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Uh, I'm sorry, Homer.
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It's just-- it's been
four years since my last date
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with a whatcha-call-it, uh, woman.
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Whatever happened
to your mail-order bride?
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Oh, she got homesick for her old life--
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Diving for tourist pennies
in a Micronesian swamp.
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So, her career got in the way.
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Yeah. I don't blame her.
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No girl wants to end up
with a Joe Puke-Pail like me.
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Now, now, I won't hear of it, Moe.
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You're a fabulous catch.
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Oh, yeah?
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Well, uh, how come I ain't
fending off movie starlets
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with a pointy stick?
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Oh, it's probably due to your ugliness,
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but that doesn't mean we
can't find you a woman.
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Come on.
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We're going to the darkest bar in town.
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♪ Ow, she's a brick... house ♪
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♪ She's mighty mighty ♪
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♪ Just lettin' it all hang out ♪
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♪ Oh, she's a brick... ♪
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Uh, I don't know, Homer.
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Women can smell panic
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and, uh, right now,
I got to be reeking of it.
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Relax.
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All I smell is garlic and fish.
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(sighs)
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♪ House... ♪
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Uh, you look pretty clean.
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You, uh, mind if I have this dance?
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It's all yours.
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(sighs)
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♪ Everything... ♪
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OK, I won't lie to you.
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A lot of people saw that.
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But you got to keep trying.
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(clears throat)
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♪ How can she lose
with the stuff she use... ♪
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So, hi there.
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Uh, don't scream.
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Oh, hi.
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Want to join me for a Bacardi and soda?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, that'd be great.
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Or maybe you'd prefer
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a cool refreshing Bacardi Colada...
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Sure. Whatever.
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Because Bacardi makes the night come alive
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with freshness.
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Uh, do you work for Bacardi?
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No. I'm in love with you.
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(sighs)
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Hey, don't give up, Moe.
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The girl of your dreams
has got to be in some bar.
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Aw, there's nobody for Moe.
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I'm just going to die
lonely and ugly and... dead.
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WOMAN: Well, hello, Mary Sunshine.
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Huh?
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Aw, cheer up.
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Here, have a flower.
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All right, come on, what's the catch?
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A gorgeous woman don't
just hand you a free daffy-dil.
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Really? You think I'm gorgeous?
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Yeah, well, the part that's showing.
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I guess you could have
a lot of weird scars
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or a fake ass or something.
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{\an8}You don't talk to a lot of women, do you?
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Well, no-no... Well, no, not a lot.
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I... gee, I'm sorry.
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I used to box, you know, and my brain's...
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Well, it's kind of in and out.
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Oh, that's awful,
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and look at your little ears.
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Yeah, there's extensive cauliflowering.
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Well, your bow tie is just darling.
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(laughing)
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Oh, well, thanks.
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Yeah, it kind of draws the eye
away from the old mug.
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I like a face with character.
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Let's get out of here, Moe.
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This is going nowhere.
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Yeah, I...
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Look, I don't suppose
you'd ever want to, uh--
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I don't know-- get together sometime?
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You mean, like a date?
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Well, I don't know.
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Oh, what was I thinking?
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A-a beautiful girl like you
and a gargoyle like me.
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-I-I'm sorry.
-Hold on, hold on.
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-I didn't say "no" exactly.
-Really?
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Hot damn! Don't eat nothing
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for the next three days,
'cause I'm taking you out
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for a steak the size of a toilet seat.
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Well, when you put it that way...
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My name's Renee.
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Who cares? You're going out with me.
(laughs)
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She's going out with me, cat!
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Mm... Muah!
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HOMER: Stop kissin' that cat,
and get in the car!
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♪ I thought love was
only true in fairy tales ♪
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♪ Meant for someone else but not for me ♪
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♪ Then I saw her face ♪
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♪ Now I'm a believer ♪
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♪ Not a trace ♪
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♪ Of doubt in my mind ♪
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♪ I'm in love ♪
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♪ Mmm... I'm a believer... ♪
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♪ I couldn't leave her if I tried ♪
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Hey, hey! Sabu!
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Uh, I need another magnum of
your best champagne here, eh?
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And bring us the finest food you got
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stuffed with the second finest.
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Excellent, sir...
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Lobster stuffed with tacos.
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(laughter)
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So, Renee, it looks like you've taken
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quite a shine to Moe.
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Do you mind if I ask why?
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Marge...
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I didn't mean any disrespect.
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I just can't figure it out.
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Well, to be honest,
at first, it was just pity...
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Ah.
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Yeah, it's like out
of a storybook, ain't it?
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But he's really grown on me.
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He's got this insecure, sweaty charm...
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Oh, yeah, I got that.
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And he's so thoughtful.
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Last night, he bought
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all the seats in a movie theater
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just so we could have
a romantic evening together.
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Yeah, well, I just get so tired
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of idiots shooting their mouths off
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laughing and clapping...
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makes me want to start poking eyes out
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and slashing guts and kicking throats.
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-It's OK, Moe.
-I'm sorry.
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It's just-- I'm so happy I met you.
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WAITER: Uh, excuse me, sir.
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Will there be anything else?
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Uh, yeah.
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Park the dessert cart under
this beautiful lady's nose
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and charge it all to my Players Club card.
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Ooh, Players Club.
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Yes, sir!
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MOE: Yeah, I want to send her
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two dozen roses
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and I want to put
something nice on the card
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like, um... uh, "Renee, my treasure..."
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(Barney laughing)
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Hey, shut up
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or I'll ram a stool down your throat!
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Uh, no, no-no,
I don't want that on the card.
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Well, let me hear how it sounds.
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Nah, nah, take it out. Take it out...
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And charge it to my Players Club card.
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Maxed out?
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(sighs) Look, I really need
these flowers, OK?
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I got a real tenuous hold
on my girlfriend here...
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(dial tone)
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Hello?
193
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Hello?
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(grunts)
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Well, that's it. It's all over.
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Renee ain't going to want to hang around
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with no Joe Pinchpenny.
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Aw, come on, Moe.
199
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:32,326
Think of all you have
to offer besides money.
200
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Hmm.
201
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,913
I need cash and lots of it.
202
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Um, all right, everybody,
I'm calling in your bar tabs.
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(clamoring)
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You bunch of ungrateful ingrates!
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You... Aw, Homer, what am I going to do?
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Renee's my last chance for true love.
207
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,303
If you really need money,
208
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:53,347
you could sell a kidney
or maybe even your car.
209
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,809
Nah, my car ain't worth nothing...
210
00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,897
But it is insured for five grand.
211
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,190
Homer, I need your help.
212
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,525
You got to steal this car
and wreck it for me.
213
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:05,526
Steal?
214
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,571
Oh, no, you got the wrong guy.
215
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,697
You dropped something.
216
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:12,074
Come on, Homer, I'm one
of your dearest friends.
217
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,201
When everybody said
218
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,827
you were too drunk to drive that time,
219
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,954
who gave you your keys?
220
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:21,417
Oh... You did, but I still don't know.
221
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,045
I can just imagine what Marge would say.
222
00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:27,048
Homer, I insist you steal that car.
223
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,466
I'll do it!
224
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,137
OK, here's the plan.
225
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:36,557
This model car represents my car, huh?
226
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:39,143
And this olive is you. Now...
227
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,645
Mmm... Me.
228
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,063
Hey, hey! Aw, that's great.
229
00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:43,981
Now the car's going
to have to represent you
230
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:48,486
and this little toy man
will represent the car...
231
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:50,112
All right, forget it,
forget it. Listen up here.
232
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,197
Tomorrow night at 8:00,
233
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,492
you go down to the waterfront
and you "steal" my car.
234
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:55,535
What about the cops?
235
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:56,744
That's the beauty part.
236
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:58,037
Every cop in town's going to be
237
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,082
on the police department's
moonlight charity cruise
238
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:02,542
And I'm gonna be right there with them.
239
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:05,628
So, as soon as you get back
240
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,338
we steal the car, right?
241
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:08,965
Ri... No, no, wrong.
242
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Listen, while I'm on the boat
with the perfect alibi,
243
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:15,012
you steal my car and park
it on the railroad tracks.
244
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:18,849
Then when the 10:15 train
comes along-- wham!
245
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,060
Insurance company pays off 5,000 clams,
246
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,020
I keep showing Renee the sweet life.
247
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,480
You're a genius, Moe.
248
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,649
All your troubles will soon be over
249
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for a couple of months.
250
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(all gulping and smacking lips)
251
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:35,866
Why all the black?
252
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:36,909
Why all the pearls?
253
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,744
Why all the hair? Why anything?
254
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,496
You look a little nervous, Dad.
255
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,165
No, you look a little nervous, Lisa.
256
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,542
You're up to something, aren't you?
257
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:48,921
No. I'm just going out
to commit certain deeds.
258
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(under breath) Suckers...
259
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,220
Thank you. Welcome, folks.
260
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,681
Have fun. Drink responsibly...
261
00:09:58,764 --> 00:09:59,890
Till we're a mile out.
262
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:00,975
(chuckles)
263
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:02,560
Uh, excuse me there, Officer.
264
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,061
You see my car there?
265
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,896
With the rubber hippie daisy,
266
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,648
space 7-a?
267
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,108
Uh, yeah, what about it?
268
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:10,192
I was just thinking
269
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,737
what a good parking job I did with it.
270
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:13,904
Yeah, hey, that is nice.
271
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:17,366
Hey, Lou! Lou, check out
that park job in 7-a.
272
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,452
Whoo-hoo-hoo! That's sweet.
273
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:24,290
(muted Dixieland playing)
274
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:25,416
(giggles)
275
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:28,919
I'm going to be the best car thief ever.
276
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,254
Hey!
277
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,964
Oh, no you don't!
278
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,007
MAN: Ow...
279
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,091
(tires squealing)
280
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:39,305
(laughs) He thought he was
gonna steal- d'oh!
281
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:42,058
♪ Stealing, stealing ♪
282
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,934
♪ Stealing a car for Moe ♪
283
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,936
♪ Da-da-da-da, da-da, da-da ♪
284
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,563
♪ Insurance fraud today... ♪
285
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,858
They're showing Hail to the Chimp!
286
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,985
Oh, I have time to see one little movie.
287
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,363
(tires screeching)
288
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:56,864
MAN: Mr. President,
289
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:58,324
{\an8}your welfare proposal
290
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:00,743
{\an8}Is nothing but a lot of technical jargon
291
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:01,952
and partisan rhetoric...
292
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:02,953
(shrieking)
293
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,121
(screams)
294
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,748
Get off me, Mr. President!
295
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:09,585
(laughs) That's what you get
for not hailing to the chimp.
296
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:15,007
(Big Band music playing)
297
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,554
Moe, you seem awfully distracted tonight.
298
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,848
And you're sweating a lot, even for you.
299
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:23,849
Am I?
300
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,267
Huh, hadn't noticed.
301
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,268
(cries out)
302
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,478
(loud crash)
303
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,731
RENEE: Isn't it a beautiful moon tonight?
304
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,233
Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
305
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:33,859
I'll look up with you in one minute.
306
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:34,860
(train whistle blows)
307
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:35,945
(gasps) The train.
308
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,863
Do you hear that?
That's the train. (sighs)
309
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,949
Isn't that the most beautiful
sound you ever heard?
310
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,410
It's almost as sweet as your voice.
311
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:43,828
Aw...
312
00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:45,663
Muah.
313
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:53,879
(train whistle blows)
314
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:54,880
Oh, no...
315
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,923
The train!
316
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,258
(tires screeching)
317
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:08,060
D'oh! I got to find
another way to wreck Moe's car.
318
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,687
(train whistle blows)
319
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,858
Oh, honey, this whole
evening was so wonderful.
320
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,401
Except when that drunken cop
321
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,403
started firing at those seagulls.
322
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:19,864
-(seagull squawking)
-(man screams) Get him off!
323
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,866
Yeah, yeah, the plan went off
without a hitch.
324
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:22,908
What plan?
325
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,578
The what? The- the wonderful evening plan.
326
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,955
WIGGUM: Hey, Moe.
Isn't that your car up there
327
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:29,915
with the rubber hippie daisy?
328
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,917
The one that was parked in 7-a?
329
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:35,004
Hey! Hey, what's it doing there?
330
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,214
It was supposed to be
on the railroad tracks.
331
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,675
No, I mean, the parking lot.
332
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,303
Homer, you moron.
333
00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,430
Homer, you genius.
334
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,390
(chuckles)
335
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,933
Geronimo!
336
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:48,934
(groans)
337
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,352
(grunting)
338
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,271
Huh?
339
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:54,356
(screams)
340
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,694
(screams)
341
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,114
(sighs)
342
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,200
(shrieks)
343
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,660
(screams)
344
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:07,870
(thud)
345
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:09,288
(sighs)
346
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,624
(screams)
347
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,709
(muted scream)
348
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,299
Huh.
349
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:25,638
Huh. Well, that car thief
can't hold his breath forever.
350
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:26,972
And if he can, chief?
351
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,058
Then God help us all.
352
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,938
(guns cocking)
353
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:35,815
Isn't that your friend Homer?
354
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:39,193
Oh, oh! Homer!
355
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,987
Oh, how... could you?
356
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,698
You're under arrest,
Simpson, for grand theft auto.
357
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:45,908
Now put up your hands.
358
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:47,618
(whimpers)
359
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:49,995
{\an8}(camera clicking)
360
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,163
Brilliant! Brilliant!
361
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,998
OK, let's do another, but this time,
362
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,708
try to look scarier.
363
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,710
Kind of like... (growls)
364
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:59,004
-Grr.
-Gorgeous! Gorgeous, baby.
365
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,089
That's it. That's it.
366
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,927
Your fingerprints
are just like snowflakes.
367
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,512
They're both very pretty.
368
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:09,139
LOU: Simpson! You have visitors.
369
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,519
Homer, did you really steal a car?
370
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:14,895
Whoa! Hang on a minute.
371
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,605
The guard said I had visitors coming.
372
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,816
Dad, we're the visitors.
373
00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:21,652
Oh. Oh! Oh, great.
374
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,864
Listen, I know it looks bad,
but all I can tell you
375
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,200
is I destroyed that car
for all the right reasons.
376
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,786
I'd like to believe you...
377
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,079
That's my girl.
378
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:33,372
You just go home
379
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:36,166
and don't worry your
pretty blue head about it.
380
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,586
Moe will take care of everything.
381
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,671
Well, Dad, in the meantime,
here's a carton of smokes
382
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:41,922
you can use to buy stuff.
383
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,966
Aw, thanks, boy.
384
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,926
I'll give you two packs
for that candy bar.
385
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,928
-Three. Why, you little--
-(choking)
386
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:49,847
Guard! Guard!
387
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,932
(snoring)
388
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:55,185
MOE: Psst! Homer. Homer, wake up.
389
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,897
Moe! Oh, Moe, thank God you're here.
390
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,899
Yeah, congratulations, Homer.
391
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,775
The plan worked perfectly.
392
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,152
But I'm in jail.
393
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,570
Yeah, yeah, that's a...
394
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,196
That's a kick in the pants.
395
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,908
Moe, you got to get me out of here.
396
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,910
Tell the cops I didn't steal the car.
397
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,202
Say you lent it to me.
398
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,746
Yeah, I wish I could, Homer.
399
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,164
But if I change my story,
400
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,665
they're gonna throw me in here.
401
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,002
But, Moe, we're best friends.
402
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,924
Oh, cripes, the puppy dog look.
403
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:25,925
(sighs)
404
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,259
All right, all right.
405
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,386
I'll use the money to bail you out.
406
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,387
Hurry, Moe.
407
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,557
At 3:00, they're going to
put us in the exercise yard.
408
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,143
The exercise yard!
409
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:38,562
Is everything OK, honey?
410
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:39,897
Your shirt is so dry.
411
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,732
Yeah, yeah, I'm OK.
412
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,317
There's just something I got to do.
413
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,694
Oh, look at that-- Hawaii.
414
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,030
Oh, that looks so romantic.
415
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,785
Well, if Hawaii's what my baby wants,
416
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,329
Hawaii's what my baby gets.
417
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,665
Oh, no, that's too expensive.
418
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:58,958
Let's just get a can of poi
419
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,125
and eat it in the tub.
420
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,419
Nah, nah, nah, we're going
for the real thing.
421
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:03,712
First class all the way.
422
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,464
Come on, we can leave tonight.
423
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,054
(Hawaiian music playing)
424
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,307
Mmm.
425
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,227
Ten minutes till fresh air and exercise.
426
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,897
(gasps) Hurry up, Moe.
For the love of God, hurry up!
427
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:23,899
Hawaii, here we come.
428
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:28,862
(singing in Hawaiian)
429
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:29,905
(chuckles)
430
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,031
(in English) Hawaii?
431
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,908
What about Hawaii?
432
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,411
Moe? Who's going to Hawaii?
433
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,912
Am I going to Hawaii?
434
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:37,997
(clanging)
435
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,165
Stop saying "Hawaii" in there.
436
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,587
Let me out! I'm innocent!
437
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,172
I changed my mind!
438
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,842
I don't want to be in here anymore!
439
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:50,843
Forget it, Simpson.
440
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,094
You're going to the chair.
441
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,095
(gasps)
442
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,638
The interrogation chair.
443
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:55,639
(relieved sigh)
444
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:56,890
-Plug it in, boys.
-(gasps)
445
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,394
Ukelele...
446
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,729
Pineapples...
447
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,480
Beach pistol...
448
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,816
Scandalously revealing thong.
449
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:08,235
(eerie voice): Going somewhere?
450
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:09,570
Wha...?
451
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:11,739
(gasps)
452
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:12,906
Homer!
453
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,367
Moe...
454
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,871
You killed me.
455
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,998
Hey, no. No, y-you ain't dead.
456
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:22,791
Y-y-you're just in jail.
457
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,752
Oh, right.
458
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,295
Wait a second.
459
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,380
I'm in jail because of you.
460
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:32,718
You were my friend, and you betrayed me.
461
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,636
Oh, my God, he's right.
462
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,098
Oh, how could I treat a friend that way?
(grunts)
463
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,975
HOMER: Exactly.
464
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:44,354
Exactly!
465
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,814
(gulping)
466
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,233
Hey, get your mouth off of that.
467
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,693
RENEE: Were you yelling at me, Moe-Moe?
468
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,904
Huh? No. No, no, no.
469
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,572
It's just that, um...
470
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,282
(sighs)
471
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:58,160
Renee, there's something
I got to tell you.
472
00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,203
Oh, no.
473
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:00,579
You're gay, aren't you?
474
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,373
Oh, boy, Renee, you sure can pick them.
475
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,792
Nah, it ain't that.
476
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:05,959
What, so you're married?
477
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,377
No, no.
478
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:10,130
I-- Hey, why did you say "gay" first?
479
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,215
Mm-hmm.
480
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:18,722
Would you care for some reading material?
481
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,974
Hmm... This could be useful.
482
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,059
(grunts)
483
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,648
So, like a coward,
484
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:30,067
I let Homer take the rap
for the whole scam.
485
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:31,443
And now, the only way to clear him
486
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,153
is to turn myself in.
487
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,614
I-I don't know what to say.
488
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:36,657
I'm shocked.
489
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,827
I mean, you broke the law
and betrayed a friend.
490
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,620
Yeah, you're right.
491
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:42,913
You shouldn't be wasting your time
492
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,832
with a lowlife like me.
493
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:46,083
Oh, Moe, don't say that.
494
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,709
You made a mistake,
495
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,837
but at least you're trying
to set things straight.
496
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,046
Yeah, that's true.
497
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,173
That's true, baby. Hmm.
498
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,842
It'll be hell being locked away from you,
499
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:57,469
but I guess I got to take my medicine.
500
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:00,556
Unless...
501
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,600
Unless I send a letter
to the police clearing Homer.
502
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:04,601
Yeah?
503
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,104
Then we go to the graveyard
and steal two corpses.
504
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:08,105
Oh, my God.
505
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:10,774
We switch clothes with them
and leave them in the bar.
506
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,734
Then we pour some brandy around
507
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,486
like so...
508
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:15,863
Yeah, would you hand me my keys?
509
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,698
Uh, yeah. Here you go.
510
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:18,949
Then, we light a match.
511
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,869
And fwoof! We start a new life in Hawaii.
512
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:22,870
Good-bye, Moe.
513
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:23,871
Where you going, baby?
514
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,414
You going to find the corpses?
515
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,833
Yes, Moe, I'm going to find corpses.
516
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:32,588
Uh, well, you want me to come with?
517
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:33,630
Renee?
518
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:34,923
Dearest?
519
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:35,966
Ahh...
520
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:37,926
She ain't coming back.
521
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,012
Ow! Ow! Ow!
522
00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:41,263
Uh-oh.
523
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,975
Must kill Moe.
524
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:46,894
Whee!
525
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,771
Must kill Moe.
526
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,148
Whee!
527
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,402
You!
528
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:56,695
Homer, thank God.
529
00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:57,738
You gotta help me here.
530
00:19:57,821 --> 00:19:59,489
Oh, I'll help you.
531
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:00,782
Help you die!
532
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:01,992
(yells)
533
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:03,660
All right, that's it.
534
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,412
You're going down, pal.
535
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:06,955
(both grunting)
536
00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:09,499
(both coughing)
537
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,253
Oh, boy.
538
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,922
(coughing)
539
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,548
I really want to sleep.
540
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,926
{\an8}I... also sleep.
541
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,135
{\an8}Good night, Mommy.
542
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:26,475
{\an8}Moe! Homer!
543
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:27,768
{\an8}(screams)
544
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:29,102
{\an8}The booze!
545
00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:45,702
{\an8}(wheezing and coughing)
546
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:46,912
{\an8}(groans)
547
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:50,958
Oh, Homer, I've been
the world's biggest rat.
548
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,292
Can you ever forgive me?
549
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:56,380
Oh, I could never stay mad at you, Moe.
550
00:20:56,463 --> 00:21:00,175
After all, you get me drunk.
551
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:02,928
Aw!
552
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:05,514
Ah, my poor bar.
553
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,016
It's all gone.
554
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,977
-(sobbing)
-Aw, Moe, Moe.
555
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:13,981
Moe, dry those beady little eyes.
556
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:18,110
Your buddy Homer'll get
you back on your feet.
557
00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:21,822
♪ Well, I ain't seen my baby
since I don't know when ♪
558
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,407
♪ I've been drinkin' bourbon, whiskey ♪
559
00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:24,825
Moe, another beer down here.
560
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:25,951
Coming right up.
561
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:29,329
♪ Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose ♪
562
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,999
♪ Need me a triple shot of that juice ♪
563
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,208
Hey, there's a balloon machine
564
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,209
in the bathroom.
565
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,544
Kids, from now on,
566
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:38,839
I don't want you touching
anything in our house.
567
00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:40,716
Dart!
568
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:43,302
-Woo-hoo!
-Yeah! Nice shot, Homer!
569
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:44,386
(cheering)
570
00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:45,762
ALL: Yay!
571
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,850
♪ One bourbon ♪
572
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:51,393
♪ One scotch ♪
573
00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:53,228
♪ One beer ♪
574
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:39,816
(murmuring)
575
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:40,942
Shh!
576
00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:45,822
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services