1 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,242 If you've got bugs 2 00:00:10,821 --> 00:00:13,222 If you've got ants 3 00:00:13,705 --> 00:00:19,064 If you've got bugs and flies and slugs and things that crawl 4 00:00:20,851 --> 00:00:22,036 We're here! 5 00:00:22,037 --> 00:00:24,695 -Mom, come see my room! -I'll be right there, honey! 6 00:00:24,696 --> 00:00:26,522 -Hey, Uncle Charlie. -Hi, shorty! 7 00:00:26,523 --> 00:00:27,867 Hello, Charlie. 8 00:00:27,868 --> 00:00:29,886 Hi, Judith. What're you doing here? 9 00:00:29,887 --> 00:00:32,577 If you must know, I'm here to help Jake set up his room, 10 00:00:32,578 --> 00:00:34,308 so he feels like nothing's changed. 11 00:00:34,309 --> 00:00:37,256 Really? You don't think he'll notice his dad's living here 12 00:00:37,257 --> 00:00:39,745 and his mom's dating chicks? 13 00:00:40,077 --> 00:00:43,152 Could you say that a little louder? Jake might not have heard you. 14 00:00:43,153 --> 00:00:45,170 Just for the record, I'm not dating anyone, 15 00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:49,048 and I threw your brother out 'cause he was sucking the life out of me. 16 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,900 Could you say that a little louder? 17 00:00:51,901 --> 00:00:54,143 Uncle Charlie hasn't met Porky yet! 18 00:00:54,144 --> 00:00:57,571 I don't suppose that's a Rubenesque 19-year-old girl. 19 00:00:57,572 --> 00:00:59,750 Porky's his pet guinea pig. 20 00:00:59,751 --> 00:01:02,955 You're bringing vermin into my house? 21 00:01:02,956 --> 00:01:05,614 Uncle Charlie, check him out! Isn't he awesome? 22 00:01:05,615 --> 00:01:06,832 Yeah. 23 00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:11,001 See those little black things? That's his poop. 24 00:01:11,512 --> 00:01:13,786 Awesome. 25 00:01:13,787 --> 00:01:17,406 I don't want him in the water this weekend. He might have an ear infection. 26 00:01:17,407 --> 00:01:18,624 Oh, Mom. 27 00:01:18,625 --> 00:01:21,764 No, it's okay, pal. We can go to Disneyland. 28 00:01:21,765 --> 00:01:23,270 We'll have a great weekend. 29 00:01:23,271 --> 00:01:26,763 We can play miniature golf, go bowling, bike riding, whatever you want. 30 00:01:26,764 --> 00:01:32,257 Alan, relax, you're starting to sound like a tampon commercial. 31 00:01:33,686 --> 00:01:35,896 Jake, why don't you go put Porky in your room? 32 00:01:35,897 --> 00:01:37,658 Okay. 33 00:01:37,659 --> 00:01:41,760 Alan, I'm very concerned. He's just a child. I don't know if he can deal with this. 34 00:01:41,761 --> 00:01:44,387 Give your son some credit. He's an incredible kid. 35 00:01:44,388 --> 00:01:46,789 I was talking about you. 36 00:01:48,106 --> 00:01:50,506 -That's fair. -Yeah. 37 00:02:09,991 --> 00:02:14,821 Charlie? That strange lady from down the beach is back. 38 00:02:16,432 --> 00:02:19,044 Yeah, she's here to baby-sit. 39 00:02:21,654 --> 00:02:23,801 Come again? 40 00:02:23,801 --> 00:02:25,723 I thought we'd go out and have a drink. 41 00:02:25,724 --> 00:02:29,248 You want me to leave my son with the whack job who's been stalking you 42 00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,363 since your one night stand? 43 00:02:31,364 --> 00:02:34,888 You try and find a baby-sitter on a Friday night. 44 00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:38,541 It's okay, Alan. Charlie and I talked and I understand 45 00:02:38,542 --> 00:02:41,521 that we're just friends, and that it is not okay for me 46 00:02:41,522 --> 00:02:46,122 to sneak into his house and lick all his silverware. 47 00:02:50,686 --> 00:02:54,658 As reassuring as that sounds, we can't go out tonight. 48 00:02:54,659 --> 00:02:56,806 We're getting up early to go to Disneyland. 49 00:02:56,807 --> 00:02:57,895 We? 50 00:02:57,896 --> 00:03:00,490 Yeah. I thought that maybe you'd want to come with us. 51 00:03:00,491 --> 00:03:04,015 Alan, I'm not thrilled about having one small rodent in my house. 52 00:03:04,016 --> 00:03:08,501 Why would I drive fifty miles to see their kingdom? 53 00:03:08,502 --> 00:03:10,902 I'll go! 54 00:03:11,994 --> 00:03:16,128 Maybe some other time, Rose. It turns out we're not gonna need a babysitter tonight. 55 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:20,652 No problem. I'm gonna take this seat cushion, okay? 56 00:03:21,896 --> 00:03:24,297 Knock yourself out. 57 00:03:25,037 --> 00:03:26,926 Why does she want your seat cushion? 58 00:03:26,927 --> 00:03:32,533 I don't know why she brought it, I don't know why she's taking it. 59 00:03:32,534 --> 00:03:34,136 Okay, then, I'll see you later. 60 00:03:34,137 --> 00:03:36,571 Wait, you're still going out? 61 00:03:36,572 --> 00:03:38,301 Yeah. Why? 62 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:41,185 I thought you wanted us to spend some time together. 63 00:03:41,186 --> 00:03:43,587 Here? 64 00:03:44,872 --> 00:03:47,272 Okay. 65 00:04:03,617 --> 00:04:05,346 What're you thinking? 10, 15 minutes? 66 00:04:05,347 --> 00:04:07,748 -Go. -Thanks. 67 00:04:14,704 --> 00:04:17,105 Good morning, Uncle Charlie. 68 00:04:17,331 --> 00:04:19,478 Morning, Porky. 69 00:04:19,479 --> 00:04:21,879 Did you have sweet dreams? 70 00:04:23,324 --> 00:04:26,912 Jake, rule number one. Uncle Charlie does not like 71 00:04:26,913 --> 00:04:30,019 to start his day with a squealing creature in his face. 72 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:33,416 Sorry. Grandma's here. She wants you to come down. 73 00:04:33,417 --> 00:04:35,818 Okay, you're not listening. 74 00:04:35,821 --> 00:04:38,222 Rule number one... 75 00:04:39,602 --> 00:04:42,645 This is a list of the top divorce attorneys in Los Angeles. 76 00:04:42,646 --> 00:04:44,920 I've made appointments for you with each of them. 77 00:04:44,921 --> 00:04:47,932 I don't need to meet any attorneys. I'm not getting a divorce. 78 00:04:47,933 --> 00:04:50,516 I'm sure you don't think so. 79 00:04:52,322 --> 00:04:54,661 The point is, if you consult with all 80 00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:58,923 the good lawyers, it's a conflict of interest for them to represent Judith. 81 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,903 She'll be stuck with some ambulance- chasing clown from Van Nuys 82 00:05:01,904 --> 00:05:04,659 who will fold like an origami swan. 83 00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:06,133 I don't want this to be... 84 00:05:06,134 --> 00:05:09,284 Mommy busted her hump on this, Alan. 85 00:05:11,517 --> 00:05:13,917 Thank you? 86 00:05:14,208 --> 00:05:16,609 Morning. 87 00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:21,289 Is that all you have to say for yourself? 88 00:05:21,290 --> 00:05:23,660 You haven't returned any of my calls this week. 89 00:05:23,661 --> 00:05:29,268 It's all I can do to not imagine you lying dead in a ditch somewhere. 90 00:05:29,269 --> 00:05:31,669 Right back at ya, Mom. 91 00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:36,574 What did you want to talk about? 92 00:05:36,575 --> 00:05:38,913 Too late. I'm not speaking to you. 93 00:05:38,914 --> 00:05:41,861 -All right. -Would you like to know why? 94 00:05:41,862 --> 00:05:44,262 No, I trust your judgment. 95 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,405 Because when your brother's marriage ended, 96 00:05:47,406 --> 00:05:50,555 yes, I know, Alan, blah, blah, blah, 97 00:05:50,994 --> 00:05:54,614 and he chose to move in here, your coldness towards your mother 98 00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:57,562 became more than just the behavior of an ungrateful son. 99 00:05:57,563 --> 00:06:03,394 It's now an obstacle to my spending quality time with my beloved grandchild. 100 00:06:03,395 --> 00:06:05,637 Are you coming to Disneyland with us, Grandma? 101 00:06:05,638 --> 00:06:08,773 Darling, Grandma doesn't do Anaheim. 102 00:06:09,964 --> 00:06:13,808 We'd better hit the road. Try to beat the traffic. Thanks for dropping by, Mom. 103 00:06:13,809 --> 00:06:15,635 Let's go, Jake. I'll race you to the car. 104 00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:19,122 -Bye, Grandma. Bye, Uncle Charlie. -Bye. 105 00:06:22,974 --> 00:06:25,375 Wait for me, I'm going! 106 00:06:46,269 --> 00:06:50,781 Come on, boy. Heel. Stay. Now, stay. 107 00:06:50,883 --> 00:06:54,751 Who's a good dog? Oh, yeah! 108 00:06:55,914 --> 00:06:57,996 Hey, Jake, you want to take him? 109 00:06:57,997 --> 00:07:00,398 Whatever. Come on, leash. 110 00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:07,215 Get ready for bed. I'll be right in to tuck you in. 111 00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:12,640 Happiest place on earth, my snow white ass. 112 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,720 I had a good time. 113 00:07:20,652 --> 00:07:24,234 Oh, really? Which part did you like best? 114 00:07:24,305 --> 00:07:27,925 The equatorial heat, the endless lines, or the large German woman that 115 00:07:27,926 --> 00:07:30,538 threw up on me in the Teacup? 116 00:07:32,188 --> 00:07:37,185 Maybe things could have gone smoother, but tomorrow's gonna make up for it. 117 00:07:37,186 --> 00:07:43,611 Alan, you could get us all laid tomorrow, it's not gonna make up for it. 118 00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:49,970 Hey, sleepy head. You're just in time. Your pancakes are almost ready. 119 00:07:49,971 --> 00:07:51,732 I'm not hungry. 120 00:07:51,733 --> 00:07:54,841 Not hungry? Come on, you've gotta fuel up that engine. 121 00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:58,827 -We've got a big day planned. -My ear hurts. 122 00:07:59,296 --> 00:08:01,697 Oh, no. 123 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:05,285 Let me feel. Yeah, you're a little warm. 124 00:08:05,769 --> 00:08:08,391 Probably another ear infection. 125 00:08:08,557 --> 00:08:10,574 Okay, new plan. 126 00:08:10,575 --> 00:08:14,003 We'll get you on the antibiotics, we'll watch a little TV, 127 00:08:14,004 --> 00:08:16,919 play some video games. We'll have a great day. 128 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:18,682 I want to go home. 129 00:08:18,683 --> 00:08:20,572 You are home. 130 00:08:20,572 --> 00:08:23,694 I know, but the real one, with Mom. 131 00:08:27,495 --> 00:08:30,986 Okay, I understand that. You know, when a guy's feeling sick, 132 00:08:30,987 --> 00:08:33,293 he needs his mom. Right, Charlie? 133 00:08:33,294 --> 00:08:35,695 Well, 134 00:08:36,819 --> 00:08:39,402 I may not be the one to ask. 135 00:08:39,703 --> 00:08:44,879 Okay, I'll, call your mom and, tell her we're on our way. 136 00:08:45,663 --> 00:08:49,315 All right, it's just you and me now. Are you really sick, or are you just 137 00:08:49,316 --> 00:08:51,846 fakin' it to get out of another fun-filled afternoon? 138 00:08:51,847 --> 00:08:53,481 I'm really sick. 139 00:08:53,481 --> 00:08:57,294 Just checking. Because I was gonna fake it. 140 00:09:00,531 --> 00:09:05,625 If your home is bug infested filled with spiders, flies or gnats 141 00:09:05,626 --> 00:09:11,297 All our sprays are safety tested we kill vermin, not your cats 142 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,784 Hey. How's the jingle coming? 143 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,724 The lyrics are fine, the music needs a little work. 144 00:09:20,846 --> 00:09:22,032 How's Jake? 145 00:09:22,032 --> 00:09:24,915 He'll be okay. I stayed over at the house a little while. 146 00:09:24,916 --> 00:09:28,087 We watched some movies, I made us some soup and a couple of 147 00:09:28,088 --> 00:09:32,564 sandwiches, and Judith suggested I take mine to go. 148 00:09:32,895 --> 00:09:34,464 Suggested? 149 00:09:34,465 --> 00:09:38,021 She started my car and threw my sandwich in the back seat. 150 00:09:38,022 --> 00:09:40,072 That's rough. 151 00:09:40,072 --> 00:09:43,437 Listen, I'm afraid I got some more bad news for you. 152 00:09:43,438 --> 00:09:46,866 No, gosh, I forgot to bring Porky back. 153 00:09:47,122 --> 00:09:51,799 See, that's the thing. Nothing's bringing Porky back. 154 00:09:52,890 --> 00:09:55,291 What? Porky's dead? 155 00:09:55,582 --> 00:09:59,798 "Buh-dee, buh-dee, buh-dee, that's all folks! " 156 00:10:01,798 --> 00:10:04,199 Oh, God. 157 00:10:07,598 --> 00:10:11,737 It's okay. We can get Jake another guinea pig. 158 00:10:11,892 --> 00:10:17,125 Jake will be fine. This is his fourth Porky in three years. 159 00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:21,264 He goes through them faster than shoes. 160 00:10:21,441 --> 00:10:23,842 No, this is about my life. 161 00:10:24,933 --> 00:10:27,336 Everything is going to hell. 162 00:10:27,337 --> 00:10:31,553 Okay, well, don't cry. We can still be friends. 163 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,314 What? 164 00:10:35,315 --> 00:10:42,095 I'm sorry. It's the only thing I know to say when someone cries around here. 165 00:10:42,205 --> 00:10:44,606 I am so sorry, Porky. 166 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,651 You just kept running around in your little cage, 167 00:10:47,652 --> 00:10:52,009 trying to make everybody happy. And what do you get? 168 00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:54,411 You get dead. 169 00:10:55,214 --> 00:10:58,514 You do know the pig can't hear you, right? 170 00:10:58,515 --> 00:11:01,486 Don't you get it? I am the pig! 171 00:11:01,783 --> 00:11:06,717 Okay. I'm just asking, because your reaction doesn't seem very healthy to me. 172 00:11:06,718 --> 00:11:08,960 And what do you think would be healthy, Charlie? 173 00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:15,203 I don't know. Why don't we toss Porky in the ocean and go get bombed? 174 00:11:16,588 --> 00:11:19,494 How could you? 175 00:11:21,234 --> 00:11:23,635 Okay. 176 00:11:31,776 --> 00:11:35,228 Toss him in the ocean. Very clever. 177 00:11:36,230 --> 00:11:39,178 Who knew pelicans eat guinea pigs? 178 00:11:44,818 --> 00:11:47,219 What's happening? 179 00:11:48,086 --> 00:11:50,648 Sunday's Tequila Night at Pavlov's. 180 00:11:50,649 --> 00:11:53,469 Every time the bell rings, you gotta take a shot. 181 00:11:53,470 --> 00:11:55,327 Why? 182 00:11:55,328 --> 00:11:57,729 'Cause the bell rings. 183 00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,652 Okay. 184 00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:02,054 You gotta bark first. 185 00:12:07,953 --> 00:12:09,394 Charlie, 186 00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:14,937 when my son looked at me and told me that he wanted to go "home", 187 00:12:14,938 --> 00:12:16,572 that broke my heart. 188 00:12:16,573 --> 00:12:17,886 I saw. 189 00:12:17,887 --> 00:12:21,666 You know, my kid is sick, and I can't even be with him. 190 00:12:21,667 --> 00:12:26,185 You know, I'm a failure, Charlie. I'm a failure as a father, 191 00:12:26,186 --> 00:12:27,626 I'm a failure as a husband. 192 00:12:27,627 --> 00:12:32,241 You didn't fail. First of all, that little boy loves you. 193 00:12:32,242 --> 00:12:35,317 Second of all, just because your wife decides she doesn't like 194 00:12:35,318 --> 00:12:38,073 sleeping with men, doesn't mean you've failed as a husband. 195 00:12:38,074 --> 00:12:41,147 Although, I wouldn't brag about it. 196 00:12:41,214 --> 00:12:43,872 You're right. This is Judith's fault. 197 00:12:43,873 --> 00:12:47,173 She's the one who breached our marriage contract asunder. 198 00:12:47,174 --> 00:12:52,994 And I let her make decisions that should have been in my dominion. 199 00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:57,299 Alan, people are gonna do whatever they're gonna do in this world. 200 00:12:57,300 --> 00:13:01,948 The only thing a man can control is his own actions. 201 00:13:10,245 --> 00:13:13,722 I don't remember where we left our car. 202 00:13:14,539 --> 00:13:16,940 This isn't our car? 203 00:13:18,384 --> 00:13:19,505 Where to? 204 00:13:19,506 --> 00:13:21,300 Home. 205 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,215 -And that would be? -Sherman Oaks. 206 00:13:24,216 --> 00:13:25,882 We don't live in Sherman Oaks. 207 00:13:25,883 --> 00:13:28,926 I do. I am a Sherman Oaksian and I am 208 00:13:28,927 --> 00:13:32,202 going home for as to reclaim my home. 209 00:13:33,189 --> 00:13:37,738 That's a very bad idea. I'll tell you what's a good idea. 210 00:13:37,739 --> 00:13:43,057 Chili cheese fries and a large root beer. With chili cheese fries. 211 00:13:43,058 --> 00:13:45,459 And girls. 212 00:13:45,845 --> 00:13:50,554 No. I am going home to my wife 213 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:53,338 to impose my dominion over her. 214 00:13:53,472 --> 00:13:56,094 Yeah. The lesbians love that. 215 00:13:57,510 --> 00:14:00,099 Driver! Sherman Oaks! 216 00:14:02,252 --> 00:14:05,158 1 167, Bonnie Meadow Drive. 217 00:14:05,392 --> 00:14:09,044 Goodbye, Charlie. I'll be back for my things tomorrow. 218 00:14:09,045 --> 00:14:12,627 Thank you, driver. You've been most kind. 219 00:14:19,908 --> 00:14:22,054 So, back to Malibu? 220 00:14:22,055 --> 00:14:24,513 No. Let's give it a second. 221 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:32,627 Did you know they put chocolate pudding in tubes now? 222 00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:35,510 No, I did not. 223 00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:40,220 They do. My nephew eats them. 224 00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:44,931 They're surprisingly good. 225 00:14:48,234 --> 00:14:50,541 You know, that's an interesting sibling dynamic 226 00:14:50,542 --> 00:14:54,124 you've got goin' with your brother there. 227 00:14:54,835 --> 00:14:57,601 You get that I'm loaded, right? 228 00:15:00,155 --> 00:15:02,555 Drive! 229 00:15:06,884 --> 00:15:10,303 So? How'd it go? 230 00:15:12,139 --> 00:15:16,479 She chased me out of the house with a golf club. 231 00:15:18,355 --> 00:15:20,756 Taking up golf already. 232 00:15:21,912 --> 00:15:23,673 What was it like, a six iron? 233 00:15:23,674 --> 00:15:25,275 What difference does it make? 234 00:15:25,276 --> 00:15:29,924 I just want to be able to tell the story accurately. 235 00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:38,926 It's not funny. 236 00:15:38,926 --> 00:15:41,327 Then why are you laughing? 237 00:15:41,426 --> 00:15:44,749 Because I don't know what else to do. 238 00:15:45,496 --> 00:15:48,283 I wish I could ask Dad for advice. 239 00:15:48,284 --> 00:15:51,326 You'd go to Dad for marriage counseling? 240 00:15:51,327 --> 00:15:54,595 Alan, our father committed suicide to get away from our mother. 241 00:15:54,596 --> 00:15:58,441 What're you talking about? Dad didn't commit suicide. He died of food poisoning. 242 00:15:58,442 --> 00:16:03,535 I maintain that he knew the fish was bad, but he kept eating it anyway. 243 00:16:03,536 --> 00:16:07,380 Your mother sounds like a real piece of work. 244 00:16:07,381 --> 00:16:10,167 You have no idea, my friend. 245 00:16:10,265 --> 00:16:15,296 My mother took my baby brother and dipped him in sissy sauce 246 00:16:15,297 --> 00:16:18,564 and turned him into the people-pleasing control freak you see today. 247 00:16:18,565 --> 00:16:22,793 That's right! And she made him so scared of intimacy 248 00:16:22,794 --> 00:16:25,837 that he has just this endless stream of gorgeous girls 249 00:16:25,838 --> 00:16:27,793 running in and out of his life. 250 00:16:27,794 --> 00:16:30,194 Damn her. 251 00:16:31,606 --> 00:16:36,316 You know, many psychologists agree, until the core maternal relationship 252 00:16:36,317 --> 00:16:41,987 is resolved, most men are doomed to repeat dysfunctional childhood patterns. 253 00:16:41,988 --> 00:16:44,783 Just drive the cab, Doctor Phil. 254 00:16:45,706 --> 00:16:48,652 You know what, Charlie? He's not wrong. 255 00:16:48,653 --> 00:16:51,248 At some point, we have to stand up to her. 256 00:16:51,249 --> 00:16:53,652 Look who's got beer muscles all of a sudden. 257 00:16:53,653 --> 00:16:55,862 No, I'm serious. Come on. Right now. 258 00:16:55,863 --> 00:16:59,797 Let's confront her. You with me? Come on! 259 00:17:00,093 --> 00:17:02,494 Oh, my God. 260 00:17:02,592 --> 00:17:05,892 I can't believe it! You really are afraid of Mom! 261 00:17:05,893 --> 00:17:07,430 I am not. 262 00:17:07,431 --> 00:17:09,897 All these years, I thought you were so cool. 263 00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:12,365 But you're just a big clucking chicken! 264 00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:14,736 Ouch. 265 00:17:14,737 --> 00:17:15,858 Ouch? 266 00:17:15,859 --> 00:17:19,222 Okay, that's it. We have a new destination. 267 00:17:19,223 --> 00:17:20,984 Beverly Hills. 268 00:17:20,985 --> 00:17:22,554 You got an address? 269 00:17:22,555 --> 00:17:27,635 Just go east on Sunset until you reach the Gates of Hell. 270 00:17:29,541 --> 00:17:31,942 She'll buzz us in. 271 00:17:35,694 --> 00:17:37,422 I can't wait to see her face. 272 00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:39,824 She's gonna freak. 273 00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:41,909 You ready? 274 00:17:41,910 --> 00:17:44,311 Ring the bell. 275 00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,521 Who is it? 276 00:17:56,521 --> 00:17:58,827 It's your sons! 277 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:01,229 Charlie and Alan. 278 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,702 Hi, Mom. 279 00:18:08,762 --> 00:18:12,238 Dear God. Hold on. I'll be right there. 280 00:18:12,511 --> 00:18:15,843 Okay, what exactly are we gonna say to her? 281 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,840 Now you ask? This was your safari. 282 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,444 We're here to resolve the core maternal thing. 283 00:18:22,445 --> 00:18:25,057 Wait, I'll go ask the cabbie. 284 00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:28,723 Nice try. 285 00:18:32,955 --> 00:18:35,356 Somebody better be dead. 286 00:18:36,319 --> 00:18:38,720 Porky's dead. 287 00:18:40,645 --> 00:18:44,008 And you completely screwed up our lives. 288 00:18:44,009 --> 00:18:45,066 I'm sorry? 289 00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:48,719 -That's good enough for me. -Yeah, I'm good. 290 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,121 Driver, drive! 291 00:18:58,462 --> 00:19:00,862 Good morning, sunshine. 292 00:19:02,370 --> 00:19:06,369 God. Close the drapes. 293 00:19:09,068 --> 00:19:13,648 Hey, what's this? "Release and indemnification form." 294 00:19:14,355 --> 00:19:15,827 What? 295 00:19:15,828 --> 00:19:19,128 Were you on some kind of television show last night? 296 00:19:19,129 --> 00:19:20,314 I don't think so. 297 00:19:20,315 --> 00:19:22,654 You and your brother signed it. 298 00:19:22,655 --> 00:19:25,055 Let me see that. 299 00:19:26,788 --> 00:19:29,189 Alan. 300 00:19:29,672 --> 00:19:32,073 Alan, wake up. 301 00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:38,033 We got a problem. 302 00:19:40,855 --> 00:19:43,256 "Taxicab Confessions?" 303 00:19:45,533 --> 00:19:47,840 Ifyou've got bugs 304 00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:50,241 Ifyou've got ants 305 00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:56,244 If you've got bugs and flies and slugs and things that crawl 306 00:19:56,428 --> 00:19:58,829 Ain't that Beethoven? 307 00:20:01,042 --> 00:20:05,863 I don 't even know how my wife is gonna be a lesbian. 308 00:20:06,266 --> 00:20:08,411 She hates oral sex. 309 00:20:08,412 --> 00:20:10,813 Hates it!