‫Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another modeled writing task to a lesson, and today we're going
‫to be looking at a question around the topic of sports.
‫I just want to point out that this was a request made by an elite seven plus student.
‫And thank you very much for this request.
‫I just wanted to show that, you know, I really do appreciate hearing from you all.
‫And I will try my best to upload lessons that you feel need adding into the course.
‫So in this lesson, we're going to be looking at one of the question types that apana has requested.
‫So thank you very much for that.
‫Let's take a look at the question.
‫I'm not going to go over the features checklist again right away because I'll have it in the writing
‫process.
‫So we'll just jump straight into having a look at the question.
‫So throughout education, boys often play sports for longer and more often than girls.
‫Why do you think this is?
‫Do you think this should be changed?
‫OK, so the first thing we need to do, as always, is to consider what type of question this is.
‫And it's quite obvious to see that we are asked to questions.
‫So it's a two part question.
‫Why do you think this is?
‫Do you think this should be changed?
‫And we are talking about the topic of boys playing sports more often than girls at school.
‫OK, so I think it's time that we start putting together a quick plan.
‫So in our two part question plan, our first supporting paragraph will answer question one, which is
‫why do you think this is?
‫Our second supporting paragraph will answer this second question, which is, do you think this should
‫be changed?
‫So let's start writing down our plan.
‫In my first Deeter, a supporting paragraph sorry, I will say, why is it that boys play sports more
‫than girls?
‫I will say that more opportunity so there's more teams available.
‫I'm going to write a few points here as my supporting paragraph will discuss a few ideas.
‫Why boys play sports more than girls.
‫There's more opportunity.
‫I'm going to write the stigma, which means an old idea that sticks.
‫So there's a stigma in girls playing sports, a negative thought about girls playing sports.
‫It's not popular for girls to do it sometimes, not all the time.
‫Occasionally for girls playing sport, especially in schools, their friends may think that it isn't
‫something that girls should be doing.
‫And why else could it be that girls are playing sports have got two ideas.
‫I could really use one more.
‫I think I will go with pressure from parents.
‫So quite often parents try and steer their children to do more traditional subjects at school.
‫So for boys that might be science.
‫And for girls that might be more academic subjects like literature or maths or something along those
‫lines.
‫Okay, so now we going to look at this question, which is, do you think this should be changed?
‫And I'll get a few ideas down in my plan here.
‫I think the first thing I will say is equal opportunities, so letting children enjoy all subjects possible
‫so not at already sort of assigning subjects to certain children.
‫And I think also another thing that we could change is for health reasons.
‫So sports is good.
‫Sports is good physically for all children.
‫And that's definitely true.
‫And is there anything else I can think of?
‫Do you think this should be changed?
‫You know what?
‫I'm going to just leave it with these two points here.
‫So supporting paragraph one, why do you think this is that boys play sports more than girls, more
‫opportunities.
‫There's more teams available, more boys teams available, and often the subjects are more available
‫for boys.
‫There's a stigma for girls playing sports.
‫It's not considered the right subject for girls to be doing.
‫Often their friends may think that it isn't particularly cool for girls and their friends to be playing
‫sports.
‫Another reason why this could be is pressure from parents.
‫Quite often, parents want their children to do certain subjects.
‫For example, maybe their son isn't allowed to do dance and they would prefer them to do other sports.
‫And the same could be said for girls, of course.
‫And also second question, do you think this should be changed, which I will address in supporting
‫paragraph two?
‫Yes, I think it should be changed.
‫Equal opportunities.
‫So letting children enjoy all subjects possible and all the opportunities that they can let them make
‫their own mind up for health reasons.
‫Sports is good physically for anybody and playing sports is definitely good for that.
‫I could also say just a quick thought to social skills.
‫So it definitely builds skills in teamwork and social skills and that determination to succeed in sport.
‫And maybe it would be good to offer that chance to both boys and girls.
‫The question does not ask for my opinion, so I'm not going to include this in my conclusion.
‫And really, that's it.
‫So that's my plan for this question.
‫Let's move on to beginning our writing.
‫OK, so here we have our features checklist, we need a three sentence introduction, support, paragraph
‫to conclusion, clear ordering and structure and plenty of examples when we are discussing these questions
‫and we have topic specific vocabulary, sentence openers and a mix of sentence types.
‫So the first thing that I need to do, of course, is to begin with my introduction paragraph.
‫So sentence one paraphrased throughout education, boys often play sports.
‫Let's begin with throughout education.
‫Let's go with during school.
‫During school there is often more opportunity, opportunity for boys to play sports more than girls.
‫Okay, so this is just paraphrasing this first part of the question.
‫Throughout education, boys often play sports for longer and more often than girls.
‫And I paraphrase with during school, there is often more opportunity for boys to play sports than girls.
‫Let's go with the girls.
‫And again, it is very important that you're reading back whilst you're writing so that you can edit
‫and also consider what will come next.
‫So in our second sentence, we will quickly say what we will do, which is our plan sentence.
‫So in this essay, a great way to start, I will discuss why this happens and if it could be considered
‫a positive thing.
‫OK, so I'm just basically saying that I'm going to answer those two questions.
‫Why do you think it is?
‫Should it be changed in this essay?
‫I'll discuss why it is and if it's good, should it be changed.
‫So that's my second sentence in the introduction paragraph.
‫Let's go on to our next step, which is, of course, firstly.
‫So we're going to be saying what we will say in each supporting paragraph.
‫Firstly, I will consider why this is a trend, a noticeable trend in many educational establishments.
‫OK, so I'm not saying schools, I'm saying educational establishments.
‫And that's purely because it sounds a bit more interesting.
‫So I'm showing off to the examiner here.
‫OK.
‫Secondly, secondly, I will explore apologies for the spelling here.
‫Secondly, I will explore if this should be changed in the future.
‫OK, there we go.
‫Quite simple.
‫So the three part introduction paragraph here is four sentences, but really we could put these together.
‫OK, so that is my introduction paragraph complete.
‫So let's begin with our first supporting paragraph.
‫And why do you think this is?
‫There are many reasons why boys play more sports than girls.
‫Just an opening sentence so that I'm signaling to the signaling.
‫Sorry to the examiner what I will talk about in this supporting paragraph.
‫Firstly, there are often many more sporting teams available to boys during their school life.
‫That's my topic sentence.
‫So let's add a little bit more detail with a support sentence.
‫Girls are often limited to only a handful of teams from which they can join.
‫OK, and you know what?
‫I might use some brackets just to show that I can use punctuation.
‫Well, such as netball, a very English sport.
‫OK, let's give an example.
‫For example, as there are many boys teams in different schools, different local schools.
‫It is easier for tournaments to be organized, giving more games and practice times to the boys, OK,
‫which is definitely true.
‫You know what?
‫I use the British spelling here.
‫Even if it's saying I'm wrong, as there are more boys teams in local schools, it's easier to make
‫these games after school games and tournaments and competitions.
‫The girls generally have less opportunities with that.
‫And I'm just going to discuss one more point in this paragraph, because I don't want to write too much
‫so that I go over the time limit.
‫So I was talking about a stigma.
‫It's not particularly cool for girls to play sports sometimes and pressure from parents.
‫And I think I'll go with pressure from parents.
‫I feel a bit more confident writing about this in detail.
‫Secondly, apologies for the spelling there.
‫Secondly, parents often pressure their children to enroll in more traditional, gender based, gender
‫based.
‫That's a collocation gender, of course, means female or male.
‫So gender based subjects.
‫Let's say so, I want to add some more detail.
‫Secondly, parents often pressure their children to enroll in more traditional gender based subjects
‫and might try and add a nice sentence open here.
‫Furthermore, the pressure from the families limits children's opportunities.
‫To explore new.
‫Academics and interests, so furthermore, the pressure from their families limits children's opportunities
‫to explore new academics and interests.
‫OK, we could say, for example, but I just want to give an example that I could talk about.
‫For example, with Danso boys, quite often boys quite often are discouraged from more creative subjects
‫such as dance and art.
‫OK, so this is just an example that I'm giving from my knowledge is not a specific example.
‫It's just something that I consider to be true.
‫OK, so let's read back this first supporting paragraph.
‫There are many reasons why boys play more sports than girls, an opening sentence to signal what are
‫discussed in this paragraph.
‫Firstly, there are often many more sporting teams available to boys during that school life.
‫Girls are often limited to only a handful of teams from which they can join, such as netball.
‫Another example given, for example, as there are many boys teams in different local schools, it is
‫easier for tournaments to be organised, giving more games and practice times to the boys.
‫Secondly, parents often pressure their children to enroll in more traditional gender based subjects.
‫Furthermore, an eye opener.
‫The pressure from their families limit children's opportunities to explore new academics and interests.
‫Boys quite often are discouraged from more creative subjects such as dance and arts, and the creative
‫subjects are generally considered to be music.
‫Dance are those kinds of things.
‫Okay, so that looks like a pretty well organized supporting paragraph there.
‫Some examples.
‫We've got topic sentences and support sentences to give more detail.
‫It's now time for us to move on to question two, which is do you think this should be changed?
‫I think the first thing that I was talking about in my plan that I noted down was equal opportunities.
‫So I'm going to begin with equal opportunities should be given to all people without consideration of
‫gender.
‫So that's a topic sentence and also kind of that opening sentence to signal to the examiner what I'll
‫discuss.
‫So equal opportunities should be given to all people without consideration of gender.
‫So I'm still talking about this equal opportunities, in my opinion.
‫There are many girls who would love to play more sports from a young age, but find it difficult to
‫enroll in or join sorry enrollees more for universities to join teams and find clubs.
‫OK, so let's read that back.
‫In my opinion, there are many girls who would love to play more sports from a young age, but find
‫it difficult to join teams and find clubs.
‫And I will give an example with for this reason.
‫Girls are often left with little choice but to continue studies in more traditional academic subjects.
‫OK, so let's have a quick read back of that.
‫For this reason, girls are often left with little choice but to continue studies in more traditional
‫academic subjects.
‫So I think I've made my point quite well for equal opportunities and letting children decide what they
‫might enjoy in the sentences here.
‫I think now I'll move on to my second point, which was for health reasons.
‫Let's begin with an eye opener.
‫Another point to add is that sports are excellent for our health and well-being.
‫Girls, as much as boys can benefit from regular exercise as well as gaining.
‫I'm just going to add a quick point about the social skills as well as gaining social skills and teamwork.
‫OK, so this is my second point I was discussing about health reasons, and I also consider it in my
‫plan that maybe there was the social skills and teamwork reasons to.
‫So another point to add is that sports are excellent for our health and wellbeing.
‫Girls, as much as boys can benefit from regular exercise as well as gaining social skills and teamwork.
‫So it's a little bit shorter than my first supporting paragraph, which is fine, as I've added a lot
‫of detail here.
‫It's now time for us to move on to our conclusion.
‫And I'm not really going to be giving my opinion here so I can begin with in conclusion.
‫Of course, in conclusion, it seems that boys are given much, many more instead of opportunities,
‫chances to play sports.
‫But girls should almost definitely have the same opportunities to ask.
‫There you go.
‫That's a short but sweet conclusion in one sentence.
‫In conclusion, it seems that boys are given many more chances to play sports, but girls should almost
‫definitely have the same opportunities, too.
‫So there we have this complete essay for a two part question with the topic of sports and school, I've
‫got my three sentence introduction.
‫There is the two support paragraphs which are very well ordered and there are plenty of examples.
‫I've got a short but sweet conclusion.
‫There's lots of topic specific vocabulary, such as creative subjects and academics, whatever that
‫was.
‫There's plenty of topic specific vocabulary for sports and schools here.
‫Sentence openers.
‫Yes, I've used lots of great sentence openers and there's definitely a mix of sentence types in here.
‫So I know that it might not have absolutely everything, but it's definitely got these key features
‫here, so it's sure to score pretty well.
‫And OK, I hope you enjoyed this muddled writing lesson and I'll see you in the next lesson.