1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:04,756 -But I don't want to go to summer camp. -Are you kidding? 2 00:00:04,757 --> 00:00:06,674 You'll have a great time. Look at this one. 3 00:00:06,675 --> 00:00:09,167 It's a computer camp with a theater program. 4 00:00:09,168 --> 00:00:12,820 Ethernet by day, No, no, Nanette by night. 5 00:00:12,845 --> 00:00:14,475 I don't want to go to camp. 6 00:00:14,476 --> 00:00:16,523 If the kid doesn't want to go, don't make him go. 7 00:00:16,524 --> 00:00:18,504 -Yeah. -He's 10, he's old enough to work. 8 00:00:18,505 --> 00:00:19,944 What? 9 00:00:19,945 --> 00:00:24,068 When I was your age, I spent my summers hosing tarantulas off bananas 10 00:00:24,069 --> 00:00:26,498 in the back of my stepfather's truck. 11 00:00:26,499 --> 00:00:29,891 -What's going on? -I'm going to camp. 12 00:00:30,592 --> 00:00:33,492 Okay. Morning, all. Beautiful day. 13 00:00:34,173 --> 00:00:37,593 -You're in a good mood. -Well, I suppose I am. 14 00:00:37,594 --> 00:00:40,344 I got a little e-mail this morning from an ex-girlfriend, 15 00:00:40,345 --> 00:00:43,029 who says she needs to "see" me. 16 00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:46,805 No kidding. I wonder if she's "knocked up." 17 00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:51,535 Nobody's knocked up. I haven't heard from her in five years. 18 00:00:51,536 --> 00:00:54,698 So she's bringing you a 4-year-old. 19 00:00:54,701 --> 00:00:56,778 Believe me, nobody's bringing anything. 20 00:00:56,779 --> 00:00:59,369 -Remember Jill? -Jill the slob? 21 00:00:59,370 --> 00:01:02,278 Yeah, but do you remember how hot she was? 22 00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:06,914 Sure, she was a tight unit, but she left dirty dishes everywhere. 23 00:01:06,914 --> 00:01:11,103 Swear to God, this broad left half eaten casseroles in the bathtub. 24 00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:12,382 So? 25 00:01:12,383 --> 00:01:15,964 With a body like that she could drink out of the toilet if she wanted to. 26 00:01:15,964 --> 00:01:19,001 Wait a minute. Isn't she the one who dumped you? 27 00:01:19,002 --> 00:01:20,599 Somebody dumped Charlie? 28 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:24,181 Broke his little black heart. It was pathetic. 29 00:01:24,182 --> 00:01:26,035 She didn't dump me. 30 00:01:26,036 --> 00:01:29,456 She had personal problems and moved to Europe to, you know, find herself. 31 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,853 -Berta? -He wept. 32 00:01:32,495 --> 00:01:35,148 I did not. I felt the appropriate amount of sadness 33 00:01:35,149 --> 00:01:37,706 for a good relationship that had run its course. 34 00:01:37,707 --> 00:01:40,872 I had to carry him to bed three nights in a row. 35 00:01:40,873 --> 00:01:43,909 I was perfectly happy sleeping under the deck. 36 00:01:43,910 --> 00:01:46,692 You bring her home, you clean up after. 37 00:01:46,693 --> 00:01:49,175 Thank God you never get any. 38 00:02:14,766 --> 00:02:17,067 -What can I get for you? -White wine, please. 39 00:02:17,068 --> 00:02:19,464 Maybe a Chablis. 40 00:02:19,882 --> 00:02:23,149 You know, make it a beer. Light beer. 41 00:02:23,975 --> 00:02:26,371 Just a beer. 42 00:02:26,821 --> 00:02:28,578 Another one? 43 00:02:28,579 --> 00:02:32,786 Might as well. Looks like I'm getting stood up. 44 00:02:33,216 --> 00:02:35,453 Chicks, huh? 45 00:02:35,454 --> 00:02:38,137 Maybe she's got a good reason. 46 00:02:38,651 --> 00:02:40,825 I tell you what, if it were any other woman, 47 00:02:40,826 --> 00:02:42,424 I'd have been out of here an hour ago. 48 00:02:42,425 --> 00:02:44,598 -Really? -Oh, yeah. 49 00:02:44,599 --> 00:02:48,279 This girl? This girl's something different. 50 00:02:50,514 --> 00:02:52,815 How so? 51 00:02:52,816 --> 00:02:56,205 Well, did you ever go out with somebody who's not only 52 00:02:56,206 --> 00:02:58,987 great in bed but also like a really cool friend? 53 00:02:58,987 --> 00:03:01,384 Yeah. Once. 54 00:03:02,184 --> 00:03:04,070 In fact, now that I think about it, 55 00:03:04,071 --> 00:03:06,564 the friendship was the best part of our relationship. 56 00:03:06,565 --> 00:03:08,035 No kidding? 57 00:03:08,036 --> 00:03:10,949 Yeah. The sex was a little weird. 58 00:03:13,631 --> 00:03:16,822 We would like wrestle to get on top. 59 00:03:18,972 --> 00:03:23,576 She would actually get angry if she wasn't up there. 60 00:03:23,577 --> 00:03:26,059 Maybe she had a good reason. 61 00:03:27,317 --> 00:03:29,712 Maybe. 62 00:03:29,715 --> 00:03:32,111 Charlie, look at me. 63 00:03:36,782 --> 00:03:40,021 -How do you know my name? -It's me. 64 00:03:40,619 --> 00:03:43,014 Me who? 65 00:03:50,115 --> 00:03:52,512 No. 66 00:03:53,889 --> 00:03:56,284 Yes. 67 00:03:57,118 --> 00:03:59,035 Jill? 68 00:03:59,036 --> 00:04:01,432 Bill. 69 00:04:04,248 --> 00:04:06,644 No. 70 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,462 We're gonna need two shots of tequila. 71 00:04:16,463 --> 00:04:19,818 -That's okay, I don't want to... -They're not for you. 72 00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:22,473 This girl you're waiting for really must be something. 73 00:04:22,474 --> 00:04:25,734 Just serve the hooch and mind your own business. 74 00:04:25,735 --> 00:04:28,984 -Listen, Charlie, I know... -Hang on. 75 00:04:32,674 --> 00:04:34,848 Okay, go. 76 00:04:34,849 --> 00:04:36,766 I know this comes as a shock to you. 77 00:04:36,767 --> 00:04:38,972 Please, if I had a nickel for every time 78 00:04:38,973 --> 00:04:41,242 a girl dumped me and disappeared for five years 79 00:04:41,243 --> 00:04:44,567 and came back as a guy, I'd have a nickel. 80 00:04:44,568 --> 00:04:46,614 Keep them coming. 81 00:04:46,615 --> 00:04:48,500 I think I owe you an explanation. 82 00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:50,483 Who pays the nickel, by the way? 83 00:04:50,484 --> 00:04:54,308 Is it you or just out of some general fund? 84 00:04:55,249 --> 00:04:57,644 Yeah? 85 00:04:59,117 --> 00:05:04,790 Remember, when we broke up and I said, "It's not you, it's me"? 86 00:05:07,687 --> 00:05:10,091 Yes. And I believe you now. 87 00:05:11,939 --> 00:05:15,455 I was so mixed up and unhappy as a woman. 88 00:05:15,456 --> 00:05:18,237 So? I know lots of mixed up, unhappy women. 89 00:05:18,238 --> 00:05:21,019 They go shopping and eat ice cream. Did you even try that? 90 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,193 I tried everything, but the truth is, 91 00:05:23,194 --> 00:05:25,815 I was always a man trapped in a woman's body. 92 00:05:25,816 --> 00:05:27,990 No, I'm not buying this. 93 00:05:27,991 --> 00:05:31,188 If you were really a man back then, you would've jumped at that 94 00:05:31,189 --> 00:05:34,640 three-way with the cocktail waitress in Carmel. 95 00:05:34,641 --> 00:05:37,007 I begged you. 96 00:05:37,008 --> 00:05:41,003 -You haven't changed. -I wish I could say the same. 97 00:05:41,004 --> 00:05:43,593 Charlie, how could I have explained it to you back then? 98 00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,960 I couldn't even explain it to myself. 99 00:05:45,961 --> 00:05:49,257 Okay, now you've explained. Thank you. 100 00:05:49,926 --> 00:05:51,651 Nice to see you again. 101 00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:54,049 Good luck with the penis. 102 00:05:54,786 --> 00:05:57,181 Wait. 103 00:05:57,280 --> 00:06:01,084 A few minutes ago you said I was a really cool friend. 104 00:06:01,085 --> 00:06:02,426 Yeah. 105 00:06:02,427 --> 00:06:07,640 Well, I'm back in LA and I'm kind of starting a new life. 106 00:06:08,439 --> 00:06:12,291 -And I could really use a friend. -Oh, boy. 107 00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:15,057 It's just... 108 00:06:15,058 --> 00:06:17,770 You know, I'm completely alone, 109 00:06:18,288 --> 00:06:20,683 and I'm really scared. 110 00:06:22,284 --> 00:06:24,680 Jeez. 111 00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:29,083 -It's gonna be okay, Jill. -Bill. 112 00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:33,056 Yeah, Bill, whatever. It's okay. 113 00:06:33,347 --> 00:06:35,744 I'm still your friend. 114 00:06:36,097 --> 00:06:38,493 Charlie, you're the best. 115 00:06:41,182 --> 00:06:46,577 I wish I could've loved you the way you deserve to be loved. 116 00:06:49,846 --> 00:06:53,075 Thanks for the ride, Bill. You're a good friend. 117 00:06:53,076 --> 00:06:57,081 -You called me Bill. -That's your name, lady. 118 00:06:57,169 --> 00:06:59,086 Just like old times, huh? 119 00:06:59,087 --> 00:07:02,187 Drag your drunk ass home, take you upstairs, 120 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:04,584 get you undressed and... 121 00:07:10,470 --> 00:07:11,813 Alan. 122 00:07:11,813 --> 00:07:14,115 You never met my brother, Alan, did you? 123 00:07:14,116 --> 00:07:16,673 No, I never met anyone in your family, Charlie. 124 00:07:16,674 --> 00:07:18,911 Yeah, different rules now. 125 00:07:18,912 --> 00:07:22,907 Bill, this is my brother Alan. Alan, this is my old friend, Bill. 126 00:07:22,908 --> 00:07:25,146 -Nice to meet you, Bill. -Same here. 127 00:07:25,147 --> 00:07:30,422 I thought you were gonna hook up with that girlfriend who wanted to "see" you. 128 00:07:30,423 --> 00:07:31,924 Right. 129 00:07:31,925 --> 00:07:35,883 Turns out she changed her "mind." 130 00:07:38,129 --> 00:07:42,058 Anyway, I ran into my old friend, Bill, here. 131 00:07:45,354 --> 00:07:48,545 So, stood up by Jill, ran into Bill. 132 00:07:48,904 --> 00:07:51,109 That's funny. 133 00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:53,795 You have a sick sense of humor, Alan. 134 00:07:53,796 --> 00:07:56,673 The house is clean, I'm going home now. 135 00:07:56,674 --> 00:07:59,103 I'll pick that up on Monday. 136 00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:01,500 I'm sorry, that's mine. 137 00:08:05,115 --> 00:08:07,511 Hi. 138 00:08:07,514 --> 00:08:09,909 Hi. 139 00:08:13,109 --> 00:08:15,505 Okay, I'm out of here. 140 00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:25,770 So, Bill, you from around here? 141 00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:27,976 I was, but I moved away for a couple years. 142 00:08:27,977 --> 00:08:30,119 I'm planning on moving back and buying a place. 143 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,590 Hello. 144 00:08:31,591 --> 00:08:35,101 Evelyn Harper, Evelyn Harper Real Estate. 145 00:08:36,003 --> 00:08:39,779 -Yeah, Mom's here. -No problem, I'm drunk. 146 00:08:40,959 --> 00:08:43,229 I'm Bill Shraeder. I'm a friend of Charlie's. 147 00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:45,467 No need to apologize. 148 00:08:45,468 --> 00:08:48,185 So, are you interested in renting or buying? 149 00:08:48,186 --> 00:08:50,103 -Buying. -Excellent. 150 00:08:50,104 --> 00:08:51,797 Price range? 151 00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:54,837 -I'm flexible. -I'll bet you are. 152 00:08:55,188 --> 00:08:58,456 -But I was talking money. -So was l. 153 00:08:59,792 --> 00:09:03,185 Sexy and liquid. I like that in a man. 154 00:09:04,749 --> 00:09:07,691 -Nice guy. Poker buddy? -Used to. 155 00:09:10,472 --> 00:09:12,867 And don't call me "buddy." 156 00:09:17,187 --> 00:09:19,582 There it is. 157 00:09:20,608 --> 00:09:23,646 Thank you so much for showing me the condos, Evelyn. 158 00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:25,435 Thank you for dinner, Bill. 159 00:09:25,436 --> 00:09:27,832 Thank you for dessert. 160 00:09:31,512 --> 00:09:34,324 Shall we go to my place for coffee and cigars? 161 00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:38,782 -I don't smoke. -You will when I'm done with you. 162 00:09:41,807 --> 00:09:44,204 Oh, my God. 163 00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:46,665 He's like half her age. 164 00:09:48,362 --> 00:09:50,759 Yeah. That's the problem. 165 00:09:55,844 --> 00:09:58,945 I'm trying, Charlie. I'm trying to be open-minded. 166 00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:05,117 But our mom with a guy who's younger than us, it's just freaking me out. 167 00:10:05,118 --> 00:10:06,331 Trust me, Alan. 168 00:10:06,332 --> 00:10:11,064 Very soon you're gonna be looking back on this moment with fond nostalgia. 169 00:10:11,065 --> 00:10:13,460 -What do you mean? -Look. 170 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,892 -Who's this? -This is Jill. 171 00:10:15,893 --> 00:10:17,938 The woman who dumped you? 172 00:10:17,939 --> 00:10:20,048 Get over that. Nobody dumped me. 173 00:10:20,049 --> 00:10:22,383 All right, I'm sorry. Why are we looking at Jill? 174 00:10:22,384 --> 00:10:24,779 -Just look at it. -Okay. 175 00:10:24,845 --> 00:10:27,179 She's cute. 176 00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:29,034 Very tall. 177 00:10:29,035 --> 00:10:32,130 Broad shoulders. Holy mother of God! 178 00:10:34,758 --> 00:10:37,154 Welcome to the Matrix. 179 00:10:39,171 --> 00:10:42,365 -So Jill is... -Yep. 180 00:10:43,967 --> 00:10:48,404 -And you and Jill used to... -Every chance we got. 181 00:10:49,434 --> 00:10:52,781 -And Mom is... -At this very moment. 182 00:10:54,615 --> 00:10:57,011 Holy mother of God! 183 00:10:57,556 --> 00:10:59,378 What are you guys yelling about? 184 00:10:59,379 --> 00:11:01,774 -Go to bed. -Go to bed. 185 00:11:02,736 --> 00:11:06,092 -Do you realize what this means? -Yes. 186 00:11:06,093 --> 00:11:09,578 I slept with a woman who wanted to be a man. 187 00:11:09,579 --> 00:11:13,297 Or, I slept with a man in a woman's body. 188 00:11:13,448 --> 00:11:17,572 Or, and this is my new favorite, and the title of my autobiography, 189 00:11:17,573 --> 00:11:20,965 my mom and I slept with the same dude. 190 00:11:24,448 --> 00:11:28,123 Excuse me, could we just table that for now and discuss 191 00:11:28,124 --> 00:11:30,394 how this impacts on our mother? 192 00:11:30,395 --> 00:11:33,029 Why? The damage has been done. 193 00:11:33,112 --> 00:11:34,838 All that's left to do now is drink 194 00:11:34,839 --> 00:11:38,355 until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures is dead. 195 00:11:38,355 --> 00:11:40,273 Charlie, stay with me. 196 00:11:40,274 --> 00:11:42,670 Do you think I'm gay? 197 00:11:43,089 --> 00:11:46,381 For God's sake, Charlie, this is not about you. 198 00:11:46,382 --> 00:11:48,777 I like musical theater. 199 00:11:50,763 --> 00:11:53,863 Maybe all these years I've been pathologically chasing women 200 00:11:53,864 --> 00:11:56,834 because I've been overcompensating. 201 00:11:57,349 --> 00:12:00,339 You know, I've often thought that. 202 00:12:00,835 --> 00:12:03,647 What? I'm agreeing with you. What do you want to hear? 203 00:12:03,648 --> 00:12:06,173 I want you to tell me that there is no chance 204 00:12:06,174 --> 00:12:12,383 that either of us will ever have to call a woman I slept with "Daddy." 205 00:12:22,130 --> 00:12:24,526 Jill the slob. 206 00:12:31,307 --> 00:12:33,703 Gadzooks! 207 00:12:37,158 --> 00:12:39,554 -Morning. -Morning. 208 00:12:46,751 --> 00:12:49,147 So, how was your weekend? 209 00:12:49,820 --> 00:12:51,417 -Fine. -Okay. 210 00:12:51,418 --> 00:12:54,424 Nothing exciting happening in your world, Charlie? 211 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:57,173 -Like what? -I don't know. 212 00:12:58,134 --> 00:13:00,403 Go to a fun party? See a great movie? 213 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:03,796 Run into an old flame with a new wick? 214 00:13:07,566 --> 00:13:09,164 What are the odds? 215 00:13:09,165 --> 00:13:13,193 One brother turns them gay, and the other turns them guy. 216 00:13:13,194 --> 00:13:16,550 If you don't mind, Berta, I'd rather not talk about it. 217 00:13:16,551 --> 00:13:19,742 Okay. I'll fix you something to eat. 218 00:13:20,037 --> 00:13:22,977 How about a sausage link and a couple eggs? 219 00:13:22,978 --> 00:13:24,895 Hello? Anybody home? 220 00:13:24,896 --> 00:13:27,292 Oh, no. 221 00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:32,249 Charlie, I need to talk to you about your friend, Bill. 222 00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:34,646 -Oh, boy. -Oh, boy. 223 00:13:35,769 --> 00:13:41,624 You know, I'd really rather not discuss this in front of the help. 224 00:13:41,684 --> 00:13:46,072 -Berta, could you give us some privacy? -Hell, no. 225 00:13:46,832 --> 00:13:49,227 -Sorry. -Okay. 226 00:13:53,802 --> 00:13:58,498 Bill and I shared something very special this weekend. 227 00:14:00,229 --> 00:14:03,361 I realize that might be awkward for you, 228 00:14:03,362 --> 00:14:06,655 so I thought I'd come by to discuss it. 229 00:14:06,656 --> 00:14:09,949 That's nice, Mom. Isn't that nice, Alan? 230 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:14,585 You're the expert, Charlie. Is it too early to start drinking? 231 00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:16,663 What's that supposed to mean? 232 00:14:16,664 --> 00:14:21,482 Mom, how much do you know about Bill? 233 00:14:21,748 --> 00:14:24,849 Charlie, I have no doubt that you two shared 234 00:14:24,850 --> 00:14:29,468 some sordid adventures together, but that's the past. 235 00:14:30,573 --> 00:14:32,555 The only thing that matters to me now is 236 00:14:32,556 --> 00:14:36,896 that Bill is a handsome, sensitive, wonderful man. 237 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:39,525 Excuse me? 238 00:14:39,526 --> 00:14:42,640 Nothing. I'm just happy to be here. 239 00:14:43,555 --> 00:14:46,048 Frankly, Mom, I'm a little uncomfortable with this. 240 00:14:46,049 --> 00:14:49,441 A little? I think I'm having a stroke. 241 00:14:51,069 --> 00:14:53,587 I knew it. You hypocrites. 242 00:14:54,075 --> 00:14:57,303 It's perfectly all right for you to date younger women. 243 00:14:57,304 --> 00:15:00,596 But when a mature woman gets involved with a younger man, 244 00:15:00,597 --> 00:15:03,059 somehow it's scandalous and immoral. 245 00:15:03,060 --> 00:15:07,087 -No, Mom, it's not the age. -Well, what then? 246 00:15:07,088 --> 00:15:08,526 Because he's your friend? 247 00:15:08,527 --> 00:15:11,212 I didn't object when you dated that friend of mine. 248 00:15:11,213 --> 00:15:13,130 -You what? -One time. 249 00:15:13,131 --> 00:15:16,571 I was 19 and she was a very doable 42. 250 00:15:17,225 --> 00:15:20,804 And if you heard how she talked about you, you wouldn't call her a friend. 251 00:15:20,805 --> 00:15:24,545 I've heard enough. I'm going to continue to see Bill, 252 00:15:24,546 --> 00:15:27,648 and if you don't like it, that's just too bad. 253 00:15:27,649 --> 00:15:30,749 Wait, Mom, I thought you came here so that we could discuss it. 254 00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:35,972 Please, I came here to brag. I just needed an opening line. 255 00:15:36,601 --> 00:15:40,469 -Wow, she doesn't know. -Someone's going to have to tell her. 256 00:15:40,470 --> 00:15:42,228 -Charlie? -What? 257 00:15:42,229 --> 00:15:47,595 I'll clean your house free for a month if you let me do it. 258 00:15:52,013 --> 00:15:54,251 Come on, it is a little funny. 259 00:15:54,252 --> 00:15:58,343 When we were dating you never wanted me to meet your mom. 260 00:15:58,344 --> 00:16:02,350 All right, maybe not so much funny as ironic. 261 00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:06,152 -Look, Jill. Bill. -You're angry with me. 262 00:16:06,657 --> 00:16:09,242 Not angry. Not thrilled. 263 00:16:09,856 --> 00:16:11,964 Charlie, I never planned for this to happen. 264 00:16:11,965 --> 00:16:14,267 I mean, your mom and I just hit it off. 265 00:16:14,268 --> 00:16:17,433 She beautiful, intelligent, self-assured, 266 00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:21,746 and she's just exploding with this raw sexuality. 267 00:16:22,037 --> 00:16:25,101 No, listen, fella, 268 00:16:25,266 --> 00:16:29,423 I don't know what they told you in orientation, 269 00:16:29,424 --> 00:16:33,196 but, Rule Number 1, when a guy talks like that about another guy's mom, 270 00:16:33,197 --> 00:16:35,595 he's likely to get his ass kicked. 271 00:16:35,596 --> 00:16:38,152 Come on, Charlie, please don't get all macho on me. 272 00:16:38,153 --> 00:16:41,126 You couldn't take me when I was a girl. 273 00:16:41,127 --> 00:16:42,500 Don't change the subject. 274 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,699 We're talking about you and my mother. Why haven't you told her? 275 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,161 -Told her what? -That you're lactose intolerant. 276 00:16:48,162 --> 00:16:49,695 What do you think? 277 00:16:49,696 --> 00:16:51,806 -Stop yelling at me. -I'm not yelling at you! 278 00:16:51,807 --> 00:16:54,203 Yes, you are! 279 00:16:55,132 --> 00:16:57,528 Okay, I'm sorry. 280 00:16:57,881 --> 00:16:59,384 Look, you need to understand 281 00:16:59,384 --> 00:17:02,804 that no matter how much I hate my mother, I love my mother, 282 00:17:02,805 --> 00:17:04,499 and I don't want to see her get hurt. 283 00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:08,080 So, you got to tell her before she finds out the hard way. 284 00:17:08,081 --> 00:17:10,717 Or whatever way she finds out. 285 00:17:12,303 --> 00:17:13,996 But what if she rejects me? 286 00:17:13,997 --> 00:17:16,937 Welcome to the rodeo, Calamity Jane. 287 00:17:16,938 --> 00:17:18,632 You want to be a real man? 288 00:17:18,633 --> 00:17:21,829 Grab hold of those store-bought balls and just tell the truth. 289 00:17:21,830 --> 00:17:24,227 Yeah, you're right. 290 00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:32,444 We still friends? 291 00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:35,130 Yeah. Sure. 292 00:17:36,859 --> 00:17:41,114 I'm glad. They're made out of Teflon, you know. 293 00:17:42,870 --> 00:17:45,266 Okay, Rule Number 2... 294 00:17:47,570 --> 00:17:48,913 What'd I miss? 295 00:17:48,914 --> 00:17:51,183 Nothing. I don't think he's told her yet. 296 00:17:51,184 --> 00:17:53,997 What are you doing here? You finished cleaning hours ago. 297 00:17:53,998 --> 00:17:59,996 I took a nap in the laundry room so I'd be fresh for the big show. 298 00:18:00,584 --> 00:18:03,469 Okay, I think he's going for it. 299 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:18,816 -Wow, that went surprisingly well. -Damn. 300 00:18:22,264 --> 00:18:25,024 Wait a minute, what's he doing? 301 00:18:38,954 --> 00:18:41,350 There you go. 302 00:18:41,736 --> 00:18:44,131 See you tomorrow. 303 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,141 Okay, we'll make a list. 304 00:18:54,142 --> 00:18:59,346 The pros and cons of continuing your relationship with Bill. 305 00:19:01,145 --> 00:19:04,930 -Mom? -Well, he certainly understands women. 306 00:19:06,164 --> 00:19:08,178 Okay, that's a pro. 307 00:19:08,179 --> 00:19:10,576 He used to be a woman. 308 00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:14,028 I'll put con. 309 00:19:15,886 --> 00:19:18,570 He slept with Charlie when he was a woman. 310 00:19:18,571 --> 00:19:21,591 Pro. No, wait, con. Definitely con. 311 00:19:21,865 --> 00:19:27,184 -He knows what I like in bed. -He knows what I like in bed. 312 00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:30,815 We'll call that a wash. 313 00:19:31,202 --> 00:19:34,470 -What's the score? -It's about even. 314 00:19:35,838 --> 00:19:37,851 He's gorgeous. 315 00:19:37,852 --> 00:19:40,345 He can afford beach-front property 316 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:45,141 and he's got a trunk full of fabulous shoes that fit me perfectly. 317 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:48,228 Don't wait up, Mommy's got a date.