053 What men want

What men want: The struggle of the modern man

The change in the world with women asserting in every sphere of life has really affected the traditional view men had about their good old world. Modern man is struggling to find his place in the new world but surely he is also evolving to fit into the changing circumstances. As he is evolving his outlook of life, relationships and expectations from his partner are also changing. This might be confusing to women but it is necessary for women to understand, appreciate and deal with this new reality as much as men are dealing with the reality of a newly assertive, confident and independent women.

What Men Want: What are men seeking in a relationship?

Friends this is a complex question and it does not have a simple answer. But keeping in mind the ever-changing and evolving world around us, we can construct a structure of what men might be really seeking in a relationship.

To start with there should be a basic love-interest and attraction for a relationship to build on. Men in the core of their hearts desire a trustworthy, faithful partner who can eventually share his personal life. Men are seeking women with a balance of the feminine and masculine nature. He would like to have a woman in his life who can be gentle, caring, nurturing, compassionate and simultaneously assertive, independent and intelligent.

What men want: Assertive and supportive partner

He would be seeking a friend as well as a mother for his future children. Men would also like to relate to their women, talk to them and share a joke with them. Sense of humor and good communication skills are important. Men would be looking for women who are supportive and are not nagging. He would prefer his partner to be assertive but not abusive and angry.

What men want: Stimulating and exciting partner

He would like a partner who is stimulating and challenging and who puts her natural efforts in keeping the zing going on in the relationship. Commitment, closeness and long term bonding is also important for him. Exploring sex and novelty in sex "stimulate men" and women who can participate in these kinds of experiments in a relationship will be high in demand. He also wants a relationship that builds on camaraderie, respect for each other and sharing in a mutually beneficial way. Infact men really look for buddies in all relationships.

What Men Want: The physiological and psychological perspective and the various stages

Looking from the most physical and biological level we can say that men desire hot, sexy and a happening girl as portrayed by the mass media. He goes flat for the physical attributes and desires the superwomen types. Here the urge is lust and sex in the primal form. But this does not stand for long and cannot stand for long as an isolated stage. From this primal stage there is a transition to the next stage where men would like to get into relationships which are little stable and which they can boost among their circle of influence and friends. Here men try to have the best girl in the town and the major criteria is show off and pride. This is a stage where men are trying to fit into the system and they are particularly concerned about what others think about his relationship and his girl. Further he expects that his relationship is based on truthfulness and mutual trust.

What men want: The stage of maturity

Next stage is of maturity. Here he is trying to find the real meaning of his life. At this stage the focus slowly shifts from him to her. Its about giving and sharing than receiving. This is a stage where relationships are experienced and encountered as a mix of the physical, mental, intellectual and spiritual realms. Here the focus is on giving selflessly, serve, share and sacrifice a bit. Its a stage where he thinks of forming long term bond. The focus is also to create a home based on creativity, intellect, ambition and a diehard positive spirit. The search is to find somebody who is on one's same level and loves one for what one really is rather than on the superficialities.

What men want: The interrelation of stages

All these stages can work out in an interrelated way and there is no fixed rule that one stage will move to the next stage. In fact most of the times its a kind of mixed story but as age progresses we can assume that men move from the basal physical stage to the stage where they are searching the true meaning of their life. We can still try to put things in age perspective but it has to be clearly understood that most of the times things are just interchangeable and work in a complex interconnected way.

What Men Want: At the age of 20, 30 and 40

At the age of 20's its time to enjoy and be merry. Here men are trying to find a pretty woman and show off to the world. At 30's he expects little stability and sanity in his life and therefore he is expecting a partner with whom he can settle down and share his life. At 40's he is more sensitive and he is in the process of finding the true meaning of his life. Here there can be an awakening, reemphasising and rebuilding of the relationship all over again. Again let me emphasize on the fact that the numbers are not absolute and some men move faster to the next stage and some remain in one stage for their entire life and there are few who are a mix of everything.

What Men Want: Nine general traits that a Man expects from his girl in his life

1. He knows that he is not adequate and fully grown and he expects that she makes him want to grow and be a better man.
2. He wants to connect with the society and he expects that she gets along with friends and family.
3. He wants some peace in his life. The world is any way barking and shouting at him and therefore he wants a nagless partner.
4. A man is a man and he wants to feel confident as a man. He would love a girl who lets him be a man.
5. This one is the most important issue for him in the ever-changing world. He needs self-respect and a boost to his ego and therefore he expects a girl who can respect him for whatever he is without being judgemental.
6. Of course he is a great connoisseur of beauty and he expects that she is beautiful not only physically but in all other ways. It also means that she is intelligent, communicative, assertive, sexual and enterprising in bed. 7. Finally he expects a caring and loving girl who is a bit like his own mother.

What men want: Every Man is unique just like every woman

Knowing what men want is a really tough question and though I have tried to generalize it, it is better to approach your man as a unique piece of wonder as you yourself are. His needs and feelings may be as personal as it is yours.

Somewhere we have to make a beginning and it's always better if we make the initiation at our own self. We can strengthen this mass movement for the "rise of womanhood" by bringing about the necessary changes in our own life as felt by our inner self. Further we can transmit the new thinking to others who care to listen. A small step today will definitely lead to a giant leap tomorrow.