1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,339 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:12,303 (theme music playing) 3 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,019 (bell ringing) 4 00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:25,567 (whistle blowing) 5 00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,322 (beeping) 6 00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:36,911 (playing the blues) 7 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,913 (jazzy solo) 8 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,506 -(tires screech) -(clinks) 9 00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,893 (honking) 10 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,103 (tires screeching) 11 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,024 D'oh! (screams) 12 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,905 -(all grunt) -Ha-ha! 13 00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:32,675 {\an8}Hey, Bart, what's your favorite thing about teachers' conference day? 14 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,011 {\an8}Mmm, I guess that we don't have to go to school. 15 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,013 {\an8}Wow! Mine too! 16 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,183 {\an8}The world is completely different on a weekday morning. 17 00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:43,770 {\an8}Banks are open. Old people are walking the streets with impunity. 18 00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:46,397 {\an8}And look! Barney's not even drunk yet. 19 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,025 {\an8}Morning, boys. Can't stop to chat. 20 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,276 {\an8}Time is money. 21 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,320 HOMER: Morning, Barney. 22 00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:54,864 {\an8}You know what makes it even sweeter? 23 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,617 {\an8}While we're out havin' fun and walkin' around like crazy, 24 00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:01,871 {\an8}those teachers are cooped up in school like morons! (laughing) 25 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,457 Mmm, here we go again. 26 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,501 (all laughing, whooping) 27 00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:07,627 Skinner! 28 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:14,425 {\an8}Ah. No day would be completely wasted without a visit 29 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,927 to the old joke shop. 30 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,806 -(buzzing) -(gasping) 31 00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:22,058 (chuckles) Rookie mistake, Milhouse. 32 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:23,643 (groans) 33 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,736 Check it out, Bart. X-ray specs! 34 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,574 Hey, these don't work. 35 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,451 Uh-oh, a lead shirt. 36 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,538 {\an8}I'll take three pairs. Here's my prescription. 37 00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:45,248 {\an8}BART: Hmm. 38 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,005 {\an8}You wanna not play with that. Just got it charged. 39 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:53,298 {\an8}Maybe you can help me. 40 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,717 {\an8}I don't think my face is as hilarious as it could be. 41 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,720 {\an8}What can you show me in a nose or forehead accessory? 42 00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:00,263 {\an8}(bell jingling) 43 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,141 {\an8}Whoa! Lookin' sharp! 44 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:06,394 {\an8}(in squeaky voice) Well, thanks, guv'nor. Oh! 45 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,231 {\an8}If you put dog doo on the suction cups, they'll stick better. 46 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,442 {\an8}Milhouse, I'm not gonna take dog doo 47 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:15,195 {\an8}that's been on the dirty ground and put it on my face. 48 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,362 {\an8}I have a better idea. 49 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,698 (bird squawking) 50 00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:23,036 -(both grunting) -(snoring) 51 00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,830 -Hey, Dad, wake up! -Huh? What? (muttering) 52 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:28,374 I'm awake! I'm awake! I'm a productive member of the team. 53 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,001 You can't fire me! I quit! 54 00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:33,755 -Please! I have a family. -Relax, Dad, it's just me. 55 00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,798 {\an8}I was wondering if you had any industrial-strength adhesive 56 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,342 {\an8}I could use on my face. 57 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:40,053 Well, let's see what we got in the old drawer. 58 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,680 (humming) 59 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,432 Eh. Eh. 60 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:49,103 Aha! There's some glue. (straining) 61 00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,193 Hope this stuff holds. 62 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,489 LISA: This exhibit is a once-in-a-lifetime event. 63 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:00,490 {\an8}It's the first time 64 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,867 {\an8}these Egyptian artifacts have been allowed out of England. 65 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:05,912 Just let me put some film in the camera, and then we'll hop in the car. 66 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:09,958 You can get a picture of your mommy with a mummy. (giggling) 67 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:14,545 Whoops! There goes Carlsbad Caverns. Oh, well. 68 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:17,048 Oh, I can't wait! In just 20 minutes, 69 00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:20,510 we'll be in a three-hour line to see the Orb of Isis. 70 00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:23,179 Ta-da! Notice anything new? 71 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:27,100 Bart, what have I told you about throwing money away at that joke shop? 72 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:31,646 -To try and cut back a little? -(groans) Take those silly things off. 73 00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:34,357 (grunting) 74 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,902 -It won't come off. -(grunting) 75 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,782 (groaning) 76 00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:46,160 Ow! Ow! Ow! 77 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:49,622 -Bart, did you glue those on? -Oh, don't be ridiculous. 78 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:56,254 MARGE: "In case of accidental ingestion, consult a mortician." 79 00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:58,256 Oh, my goodness! 80 00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:01,175 Mom, I didn't eat any of it. I'm not stupid. 81 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,428 We've gotta get you to a doctor right away. 82 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,097 Ow! Ow! Ow, ow, ow! 83 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,851 Wait! You promised to take me to the museum! 84 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:13,354 I know, honey, but this is a very unusual situation. 85 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,898 At least, it would be for most families. 86 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,609 -What if I took a bus? -A bus? 87 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,195 Alone? Absolutely not. 88 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,573 It's just too dangerous for an eight-year-old. 89 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,950 In a few years when you're old enough to drive, 90 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,702 then you can take a bus. 91 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,831 But it's the last day of the Isis exhibit! 92 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:35,418 Well, you should've thought of that before I glued all this stuff to my face. 93 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,544 Na! 94 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,675 -(snoring) -(phone ringing) 95 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:46,220 (muttering) Y'ello? 96 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,264 {\an8}-Dad? -Who is this? 97 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:51,100 {\an8}It's Lisa. I just called to tell you how much I love you. 98 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,103 -And can I take the bus to the museum? -Museum? 99 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:57,732 {\an8}Mmm, I don't like the sound of that. What did your mother say? 100 00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:00,818 Um, I wasn't 100% clear on that. 101 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,403 {\an8}She said something, 102 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:05,198 {\an8}but she was kind of in a rush to get Bart to the emergency room. 103 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,326 {\an8}Hmm. So you wanna take the bus, huh? 104 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:11,162 {\an8}I don't know. That's a pretty big decision. 105 00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:15,041 {\an8}Well, if it would put your mind at ease, I could take a limousine. 106 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,960 Although, that would cost $200. 107 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:21,714 $200? Oh! Isn't there any other way? 108 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:25,718 {\an8}Hmm. I guess I could take the bus if you think that's a better idea. 109 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,428 {\an8}Frankly, I do. 110 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,722 {\an8}I know you had your heart set on a limo, 111 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,558 {\an8}but sometimes daddies have to say no, honey. 112 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,936 I'm afraid you're gonna have to take the bus. 113 00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:37,063 (sighs) All right. 114 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:39,899 -HOMER: Attagirl. I love you-- -Yes! 115 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,405 Ah, the old number 22. 116 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,990 Clean, reliable public transportation. 117 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,534 {\an8}The chariot of the people. 118 00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:52,495 {\an8}The ride of choice for the poor and very poor alike. 119 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,957 {\an8}-Sure, some folks prefer-- -Are you getting on this next bus, kid? 120 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,459 -Yes. -(whistles) Taxi! 121 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:02,755 {\an8}-V.D. clinic. -(gasps) Look! 122 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,633 It's the bus! The bus! Come on! You're gonna miss the bus! 123 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,260 (brakes squeal softly) 124 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:09,595 (chattering, shouting) 125 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,597 That's one small step-- Whoa! 126 00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,394 Hi, Larry. 127 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,274 I'm sorry. It's just that on the school bus-- 128 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,613 May I sit there? 129 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,615 Of course not, honey. 130 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,534 That seat's for my coin purse. 131 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,455 May I have that seat? 132 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:39,417 Yes, if you can answer me these questions three. 133 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:42,044 -Question the first-- -Never mind. 134 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,465 DRIVER(on speaker): Sycamore Avenue. 135 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,509 Little Newark. Little Newark. 136 00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:53,181 - Crackton. Crackton is the stop. -(siren wailing) 137 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,893 LISA: Crackton? That doesn't sound right. 138 00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,438 DRIVER: Industrial Access Road. 139 00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:05,234 Airport Refueling Way. 140 00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:09,655 Rural Route 9. 141 00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,449 Army Proving Ground. 142 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:15,161 Um, excuse me, sir? When does this bus get to the museum? 143 00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:18,873 -It doesn't. -Oh. But isn't this the 22? 144 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:20,958 Yeah, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. 145 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,294 Tuesday, Thursday, it's the 22-A. 146 00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:25,630 22-A? Then where the heck am I? 147 00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,757 DRIVER: Don't make me tap the sign. 148 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,842 But I'm lost and I need to know where-- 149 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:34,889 Last stop. End of the line. 150 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,646 LISA (sighs): I should've got off in Crackton. 151 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,778 OK, the museum's gotta be north of here. 152 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,072 -Now, which way is north? -(birds squawking) 153 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:55,910 Aha! It's springtime, so the geese must be flying back north! 154 00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:58,913 Hey! 155 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,498 (squawking aggressively) 156 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:13,219 See, Bart? There's another boy who played with glue. 157 00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:16,430 Actually, it was a plumbing explosion. 158 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,932 Ugh! 159 00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:20,893 That's the kind of faucet I want for your bathroom. 160 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:24,897 (sighs) How could I confuse bus 22 with 22-A? 161 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,817 Area 51? (chuckles) 162 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,860 I found Area 51! 163 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,904 No, ma'am. This is Area 51-A. 164 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:35,283 {\an8}(grunts) Well, um, I'm kind of lost. 165 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:36,951 Can you tell me where I am? 166 00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:39,787 I'm sorry. The location of this location is classified. 167 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,750 (groans) 168 00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:50,881 Stupid bus! It can't even go 169 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,509 to the stupid place it's supposed to stupid go! 170 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,761 {\an8}(groans) 171 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,681 I seen it first! Ooh! 172 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:02,602 Girlie Sue's gonna have a elegant weddin' feast. 173 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,478 Uh-huh. (forced chuckle) 174 00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:07,607 Uh, listen, I'm kind of lost. 175 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,900 Do you think you could give me a lift downtown? 176 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,111 Cletus, what are you beatin' your gums about? 177 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:14,530 Never you mind, Brandine. 178 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,617 You just go back to birthin' that baby. 179 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,161 Yeah, I'll fetch ya a ride, little missy. 180 00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:24,123 -Hop on in. Mind the skunk. -(insects buzzing) 181 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:28,044 Them things can go off even after they's dead. 182 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,712 (gags) 183 00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,589 (baby crying) 184 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,718 Hmm. 185 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,680 Young man, there's nothing funny about novelties. 186 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,808 (chuckles) I mean, they're humorous and all, 187 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:46,145 but, uh, this is certainly no laughing matter. 188 00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:48,397 -(chuckling) -(Marge groans) 189 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,651 -Can you help him, Doctor? -Oh, my, yes. 190 00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:56,572 Why, if I had $75 for every novelty I've removed-- 191 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,949 Oh, by the way, I'll need a check for $75. 192 00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:03,412 Yes, I think a series of painful injections 193 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:07,458 directly into Bart's spine should get the job done. 194 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:08,626 (gasps) 195 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,465 (whimpering) 196 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,302 -Hmm? -MARGE: What happened? 197 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,179 You didn't do anything. 198 00:11:20,262 --> 00:11:23,265 Oh, didn't I? (chuckling) 199 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,018 Nothing dissolves glue better than human sweat. 200 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,479 I knew Bart would panic and start perspiring 201 00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:30,314 at the sight of this button applicator. 202 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,443 Couldn't you have just turned up the heat a little? 203 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,905 Oh, heavens, no! It had to be terror sweat. 204 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:42,118 -(eating loudly) -LENNY: Oh, yeah. This is good. 205 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,787 (indistinct muttering) 206 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,709 So, uh, ain't you guys gonna ask me about my hat? 207 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,377 -Ah! -Ah! 208 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,796 Hey, Carl, what's with the hat? 209 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,841 Oh, what, this thing? I got it down at the museum. 210 00:11:56,924 --> 00:12:00,094 It's what the ancient Egyptians call a souvenir. 211 00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,847 My daughter's at that Egyptian dealie right now. 212 00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:06,225 (laughs) She wanted to take a limo. 213 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:07,893 But I made her take the bus. 214 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,604 You sent your little girl downtown on a bus? 215 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:11,564 Alone? 216 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:16,485 Maybe. But you don't know Lisa. I mean, she's so smart 217 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,613 they hooked her up to a big computer to try to teach it some things. 218 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:22,366 But she had so much knowledge, it overloaded. 219 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,744 And then it got really hot and caught on fire! 220 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,831 That never, uh, happened, did it, Homer? 221 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,083 Uh, yes. 222 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,211 But now I have to leave on a totally unrelated matter. 223 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,507 Oh, Lisa! 224 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:42,428 (groans) I didn't know Springfield had a Russian district. 225 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:45,473 Excuse me. Can you tell me how to get to the museum? 226 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:50,227 {\an8}(shouting in foreign language) 227 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,270 {\an8}(screams) 228 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,356 {\an8}(continues in foreign language) 229 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,483 {\an8}Hmm. 230 00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:00,946 {\an8}(continues in foreign language) 231 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,157 (hen clucking) 232 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:08,078 {\an8}-(gasps) -(maniacal laughter) 233 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,580 -Khlav Khalash! -Oh! 234 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,625 (grunting) Hmm? 235 00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:16,629 -No, thanks. -(wailing) 236 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,301 (panting) Oh, that's it. I give up. 237 00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,180 (line ringing) 238 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,516 HOMER: You have reached the office of Homer Simpson. 239 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,309 If you are calling about the water bed, 240 00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:32,311 please leave a detailed message. If you need-- 241 00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,021 -MR. BURNS: Get back to work! -(Homer gasps) 242 00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:35,022 (line disconnects) 243 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,943 -You buy it! You buy it! -(yelling) 244 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,487 (tires screeching) 245 00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:45,241 Lisa! Lisa! 246 00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:49,578 Lisa! 247 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,122 (panting) Oh, where is she? 248 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,628 -(horns honking) -(tires screeching) 249 00:13:57,711 --> 00:14:00,506 Has anyone seen my little girl? 250 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,469 Oh, for God's sakes, my little girl is-- (gasps) 251 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:06,512 {\an8}(shrieks) Hello. 252 00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:09,014 {\an8}Homer, what's going on? Shouldn't you be at work? 253 00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:12,059 -I am at work. This is what I do. -But-- 254 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:13,978 {\an8}Keep it moving, Marge! This isn't a parking lot! 255 00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,020 {\an8}I'm sorry. 256 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,439 Whew! 257 00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:19,066 (screams) 258 00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:22,403 -Shouldn't you be at work right now? -Uh, yes, sir, Mr. Burns, sir. 259 00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:25,197 Well, then get back to wherever it is you work, whoever you are. 260 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:30,578 Excuse me, ma'am. Have you seen this little girl? 261 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,372 Uh, I'd love to help you, pal, but I'm on a stakeout here. 262 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,748 Yoink! Ha-ha! 263 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:38,961 Oh-Oh, great! Somebody stop that awful, awful man! 264 00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:40,921 Oh. 265 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:43,132 Lisa! Lisa! 266 00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:46,635 {\an8}D'oh! This is no good. I've gotta get up higher. 267 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,888 Give me all your balloons. 268 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,348 I hope this works. 269 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,435 These are for you if you let me use your cherry picker. 270 00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:58,188 Well, I've already got some balloons, but they're not this nice. 271 00:14:58,272 --> 00:14:59,481 Deal! 272 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,330 Excuse me, ma'am? Uh, hello? 273 00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,249 Somebody? Anybody? 274 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,585 -Oh! -Lisa? 275 00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:21,962 Lisa? (gasps) 276 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,089 -Lisa! -Dad! 277 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:27,009 Stay there! I'll come down and save you! 278 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,180 What's wrong with this thing? (gasping) 279 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,016 (yelling) 280 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,397 Lisa! 281 00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:43,025 Save me! 282 00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:46,904 (yelling) 283 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,615 Hang on, Dad! 284 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,617 (groaning) 285 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,873 D'oh! Ow! 286 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,875 (yelling) 287 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:03,712 -Ow! -Look out! 288 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,383 Oh, no. I'm gonna go off the end of the-- 289 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,678 D'oh! (indistinct shouting) 290 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:17,726 I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, 291 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,104 please save me, Superman. 292 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:22,606 (horn blowing) 293 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:29,196 -Hurry! Hurry! Lower the bridge! -You're the boss. 294 00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:34,827 LISA: Dad, grab onto it! 295 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,912 (whimpering) 296 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,334 (gasping) D'oh! 297 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:46,463 Ow! Oh, Lisa, thank God you're OK. 298 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:50,009 D'oh! Ow! D'oh! Ow! 299 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:53,178 -You said to crush him, right? -No! 300 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,056 Are you sure you don't wanna go to a doctor? 301 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,767 {\an8}I mean, a drawbridge did close on your head. 302 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,102 Nah, I'll just walk it off. 303 00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:07,359 I should have known I wasn't old enough to take the bus alone, 304 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,653 but I really wanted to see that exhibit. 305 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,948 I'll never take another stupid risk like that again. 306 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,867 (tires screeching) 307 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,953 -Don't ever say that! -What? 308 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,831 If I hadn't have taken a stupid risk with that cherry picker, 309 00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,624 I never would've found you. 310 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,584 I guess. 311 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:26,420 Stupid risks are what make life worth living. 312 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,672 Now, your mother, she's the steady type, 313 00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:31,008 and that's fine in small doses. 314 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,761 But me, I'm a risk taker. 315 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:36,013 That's why I have so many adventures. 316 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,724 (gasps) Dad, you're headed for the river again! 317 00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,435 -Dad! -HOMER: (chuckling) 318 00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:43,353 Feel your heart pumping a mile a minute? 319 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:46,023 That's what my heart's doing all the time. 320 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,734 Bet your left arm's tingling too, huh? 321 00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,569 Dad, are you all right? 322 00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,863 I'm enjoying my life too much to care, 323 00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:54,156 and you should be too. 324 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:57,951 So what would you like to do right now more than anything in the world? 325 00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:01,705 {\an8}See the Isis exhibit! But the museum's closed. 326 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,832 Hmm. Closed, eh? 327 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:07,419 {\an8}So getting in would be a pretty big risk. 328 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:11,131 {\an8}What do you say, honey? Feelin' stupid? I know I am! 329 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,549 (tires squealing) 330 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:20,432 Lisa, we're home! Sorry about the museum! 331 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:24,478 (groans) You'd better go up and apologize. 332 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:27,773 -But my apologies always sound so forced. -Do it! 333 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:35,823 Hey, Lise, I'm sorry I ruined your Egyptian thing. 334 00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:37,866 We're still buds, right? 335 00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,496 OK, be that way! Be a big, stupid jerk! 336 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:47,209 Oh! You're not the jerk. I am. 337 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,252 Forgive me? 338 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,089 Oh, like you're Miss Perfect! 339 00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:55,175 Mom, Lisa's making me feel bad! 340 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:58,762 -MARGE: Stop it, Lisa! -That shut her up. 341 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:10,816 HOMER: OK, just a little higher. 342 00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:13,443 (both grunting softly) 343 00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,070 Mmm. 344 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,702 Dad, I'm kind of scared. 345 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:24,496 Good. You're gonna need that adrenaline to make the final jump. 346 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:25,873 (grunts) 347 00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:30,002 OK. Here goes. (grunting) 348 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,172 Could you open the window? 349 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,340 The cops have Daddy's prints on file. 350 00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:45,976 Wow! It's magnificent! 351 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,397 Now I know how Sir Dudley Winthrop felt 352 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,901 {\an8}when he first fell through the ceiling and discovered the Temple of Isis. 353 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:57,696 {\an8}Have you ever seen such exquisite ushabtis? 354 00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,490 Uh, not this exquisite. 355 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:02,534 (gasps) 356 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:06,788 {\an8}Oh, my gosh! It's the mysterious Orb of Isis. 357 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,750 Archaeologists have been studying it for decades 358 00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:12,169 and still have no clue what it means. 359 00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,504 Well, Daddy will figure it out. 360 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,674 Oh! We can't touch it, Dad. 361 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,801 It's behind a velvet rope. 362 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,095 A velvet rope. 363 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:26,350 Lisa, you can't go this far and then not go further. 364 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,311 (grunting, whimpering) 365 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,729 No! 366 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:34,733 Dad! 367 00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:39,780 -(gasping) -Uh-oh. 368 00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,115 You broke it! 369 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:45,786 (chiming) 370 00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:51,750 It's a music box. 371 00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:55,087 {\an8}Dad, we uncovered the secret! 372 00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:58,090 Oh! So now it's "we," eh? 373 00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,550 It's so beautiful. 374 00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,512 And just think, we are the first people to hear its song 375 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,639 in more than 4,000 years. 376 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:10,602 Thanks for making me take such a stupid risk, Dad. 377 00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:13,188 Anytime, honey. Just remember, 378 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,066 never be afraid to live life on the edge. 379 00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:18,652 Now, let's get home before your mother kills us. 380 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:21,280 (music stops) 381 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:23,490 It's kind of humbling, isn't it? 382 00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:27,286 The music we just heard might never be heard again. 383 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:29,830 Yeah. But it'll always live on 384 00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:32,207 because we'll never forget it. 385 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,209 (whistling) 386 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,672 -Dad, that's the Old Spice song. -HOMER: It is? 387 00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:42,092 Well, that's a good song too. (humming) 388 00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:44,511 (both humming) 389 00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,390 -(humming stops) -(alarm blaring) 390 00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:50,392 -HOMER: Run! -(dogs barking) 391 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:52,394 (Lisa screaming) 392 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:53,812 (music box playing) 393 00:21:58,066 --> 00:21:59,901 (theme music playing) 394 00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:39,649 Shh! 395 00:22:43,111 --> 00:22:45,655 {\an8}Captioned by Visual Data Media Services