‫Hello, everyone, and here is our next modelled right lesson, so we're going to look at another question
‫type a different sort of question, as well as a new topic.
‫And of course, we can see that today we'll be looking around the topic of work, which is, of course,
‫very common in ELT's all sections of the ills test.
‫So let's jump right in and take a look at this question.
‫So here we have our question and, of course, our plan.
‫And I'll say it once more.
‫When you receive your question, you really want to have read it and planned within two minutes.
‫So let's read our question.
‫The only reason to work hard is to earn money.
‫To what extent do you agree or disagree?
‫Now I'm thinking this is pretty straightforward question sentence, the only reason to work hard is
‫to earn money and our type of question that we have at the end.
‫Agree or disagree?
‫So I must only agree or I must only disagree, not both for this question type by its nature and agree
‫or disagree.
‫Question also requires that I give my opinion in the conclusion.
‫OK, so let's take a look at our plan.
‫So I actually let me think the only reason to work hard is to earn money.
‫I disagree.
‫I think that is not completely true.
‫Of course, there is no one correct answer here.
‫You can be as long as you give examples.
‫It doesn't matter whether you agree or disagree.
‫Now are the only reason to work hard is to earn money.
‫I disagree with this.
‫So in supporting paragraph one, I probably want to explore two reasons why I disagree in supporting
‫paragraph one and two reasons why I disagree in supporting paragraph two.
‫So that's four reasons all together.
‫And the reason for this is because without doing this, I'd be a little bit low on my word count.
‫It may sound like a lot of different examples to give, but three or four should be OK as long as I
‫give lots of examples and describe my ideas in detail.
‫OK, so supporting paragraph one, why do I disagree with this?
‫Well, I think oh first I would say self improvement, remembering that I don't write long sentences
‫in my plan.
‫Self-improvement and building self-worth, self worth.
‫So they're kind of similar things, self-improvement.
‫So finding new hobbies, learning about new skills, we can say developing skills and understanding.
‫I suppose really this is two or three points all under the same idea of building self-worth and self-improvement.
‫So we have self-improvement such as skills and knowledge, building self-worth and developing skills
‫and understanding, learning new things from our work.
‫I think that really that would probably be enough to go off in my first supporting paragraph.
‫And it's quite nice because there's probably two or three things I can say here about improving ourselves,
‫but it's in the same topics.
‫I'm not talking about self-improvement and then going on to talk about charity in the same supporting
‫paragraph.
‫It makes sense to discuss all this in one paragraph.
‫Right.
‫Let's go on to supporting paragraph two, OK?
‫Why else do I disagree?
‫The only reason to work hard is to earn money.
‫I'm going to say for to help others, help others and charity.
‫I think it's important that we work hard to help others, but maybe also to give us the opportunity
‫to be charitable.
‫And again, it's kind of one main idea, this sort of helping in charity.
‫But we could probably split this into two parts so I could talk about how work can help others.
‫For example, in an office job, if I work hard, maybe for the boss, it's more organized or in a call
‫centre.
‫I'm able to help people who call in if I work hard and give them advice.
‫And for charity, I could maybe talk about a little bit more and give some examples about how if I work
‫hard and earn money, I can be more charitable.
‫So similar topics.
‫It's a really nice way of grouping this.
‫We have similar topics within the same supporting paragraph, self-improvement, self worth supporting
‫paragraph one supporting paragraph to help others and charity.
‫So similar ideas are linked in the same supporting paragraph.
‫And my opinion, I'm just going to disagree.
‫We don't really need to add that in, but it does just help me to remember I disagree.
‫One important thing that we must do when we're writing is to maintain, to keep a straight forward idea
‫to not fallick and flip between agreeing and disagreeing.
‫That would affect my task achievement score, which would mark me lower.
‫So I need to really step.
‫With one idea, with one main point, either agree or disagree, not both, because then you would score
‫really low in terms of task achievement.
‫You've not completely answered the question.
‫OK, so that's it.
‫My plan is ready and I think now it's about time that we start writing.
‫OK, so I'll have to think back to my plan.
‫But of course, we'll begin with our paraphrased introduction.
‫The only reason to work hard is to earn money.
‫Some people feel that the main purpose, synonym reason of working hard is working hard.
‫Or how else could we paraphrase this?
‫Some people feel that the main purpose editing, whilst we write the main purpose of hard work of giving
‫100 percent in our workplaces is to gain more money.
‫OK, so I've kind of actually added again to this short paraphrased sentence here, so I've made mine
‫a bit longer.
‫The only reason to work hard is to earn money.
‫Some people feel that the main purpose of giving 100 percent in our workplace or workplaces workplace
‫maybe sounds better is to gain more money is to earn money to gain more money.
‫I could maybe use a synonym for money is to gain more financial freedom.
‫I don't think we have to change everything.
‫I think that's perfectly fine.
‫OK, paraphrased sentence complete now onto plan in this essay.
‫As always, I will give reasons and examples for why I disagree with this statement.
‫Again, is always this plan.
‫Sentence in our introduction paragraph is always very similar.
‫So it's kind of a good sentence to have because it's pretty much always going to be accurate as long
‫as we stick to the plan to the formula that we have.
‫OK, firstly.
‫Oh, firstly, first.
‫Firstly, I will discuss the benefits of self improvement self, the benefits of working hard, working
‫hard on overall wellbeing.
‫A nice word in a word that's also very popular in the last year or two.
‫Overall wellbeing and self worth.
‫Self worth.
‫And secondly, I will consider how working with focus can help other people achieve around us.
‫OK, so that's kind of saying about helping others in charity here.
‫Let's just read this back.
‫Firstly, I will discuss the benefits of working hard on overall wellbeing and self-worth.
‫And secondly, I will consider how working with folks, working hard, working with focus, pretty much
‫the same thing can help other people achieve around us.
‫I didn't say charity.
‫I suppose that is this statement here.
‫But that's OK.
‫I don't have to explicitly say everything now.
‫OK, so let's begin with my plan on self-improvement and building and developing skills.
‫So maybe I'll start with that self-improvement and skills.
‫And then second, in supporting paragraph one, I'll talk about self-worth and overall wellbeing, that
‫feeling of satisfaction when we achieve something at work to begin with, to begin with, I feel that.
‫So I'm already giving my opinion here.
‫I feel that it is important to really give maximum effort at work, not just for money.
‫I almost use bracket's not just for financial gain.
‫I use that phrase I discussed earlier.
‫I feel that it is important to really give maximum effort at work, not just for financial gain, but
‫also to.
‫Develop your personal skills and understanding.
‫So this learning journey that we can have to begin with, I feel that it is important to really give
‫maximum effort at work, not just for financial gain, but also to develop your personal skills and
‫understanding.
‫It seems clear to me, a nice opening conjunction.
‫It seems clear to me that by trying new activities in our workplace, in our place of employment, trying
‫to avoid using work too often here and of course, checking the spellings as we go, it seems clear
‫to me that by trying new activities in our work, in our place of employment, we can really develop
‫new skills.
‫For example, for example, if a person tries hard to let me just consider this here.
‫So we're talking about we can really develop new skills.
‫We can learn something new.
‫For example, if a person works hard on a task, let's use some brackets and gives 100 percent focus
‫to it.
‫So this bracket here is just showing off as something extra we we have in our English fluency locker.
‫If a person works hard on a task and gives 100 percent focus to it, then they will have the chance
‫of gaining new knowledge.
‫It's almost what I said in the first sentence, my topic sentence.
‫But this just gives me the example here, just gives a bit more of a specific piece of understanding.
‫So I'm talking specifically, if you work hard on something and you focus on it, maybe we could even
‫put this in italics, give you'll have the chance of gaining new knowledge.
‫So that's really what I wanted to talk about in terms of learning new skills.
‫And I was also talking about overall wellbeing, too.
‫Furthermore, by by achieving, achieving something, achieving and completing work well in a person's
‫employment person.
‫So we have our we have our apostrophe here for possession persons employment.
‫By achieving and completing well in a person's employment, they will also gain a feeling of self worth.
‫OK, let's read this back.
‫So we're on to my second point of supporting paragraph one, which is talking about sort of self-worth
‫and well-being.
‫So not just for money, but working hard at work in our employment can just make us feel good.
‫Maybe part of a community is something else that we could say to.
‫Furthermore, by achieving and completing work well in a person's employment, they can also gain a
‫feeling of self worth.
‫In our modern societies, so I'm just going to add a bit of detail here and saying why wellbeing and
‫self-worth is employer is important in our modern society's well-being is very important to allow people
‫to feel safe and part of a community.
‫So I'm actually in this supporting sentence here, just giving a bit more information about self-worth.
‫What is it?
‫So I'm still answering the question, but I'm in fact kind of almost explaining why I'm talking about
‫this.
‫Furthermore, by achieving and completing work well in a person's employment, they can also gain a
‫feeling of self-worth.
‫Why is that important in our modern society's well-being is very important to allow people to feel safe
‫and part of a community.
‫OK, great.
‫So I've got my topic.
‫I've got my support.
‫And I might just give a quick example here.
‫I'm not going to start with for example or for instance, I'm just going to jump straight into this
‫and say there has been has been a huge rise in adult depression globally within the last 10 years.
‫OK, so this is, again, just given a bit more detail about this, furthermore, by achieving and completing
‫work well in a person's employment, they can gain a feeling of self-worth.
‫And our modern society's well-being is very important to allow people to feel safe and part of a community.
‫There has been a huge rise in adult depression globally within the last 10 years.
‫And I think just to bring it back, just to try and come back to the question, because really this
‫sentence here sort of is saying another example of why it's important to work hard, not just for money.
‫And really these two sentences explain in a bit more detail.
‫But just to bring it back to the question, I'll add a hyphen.
‫There has been a huge rise in our depression globally within the last 10 years.
‫And and success within work can have a positive affect on this.
‫A really nice piece of writing there, because we all sandwich the question.
‫So this is answering the question and this is explaining in more detail.
‫And this is bringing it back to the question.
‫It's almost sort of sandwiching the ideas here between this and this and giving more detail.
‫Very nice structure.
‫OK, so let's jump into my supporting paragraph two.
‫I might actually only give I might make this a little bit shorter because just looking at this, remembering
‫we want to aim for around 260 to 280 words is good.
‫I'm not counting the words, but I'm just looking at this and using my experience to say if I was to
‫write another paragraph that was that long, we're probably going to be going well over 300.
‫So I might keep this supporting paragraph three, maybe just a sentence short or so.
‫Skip that last example at the end.
‫That's fine.
‫OK, so my second point to say why it's important to work hard, not other than just to consider money,
‫was for charity and helping others.
‫So I'll start with helping others first.
‫In addition to this, in addition to this, by working hard, we can also really help others, other
‫people with their problems to come to.
‫Pretty straightforward my topic sentence.
‫In addition to this, by working hard, we can also really help other people with their problems to.
‫I'm just going to go back to the question again, as much as money is important to almost all people,
‫helping others is a very noble task as well.
‫Again, just revisiting the question, just to make sure that I'm answering this, the only reason to
‫work hard is to earn money.
‫And actually I'm saying, yes, money is important, but helping others is a very noble task as well.
‫As much as money is important to almost all people, helping others is a very noble task as well.
‫For instance, I haven't used that yet in and I'm going to use the call center in a call center, a
‫call center.
‫People will call with a range of questions and inquiries, inquiries.
‫So I'm actually going to finish the sentence here and then I'm going to continue this kind of example.
‫For instance, in a call center, people will call with a range of questions and inquiries at staff
‫at this work place can endeavor a nice piece of language, their endeavor to endeavor, I think.
‫Is that correct?
‫Endeavor to to solve any customer queries and can answer more calls if they intend to work very hard.
‫OK, let's just read this back.
‫Let's go from here, for instance, in a call center, people will, shall we say, ring in.
‫So we're not repeating call, for instance, in a call center, people will ring in a little bit informal,
‫but it's OK with a range of questions and inquiries.
‫Staff at this workplace can endeavor to solve any customer queries and can answer more calls if they
‫intend to work very hard.
‫So another reason to help more people.
‫I also mentioned charity as well as this.
‫We can consider charity as a very important consideration when working hard, when focusing, when giving
‫one hundred percent.
‫I use that again, giving 100 percent in our work.
‫OK, let's read this back as well as this.
‫We can consider charity is a very important consideration when giving 100 percent in our work.
‫Often this may lead to us.
‫Often I want to say effort and diligence.
‫A nice piece of vocabulary may lead to us being more financially, financially financial.
‫Sorry, I'm spelling terrible here.
‫Financially successful.
‫And in turn, this means and in turn this means we can give more to charity, not a bad idea here at
‫the end.
‫So just in terms of charity, we've got more spare more spare finances to help and give more to charity.
‫So let's just read this back.
‫I think I'll make this my last sentence here.
‫So really, when talking about charity, I've kind of summed it up in just two sentences instead of
‫the usual three or four.
‫As well as this we can consider charity is a very important consideration when giving 100 percent in
‫our work.
‫Often effort and diligence may lead us to being more financially successful.
‫And in turn, this means we can give more to charity.
‫Now, I've used a comma here.
‫Some of you may be saying, well, you don't really need a comma.
‫I think that this is its own clause in itself, including that.
‫And so I'm going to put a comma in here.
‫You could possibly argue, even with advanced native English writers, that it possibly doesn't need
‫a comma.
‫But I actually like it here, part of style to separate this clause.
‫OK, so let's move on to the final paragraph, which is, of course, our conclusion.
‫And I'm just going to do this in one sentence.
‫I've really given my opinion all the way through, but I'm not going to write to conclude or maybe I
‫will use to as normal to conclude.
‫There are many reasons that a person should work hard in their employment.
‫I disagree my opinion.
‫I disagree that money is the most important reason to give top effort at work.
‫Straightforward, simple.
‫And you can't disagree with the conclusion here.
‫I've just sort of said to conclude there are lots of different pluses and minuses.
‫Pretty much always use this in a conclusion.
‫And then I've just given my opinion so I could say, in my opinion, I disagree, but I'm just going
‫to go straight in and say I disagree that money is the most important reason to give top effort at work.
‫Or should I say the only reason probably would be a little bit better.
‫So let's just go back to that is the only reason to give to give top effort at work.
‫OK, so that looks pretty good to me.
‫And I think the last thing to do is, of course, if this was in the exam, I would go through and just
‫edit a little bit more, although it's always good to edit as you write, I'm going to say this is actually
‫a little bit long.
‫Let's just check the word count now.
‫OK, so this is a yes, definitely a little bit long at around 350, three, five words.
‫So maybe I should have cut it down a little bit.
‫However, I did manage to write this well within the time limit.
‫Of course, I've written a lot of these, so it's a little bit quicker for me.
‫But yet pause the video, have a good read through.
‫There's nothing wrong with spending reading through these sort of band nine essays and reports once
‫or twice a day for a week or two.
‫Repetition and reading is super important and to be honest, I would in fact recommend that you maybe
‫read, pause the video and read through twice.
‫Have another look tomorrow, pause the video and read through a few more times.
‫Go back to those scripts and keep reading through and you'll find that through repetition and time that
‫the structures will become more natural to you.
‫OK, so I will see you in the next lesson.