1 00:00:01,810 --> 00:00:10,690 ‫Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another modeled writing task to a lesson, and today we're going 2 00:00:10,690 --> 00:00:15,000 ‫to be looking at a question around the topic of sports. 3 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:22,480 ‫I just want to point out that this was a request made by an elite seven plus student. 4 00:00:22,780 --> 00:00:26,230 ‫And thank you very much for this request. 5 00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:31,600 ‫I just wanted to show that, you know, I really do appreciate hearing from you all. 6 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:38,800 ‫And I will try my best to upload lessons that you feel need adding into the course. 7 00:00:40,030 --> 00:00:46,120 ‫So in this lesson, we're going to be looking at one of the question types that apana has requested. 8 00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:48,970 ‫So thank you very much for that. 9 00:00:49,780 --> 00:00:52,360 ‫Let's take a look at the question. 10 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:59,200 ‫I'm not going to go over the features checklist again right away because I'll have it in the writing 11 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,040 ‫process. 12 00:01:00,370 --> 00:01:03,880 ‫So we'll just jump straight into having a look at the question. 13 00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:12,320 ‫So throughout education, boys often play sports for longer and more often than girls. 14 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,240 ‫Why do you think this is? 15 00:01:15,850 --> 00:01:18,850 ‫Do you think this should be changed? 16 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:28,780 ‫OK, so the first thing we need to do, as always, is to consider what type of question this is. 17 00:01:29,470 --> 00:01:34,420 ‫And it's quite obvious to see that we are asked to questions. 18 00:01:34,430 --> 00:01:37,860 ‫So it's a two part question. 19 00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:39,870 ‫Why do you think this is? 20 00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:43,030 ‫Do you think this should be changed? 21 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:50,380 ‫And we are talking about the topic of boys playing sports more often than girls at school. 22 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:57,160 ‫OK, so I think it's time that we start putting together a quick plan. 23 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:07,750 ‫So in our two part question plan, our first supporting paragraph will answer question one, which is 24 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,550 ‫why do you think this is? 25 00:02:10,180 --> 00:02:17,530 ‫Our second supporting paragraph will answer this second question, which is, do you think this should 26 00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:18,480 ‫be changed? 27 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:22,210 ‫So let's start writing down our plan. 28 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:31,980 ‫In my first Deeter, a supporting paragraph sorry, I will say, why is it that boys play sports more 29 00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:32,670 ‫than girls? 30 00:02:32,850 --> 00:02:39,660 ‫I will say that more opportunity so there's more teams available. 31 00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:46,110 ‫I'm going to write a few points here as my supporting paragraph will discuss a few ideas. 32 00:02:46,110 --> 00:02:48,450 ‫Why boys play sports more than girls. 33 00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:50,580 ‫There's more opportunity. 34 00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:57,540 ‫I'm going to write the stigma, which means an old idea that sticks. 35 00:02:57,540 --> 00:03:06,810 ‫So there's a stigma in girls playing sports, a negative thought about girls playing sports. 36 00:03:06,810 --> 00:03:12,390 ‫It's not popular for girls to do it sometimes, not all the time. 37 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:19,350 ‫Occasionally for girls playing sport, especially in schools, their friends may think that it isn't 38 00:03:19,350 --> 00:03:21,500 ‫something that girls should be doing. 39 00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:26,250 ‫And why else could it be that girls are playing sports have got two ideas. 40 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:27,930 ‫I could really use one more. 41 00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:35,580 ‫I think I will go with pressure from parents. 42 00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:43,500 ‫So quite often parents try and steer their children to do more traditional subjects at school. 43 00:03:43,510 --> 00:03:45,840 ‫So for boys that might be science. 44 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:52,560 ‫And for girls that might be more academic subjects like literature or maths or something along those 45 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:53,010 ‫lines. 46 00:03:53,430 --> 00:03:58,620 ‫Okay, so now we going to look at this question, which is, do you think this should be changed? 47 00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:02,250 ‫And I'll get a few ideas down in my plan here. 48 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:17,240 ‫I think the first thing I will say is equal opportunities, so letting children enjoy all subjects possible 49 00:04:17,930 --> 00:04:23,290 ‫so not at already sort of assigning subjects to certain children. 50 00:04:24,170 --> 00:04:28,760 ‫And I think also another thing that we could change is for health reasons. 51 00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:33,170 ‫So sports is good. 52 00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:37,130 ‫Sports is good physically for all children. 53 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,760 ‫And that's definitely true. 54 00:04:39,770 --> 00:04:41,780 ‫And is there anything else I can think of? 55 00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:43,550 ‫Do you think this should be changed? 56 00:04:43,970 --> 00:04:44,450 ‫You know what? 57 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:47,240 ‫I'm going to just leave it with these two points here. 58 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:54,920 ‫So supporting paragraph one, why do you think this is that boys play sports more than girls, more 59 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:55,670 ‫opportunities. 60 00:04:55,730 --> 00:05:04,070 ‫There's more teams available, more boys teams available, and often the subjects are more available 61 00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:04,990 ‫for boys. 62 00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:08,270 ‫There's a stigma for girls playing sports. 63 00:05:08,270 --> 00:05:12,740 ‫It's not considered the right subject for girls to be doing. 64 00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:18,860 ‫Often their friends may think that it isn't particularly cool for girls and their friends to be playing 65 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:19,550 ‫sports. 66 00:05:20,990 --> 00:05:24,770 ‫Another reason why this could be is pressure from parents. 67 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,240 ‫Quite often, parents want their children to do certain subjects. 68 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:35,930 ‫For example, maybe their son isn't allowed to do dance and they would prefer them to do other sports. 69 00:05:36,290 --> 00:05:38,570 ‫And the same could be said for girls, of course. 70 00:05:38,930 --> 00:05:44,810 ‫And also second question, do you think this should be changed, which I will address in supporting 71 00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:45,760 ‫paragraph two? 72 00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:48,990 ‫Yes, I think it should be changed. 73 00:05:49,010 --> 00:05:50,750 ‫Equal opportunities. 74 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:58,790 ‫So letting children enjoy all subjects possible and all the opportunities that they can let them make 75 00:05:58,790 --> 00:06:02,240 ‫their own mind up for health reasons. 76 00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:09,560 ‫Sports is good physically for anybody and playing sports is definitely good for that. 77 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:14,570 ‫I could also say just a quick thought to social skills. 78 00:06:14,570 --> 00:06:24,020 ‫So it definitely builds skills in teamwork and social skills and that determination to succeed in sport. 79 00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:29,330 ‫And maybe it would be good to offer that chance to both boys and girls. 80 00:06:30,170 --> 00:06:38,090 ‫The question does not ask for my opinion, so I'm not going to include this in my conclusion. 81 00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:41,300 ‫And really, that's it. 82 00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,460 ‫So that's my plan for this question. 83 00:06:43,460 --> 00:06:47,090 ‫Let's move on to beginning our writing. 84 00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:55,890 ‫OK, so here we have our features checklist, we need a three sentence introduction, support, paragraph 85 00:06:56,010 --> 00:07:03,450 ‫to conclusion, clear ordering and structure and plenty of examples when we are discussing these questions 86 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:10,530 ‫and we have topic specific vocabulary, sentence openers and a mix of sentence types. 87 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:19,170 ‫So the first thing that I need to do, of course, is to begin with my introduction paragraph. 88 00:07:19,170 --> 00:07:24,900 ‫So sentence one paraphrased throughout education, boys often play sports. 89 00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:27,800 ‫Let's begin with throughout education. 90 00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:30,930 ‫Let's go with during school. 91 00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:45,210 ‫During school there is often more opportunity, opportunity for boys to play sports more than girls. 92 00:07:45,970 --> 00:07:50,910 ‫Okay, so this is just paraphrasing this first part of the question. 93 00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:57,360 ‫Throughout education, boys often play sports for longer and more often than girls. 94 00:07:57,690 --> 00:08:05,040 ‫And I paraphrase with during school, there is often more opportunity for boys to play sports than girls. 95 00:08:05,050 --> 00:08:06,590 ‫Let's go with the girls. 96 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:13,440 ‫And again, it is very important that you're reading back whilst you're writing so that you can edit 97 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,420 ‫and also consider what will come next. 98 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:23,880 ‫So in our second sentence, we will quickly say what we will do, which is our plan sentence. 99 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:36,900 ‫So in this essay, a great way to start, I will discuss why this happens and if it could be considered 100 00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:39,360 ‫a positive thing. 101 00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:46,380 ‫OK, so I'm just basically saying that I'm going to answer those two questions. 102 00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:47,520 ‫Why do you think it is? 103 00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,280 ‫Should it be changed in this essay? 104 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:54,660 ‫I'll discuss why it is and if it's good, should it be changed. 105 00:08:54,690 --> 00:08:58,860 ‫So that's my second sentence in the introduction paragraph. 106 00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:04,290 ‫Let's go on to our next step, which is, of course, firstly. 107 00:09:04,350 --> 00:09:08,580 ‫So we're going to be saying what we will say in each supporting paragraph. 108 00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:24,900 ‫Firstly, I will consider why this is a trend, a noticeable trend in many educational establishments. 109 00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:30,960 ‫OK, so I'm not saying schools, I'm saying educational establishments. 110 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:35,390 ‫And that's purely because it sounds a bit more interesting. 111 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,800 ‫So I'm showing off to the examiner here. 112 00:09:38,610 --> 00:09:39,180 ‫OK. 113 00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:47,930 ‫Secondly, secondly, I will explore apologies for the spelling here. 114 00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:57,000 ‫Secondly, I will explore if this should be changed in the future. 115 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,210 ‫OK, there we go. 116 00:09:59,370 --> 00:10:00,210 ‫Quite simple. 117 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:08,420 ‫So the three part introduction paragraph here is four sentences, but really we could put these together. 118 00:10:08,790 --> 00:10:12,860 ‫OK, so that is my introduction paragraph complete. 119 00:10:14,010 --> 00:10:18,120 ‫So let's begin with our first supporting paragraph. 120 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,120 ‫And why do you think this is? 121 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:30,750 ‫There are many reasons why boys play more sports than girls. 122 00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:36,150 ‫Just an opening sentence so that I'm signaling to the signaling. 123 00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:40,650 ‫Sorry to the examiner what I will talk about in this supporting paragraph. 124 00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:57,830 ‫Firstly, there are often many more sporting teams available to boys during their school life. 125 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,290 ‫That's my topic sentence. 126 00:10:59,290 --> 00:11:03,630 ‫So let's add a little bit more detail with a support sentence. 127 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:16,530 ‫Girls are often limited to only a handful of teams from which they can join. 128 00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:19,500 ‫OK, and you know what? 129 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:24,300 ‫I might use some brackets just to show that I can use punctuation. 130 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:28,200 ‫Well, such as netball, a very English sport. 131 00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:31,200 ‫OK, let's give an example. 132 00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:44,430 ‫For example, as there are many boys teams in different schools, different local schools. 133 00:11:45,980 --> 00:12:00,530 ‫It is easier for tournaments to be organized, giving more games and practice times to the boys, OK, 134 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:02,390 ‫which is definitely true. 135 00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:03,830 ‫You know what? 136 00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:05,810 ‫I use the British spelling here. 137 00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:12,800 ‫Even if it's saying I'm wrong, as there are more boys teams in local schools, it's easier to make 138 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,640 ‫these games after school games and tournaments and competitions. 139 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,700 ‫The girls generally have less opportunities with that. 140 00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:27,870 ‫And I'm just going to discuss one more point in this paragraph, because I don't want to write too much 141 00:12:27,870 --> 00:12:30,830 ‫so that I go over the time limit. 142 00:12:31,140 --> 00:12:33,470 ‫So I was talking about a stigma. 143 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:40,200 ‫It's not particularly cool for girls to play sports sometimes and pressure from parents. 144 00:12:40,450 --> 00:12:43,100 ‫And I think I'll go with pressure from parents. 145 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:46,620 ‫I feel a bit more confident writing about this in detail. 146 00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:51,350 ‫Secondly, apologies for the spelling there. 147 00:12:51,390 --> 00:13:04,980 ‫Secondly, parents often pressure their children to enroll in more traditional, gender based, gender 148 00:13:04,980 --> 00:13:05,430 ‫based. 149 00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:10,670 ‫That's a collocation gender, of course, means female or male. 150 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:13,020 ‫So gender based subjects. 151 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,870 ‫Let's say so, I want to add some more detail. 152 00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:25,890 ‫Secondly, parents often pressure their children to enroll in more traditional gender based subjects 153 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:30,000 ‫and might try and add a nice sentence open here. 154 00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:44,250 ‫Furthermore, the pressure from the families limits children's opportunities. 155 00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:49,500 ‫To explore new. 156 00:13:50,960 --> 00:14:01,550 ‫Academics and interests, so furthermore, the pressure from their families limits children's opportunities 157 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:05,540 ‫to explore new academics and interests. 158 00:14:06,150 --> 00:14:13,940 ‫OK, we could say, for example, but I just want to give an example that I could talk about. 159 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:26,120 ‫For example, with Danso boys, quite often boys quite often are discouraged from more creative subjects 160 00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:30,770 ‫such as dance and art. 161 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:38,510 ‫OK, so this is just an example that I'm giving from my knowledge is not a specific example. 162 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:41,600 ‫It's just something that I consider to be true. 163 00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:45,920 ‫OK, so let's read back this first supporting paragraph. 164 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:53,600 ‫There are many reasons why boys play more sports than girls, an opening sentence to signal what are 165 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,000 ‫discussed in this paragraph. 166 00:14:55,640 --> 00:15:02,860 ‫Firstly, there are often many more sporting teams available to boys during that school life. 167 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:10,670 ‫Girls are often limited to only a handful of teams from which they can join, such as netball. 168 00:15:10,690 --> 00:15:17,180 ‫Another example given, for example, as there are many boys teams in different local schools, it is 169 00:15:17,180 --> 00:15:23,130 ‫easier for tournaments to be organised, giving more games and practice times to the boys. 170 00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:31,430 ‫Secondly, parents often pressure their children to enroll in more traditional gender based subjects. 171 00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:33,870 ‫Furthermore, an eye opener. 172 00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:41,510 ‫The pressure from their families limit children's opportunities to explore new academics and interests. 173 00:15:42,110 --> 00:15:51,140 ‫Boys quite often are discouraged from more creative subjects such as dance and arts, and the creative 174 00:15:51,140 --> 00:15:54,230 ‫subjects are generally considered to be music. 175 00:15:54,230 --> 00:15:57,440 ‫Dance are those kinds of things. 176 00:15:58,050 --> 00:16:02,750 ‫Okay, so that looks like a pretty well organized supporting paragraph there. 177 00:16:02,780 --> 00:16:03,920 ‫Some examples. 178 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:09,170 ‫We've got topic sentences and support sentences to give more detail. 179 00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:15,560 ‫It's now time for us to move on to question two, which is do you think this should be changed? 180 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:22,940 ‫I think the first thing that I was talking about in my plan that I noted down was equal opportunities. 181 00:16:23,210 --> 00:16:34,880 ‫So I'm going to begin with equal opportunities should be given to all people without consideration of 182 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:35,650 ‫gender. 183 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:44,330 ‫So that's a topic sentence and also kind of that opening sentence to signal to the examiner what I'll 184 00:16:44,330 --> 00:16:45,010 ‫discuss. 185 00:16:45,260 --> 00:16:52,440 ‫So equal opportunities should be given to all people without consideration of gender. 186 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:59,450 ‫So I'm still talking about this equal opportunities, in my opinion. 187 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:14,110 ‫There are many girls who would love to play more sports from a young age, but find it difficult to 188 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:24,490 ‫enroll in or join sorry enrollees more for universities to join teams and find clubs. 189 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,570 ‫OK, so let's read that back. 190 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:33,610 ‫In my opinion, there are many girls who would love to play more sports from a young age, but find 191 00:17:33,610 --> 00:17:37,330 ‫it difficult to join teams and find clubs. 192 00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:42,160 ‫And I will give an example with for this reason. 193 00:17:44,960 --> 00:18:00,230 ‫Girls are often left with little choice but to continue studies in more traditional academic subjects. 194 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:06,650 ‫OK, so let's have a quick read back of that. 195 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:13,370 ‫For this reason, girls are often left with little choice but to continue studies in more traditional 196 00:18:13,370 --> 00:18:14,890 ‫academic subjects. 197 00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:22,400 ‫So I think I've made my point quite well for equal opportunities and letting children decide what they 198 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,150 ‫might enjoy in the sentences here. 199 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:30,260 ‫I think now I'll move on to my second point, which was for health reasons. 200 00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:33,400 ‫Let's begin with an eye opener. 201 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:43,160 ‫Another point to add is that sports are excellent for our health and well-being. 202 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:57,140 ‫Girls, as much as boys can benefit from regular exercise as well as gaining. 203 00:18:57,140 --> 00:19:04,970 ‫I'm just going to add a quick point about the social skills as well as gaining social skills and teamwork. 204 00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:13,280 ‫OK, so this is my second point I was discussing about health reasons, and I also consider it in my 205 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:18,140 ‫plan that maybe there was the social skills and teamwork reasons to. 206 00:19:18,830 --> 00:19:24,470 ‫So another point to add is that sports are excellent for our health and wellbeing. 207 00:19:24,950 --> 00:19:33,070 ‫Girls, as much as boys can benefit from regular exercise as well as gaining social skills and teamwork. 208 00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:40,220 ‫So it's a little bit shorter than my first supporting paragraph, which is fine, as I've added a lot 209 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,450 ‫of detail here. 210 00:19:42,350 --> 00:19:46,940 ‫It's now time for us to move on to our conclusion. 211 00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:54,650 ‫And I'm not really going to be giving my opinion here so I can begin with in conclusion. 212 00:19:54,650 --> 00:20:06,470 ‫Of course, in conclusion, it seems that boys are given much, many more instead of opportunities, 213 00:20:06,470 --> 00:20:09,850 ‫chances to play sports. 214 00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:20,590 ‫But girls should almost definitely have the same opportunities to ask. 215 00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:21,230 ‫There you go. 216 00:20:21,230 --> 00:20:26,240 ‫That's a short but sweet conclusion in one sentence. 217 00:20:26,780 --> 00:20:34,340 ‫In conclusion, it seems that boys are given many more chances to play sports, but girls should almost 218 00:20:34,340 --> 00:20:37,980 ‫definitely have the same opportunities, too. 219 00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:49,070 ‫So there we have this complete essay for a two part question with the topic of sports and school, I've 220 00:20:49,070 --> 00:20:51,250 ‫got my three sentence introduction. 221 00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:59,060 ‫There is the two support paragraphs which are very well ordered and there are plenty of examples. 222 00:20:59,450 --> 00:21:03,200 ‫I've got a short but sweet conclusion. 223 00:21:04,070 --> 00:21:11,120 ‫There's lots of topic specific vocabulary, such as creative subjects and academics, whatever that 224 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:11,540 ‫was. 225 00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:16,100 ‫There's plenty of topic specific vocabulary for sports and schools here. 226 00:21:16,820 --> 00:21:17,900 ‫Sentence openers. 227 00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:24,800 ‫Yes, I've used lots of great sentence openers and there's definitely a mix of sentence types in here. 228 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:32,120 ‫So I know that it might not have absolutely everything, but it's definitely got these key features 229 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:35,090 ‫here, so it's sure to score pretty well. 230 00:21:35,570 --> 00:21:42,380 ‫And OK, I hope you enjoyed this muddled writing lesson and I'll see you in the next lesson.