1
00:00:01,985 --> 00:00:03,875
Let's see, what else?

2
00:00:03,876 --> 00:00:07,785
Okay. Here's one of the first things
your uncle Charlie wrote.

3
00:00:07,786 --> 00:00:11,404
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

4
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,041
What do you think?

5
00:00:18,041 --> 00:00:20,683
Must have been before my time.

6
00:00:23,105 --> 00:00:25,507
Okay, we're done here.

7
00:00:26,373 --> 00:00:30,314
Don't put your juice box on the piano,
it leaves a ring.

8
00:00:30,315 --> 00:00:32,928
How could a box leave a ring?

9
00:00:33,746 --> 00:00:35,186
Got to run to the grocery store.

10
00:00:35,187 --> 00:00:37,334
I'm gonna need somebody
to fold these clothes.

11
00:00:37,335 --> 00:00:38,872
I don't know if the grocery store

12
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:41,693
is the first place I'd go for that,
but good luck.

13
00:00:41,694 --> 00:00:45,378
Remember, you're being punished.
So, no TV, no computer, no GameBoy.

14
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,045
I need you to be my eyes and ears.

15
00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:51,262
Okay, but you have to be
my liver and prostate.

16
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:54,319
Whoa, whose is this?

17
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:57,717
Charlie, you want to field that one?

18
00:00:57,718 --> 00:01:01,594
No problem. Jake, sometimes when you
have a casual sexual relationship...

19
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,997
All right!

20
00:01:04,961 --> 00:01:09,792
Jake, we take in strangers' laundry
because we're poor.

21
00:01:09,864 --> 00:01:14,051
I'll be back in an hour.
Start folding. No TV.

22
00:01:16,819 --> 00:01:18,229
What'd you get busted for?

23
00:01:18,230 --> 00:01:19,862
I painted my room at Mom's house.

24
00:01:19,863 --> 00:01:23,772
-What's wrong with that?
-I'm 10 years old.

25
00:01:25,984 --> 00:01:29,284
-How about a little sock golf?
-What's that?

26
00:01:29,285 --> 00:01:31,175
Okay, here's how it works.

27
00:01:31,176 --> 00:01:34,452
The living room is a dogleg par four.

28
00:01:34,926 --> 00:01:37,970
That means you have to get your sock
into the kitchen sink

29
00:01:37,971 --> 00:01:40,309
-in four strokes or less.
-Okay.

30
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:43,201
We'll play for a quarter a hole.

31
00:01:43,419 --> 00:01:44,732
Your handicap's obvious.

32
00:01:44,733 --> 00:01:47,809
You're short, and you've never
heard of the Ninja Turtles.

33
00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:50,180
All right, keep your knees bent.

34
00:01:50,181 --> 00:01:53,053
Your arm straight and swing easy.

35
00:01:57,103 --> 00:01:59,282
Oh, man, I'm being hustled.

36
00:01:59,283 --> 00:02:03,320
-We can play for less if you want.
-Don't get cocky.

37
00:02:03,321 --> 00:02:05,721
There's 17 more holes.

38
00:02:13,576 --> 00:02:16,396
The 18th hole, all square.

39
00:02:16,974 --> 00:02:20,594
The defending champion looks
to have an easy tap-in for a birdie

40
00:02:20,595 --> 00:02:24,472
as the gallery waits breathlessly
for the rookie to respond.

41
00:02:24,473 --> 00:02:27,066
Would you please stop talking?

42
00:02:28,352 --> 00:02:31,530
Tempers flare as the pressure mounts.

43
00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:38,285
-Yeah.
-It's unbelievable.

44
00:02:38,286 --> 00:02:39,823
An eagle on the 18th.

45
00:02:39,824 --> 00:02:42,707
This has never happened before
in the history of sock golf!

46
00:02:42,708 --> 00:02:44,054
A little help here?

47
00:02:44,055 --> 00:02:47,002
Fans are coming out of the gallery
with sacks of groceries

48
00:02:47,003 --> 00:02:49,406
-for the young phenom.
-What's going on?

49
00:02:49,407 --> 00:02:51,200
I won. I beat Uncle Charlie.

50
00:02:51,201 --> 00:02:53,765
Excuse me, didn't I ask you
to fold the laundry?

51
00:02:53,766 --> 00:02:56,233
Laundry? Are you barking mad?

52
00:02:56,234 --> 00:02:59,661
The child just won the coveted
Palmolive Cup.

53
00:02:59,662 --> 00:03:02,897
I won. You lose.

54
00:03:03,733 --> 00:03:06,039
When I ask Jake to do something,

55
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,930
I need you to help me
make sure he does it.

56
00:03:07,931 --> 00:03:10,397
I'm trying to teach him responsibility.

57
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,321
This sock is soaking wet.

58
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:16,807
Yeah, I chipped into the water hazard
on the ninth and the lid was open.

59
00:03:16,808 --> 00:03:20,113
-So, this is toilet water?
-At least.

60
00:03:27,128 --> 00:03:29,979
All right.
I put Jake to bed, I folded the laundry,

61
00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:31,453
I put the groceries away...

62
00:03:31,454 --> 00:03:33,825
The guilt thing doesn't work on me, Alan.

63
00:03:33,826 --> 00:03:37,190
Yeah, well, it's all I got.
I'll be back in a little while.

64
00:03:37,191 --> 00:03:40,395
-Where you going?
-I have to bring the garbage cans back in.

65
00:03:40,396 --> 00:03:42,029
Today wasn't garbage day.

66
00:03:42,030 --> 00:03:45,738
-No, not here. At Judith's.
-At Judith's?

67
00:03:46,164 --> 00:03:48,568
Alan, your wife threw you out.

68
00:03:48,569 --> 00:03:50,875
Yeah, that doesn't mean
she doesn't need me.

69
00:03:50,876 --> 00:03:53,277
Yeah, it kind of does.

70
00:03:54,081 --> 00:03:57,861
Look, we're still married,
it's still my house,

71
00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:00,105
and she still counts on me
to do a few chores.

72
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:04,047
It's good. It leaves the door open for,
you know, reconciliation.

73
00:04:04,048 --> 00:04:05,553
I see.

74
00:04:05,554 --> 00:04:10,434
So, how do you lift those garbage cans
without a spine?

75
00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:16,608
They're on wheels.

76
00:04:24,558 --> 00:04:26,960
What are you watching?

77
00:04:27,219 --> 00:04:28,821
I'm watching a movie,

78
00:04:28,822 --> 00:04:31,224
and you're not supposed
to be watching anything.

79
00:04:31,225 --> 00:04:32,859
Oh, yeah.

80
00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:36,737
-ls that guy a good guy or a bad guy?
-Good guy.

81
00:04:36,738 --> 00:04:39,075
And you're not supposed
to be watching TV.

82
00:04:39,076 --> 00:04:41,478
I know.

83
00:04:44,108 --> 00:04:47,152
-ls that his girlfriend?
-Ex-girlfriend.

84
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:48,883
But he still loves her, right?

85
00:04:48,884 --> 00:04:52,601
I'm not going to walk you
through the whole movie.

86
00:04:52,602 --> 00:04:55,002
I think so.

87
00:04:55,005 --> 00:04:57,497
-Go to bed, Jake.
-Okay.

88
00:05:01,254 --> 00:05:02,407
Who's that guy?

89
00:05:02,408 --> 00:05:04,137
That's the guy he was in jail with

90
00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:05,997
and told him
where the money was hidden.

91
00:05:05,998 --> 00:05:08,144
Right.

92
00:05:08,145 --> 00:05:11,651
-You're being punished. No TV.
-I know.

93
00:05:20,131 --> 00:05:22,532
What the hell is going on?

94
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:26,026
-Jake?
-Goodnight.

95
00:05:29,489 --> 00:05:31,059
Hey, I'm watching that.

96
00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:33,270
What part of "no TV"
didn't you understand?

97
00:05:33,271 --> 00:05:35,321
I'm allowed to watch TV.

98
00:05:35,322 --> 00:05:36,604
I mean Jake.

99
00:05:36,605 --> 00:05:40,000
I said, "No TV." He said, "Okay."
I said, "Go to bed." He said, "Okay."

100
00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:42,724
-What'd you want from me?
-He's taking advantage of you

101
00:05:42,725 --> 00:05:44,391
because he knows
you won't follow through.

102
00:05:44,392 --> 00:05:47,372
He obviously knows me
better than you do.

103
00:05:47,373 --> 00:05:50,256
If this is gonna work out
with Jake living here part-time,

104
00:05:50,257 --> 00:05:52,884
you have to be an adult.
You have to impose discipline.

105
00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:55,063
Yeah, fine, whatever.
Give me back the remote.

106
00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:57,563
No. You're not listening to me.
You need to be firm.

107
00:05:57,564 --> 00:05:59,870
Okay.

108
00:05:59,871 --> 00:06:02,851
-Go to your room.
-Yes, like that.

109
00:06:02,852 --> 00:06:05,831
I mean it. Give me the remote
and go to your room.

110
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,786
That's very funny.

111
00:06:07,786 --> 00:06:12,685
I'm serious. Get out of here,
or I will kick your ass.

112
00:06:19,261 --> 00:06:21,662
Oh, man.

113
00:06:34,676 --> 00:06:37,077
Shoo.

114
00:06:47,976 --> 00:06:50,377
Jake.

115
00:06:51,052 --> 00:06:53,454
It was on when I came in.

116
00:06:55,828 --> 00:06:57,398
Yeah, right.

117
00:06:57,399 --> 00:07:00,378
What did I tell you about leaving
juice boxes on my piano?

118
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:02,780
How do you know it's mine?

119
00:07:03,745 --> 00:07:09,267
Come on, who else around here drinks
"Transylvania Goofy Juice"?

120
00:07:09,289 --> 00:07:11,690
Good point.

121
00:07:12,045 --> 00:07:15,281
And another thing. Were you on the deck
feeding the seagulls again?

122
00:07:15,281 --> 00:07:17,683
Sorry, I forgot.

123
00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:20,820
Okay. We need to talk.

124
00:07:22,332 --> 00:07:24,733
Love you, Uncle Charlie.

125
00:07:25,056 --> 00:07:28,196
Look, we don't feed the seagulls
because you can't get rid of them.

126
00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:30,055
We don't leave
the doors and windows open,

127
00:07:30,056 --> 00:07:32,876
because we get all kinds of bugs
and crap flying in the house.

128
00:07:32,877 --> 00:07:35,246
-Okay.
-No. Don't just say "okay."

129
00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:37,714
This is not the grownup
telling the kid what to do.

130
00:07:37,715 --> 00:07:40,246
This is just two guys agreeing
how to live together.

131
00:07:40,247 --> 00:07:42,648
-Are we cool?
-Yeah. Cool.

132
00:07:44,413 --> 00:07:46,496
-What's going on?
-Nothing.

133
00:07:46,497 --> 00:07:48,898
-Was he watching TV?
-No.

134
00:07:50,951 --> 00:07:53,418
Jake, I have to run a quick errand.

135
00:07:53,419 --> 00:07:56,783
Why don't you wash and dress?
When I get back, we'll do something fun.

136
00:07:56,784 --> 00:07:59,185
-Can we watch TV?
-Go.

137
00:08:01,559 --> 00:08:03,866
Where are you off to?

138
00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:06,268
The grocery store.

139
00:08:11,013 --> 00:08:14,922
-You're going to Judith's, aren't you?
-No.

140
00:08:16,302 --> 00:08:18,703
Then where are you going?

141
00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:21,235
Judith's.

142
00:08:21,462 --> 00:08:23,095
-Alan.
-I have to.

143
00:08:23,096 --> 00:08:26,396
The timer on the sprinkler system
is broken,

144
00:08:26,397 --> 00:08:30,946
and the flower beds are getting flooded,
and I love her and I want her back.

145
00:08:30,947 --> 00:08:33,255
Buddy, I feel for you.

146
00:08:33,256 --> 00:08:37,558
-Thank you.
-Unfortunately, the feeling is nausea.

147
00:08:38,383 --> 00:08:40,466
Great. I'll see you later.

148
00:08:40,467 --> 00:08:43,285
Alan, you've been making
the same mistake your whole life.

149
00:08:43,286 --> 00:08:46,747
Being the good boy, fixing everything
so everybody would love you.

150
00:08:46,747 --> 00:08:48,092
It didn't work with Mom.

151
00:08:48,093 --> 00:08:51,554
It didn't work with either of the women
you went out with.

152
00:08:51,555 --> 00:08:53,381
And it's not gonna work with your wife.

153
00:08:53,382 --> 00:08:58,668
You know nothing about commitment
and responsibility to a relationship.

154
00:08:58,669 --> 00:09:01,425
Granted. But I do know
when a woman's using me.

155
00:09:01,426 --> 00:09:04,150
And by that I mean not in a fun way.

156
00:09:04,151 --> 00:09:08,799
Well, you can rest easy,
because no one is using me.

157
00:09:09,919 --> 00:09:14,084
And did you mean that I only dated
two women including Judith?

158
00:09:14,085 --> 00:09:18,148
Because if you did,
I have two words for you.

159
00:09:18,507 --> 00:09:20,909
Maxine Chernakoff.

160
00:09:33,154 --> 00:09:36,323
-Did you fix it?
-Not quite.

161
00:09:36,391 --> 00:09:38,409
It doesn't seem like
you're changing anything.

162
00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:44,050
No? Well, sometimes change happens,
Judith, and you can't see it.

163
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,133
Okay. Fine. When you're done fixing this,

164
00:09:46,134 --> 00:09:48,632
would you come and take a look
at the garbage disposal?

165
00:09:48,633 --> 00:09:51,035
-Sure.
-Thank you.

166
00:09:51,518 --> 00:09:53,919
Wait, no.

167
00:09:54,788 --> 00:09:56,485
What?

168
00:09:56,486 --> 00:09:59,882
No, I won't come inside
and look at the garbage disposal.

169
00:09:59,883 --> 00:10:02,284
Why not?

170
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:07,540
I know when I'm being used, Judith,
and not in a fun way.

171
00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:09,016
What are you talking about?

172
00:10:09,017 --> 00:10:11,644
Who are we kidding? The marriage is over.

173
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:14,977
You're just afraid to move on,
so, you keep dragging me over here,

174
00:10:14,978 --> 00:10:19,012
and I'm afraid to move on,
so I keep coming.

175
00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:22,887
Goodbye, Judith. You're free.

176
00:10:23,695 --> 00:10:28,190
I hope you find
whatever it is you're looking for.

177
00:10:40,809 --> 00:10:44,045
-What you got there?
-Just a little bread.

178
00:10:44,045 --> 00:10:48,724
Please tell me you're not feeding
the seagulls again.

179
00:10:49,109 --> 00:10:51,511
Okay.

180
00:10:51,994 --> 00:10:55,839
Man, did you let another one of those
big flappy bastards in the house?

181
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,915
You have to put $1 in the swear jar,
you said "bastards."

182
00:10:58,916 --> 00:11:01,317
Smart, poke the bear.

183
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:05,508
I'm telling you, Jake, this is the last...

184
00:11:08,082 --> 00:11:10,483
Yikes!

185
00:11:14,139 --> 00:11:15,901
I'm really sorry, Uncle Charlie.

186
00:11:15,902 --> 00:11:17,888
I don't want to talk to you right now.

187
00:11:17,889 --> 00:11:23,815
Hello, do you have a department
of animal control or bird abatement?

188
00:11:23,818 --> 00:11:26,219
I have a seagull problem.

189
00:11:26,446 --> 00:11:28,847
Seagull.

190
00:11:29,234 --> 00:11:30,771
Thank you, I'll hold.

191
00:11:30,772 --> 00:11:32,855
I didn't know there'd be so many.

192
00:11:32,856 --> 00:11:36,701
I told you, don't feed the damn things.
I told you, don't leave the windows open.

193
00:11:36,702 --> 00:11:39,103
Yeah, hi, who's this?

194
00:11:39,330 --> 00:11:41,731
Phyllis Siegal.

195
00:11:48,784 --> 00:11:53,558
No, Phyllis, I wanted to talk to somebody
about seagulls.

196
00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,827
I got a flock of seagulls in my house.

197
00:11:56,828 --> 00:11:59,872
No, I don't know
whatever happened to them.

198
00:11:59,872 --> 00:12:01,635
I'm really sorry.

199
00:12:01,636 --> 00:12:04,134
We had an agreement, Jake,
and you broke it.

200
00:12:04,135 --> 00:12:09,165
Look, I need somebody who can come over
with a net or something.

201
00:12:09,166 --> 00:12:11,057
Sure, I'll hold.

202
00:12:11,058 --> 00:12:13,459
Hello? Who's this?

203
00:12:13,686 --> 00:12:16,087
Annette.

204
00:12:17,628 --> 00:12:22,075
Look, I got a room
filled with seagulls and... No.

205
00:12:23,716 --> 00:12:25,831
Hi, Phyllis.

206
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,369
Goodbye, Phyllis.

207
00:12:27,370 --> 00:12:29,068
Good news.

208
00:12:29,069 --> 00:12:31,567
Really? Come tell me in Jake's room.

209
00:12:31,568 --> 00:12:34,451
What did he do?
He didn't paint anything, did he?

210
00:12:34,452 --> 00:12:36,863
I want you to be surprised.

211
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,855
You will never guess what happened
while I was at Judith's.

212
00:12:41,856 --> 00:12:44,257
Neither will you.

213
00:12:45,189 --> 00:12:47,143
Oh, my God!

214
00:12:47,144 --> 00:12:49,545
So, what's your good news?

215
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:51,438
Open the door!

216
00:12:51,439 --> 00:12:54,482
Your kid got them in there,
you get them out.

217
00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:57,138
Open the door!

218
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,256
That was not funny, Charlie.

219
00:13:05,924 --> 00:13:09,289
Depends on what side of the door
you were on.

220
00:13:09,290 --> 00:13:11,628
Look, I'm really sorry about the birds,

221
00:13:11,629 --> 00:13:13,871
but I'm sure they'll leave
as soon as they get hungry.

222
00:13:13,872 --> 00:13:15,795
That's what I thought about you.

223
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:19,031
You know what? Jake and I may be
out of here sooner than you think.

224
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:22,364
-What do you mean?
-At Judith's, there was kissing.

225
00:13:22,365 --> 00:13:26,563
Mutual kissing. Unprompted,
but reciprocated by yours truly.

226
00:13:26,563 --> 00:13:27,845
Wow.

227
00:13:27,846 --> 00:13:30,601
And was it as boring as it sounds?

228
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,139
Charlie, she kissed me.

229
00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:37,235
This wasn't the kiss of a woman who just
wanted her garbage disposal unclogged.

230
00:13:37,236 --> 00:13:40,023
Well, you know her plumbing
better than I do.

231
00:13:40,024 --> 00:13:43,549
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna let her come to me.

232
00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:46,047
You know, be detached,
play it cool. You know?

233
00:13:46,048 --> 00:13:48,969
Yeah. That's your home-run swing.

234
00:13:49,638 --> 00:13:52,907
Hey, Uncle Charlie,
you want to play some sock golf?

235
00:13:52,908 --> 00:13:55,182
-No, thanks.
-Where are you going?

236
00:13:55,183 --> 00:13:56,464
I'm going for a drive.

237
00:13:56,465 --> 00:13:58,866
-Can I come?
-Nope.

238
00:14:02,298 --> 00:14:05,566
I don't think
Uncle Charlie likes me anymore.

239
00:14:05,567 --> 00:14:08,546
Don't be silly.
He's just a little upset about the 30, 40

240
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:10,822
screaming, crapping birds in his house.

241
00:14:10,823 --> 00:14:13,995
Why don't you write him a note
and tell him how sorry you are?

242
00:14:13,996 --> 00:14:16,174
Okay.

243
00:14:16,175 --> 00:14:18,866
Don't worry, he'll come around.

244
00:14:18,867 --> 00:14:22,277
Sooner or later, everybody comes around.

245
00:14:22,617 --> 00:14:27,976
You just have to give them a little time
and a little space.

246
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:31,236
Hello, Judith?

247
00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:37,821
-What's in the bucket?
-Chum.

248
00:14:39,986 --> 00:14:42,388
-What?
-Bait.

249
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:45,979
I went down to the bait shop
and asked them what seagulls like to eat.

250
00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:47,837
We're keeping them?

251
00:14:47,838 --> 00:14:50,338
No. We're gonna throw the bait
out the window

252
00:14:50,339 --> 00:14:52,228
to lure the birds out of the house.

253
00:14:52,229 --> 00:14:54,440
That's pretty clever.

254
00:14:54,441 --> 00:15:00,241
Yeah, it's a variation on something I do
with women and tennis bracelets.

255
00:15:00,242 --> 00:15:03,747
Hey, Uncle Charlie, I made this for you.

256
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:09,984
Thanks.

257
00:15:09,985 --> 00:15:12,163
I made it myself.

258
00:15:12,164 --> 00:15:14,565
I see that.

259
00:15:15,145 --> 00:15:17,707
-What are you doing?
-I'm getting rid of the birds.

260
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,110
-Can I help?
-Nope.

261
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,476
Jake, why don't you go out
and play on the deck, okay?

262
00:15:23,477 --> 00:15:25,878
Okay.

263
00:15:28,445 --> 00:15:30,014
What is wrong with you?

264
00:15:30,015 --> 00:15:32,673
He worked really hard on that card.
You barely looked at it.

265
00:15:32,674 --> 00:15:35,718
-What do you want from me?
-He's dying for you to forgive him.

266
00:15:35,719 --> 00:15:38,120
Fine. I forgive him.

267
00:15:38,123 --> 00:15:43,186
Now, are you gonna help me or not?
I got a serious problem here.

268
00:15:43,187 --> 00:15:47,191
Really? Because you look like
you have it all together.

269
00:15:47,192 --> 00:15:49,594
Okay, here's the deal.

270
00:15:50,527 --> 00:15:53,665
We go in there and start throwing
this stuff out the windows.

271
00:15:53,666 --> 00:15:55,076
When the last bird's out,

272
00:15:55,077 --> 00:15:58,088
we close the window
and get on with our lives.

273
00:15:58,089 --> 00:16:00,490
You're ready?

274
00:16:00,909 --> 00:16:02,639
Sure.

275
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:09,095
You know, if they love this bait so much,
why would they even wait for...

276
00:16:19,305 --> 00:16:22,188
It's almost like somebody tipped them off.

277
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,913
-You got any other bright ideas?
-Yeah.

278
00:16:24,914 --> 00:16:28,920
I'm gonna get a drywall guy in there
and seal off that room.

279
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:31,642
-Very funny.
-I'm not kidding.

280
00:16:32,285 --> 00:16:34,686
That room is dead to me.

281
00:16:35,747 --> 00:16:38,020
Either that or sell the house.

282
00:16:38,021 --> 00:16:41,898
I'll put it on the market
as a two bedroom plus aviary.

283
00:16:41,899 --> 00:16:44,300
Everybody loves an aviary.

284
00:16:44,976 --> 00:16:46,226
What about Jake?

285
00:16:46,227 --> 00:16:49,014
Are you gonna put him on the market
or just wall him off?

286
00:16:49,015 --> 00:16:50,584
I tried with that kid, Alan.

287
00:16:50,585 --> 00:16:53,179
He says one thing,
and then he goes and does another.

288
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:56,769
He's 10. He's got the attention span
of a hummingbird.

289
00:16:56,770 --> 00:16:58,916
What am I supposed to do
when he ignores me?

290
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:02,089
You punish him. You take away
his computer, his TV, his toys.

291
00:17:02,090 --> 00:17:03,820
You already took away all the good stuff.

292
00:17:03,821 --> 00:17:06,640
What am I supposed to take away?
His bronchial inhaler?

293
00:17:06,641 --> 00:17:12,432
You know what I'm saying, Charlie.
You don't take away your love.

294
00:17:55,835 --> 00:17:58,976
Hi. I tried calling
but I kept getting your machine,

295
00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:01,636
-so I thought I'd bring this over.
-What is it?

296
00:18:01,637 --> 00:18:05,930
It's my master file of handymen, plumbers,
electricians, maintenance schedules,

297
00:18:05,931 --> 00:18:09,006
warranties, authorized repair centers,

298
00:18:09,007 --> 00:18:11,058
et cetera.

299
00:18:11,058 --> 00:18:14,327
Okay, well, you're on your own.
Got to run.

300
00:18:14,328 --> 00:18:16,729
Alan, wait.

301
00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:21,919
-Yes?
-About that kiss?

302
00:18:24,583 --> 00:18:29,165
When you said we should move on,
I got scared, and...

303
00:18:29,166 --> 00:18:31,760
Alan, I kissed you out of fear.

304
00:18:31,761 --> 00:18:34,163
Hey, it still counts.

305
00:18:34,358 --> 00:18:37,850
Alan, you were right. We have to move on.

306
00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:40,253
Okay.

307
00:18:40,607 --> 00:18:43,008
Alan, wait.

308
00:18:46,601 --> 00:18:47,753
Yes?

309
00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:50,349
The garbage disposal's still making
that horrible noise.

310
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:52,848
I keep telling you not to put bones in it.

311
00:18:52,849 --> 00:18:57,065
-I didn't.
-The sink trap does not lie, Judith.

312
00:18:57,881 --> 00:19:00,412
This is so cool, Uncle Charlie.

313
00:19:00,413 --> 00:19:04,579
Yeah, I was kind of hard on you,
and I wanted to make it up.

314
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:06,663
So, you're not still mad
about the seagulls?

315
00:19:06,663 --> 00:19:09,962
I'm still mad. I just figured out
a better way to deal with it.

316
00:19:09,963 --> 00:19:13,364
Well, I think this is a very good way.

317
00:19:14,451 --> 00:19:16,052
Me, too.

318
00:19:16,053 --> 00:19:17,431
I'm buying you all this stuff,

319
00:19:17,431 --> 00:19:20,699
but as punishment for letting seagulls
in my house,

320
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,590
you can't play with it for a month.

321
00:19:22,591 --> 00:19:24,161
A month?

322
00:19:24,162 --> 00:19:26,563
Pretty smart, huh?

323
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:28,966
It's not fair.

324
00:19:29,289 --> 00:19:31,114
You know what this is?

325
00:19:31,115 --> 00:19:33,555
The world's smallest violin.

326
00:19:36,244 --> 00:19:38,645
What are you talking about?

327
00:19:47,140 --> 00:19:49,542
They're gone, Charlie.

328
00:19:50,313 --> 00:19:53,310
Are you sure? Check under the bed.

329
00:19:56,113 --> 00:19:58,132
All clear.

330
00:19:58,133 --> 00:20:00,247
Okay.

331
00:20:00,248 --> 00:20:01,657
I wonder why they left.

332
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:04,915
Maybe because we stopped feeding them.

333
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,521
Whoa, check it out.

334
00:20:10,023 --> 00:20:11,944
Wow.

335
00:20:11,945 --> 00:20:14,861
-You know what this means, don't you?
-Yeah.

336
00:20:14,862 --> 00:20:17,263
Breakfast.