1 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:06,506 CHORUS: The Simpsons 2 00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:08,466 (tires screeching) 3 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,219 D'oh! (screams) 4 00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:12,470 (tires screeching) 5 00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:16,099 HOMER: Ooh! 6 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,575 {\an8}-(alarm beeping) -McBain to base. 7 00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:36,661 {\an8}Under attack by Commie Nazis. 8 00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:41,332 (beeping) 9 00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:49,924 They won't stop me from delivering these UNICEF pennies. 10 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,094 (grunts) 11 00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,722 (grunts) Go, pennies. 12 00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:59,059 Help the puny children who need you. 13 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:02,187 {\an8}Wow. McBain is really buffed up. 14 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,230 {\an8}You could grate cheese on those abs. 15 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,191 {\an8}Yeah. But can he do this? 16 00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,905 {\an8}(sighs) 17 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,158 {\an8}(shudders) 18 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:23,958 -I surrender. -Not so fast. 19 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:31,132 {\an8}That's what I call breakneck speed. (laughs) 20 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,301 {\an8}Mom, a man just died. 21 00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:37,597 {\an8}(groans) Anyway, it's time for the church picnic. 22 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,350 {\an8}What? They had a picnic last week. 23 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:44,312 {\an8}No, they didn't. You just brought a bucket of chicken to church. 24 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,773 {\an8}If God didn't want us to eat in church 25 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,691 {\an8}he would have made gluttony a sin. 26 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:00,954 Hey! 27 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,997 (all laughing) 28 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,333 {\an8}(chuckles) Ah, the joke's on you. 29 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,961 {\an8}We borrowed that jar from your table. 30 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:10,130 {\an8}So you just shot your own mustard. 31 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,673 Aw, nuts. 32 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:14,551 {\an8}HOMER: Ooh. Still plenty of parking. 33 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,010 {\an8}(children chattering) 34 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:18,471 {\an8}Nice to see you, Homer. 35 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:21,474 Yeah. Out of my way, whoever you are. You're blocking the food. 36 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:26,855 {\an8}(giggling) 37 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,942 {\an8}Ah, there's nothing like a good old-fashioned picnic. 38 00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:32,902 How's my kite doing, Smithers? 39 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,738 {\an8}Oh, it's, uh, soaring majestically, sir. 40 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,240 {\an8}You're it. 41 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:40,368 {\an8}We'll see about that. After him, Smithers. 42 00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:43,329 Aaah! You're not it! 43 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,000 Gentlemen, the game is capture the flag. 44 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:52,297 -Rod, ladies pick first. -OK. I choose... Todd. 45 00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:55,592 Oh! Oh! Oh! Bart! Bart! Bart! 46 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,051 Over here! Over here! 47 00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:59,470 -Um, I'll take... -MILHOUSE: Pick me! Pick me! 48 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,597 Nelson. 49 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,642 {\an8}Saving the best for last, huh, Bart? 50 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:06,519 {\an8}Yeah. That must be it. 51 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:10,690 I pick my dad. Do you want to play capture the flag, Daddy? 52 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,860 (chuckles) Sports on a Sunday? 53 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,945 {\an8}Hmm. I better check with Reverend-- 54 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,906 LOVEJOY: Oh, just play the damn game, Ned. 55 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:20,533 Yeah. Well, if you get a grown-up, then so do we. 56 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:23,244 -I pick my dad. -(snoring) 57 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,455 {\an8}-NELSON: Him? -Well, you'd be surprised. 58 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,498 He gets pretty competitive when he's drinking. 59 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:30,543 Come on, Dad. We're playing capture the flag. 60 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,171 Sorry, Son. Daddy's down for the day. 61 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,256 Why don't you go capture me some more potato salad. 62 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:39,177 {\an8}But Rod picked his dad. It's a matter of family honor. 63 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:42,138 {\an8}Flanders is playing? Why didn't you say so? 64 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,182 (grunting) 65 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,312 (sighs) Oh. It appears 66 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:52,315 I will have to find a new fortress of solitude. 67 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,488 OK, Dad. They've got our flag guarded pretty good. 68 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,073 I agree. Let's surrender. 69 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:03,326 No. Wait. I have a plan. But I'll need your underpants. 70 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:06,996 Hmm. All right. But don't lose 'em. They're my only pair. 71 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,916 I got it! I got the flag! 72 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:12,710 -(all shouting) -Get him! Get him! He's getting away! 73 00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:15,546 (chuckles) Stupid kids. 74 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,300 {\an8}Pin him! 75 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,387 -(all grunting) -This isn't the flag. 76 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,431 It looks more like-Ew! 77 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:29,060 {\an8}(laughs) Suckers. Go, Dad! 78 00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:31,062 (panting) 79 00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:33,731 -(all shouting) -(panting, wheezing) 80 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:37,568 -(shouting continues) -MILHOUSE: He's getting away! 81 00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,988 (panting) 82 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:43,408 {\an8}Come on, Dad. Just a few more feet. Show 'em what you got. 83 00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,285 (panting) 84 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,745 MILHOUSE: Go! Get him! Go! Go! 85 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,373 {\an8}MILHOUSE: Tag him! Tag him! 86 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:53,001 -Tag him! Quick! Tag him! -Time out! Time out! 87 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,253 Oh, I don't think he can get up. 88 00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:57,714 -Let's egg him! -ALL: yeah! 89 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,091 (all shouting, laughing) 90 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,806 (shouting) Ow! Stop it! 91 00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:09,142 Hey. He's trying to turn over. 92 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,185 (all shouting) 93 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,607 (whimpering) 94 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:17,984 (groans) 95 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,906 HOMER: I've never seen Bart so ashamed of me. 96 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:30,538 {\an8}Oh, Marge. How could you let me let myself go like this? 97 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:33,666 Me? I'm not the one who puts butter in your coffee. 98 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:37,003 Yeah. Well, I've humiliated my son for the last time. 99 00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:40,798 {\an8}-I'm going to get into shape. -Whatever you say, sweetie. 100 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,676 No. I mean it. I'm really serious this time. 101 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:48,431 {\an8}OK, honey. OK. I'll start taking in all your slacks. 102 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,433 (laughs) 103 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:56,856 (grunts) 104 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,531 -(panting) -OK, boy. 105 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,034 I want you to keep this exercise thing under your hat. 106 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:10,203 That way, I won't be embarrassed if I fail. 107 00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,704 -(barks) -(screeches) 108 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,956 Oh, great. Now the cat knows. 109 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,709 OK. Here we go. 110 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,753 (panting) 111 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,719 {\an8}Oh! 112 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,805 (growling) 113 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,851 (inhales deeply) Look, son. Daddy got in shape. 114 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,062 (exhales deeply) 115 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,397 {\an8}(groans) Oh. 116 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,399 {\an8}I've gotta keep trying. 117 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,068 {\an8}Or I could just move that picture. 118 00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,487 {\an8}No. The picture looked good where it was. 119 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:47,407 {\an8}Boy, drag me back outside. 120 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,368 (growling) 121 00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:52,995 (panting) 122 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:57,458 (groans) D'oh! 123 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,501 Hey! 124 00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:05,174 (groans) D'oh! (groans) 125 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,301 -(bell dings) -(panting) 126 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,137 (snoring) 127 00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:13,975 -Hmm? (clears throat) -So what will it be, Mr. Simpson? 128 00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:16,811 Your usual bucket of ice cream covered with miniature pies? 129 00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:19,856 Uh, don't you have anything healthy here? 130 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,567 {\an8}Oh, well, we do have some low-salt candy bars 131 00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,569 {\an8}and some reduced-fat soda. 132 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:28,072 {\an8}And our beef jerky is now nearly rectum-free. 133 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:31,325 Hey. These Powersauce bars look pretty healthy. 134 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:35,204 Oh, yes. That is a new item. No bar contains more applesauce. 135 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,747 Hmm. 136 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,875 "A bushel of apples packed in each bar 137 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,835 plus the secret ingredient that unleashes... 138 00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:43,588 the awesome power of apples." 139 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:44,797 Wow! 140 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:52,680 (mispronouncing) "Gym"? what's a "gym"? 141 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:59,020 (mispronounces) Oh. A "gym." 142 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,235 Ow. Ow. 143 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,071 Boy, I'm feeling this. Ow. 144 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,741 Ooh, my head's gonna be sore in the morning. (grunts) 145 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,869 Excuse me. You're doing this station all backwards. 146 00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:17,830 -Let me show you how to do it like a man. -(gasps) 147 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,791 Rainier Wolfcastle! Oh, I love your movies 148 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,336 and your Powersauce bars and your taught, rippling-- 149 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:27,548 Hey, hey, hey. That's enough. Now step over to the Abdominator... 150 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:30,009 and I will shout slogans at you. 151 00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:33,638 -(grunting) -Push. Harder. 152 00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:37,600 Go past the max. Reach over the top. Master your ass. 153 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,644 {\an8}(crackling) 154 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,395 (grunting) 155 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:45,858 Wow, Wolfie. Two months ago I didn't know what the word dumbbell meant. 156 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,694 -This place is great. -Mm-hmm. 157 00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:54,659 Hello, handsome. Nice muscles. 158 00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:56,619 Care for a rubdown? 159 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,622 Oh! Well, I'm flattered but spoken for. 160 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,541 Oh, what the heck. Give me your number. 161 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:05,628 {\an8}Dad, what have you done to your stomach? 162 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:08,381 {\an8}-And your chest. -And your shirt! 163 00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:13,052 I have been working out secretly at night. And look at me now! 164 00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:15,638 {\an8}Oh, my goodness gracious! 165 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:18,849 (chuckles) Go ahead. Try and grab some flab. 166 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,851 Go on! No. Not there. 167 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,937 Not there either. Over here. 168 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,898 {\an8}-I've got some. -No. Here. Try my foot. 169 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:28,859 No. Not that foot. Just feel my biceps. 170 00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,487 {\an8}-Ooh! -Whoa! 171 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,740 Well, what do you think of your old man now, Son? 172 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,409 -(grunts) -whoa! 173 00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:37,577 Damn right. 174 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,501 How can you put that filth into your bodies? 175 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,796 My casserole is not filth. 176 00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:51,007 -Eat it. -Look at you people. 177 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,926 Bart's a tub. Lisa's weak as a little girl. 178 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:56,304 And Maggie doesn't seem to be growing at all. 179 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,306 -Now that's just not-- -You too, Marge. 180 00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:02,310 if you toned up a little, you'd probably get a lot more action. (clicks tongue) 181 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:06,606 Homer, stop insulting us and eat your filth. Food. I mean food. 182 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:09,483 Sorry. I only eat food in bar form. 183 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:13,487 When you concentrate food, you unleash its awesome power, I'm told. 184 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,740 That's why I'm compressing five pounds of spaghetti... 185 00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:18,576 into one handy, mouth-size bar. 186 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,705 (gulps) 187 00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:25,333 -hmm. -(beeping) 188 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,376 -(line rings) -Hospital, please. 189 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,713 (grunting) 190 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:33,924 Homer, please remember to wipe your sweat off that machine. 191 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,427 I got a terrible rash yesterday. 192 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,346 You know Rainier Wolfcastle? 193 00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:41,932 Yeah. He helped me blast through the burn and ride the zone. 194 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,434 (grunting) 195 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:46,020 Yo, yo, Rainier, my man. How you doing? 196 00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:48,189 I thought you'd be here pumping those guns. 197 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:51,275 We've come up with a killer promotion for Powersauce bars. 198 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,986 -Picture this. You-- -I love it. 199 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:57,073 Climb the highest mountain in Springfield. 200 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,157 The Murderhorn. 201 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,701 Are you crazy? That's suicide. 202 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:03,371 (scoffs) Sure! For experienced mountain climbers. 203 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:07,458 {\an8}But you're a movie star. And you'll have the Powersauce edge. 204 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:11,003 {\an8}Not for all the applesauce in Glückenschlabel. 205 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:17,176 {\an8}My dad could do it. He eats 50 dollars' worth of Powersauce bars a day. 206 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,180 {\an8}Overshoot the extreme. Max the envelope and so on. 207 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:24,392 Wow. He's really been paying attention to our slogans. 208 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:25,851 Brad, a word? 209 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:31,649 New angle, Joe Schlub eats Powersauce bar, becomes world's mightiest man. 210 00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,609 It's believable. That's what I like about it. 211 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,196 -Congratulations, sir. -Huh? 212 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:40,116 You're gonna be the first man to climb the Murderhorn. 213 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,158 I am? 214 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,041 Uh, no. That's it over there. 215 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,459 (gasps) 216 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:54,004 {\an8}Yeah. That's it. 217 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:56,632 {\an8}Just to the right of the one you're looking at. 218 00:11:58,759 --> 00:11:59,885 (whimpers) 219 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,264 (whimpers) Oh. 220 00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,601 HOMER: OK. Mountain climbing supplies. 221 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:10,980 {\an8}Rope. Ice ax. Heart medicine. 222 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,982 Son, don't go up that mountain. 223 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:16,318 You'll die up there, just like I did. 224 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,237 You? "Did"? 225 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,824 Sure. It was the winter of '28. 226 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:26,746 The Butter Baby Flapjack Company sponsored me and a fella named McAllister. 227 00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:32,168 We were almost to the top when we ran low on supplies. 228 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:36,338 Heroically, I gave him the last short stack. 229 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:46,223 Then that glory hog took all the supplies and headed for the top alone. 230 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:49,018 (screaming) 231 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:54,607 I fell 8,000 feet onto a pile of jagged rocks. 232 00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:57,401 Of course, folks were tougher in those days. 233 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,987 I was jitterbugging that very night. 234 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:03,866 But that skunk McAllister was never seen again. 235 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,952 If you're trying to scare me, it won't work. 236 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,705 I'm 100% focused on my goal. 237 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,625 Hey. My hat has earflaps. 238 00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:15,628 And when he reaches the top, Mr. Simpson here 239 00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:18,964 will plant this Powersauce flag as an eternal symbol... 240 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,133 of mans contempt for nature. 241 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,135 Wait. Is "contempt" the word I want here? 242 00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:26,430 Homer, you're the world's greatest hero. 243 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,349 Do you owe it all to Powersauce? 244 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:30,226 That's right, Brad and Neil. 245 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:34,230 I only eat Powersauce, the bar with "applesauceicity." 246 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:38,526 Has anyone mentioned that Homer doesn't know anything about mountain climbing... 247 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:40,653 and that this is all crazy? 248 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,822 Well, yes. A number of people. But don't worry. 249 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:46,116 We're sending two Sherpas along as guides. 250 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,995 {\an8}(speaking native language) 251 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,289 Aw. Good-bye, everyone. 252 00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:55,251 -Don't touch my stuff. -Dad, wait. 253 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,879 You're not risking your life just to impress me, are you? 254 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,965 Well, yeah. 255 00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:02,925 Oh, cool. Now get going. Chop-chop. 256 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,973 Remember our agreement. He can't fail. 257 00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:13,227 -(Homer wheezing) -(oxygen hissing) 258 00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,483 Oh, man. This is hard. 259 00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:22,236 Uh, Dad... 260 00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:25,865 shouldn't you save a couple bottles for when you're a little higher? 261 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:32,329 Bart, this climb is the most difficult ordeal I have ever faced. 262 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:37,167 Don't get discouraged, Dad. Only four vertical miles to go. 263 00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:38,627 HOMER: D'oh! 264 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,671 (snoring) 265 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,555 (both grunting) 266 00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,309 (roaring) 267 00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:56,687 Huh? 268 00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,939 (sighs) 269 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,692 Wow. Look how far I climbed. 270 00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,736 And I'm not even tired. 271 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,362 -(kicking) -Wake up, you lazy Sherpas. 272 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,406 We've got a mountain to climb. 273 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,867 {\an8}`(native language) 274 00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:19,001 This Powersauce newsbreak is brought to you by Powersauce. 275 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,545 Get sauced with Powersauce. Neil? 276 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:26,133 Our top story: Homer Simpson has just "powersauced" his way... 277 00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,219 past the halfway point of the Murderhorn. 278 00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:31,805 Brad, could Homer have made it this far 279 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:35,142 without the engineered nutrition of six kinds of apples? 280 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,686 No way, Neil. Oh. This just in. 281 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,521 Powersauce is amazing! 282 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:48,572 (mutters) Huh? what the-- 283 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,659 Hey! You guys are dragging me up the mountain. 284 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:52,785 (grunt) 285 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:56,747 Brad and Neil were quite insistent you not die. 286 00:15:56,830 --> 00:16:00,626 -Frankly, we don't care. -So nobody believes I can do this, huh? 287 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:03,837 Well, my son does. And I'm not gonna let him down. 288 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,966 I'm going to climb this entire mountain on my own. 289 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:10,803 Then technically shouldn't you go back down and start all over? 290 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:13,764 Shut up! You are so fired! 291 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:17,142 -whoo-hoo! -(laughing) 292 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,437 Homer Simpson here. 293 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:24,108 I've sent the Sherpas home, and I'm heading for the top- solo. 294 00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:26,151 Are you crazy? You'll never make it. 295 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:30,531 The hell I won't. You're forgetting I've got my Powersauce bars. 296 00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:33,575 Wake up, Homer. Those bars are just junk. 297 00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:36,286 They're made of apple cores and Chinese newspapers. 298 00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:39,498 Hey. Deng Xiaoping died. 299 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:43,127 NEIL: Homer, listen to me. Turn back now! 300 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:46,505 Forget it. I'll be at the top by noon. Over and out. 301 00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:47,798 (static) 302 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,680 Homer Simpson, defying all medical advice 303 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:59,059 has switched to Powersauce's arch-rival, the Vita-Peach Health Log. 304 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:00,686 Doctors say he may not have 305 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,980 the mega-nutrients needed to stave off death. 306 00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:05,816 Oh, Dad's gonna die, and it's all my fault. 307 00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,693 I really need a good talking-to. 308 00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:10,821 Don't worry, kids. Your father will be OK 309 00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:14,199 -as long as he's with those Sherpas. -Uh, Mom. 310 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,162 (brakes screech) 311 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,292 (groans) 312 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,377 (grunting) 313 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,130 Eight. (panting) 314 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,093 (grunting) 315 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,304 {\an8}(groans) Air's getting thin. 316 00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,097 But I'm gonna make it. 317 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,392 Ooh. Getting light-headed. 318 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:44,563 {\an8}Good. No heavy head to carry. 319 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,441 Wait. I'll just take that escalator. 320 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:54,073 (humming) 321 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,244 (giggles) 322 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,624 Huh? 323 00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,461 (humming) 324 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:18,847 (vocalizing) 325 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,725 (vocalizing continues) 326 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:22,935 D'oh! 327 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,608 (grunting) 328 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:33,529 Just a few feet more. 329 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:49,002 I did it. I made it all the way to-- 330 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,004 Aw, crap! 331 00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:55,884 It just keeps going! (sobbing) I give up. 332 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,928 You beat me, mountain! 333 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:05,102 (sighs) At least I won't freeze to death. 334 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:10,858 (yelps) 335 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:15,154 "Last entry, I have mountaineered to the utmost... 336 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,072 but the peak is unclimbable. 337 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,867 Worse still, that treacherous skunk, Abe Simpson 338 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,786 stole my oxygen and tried to eat my left arm." 339 00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,080 Ew, Dad! 340 00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:29,501 "Tell my beloved wife my last thoughts were of her... 341 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,545 blinding and torturing Abe Simpson. 342 00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:33,130 Cheerio." 343 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:38,260 (groans) My dad's a disgrace, just like Bart's dad! 344 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:41,638 Me! (sobs) 345 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:52,024 This may not be the top, but it's as close as a Simpsons ever gonna get. 346 00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:53,859 This is for you, Son. 347 00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:56,862 (grunting) 348 00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:04,453 (gasping) 349 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,462 Uh-oh. Hey. 350 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,214 Wait a minute. 351 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:19,301 I'm on the top. I actually did it! 352 00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:21,678 I climbed the unclimbable mountain! 353 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:27,100 Bow down before me, everyone, for I am your king! 354 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,815 {\an8}Family to Dad. Family to Dad. Come in, Dad. (static) 355 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,901 Uh, I'm pretty sure he's dead, little girl. 356 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,987 {\an8}Here. Have a Powersauce bar. It's on the house. 357 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,281 {\an8}Hey. Something's comir down the mountain-fast! 358 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,409 Oh, no! He fell! I can't look! 359 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,037 (faint shouting) 360 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:56,922 -Hi. -Oh, Homie! You're alive! 361 00:20:57,005 --> 00:21:00,259 Oh, Marge. I never thought you'd see me again. 362 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:03,262 Where in the world did you find a sled on top of the-- 363 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,347 (screams) 364 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:08,976 {\an8}-(all gasping) -We're too late. He's dead. 365 00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:12,271 {\an8}It looks like someone tried to eat him. 366 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,232 What are you looking at me for? 367 00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:18,652 You're all crazy. Crazy as a-- 368 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:25,117 OK. Here's what I think happened. 369 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:29,955 {\an8}Did you make it to the top, Dad? Huh? Did ya? 370 00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:32,916 {\an8}Why don't you tell me, Son? 371 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,794 {\an8}See any interesting flags up there? 372 00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:38,755 All I see is a pole. Maybe the flag fell off. 373 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,841 Ah, damn it! 374 00:21:40,924 --> 00:21:43,510 {\an8}Forget about it, Homer. You made it to the top. 375 00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:45,637 You're the coolest dad ever. 376 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:49,266 Thanks, Bart. That makes it all worthwhile. 377 00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:52,394 -Is that your wallet? -D'oh! 378 00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,777 (theme music playing) 379 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,400 -(murmuring) -Shh! 380 00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:45,280 {\an8}Captioned by Visual Data Media Services